Silly Plots 4: It's not particularly silly, is it?

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

There is only one problem with this plan.

Many peach trees surround our hero.

Clearly there need to be peaches in a place where there are otherwise no peaches.

In another part of the forest, maybe?

Or out in the waking world?

Would a magical peach tree grow well out there?

So many questions to answer.

"It sounds like you need to find the right spot to plant it," Drake muses. "I haven't ever planted any peaches before so I'm not really sure what the process would involve. But since this is faerie stuff it'll probably be easier than it should be. I think maybe-"

A beat.

"Oh! I found a threshold!" the band of lizards pipes up. "Off your butt, it isn't too far away but the forest shifts around all the time, move move move!"

Should Sandy hurry Drake will direct him to- "Straight ahead. There's a three way fork take the left one. Run past the fox sitting on the rock don't talk to her or make eye contact or anything. You'll find a steep hill slide down it with your eyes close. Hurry!"

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy shoves the pit back into his pocket. He keeps the bucket with him but runs as fast as he can in the direction Drake is pointing him to.
He will follow the instructions. Fork, left, no fox, slide.
Of course given the fact that he is wearing shorts and sandals sliding down a steep hill could potentially be extremely painful for him but he does want to get home.

[5a Violista]

[Blind Date]

As long as Mei doesn't squeeze too hard, Mei probably won't find out that June's hand is squishier and more boneless than the average human's.

"Seems unlikely I'm going to have the chance to practice for several hundred planets' worth of practice," June says as an aside.
"But it definitely seems like a good mountain, so it was a good choice!" Ignoring, of course, the obvious 'if this date goes badly, I might be stranded on a random planet with no way to get back'.

More accurately, how can you know a mountain isn't good if you haven't been there?

So.
Hiking.
June's pretty lightweight so if there's a good view, it's pretty easy to get both of them to stop.


[Seally Plot]

It is pretty frightening.
But, Zophiel trusts her.
Trusts both of them, actually. Definitely trusts them more than he trusts himself, so there's not even time for it to become 'increasingly' pushing, since he just goes.

But he doesn't have something that could be called his soul. Completely exposed to everything and with nothing that could help bind it or preserve it or rebuild it, it just wore away. The swords, since they became sentient were always with him, basically have his 'soul''s imprint, but that's really the only thing remotely close.

...
Well, that's not strictly true. Beneath the intersection of the four seals, there was another soul hidden there, and now that one of them is irrecoverably gone, it's exposed. It's not his but it's there, ripe to be snatched away.

It's not something that he was aware of.

[Rebonack]

[Sunny Orchard]

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the fox calls out as Sandy goes running past. She seems a bit irritated when he doesn't reply and begins following him. Shortly there after he'll come to a steep hill with water flowing down a smooth limestone channel. A natural water slide! With eyes closed Sandy will get the impression of motion and-

Well.

There's a strange twisty feeling.

"Ha! Knew it. Fox is trying to mess with you," several Drakes inform him as they go skittering around on his shirt doing their best to avoid getting smooshed.

They're mostly successful.

The fox is less successful.

Especially since Sandy just plunged into a lake and the kumiho is pretty unnerved about getting near water.

When Sandy breaks the surface he'll be able to see a stone road just beyond the edge of the lake between the trees. They aren't surrounded by peaches anymore the forest appears to consist primarily of beeches. Judging from the cool mist and the colorful leaves, it also isn't summer any longer. Our heroes appear to have crossed over into an autumn portion of the forest.

[Deathkeeper]

Sunny Orchard

Sandy sputters but manages to swim to the shore without losing his lizards. Or his peach pit and bucket; those are important.
But why can't he stay dry for ten minutes? He's soaked again and now it's not even hot enough to dry him off.
Dripping wet he sets off onto the road.
"Is this that Road you were talking about before?" he asks Drake.

[Rebonack]

[Misty Forest]

"Yep! Welcome to the King's Road," Drake proclaims.

At least Sandy's bucket is full of water again.

