Support the GITP forums on Patreon
Help support GITP's forums (and ongoing server maintenance) via Patreon
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 31 to 53 of 53
  1. - Top - End - #31
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Is that relevant to what Themrys said?
    It is a little easier to look down on male sexuality, if you are not involved in it in either direction.
    In any case, I think there should be more kindness when talking about men and women.
    Negativity is unhelpful.

  2. - Top - End - #32
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2009

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by snowblizz View Post
    IMHO unless you took that much time you don't have a friendship. Real friends are very much partners in life.

    As a friend of mine is vaunt to say "a real friend helps you hide the body". I tell him if he is really my friend he'll call someone else first.
    As I originally heard the quote (back in the 80s)...

    "Friends help you move. Real Friends help you move bodies".

    Alternatively...

    "A friend will bail you out of jail. A real friend is in the cell next to you".
    "That's a horrible idea! What time?"

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Dragon in the Playground Moderator
     
    Peelee's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by tomandtish View Post
    As I originally heard the quote (back in the 80s)...

    "Friends help you move. Real Friends help you move bodies".

    Alternatively...

    "A friend will bail you out of jail. A real friend is in the cell next to you".
    Those sayings are pithy, but the problem is inherent straight away. The friend is significantly better than the real friend; the friend with the bail money is the valuable one here. I don't need someone in the cell next to me, that does nothing. Both people are stuck in jail, that is literally the worst possible outcome in this "two people and a jail" scenario!
    The Mod on the Silver Mountain avatars by the wonderfully talented Cuthalion!

    If anyone has a crayon drawing they would like to put on the Kickstarter Reward Collection Thread, PM me.
    Spoiler: Avatar collection
    Show
    Spoiler: Come down with fire
    Show
    Spoiler: Lift my spirit higher
    Show
    Spoiler: Someone's screaming my name
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Your bread looks like a rotary phone.
    This right here, is some prime quality culinary critique.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

    Join Date
    Aug 2013

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by tomandtish View Post
    As I originally heard the quote (back in the 80s)...

    "Friends help you move. Real Friends help you move bodies".

    Alternatively...

    "A friend will bail you out of jail. A real friend is in the cell next to you".
    Just as a note, half the "fun"* with the move the body thing is we (me and my friends) all know that one local incident about 20 years ago when this actually happened.
    A guy killed his stepfather and his friend (claims unwittingly) helped move a rug containing the body.

    So to us, it's not exactly just a saying. It really happened and we all know the people who did it. It's small community (and in my lifetime, going on 40 years, there have been 3 murders).

    *some will argue morbid


    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Those sayings are pithy, but the problem is inherent straight away. The friend is significantly better than the real friend; the friend with the bail money is the valuable one here. I don't need someone in the cell next to me, that does nothing. Both people are stuck in jail, that is literally the worst possible outcome in this "two people and a jail" scenario!
    Well the saying isn't about how useful said people are but more about closeness of your bond of friendship. Becasue naturally the winner is the brief aquitance who talks you out off doing anything before it happens.
    Last edited by snowblizz; 2020-03-02 at 04:51 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Spore's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2013

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    With me being active on a rather promiscuous gay dating platform (no it's not grindr) for about 15 years now, I can understand you people. The following will be smart tips none of which I will do myself because I love sabotaging myself too much apparently.

    1) Be sure what you are looking for, communicate that through your profile in every aspect.
    If you want a hook-up, maybe that flattering beach body pic from three years ago might be the perfect profile picture. If you want a series of dates with someone who is serious about yourself, maybe just another set of pictures showing you on things you like, with a profile text about roleplaying games, and some more mainstream stuff.

    2) Choose your words carefully, for written communication looses a lot of non-verbal cues.
    Intonation, facial expressions and gestures are not a part of any dating chat. Plus you need a good sense of people (and in many cases, luck and/or a crystal ball) not to be coming on too strong while not patiently waiting until your chat partner finds someone else. (Believe me I have done both. Apparently waiting 3 months to make your move is too slow.)

