Fyraltari watches The Clone Wars (2008) for the first time

[Lord Vukodlak]

I don't think cosmetic eye coloration tech is a stretch in the SW universe. Probably a booming business started centuries ago by Darth Practical to hide his glowing yellow eyes in public.

Also the Kaminoans would often tweak the genetics of various batches of clones to see what produced a better solider. Minor variations in hair and eye color could result.

[Fyraltari]

Season 3, Episode 9: Hunt for Ziro

Spoiler: Recap

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This is a follow-up to the last season's finale because that clearly is the most important dangling plot thread right now. Obi-Wan is meeting with a Jedi Knight called Quinlan Vos on Coruscant to pursue Bane and Ziro. Kenobi tells Cody that Vos is crazy and his point is immediately proven by Vos choosing to jump off the dropship that has to land anyway to the platform rather than walk like a normal person. Cody rolls his eyes so hard you can tell he's doing it even though he wears a helmet. This is his only contribution to the episode. Obi-Wan thinks Bane kidnapped Ziro for Jabba as payback for his trying to kill Jabba's son in the pilot movie, however Vos has intel (somehow) that Ziro has dirt on the "Hutt Council" so they're probably behind this. The two of them depart for Nal Hutta to talk to said council.

Quinlan Vos is right as said council, made up of representatives of the five biggest Hutt crime families and lead by Gardulla the Hutt (I think she was a rival of Jabba's in Legends?), only got Ziro out because he keeps an holo-diary of all their criminal activities. And he claims that if he dies the diary will go public. They still throw him in jail. Then they have a party. Full of half-naked twi'lek dancers wearing face concealing masks designed to look like hutt heads. I think it's better not to question that. The lead singer isn't a twi'lek but Sy Snootle, the frog/giraffe/fly hybrid from RotJ. Once she learns that the hutts' happy mood is due to Ziro being locked up in the dungeons she makes an excuse and leave. She reaches the cell block, trick the gamorrean guards into fighting ("Gardulla wants to know which one of you is the strongest"), and talks with Ziro. Apparently the two were lovers, but he ditched her (he says Jabba made him do it), he convinces here to help him escape and they kiss. I know someone somewhere is enjoying that image, and good for them, but that isn't me.

Our two Jedi reach Nal Hutta and Quinlan antagonizes the hutts right off the bat. fortunately Obi-Wan reins him in (Gardulla even says that they would have killed Vos otherwise). The council denies any knowledge of Ziro's whereabouts. However touching a glass discarded by Ziro earlier grants Vos a vision of Ziro and he confirms his presence to Obi-Wan. They find the cell block and the unconscious (dead?) guards, conclude that Ziro has had help and leave. Cad Bane reveals that he has been in the palace this entire time and watching the Jedi from afar. The hutts hire him to find Ziro and the diary.

Ziro and Sy stop at "the one place Gardulla won't look for me." His mother's. Sure. Why not. So we get a deadbeat son/verbally abusive mother scene before he can get her spaceship to escape Gardulla's wrath. The Jedi are tracking him on foot, through the swamp, no idea how that works. Obi-Wan fights a random snake. They bicker. Bane just flies by as he heads directly to Ziro's mom. The Jedi get there. Vos breaks the door which appals Obi-Wan just as much as me. Mrs Desilijic says Bane forced the destination of her son out of her, so she tells the Jedi as well to protect him, I think? They leave without paying for the door. This attitude is why the Republic turned on you, guys.

Ziro and Sy land on some random planet where they find Ziro's father's grave. He never told his mother the man was dead because some people are happier miserable. He retrieves the diary from the grave and Sy shoots him down for breaking her heart.

Spoiler: Yayy.

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Bane arrives and notes that Ziro is dead and the diary missing (how did he even know it was supposed to be there?). But then arrive the Jedi, they first think he did it, but he says the kill is too sloppy to be his handiwork, which they accept. But they decide to take him in since, you know, also a wanted criminal on the run from the law. Bane retorts that the Seppies buy Jedi severed heads 1 million credits apiece [insert Dr. Evil meme here]. They have a fight scene. Bane escapes. Obi-Wan makes a pun about how much he dislikes teaming up with Quinlan Vos. Turns out Sy Snootles was hired to retrieve the diary by Jabba.

Spoiler: My thoughts

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This episode is bad. It's the worst of the season so far and, hopefully, its absolute nadir. This is the b... least worse Ziro got so far, and that's due in no small part to the fact that he freaking dies in it. Good riddance. Bane is clearly only there so that the Jedi have someone to fight at the end but since this fight is completely irrelevant to the rest of the episode it completely failed to get me interested. It's pretty blatant that this fight and the snake one are only there to fill a quota. The Jedi themselves are only there because we gotta have Jedi in there somewhere as they accomplish nil throughout the episode. Quinlan Vos is a poor man's Anakin having pretty much the same "reckless" dickish personnality. Obi-wan even calls him crazy. Gotta watch that one in case he starts dressing in all black and making weird speeches about new powers and stuff. He does have one interesting quirk though: the power of psychometry deserves to be featured more prominently than it is in this universe, I just hope they find something more interesting to use it (and him) on. Also this takes place after the last season finale, which itself happened after the beginning of this season (raising the question of how Bane managed to slip through Coruscant's customs security after having antagonized the Jedi like that) but Bane has To-Do with him even though he blew him up in the beginning of the season, what the hell?

I've already watched the next one and, thankfully, it's way better.

[Peelee]

Don't forget that since these aren't in chronological order, the mere fact that Ziro is dead does not mean you won't see him again!

Spoiler

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Although yes, you won't see him again.

[Fyraltari]

[Insert Merovingian's curse rant from The Matrix reloaded here]

[moossabi]

...Hunt for Ziro is season three episode nine.

Normally I would be wondering how on earth that happened, but the fact that you landed on one of the worst episodes of the series is condolence-worthy.

So, my condolences that you landed on it by mistake.

[Fyraltari]

...Hunt for Ziro is season three episode nine.

