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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Red Fang
    A blade in the dark, a stalking pariah, a murdering thief. Those who serve the Orcish deity of stealth and darkness, Shargaas, are commonly called Red Fangs. They assist, steal and spy in the name of the shadowed god as well as their tribe, using both physical training and modest divine magic. Red Fangs are commonly regarded as dishonourable pariahs by their kin.

    Acolyte of Blades
    When you choose this archetype at 3rd level, you gain proficiency in the Religion and Intimidation skills if you don’t already have it. If you already have either of these you may select another from the list of proficiencies offered to rogues at level 1. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of those proficiencies.

    Chiropteran Stalker
    Starting at 3rd level, on your turn you may create a dim red glow in a 10 feet radius around you. Creatures are blinded as long as they are within this radius, unless they can see through magical darkness. The glow lasts for 2 rounds and can be summoned up to a number of times equaling half your proficiency modifier rounded down. Additionally, your vision is no longer impeded by magical darkness.

    Cell Operations
    At 9th level, your control over the dark gifts of Shargaas increases significantly. Your allies' vision is no longer impeded by the magical darkness generated specifically by you, although other sources still affect them.

    Wards of Darkness
    At 13th level, your bond with Shargaas grows to the extent that you can use your reaction to grant a creature you can see within 40 ft defence against an incoming attack by shrouding them in a brief flash of darkness, giving the incoming attack disadvantage.

    Fangs of Shargaas
    Beginning at 17th level, you can channel the aspect of Shargaas’ beloved bats by embodying their vampiric aspect. When you land a melee attack you can choose to heal an amount totalling the damage inflicted, or alternatively gain temporary hit points equal to a quarter of the damage inflicted. Once you do so, you can’t use this feature again until you finish a short or long rest.
    Last edited by Aodh; 2020-05-22 at 03:28 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Acolyte of Blades should offer something if you already have proficiency in those skills-probably just a free skill pick.

    Chiropteran Stalker is not worded clearly. I cannot comment on it in its current state.

    Cell Operations looks good.

    Wards of Darkness-does it mean force disadvantage on the attack roll? Because that feels fine.

    Fangs looks fine.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    Chiropteran Stalker is not worded clearly. I cannot comment on it in its current state.
    Does this read any better?

    Starting at 3rd level, you gain the supernatural blessings of Shaargas. Your vision is no longer impeded by magical darkness.

    You may use a bonus action to summon an aura of darkness with a radius of 10 feet around you. This aura functions similarly to the darkness spell and only effects creatures in the radius, appearing merely as a dim red glow to those outside of it. The aura persists for two rounds.

    You may summon the aura a number of times equal to half of your proficiency modifier per short rest.
    Last edited by Aodh; 2020-05-22 at 12:06 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #4
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    How does it only affect creatures? That's the part that's confusing to me.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    How does it only affect creatures? That's the part that's confusing to me.
    It’s intended to function exactly like the magical darkness of the darkness spell, but shrunk to 10 feet radius and stuck to the rogue. Do have any tips for phrasing it?

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    NinjaGuy

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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by Aodh View Post
    It’s intended to function exactly like the magical darkness of the darkness spell, but shrunk to 10 feet radius and stuck to the rogue. Do have any tips for phrasing it?
    Starting at 3rd level, on your turn you may create a dim red glow in a 10 feet radius around you. Creatures are blinded as long as they are within this radius, unless they can see through magical darkness. The glow lasts for 2 rounds and can be summoned up to a number of times equaling half your proficiency modifier (rounded up? down?). Additionally, your vision is no longer impeded by magical darkness.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by Frozenstep View Post
    Starting at 3rd level, on your turn you may create a dim red glow in a 10 feet radius around you. Creatures are blinded as long as they are within this radius, unless they can see through magical darkness. The glow lasts for 2 rounds and can be summoned up to a number of times equaling half your proficiency modifier (rounded up? down?). Additionally, your vision is no longer impeded by magical darkness.
    Thank you so much! I really appreciate the help.

  8. - Top - End - #8
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    Default Re: Red Fang - Orcish Themed Rogue Archetype - Feedback Appreciated

    Okay. With that cleared up, there's only one issue: Chiropteran Stalker doesn't specify whether it comes back on a short or long rest.

    I would definitely make it long rest.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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