What's your favorite headcanon? 3: The mods must be crazy

[Caledonian]

Mrs. Frizzle, of the Magic School Bus series, is secretly River Song. (Which makes the Doctor Mr. Frizzle, I suppose. Still not a ginger.)

[Wizard_Lizard]

Palpatine was a Jedi assigned to a black ops program to maintain the illusion the Sith still existed so the Republic wouldn't question any of the Jedi's actions including securing force users to insure they didn't end up joining the other Force Traditions.
Palpatine however messed up being possessed by the Sith Spirit imprisoned beneath the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.
It modified the Clone Troopers program to obey the Order however it misled the Jedi into thinking they obeyed them instead of the Supreme Chancellor.
Anakin was the result of a secret breeding program similar to the one that bred Maul however when Palpatine successfully committed suicide via Vader the spirit was trapped in Vader's mask until it came into Ben's possession.

That's oddly specific and I love it.

[Precure]

Haley Starshine is not exactly human.

[Zea mays]

One the I’ve cone across recently And pleases me greatly: Susan couldn’t board a certain fateful train and die (and go to a super-duper platonic heaven) with her sibling, because she was too busy hanging out with her nutty old grandfather in his magic police-box.

[Khedrac]

One the I’ve cone across recently And pleases me greatly: Susan couldn’t board a certain fateful train and die (and go to a super-duper platonic heaven) with her sibling, because she was too busy hanging out with her nutty old grandfather in his magic police-box.

If this is the Susan that lost three siblings and her parents in the train crash, then I really like the idea! Nice one.

[The Glyphstone]

Entirely different from the Susan whose godfather TALKS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, though.

[Fyraltari]

Entirely different from the Susan whose godfather TALKS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, though.

I know a Susan who has a grandfather who talks in all caps. Not sure if this is the one you mean but if it is, people (usually) have two grandfathers.

[Wizard_Lizard]

I know a Susan who has a grandfather who talks in all caps. Not sure if this is the one you mean but if it is, people (usually) have two grandfathers.

I think I know who you're talking about? The grandfather with the white horse?

[NovenFromTheSun]

Return of the Jedi:

Boba Fett was seconds away from saying “screw ‘no disintegrations’!” before Han accidentally activated his jetpack.

[Bohandas]

Speaking of Star Wars, this is totally my new headcanon for how the Death Star works

[Vizzerdrix]

Snow piercer is the frozen future of charley and the chocolate factory.

Episodes 1, 2, and 3, are replaced with the YouTube videos titled what if <episode> was good.

Disney Star Wars is all one alternate universe.

Pacific Rim never had a sequel.

[Bohandas]

EVERY creature in the Exalted universe has some part of its soul that us equivalent to a Yozi's fetich. Destroying this part of the soul is how Diamond Voice's power to force people into new identities works.

[Millstone85]

Of the various logos that I have seen for the Shark Punching Center, the most famous alternate-reality take on the SCP Foundation, this is IMO the absolute definitive one:

It really captures the absurdity and badassery of an universe where the Foundation's every activity somehow involves the noble art of "selachian pugilism".

Now, back to the main Foundation universe. Or rather, my version of it.

In addition to the steampunk Cogwork Orthodox Church and the web-enthusiast Church of Maxwellism, there is a third denomination within the Church of the Broken God. This one is called the School of the Cage Perennial.

It was created by defectors from the other groups, who joined the Foundation without renouncing their personal faith in the Broken God. They adopted a new core belief, that seeking and confining the anomalous is the best way to honor Mekhane's sacrifice, when the god turned his own chest into a great brass cage to imprison Yaldabaoth. They have been particularly active in Foundation projects involving the automation of containment procedures, such as the Artificial Intelligence Applications Division.

Some have denounced the School as an obvious and inexplicably successful attempt by the Church to infiltrate the Foundation. Others have pushed the theory that the Foundation actually began as a Mekhanite sect, and that the real SCP-001 may even be the Cage itself.

I have thought about trying to write my first SCP with this premise, but the website has become really really intimidating with its standards.

[Fyraltari]

Of the various logos that I have seen for the Shark Punching Center, the most famous alternate-reality take on the SCP Foundation, this is IMO the absolute definitive one:

It really captures the absurdity and badassery of an universe where the Foundation's every activity somehow involves the noble art of "selachian pugilism".

Okay that's just great!

Now, back to the main Foundation universe. Or rather, my version of it.

In addition to the steampunk Cogwork Orthodox Church and the web-enthusiast Church of Maxwellism, there is a third denomination within the Church of the Broken God. This one is called the School of the Cage Perennial.

It was created by defectors from the other groups, who joined the Foundation without renouncing their personal faith in the Broken God. They adopted a new core belief, that seeking and confining the anomalous is the best way to honor Mekhane's sacrifice, when the god turned his own chest into a great brass cage to imprison Yaldabaoth. They have been particularly active in Foundation projects involving the automation of containment procedures, such as the Artificial Intelligence Applications Division.

Some have denounced the School as an obvious and inexplicably successful attempt by the Church to infiltrate the Foundation. Others have pushed the theory that the Foundation actually began as a Mekhanite sect, and that the real SCP-001 may even be the Cage itself.