Normally I would be wondering how on earth that happened, but the fact that you landed on one of the worst episodes of the series is condolence-worthy.

So, my condolences that you landed on it by mistake.

*headdesk*

So it is. I must have clicked on the wrong icon when selecting the season I wanted to watch from (they all use the same picture on that website!).

[DataNinja]

I mean, really… is it Star Wars if you don't get the later parts before the earlier ones at some point?

[Fyraltari]

Season 2, Episode 9: Grievous Intrigue for real this time.

Spoiler: Recap

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The narrator informs us that it's a diabolical deafeat: the Republic is winning! ... What?

Anyways, Grievous and a party of droids are boarding a Republic cruiser led by Jedi Master Eeth Koth. The general postures for a bit (during which no clone takes a shot at him despite him standing still two meters in front of them with his hands behind his back for a while) and Koth calls him a coward and a murderer, then he retorts that it's not murder to kill Jedi. Are we sure he's a kaleesh and not a kaled? Koth can manage commando droids but Grievous and his magnaguards beat him into submission. Grievous then calls the Jedi council to gloat about having captured a Master of the Council and rants that he doesn't care about politics or the war, he only wants to kill Jedi. But he's going to drag Koth's death to make it painful. Yoda wants the younglings to leave the room so that the grownups can talk. Who thought it'd be a good idea to have younglings present when the jedi-hunter called? One of Plo Koon's clones noticed that Koth was making hand signals during the call telling them to go to the Saleucami system. Anakin and Obi-Wan volunteer to go there as do a Jedi called Gallia (that I know thanks to the closing credits her name isn't pronounced once in the episode. The hell?).

Obi-Wan plan is simple, Anakin and Gallia will infiltrate Grievous' flagship while he draws Grievous aboard his and captures him. He is confident Grievous will come for him personally because they have a history. They do? I feel like Grievous fought Anakin more than Obi-wan, but okay. Grievous arrives on orbit of Saleucami and order a landing but is interrupted by the arrival of Kenobi. The general takes the bait but orders his subordinate to watch for Skywalker who is never far behind Kenobi. Anakin is in a shuttle with Gallia, Rex and a couple clones. they come out of Hyperspace almost ontop of Grievous's ship ('coz Hyperspace jumps can be this precise I guess) and attach themselves upside down relative to it. Despite the fact that they have artificial gravity, Gallia's hair/tendrils/thingie fall up. Anakin's hair however is unperturbed. How much gel does he use? Grievous has reached Obi-Wan and their fight starts pretty much identical to the one with Koth, with Kenobi taking out the commando but struggling against Grievous and his bodyguards. Turns out however that Grievous had foreseen Obi-Wan's plan and Koth is guarded by eight commando droids. Seriously? You expect Anakin and left only eight commando droids and one tactical droid to fend him off? The tactical droid has a remote in his arm that can fry Koth so Anakin cuts the arm. The droid picks it up during the fight with his other arm but find he can't press the button while using his arm to hold his arm and is destroyed. Kenobi and Grievous banter for a bit. Kenobi wants to know what Grievous gains in all this "a futile quest for power? His place as Dooku's errand boy?" Grievous doesn't care about that and says he's the leader of the greatest droid army ever, Obi-Wan replies that the droids have no loyalty beyond their programming. Grievous states that he's working for a future without Jedi. However he flees when it becomes clear that he's losing the duel.

Obi-Wan orders the pilots to disconnect the two ships but the duel damaged the controls beyond repair. He also warns Skywalker that Grievous is headed back. Gallia goes to confront him while Skywalker brings the limping Koth to the shuttle. grievous orders his droid to open fire on the Republic ship (even though he's still aboard) and to commence deployment on the planet below, and he fights his way past some clones and into his own ship. Gallia and Kenobi fail to stop him and he wants to pursue but Gallia points out that the the ships are separated and they are on Grievous's, if they don't make it to Skywalker's shuttle they will be trapped. They do so and leave at the same time as Grievous who went inside one of those troop carriers from TPM. Kenobi's ship explodes. The good guy make it back to the Resolute and report their half-victory: one prisoner rescued, one target escaped. Kenobi orders Anakin to command the space battle while Gallia brings Koth to the space hospital and he pursues Grievous himself. Anakin asks if he's sure he can manage and Obi-Wan acts offended. Like, you've just failed this very mission, Obi-Wan, you don't get to act like Anakin is being unfair here. Koth says he would have gladly given his life if that had meant capturing Grievous but Anakin says that, at least, they all lived to fight another day, right? This cements the fact that Anakin doesn't consider the clones to be people since a whole shipful just died like two minutes prior.

Spoiler: My thoughts

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]While this is far from being as bad as the other ninth episode, it isn't good either. They clearly didn't have enough plot for a 22-minute episode so they plugged in as many fights as they possibly could to make up for it and it end up feeling like a long fight scene. One that ends up in the same situation the episode began. That said there aren't any glaring flaws either, so it's just mediocre. There are hints to Grievous's character: he doesn't care about galactic politics and he hates the Jedi with a burning passion, but I don't really know what to make of them. Why does he hate them so much? That'd be interesting to know. How was he recruited by Dooku, what does he make of the fact that Dooku used to be a Jedi? What does he know about Sidious? What does he think of Ventress?
Also why were Ahsoka and Rex there if they weren't going to have any lines or contribute anything?

[Fyraltari]

Thinking about last episode. Wouldn't it have made more sense if grievous had tried to exchange Koth for Poggle and/or Tambor (as a trap of course)? The episode would have had less padding and we would have seen these two escape.

Season 2, Episode 10: The Deserter

Spoiler: Recap

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Grievous's transport ship has been shot down in-between episodes (but he did get a new cape so silver linings) forcing him to flee in escape pods. His crashed pretty hard on Saleucami and its transmitter is fried. In fact of all the pods only one still has a transmitter capable of reaching the fleet so someone can pick him up. He mobilizes his droids and has them find a mount for him (I think it's the same kind of creature that the one with three horns from AotC). They head for the pod but the droids start complaining that they are low on power so Grievous kills one for comedy, I guess?

