Apocalypse Demon Kitten of DOOM!

[Saph]

This happened in our last session. I remember someone started up a 'How deadly can you make a kitten?' thread a while ago, so I thought they'd find this funny. :)

We ran into two Apocalypse Demon Unicorns - basically this monster modified for Forgotten Realms D&D. They could hide in plain sight and did chaotic and evil damage on a hit to any character who was lawful and/or good. The shadowdancer gets skewered and nearly killed - that's okay, all in a day's work for us. The fighters roll forward into melee and take one down. I hit the other with a baleful polymorph. It fails its save. I turn it into a kitten. (My character likes kittens.)

As it turned out, this was a mistake.

The creature keeps its template and special abilities, so now it's an Apocalypse Demon Kitten. It jumps on the nearest character and starts clawing him. Its claws do almost nothing but it's still got its chaos- and evil-aligned damage and all of a sudden it starts rolling nothing but 19s and 20s on its attacks. Everyone else tries to hit it but since it's so small, it gets cover from whoever it's attacking and it also now has an enormous AC, meaning the fighters keep hitting each other instead. Meanwhile the kitten's jumping from one person to another, hitting with every attack.

We imagined it as being a lot like the Killer Rabbit Scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The party's HP got so low that we were seriously considering running away and trying to take it out with ranged attacks, but it was pointed out that if we ran away we'd never live it down. Finally the fighter managed to kill it with his axe and we all sighed in relief.

The DM mentioned that it was a good thing no-one had died, because there was no way the gods would agree to resurrect anyone killed by a kitten.

I think next time I use baleful polymorph I'll pick something less dangerous.

- Saph

[Reinboom]

Saph, for your DM, send her/him my love please.
And may I apply for a position?
- Also, I have to do this for my campaign now.

[Nada Rakshasa]

Wow . . . just . . . wow. This is one of funniest things I've read in a long while. Thank you for sharing.

[kjones]

Excellent story. If this happened in my game, the party would have been the laughingstock of the Prime Material Plane.

One question: Why/how did the fighters hit each other? I don't remember rules for accidental friendly fire in melee...

[Chronos]

One question: Why/how did the fighters hit each other? I don't remember rules for accidental friendly fire in melee...

The kitten is getting a cover bonus from the fighter it's fighting. If you miss a creature that has cover, there's a chance that you hit the cover instead. I'm not finding it in the online SRD, but it's in the dead-tree book.

[Arakune]

The kitten is getting a cover bonus from the fighter it's fighting. If you miss a creature that has cover, there's a chance that you hit the cover instead. I'm not finding it in the online SRD, but it's in the dead-tree book.

And make sense too.

[wadledo]

^: Now that's scary.

Seriously? Hilarious.
I want that that happen to my group now.

[AslanCross]

This is so awesome. This will be my BBEG's pet from now on.

"Easy, Fluffy. Don't tear the good paladin's eyes out."

[Thrawn183]

Happened to a beholder with my group. Ruled that the bunny it got baleful polymorphed into could still use two eye rays a round. That's still a bunny that can insta-kill/turn you to stone.

[kjones]

"There it is!"

"What, behind the rabbit?"

Thanks, I remember the "hitting cover" thing but didn't think to apply it here. Comedy gold.

[MrNexx]

Anyone else think its somewhat ridiculous that they keep their templates when you change them?

[Doresain]

Anyone else think its somewhat ridiculous that they keep their templates when you change them?

of course not...as long as it makes the game entertaining, and amusing for everyone else reading it later on the GitP forums, then who cares?