I have thought about trying to write my first SCP with this premise, but the website has become really really intimidating with its standards.

I get you, I've been putting off stopping lurking nd writing some SCPs of my own for a long while now.

Come on, we can do it!

[HandofShadows]

Pacific Rim never had a sequel.

How is this headcanon? They didn't make a sequel for Pacific Rim just as Highlander never had one either.

Of the various logos that I have seen for the Shark Punching Center, the most famous alternate-reality take on the SCP Foundation, this is IMO the absolute definitive one:

You really can't "headcanon" the SCP Foundation very well since every story is a "headcanon" as the SCPverse has no canon to start with.

[Wookieetank]

...the SCPverse has no canon to start with.

From the List of Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to do:

37. Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.
1. Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.
2. Or "Chainsaw cannons"
1. Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.

Emphasis mine

[BisectedBrioche]

It's an oldie, but a goldie; the Samus Aran (of Metroid fame) trans headcanon!

The headcanon:

• She was recently out (or at the very least openly questioning her gender) as a child on with zero stigma on K-2L (since it's the future, and transphobia is long dead). Hence why her hair has the look of short hair that's seen some resistance to having it cut shorter again (my own hair looked similar when I was growing out an egg haircut).
• This was the reason Old Bird struck up a conversation with her (the Chozo, being a nearly extinct race who live for centuries, probably know about gender incongruence but don't have much experience with it).
• Her medical records weren't updated prior to the space pirate attack. While the Chozo probably filled in a few forms here and there when they made contact with the federation, this muddled up paperwork would explain why some people are under the impression, in universe, that she's a man (or a robot, or a myth) until they're corrected (I can attest that a few dusty old records not being uptodate here and there can do this) despite her being the federation's "champion" prior to Fusion.
• She was probably able to transition without a problem when she was growing up with the Chozo, but would have faced some issues (thanks to the aforementioned paperwork issues) after joining the police/military/whatever (the canon here isn't clear thanks to translation issues).
• This also explains why she wears a full face of makeup when she's alone in her ship (she probably wasn't allowed before) and relaxes in that outfit in one of the unlockable images in Fusion.

Meta text interpretations:

• She's of course the poster child (and on TVT, the trope namer) for Samus is a Girl. Aside from the obvious, getting misgendered because of an assumption that an unidentified person is male is one of the lesser known effects of transmisogyny.
• As you may have heard, she was referred to with a word for trans people that may or may not have been a transphobic slur by one of the Super Metroid devs (there's a massive wall of arguments about the state of LGBTQ rights in Japan and what the word means that I'm nowhere near qualified to talk about). Either way, it was probably a joke, but...no takebacksies (unless Nintendo come out and say she's cisgender, which is even more unlikely than canonically making her trans)!
• In the course of the series she's been modified with both Chozo and Metroid DNA. Transhumanism (not to be confused with one another despite using the same prefix, mind you) and trans rights have often been connected (medical transitions are a low key form of transhumanism; the idea of "morphological autonomy" vibes with a lot of trans folk; some people even - jokingly - argue that how a cyberpunk setting deals with trans people is a good way to decide how good its worldbuilding is).

[Rynjin]

I think unlikely, but not by far the most unlikely theory I've heard that later turned out to be true. Japan has a weird mix of tolerance and intolerance when it comes to LGBTQ issues, from what I know they don't mind people being gay "for fun" (it is intensely frowned upon to not to..."do your duty" and have kids, though), and they have a lot of (what I consider) positive trans representation in media already...so it's definitely possible, though I think the implications are likely unintentional mostly on the grounds that 1980's videogame writing was subtle. If, of course, you spell subtle...

[Bohandas]

Sutter Kane from In The Mouth of Madness is either an avatar or a cultist of Nyarlathotep

[Bohandas]

In addition to simply being the chaos gods of different things, Warhammer 40K's ruinous powers also each embody a fundamentally different sense of the word "chaos". Nurgle is entropy, Khorne is discord, Tzeentch is change, and Slaanesh is lawlessness.

[Bohandas]

The Disney villains Cruella De Vil (from 101 Dalmatians and its spinoffs) and Norton Nimnul (from Rescue Rangers) are related in some way. Nimnul shares a very unique trait with Cruella's nephew Hunter (from 101 Dalmatian Street). Namely, they're the only humans who seem to realize that the animals in their respective series are intelligent.

[gooddragon1]

Related to the video game CARRION.

CARRION is an experimental weapon from DNA discovered that was originally from something out of the equivalent of the far realms.

It's project name is C.A.R.R.I.O.N.
Consumptive
Adaptative
Rapid Reshaping
Intelligent
Organic
Nemesis

The original escaped from...

Spoiler: Endgame Spoiler

Show

... the container below where you start the game.

It actually has the ability to undergo supernatural evolutions. It was supposed to fight rebels underground as a living weapon. Then when it's task was completed, a special chemical compound would be released to kill it. Unfortunately, it's ability to undergo evolutions beyond what is naturally possible granted it resistance to the compound. The weapons used against it heavily incorporate the compound in their functionality. That's why a metal mine cart falling on CARRION does no damage to it. It is supernaturally tough.

