Silly Plots 4: It's not particularly silly, is it?

[Recaiden]

They're not the simplest directions. And you definitely shouldn't try to cross-reference them with a map! But they'll get you to a wizard if you follow them.

Mei is tempted to talk about the relative difficulty of approaching random people. But it sounds like June is one of the people for whom its easy. To just talk to people, with no script, no framework. Just people! So they probably wouldn't understand her if she did.
"They have such curious sayings where you're from. What kind of food is an elephant?" she inquires. Obviously it's a substantial food, maybe a sort of feast?

She twines a bit of her space-colored hair between her fingers to get a look at. "It does, doesn't it? Much better than plain black. It suits you too."

Now, one of them needs to take the initiative for the next part of the date, or to end it here.

[5a Violista]

June did get cursed to mix up North and South when it comes to landmarks, but it only seems to apply to places that were previously known. Tangentially related to that, which I had completely forgotten until now, June has a pierced left ear which has a small wedge-shaped nail in it.

"An elephant is basically...well, it's not the biggest animal, but it's one of them. Tastes....course and oily, is probably the way to describe it."

"Thanks," June says, whose hair is a slightly too short to see without a mirror. "Probably hard to find clothes that actually match, but I doubt anyone would care." Besides, so long as something doesn't go wrong and nobody has any sort of cosmetic-magic allergy, it goes away in a few hours.

Unfortunately, June hadn't really considered what happens after the shakes. Probably would have had something in mind and planned, but, sadly, it's instead a potentially-awkward conversation: "So....um, did you have anything planned for after this? I mean, is there anything you want to do? Should we, like, do something to get to know each other better? Sorry, closest I've ever been to on a blind date before was when I asked someone out but it was one of those awkward 'but are we going out as friends or is this a date' sort of things." Which isn't actually all that similar to a blind date, but it definitely feels like a blind date.

[Recaiden]

"Well, sometimes big things are more like setting up blocks, where once you finish, it all happens at once." Mei muses.

She shakes her head.
"No particular plans, as I didn't know how the date would go."
"I could get to know you better. How do you normally do that, where you're from?"
A bit unfair to ask that of June, but it's what she says.

[5a Violista]

It's perfectly fair, actually! Everyone knows that it's the responsibility of the person who brought it up to plan out and decide everything. Otherwise, why would people have so much difficulty talking about plans and such?

"Um, well, normally..." June says slowly, thinking really hard about it, "doing things together that both of you enjoy doing. Or maybe just something that one person really wants to do." Yeah. That's how it is, probably.

[Recaiden]

Well, it's because people have trouble trusting each other. Or making good plans.

"Well, the only thing you've told me you like doing is playing music. What else do you want to do?" They could play music. Mei wouldn't be completely awful at it. But it's not exciting, and it doesn't reveal any more about June, which is the whole point.
She tries to take June's hand and lead the way out of the smoothie shop.
"Really though, the best way to get to know someone is to go on a perilous quest together!"

[5a Violista]

"I like being on mountains and beaches?" June suggests. But those are pretty normal things, like hiking and camping and beaching and stargazing and so on.

As it happens, June is actually pretty easy to drag by the hand and pull out: June does weigh about half of what you'd expect for someone that size.
June goes along, though, with no attempts to resist as soon as they start actually going.

"I've never actually been on a perilous quest, before," is something that's said but doesn't sound anywhere close to protesting. Perilous things, sure. Things that could be called quests, yes. But not the two of them together. "So I don't really know what to do."

[Zefir]

[The Underground]


Spike shakes their head (only slightly, mindful of their antennae) "No, we have no location to rebuild electronics, for data or anything else."

Mia is the expert, so, no reason not to follow her advice.

They assume the same, it's unlikely the ship will get any more destroyed. How bad could things go before they excavate a way in and go through the data?

[The Underground]

"Then set this on the list of Tasks." Mia says. "We have some time. As mentioned we need to wait for the readings so you can prepare a place. I know it is a bit spntanious, btu you will be happy to look at some data again."

[Recaiden]

[Blind Date]

"Oh, I do ha- know some nice beaches and mountains we could see, if you don't mind a bit of a trip."
Let's see, where did she park her spaceship. Ah, right over there.

Luckily, Mei has forgotten how dense humans usually are, and sees nothing strange about June here.

"Or I guess the ocean isn't that far away here, if you prefer. Hmm?"