    3) Be yourself goddamnit, but don't drown the other person in your personality.
    We are predominantly roleplayers here. While we are not actors, most of us know we are a wide variety of personalities. My work personality is nonchalant and professional. My personality with friends is raunchy and sarcastic. My personality with acquaintances and family is unassuming and polite. Stick with a safe one and gradually add in more personality traits.

    4) Don't just talk about yourself.
    This is actually the most important one. And if you only chat about yourself, this is a surefire way to realize someone is not into you. Maybe a hookup can still happen, but there is no way they want to meet you only to continue to talk about themselves for another hour or two.

    Take my tips with caution as I am 30+ and still single. However most of these are perceived things of why I could've failed before.

  6. - Top - End - #36
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Samba Mentality's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    The Deep Blue

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    First off, I would like to say that it is entirely possible to find your true love online! No judgment for online daters.

    I have a couple problems with online dating.

    A) By using an online dating platform, you are browsing other people as amenities or products, looking at all their best qualities, like shopping on Amazon, while having never met them in person or knowing their flaws. It dehumanizes the humans participating.

    B) Two people can be completely compatible and fall in love without having any hobbies or personality traits in common. By searching for that one person by only looking among those who share that one thing with you, you might be overlooking your soul mate!

    Sorry if that sounded aggressive or rant-y, I have what you could call an RBF for writing.
    Last edited by Samba Mentality; 2020-03-02 at 01:29 PM.


    GENERATION 18: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig and add 1 to the generation. This is a social experiment.

    DEGENERATION 94: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

    Check out my artwork here!

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba Mentality View Post
    First off, I would like to say that it is entirely possible to find your true love online! No judgment for online daters.

    I have a couple problems with online dating.

    A) By using an online dating platform, you are browsing other people as amenities or products, looking at all their best qualities, like shopping on Amazon, while having never met them in person or knowing their flaws. It dehumanizes the humans participating.

    B) Two people can be completely compatible and fall in love without having any hobbies or personality traits in common. By searching for that one person by only looking among those who share that one thing with you, you might be overlooking your soul mate!

    Sorry if that sounded aggressive or rant-y, I have what you could call an RBF for writing.
    I would say it dehumanizes people far less than something like trying to pick someone up at a bar or club would. I mean the only thing getting you the approach at all in those cases is the observable attractiveness of the person. At least with a dating profile you can get a feel of what they like DOING as well as how physically attractive they are.

    Soul mates or some "one perfect person" for each individual is nonsense so the second point is kinda irrelevant. And frankly you can still look through dating profiles just looking at the pictures if you want to try meeting someone even if their interests don't match yours.

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Dragon in the Playground Moderator
     
    Peelee's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba Mentality View Post
    By using an online dating platform, you are browsing other people as amenities or products, looking at all their best qualities, like shopping on Amazon, while having never met them in person or knowing their flaws. It dehumanizes the humans participating.
    I would argue that most people trying to date, regardless of medium, highlight their best qualities, hide their worst, and possibly even act better than they normally do.
    The Mod on the Silver Mountain avatars by the wonderfully talented Cuthalion!

    If anyone has a crayon drawing they would like to put on the Kickstarter Reward Collection Thread, PM me.
    Spoiler: Avatar collection
    Show
    Spoiler: Come down with fire
    Show
    Spoiler: Lift my spirit higher
    Show
    Spoiler: Someone's screaming my name
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Your bread looks like a rotary phone.
    This right here, is some prime quality culinary critique.

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lizardfolk

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    I would argue that most people trying to date, regardless of medium, highlight their best qualities, hide their worst, and possibly even act better than they normally do.
    Except for the ghosting and D picks. The Internet makes us all more extreme I think, both better and worse.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    Vibranium: If it was on the periodic table, its chemical symbol would be "Bs".

  10. - Top - End - #40
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    Except for the ghosting and D picks. The Internet makes us all more extreme I think, both better and worse.
    People ghosted way before the Internet existed. I'll grant the D pics were far less common before the internet though.