When you save, and in particular load, CARRION is sending its memory backwards in time. That's why all your progress is reset. This is also possibly partially responsible for its escape.

When CARRION eats someone, even part of them perhaps, it gains all of their intelligence and knowledge. This is how it can operate a nuclear reactor 5 minutes after seeing it for the first time.

CARRION isn't malevolent (At least in my playthrough I avoided eating unarmed humans in almost every case). It's trying to escape the torturous experimentation that would be done to it (and was done to it).

[/HEADCANON]

[Lord Raziere]

Superman was addicted to red kryptonite during the Silver Age. It was the only way he could do the crazy things the comic book plots at the time were asking him to do, so the entire time in the Silver age he was high on red kryptonite changing his behavior. When it ended, it actually allowed him to clean up his act now that the world was getting more sensible and he needed his faculties clear for facing the darker ages ahead.

[Lvl45DM!]

The Cthulhu 'gods' arent really gods. They're just big monsters. The only real power most of them have, beyond being big monsters, is that modern humans are self-centred twits who can't imagine not being top dog. They actually are even weaker than that, since they are poisoned by stars 99% of the time. Thats why when Conan goes up against them he wrecks their crap. Conan takes on big monsters all the time.

Nyarlathotep is the exception. He actually has power, since he has weaponized our fears of what things like him can do. The other 'gods' look down on him as weak, beacuse to them, as mindless alien beings, hes just a little shapeshifter.


In the Hellblazer universe (not DC at large) the Laughing Magician was the first conman. He tricked people into thinking he had power with tricks. Since belief=power he actually gained power. Hes call the Laughing Magician, since he's still giggling about how well that turned out for him

[BisectedBrioche]

The Cthulhu 'gods' arent really gods. They're just big monsters. The only real power most of them have, beyond being big monsters, is that modern humans are self-centred twits who can't imagine not being top dog. They actually are even weaker than that, since they are poisoned by stars 99% of the time. Thats why when Conan goes up against them he wrecks their crap. Conan takes on big monsters all the time.

Nyarlathotep is the exception. He actually has power, since he has weaponized our fears of what things like him can do. The other 'gods' look down on him as weak, beacuse to them, as mindless alien beings, hes just a little shapeshifter.


In the Hellblazer universe (not DC at large) the Laughing Magician was the first conman. He tricked people into thinking he had power with tricks. Since belief=power he actually gained power. Hes call the Laughing Magician, since he's still giggling about how well that turned out for him

Isn't that the point of the Lovecraft mythos? The Elder Ones aren't "Gods" per se, just so far beyond humans we can't possibly understand them (much in the same way we'd be confused if ants started chanting our name and trying to get our attention). Realising the nature of the universe is what drives people mad (keeping in mind that Lovecraft was indeed a self centred twit who couldn't imagine not being top dog).

[Fyraltari]

The Old Ones (Cthulhu and Co.) aren't gods but the Outer Gods (Azathoth, Yog-Sothoth, Shub-Niggurath and Nyarlatothep) definitely are.

Edit: In fact Cthulhu is a priest of Ol' Yoggy-Sotty.

[Lvl45DM!]

Isn't that the point of the Lovecraft mythos? The Elder Ones aren't "Gods" per se, just so far beyond humans we can't possibly understand them (much in the same way we'd be confused if ants started chanting our name and trying to get our attention). Realising the nature of the universe is what drives people mad (keeping in mind that Lovecraft was indeed a self centred twit who couldn't imagine not being top dog).

Yeah, I'm just saying that everyone who goes mad is a dope, rather than it being a natural consequence of reality being revealed.

[Bohandas]

Yeah, I'm just saying that everyone who goes mad is a dope, rather than it being a natural consequence of reality being revealed.

Agreed. Driving people mad definitely isn't one of the Great Old Ones' powers nor a direct consequence of knowing of their existence. Most of the characters that ended up in madhouses were assumed mad when they told their stories, several others were possessed, most of the ones who actually did go mad had some sort of PTSD (or shellshock, as it would have been called in those days), and the guy in The Repairer of Reputations hit his head falling off a horse (although of course that particular story was by Robert Chambers rather than Lovecraft)

[Kantaki]

In R.O.T.O.R.* the whole movie between Coldyron getting arrested and him leaving the police department is just him making up some story to get away with killing Sonya, her fiance and some random cop.

Not mine, got it from SchleFaZ.
They base it on the movie starting at night with Coldyron kneeling over the dead girl and some random shotgun guy claiming he killed a cop, while the alleged final battle against the "killer robot" happens in the morning and Sonya is very much alive.

Add in the various logic errors, plot holes, beyond nonsensical technobabble and a meandering narration that would be more interesting if it was the phone book and the whole thing makes a whole lot of sense.
So, yeah... Headcanon accepted.

*Bad movie. Like not even "so bad it's good", just bad bad.

[Bohandas]

I think the mayor from The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Juggalo. He's got the black and white facepaint, on one of his faces at least.