[5a Violista]

[Blind Date]

Most humans like June are pretty dense, though: they still think that Mei is very much human too.

"Um.........mountains, please," June decides, only needing a little thought. Ever since becoming made of mushroom, direct sunlight has been slightly more uncomfortable. Still feels great especially at beaches, but it's just...a little uncomfortable. If June had known going to the beach was on the table, would've probably brought one of the weak succubus potions just to be more comfortable in so much sun for so long.

Also.
Possibly more importantly.
After experiencing those potions and giving it a lot of thought and testing out basic mushroom-based shapechanging, June is very much experimenting regarding gender identity and so would feel really really lost when trying trying to decide what kind of swimsuit to wear. "I don't mind a little trip."

When it becomes clear that that spaceship is Mei's, June asks, "So that one's yours? Is it hard to control?"

[Recaiden]

Going to the beach didn't have to be on the table, but then June brought it up.

Mei nods, then shakes her head.
"Not for me. No one else can really manage it."
The ship, which is shaped kinda like a stingray made of coppery-silver metal, starts powering up and extends a ramp down from the top for them to come aboard. People go in the cabin/bridge area on the top, where they won't interfere with the delicate mechanisms of being a spaceship.

As soon as they're up the ramp, the ship will leap into the sky and tilt nearly 90 degrees - which somehow won't throw the passengers from the decks or anything, just make you a little dizzy at worst, as it's doing something with the gravity and the air to make it all simply work.

"You have any stories about mountain trips of yours?"

[Rebonack]

[Enchanted Forest]

Brambles lash around Melissa, attempting to drag the nekomata into the mire. She's not about to let THAT happen and diffuses into a dark mist, leaving only her eyes and mouth to slowly fade from view.

Adir busies himself with chopping his way through the brambles. At the touch of the steel they wither and crumble as if there wasn't any substance to them to begin with.

Which there isn't.

They're little more than the dark will of the hag made manifest and the bit of cold iron exposes them for the lie they are.

The hag, none the less, isn't giving up. With her cauldron being pulled further away the nightmarish old woman leaps from her perch, her dress billowing around her, before rocketing toward father and daughter. She halts mere inches away, all writhing black stringy hair and grasping fingers. She tries reaching for Cassie, but it is almost as if her hands are getting tangled up in something insubstantial. With a howl of rage the hag will try to rip away the protective shroud of Blue.

"You gave the name of Cassie-Cute-As-Puppies to my servant! SHE IS MINE!" the hag bellows.

No doubt Adir and Sarget would disagree with the hideous ogress' assessment.

Melissa sure does.

The huge cat sudden appears again, teeth first, chomping down on the hag's leg.

[5a Violista]

June only had to bring it up because Mei didn't.

June enters the spaceship.

"Wow, it looks really nice in here," June says, looking around the spaceship.

It feels weird, being tilted like this but somehow not falling. June wonders how this works, but figures it's probably really complicated and would probably take too long to explain satisfactorily.

"Yeah, I have a couple," June says. "Like, one time, went up in the mountains for my birthday with a bunch of my friends. Got snowed in, but we did all sorts of fun things like building a ramp to build up speed down the ice and launch over the river. Or....this other time, going really far up the mountains with a bunch of goats. The goats were really good at going up and down, and they could even carry some things too. And..."
June starts telling some of the stories, going into slightly more detail.

[Recaiden]

Did anyone have to bring it up, since they're not actually going to the beach?

This part of the spaceship has incomprehensible space-maps, a box of spaceship controls, a deep carpet. It's very richly upholstered, but one thing it doesn't have is windows.
It has openings straight out into the air, which Mei seems unconcerned with so it's probably fine.

She listens to the stories about mountains, which actually help. June seems more like a relatable person and not a strange music snob. She asks a few little questions about the details, the rivers, goats, and so on.

The ship does not immediately fly to any mountains, rather, it's rising up into space.

[5a Violista]

The deep carpet is probably an integral part of the spaceship.

The openings straight out to the air actually aren't all that concerning especially when compared with something more important: they're going to space.
It's always a little scary when you're on a date and your date starts takes a detour you didn't expect. Especially when it's somewhere that you can't get back from on your own. Besides, there's no payphones or cell towers in space, so you can't just call a friend to come pick you up.

June tried to not be worried, hoping it's just a thoughtless mistake. Or tries to not look worried. So she just keeps on talking about mountain stories just as before: like that one where a falcon tried to drop a snake on them. Or racing up the mountain trying to beat the sunrise. And another trip with the goats.