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lizardfolk

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    People ghosted way before the Internet existed. I'll grant the D pics were far less common before the internet though.
    Almost everything from the Internet existed before it. Doesn't mean it hasn't increased the rate and intensity of those things. Ghosting used to be much less common, it is quite literally the norm now.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Glyphstone View Post
    Vibranium: If it was on the periodic table, its chemical symbol would be "Bs".

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2017

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    Almost everything from the Internet existed before it. Doesn't mean it hasn't increased the rate and intensity of those things. Ghosting used to be much less common, it is quite literally the norm now.
    People use "ghosting" to mean different things. Are you talking about having them fall off after a few dates (in which case that happens when everybody feels spoiled for options), or about going from a relationship to falling off the planet? The latter absolutely happened pre-internet, and the only thing that made it less likely was that you often dated people with overlapping social circles which made it harder to just up and vanish. The major difference was opportunity, not character. (Similarly, unexpected intimate photos are only more common because everybody has devices that can quickly capture, send, and receive pictures on the fly. Jokes about things like cutting a hole in the bottom of the popcorn show that the outlook was always there, the opportunities were just lacking.)

    And considering that we're all spending our time talking to strangers on a forum instead of our close-knit group of friends, it's safe to say that norms enforced by smaller, tighter social circles are on their way out.

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Tinder is designed and intended for hook ups. Trying to use it to find real relstionships is like trying to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail into the wall... You can do it, if you really want to... But it'll take a lot of extra time and effort. And you probably still won't end up with the best result.

    That said, most dating apps are kinda useless anyway. Too many people use it for validation or commercial transactions rather than for their intended purpose.
    Homebrew Stuff:

  14. - Top - End - #44
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

    Join Date
    Aug 2013

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemmy View Post
    Tinder is designed and intended for hook ups. Trying to use it to find real relstionships is like trying to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail into the wall... You can do it, if you really want to... But it'll take a lot of extra time and effort. And you probably still won't end up with the best result.

    That said, most dating apps are kinda useless anyway. Too many people use it for validation or commercial transactions rather than for their intended purpose.
    If we want to be cynic, aren't dating apps and the like effectively predicated on the idea that you don't find someone and keep looking. I.e. the intended purpose is to siphon fees or advertising income off people for as long as possible. As far as I know such sites/apps don't get paid on their success rate of creaintg lasting and meaningful relationships.

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Switzerland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Knight View Post
    I miss the old days when all you needed were friends who knew people and a party.
    Well, as someone who has neither friends nor has ever been to a party...

    (Okay, that's not true. I have a handful of very good friends. But not friends who know available singles, I'd take any bet. Most of them have probably never had a relationship either, and they are in their thirties. And they also never go to parties, at least not parties that don't involve no more than six people and at least three board games.)
    Last edited by Eldan; 2020-03-03 at 04:49 AM.
    "Après la vie - le mort, après le mort, la vie de noveau.
    Après le monde - le gris; après le gris - le monde de nouveau.
    "

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemmy View Post
    Tinder is designed and intended for hook ups. Trying to use it to find real relstionships is like trying to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail into the wall... You can do it, if you really want to... But it'll take a lot of extra time and effort. And you probably still won't end up with the best result.

    That said, most dating apps are kinda useless anyway. Too many people use it for validation or commercial transactions rather than for their intended purpose.
    I found my wife on Tinder. Like, the first date I managed to get through the app. 100% success rate. 5/5 would do again.

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rydiro View Post
    I found my wife on Tinder. Like, the first date I managed to get through the app. 100% success rate. 5/5 would do again.
    And some people win millions of dollars in the lottery. Doesn't mean it's a good financial plan.
    Last edited by Lemmy; 2020-03-03 at 04:03 PM.
    Homebrew Stuff:

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Scarlet Knight's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hudson Valley, NY
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    I would say it dehumanizes people far less than something like trying to pick someone up at a bar or club would. I mean the only thing getting you the approach at all in those cases is the observable attractiveness of the person. At least with a dating profile you can get a feel of what they like DOING as well as how physically attractive they are.
    Judging a potential mate by attractiveness is the most human thing there is; it is how it's been done for over 10 thousand years...it's how we're designed. Modified, of course, by our standards adjusting to our needs.