Obi-Wan lands with his troops and Rex (I thought he worked for Anakin with the 501st and Kenobi commanded whatever unit Cody is in?) and they head for the downed transport ship. As Grievous isn't there, Kenobi sends Rex and 3 troopers ahead on bikes. They stumble on a pair of commando droids with a sniper rifle who manage to shoot Rex square in the torso despite zooming comically on his face. After killing both droids they recognize that the local animals are domesticated and bring their wounded captain to the nearby farm. They are "welcomed" at gunpoint by a twi'lek named Sue who accept to shelter Rex in the barn for the night. Rex wants to press on, but his medic pulls rank on him and order him to take some rest, as should the shot have been two inches to the left it'd have gone right through his heart. From which we can conclude that humans have their heart under their left breast in this universe. During the discussion, Sue's two kids Shiah and Jek barge in and Shiah says that Rex is just like her father. Sue clarifies that her husband is away, delivering their first harvest.

Said husband comes in during the night and surprise! He's a clone! I guess the children aren't biologically his. Even if twi'lek and humans can interbreed (they canonically can) and the children do look like a mix of human and twi'lek they are way too old for that (even when taking accelerated growth into account). Rex is angry and demands to know the deserter's number. "Cut Lawquane" is his answer. Rex says he has a duty and Cut says his duty is to his family. Who comes in to welcome him back and the children insist Rex must come eat with them. At dinner Rex has calmed down considerably and is having a cooler discussion with Cut. He says that he is simply exercising his right as a free agent to choose his life. And he points out that he knows Rex has thought about it too (they are as close to being one single person as you can get so he has a pretty good idea of what is going on inside Rex's head) and that the simple fact of having a name is a proof of individuality. Rex doesn't really have anything to counter that so he says that his life in the army is meaningful as, should the Republic lose, their children will live under an evil he can't imagine (if only he knew). Cuts remarks that Rex isn't allowed to have children, he's just regurgitating Republic talking points. Rex admits to it but says that it doesn't matter if it's his children or somebody else's he chooses to fight for them. Exactly, says Cut, to each his own. And Rex realizes he's been had.

Later on the two are playing Dejarik and Cut explains that he deserted after the battle of Geonosis (the first one, I assume), his transport ship was ambushed and the droids gave no quarter. Rather than be slaughtered he ran away and questionned his existence: now that his team was dead, he felt like another expendable clone. Rex empathizes with him, having apparently lost many close brothers during the war. Cut says he knows Rex thinks him a coward but that he would fight to protect his family. And indeed, his two children discover an escape pod in the fields (how did they miss it crashing down a hundred meters away from their house?) and Shiah accidentally activates the commando droids inside. Said droids are malfunctioning which apparently means attacking the first organics they can find I guess. Rex wants to fight but, as he's injured, Cuts tells him to stay back and protect Sue and the children as a last resort while he fights the oncoming horde with the rifle and his old military-issued blasters (he handed his pistol to Rex). The fight is pretty intense and takes down good chunks of the house but all five come out without any injury. The next morning, as Rex leaves, Sue asks him if he will report Cut's desertion. He says that it is his duty to, but because of his injury he "probably won't remember". Sue and Cut offer him a place at the farm but he declines it. His family is elsewhere. He then radio Obi-Wan to meet up with him.

While all this was happening Kenobi had a bad day. they scanned a deactivated droid to find Grievous's landing spot (how didn't they see that from orbit?) but, to his exasperation, they still managed to fail in capturing him. Again. Anakin is never going to let him forget that.

Spoiler: My thoughts

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This was a pretty good episode. It's nice to see clones challenge their lot in life. Rex has learned that one can decide not to fight for the Republic and not be a coward (something he had trouble with last season). The fact that the clones are slaves to the republic is addressed again, but the complicity of the Jedi in this isn't (yet). Also it's interested to see that in Rex's case it's voluntary. The parts with Grievious were completely disconnected with the rest of the plot. I feel it would have been better to just cut them out entirely. Have the initial set up of the search for him and the several pods and then just follow Rex. And then at the end Rex is told by radio that Grievous escaped. Again. Because of course he did. But off-screen this time. That way there'd have been more room for Rex to interact with the Lawquane.

Also I think this is the only episode featuring clones wherein none died.

Edit: Alright! Next up is Peelee's favorite ever! I'm curious to see what it's about.

[Peelee]

Edit: Alright! Next up is Peelee's favorite ever! I'm curious to see what it's about.

Spoiler: not clones. Or wars. I don't even think it's about "the"s.

ETA: Apparently, it's based on a Kurosawa movie. I'm starting to think it's not that I love Star Wars, but rather it's that I love Kurosawa.

Double ETA:

Note to self, rally for a Fyraltari Futurama Watchthrough thread at some point.

Unlikely.

Is it because of their very subtle running gag regarding the French language?

[Fyraltari]

Spoiler: not clones. Or wars. I don't even think it's about "the"s.

ETA: Apparently, it's based on a Kurosawa movie. I'm starting to think it's not that I love Star Wars, but rather it's that I love Kurosawa.

I have my fingers crossed for Rashomon but I just know it’s going to be Seven Samurai.

You know, I really ought to watch Hidden Fortress and Yojimbo at some point. I mean, I’ve watched Star Wars and A Fistfull of Dollars so I should watch the originals.


... To think that we almost had Toshiro Mifune playing Obi-Wan Kenobi. No disrespect to Alec Guinness but that would have been bloody great.

Double ETA:
Is it because of their very subtle running gag regarding the French language?

No, it’s because I already gave it a try a while back and the first episode really didn’t do it for me (let me guess « it gets better ») so it’s way back at the end of my list. And as has been said upthread comedy doesn’t really lend itself to this kind of review. Besides, I understand that it is a show by Americans for Americans about Americans so there would be a good number of jokes, points and satires that would pass me by.

Don’t fret, I will do a Last Airbender thread at some point.

[Dire_Flumph]

You know, I really ought to watch Hidden Fortress and Yojimbo at some point. I mean, I’ve watched Star Wars and A Fistfull of Dollars so I should watch the originals.

Star Wars takes inspiration from a lot of things, but I've never really understood the stance that it's some sort of remake of Hidden Fortress. There are some obvious things taken from it, but not any more than Flash Gordon or several other things Lucas was a fan of.

But if you want to see a jaw-droppingly direct lift Star Wars took from another film, watch the climax of the Dam Busters some time.

[Peelee]

I have my fingers crossed for Rashomon but I just know it’s going to be Seven Samurai.

No to both.

[Fyraltari]

[Jasdoif]

...but I just know it’s going to be Seven Samurai.

No, that's still several episodes out. (Look, the dedication to Kurosawa appears before the title card; it will be hard not to be spoiled on that one....)

[Peelee]

No, it’s because I already gave it a try a while back and the first episode really didn’t do it for me (let me guess « it gets better ») so it’s way back at the end of my list. And as has been said upthread comedy doesn’t really lend itself to this kind of review. Besides, I understand that it is a show by Americans for Americans about Americans so there would be a good number of jokes, points and satires that would pass me by.

Bender Bending Rodríguez is Mexican, Hermes Conrad is Jamaican, Amy Wong is Martian, and Turanga Leela I am deliberately omitting for anyone who has not watched it.

Even for the rest of the cast, they are more Earthican than anything, and many of the jokes are not "about America" any more than most other American-made shows (and, arguably, actively less about America, since the vast majority of the stories involve off-world travel or non-location-specific plots. A huge part of the series that is frequently alluded to is that it is not the world we live in today.

Don’t fret, I will do a Last Airbender thread at some point.

Hooray!

[Fyraltari]

Bender Bending Rodríguez is Mexican, Hermes Conrad is Jamaican, Amy Wong is Martian, and Turanga Leela I am deliberately omitting for anyone who has not watched it.

Even for the rest of the cast, they are more Earthican than anything, and many of the jokes are not "about America" any more than most other American-made shows (and, arguably, actively less about America, since the vast majority of the stories involve off-world travel or non-location-specific plots. A huge part of the series that is frequently alluded to is that it is not the world we live in today.

Isn’t there a few American celebrities appearing as disembodied heads and allegories to American social/political questions? Also I find your saying «*they are more Earthicans*than anything*» as an attempt to convince me the show is not about the US but IN SPACE! very amusing.

Also also even if they aren’t that doesn’t change anything of the fact that I didn’t find the first episode(s) funny and that I don’t think this kind of reviews would go well with this type of show.


Look I might, might, give it another shot but no promises are made.

[Peelee]

Isn’t there a few American celebrities appearing as disembodied heads and allegories to American social/political questions? Also I find your saying «*they are more Earthicans*than anything*» as an attempt to convince me the show is not about the US but IN SPACE! very amusing.

Also also even if they aren’t that doesn’t change anything of the fact that I didn’t find the first episode(s) funny and that I don’t think this kind of reviews would go well with this type of show.


Look I might, might, give it another shot but no promises are made.

The celebrities are merely that - celebrities. Their appearances are, for the most part, restricted to the fact that they were famous for whatever (and typically mocking that).

I'm not going to say there aren't American-centric references scattered throughout, but I would say it's not terribly much more than any other US-made show, and more than a few I suspect you would enjoy because of how they treat many American-centric references.

Spoiler: Which is to say, mockingly

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Leela: Look, I know there are no car-chases, but this is important. One of these two men will become President of the World.
Fry: What do we care? We live in the United States.
Leela: The United States is part of the world.
Fry: Wow, I have been gone a long time.

All that being said, I'm not pushing for you to do a review thread for it (though I would read the hell out of such a thread because Futurama is the greatest show ever made), and I'm the first to admit the first season, and the first several episodes especially, are pretty shaky compared to the rest of the series. I just think you would probably enjoy a lot of it. But humor is subjective and I could be wrong.

[Fyraltari]

*Non-committal shrug*

All that being said, I'm not pushing for you to do a review thread for it

Note to self, rally for a Fyraltari Futurama Watchthrough thread at some point.

In other matters, I forgot to put it in the review but in the 9th episode, Grievous asks Kenobi if all is going to plan and the Jedi replies « it depends on your point of view. » And no. Just no. *wags finger* Bad show.

[Peelee]

Fair point, forgot I'd said that.

Although I am rallying for your next episode review, in any event.

[DataNinja]

The celebrities are merely that - celebrities. Their appearances are, for the most part, restricted to the fact that they were famous for whatever (and typically mocking that).

I'm not going to say there aren't American-centric references scattered throughout, but I would say it's not terribly much more than any other US-made show, and more than a few I suspect you would enjoy because of how they treat many American-centric references.

As someone who's not American, there are... definitely a few references that I didn't get but were obviously American, but there was enough other stuff to enjoy it. Still climbed up to become my favorite TV show, and one of the few things to genuinely be able to make me genuinely laugh out loud when I'm trying to be quiet and not disturb anyone else.

[Fyraltari]

Fair point, forgot I'd said that.

That happens to the best of us.

Although I am rallying for your next episode review, in any event.

Someone’s gotta learn the virtues of patience. ^__^

If I don’t write it tonight I’ll probably do so Friday evening.

[Peelee]

If I don’t write it tonight I’ll probably do so Friday evening.

Mmhmmm.

I thought I saw something about patience but I was in too big a hurry to really read it all.

[Fyraltari]

Mmhmmm.

I thought I saw something about patience but I was in too big a hurry to really read it all.

Operating word here is « probably ».

[Fyraltari]

Season 2, Episode 11: Lightsaber Lost a.k.a. Peelee's favourite, a.k.a. Stray Dog in space.