[Lord Magtok]

Mountain Trip

Spoiler

Show

[Mountain Trip]

"I see it." Calm Reed's stance subtly changes into readiness and alertness. "Let me take a look first." She steps forward with a flashlight and shines it on the object around the corner. "Come now, it appears safe. If odd."

If St. Laz and Fidelia follow Calm Reed around the corner, they will spot the rusty, decaying frame of a security mech. The cheap kind you see in Skyside. Smart enough to bark simple warnings to intruders and accurate enough to shoot straight, but not much beyond that. Whether it had a built-in gun or a hand-held one, it is gone now. There are several holes in it and its face-plate is cracked, but it's hard to tell whether it was destroyed or simply shut down.

"I did not expect to see that here. But perhaps I should have. Something so priceless, discarded. There must be a story here."

It seems the monk is overestimating the value of this mech somewhat. While likely more expensive than anything St. Laz or (especially) Fidelia have owned, it's hardly priceless.

Fidelia moves to rest her hand on St Laz's bicep, gently trying to ease her down as Calm Reed takes point and possibly exchanging a glance with her when the monk sounds the all clear. After the moment she elects to take a step forward and look at the metallic wreckage.

"I- Well, I don't think it's that priceless, but... I do wonder what it's doing out here." The knifefighter tries to take a closer look, peering at the assembly.

Saint Lazarus lowers her weapon and frowns. A broken robot can still be bad news if it powers back up and goes haywire, but this one looks like it was looted of anything even resembling a weapon long ago. Should be safe enough to approach, especially since Fi could just bend its iron parts in half or whatever her powers let her do. Just like Fidelia, she's also aware that the robot isn't exactly a priceless relic, but it's probably polite to not explain exactly how wrong Calm Reed is. She's very, very, very wrong, but she doesn't need to know that.

"My guess is someone stole it, and was hiding it here while they sold off the important parts. There's a lot missing here," she remarks, gesturing with her sword towards the holes and the absence of a weapon.

"Or maybe it decided on its own that it didn't like shooting people and ran away until it ran out of power," Saint Laz also suggests, looking all about the remote cave. She supposes if she were on the run from her creators and just wanted to escape society and all of its senseless killing and be at peace, a dark cave in the middle of the wilderness is probably an appropriate place to hide and be all philosophical until the batteries run dry.

[Recaiden]

It could be very worrying to be taken away on a spaceship that you only kind of expected.

Mei doesn't think that June might think that it's worrisome, she's too busy with the first level of worrying about June.

She is interested in the stories, asking what the falcon had against June, whether she won the race or the sunrise did- it can be so quick!

All of a sudden, the stars change, all different places and brightness. They must be somewhere very far away now.
And the ship is now descending, toward some mountains - though the planet the mountains are on is just a distant speck at the moment.

[5a Violista]

To be honest, it's probably worse to be taken away on a spaceship that you didn't at all expect. And it was only after June got in the spaceship that the worrying began. When you start worrying because someone you're on a date on is doing something unexpected...at least there were no warning flags or danger signals or anything beforehand. So that's probably better and that thought process is helping June rationalize why nothing bad's going to happen.

The falcon was just...a falcon. The sun actually won that time, but June held a rematch the next day and took a riskier-yet-faster path that involved jumping from boulder to boulder, and reached the top first.

The stories have enough detail that they can be expanded on up until the point that the new planet comes into view. It's not clear where on the planet they're going yet, but the fact that the planet stops being a speck and instead becomes a little bigger suggests that's their destination. "That where we going?" June asks. "What's its name?"
Names are very important.

[Gullara]

[Enchanted Forest]

Adir is kept from planting a few more bolts in the hag by the massive, obscuring sprays of dirt and mud that come between them. Even when the ground settles again, the brambles crawl over him. He lets his weapon slump on its strap so he can draw his knife and hack at the crawling arms of the swamp. Unfortunately that's doing a lot to delay him from trying to end the hag. Maybe Melissa and Sarget can handle it?

"Hit her, Sarget! Hard!" Adir cries to his father-in-law. He knows the big tree might hesitate to do anything that could be considered lethal, but with Cassie in harm's way they can't afford to be anything except merciless.

[Enchanted Forest]

Brambles lash around Melissa, attempting to drag the nekomata into the mire. She's not about to let THAT happen and diffuses into a dark mist, leaving only her eyes and mouth to slowly fade from view.