The road is composed of pristine white limestone slabs, stretching off in either direction and vanishing around the bend. Moss and little wildflowers poke out of the cracks between the stone. Not too far away, Sandy will be able to see a flight of rickety old wooden stairs leading away from the road and up to an equally decrepit looking door. A small flock of Drakes are perched on one of the overhanging beech tree branches, watching the goings on.

Also?

No sooner does Sandy step foot on the road that a small army of mossy little pixies with caddis fly wings begin popping out of the road!

"Oi! Hey! No trespassing without paying the toll!" the two dozen or so pixies all holler in unison.

"This is the King's Road, rocks for brains, there aren't any tolls!" Drake shoots back.

[Deathkeeper]

Misty Forest

"Yeah, there aren't any tolls on the king's road. And all I've got is water, anyway." Sandy insists as he starts walking down the road in spite of the pixies.
"Didn't you say to look for stairs?" he whispers to Drake.
The door and stairs are looking pretty sketchy, though. And aren't you not supposed to leave the road in times like this? Sandy thinks he remembers that being a thing in fairy tales.

[Rebonack]

[Misty Forest]

"The stairs lead to a threshold; a way back to the Waking World," Drake whispers to Sandy. "No telling where in the waking world, though."

"No no no you big stupid ugly GIANT!" the pixies rant. "You've GOT to pay the toll since I said so!"

"That's a dumb reason and you're dumb for saying it," Drake counters.

Apparently insults are a normal part of pixie conversation.

This pixie doesn't seem to want to talk, though.

"Oh YEAH!? Well then I declare war on you! Who's dumb NOW!" the mossy pixies yell as they begin drawing a bunch of tiny moss-covered clubs. Likely for bludgeoning foes into submission.

The Drakes don't seem impressed. "You idiots are smaller than me and your weapons are stupid. Moss on a club? That'll make it hit softer. Who told you that was a good idea?"

"Moss clubs are great you're just a dumb lizard! Who's ever heard of a pixie that hasn't got any human bits? Where's your plant parts? You're just all fat ugly animals!"

[Deathkeeper]

Misty Forest

Sandy nods. Okay. So it probably leads to some broken old house. But it'll be a broken old house with less faeries around maybe. And maybe a phone!
But not his phone. His is gone. He can't remember if he had it on him when he got brought here or not but with all his dunks in the water it would be useless anyway.
"Shut up! I'm not even going on the road very long. Besides, if you don't let me pass I'll smash all of you with my iron-covered bucket!" Sandy brandishes the banded bucket. Indeed, it does have metal on it. It's not a very effective weapon but he knows faeries don't like iron based things. He'd like to keep some of the water for planting the pit, though.
He's still moving along the road towards that door. The pixies haven't stopped him yet and he might be able to make a break for it...

[Rebonack]

[Misty Forest]

"WAR!" shrieks the moss pixies as they go zipping up toward the Drakes in the tree and hanging out on Sandy. At the same time the Drakes take off and meet them in battle! Before long there's a full on melee of biting and clubbing and stinging. Turns out the stinger in the end of Drake's tail is serious business.

One of the pixies will come flying over toward Sandy and try to club him!

He may be surprised to discover that it doesn't feel too different from being clubbed by a full sized human!

Albeit one with one of those toy foam swords.

Like Drake said, a club covered in thick plush moss is a pretty dumb idea.

Will Sandy be swatting pixies with a bucket?

Because it sure sounds like that's going to be happening.

[Deathkeeper]

Misty Forest

Sandy reaches back and swings the bucket around at the pixie like a flail, water sloshing everywhere.
Then he makes a break for the threshold. Drake implied he had to get there as quick as possible before it stops being there or something.
Hopefully he'll make it there and at least a few of the Drakes will be able to follow him in. Though with any luck once he's in the real world he won't need any more help getting home.

[Rebonack]

[Misty Forest]

Sandy slaps a pixie with a bucket!

The iron band thumps right into the teeny fae and it makes a very crunchy noise as it disintegrates into shed insect shells and moss.

That's definitely one dead pixie.

Then?

Run away!