    Where you see that person also plays into "what they like doing" as you will usually meet them in a place where you both want to be, whether rocking or praying. Still you need to enhance your odds. Avoid the Game Shop where the male:female ratio is 10-1 and consider that Zumba class .

    Sadly, even with all my years, I don't have a really tried and true method. I was set up with my wife. My one son met his wife at college. My other son met his online, and my daughter met her fiance at the firehouse delivering food to her brother.
    “A long surcote of pers upon he hade, / And by his syde he baar a rusty blade.” - Chaucer

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemmy View Post
    And some people win millions of dollars in the lottery. Doesn't mean it's a good financial plan.
    Unlike the lottery, it doesn't cost much.
    Perhaps there is a different consumer base where i live. A friend of ours also found her current bf there. And they seem like a solid couple.
    I agree that you should try other stuff too. Diversifying your financial plan, so to speak.

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rydiro View Post
    Unlike the lottery, it doesn't cost much.
    Perhaps there is a different consumer base where i live. A friend of ours also found her current bf there. And they seem like a solid couple.
    I agree that you should try other stuff too. Diversifying your financial plan, so to speak.
    Lotto tickets are under 10 bucks, since when are you spending under bucks for a first date.
    My Avatar is Glimtwizzle, a Gnomish Fighter/Illusionist by Cuthalion.

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Dragon in the Playground Moderator
     
    Peelee's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by AMFV View Post
    Lotto tickets are under 10 bucks, since when are you spending under bucks for a first date.
    Go to a park with a fountain with a roll of pennies. Take turns tossing one in to make a wish.

    Both people get to learn things about the other that otherwise wouldn't come up in normal conversation, each wish can be a conversation starter, each wish has the potential to be a joke instead, you spend the afternoon talking with the person where both sides are, by necessity, engaging in conversation to some degree.

    Memorable first date on half a dollar.
    The Mod on the Silver Mountain avatars by the wonderfully talented Cuthalion!

    If anyone has a crayon drawing they would like to put on the Kickstarter Reward Collection Thread, PM me.
    Spoiler: Avatar collection
    Show
    Spoiler: Come down with fire
    Show
    Spoiler: Lift my spirit higher
    Show
    Spoiler: Someone's screaming my name
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    Your bread looks like a rotary phone.
    This right here, is some prime quality culinary critique.

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rydiro View Post
    Unlike the lottery, it doesn't cost much.
    Perhaps there is a different consumer base where i live. A friend of ours also found her current bf there. And they seem like a solid couple.
    I agree that you should try other stuff too. Diversifying your financial plan, so to speak.
    You could get a free lottery ticket every week, and it still wouldn't be a good idea to rely on it for your finances...

    In any case, my only point is that Tinder isn't designed or intended for finding serious relationships. It can be used for that, but it's not the best tool around.

    I have used screwdriver as improvised hammers many times (just hold it by the pointy end and hit the nail with the handle). It's clearly possible. It clearly did the job... But it clearly wasn't the optimal choice.
    Last edited by Lemmy; 2020-04-03 at 02:31 AM. Reason: Typos

  23. - Top - End - #53
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: Online Dating Venting (Somewhat Risque, Read At Your Own Peril)

    Quote Originally Posted by AMFV View Post
    Lotto tickets are under 10 bucks, since when are you spending under bucks for a first date.
    I honestly enjoyed every date I went to, even the ones that didn't work out.

    I feel like getting a date is a win in the lottery. You meet a new and interesting person. You have a good time. You have a good chance that things proceed.

    A positive attitude absolutely helps.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •