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  1. - Top - End - #241
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    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    Sorry for a late reply, been busy with things.
    Spoiler: chapter 15
    Show

    Hehe, I wonder if Ella's specific phrasing there is a hint of something. Nice catch~

    "Verde is Rei's Vegeta" is a fun image to me because he is also very tiny.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Obviously, Ella's been in fights worse than the one she saw.

    For the record, "flash of wind" is a term you hear getting tossed around every so often, and Final Flash in german is, per google, letzter blitz.

    Do with that what you will.


    Spoiler: Chapter 16
    Show
    Rei is literally hot-blooded? And her hands can burn red...? We need to get her a giant robot that is piloted by motion controls and is designed to imitate her powers.

    Being born on literally the exact day that a parent died? That's gotta be hard.

    ...Yeah, this whole scene at the grave hits hard.

    Why does Rei hate hospitals?

    Being around toxic behavior makes you think it's normal.

    ...Yeah, Chloe probably needs a clean break with her parents. "you're not allowed to be friends with the gay girl. Here, have these total bitches as replacement friends" is bad parenting and between that and her how father wants her to be an Idol, a horribly toxic industry... Yeah.

    Shiptease no Jutsu!


    Spoiler: Chapter 17
    Show
    Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

    ...I can feel the grime just reading it.

    Kite is a kind of bird.

    ...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

    Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

    Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

    Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

    Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

    Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

    Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

    Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

    And the twist.


    Spoiler: Chapter 18
    Show
    Gamma is the big-damn hero.

    Hoever, Gamma, next time "the person you described sounds like he bad guy, be careful" would have been the thing to say. Lack of communication is what gets the person you want about the one-legged man inviting that exact same one-legged man to be the cook on the expedition to find the treasure you're trying to keep out of the one-legged man's clutches.

    Well, that fight wascertainly visceral.

    After seeing the fight with the thugs, I thought Fury was overplaying how realistic and disturbing the fight s could be, becuase that seemed pretty normal based on my reading. This though? Yeah, I get it now.

    Gamma's sheding death flags. I fear for his well being, if only because I can't see Rei being willing to find a wise old pervert to teach her crap about mancy. Rei can teach her, but C'mon, there's tradition to be upheld. The teacher is either a mysterious badass with a tragic past or a perverted old hermit.

    Aria's too experienced with this.

    "Hell survive as long as he doesn't get shot or stabbed or set on fire or anything. He's cool."

    Seriously, why is he after Rei if he didn't know about her powers?

    Kestral's afraid or sunrise and sunset? That's... A really specific thing... Has he spent time on a ship?

    The puppets became his actual parents? This is gonna lead into the "cry for the devil" moment later in the series, isn't it?

    Frankly, Aria, Rei needs friends like that now.

    Aria said she'd only learned of Gamma as a friend of Rei's, but knows he's a Shadowmancer. Senses? Or just not leaving out the seats in her mental recap?
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  2. - Top - End - #242
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Spoiler
    Show
    Obviously, Ella's been in fights worse than the one she saw.

    For the record, "flash of wind" is a term you hear getting tossed around every so often, and Final Flash in german is, per google, letzter blitz.

    Do with that what you will.


    Spoiler: Chapter 16
    Show
    Rei is literally hot-blooded? And her hands can burn red...? We need to get her a giant robot that is piloted by motion controls and is designed to imitate her powers.

    Being born on literally the exact day that a parent died? That's gotta be hard.

    ...Yeah, this whole scene at the grave hits hard.

    Why does Rei hate hospitals?

    Being around toxic behavior makes you think it's normal.

    ...Yeah, Chloe probably needs a clean break with her parents. "you're not allowed to be friends with the gay girl. Here, have these total bitches as replacement friends" is bad parenting and between that and her how father wants her to be an Idol, a horribly toxic industry... Yeah.

    Shiptease no Jutsu!


    Spoiler: Chapter 17
    Show
    Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

    ...I can feel the grime just reading it.

    Kite is a kind of bird.

    ...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

    Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

    Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

    Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

    Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

    Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

    Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

    Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

    And the twist.


    Spoiler: Chapter 18
    Show
    Gamma is the big-damn hero.

    Hoever, Gamma, next time "the person you described sounds like he bad guy, be careful" would have been the thing to say. Lack of communication is what gets the person you want about the one-legged man inviting that exact same one-legged man to be the cook on the expedition to find the treasure you're trying to keep out of the one-legged man's clutches.

    Well, that fight wascertainly visceral.

    After seeing the fight with the thugs, I thought Fury was overplaying how realistic and disturbing the fight s could be, becuase that seemed pretty normal based on my reading. This though? Yeah, I get it now.

    Gamma's sheding death flags. I fear for his well being, if only because I can't see Rei being willing to find a wise old pervert to teach her crap about mancy. Rei can teach her, but C'mon, there's tradition to be upheld. The teacher is either a mysterious badass with a tragic past or a perverted old hermit.

    Aria's too experienced with this.

    "Hell survive as long as he doesn't get shot or stabbed or set on fire or anything. He's cool."

    Seriously, why is he after Rei if he didn't know about her powers?

    Kestral's afraid or sunrise and sunset? That's... A really specific thing... Has he spent time on a ship?

    The puppets became his actual parents? This is gonna lead into the "cry for the devil" moment later in the series, isn't it?

    Frankly, Aria, Rei needs friends like that now.

    Aria said she'd only learned of Gamma as a friend of Rei's, but knows he's a Shadowmancer. Senses? Or just not leaving out the seats in her mental recap?
    Aah, many delicious thoughts for a sleepy day.

    Spoiler: chapter 16
    Show
    Thinkin' about Rei piloting the Shining Gundam now and it's real good.

    Aside from the general reasons of "hospitals are just scary", there is a reason why Rei hates hospitals. It'll probably get brought up in a later book.

    Chapter 16 is I think one of my favorites, writing wise. Rei just wearing her heart on her sleeve and talking with her dad's grave is super sad, but with this tinge of hopefulness, which leads into the conversation with Chloe wherein we learn that all this time, they probably both had feelings for each other that they were trying to push away. Even with Chloe's injuries, Rei still cheers her up. Even knowing she hurt her, Rei is warmed by Chloe's genuine smile returning. There's an immediate contrast with Kestrel, the guy she thinks she likes, and Chloe, the person she actually loves, that I think stands out.


    Spoiler: Chapter 17 and 18
    Show
    I can't say there is a Chicken Hawk, but rest assured; there will be more birds than Kite and Kestrel, hehe.

    I'm glad you enjoyed the fight! This one had some issues in creation because, as someone who is inherently just incapable of measuring distance, it was hard to keep clear in my head and on paper how far away Kestrel is from both Gamma and Rei. Factoring in travel time and stuff made it a little tricky to write.

    The question "why is he after Rei despite not knowing her abilities" is... a complicated one that he sorta answers, but in a vague and "I'm clearly just a minion" way, so it might be a little dissatisfying in this book. But rest assured, Rei agrees that she wants a better answer, and that's gonna be part of Hidden Embers.

    It is a specific thing! As for why... well, we'll see if it comes up, if it even can come up, in the future. As for the mnemonic puppets becoming his actual parents... yeah, that's supposed too hint towards the Aves Class maybe not being as 100% willing soldiers as you'd expect.

    I will say, and I should have made this clearer, Aria did not learn Gamma was a shadowmancer from the kids. She senses that out herself.

  3. - Top - End - #243
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    [SPOILER]
    Spoiler: Chapter 17
    Show
    Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

    ...I can feel the grime just reading it.

    Kite is a kind of bird.

    ...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

    Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

    Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

    Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

    Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

    Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

    Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

    Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

    And the twist.

    Spoiler
    Show
    I was being flip with description, but I wonder if mancers have influence on people akin to their elements/their relationship to their element. So the "magnetic personality" is literally a hunting tactic. Rei inspires people to spontaneous action. Gamma keeps to the background and out of sight.

    There are other reasons for these traits yes, but -mancy as a suffix is a way to divine things from you element. As such I suspect that mancy influence is much broader than the literal application of their element manipulation.
    Last edited by Mith; 2020-08-05 at 11:48 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #244
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Spoiler: Chapter 19
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    Oooh, that dream's a bad sign. Gonna need therapy for that.

    Best friend cuddles solve many problems though.

    Gamma is a tragic, complicated boy. Zodi, if this series gets big either be prepared to see fanart of him bishified and babied by random teens or demonized for daring to hurt Kestral depending on which type of obnoxious fangirl gets to him first.

    It's good that the talk of how Aria should have said something is happening now and not after Aria (almost) dies to drive home the stakes.

    ...The scene at the hospital is like something out a Slasher/Thriller mix.

    Especially the bit where something in Chloe's arm gets busted. Kestral may have just crippled Chloe.

    The Company that openly runs the Government is big enough to do whatever the Hell it wants, Verde. You're oddly naive for a ball of concentrated badass.

    Good, we're getting the guilt complex breaking pep-talk done before the complex becomes an arc.

    Verde reveals that she's a wizard and Gamma can't teach wind magic any better than he could teach pyromancy.


    Spoiler: Chapter 20
    Show
    Convinient breaking news is convenient. Narratively, I mean. In-universe it kind of sucks for everyone involved.

    Kestral really should be named after a different kind of bird. Something land-based and delicious once you've deboned and deep-fried it. Since he's very much acting like the male of that species.

    ...This book isn't going end without a Rei on Chloe kiss at this rate.

    ...With what I know of Ella... I wonder if her "I don't think I can" is more a fear of going too far if she uses her powers.

    Honestly, in hindsight, if Rei was willing to kill hen the plan should have involved aiming a blast of fire directly at Kestral's crotch at the first opportunity.

    Which is good advice for pretty much anything. If lives are on the line and/or you're willing to go lethal, aim for the groin. Male, female. Doesn't matter. Lots of nervous tissue, blood vessels, and other important stuff in that general area. It will hurt like a motherlover, it will keep the other guy from thinking straight, and it might knock them out, disorient them, or even inflict lethal damage if you hit hard enough.

    Verde's monolog made me picture Verde and Rei fusing. Verei.

    Verde needs to read some god-damn novels.

    Gamma drops more death flags and is very much the product of his upbringing

    Foreshadowing that Ella's umbrella is a weapon.

    Aria was jovial about the possibility of the house being attacked? "Cheerful and friendly?" Is Aria the Goku of this group? Is this DBZ if we started with Cell and Gohan didn't get screwed over by editorial demands in the next arc?

    I reiterate that Ella might be ore afraid of what whe'll do if she's forced to defend herself or others than the idea of being in danger.


    At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  5. - Top - End - #245
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    LaZodiac's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Spoiler: Chapter 19
    Show
    Oooh, that dream's a bad sign. Gonna need therapy for that.

    Best friend cuddles solve many problems though.

    Gamma is a tragic, complicated boy. Zodi, if this series gets big either be prepared to see fanart of him bishified and babied by random teens or demonized for daring to hurt Kestral depending on which type of obnoxious fangirl gets to him first.

    It's good that the talk of how Aria should have said something is happening now and not after Aria (almost) dies to drive home the stakes.

    ...The scene at the hospital is like something out a Slasher/Thriller mix.

    Especially the bit where something in Chloe's arm gets busted. Kestral may have just crippled Chloe.

    The Company that openly runs the Government is big enough to do whatever the Hell it wants, Verde. You're oddly naive for a ball of concentrated badass.

    Good, we're getting the guilt complex breaking pep-talk done before the complex becomes an arc.

    Verde reveals that she's a wizard and Gamma can't teach wind magic any better than he could teach pyromancy.


    Spoiler: Chapter 20
    Show
    Convinient breaking news is convenient. Narratively, I mean. In-universe it kind of sucks for everyone involved.

    Kestral really should be named after a different kind of bird. Something land-based and delicious once you've deboned and deep-fried it. Since he's very much acting like the male of that species.

    ...This book isn't going end without a Rei on Chloe kiss at this rate.

    ...With what I know of Ella... I wonder if her "I don't think I can" is more a fear of going too far if she uses her powers.

    Honestly, in hindsight, if Rei was willing to kill hen the plan should have involved aiming a blast of fire directly at Kestral's crotch at the first opportunity.

    Which is good advice for pretty much anything. If lives are on the line and/or you're willing to go lethal, aim for the groin. Male, female. Doesn't matter. Lots of nervous tissue, blood vessels, and other important stuff in that general area. It will hurt like a motherlover, it will keep the other guy from thinking straight, and it might knock them out, disorient them, or even inflict lethal damage if you hit hard enough.

    Verde's monolog made me picture Verde and Rei fusing. Verei.

    Verde needs to read some god-damn novels.

    Gamma drops more death flags and is very much the product of his upbringing

    Foreshadowing that Ella's umbrella is a weapon.

    Aria was jovial about the possibility of the house being attacked? "Cheerful and friendly?" Is Aria the Goku of this group? Is this DBZ if we started with Cell and Gohan didn't get screwed over by editorial demands in the next arc?

    I reiterate that Ella might be ore afraid of what whe'll do if she's forced to defend herself or others than the idea of being in danger.

    Spoiler: 19 and 20
    Show

    At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.
    Spoiler: 19 and 20
    Show


    The irony is that the weirdo Kestrel stans are going to be the ones who are more correct in their depiction of Gamma, given he's a feral scarred up murder-boy. Gamma has his soft moments but as gets brought up when Rei is talking about regrets with Gamma... he has definitely killed multiple people and that's a hard thing.

    Finally being able to let loose and present Kestrel as the driven, near-implacable assassin that he presents himself as was fun. Especially given Chloe is in no real place to defend herself right now. We know what he can do and now he is challenging someone undefended.

    Verde kinda gets that ONY has a stranglehold on the world, but actually seeing proof of legitimate evil is still kinda shocking, I feel. You "know" but that knowledge hasn't really struck you yet.

    Rei is willing to kill... but is she able is the question.

    There will be no fusion, don't worry.

    Interesting takes on both Aria and Ella here, by the way.

  6. - Top - End - #246
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    Before we get into our next chapter, I'd like a chance for y'all to weigh in on which book I'll cover next. I've narrowed it down to two choices.

    Spoiler: Book Choice!
    Show


    Aeon Legion by JP Beaubien. The Terrible Writing Advice guy. This is another YA Fantasy built largely on time travel. The main reasons I'm suggesting this is because it's a book that I've wanted to read for a while, it's by someone whose humor I appreciate, and I already own the book. The fact that it has kind of a unique premise is something of a selling point as well.

    Spoiler: Book Choice!
    Show


    Aaand After the Fall by EC Meyers. The RWBY book. I have my reservations about this one to be sure, but I also feel like it's something that I'd have a lot to say about. As most of you probably know, it follows the exploits of Team CVFY after the events of Volume Three of the series. I'll probably cover this book eventually if for no reason, I'm a little curious. Also, since I met Zodi on the RWBY threads, it seems weirdly appropriate.


    I guess let me know if any of you have preferences about these two and we'll hash it out once we're done with Initial Sparks. If nothing else, I'd like to keep discussion of Initial Sparks going until Rater and Mystic Muse finish their readthroughs.

    On that note, on to our next chapter.
    The rwby doesn't offer its kindle version in my region of the kindle store while Aeon Legion does and is cheap enough that I would read it.

  7. - Top - End - #247
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Spoiler: Chapter 19
    Show

    At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.
    Aaah... It's true. Though it is kind of funny.


    Spoiler: Chapter Twenty-three
    Show
    Our Chapter opens with Kestrel and Rei having their fight. It's a rough one, because Kestrel has his iron arm, with its clawed hand and jagged edges. He's even able to pull bits of it off to make weapons. Eventually, Kestrel gets the upper hand and he's got his ferromancy. He says that he won't kill Rei, but this will hurt. It's hard to say what's exactly happening because we only know what Rei is feeling, but I think Kestrel is using ferromancy to restrict Rei's bloodflow until she passes out. Rei has an idea though. As far as we can tell Kestrel's ferromancy mashes the iron particles in the blood into a discreet mass, however iron can be liquid if it's hot enough... Rei is a pyromancer so...

    Yeah, Rei superheats her blood as a last-ditch effort to stay in the fight. And from what it seems, it's as painful as it sounds. It seems like she's actually able to produce hotter flames as well since she can melt whatever chunks of iron Kestrel throws her way. When Kestrel is able to grip on of Rei's hands, and Rei grips Kestrel's other hand... It does not go well for either of them. On of Kestrel's hands is a metal claw, and it is able to draw blood. Superheated, burning blood. Seriously, ow. Kestrel's other hand is not metal so... Yeah, given the amount of heat Rei is generating and how angry she is, his hand is instantly charbroiled. It's pretty clear that neither of them can keep this up. Kestrel uses his iron hand to send a spike through Rei's, which is enough to get her to let go. Yet Kestrel's iron arm has been damaged from the intense heat, including the hooks that hold it to the stump. Rei tears it right off, which gives her an opening to punch Kestrel right in his dumb face. Hard enough to break teeth. With fists that are on fire.

    After winning the fight, Rei understandably wants to know what the what. Kestrel though... he's never been a very forthcoming guy and even when he does give answers they tend to not be very satisfying. Not much has changed then. He first says that Orochi wants Rei's power. Her fire. Only that's not good enough. Rei doesn't care why Orochi wants her, she wants to know why Kestrel agreed to it. Kestrel says that it was only a job. OK... still not a satisfying answer, and one that just makes Rei even more riled up. Still hurting from the realization that Kestrel is not and never was a friend.

    Yet after all this, Rei can't bring herself to incinerate the creep. She remembers what happened to Chloe and all the pain it caused. All she can do is ineptly pummel the ground with her fire. Kestrel sees this as an opening and uses his ferromancy on his remaining, dead hand to make another spike bursting through the remains of his hand. Oh, Kestrel. You really should have quit while you were ahead. Kestrel is immediately consumed by an inferno. Most of him anyway. His remaining arm with the spike protruding from it survived. It got close enough to draw blood from Rei's neck.

    As for Rei herself... She notes that the fire in her blood seems to have sealed her wounds and scorched her clothes. She can't feel anything in her right hand after it was pierced with Kestrel's iron spike. Also, now seems like a great time to pass out, so she does.

    Aside from the fight with Kestrel, there's not much to comment on in this chapter. Rei still holds out hope that she might have meant something to Kestrel. Something other than a target. This speaks to Rei's better nature that despite everything, she still wanted to believe better of Kestrel. This gets unambiguously thrown back in her face though. The door is pretty firmly shut on Kestrel now. Don't worry, Rei. Some part of him will always be with you. I mean... some of him might be in your lungs now.


    You want some Cursed World lore? Well, I'll give you Chapter Twenty-four!

    Next Chapter is also the last one, so I'll tell you where we're at for the next book. Aeon Legion has one vote, and RWBY After the Fall has two.
    Last edited by The Fury; 2020-08-07 at 05:03 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #248
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Alright, let's do this thing.
    Spoiler: Chapter 21
    Show
    Seriously, is there just a slow-burning pile of Tabaco not-unlike the "tire-fire" at the Springfield tire yard? You'd think eventually a mostly abandoned section of town would stop smelling like Tobacco eventually, especially since we only get that description outside.

    Kestral's good at this. t's never a good sign when the bad guy's good at this.

    Rei? He can't kill her if his crotch is on fire. Fire is faster than swords. Nobody ever aims for the groin in these stories.

    Also, this is the part where you act surprised that your friends followed you.

    Verde, if those thoughts always plague your mind then you might want to see a Shrink but this is the worst possible time for self-doubt.

    Oh... she gets off o pain... that's, uh... Something to keep an eye on, in case it becomes a problem.

    stamina is drawn into a drawing.

    the puppet is much creepy.

    "I can be traumatized about killing someone later's" gotta be up there with the greatsof black comedy.

    Verde, always double tap!

    Evil cliffhanger is evil.

    Teasing of the thing, also more hints that the Umbrella is a weapon.

    It's honestly hard to take the Dad puppet seriously knoing what Ella is capable of.It's be suspenseful if I was blind but knowing that a little bit of day old blood will let her tear it apart just makes me think that it came to the wrong neighborhood.

    It's a bad sign that Gamma didn't notice that he'd been shot.


    And it seems that The Fury snipped me with chapter twerty-three, so I'll stop here for now.
    Spoiler: chapter 23
    Show
    well, this'll be fin to read.
    Last edited by Rater202; 2020-08-07 at 05:20 PM.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  9. - Top - End - #249
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    Aaah... It's true. Though it is kind of funny.


    Spoiler: Chapter Twenty-three
    Show
    Our Chapter opens with Kestrel and Rei having their fight. It's a rough one, because Kestrel has his iron arm, with its clawed hand and jagged edges. He's even able to pull bits of it off to make weapons. Eventually, Kestrel gets the upper hand and he's got his ferromancy. He says that he won't kill Rei, but this will hurt. It's hard to say what's exactly happening because we only know what Rei is feeling, but I think Kestrel is using ferromancy to restrict Rei's bloodflow until she passes out. Rei has an idea though. As far as we can tell Kestrel's ferromancy mashes the iron particles in the blood into a discreet mass, however iron can be liquid if it's hot enough... Rei is a pyromancer so...

    Yeah, Rei superheats her blood as a last-ditch effort to stay in the fight. And from what it seems, it's as painful as it sounds. It seems like she's actually able to produce hotter flames as well since she can melt whatever chunks of iron Kestrel throws her way. When Kestrel is able to grip on of Rei's hands, and Rei grips Kestrel's other hand... It does not go well for either of them. On of Kestrel's hands is a metal claw, and it is able to draw blood. Superheated, burning blood. Seriously, ow. Kestrel's other hand is not metal so... Yeah, given the amount of heat Rei is generating and how angry she is, his hand is instantly charbroiled. It's pretty clear that neither of them can keep this up. Kestrel uses his iron hand to send a spike through Rei's, which is enough to get her to let go. Yet Kestrel's iron arm has been damaged from the intense heat, including the hooks that hold it to the stump. Rei tears it right off, which gives her an opening to punch Kestrel right in his dumb face. Hard enough to break teeth. With fists that are on fire.

    After winning the fight, Rei understandably wants to know what the what. Kestrel though... he's never been a very forthcoming guy and even when he does give answers they tend to not be very satisfying. Not much has changed then. He first says that Orochi wants Rei's power. Her fire. Only that's not good enough. Rei doesn't care why Orochi wants her, she wants to know why Kestrel agreed to it. Kestrel says that it was only a job. OK... still not a satisfying answer, and one that just makes Rei even more riled up. Still hurting from the realization that Kestrel is not and never was a friend.

    Yet after all this, Rei can't bring herself to incinerate the creep. She remembers what happened to Chloe and all the pain it caused. All she can do is ineptly pummel the ground with her fire. Kestrel sees this as an opening and uses his ferromancy on his remaining, dead hand to make another spike bursting through the remains of his hand. Oh, Kestrel. You really should have quit while you were ahead. Kestrel is immediately consumed by an inferno. Most of him anyway. His remaining arm with the spike protruding from it survived. It got close enough to draw blood from Rei's neck.

    As for Rei herself... She notes that the fire in her blood seems to have sealed her wounds and scorched her clothes. She can't feel anything in her right hand after it was pierced with Kestrel's iron spike. Also, now seems like a great time to pass out, so she does.

    Aside from the fight with Kestrel, there's not much to comment on in this chapter. Rei still holds out hope that she might have meant something to Kestrel. Something other than a target. This speaks to Rei's better nature that despite everything, she still wanted to believe better of Kestrel. This gets unambiguously thrown back in her face though. The door is pretty firmly shut on Kestrel now. Don't worry, Rei. Some part of him will always be with you. I mean... some of him might be in your lungs now.


    You want some Cursed World lore? Well, I'll give you Chapter Twenty-four!

    Next Chapter is also the last one, so I'll tell you where we're at for the next book. Aeon Legion has one vote, and RWBY After the Fall has two.
    Spoiler: Chapter 23
    Show
    Hard to believe we've hit the end of the climax. It feels so soon! And the next chapter is the end!

    Rei setting herself on fire to the point where her blood literally starts hurting her might not be as metal as what Verde did, but it is PRETTY rad.


    This has been amazing fun. I'm glad everyone has liked my book, and the feedback I've gained from this is unbelievably good. Thank you all so much. I can't believe karma and also my own damn self has decided that next up I'll be buying a RWBY book.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Alright, let's do this thing.
    Spoiler: Chapter 21
    Show
    Seriously, is there just a slow-burning pile of Tabaco not-unlike the "tire-fire" at the Springfield tire yard? You'd think eventually a mostly abandoned section of town would stop smelling like Tobacco eventually, especially since we only get that description outside.

    Kestral's good at this. t's never a good sign when the bad guy's good at this.

    Rei? He can't kill her if his crotch is on fire. Fire is faster than swords. Nobody ever aims for the groin in these stories.

    Also, this is the part where you act surprised that your friends followed you.

    Verde, if those thoughts always plague your mind then you might want to see a Shrink but this is the worst possible time for self-doubt.

    Oh... she gets off o pain... that's, uh... Something to keep an eye on, in case it becomes a problem.

    stamina is drawn into a drawing.

    the puppet is much creepy.

    "I can be traumatized about killing someone later's" gotta be up there with the greatsof black comedy.

    Verde, always double tap!

    Evil cliffhanger is evil.

    Teasing of the thing, also more hints that the Umbrella is a weapon.

    It's honestly hard to take the Dad puppet seriously knoing what Ella is capable of.It's be suspenseful if I was blind but knowing that a little bit of day old blood will let her tear it apart just makes me think that it came to the wrong neighborhood.

    It's a bad sign that Gamma didn't notice that he'd been shot.


    And it seems that The Fury snipped me with chapter twerty-three, so I'll stop here for now.
    Spoiler: chapter 23
    Show
    well, this'll be fin to read.
    Spoiler: Chapter 21
    Show
    So, this is something that gets across better if you just like... have a place in town like Gold Row lke I do, but there are sections of town up here that are frequented enough that they are always in bad repair, always stink, and are always just super unpleasant to go down. The main road down Gold Row has that same unfortunate fate.

    Verde has found a therapist and it is "extreme violence on this puppet". This might not be good for her. Also that dark joke is gonna probably come back some day and ooh boy that's gonna be fun.

    I'd honestly never considered the idea of this scene coming off as less dramatic once you know what Ella is capable of. It completely tracks with what I have planned for her, so it'll be hilarious to see people react to what happens when/if Ella actually goes COMPLETELY off the chain, but... we'll see when we see it.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

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    Rei? No. The appropriate response would be to calmly ask hat the hell he's talking about. Try to shake his confidence by making him question his grasp of the situation.

    Or set his testicles on fire. That is quite an effective solution to the current predicament.

    Rei needs to learn how to quick-draw for this exact situation.

    "What makes you think I'm alone?" would be a more impressive line if things had gone according to plan, methinks.

    Ella's family has magic books.

    Aria clearly senses Ella's power level.

    You know, since so much of Kestral's power is based on the manipulation of blood via molecular iron in the bloodstream/cells, if Ella had trained properly she'd probably been the best person to stop him.

    ...I wonder if this is gonna be a case of "fighting against this is making it worse?" I mean, if Ellasimply tasting blood makes her crave more... Maybe she just needs to drink a little blood every mow and then? I recall a Dresden Files book that has Harry and Thomas running on the beach, the topic comes tovampiric feeding and how Thomas limits his feeding to only small, bare amounts, and then to make a point as soon as they're done running and Harry takes a sip from his water bottle Thomas knocks it out of his hands. "That's what it's like." Maybe she needs a certain ammount of blood, has gotten used to being "hungry" and when she indulges just a tiny bit suddenly she realizes how "hungry" she is and has to fight to keep from fully indulging?

    Or maybe I'm overthinking it.

    Ohh, what does the blank eyes mean?

    What is the umbrella made of? A regular one would have broken before the table did.

    ...Five years ago? When the night club burned down?

    ...Aria, you know as well as I do that that's not gonna get the message across. Cutting abloody swath through ONY and leaving Lord Orochi a criplled wreck might just barely make them consider it.

    Normalizing abuse?


    Orochi and everyone who agrees with him needs to die.

    That's a death flag.

    It's a bit concerning that Verde is enjoying this. God damn she is the vegeta.

    Verde's strangest spell is "razor?"

    And she's smiling as she passes out. Get a therapist girl, that's not healthy.

    Of course, Verde and Gamma actually being there would have been more effective, but a bluff to lead someone into a trap works just as well.

    ...Yeah, that are is disturbing and visceral.
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Spoiler: Chapter 22
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    Rei? No. The appropriate response would be to calmly ask hat the hell he's talking about. Try to shake his confidence by making him question his grasp of the situation.

    Or set his testicles on fire. That is quite an effective solution to the current predicament.

    Rei needs to learn how to quick-draw for this exact situation.

    "What makes you think I'm alone?" would be a more impressive line if things had gone according to plan, methinks.

    Ella's family has magic books.

    Aria clearly senses Ella's power level.

    You know, since so much of Kestral's power is based on the manipulation of blood via molecular iron in the bloodstream/cells, if Ella had trained properly she'd probably been the best person to stop him.

    ...I wonder if this is gonna be a case of "fighting against this is making it worse?" I mean, if Ellasimply tasting blood makes her crave more... Maybe she just needs to drink a little blood every mow and then? I recall a Dresden Files book that has Harry and Thomas running on the beach, the topic comes tovampiric feeding and how Thomas limits his feeding to only small, bare amounts, and then to make a point as soon as they're done running and Harry takes a sip from his water bottle Thomas knocks it out of his hands. "That's what it's like." Maybe she needs a certain ammount of blood, has gotten used to being "hungry" and when she indulges just a tiny bit suddenly she realizes how "hungry" she is and has to fight to keep from fully indulging?

    Or maybe I'm overthinking it.

    Ohh, what does the blank eyes mean?

    What is the umbrella made of? A regular one would have broken before the table did.

    ...Five years ago? When the night club burned down?

    ...Aria, you know as well as I do that that's not gonna get the message across. Cutting abloody swath through ONY and leaving Lord Orochi a criplled wreck might just barely make them consider it.

    Normalizing abuse?


    Orochi and everyone who agrees with him needs to die.

    That's a death flag.

    It's a bit concerning that Verde is enjoying this. God damn she is the vegeta.

    Verde's strangest spell is "razor?"

    And she's smiling as she passes out. Get a therapist girl, that's not healthy.

    Of course, Verde and Gamma actually being there would have been more effective, but a bluff to lead someone into a trap works just as well.

    ...Yeah, that are is disturbing and visceral.
    Spoiler: Chapter 22
    Show
    I still feel like Rei's badass line works because Chloe is here. Also I'm shocked no one has mentioned that when Rei is thinking about all this, she refers to Chloe mentally as someone she loves, in a round about way. "Pride in knowing she’d found the one little thing he’d missed that would swing things in her favor, and love for the person that would do just that."

    Interesting insights on Ella. Also the second time some of my writing has been compared to the Dresden Codex. Should I check that series out, do you think?

    I forget how obvious it gets across in Verde's part of things, but the blank eyes on the mnemonic puppet's is meant to indicate when they're focusing on combat. Aria has now made it clear she is getting in the way of its task, so it is time to kill.

    Five years ago is how long ago the night club burned down, yes. Also when Rei and Chloe's friendship went bad. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

    Verde is... kind of Vegeta-y, yeah. She's an extremely good lancer, if that makes sense.

    I'll admit, Raisermesser is mean playing around with language a bit. It's not razor, razor is more commonly translated as just Raiserer. Raisermesser means something more akin to razor-blade, but can also mean cutthroat. The intent of the spell is that it's meant to be a violent, singular razor-edged blade of wind.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

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    Dresden Files, not Dresden Codex. Completely unrelated.

    Also, to be honest, I was also a bit reminded of Toga from MHA, who needs to drink blood and went insane in part becuase she went without for ten years, but that was not as strong an association as the Dresden Files White Court Vampire comparison.
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    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
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    Dresden Files, not Dresden Codex. Completely unrelated.

    Also, to be honest, I was also a bit reminded of Toga from MHA, who needs to drink blood and went insane in part becuase she went without for ten years, but that was not as strong an association as the Dresden Files White Court Vampire comparison.
    Spoiler
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    Right, right. File, not Codex. Synonyms! My one weakness!

    ... I'll be honest it completely bypassed my own brain because I came up with Ella's character details way before Toga showed up in My Hero, but damn. It does definitely seem more "correct" for lack of a better term to associate Ella with these vampire people though.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    yes Zodi you should check out Dresden Files. its a big name in urban fantasy, it basically starts as "private eye wizard noir in chicago" then basically develops into being a snarky yet smart action series in a world of secret supernatural politics, Harry himself being a good example of someone who frequently uses fire magic as well as many tricks with magic and physics to bring down greater opposition. while the things he faces are about as horrifying as the blood puppets if more stock urban fantasy.

    Of course I'd also recommend Iron Druid Chronicles if you want to read about an ageless irish druid named Atticus O'Sullivan who eventually ran to america because he took one of his gods swords 2000 years ago, is a great look into what Harry Dresden is not: a protagonist who isn't a young guy facing beings far older than he is and has no blasty magic whatsoever and thus plays the politics game far better, whose mindset is probably closer to The Doctor's than any human in fiction, he even has a similar "Doctor/companion" dynamic with the apprentice he takes on.
    Last edited by Lord Raziere; 2020-08-08 at 02:21 PM.
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    yes Zodi you should check out Dresden Files. its a big name in urban fantasy, it basically starts as "private eye wizard noir in chicago" then basically develops into being a snarky yet smart action series in a world of secret supernatural politics, Harry himself being a good example of someone who frequently uses fire magic as well as many tricks with magic and physics to bring down greater opposition. while the things he faces are about as horrifying as the blood puppets if more stock urban fantasy.

    Of course I'd also recommend Iron Druid Chronicles if you want to read about an ageless irish druid named Atticus O'Sullivan who eventually ran to america because he took one of his gods swords 2000 years ago, is a great look into what Harry Dresden is not: a protagonist who isn't a young guy facing beings far older than he is and has no blasty magic whatsoever and thus plays the politics game far better, whose mindset is probably closer to The Doctor's than any human in fiction, he even has a similar "Doctor/companion" dynamic with the apprentice he takes on.
    I'll definitely keep both in mind!

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Spoiler: 23
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    Rei, rookie mistake. Don't aim for where they are, aim for where they will be.

    She catches on quick enough though.

    If he's using his arm as ammo, then he can't shoot her without weakening himself. That's an exploitable flaw, let's see if Rei catches onto it.

    Rei is a berserker trapped in a Mage's body. She needs to start lifting and get some Kung Fu lessons or something. Build up strength... Already an experienced boxer so the hardest part will be transitioning from sports fighting to real fighting.

    Not only is he a more experienced Mancer, but he's also a more experienced fighter, too. It's gonna come down to force of will and raw power.

    "I won't kill you" is the worst thing to say in a fight to the death.

    Yess... Do it, Rei. The flesh is just crude matter, don't let something as petty as exhaustion stop you from kicking his ass. Your blood burns hotter than he'll ever realize! Draw out every last scrap of your latent power and then go beyond! PURASU... ULTURA!

    ...sorry about that. It was either that or a Super Saiyan joke... Or maybe Kaioken, since this is clearly damaging her body. Don't deny tha you were going for a Shonen anger/determination power up, with the prose and imagery you're using here.

    FALCON PUNCH!. I'm not apologizing for that one.

    Okay, I was wrong during the fight with the thugs. This is the Shoryuken.

    So Lord Orochi wants her fire... But didn't prepare Kestral to fight a Pyromancer? So, good. He hasn't read the Evil Overlord List. I'm pretty sure there's a line about underestimating the hero on that.

    Now, I have to imagine that Aria and Rei aren't the only pyromancers. We've got the photo of the fireman beating fire away with an Ax. So what's so special about Rei specifically. Or at least her bloodline. Gamma said that she wasn't like any Mancer he'd ever sensed before, so... God I'm gonna have to read the rest of the series just to answer that one question.

    Kestral is just following orders. The emphasis on his dead eyes in this chapter and the hints from before makes me feel that he's probably dead o n the inside after his Aves training. I'd feel bad for him if we'd seen what he was like before this, but right now he's just a threat that needs to be put down. Rei doesn't have the means to help him even if she wanted to and he probably wouldn't let her help him if she could.

    The death of innocence. A life taken, in defense of one's own, but still. The flower wilts and the rest is silence.

    Okay, let's talk about science! A cremation furnace burns at 760 to 1150 °C (1400 to 2100 °F) and takes between 90 minutes to two hours to completely disintegrate a corpse down to shards of chard bone, which was then ground down into a fine powder to create the "ashes" (more accurately cremains) that are either scattered, interred, or kept in an urn by the family.

    But a corpse burns much more easily than living flesh, as livingflesh is much more resilient and still has all of it's fluids in it: You can't burn water, and moister makes things decay faster, so draining out the blood and lymph is one of the first steps for preparing a cadaver for funeral rights and/or cremation.

    In order for Rei to completely destroy his body so that not even ash's remained in just a few seconds, she would have to make fire that burned as hot as the surface of the sun. At least.

    The sun burns at roughly 5505 degrees celsius. Or 9,941 °F

    This means that Rei, in a pinch, has enough power... Well, I'll let the expert say it.

    I'm not apologizing for that one, either.

    (Almost 10000 would be more accurate, but that's not a meme.)


    And now to confuse the hell out of anyone following along without reading.
    Spoiler: Chapter 24
    Show
    Did she burn herself out?

    This will end in kisses.

    Verde gets it from her mom?

    Yep, death of innocence.

    Didn't end in kisses.

    Oh... Verde needed surgery and her mother was the one to do it? Ow... I don't think that's allowed outside of emergencies for exactly that reason.

    Jesus Christ Dancing on Sunday! Verde is the Vegeta! Sweetheart, constantly training even when badly hurt only works for him becuase his Saiyan Power means he can't permenanlty break and gets stronger every time he gets exhausted or badl injured. It won't have comperable gains for you.It's just gonna mess you up.

    I have no idea how to pronounce her last name.

    Knife will be important later.

    18 isn't a little girl dumbass.

    Kite seems like a ****.

    Luna Crescent and Orochi Yamata are the kind of names that can only exist in this kind of story. That's not a bad thing, but...

    And Luna's particular skills made me think of Taken.


    I do'nt have very many complete final thoughts at this time, I'll need to take a moment to gather them so that'll be a later post... If I don't forget, but...

    It's good. Really good. This is professional "I write for a living and can support myself solely on book profits and related merchandise" quality writing.

    I'm hooked. I'll be picking up the sequel once it's done, or ASAP if I can't get it immediately.
    Last edited by Rater202; 2020-08-09 at 08:15 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
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    Rei, rookie mistake. Don't aim for where they are, aim for where they will be.

    She catches on quick enough though.

    If he's using his arm as ammo, then he can't shoot her without weakening himself. That's an exploitable flaw, let's see if Rei catches onto it.

    Rei is a berserker trapped in a Mage's body. She needs to start lifting and get some Kung Fu lessons or something. Build up strength... Already an experienced boxer so the hardest part will be transitioning from sports fighting to real fighting.

    Not only is he a more experienced Mancer, but he's also a more experienced fighter, too. It's gonna come down to force of will and raw power.

    "I won't kill you" is the worst thing to say in a fight to the death.

    Yess... Do it, Rei. The flesh is just crude matter, don't let something as petty as exhaustion stop you from kicking his ass. Your blood burns hotter than he'll ever realize! Draw out every last scrap of your latent power and then go beyond! PURASU... ULTURA!

    ...sorry about that. It was either that or a Super Saiyan joke... Or maybe Kaioken, since this is clearly damaging her body. Don't deny tha you were going for a Shonen anger/determination power up, with the prose and imagery you're using here.

    FALCON PUNCH!. I'm not apologizing for that one.

    Okay, I was wrong during the fight with the thugs. This is the Shoryuken.

    So Lord Orochi wants her fire... But didn't prepare Kestral to fight a Pyromancer? So, good. He hasn't read the Evil Overlord List. I'm pretty sure there's a line about underestimating the hero on that.

    Now, I have to imagine that Aria and Rei aren't the only pyromancers. We've got the photo of the fireman beating fire away with an Ax. So what's so special about Rei specifically. Or at least her bloodline. Gamma said that she wasn't like any Mancer he'd ever sensed before, so... God I'm gonna have to read the rest of the series just to answer that one question.

    Kestral is just following orders. The emphasis on his dead eyes in this chapter and the hints from before makes me feel that he's probably dead o n the inside after his Aves training. I'd feel bad for him if we'd seen what he was like before this, but right now he's just a threat that needs to be put down. Rei doesn't have the means to help him even if she wanted to and he probably wouldn't let her help him if she could.

    The death of innocence. A life taken, in defense of one's own, but still. The flower wilts and the rest is silence.

    Okay, let's talk about science! A cremation furnace burns at 760 to 1150 °C (1400 to 2100 °F) and takes between 90 minutes to two hours to completely disintegrate a corpse down to shards of chard bone, which was then ground down into a fine powder to create the "ashes" (more accurately cremains) that are either scattered, interred, or kept in an urn by the family.

    But a corpse burns much more easily than living flesh, as livingflesh is much more resilient and still has all of it's fluids in it: You can't burn water, and moister makes things decay faster, so draining out the blood and lymph is one of the first steps for preparing a cadaver for funeral rights and/or cremation.

    In order for Rei to completely destroy his body so that not even ash's remained in just a few seconds, she would have to make fire that burned as hot as the surface of the sun. At least.

    The sun burns at roughly 5505 degrees celsius. Or 9,941 °F

    This means that Rei, in a pinch, has enough power... Well, I'll let the expert say it.

    I'm not apologizing for that one, either.

    (Almost 10000 would be more accurate, but that's not a meme.)


    And now to confuse the hell out of anyone following along without reading.
    Spoiler: Chapter 24
    Show
    Did she burn herself out?

    This will end in kisses.

    Verde gets it from her mom?

    Yep, death of innocence.

    Didn't end in kisses.

    Oh... Verde needed surgery and her mother was the one to do it? Ow... I don't think that's allowed outside of emergencies for exactly that reason.

    Jesus Christ Dancing on Sunday! Verde is the Vegeta! Sweetheart, constantly training even when badly hurt only works for him becuase his Saiyan Power means he can't permenanlty break and gets stronger every time he gets exhausted or badl injured. It won't have comperable gains for you.It's just gonna mess you up.

    I have no idea how to pronounce her last name.

    Knife will be important later.

    18 isn't a little girl dumbass.

    Kite seems like a ****.

    Luna Crescent and Orochi Yamata are the kind of names that can only exist in this kind of story. That's not a bad thing, but...

    And Luna's particular skills made me think of Taken.


    I do'nt have very many complete final thoughts at this time, I'll need to take a moment to gather them so that'll be a later post... If I don't forget, but...

    It's good. Really good. This is professional "I write for a living and can support myself solely on book profits and related merchandise" quality writing.

    I'm hooked. I'll be picking up the sequel once it's done, or ASAP if I can't get it immediately.
    Spoiler: Chapter 23
    Show
    Yeah, I tend to wear my inspirations on my sleeve. I'm doing my own thing with it of course, but Rei breaking through her limits and getting hot enough to even burn herself is definitely inspired by stuff like that. And yeah, this shoryuken moment directly ties back into the first one, and even a bit further to Rei wondering what it might be like to fly through the air. I'm also just a fan of otherwise grounded fights showing that something Substantial has happened by dipping further into the anime well. If your entire story has been realistic sword fighting, the instant a dude shows up who can hit you backwards ten feet with a glancing blow becomes A Big Deal.

    Aah, I love setting hooks and seeing people get drawn in by them. Hehehe~

    Ooh, powerful science! Rei can get pretty damn hot huh!


    Spoiler: Chapter 24
    Show
    Absolutely burned out. After all that, Rei extremely needs the rest. Going by the time, I'm pretty sure she slept nearly twenty four hours.

    Here it is, the one sin of Initial Sparks: the girls don't kiss at the end! They obviously kinda want to, and are going to be going on a date as soon as Rei is out of the hospital, but they do not kiss at the end! It's shocking, especially for me, but! The reason for that is simply that the actual "first kiss" scene in my head is... absolutely beautiful, and will be taking place within the first four chapters of Hidden Embers, because the first real event of that book is Rei and Chloe's date.

    Yeah the hospital did just get attacked by an assassin who killed two nurses and injured a fair amount of others. Verde's mom has had to do a lot of awful things today; operating on both her daughter and her best friend's daughter. It's a lot!

    Verde and her mom's last name is Guérisseuse. If you want to know how to pronounce it. And yeah, Verde's... intensity towards getting stronger and staying fit is a red flag. Girl, you need to rest a bit.

    Luna at least has an excuse, which we'll learn... some day. Orochi's dad was just a ****.


    I'm excited to hear what your complete thoughts are after you've let it all settle. I'm also... completely overjoyed that you (and so many others!) enjoyed my book as much as you have.

    Once Fury posts his last review of the final chapter, and things have settled a bit, I'm going to drop a teaser from what I've written of Hidden Embers so far, in thanks.

  18. - Top - End - #258
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Spoiler: Verde
    Show
    The Verde/Vegeta comparison is doing weird things to my brain. Not that I mind it, it's just... my imagination goes to strange places sometimes. So Vegeta trains hard to go Super-Saiyan, right? Verde trains hard too, only she's not a Saiyan, she's a wizard. So she's training to go Super...Wizard... Oh no...

    Spoiler: oh dear...
    Show


    FINAL CHAPTER! LET'S GO!

    Spoiler: Chapter Twenty-Four
    Show
    Rei wakes up from a comforting, dreamless sleep. A detail that adds a certain small tragedy to the character, is that apparently Rei has always dreamed of nothing but fire. It's all embers and roaring infernos with Rei's dreams. I guess she's never had a happy dream. Not one that she remembers anyway.

    Of course, Rei wakes up in a hospital bed. Seeing as how she got the snot beat out of her and passed out in the street, it makes sense that she'd be put there. Chloe is there when she wakes up, and is a little too relieved that Rei's alright as she enthusiastically hugs her. Ow. Rei still has no feeling in her right hand, and it's been splinted.

    As for everyone else, Verde and Gamma both have some frostbite in addition to their other injuries. They'll both be fine though. Apparently, Verde's mother saw to both of them. And was also so angry at being kept out of the loop, that Gamma was scared. Now, Gamma's a menacing guy. What scares Gamma though? Dr. Mom.

    Rei is out of danger, she's healing and she with a friend. Yet she reflects that she is not OK. She still killed someone, and she has to live with that fact. She pushes that thought down for now as Chloe takes her hand. The upside to all this is that Rei and Chloe seem to have repaired their relationship, or at least rebuilt it into something their both happy with. Rei asks about what Chloe was going to say when Kestrel had her on the phone. It's pretty clear that it was going to be "I love you," but I can see why Rei might want to hear it when neither of them are in mortal peril. Chloe gets flustered and says that she'll tell her if Rei can beat her in a rematch. Rei's wager is a callback to Chloe's from the game tournament-- if Chloe can beat her, Rei will hang out with her, and just her, for a week.

    On the rooftop of the hospital, Verde and Gamma are training. This is despite their injuries. Guys... take a break. Meanwhile Ella is eating a big tray of hospital food as she looks on. Eventually Verde and Gamma decide to rest for a moment. Verde takes this moment to show off her knife, the one that she enchanted with her own blood. It produces a gust of wind when it's drawn from the sheath. Verde takes a moment to catch a glimpse of her reflection with her new battle scar. Verde's upside is that she's got a cooler-looking face. Gamma and Ella both have a look at the knife, the latter with some reluctance. Neither of them know what to make of it. Verde just has a windy cutthroat razor now. Good thing too, as the three agree that ONY will be back for them.

    Speaking of ONY, Kite's been observing things from a distance it seems. (Remember him? Kestrel's buddy?) Maybe "buddy" is too generous of a term, since Kite approaches the scene of Kestrel's fight with Rei and reflects on his failings. Unlike Kestrel, Kite is able to play a long game and he gets what he's after-- a sample of Rei's blood, likely very clean from a combination of Rei's pyromancy and the cold air. What's it for? We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.

    Back at home, Aria slumps into her chair and searches for someone in a book of contacts. She's interrupted by President Yamata of ONY coming onto the news. He's presenting a new in-home robot that can take care of everything from security concerns to childcare. Now, as cool as a robot nanny sounds, Aria recognizes the "robot" for what it really is-- a puppet. No one could every understand how dangerous letting something like that into your home would be.

    Aria finds the contact. Evidently not someone she knew very well, but someone that Samson did. She calls and after a while gets an answer from a woman named Luna Crescent. Aria says that she wants to hire Luna now that Orochi Yamata has found them.

    That's where the chapter and the book ends. For now, there's at least Rei and Chloe resolving their differences and Verde growing into a role that she feels suits her. Also, our heroes made it out alive so that's good. We're already getting things planted for the next book, Hidden Embers. Who is Kite exactly? His description is deliberately sparse, but we have some clue to his personality already. He'll hang out and observe things from a distance. He prides himself on being able to play a "long game," which seems consistent with Kestrel's semi-truthful anecdote.

    Luna Crescent is also largely unknown, but some things can be inferred about her-- she's gruff, possibly a drinker since Aria is not sure if the grogginess in her voice is from sleep, she also knew Samson but didn't remember him right away. Her forgetting about Samson could be taken a number of ways. Maybe she wasn't as close to Samson as Aria thought, maybe she's so used to seeing people killed that she doesn't remember them as well, maybe it's because it happened eighteen years ago. Though she immediately becomes collected and professional as soon as it's mentioned that she has a job.


    I separated out some closing thoughts for the book as a whole as well.

    Spoiler: Closing thoughts
    Show
    On its own, Initial Sparks is a decent outing. Like has been noted here, there's foreshadowing that's subtle enough that it's not immediately obvious on the first readthrough, which makes it good to reread as well. Not only that, it prevents twists from seeming like they came out of nowhere.

    As the first entry to a series, Initial Sparks needs to introduce readers to the world and get them interested, and this is a point where I feel it succeeds. Not just because of its worldbuilding, but because of what it says about the direction of the characters involved. As Rater has noted, Verde seems more OK with the darker side of the supernatural world than Rei and Ella are. Not to say that Verde is definitely going to go in a darker direction, but she and Gamma seem the most cool about everything that happened.

    Now, when I finish reading a book I'll usually do one of two things. Either I'll put it away and not think about it for a while or I'll seek out other write-ups about it, read its TVtropes page and try to experience as much of the work as possible. Initial Sparks is firmly in the latter category. As I get my final thoughts down, I can't help but feel a little ambivalent. I'm glad to have read it, but I don't want to be finished. Hidden Embers will be out eventually, and I think it practically goes without saying that I'll be reading that one as well.

  19. - Top - End - #259
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    Spoiler: Chapter Twenty-Four
    Show
    Speaking of ONY, Kite's been observing things from a distance it seems. (Remember him? Kestrel's buddy?) Maybe "buddy" is too generous of a term, since Kite approaches the scene of Kestrel's fight with Rei and reflects on his failings. Unlike Kestrel, Kite is able to play a long game and he gets what he's after-- a sample of Rei's blood, likely very clean from a combination of Rei's pyromancy and the cold air. What's it for? We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm sure it's fiiiiine. After all, there hasn't even been a single thing that blood's been shown to be important for in this book. Not one. Certainly not multiple.
    Spoiler: Speculation
    Show
    My money's on advanced Rei-puppet. Not for any particular reason. Just because I want to see that happen. What could happen if she didn't win there.
    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.~ That's your horoscope for today.

    01001110011001010111001001100100

  20. - Top - End - #260
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by DataNinja View Post
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm sure it's fiiiiine. After all, there hasn't even been a single thing that blood's been shown to be important for in this book. Not one. Certainly not multiple.
    Spoiler: Speculation
    Show
    My money's on advanced Rei-puppet. Not for any particular reason. Just because I want to see that happen. What could happen if she didn't win there.
    Spoiler: Chapter 24
    Show
    I had my own pet theory. Not quite a Rei-puppet, but sort of close. If ONY can grow mancers like Gamma, how are they able to accomplish it? Maybe they need genetic samples? That would explain why getting Rei's dead remains would be acceptable. Now that Kite's bringing home a blood sample, maybe ONY can start growing their own pyromancer.

  21. - Top - End - #261
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Spoiler: Chapter 24
    Show
    Also, as an aside, this chapter does in part explain why they'd be after Rei, but not necessarily know about the fire in particular. In that the family was known. Possibly they wanted her (presumed latent) genetics, or possibly simply wanted her as a bargaining chip for Aria. Who knows. We'll probably find out later, though.
    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.~ That's your horoscope for today.

    01001110011001010111001001100100

  22. - Top - End - #262
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fury View Post
    Spoiler: Verde
    Show
    The Verde/Vegeta comparison is doing weird things to my brain. Not that I mind it, it's just... my imagination goes to strange places sometimes. So Vegeta trains hard to go Super-Saiyan, right? Verde trains hard too, only she's not a Saiyan, she's a wizard. So she's training to go Super...Wizard... Oh no...

    Spoiler: oh dear...
    Show


    FINAL CHAPTER! LET'S GO!

    Spoiler: Chapter Twenty-Four
    Show
    Rei wakes up from a comforting, dreamless sleep. A detail that adds a certain small tragedy to the character, is that apparently Rei has always dreamed of nothing but fire. It's all embers and roaring infernos with Rei's dreams. I guess she's never had a happy dream. Not one that she remembers anyway.

    Of course, Rei wakes up in a hospital bed. Seeing as how she got the snot beat out of her and passed out in the street, it makes sense that she'd be put there. Chloe is there when she wakes up, and is a little too relieved that Rei's alright as she enthusiastically hugs her. Ow. Rei still has no feeling in her right hand, and it's been splinted.

    As for everyone else, Verde and Gamma both have some frostbite in addition to their other injuries. They'll both be fine though. Apparently, Verde's mother saw to both of them. And was also so angry at being kept out of the loop, that Gamma was scared. Now, Gamma's a menacing guy. What scares Gamma though? Dr. Mom.

    Rei is out of danger, she's healing and she with a friend. Yet she reflects that she is not OK. She still killed someone, and she has to live with that fact. She pushes that thought down for now as Chloe takes her hand. The upside to all this is that Rei and Chloe seem to have repaired their relationship, or at least rebuilt it into something their both happy with. Rei asks about what Chloe was going to say when Kestrel had her on the phone. It's pretty clear that it was going to be "I love you," but I can see why Rei might want to hear it when neither of them are in mortal peril. Chloe gets flustered and says that she'll tell her if Rei can beat her in a rematch. Rei's wager is a callback to Chloe's from the game tournament-- if Chloe can beat her, Rei will hang out with her, and just her, for a week.

    On the rooftop of the hospital, Verde and Gamma are training. This is despite their injuries. Guys... take a break. Meanwhile Ella is eating a big tray of hospital food as she looks on. Eventually Verde and Gamma decide to rest for a moment. Verde takes this moment to show off her knife, the one that she enchanted with her own blood. It produces a gust of wind when it's drawn from the sheath. Verde takes a moment to catch a glimpse of her reflection with her new battle scar. Verde's upside is that she's got a cooler-looking face. Gamma and Ella both have a look at the knife, the latter with some reluctance. Neither of them know what to make of it. Verde just has a windy cutthroat razor now. Good thing too, as the three agree that ONY will be back for them.

    Speaking of ONY, Kite's been observing things from a distance it seems. (Remember him? Kestrel's buddy?) Maybe "buddy" is too generous of a term, since Kite approaches the scene of Kestrel's fight with Rei and reflects on his failings. Unlike Kestrel, Kite is able to play a long game and he gets what he's after-- a sample of Rei's blood, likely very clean from a combination of Rei's pyromancy and the cold air. What's it for? We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.

    Back at home, Aria slumps into her chair and searches for someone in a book of contacts. She's interrupted by President Yamata of ONY coming onto the news. He's presenting a new in-home robot that can take care of everything from security concerns to childcare. Now, as cool as a robot nanny sounds, Aria recognizes the "robot" for what it really is-- a puppet. No one could every understand how dangerous letting something like that into your home would be.

    Aria finds the contact. Evidently not someone she knew very well, but someone that Samson did. She calls and after a while gets an answer from a woman named Luna Crescent. Aria says that she wants to hire Luna now that Orochi Yamata has found them.

    That's where the chapter and the book ends. For now, there's at least Rei and Chloe resolving their differences and Verde growing into a role that she feels suits her. Also, our heroes made it out alive so that's good. We're already getting things planted for the next book, Hidden Embers. Who is Kite exactly? His description is deliberately sparse, but we have some clue to his personality already. He'll hang out and observe things from a distance. He prides himself on being able to play a "long game," which seems consistent with Kestrel's semi-truthful anecdote.

    Luna Crescent is also largely unknown, but some things can be inferred about her-- she's gruff, possibly a drinker since Aria is not sure if the grogginess in her voice is from sleep, she also knew Samson but didn't remember him right away. Her forgetting about Samson could be taken a number of ways. Maybe she wasn't as close to Samson as Aria thought, maybe she's so used to seeing people killed that she doesn't remember them as well, maybe it's because it happened eighteen years ago. Though she immediately becomes collected and professional as soon as it's mentioned that she has a job.


    I separated out some closing thoughts for the book as a whole as well.

    Spoiler: Closing thoughts
    Show
    On its own, Initial Sparks is a decent outing. Like has been noted here, there's foreshadowing that's subtle enough that it's not immediately obvious on the first readthrough, which makes it good to reread as well. Not only that, it prevents twists from seeming like they came out of nowhere.

    As the first entry to a series, Initial Sparks needs to introduce readers to the world and get them interested, and this is a point where I feel it succeeds. Not just because of its worldbuilding, but because of what it says about the direction of the characters involved. As Rater has noted, Verde seems more OK with the darker side of the supernatural world than Rei and Ella are. Not to say that Verde is definitely going to go in a darker direction, but she and Gamma seem the most cool about everything that happened.

    Now, when I finish reading a book I'll usually do one of two things. Either I'll put it away and not think about it for a while or I'll seek out other write-ups about it, read its TVtropes page and try to experience as much of the work as possible. Initial Sparks is firmly in the latter category. As I get my final thoughts down, I can't help but feel a little ambivalent. I'm glad to have read it, but I don't want to be finished. Hidden Embers will be out eventually, and I think it practically goes without saying that I'll be reading that one as well.
    Your insights have always been exquisite, and finally seeing this reach the end has put a mark on my soul that I'll never get off. If I do become popular, this will be the foot stool that propels me. If you don't mind that bit of self agrandization, anyway, hehehe.

    Anyway! As I promised... here is an excerpt from Hidden Embers, from chapter one.

    Spoiler: Hidden Embers Draft 1.0 teaser
    Show
    Chloe was waiting for her, just like she said, a shopping bag flung over one arm. She was dressed in a woolen, sky-blue overcoat, undone to show a simple white dress shirt and beige slacks. A red scarf gently wrapped around her neck, loose enough that she could pull it up to her face if needed. Her hair, naturally wavy and gold in colour, hung around her shoulders.
    Rounding out her ensemble was the dressing and gauze that covered the right side of her face, from forehead to chin. Even from a distance, Rei could see the faint edges of the dark-red burns and scars. Her right arm down to the finger tips had been burned as well, and while it was harder to see, the bandages still lingered there too.
    Rei took a breath, bracing herself for what was about to happen. Chloe saw her and her calm expression broke out into a smile so wide it disappeared into the gauze. Her single eye sparkled like a sapphire.
    “Rei!”
    Chloe half-rushed over to her, comparable to a brisk jog, and embraced her in a tight, warm hug. If it wasn’t for her own bag of pills, medical information, and washed clothing the nurse had hoisted upon her, Rei would have hugged her back twice as hard. Instead, she just pressed her head gently against Chloe’s.
    “Hey, Chloe. How’re you uh, doing?”
    She pulled back, and smiled brightly again. Rei almost felt like she should look away. Like seeing her this close wasn’t allowed, not by her. But she couldn’t take her eyes off her.
    I’m doing well, Rei. Though, better now that I know you can leave the hospital. You look wonderful by the way… how’re you holding up?”
    Her voice was melodic, clear and crisp, with just a hint of haughtiness to it. The concern, the care in her voice- not to mention the hug- made Rei blush a faint red.
    “I’m okay, Chloe. Just… you know. A little scarred up. It’s fine, see?” Rei said with a semi-forced chuckle, waving her right hand. A starburst of pink scar-tissue marked both sides of it.
    Chloe took her hand with a gentle, slow movement. She looked at it a moment, as if taking it all in herself. Rei was sure she saw her chin waver.
    “So,” Rei started. “Um, I like your haircut. It looks nice.”
    “Oh- thank you, Rei. I wasn’t sure you’d notice. I figured, with the rest of it growing back in,” she gestured to her face with her bandaged right hand. “I should just cut it short. Keep it even, you know?”
    There was a hesitance in what Chloe said. She cared a lot for her appearance- perfect hair, fashionable clothing, expertly applied makeup. Rei could still remember the discarded comb she’d seen in Chloe’s own hospital room weeks ago.
    Despite it all she still pulled through, still looked dazzling. Rei felt inadequate next to her; simple burgundy sweatpants and a black t-shirt. They felt like night and day.
    And yet you’re still going out with her, after everything.
    The thought came and went, like a hot flash. Before she could linger on it, Chloe spoke up again.
    “I’m uh, glad you’re okay otherwise. Seeing you all hurt like that was… scary, especially after we’d just made up.”
    Rei nodded. “Yeah. It was kinda touch and go for a bit there. Thanks, by the way… for visiting every so often. I think it helped.”
    “I mean, it’s the least I could do, Rei,” Chloe gave her an almost dismissive laugh- had it not been for what they both went through a month ago Rei’d have believed it was intentional.
    Then she suddenly hitched, as if she remembered something. “Oh, by the way, I brought you this.”
    Chloe rummaged through the shopping bag she had with her, pulling out a jacket. Lighter than her own- really more of a windbreaker than an actual overcoat- with a faded red, almost pink colour to the nylon material.
    “I uh, bought it for you. Since it’s winter and all. I wasn’t sure if you needed a heavier one since-” Chloe looked around the nearly empty hospital lobby. “-well, you know. I hope that’s okay?”
    She was referring to Rei’s pyromancy. The fire in Rei’s veins made it so even the chilly winter seasons of Dulace weren’t that cold. But secret, supernatural flame wasn’t the only thing warming her at the moment. Chloe’s face- what she could see of it- had flushed red.
    She’s blushing!
    Rei gave her a warm grin, and pulled her into a one-armed hug, catching her off guard. Chloe made an adorable squeaking noise.
    “It’s perfect, Chloe. Thanks. So, I guess we’re uh… still on for our uh, date, then?”
    She nodded, then broke away from the hug so Rei could throw the jacket on.
    “Absolutely! I’m… I’ve really been looking forward to it. We’ve been talking for it awhile, but I never realized it’d happen so quickly.”
    Rei nodded in return. “Yeah… I’m not gonna lie Chloe, I’m a little nervous. Five years of barely even talking to each other is a lot of time to make up.”
    Chloe linked her right arm with Rei’s left, and held her hand tightly.
    “True, but we’ve got the time. So… ready to try again?”
    She squeezed Chloe’s hand firmly, and went for the exit.
    “Yeah. I’m ready to try again.”

  23. - Top - End - #263
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    Your insights have always been exquisite, and finally seeing this reach the end has put a mark on my soul that I'll never get off. If I do become popular, this will be the foot stool that propels me. If you don't mind that bit of self agrandization, anyway, hehehe.

    Anyway! As I promised... here is an excerpt from Hidden Embers, from chapter one.

    Spoiler: Hidden Embers Draft 1.0 teaser
    Show
    Chloe was waiting for her, just like she said, a shopping bag flung over one arm. She was dressed in a woolen, sky-blue overcoat, undone to show a simple white dress shirt and beige slacks. A red scarf gently wrapped around her neck, loose enough that she could pull it up to her face if needed. Her hair, naturally wavy and gold in colour, hung around her shoulders.
    Rounding out her ensemble was the dressing and gauze that covered the right side of her face, from forehead to chin. Even from a distance, Rei could see the faint edges of the dark-red burns and scars. Her right arm down to the finger tips had been burned as well, and while it was harder to see, the bandages still lingered there too.
    Rei took a breath, bracing herself for what was about to happen. Chloe saw her and her calm expression broke out into a smile so wide it disappeared into the gauze. Her single eye sparkled like a sapphire.
    “Rei!”
    Chloe half-rushed over to her, comparable to a brisk jog, and embraced her in a tight, warm hug. If it wasn’t for her own bag of pills, medical information, and washed clothing the nurse had hoisted upon her, Rei would have hugged her back twice as hard. Instead, she just pressed her head gently against Chloe’s.
    “Hey, Chloe. How’re you uh, doing?”
    She pulled back, and smiled brightly again. Rei almost felt like she should look away. Like seeing her this close wasn’t allowed, not by her. But she couldn’t take her eyes off her.
    I’m doing well, Rei. Though, better now that I know you can leave the hospital. You look wonderful by the way… how’re you holding up?”
    Her voice was melodic, clear and crisp, with just a hint of haughtiness to it. The concern, the care in her voice- not to mention the hug- made Rei blush a faint red.
    “I’m okay, Chloe. Just… you know. A little scarred up. It’s fine, see?” Rei said with a semi-forced chuckle, waving her right hand. A starburst of pink scar-tissue marked both sides of it.
    Chloe took her hand with a gentle, slow movement. She looked at it a moment, as if taking it all in herself. Rei was sure she saw her chin waver.
    “So,” Rei started. “Um, I like your haircut. It looks nice.”
    “Oh- thank you, Rei. I wasn’t sure you’d notice. I figured, with the rest of it growing back in,” she gestured to her face with her bandaged right hand. “I should just cut it short. Keep it even, you know?”
    There was a hesitance in what Chloe said. She cared a lot for her appearance- perfect hair, fashionable clothing, expertly applied makeup. Rei could still remember the discarded comb she’d seen in Chloe’s own hospital room weeks ago.
    Despite it all she still pulled through, still looked dazzling. Rei felt inadequate next to her; simple burgundy sweatpants and a black t-shirt. They felt like night and day.
    And yet you’re still going out with her, after everything.
    The thought came and went, like a hot flash. Before she could linger on it, Chloe spoke up again.
    “I’m uh, glad you’re okay otherwise. Seeing you all hurt like that was… scary, especially after we’d just made up.”
    Rei nodded. “Yeah. It was kinda touch and go for a bit there. Thanks, by the way… for visiting every so often. I think it helped.”
    “I mean, it’s the least I could do, Rei,” Chloe gave her an almost dismissive laugh- had it not been for what they both went through a month ago Rei’d have believed it was intentional.
    Then she suddenly hitched, as if she remembered something. “Oh, by the way, I brought you this.”
    Chloe rummaged through the shopping bag she had with her, pulling out a jacket. Lighter than her own- really more of a windbreaker than an actual overcoat- with a faded red, almost pink colour to the nylon material.
    “I uh, bought it for you. Since it’s winter and all. I wasn’t sure if you needed a heavier one since-” Chloe looked around the nearly empty hospital lobby. “-well, you know. I hope that’s okay?”
    She was referring to Rei’s pyromancy. The fire in Rei’s veins made it so even the chilly winter seasons of Dulace weren’t that cold. But secret, supernatural flame wasn’t the only thing warming her at the moment. Chloe’s face- what she could see of it- had flushed red.
    She’s blushing!
    Rei gave her a warm grin, and pulled her into a one-armed hug, catching her off guard. Chloe made an adorable squeaking noise.
    “It’s perfect, Chloe. Thanks. So, I guess we’re uh… still on for our uh, date, then?”
    She nodded, then broke away from the hug so Rei could throw the jacket on.
    “Absolutely! I’m… I’ve really been looking forward to it. We’ve been talking for it awhile, but I never realized it’d happen so quickly.”
    Rei nodded in return. “Yeah… I’m not gonna lie Chloe, I’m a little nervous. Five years of barely even talking to each other is a lot of time to make up.”
    Chloe linked her right arm with Rei’s left, and held her hand tightly.
    “True, but we’ve got the time. So… ready to try again?”
    She squeezed Chloe’s hand firmly, and went for the exit.
    “Yeah. I’m ready to try again.”
    Spoiler: Reaction
    Show

  24. - Top - End - #264
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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    Your insights have always been exquisite, and finally seeing this reach the end has put a mark on my soul that I'll never get off. If I do become popular, this will be the foot stool that propels me. If you don't mind that bit of self agrandization, anyway, hehehe.

    Anyway! As I promised... here is an excerpt from Hidden Embers, from chapter one.

    Spoiler: Hidden Embers Draft 1.0 teaser
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    Chloe was waiting for her, just like she said, a shopping bag flung over one arm. She was dressed in a woolen, sky-blue overcoat, undone to show a simple white dress shirt and beige slacks. A red scarf gently wrapped around her neck, loose enough that she could pull it up to her face if needed. Her hair, naturally wavy and gold in colour, hung around her shoulders.
    Rounding out her ensemble was the dressing and gauze that covered the right side of her face, from forehead to chin. Even from a distance, Rei could see the faint edges of the dark-red burns and scars. Her right arm down to the finger tips had been burned as well, and while it was harder to see, the bandages still lingered there too.
    Rei took a breath, bracing herself for what was about to happen. Chloe saw her and her calm expression broke out into a smile so wide it disappeared into the gauze. Her single eye sparkled like a sapphire.
    “Rei!”
    Chloe half-rushed over to her, comparable to a brisk jog, and embraced her in a tight, warm hug. If it wasn’t for her own bag of pills, medical information, and washed clothing the nurse had hoisted upon her, Rei would have hugged her back twice as hard. Instead, she just pressed her head gently against Chloe’s.
    “Hey, Chloe. How’re you uh, doing?”
    She pulled back, and smiled brightly again. Rei almost felt like she should look away. Like seeing her this close wasn’t allowed, not by her. But she couldn’t take her eyes off her.
    I’m doing well, Rei. Though, better now that I know you can leave the hospital. You look wonderful by the way… how’re you holding up?”
    Her voice was melodic, clear and crisp, with just a hint of haughtiness to it. The concern, the care in her voice- not to mention the hug- made Rei blush a faint red.
    “I’m okay, Chloe. Just… you know. A little scarred up. It’s fine, see?” Rei said with a semi-forced chuckle, waving her right hand. A starburst of pink scar-tissue marked both sides of it.
    Chloe took her hand with a gentle, slow movement. She looked at it a moment, as if taking it all in herself. Rei was sure she saw her chin waver.
    “So,” Rei started. “Um, I like your haircut. It looks nice.”
    “Oh- thank you, Rei. I wasn’t sure you’d notice. I figured, with the rest of it growing back in,” she gestured to her face with her bandaged right hand. “I should just cut it short. Keep it even, you know?”
    There was a hesitance in what Chloe said. She cared a lot for her appearance- perfect hair, fashionable clothing, expertly applied makeup. Rei could still remember the discarded comb she’d seen in Chloe’s own hospital room weeks ago.
    Despite it all she still pulled through, still looked dazzling. Rei felt inadequate next to her; simple burgundy sweatpants and a black t-shirt. They felt like night and day.
    And yet you’re still going out with her, after everything.
    The thought came and went, like a hot flash. Before she could linger on it, Chloe spoke up again.
    “I’m uh, glad you’re okay otherwise. Seeing you all hurt like that was… scary, especially after we’d just made up.”
    Rei nodded. “Yeah. It was kinda touch and go for a bit there. Thanks, by the way… for visiting every so often. I think it helped.”
    “I mean, it’s the least I could do, Rei,” Chloe gave her an almost dismissive laugh- had it not been for what they both went through a month ago Rei’d have believed it was intentional.
    Then she suddenly hitched, as if she remembered something. “Oh, by the way, I brought you this.”
    Chloe rummaged through the shopping bag she had with her, pulling out a jacket. Lighter than her own- really more of a windbreaker than an actual overcoat- with a faded red, almost pink colour to the nylon material.
    “I uh, bought it for you. Since it’s winter and all. I wasn’t sure if you needed a heavier one since-” Chloe looked around the nearly empty hospital lobby. “-well, you know. I hope that’s okay?”
    She was referring to Rei’s pyromancy. The fire in Rei’s veins made it so even the chilly winter seasons of Dulace weren’t that cold. But secret, supernatural flame wasn’t the only thing warming her at the moment. Chloe’s face- what she could see of it- had flushed red.
    She’s blushing!
    Rei gave her a warm grin, and pulled her into a one-armed hug, catching her off guard. Chloe made an adorable squeaking noise.
    “It’s perfect, Chloe. Thanks. So, I guess we’re uh… still on for our uh, date, then?”
    She nodded, then broke away from the hug so Rei could throw the jacket on.
    “Absolutely! I’m… I’ve really been looking forward to it. We’ve been talking for it awhile, but I never realized it’d happen so quickly.”
    Rei nodded in return. “Yeah… I’m not gonna lie Chloe, I’m a little nervous. Five years of barely even talking to each other is a lot of time to make up.”
    Chloe linked her right arm with Rei’s left, and held her hand tightly.
    “True, but we’ve got the time. So… ready to try again?”
    She squeezed Chloe’s hand firmly, and went for the exit.
    “Yeah. I’m ready to try again.”
    Daaaaw.

    There's probably more to say about this but....

    Daaaaw.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
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    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    I feel like I have died because I didn't expect such a thing like this to... happen.

    I have a feeling one of you is responsible, and I don't particularly mind. This sounds like a weird way to phrase it but my brain is exploding since I didn't ever think I'd ever be notable enough that someone would do this.

    also my last name is combined, McHugh, no space
    Last edited by LaZodiac; 2020-08-14 at 08:38 PM.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac View Post
    I feel like I have died because I didn't expect such a thing like this to... happen.

    I have a feeling one of you is responsible, and I don't particularly mind. This sounds like a weird way to phrase it but my brain is exploding since I didn't ever think I'd ever be notable enough that someone would do this.

    also my last name is combined, McHugh, no space
    Guilty.

    Tvtropes automatically adds spaces when a word is camel-cased

    So McDonald automatically becomes Mc Donald.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    Guilty.

    Tvtropes automatically adds spaces when a word is camel-cased

    So McDonald automatically becomes Mc Donald.
    To reprise my editor role,
    Spoiler
    Show
    I'm pretty sure you want "medically" in pint-sized powerhouse, not medially. She's not in the middle of anything.
    Well, besides magicing.

    Also, it's "mnemonic," (as in, based on memories/patterns), not "memonic."

    Sanguimancy and Sanguimancer are the more proper terms, I believe, rather than Sanguinmancy. In addition, it should cause extreme bloodthirst, instead of extreme bloodthirsty, and loathe has an e. Also, the puppets sure do have power relating to blood.

    Bloody Murder has double-capitalized IT's, which I do enough to know how frustrating it is. Also "as stabbed" instead of "was stabbed."

    Under Shout Out, "which as described is" in the first example should have is and as switched.
    We now return to your regularly scheduled peanut gallery.
    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.~ That's your horoscope for today.

    01001110011001010111001001100100

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    "as described is" is correct. It is not only the name, but the way Knights of the Star is described, that makes it a reference to Saint Seiya.

    The most I'd need to do is add comas.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
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    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    "as described is" is correct. It is not only the name, but the way Knights of the Star is described, that makes it a reference to Saint Seiya.

    The most I'd need to do is add comas.
    Oh, no, you're right. My error, I was reading it wrong.
    And this is why I'm not paid to do that.
    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.~ That's your horoscope for today.

    01001110011001010111001001100100

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