Spoiler: Recap

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Ahsoka and Anakin are taking a break from the war to take an assignment in the Coruscanti underworld: some gun-runner is buying stolen Republican weapons and military supplies and selling them to the Separatists, obviously the Jedi don't approve. They've tracked him to some kind of bar. Skywalker goes to arrest him and leaves his aAdawan outside in case the man makes a run for it. Anakin is about as subtle as he ever is and a crowd flees the bar in a panic shoving Tano aside. To her horror she realizes someone used that opportunity to steal her lightsaber, an alien of the same fish-like species as Bane's hacker back in the finale of season 1. She doesn't manage to catch him, though, as he disappears in the street. She hides what happened to Anakin and gets back to the Temple with him and their prisoner.

Back at the Temple she confides to Jocasta Nu (I'm guessing she feels she can tell her since Nu, having been beaten by an intruder, is in no position to scold her for failing to be a perfect Jedi). Ahsoka stresses that she can't tell Anakin what happened because he'd be mad as he always tell her "this lightsaber is your life, you mustn't lose it". Ah! That's cute. Jocasta then directs her to an old Jedi, Master Tara Sinube, who specializes in the Coruscanti crime milieu. He's also very old and looks kind of like a shell-less upright turtle with hair. She tells him about the theft and, hearing that the thief was from an aquatic species, he jokes that there was something fishy about him. I wonder if that's considered a specist joke in that universe. From the info of where the theft happened he shows her the pictures of six known thieves of the right species (how did he eliminate all the quarrens, mon cals, aqualishes and hwo knows how many amphibious species on the planet?) and Ahsoka recognizes the culprit: a petty thief named Bana Mu. She hurriedly thanks him and says that if there's anything she can do for him... There is! He wants to come with as he hasn't had a mission in years and he thinks she needs to slow down (she's been pacing across the room and acting all nervous during their whole conversation) or she's never going to succeed.

They head for a fence known for buying from Bana Mu and act like they want to buy a lightsaber. The fence and his associate admits they know where to find one, but when Ahsoka shows them a holo of Mu and asks if they'll buy it from him, they realize they are dealing with Jedi and agree to tell them where Bana Lu lives out of fear. Doesn't stop the associate (a twi'lek) to say that Ahsoka owes him a favour. Huh, kinda weird, she's already doing them a favour by not arresting them for dealing in stolen goods. Wonder if that'll become important later. Also missed opportunity for a "I'm not a Jedi, I'm just a guy with a lightsaber and some questions" joke. Once at Bana Mu's place (a hotel) Ahsoka is worried that they won't find his room without alerting him, but Sinube tells her to quiet her mind, if she weren't so anxious she'd fell the thief's anxiesty and know that he is in... this room. She uses the force to break the door (This attitude is why the Republic turned on you, guys) and barge in. Mu has a terrible stereotypical Italian accent and I wish he'd shut up sooner. Anyways, he already sold the weapon to a crime boss called Nak Movers who they can find at his girlfriend's. Ahsoka is none too pleased to learn that her weapon ended up in the ends of a killer, that was precisely what she was afraid of.

As they arrive at Nak's girlfriend's place, Sinube again tells Ahsoka to calm down and that her worry that of someone getting killed with her weapon is a valid concern but one she'll have to puzzle out herself. They easily find Nak's suite: opening button has been slashed and there's a dead trandoshan inside, Nak himself they guess). Also there is Nak's girlfriend, Ioni Marsee, who's been hiding ever since a group of men came and killed Nak. Sinube senses that she's terrified but there's something else troubling her. Ahsoka goes into the next room and is ambushed by another woman, holding her lightsaber but not knowing how to turn it on. When Ahsoka recognizes the weapon, her opponent understands that she's facing a Jedi and decides to jump through a window. She's trying to escape by leaping from building to building, Ahsoka can barely follow her and tell Sinube she's pursuing the intruder who she identifies as a "terrelian jango jumper". Not sure what a jango is, unless she's from a species where it's a tradition to regularly jump above Jango Fett or something.

Sinube surreptitiously places a tracking beacon on Ioni and confronts her about the intruder being a woman rather than a group of men. He alludes less and lees subtly that he doesn't believe her story, until finally bluntly stating that she wasn't afraid because of the attack but that the Jedi would find her accomplice (he also implies she's poisoned Nak), as he says that, a handful of police droids arrive, but because he earlier told Ioni he'd called the police, she manages to escape in a speeder she had remotely summoned. Meanwhile, the Jumper, named Cassie is fleeing Ahsoka by parkouring through Coruscant's skyline. It's a nice action scene if a bit drawn out. Cassie manages to switch the lightsaber on and uses it to disable some floating billboard they're running on, making Ahsoka fall on a giant screen of Palpatine making an adress. It's hard to hear what Palps is saying (I'm not watching with subtitles) but I caught "Jedi created the war... power". More on this below. Ahsoka catches a passing by speeder and uses the Force to bend a pipe Cassie was climbing to place her in the middle of nothing above a huge pit. Should probably use the Force to catch your saber, Ahsoka. Cassie escapes by jumping on Ioni's speeder, leaving Ahsoka stranded.

She spends some time sitting there until Sinube arrives on a jetbike he loaned from the police and tells her he's pleased she's learned to be patient. Ahsoka is worried he's driving (flying?) too slowly but he tells her not to worry, his tracker tells him they're going to the train station and they'll catch them there. Still think you're driving dangerously slowly, there, Sinube as everybody else is rushing past you. Speed limits go both ways, you know.
At the station, Cassie finally notices the tracker (it's a huge blinking light, seriously!) and destroys it, but too late to stop Ahsoka and Sinube from spotting them, at Ahsoka's command, two police droids catch Ioni, but Cassie uses the lightsaber to disable those who where trying to get her and runs away. She can't get in the train so she gets ontop of it, as does Ahsoka just as the train departs. Sinube snarks at Ioni about how rude it was to leave like that. Cassie uses the lightsaber to break on of the train's window and get inside where she takes a twi'lek woman and her child hostage. Ahsoka offer to trade herself fro them, but Cassie is afraid she'd use some trick on her and refuses. The train comes in at the next stop and the door opens on Sinube, who reveals that the top of his walking stick is actually his lightsaber and casually disarms Cassie. His lightsaber is a pale blue, almost white, that's neat. Ahsoka says that for a guy who moves slow, he always get ahead of her and he replies that the values of moving slowly is that one can always see where they're going. Oh, bollocks! There's no way you arrived ahead of the train at the next stop without rushing, man!
Ahsoka is glad to have her glowstick back, and gladder that the two civilians are safe.

Back at the Temple, Sinube has a last favour to ask from Ahsoka "pass on what you have learned". He takes her to Yoda's classroom (turns out Yoda and Sinube are friends) and she starts telling the younglings about the importance of keeping their lightsaber safe. Hey, that's not the lesson! I know, it's only the preambule, but it's still funny to me that it looks like she hasn't learned a thing in this episode.

Spoiler: My thoughts

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Right, that was a good one. I wouldn't call it my favourite, in part because I don't like making these kinds of calls, but also because there are some bit that aren't all that great: Bana Mu's character for one, and I'm not really clear as to why Ioni and Cassie killed Nak. Just to steal the lightsaber? Is it really that valuable? I mean it's a rare weapon sure, but there have been a lot of Jedi over the years, you'd think a good number of lightsaber would be in circulation. Come to think of it, what do the Jedi even do with the sabers of their deceased comrades? It's also quite clear that this is a longer story condensed in a 22-minute episode.

Sinube is a nice character, and I hope to see more of him, even in a reduced role. I like that they basically acknowledged that he's a Yoda clone by having them be friends (I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's based on an old concept for Yoda's appearance even).

Palpatine's billboard adress is interesting. Palpatine is Sidious's public face, but when you think about it, there are 4 Palapatines depending on who he's talking to: Palpatine who talks to the Jedi needs to appear like a good-intentioned politician who tries his best but can't stop the war, someone they wouldn't suspect of being a Sith, Palpatine who talks to Anakin needs to appear like a mentor figure and friend, to better lure him to the Dark Side, Senate Palpatine needs to appear like someone the Senators and other government officials would want in power for their own selfish gains and at the same time needs to manipulate the political scene to ensure the war drags on AND pass more and more authoritarian laws, finally, public Palpatine needs to appear like a wise, strong leader as well as turn the public opinion against the Jedi and the aliens. All to insure the transition to the Empire.
There is some overlap, of course as it's impossible for him to separate all four facets (Jedi watch the Senate meetings, for one) but still. Of all fours, I don't think we've ever seen public!Palpatine before, so it's kind of a shame that we don't get to hear his speech. From what I can make out, he seems to be emphasing the Jedi's role in starting the war, and maybe insinuating that they're trying to amass power? No doubt to pre-emptively justify the Jedi Purge.

I like the episode's focus on Ahsoka needing to slow down. The Jedi are all about discipline and self control (unlike the Sith who are more about unbridled passions and self gratification), but Ahsoka has joined the order in a time of war (which is also where we see them almost universally) which is more conductive to a "thunder and lightning" approach to problem-solving. So it's only natural (especially since Anakin, of all Jedi, is her master) that she'd resort to violence as her first solution (as seen when interrogating Bana Mu) and feel powerless when she's faced with a problem she can't slash in the face. That reminds me of The Hand of Thrawn, where Luke ponders wether relying too much on Force powers doesn't weaken Force perception and whether this is linked to the Light/Dark Side difference, an idea I would have liked to hear more about. Good stuff all around.

[Fyraltari]

season 2, Episode 12: The Mandalore Plot a.k.a. the one where the (first?) massive retcon happens

Spoiler: Recap

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So there's apparently a council of neutral systems representing 1,500 worlds who refuse to take part in the war. Since this is a civil war isn't that de facto supporting the rebellion? Anyway, the council's leader is Duchess Satine, monarch of Mandalore and there are rumors that she is actually building an army to join the Separatists so the Jedi send Obi-Wan Kenobi to assess the situation. And right off the bat, Mandalore looks gorgeous. The planet seems to consist of barren plains but the capital (and presumably the other cities) is inside a huge dome and consists of huge pillars both vertical and horizontal creating some cubic empty spaces, each column incorporates a lot of glass, it's very beautiful. Obi-Wan meets with the long-necked Prime Minister Almec who insists the rumours are false: all the warriors were exiled to the moon of Concordia (Hah!) where they died out long ago (nothing as peaceful as a little bit of genocide heh?). Obi-Wan mentions Jango Fett as counter-evidence but Almec denies Fett was even a real Mandalorian. The Duchess gets here with another advisor who isn't introduced and has one line but they cut him off. I guess he'll be important in a later episode. She feels insulted that Obi-Wan would suspect her of treason (it's pretty clear they've got some history) but he says that while he doesn't suspect her personally, a Mandalorian warrior fought for the Separatists recently and committed suicide to avoid interrogation. Satine calms down once Obi-wan clarifies he's been sent by the Order, not the Senate and she asks him to take a walk with her.

Once in private she admits that their new pacifist outlook has generated some push-back in the form of a group of "hooligans" called Death Watch who've created minor problems, so far the official investigation has tracked them down to the moon of Concordia (oh, where the warriors went to, what a coincidink!). We cut to Concordia where the leader of Death Watch is talking to Dooku via hologram, he's worried that the Jedi's presence means that the Republic will sent troops to Mandalore which will derail their planned coup d'état. Dooku reassures him: once the Republic troops arrive the Mandalorian people will see them as invaders and will rally to death Watch and the Separatists when they arrive which will, in turn, give them legitimacy. I like it, it's a solid, straightforward plan. Meanwhile Satine and Obi-Wan's conversation has drifted: he thinks that a peacekeeper's job is on the front lines and that it's unrealistic to expect them to stop conflict from happening, she poinls out that it sounds like he's abandoned his ideals. They are interrupted by an explosion. Satine tries to claim this is the work of an off-worlder but the Death Watch logo give the lie to that. Obi-Wan orders everybody present detained for questioning (on who's authority?) and, hearing that, the bomber (why is he even still there?) runs off to a nearby balcony. There's quick fight where Obi-wan has clearly the upper hand but just insists the other guy surrenders and that he won't be harmed. He answers in a foreign tongue and throws himself off the balcony. Oh no, if only there were someone present with the ability to remotely catch people in the air. Satine goes to the dying man and exchange some words of comfort (probably) with him as he passes. I like that their exchange isn't translated, you don't need to know what they're saying to know what they're saying and that way you can imagine as poignant as it need to be. She tells Obi-Wan that the man was speaking in the Mandalorian dialect native to the moon of Concordia. Obi, quite logically decides that he needs to go there in the shortest delay. However since it's some kind of semi-independent province, with its own governor, Satine insists on coming along.