Adir busies himself with chopping his way through the brambles. At the touch of the steel they wither and crumble as if there wasn't any substance to them to begin with.

Which there isn't.

They're little more than the dark will of the hag made manifest and the bit of cold iron exposes them for the lie they are.

The hag, none the less, isn't giving up. With her cauldron being pulled further away the nightmarish old woman leaps from her perch, her dress billowing around her, before rocketing toward father and daughter. She halts mere inches away, all writhing black stringy hair and grasping fingers. She tries reaching for Cassie, but it is almost as if her hands are getting tangled up in something insubstantial. With a howl of rage the hag will try to rip away the protective shroud of Blue.

"You gave the name of Cassie-Cute-As-Puppies to my servant! SHE IS MINE!" the hag bellows.

No doubt Adir and Sarget would disagree with the hideous ogress' assessment.

Melissa sure does.

The huge cat sudden appears again, teeth first, chomping down on the hag's leg.

[Enchanted Forest]

Sarget yanks the hag's vehicle one more time for good measure before trying to push past it and pursue the hag herself. However as big as he is, it takes some momentum to get going and he can't immediately close that distance.

Cassie squeals as the hag rushes them. She squeezes her eyes closed and grips her dad for dear life. "I'm not Cassie! I'm Blue I'm Blue I'm Blue!" She screams and shakes her head even as her dad is no doubt springing into action.

[Morty]

[Mountain Trip]

Upon closer inspection, it does appear as though the mech was thoroughly but crudely stripped for parts. Most useful or valuable parts have been removed. Which would point to St. Lazarus' first guess.

"One way or another, there seems to be little for us to do. Some drama played out here that we will never know. If this construct was sentient... I admit I do not know what the proper way of paying respects to its body would be."

[Murkus]

[The Enchanted Forest]

The moment the brambles are cleared, Adir goes for his guns. As fast as he is, the witch still comes close to grabbing Cassie. Only that barrier and Melissa herself keep the monster at bay. But it gives him room to draw. Two of those chattering pistols flash into his hands.

Steel jacketed rounds are directed at the hag's middle, her face, everywhere he can possibly land them while having to shoot mostly from the hip. The sounds of the netherworld are drowned in terrible thunder.

[Rebonack]

[The Enchanted Forest]

With the protective aegis of childish imagination redoubled the hag is having a difficult time here.

Biting doesn't make it better.

The hag howls with rage at the cat sinking teeth into her leg. With an awful slowness she reaches for Melissa, her hand and crooked nails seemingly larger than life. A grip of iron, intent on ringing the nekomatta's neck.

But then she gets shot.

A whole bunch.

Just...

Goodness!

That's so many bullets.

She staggers away, glaring hate at Adir and unholy envy toward his beautiful child. So full of hope and innocence. A father so full of love and protection. She hates them both.

"Three years," the hag hisses-

-right as Sarget gets into clobbering range.

When the fist comes down with a tremendous crash the surroundings shatter like painting on a mirror. The dark, nightmarish forest crumbles away around them, leaving them once again standing on the King's Road.

A flight of stairs nearby leads up to a door standing open. The house on the other side stands silent.

[Recaiden]

To be honest, it's probably worse to be taken away on a spaceship that you didn't at all expect. And it was only after June got in the spaceship that the worrying began. When you start worrying because someone you're on a date on is doing something unexpected...at least there were no warning flags or danger signals or anything beforehand. So that's probably better and that thought process is helping June rationalize why nothing bad's going to happen.

The falcon was just...a falcon. The sun actually won that time, but June held a rematch the next day and took a riskier-yet-faster path that involved jumping from boulder to boulder, and reached the top first.

The stories have enough detail that they can be expanded on up until the point that the new planet comes into view. It's not clear where on the planet they're going yet, but the fact that the planet stops being a speck and instead becomes a little bigger suggests that's their destination. "That where we going?" June asks. "What's its name?"
Names are very important.

"Congratulations on beating the sun!"

"Oh, it hasn't been named yet." Mei says. Does that mean it's not important? "It's just #578 for now."

The little planet becomes a less-little planet and then a properly big planet in the view ahead.
There's something off about it, though. Ah. No clouds swirling over it, none at all. You can see clear down to the, well, mountaintops.

[5a Violista]

"Five Seven Eight?" June says. "Someone should give it a name."

