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Thread: Universal Laws of the Playground
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2020-03-30, 05:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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Universal Laws of the Playground
As in tongue-in-cheek laws of thermodynamics rather than suggestions for proper etiquette.
First Law of the First Responder
If you post a question the first response will be completely unhelpful and will go on at length about why they are being unhelpful. This is especially true in the RPG forums.
eg "Where can I find the racial traits for kenku?"
"Don't play kenku. If you play kenku your friends will hate you, your parent will disown you, and your neighbour will burn down your house." (but stretched out to 1,348 words)
First Law of Long Threads
If a thread goes past 10 pages anywhere other than friendly banter, it will at some point be locked by mods "for review." It will only be unlocked (if at all) when at least 5% of the comments within have been scrubbed.
Second Law of the First Responder
If you post an idea in any of the RPG forums, regardless of your specified intent in posting, the first responder will interpret it as you asking them to completely rewrite it using their own idea. If you do not agree that their idea is superior they will roll their eyes and make a numbered list of the reasons you are wrong. The amount of time and effort you put in to the idea is inversely proportional to how much of the original post the first responder will read before deciding they could do it better.
If your post is in the homebrew forum, all of the responses will be like this.
First law of Play-By-Post
Your game will not reach a satisfying conclusion. Ever.
What other universal laws of the Playground are there?BokaliMali
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Shoop-da-Whoop
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2020-03-30, 05:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
Every thread will eventually devolve into Star Wars. Yes, even that one.
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2020-03-30, 06:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
All threads in the Friendly Banter forum eventually devolve into a Random Banter thread.
Or die with 2 replies.Last edited by Sermil; 2020-03-30 at 08:25 PM.
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2020-03-30, 09:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
Does that mean that this thread will devolve into Star Wars?
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2020-03-30, 09:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
I love Star Wars! Who's your favourite jedi?
BokaliMali
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Shoop-da-Whoop
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2020-03-30, 09:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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2020-04-09, 10:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
The Inflexible Formula of Front-Loaded Fun
No one responding to your recruitment thread for a high-level game actually reads your cool story pitch, or even wants to play your game. They just want to make a character. Even assuming you can cobble together enough finished sheets to make a party, everyone will drift off before the first scene is done.(Avatar by Cuthalion, who is great.)
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2020-04-09, 10:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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2020-04-10, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2015
Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
For the Webcomic section, one doesn't bother commenting unless the webcomic is one you used to like, but is clearly showing age or creator inability to accomplish what they are attempting, and you are mostly only still viewing out of a weird sense of loyalty/wanting to see something through.
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2020-04-13, 09:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
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2020-04-13, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2015
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
You will find yourself writing half a reply or thread and then proof-read it to decide it's not funny enough or important enough to comment, and you just wasted 10 minutes writing it. Then proceed to find the context of what you wroght posted by someone else.
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2020-04-14, 03:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2013
Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
I was going to invoke the law of inevitable Star Wars, but the thread beat me to it.
No matter how random and nonsensical a query is in the 'Realistic Weapons and Armour Question' thread , someone will know and be able to give detailed helpful replies.
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2020-04-16, 05:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2017
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
First Law of Laws Any thread dealing with the laws of the playground will inevitably descend into arguments about what is true and false.
A diamond necklace played the pawn
Hand in hand some drummed along, oh
To a handsome man and baton (Bygone, bygone)
A blind class aristocracy
Back through the opera glass you see
The pit and the pendulum drawn (Bygone, bygone)
Columnated ruins domino
My avatar was made by a very lovely chap by the name of smutmulch. That was very cool of them.
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2020-04-17, 07:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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2020-04-17, 07:27 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2017
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- Home, as is the law.
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
Let us say, I post something on this thread, right? Let us say, hypothetically I post something on this thread. No, given that I post something on this thread, would you not hypothetically, end up disagreeing? No that we have established that we will end up disagreeing, would it not logically follow that we would end up arguing?
A diamond necklace played the pawn
Hand in hand some drummed along, oh
To a handsome man and baton (Bygone, bygone)
A blind class aristocracy
Back through the opera glass you see
The pit and the pendulum drawn (Bygone, bygone)
Columnated ruins domino
My avatar was made by a very lovely chap by the name of smutmulch. That was very cool of them.
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2020-04-17, 08:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2014
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- Ontario, Canada
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2020-04-17, 08:22 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Wandering in Harrekh
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
1. As the length of a build suggestion thread increases, the chance for a respondent completely missing a source restriction approaches 1.
1a. The curve is steeper if the OP is edited.
2. If the build requester neglects to post source restrictions, elements from the prohibited source will be included in every suggestion until this is corrected in the OP. (See 1a for consequences).
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2020-04-18, 02:55 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2014
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?
Free haiku !
Alas, poor Cookie
The world needs more platypi
I wish you could be
Originally Posted by Fyraltari
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2020-05-19, 02:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
Anything a mundane can do magic can do better
Get your physics out of my D&D!
Proudly Chaotic
Optimism is delusion pessimism will save the world
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2020-05-28, 06:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
An exemption to threads going 10 pages before getting locked:
Law of Conservation of Whining
A post can comfortably go longer than 10 pages if it is a thread discussing how rules can be dumb. See RAW threads, Dysfunctional Threads, LA Re-Write threads, and my dead thread in my sig. RIP
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2020-06-21, 09:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2019
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
First Law of Balance threads
HAHAHAHA FOOL! you thought there would be a rule here!! Nothing will be balanced and all things are more overpowered than everything else!! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Also that everything can be overpowered if nuanced enough.
(THis rule is exempted by the non caster martials and rangers which are always underpowered.)
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2020-06-21, 10:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2015
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2020-06-24, 04:03 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Universal Laws of the Playground
First Law of threads about Star Wars: While every thread of sufficient length becomes one about Star Wars, threads that start about Star Wars become about Tolkien or medieval carpentry.
First Law of 2D8HP's posts:
For almost any thread that I have contributed more than two post in I will write "Well, back in the '80's" as part of a post.
Second Law of 2D8HP's posts: If the majority of posts in a thread slam 5e D&D I will argue how great it is.
Third Law of 2D8HP's posts: If the majority of posts argue how great 5e D&D is, I will praise TSR D&D instead.
Fourth Law of 2D8HP's posts: I didn't see that movie, unless it was at a theater back in the '80's