Over there they are greeted by Governor Vizla, who you can tell is evil because his face has too many angles. He's been leading the investigation on Death Watch. Obi-wan asks Satine to keep him occupied for a while, he's going to covertly investigate one of the (allegedly) abandoned mining facilities to look for Death Watch. He gives her an earpiece so they can stay in contact. They banter for a bit about how she's opposed to what he's doing but it's in good spirits. Once he arrives there he discovers that the facility has been mass-producing Mandalorian weapons and armours, however he is attacked and beaten by two Death Watchers. Meanwhile Satine is discussing the situation with Vizla, clearly Death Watch has received helped from outsiders. Vizla suggests that the Separatists are trying to undermine her because the council of neutral world is a threat to them, somehow? The Death Watchers strap Kenobi to a conveyor belt rather than shooting him dead so it'll look like an accident (but I thought the goal was to get the Republic involved? Wouldn't an obvious murder better achieve that goal?) and took his saber but failed to notice his earpiece. There's a fun scene where Satine has to talk to both Vizla and Obi-wan at the same time while trying to leave Vizla unaware, but the fact that she's touching her earpiece makes it kind of conspicuous. She leaves to save him, apparently forgetting that she has bodyguards. She arrives just in time, creates a diversion by triggering an alarm and gets the machine to stop. She takes longer that Obi-Wan is comfortable with and he belittles her for it. Looks like the Jedi Master needs to work on his zen. The guards come back but Obi-Wan beats them easily this time. Satine then accuses him of taking pleasure in the suffering of others and he accuses her of not caring whether or not he dies. Uh, what the hell are you two on about? Is there a scene missing?

Once they step out of the elevator they were in Obi-Wan realizes that this isn't the way they came in. How did you miss that? You didn't take an elevator coming in! They're in the middle of the base, so a handful of warriors come at them. Obi-wan grabs a blaster and beats them. Satine throws a rock. The commander orders his army to evacuate and executes one of the warriors Kenobi beat so that you know he's evil and reveals himself to be... Governor Vizla! Dun-dun-dun! He rants for a bit about how Satine has tarnished the legacy of the Mandalorians and then gives Obi-Wan his saber back. He, himself, draws a black lightsaber that was stolen by the Mandalorians during "the Fall of the Old republic", hey look, Legends canon! i think this is the first appearance of the Darksaber, right? they fight for a bit, but once it's clear Vizla is loosing he just gives up on the whole "honor-duel" thing and has his men fire homing missiles at Obi-wan and Satine, Obi-wan grabs her and they jump down the elevator shaft. Vizla gives up on pursuit for the time being. Satine says they're even : having both saved each other's life once. Obi-wan says his rescue was the most daring. Not sure if he means his rescue of her, or his rescue by her. Some time later, Obi-wan, Satine, Almec and other advisor guy are leaving (for Coruscant, I assume) and Anakin, Rex, Cody and some more clones show up for escort. Satine still hopes to stay out of the war and is offended when Obi-wan says he doesn't believe that's possible anymore.

Spoiler: My thoughts

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Okay, so this episode is pretty standard, but that's okay. It obviously is here to set up a larger Mandalore plot by introducing the new characters (Satine, Vizla and the two advisors) as well as Satine's prior history with Obi-wan and what the Mandalorians are like now. Speaking of Kenobi and Satine, their interactions seemed like a concentration of Anakin and Obi-wan's interaction in the first season, going from dear friends to outright hostility seemingly without rhyme nor reason. There's also a theme of "pacifism vs just war" that's brewing there, it's not the first time it's shown up in this show and it won't be the last. I suspect this will keep being a thing for the next few episodes so I won't talk about it now. I'll just say that having Kenobi on the "just war" side feels... odd. Also, is it me or is Satine a clone of Padmé? Queen/Duchess of a remote world, leader of a Senatorial faction, vying for peace and pacifism (remember how Padmé didn't want to fight the Trade Federation back in TPM?) and (I have been told this) more-or-less romantically involved with a Jedi?

Right, without further ado, let's talk about the one thing that got people arguing over the Internet (spoilered for length):