Having very little sense for the scale of the planet, June can't tell if it's actually massive or just big, or what. How does it compare to the planet Eris? Is what June wonders.
...
Not that knowing that would help, having never seen Eris from space.

"Does it not have any air?" June asks, noticing the lack of clouds. Clouds are basically synonymous with air.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

There is no farmhouse and our hero has managed to wander deeper into the woods.

Now, chances are our hero doesn't know how this place works. That's completely understandable since this place is very strange. For example? This orchard is thick with peach trees. So thick in fact that the unusually tall trees block sight of the sky, warm dappled sunlight casting a green hue across the surreal landscape. Trees so thick one can't see more than a few dozen feet in any direction before all sight is obscured. The earth here forms rolling hills at first, though in some places the hillside is impossibly steep. Our hero will even find a few of these earthen waves, frozen in place, curling as one might expect from the sea, trees hanging overhead as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

Here and there the cultivated forest is crossed by little stony streams filled with brightly colored stones, little shapes catching sight of our hero before darting under stones with a mischievous giggle.

Also strange? That odd stack of angular standing monoliths in a circle, each draped with strawberry vines.

Our hero could investigate the odd hanging waves of earth. Or maybe he could follow one of the streams. Or perhaps scrutinize the standing stones.

Or he could ignore all those things and continue wandering, more lost moment by moment.

What shall it be?

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Our hopelessly underpaid intern decides that random giggling voices from streams is kind of unnerving. And the waves of earth are also kind of freaky.
He heads to the standing stones, mostly hoping that they'll form some sort of signpost? That's not terribly likely but it's all he's got at the moment. They're also unnerving but at least stones in a circle at least mean that someone put them in a circle, right?

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

As our hero approaches the circle of standing stones he'll discover!

That they are big.

And covered in moss.

And spooky geometric designs that glow faintly with blue light.

If he decides to step into the circle he'll get the VERY strange impression that he's in two places at the same time.

Somehow.

That shouldn't be possible, right?

He won't have much time to contemplate it, though, because the stone begins humming and glowing REALLY bright all of a sudden! Something is happening! He could either move away from the stones OR stand right there in the middle of them! It might be a way out. Or it might be reacting to him entering the circle and it's getting ready to turn him into a toad or something.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Well, he has no idea what this is (stupid magic) but maybe the being in two places at once feeling is because it’s some sort of portal? It COULD be a portal home. Or somewhere else. But here is already probably bad so…
He decides to wait and out and see where it takes him. Hopefully the feeling isn’t because it’s trying to rip him in half or give him an extra head or something.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

Now, see, here's the question.

If this circle of stones is some sort of teleporter, is it teleporting something INTO the circle or OUT OF the circle right now?

And if it's teleporting something into the circle and our hero decided to stand in the middle of it while someone else is incoming what might that result in?

Has he ever seen the movie 'The Fly'?

Because the circle is suddenly filled with the sound of buzzing wings as a whole bunch of little green and yellow and fuzzy things the size of chipmunks begin rapidly materializing in little flashes of blue light! There's a glow and a feeling of static electricity for about a second and a half before each one of them appears and there are a WHOLE BUNCH popping into existence rapid-fire!

Our hero might actually recognize these creatures.

There's this weird (hive?) of bee-lizards that showed up a few months ago to pollinate the real orchard back in non-crazy land. They acted more or less like someone might expect bees to act, flying from flower to flower drinking nectar and collecting pollen.

Not much time to contemplate this, though, since if our hero stands in once place for too long one of those bee-lizards is going to pop into existence right on top of him and he might get tele-fragged or something.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Our hero lets out a surprised yelp and jumps sideways to the edge of the circle, letting the bucket fall to the ground. He immediately begins crawling behind one of the monolithic stones before he gets stung by a bunch of bee lizards because who knows if he’s allergic to them or something?

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

Bee lizards keep appearing!

As they pop into existence they quickly vacate the circle of stones, heading for some of the nearby peach trees. That's quite a few eyes, though, so it's only a matter of time before one spots our hero huddled behind one of the standing stones. Probably not the most heroic of situations to be found in but hey those stingers look big.

"Oh, hi!" one of the pixies calls out.

From about two dozen mouths in absolute unison.

It makes his voice sound a lot louder that it would be coming from just one beelizard.

"You're from Sunny Orchard, aren't you? What are you doing out here in the Enchanted Forest?" the swarm of tiny fae inquire.

They definitely don't sound hostile.