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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    The Cats's Avatar

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    Default Universal Laws of the Playground

    As in tongue-in-cheek laws of thermodynamics rather than suggestions for proper etiquette.

    First Law of the First Responder
    If you post a question the first response will be completely unhelpful and will go on at length about why they are being unhelpful. This is especially true in the RPG forums.

    eg "Where can I find the racial traits for kenku?"
    "Don't play kenku. If you play kenku your friends will hate you, your parent will disown you, and your neighbour will burn down your house." (but stretched out to 1,348 words)

    First Law of Long Threads
    If a thread goes past 10 pages anywhere other than friendly banter, it will at some point be locked by mods "for review." It will only be unlocked (if at all) when at least 5% of the comments within have been scrubbed.

    Second Law of the First Responder
    If you post an idea in any of the RPG forums, regardless of your specified intent in posting, the first responder will interpret it as you asking them to completely rewrite it using their own idea. If you do not agree that their idea is superior they will roll their eyes and make a numbered list of the reasons you are wrong. The amount of time and effort you put in to the idea is inversely proportional to how much of the original post the first responder will read before deciding they could do it better.

    If your post is in the homebrew forum, all of the responses will be like this.

    First law of Play-By-Post
    Your game will not reach a satisfying conclusion. Ever.


    What other universal laws of the Playground are there?
    BokaliMali
    Catatar By Sensate
    Shoop-da-Whoop

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Troll in the Playground
     
    DataNinja's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Every thread will eventually devolve into Star Wars. Yes, even that one.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Orc in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    All threads in the Friendly Banter forum eventually devolve into a Random Banter thread.

    Or die with 2 replies.
    Last edited by Sermil; 2020-03-30 at 08:25 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    hmwd's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Does that mean that this thread will devolve into Star Wars?

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    The Cats's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    I love Star Wars! Who's your favourite jedi?
    BokaliMali
    Catatar By Sensate
    Shoop-da-Whoop

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Vinyadan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by DataNinja View Post
    Every thread will eventually devolve into Star Wars. Yes, even that one.
    Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

    What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly, and the Playground calls Mookie.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful ó but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Archmage in the Playground Moderator
     
    truemane's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    The Inflexible Formula of Front-Loaded Fun
    No one responding to your recruitment thread for a high-level game actually reads your cool story pitch, or even wants to play your game. They just want to make a character. Even assuming you can cobble together enough finished sheets to make a party, everyone will drift off before the first scene is done.
    Tarot-Mage-atar by Cuthalion, may their updates be ever-compatible.

    If you need me to address something as a moderator, please include a link.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    For at least third edition, no martial character can ever compete with a caster.
    Spoiler: In other words...
    Show
    That's all I can think of, at any rate.

    Quote Originally Posted by remetagross View Post
    All hail the mighty Strigon! One only has to ask, and one shall receive.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Chimera

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    For the Webcomic section, one doesn't bother commenting unless the webcomic is one you used to like, but is clearly showing age or creator inability to accomplish what they are attempting, and you are mostly only still viewing out of a weird sense of loyalty/wanting to see something through.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Rockphed's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie the Duck View Post
    For the Webcomic section, one doesn't bother commenting unless the webcomic is one you used to like, but is clearly showing age or creator inability to accomplish what they are attempting, and you are mostly only still viewing out of a weird sense of loyalty/wanting to see something through.
    See the dominic deegan threads 3 - 32.

    And I don't know what section of the board the OP is reading, but I can't even remember the last thread I commented in that got locked for review.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yuki Akuma View Post
    We should change the collective noun for crocodiles to "an abundance of crocodiles".
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    You will find yourself writing half a reply or thread and then proof-read it to decide it's not funny enough or important enough to comment, and you just wasted 10 minutes writing it. Then proceed to find the context of what you wroght posted by someone else.

    Please help/contribute in creating the: Complete list of Magically Created Constructs, Elementals etc

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    I was going to invoke the law of inevitable Star Wars, but the thread beat me to it.

    No matter how random and nonsensical a query is in the 'Realistic Weapons and Armour Question' thread , someone will know and be able to give detailed helpful replies.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    kinglinus1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    First Law of Laws Any thread dealing with the laws of the playground will inevitably descend into arguments about what is true and false.
    A diamond necklace played the pawn
    Hand in hand some drummed along, oh
    To a handsome man and baton (Bygone, bygone)
    A blind class aristocracy
    Back through the opera glass you see
    The pit and the pendulum drawn (Bygone, bygone)
    Columnated ruins domino

    My avatar was made by a very lovely chap by the name of smutmulch. That was very cool of them.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Chimera

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by kinglinus1 View Post
    First Law of Laws Any thread dealing with the laws of the playground will inevitably descend into arguments about what is true and false.
    I disagree.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    kinglinus1's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie the Duck View Post
    I disagree.
    Let us say, I post something on this thread, right? Let us say, hypothetically I post something on this thread. No, given that I post something on this thread, would you not hypothetically, end up disagreeing? No that we have established that we will end up disagreeing, would it not logically follow that we would end up arguing?
    A diamond necklace played the pawn
    Hand in hand some drummed along, oh
    To a handsome man and baton (Bygone, bygone)
    A blind class aristocracy
    Back through the opera glass you see
    The pit and the pendulum drawn (Bygone, bygone)
    Columnated ruins domino

    My avatar was made by a very lovely chap by the name of smutmulch. That was very cool of them.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by kinglinus1 View Post
    Let us say, I post something on this thread, right? Let us say, hypothetically I post something on this thread. No, given that I post something on this thread, would you not hypothetically, end up disagreeing? No that we have established that we will end up disagreeing, would it not logically follow that we would end up arguing?
    Look, an argument is a collective series of statements to establish a definite proposition; it isn't just disagreement.
    That's all I can think of, at any rate.

    Quote Originally Posted by remetagross View Post
    All hail the mighty Strigon! One only has to ask, and one shall receive.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    1. As the length of a build suggestion thread increases, the chance for a respondent completely missing a source restriction approaches 1.
    1a. The curve is steeper if the OP is edited.

    2. If the build requester neglects to post source restrictions, elements from the prohibited source will be included in every suggestion until this is corrected in the OP. (See 1a for consequences).

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Quote Originally Posted by Strigon View Post
    Look, an argument is a collective series of statements to establish a definite proposition; it isn't just disagreement.
    No it isn't.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
    Alas, poor Cookie
    The world needs more platypi
    I wish you could be


    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari
    Also this isnít D&D, flaming the troll doesnít help either.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    Anything a mundane can do magic can do better
    Get your physics out of my D&D!

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGirl

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    Default Re: Universal Laws of the Playground

    An exemption to threads going 10 pages before getting locked:

    Law of Conservation of Whining
    A post can comfortably go longer than 10 pages if it is a thread discussing how rules can be dumb. See RAW threads, Dysfunctional Threads, LA Re-Write threads, and my dead thread in my sig. RIP
    Quote Originally Posted by Petrocorus View Post
    This thread, Questions that can't be answered... Answered by RAW by No brains, is Epic.
    Quote Originally Posted by illyahr View Post
    That is so stupid it's hilarious.
    Quote Originally Posted by georgie_leech View Post
    ...I've clearly been playing D&D for too long, because that made a demented kind of sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by that_one_kobold View Post
    And this is why I love D&D

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