Spoiler: Mandalorians, new and old and Death Watch

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So, if I know my Star Wars history right, up until that point, Mandalorians were only ever shown as a total warrior culture where every member learns to fight from an early age, and earns a living as a mercenary/gun-for-hire while hoping to go to Space-Walhall or something. Meanwhile Death Watch was this group of evil Mandalorians who are brutal thugs fighting for money often against the Jedi, unlike the good Mandalorians who are brutal thugs fighting for money often against the Jedi, but goodly. So the decision to retcon it that, in fact, the good Mandalorians are pacifist and that the evil Death Watch was actually the same as the (former) good Mandalorians ruffed some feathers. Which is understandable. I, personally, like it. The thing about warrior cultures is that they're a lie. Either in or out of universe. The plain simple truth is that you can't build a civilization on violence. If everyone in your society is a warrior then you've got no one to make the food needed for your warriors to survive and no-one to make al the fancy toys the warriors are using. Think about it. There's a reason knights didn't forge their swords themselves. Being any good at metalsmithing takes a huge amout of practice and so does being any good at fighting. Now imagine how long it takes to be good at designing spaceships. And you can't have any sloppy design in your spaceships. I mean just look at the architecture we see in the episode, does that looks like it was designed by someone who spends all his afternoons practicing their fighting skills? Not to mention that if you teach all your people that the only way to have worth is to through battle, then you need at least one major conflict by generation. And that's not gonna do wonders for your demographics. Not to mention that everyone in your region is going to wise up and band together to give the lunatics a good whooping. Hey, maybe that's why the planet looks so barren outside the dome, too many Republican carpet-bombing after yet another idiotic alliance with the Sith. Which, when you think about it, make perfect sense as ally to the Mandalorians, the Sith Code and the Mandalorian way of life are very close in outlooks ("the thing that matters most is your personal strength" could be a quote from either group). Honestly, one of the good ideas of the Prequels (and I'm not even sure it was intentional) was to have the proto-stormtrooper be literal clones of a Mandalorian warrior creating a direct link between the Empire and the Mandalorians, because, again, their philosophy of worth-through-violence meshes very well with the real-life politics of the groups who inspired the Empire and it makes sense that Rebels later shows them having joined with the Empire.

I went on quite a tangent there, but my point is, it makes sense for the Mandalorian to have had an underclass of workers all along, much like the Spartans had a demographic of 1 free man for every 7 to 20 slaves (depending on source). And there's only so many wars that said underclass would be willing to endure before they break out the vibro-guillotines and get rid of the parasites. And it's only logical that they would embrace pacifism as a reaction to their previous overlords. So yeah, I think this retcon was clever and I wish they'd had stuck with it.

[hamishspence]

Spoiler

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And there's only so many wars that said underclass would be willing to endure before they break out the vibro-guillotines and get rid of the parasites.

These seem to be the closest equivalent - the article is Legends, but the device is seen in TCW which is part of the newcanon.

[Peelee]

Spoiler: Non-canon Mandalorian culture

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It's less that Mandalorians were a warrior culture, in that everyone was a warrior, and more than Mandalorians were a warrior culture, in that everyone was expected to fight if needed. There were farmers, blacksmiths, bakers, janitors, leaders, etc. etc. It's just that they were also all trained to fight and trained to have the same mentality as the dedicated warriors. You know how some countries have mandatory military service for like 6 months or so? Imagine, instead of that, it's mandatory military service for life. You're a baker, you have a bakery, you bake. You also don't stop practicing martial skills. Sure, you'll never be as good as the dedicated Mandalorian soldiers, but you're still a warrior in your own right, despite primarily being a baker. And the all of the people are like that, because it's not a species. It's a culture. You join because you want to live that way. Mandalorians take all people from all walks of life, so long as they agree to live as Mandalorians.

Also, Mandalorians outside of Mandalore or its colonies were relatively rare. Working as bounty hunters or mercenaries was seen as somewhat shameful, so not too many of them did. It's just that, due to how Mandalorians were, the few that did were remarkably successful and earned a well-deserved reputation (they also, more often than not, tended to be the more blood-hungry ones).

Of course, that's not canon anymore, but that's a much more nuanced version of how they were in Legends, rather than "all mercenaries and some farm".

ETA: Oh, also, clone troopers were not cloned off Mandalorians. Jango and Boba Fett were not Mandalorians. New canon may change that, remains to be seen. Don't even get me started on how many revisions Boba Fett went through throughout Lucas's mess that he called "canon" though.

[Fyraltari]

These seem to be the closest equivalent - the article is Legends, but the device is seen in TCW which is part of the newcanon.

Why do I even bother making jokes anymore?

Spoiler: Non-canon Mandalorian culture

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It's less that Mandalorians were a warrior culture, in that everyone was a warrior, and more than Mandalorians were a warrior culture, in that everyone was expected to fight if needed. There were farmers, blacksmiths, bakers, janitors, leaders, etc. etc. It's just that they were also all trained to fight and trained to have the same mentality as the dedicated warriors. You know how some countries have mandatory military service for like 6 months or so? Imagine, instead of that, it's mandatory military service for life. You're a baker, you have a bakery, you bake. You also don't stop practicing martial skills. Sure, you'll never be as good as the dedicated Mandalorian soldiers, but you're still a warrior in your own right, despite primarily being a baker. And the all of the people are like that, because it's not a species. It's a culture. You join because you want to live that way. Mandalorians take all people from all walks of life, so long as they agree to live as Mandalorians.

Also, Mandalorians outside of Mandalore or its colonies were relatively rare. Working as bounty hunters or mercenaries was seen as somewhat shameful, so not too many of them did. It's just that, due to how Mandalorians were, the few that did were remarkably successful and earned a well-deserved reputation (they also, more often than not, tended to be the more blood-hungry ones).

Of course, that's not canon anymore, but that's a much more nuanced version of how they were in Legends, rather than "all mercenaries and some farm".

So it's not that they're all warriors, it's just that they're all warriors on the side? I'm sorry but that doesn't really fix anything. Especially if they're all supposed to still espouse the same philosophy as the warriors.

ETA: Oh, also, clone troopers were not cloned off Mandalorians. Jango and Boba Fett were not Mandalorians. New canon may change that, remains to be seen. Don't even get me started on how many revisions Boba Fett went through throughout Lucas's mess that he called "canon" though.

I'm sorry, what!?

[Peelee]

So it's not that they're all warriors, it's just that they're all warriors on the side? I'm sorry but that doesn't really fix anything. Especially if they're all supposed to still espouse the same philosophy as the warriors.

Yeah. You know how even architects will have some sort of hobby or recreation outside of work? For Mandalorians, that recreation is martial recreation.

Also, while they didn't have major conflicts every generation, they weren't shy about it. And yes, that did keep demographics down, which is at least one reason why Mandalorians weren't terribly well-represented or didn't present a major faction in the Galactic Republic.

I'm sorry, what!?

Goerge Lucas giveth, and Goerge Lucas taketh away.