Sandy goes running up the stairs, the rickety old wooden structure groaning and creaking under his weight. As he nears the door one the last remaining Drake riding in his shirt pocket pipes up.

"Knock three times and ask, 'May I come in, please?'" Drake suggests.

Got to follow the rules. Fae love their weird game-like rules.

[Deathkeeper]

Misty Forest

Are you kidding they're getting swarmed by pixies why does this have to be a thing?!
"May I come in, please?" Sandy asks aloud in a terse, strained voice after knocking thrice.
Only one Drake with him. Sandy hopes that the poor guy doesn't do too bad on his own if the rest don't follow...

[Gullara]

[The Enchanted Forest]

Ah. So this is how it was. Had he ever really left the road?

"You don't gotta tell me," Adir says to Sarget, reaching behind his back and extracting Cassie from his backpack so he can take her in his arms. He hugs the quaking kid to his chest, her head tucked under his chin.

"Melissa?" He looks around to see if she's still with them. Hopefully she didn't disappear with the rest of the world. "Come on. We gotta go..."

[The Enchanted Forest => Frescot Residence]

When in doubt it's probably best not to question the Dreamlands.

Or question literally everything, maybe.

There's significant overlap between what should and should not be questioned.

"Yeah I'm coming, too," Melissa says. Just a little girl in a frilly black and white dress with a forked tail and cat ears. Definitely nothing to see here, folks. "Those dumb ugly goblins grabbed me from my school I've gotta get home my parents are going to be worried. Do you guys live Inside? Do you know where the closest train station is?"

Probably even her dumb fat brother is worried about her.

But she made it out... mostly okay. Right?

Heading back up the stairs Adir will find himself stepping out from under Cassie's bed, the first rays of dawn beginning to filter into the still, empty house.

That's...

That's it then, right? The nightmare is over and everything is fine?

What about the changeling?

[Frescot Residence]

After Adir takes Cassie back into their home, and after he gathers up the other rescued children in preparation to deliver them to their homes, Sakura is given the word that it's safe to come home. Cassie sits on the step quietly with her dad as Sakura comes through the portal, the rest of the kids following closely behind her.

Sakura stops in place when she spies Cassie, it not fully registering until she saw with her own eyes. Some of the kids stream past her until the first question is raised. "Cassie?" There's murmurs of confusion. The kids don't know how to take this in. But Cassie was with them. Some look back and forth, double checking that they're not mixing things up with Laurana.

Their mom steps through the kids, goes right up to Cassie, kneels in front of her, and pulls her into a hug. The girl bursts into fresh tears, clutching at her mother with all the strengths he can muster.

Some of the other kids close the gap. Kissa tries to climb onto her dad's lap. Others join in on the hugging with their sister and mom. Laela and Gwydion whisper to each other, looking back at their twin sisters, Laurana and... another Cassie. Laurana looks like she's being pulled in two, the way her head whips back and forth between the group on the steps and the other girl who appears to very much be Cassie standing next to her. As for Cassie... her expression is hard to read. A mixture of confusion and fear. It's really too much for her to grasp.

[Rebonack]

[Misty Forest => Dark Basement]

The door springs open at the request, revealing a nearly pitch black room that smells of mildew and stagnant water.

Whatever is in there it has one pretty major advantage over the current location, though.

It isn't the Enchanted Forest.

Should Sandy flee through the door it'll slam shut behind him, cutting off what little light was streaming in from the forest.

Hmm.

"It is very dark," Drake helpfully points out.

Indeed!

Pitch black, even!

Hopefully there aren't any grues about.

[Deathkeeper]

Dark Basement

Well, Sandy doesn’t have any light sources so he’ll just have to fumble about in the dark. He goes around with his arms in front of him and searches for stairs or another door.
This will likely result in some stubbed toes but he should be able to find something eventually.
Drake could probably help if there was more of him…

[Rebonack]

[Dark Basement]

Drake could do a lot of things if there were more Drakes around.

But as it stands his capabilities are a bit more limited. Instead of a really useful helper Sandy will just have to make do with a doofy pocket lizard.

"Gosh you're so fat and bumbly," Drake points out as Sandy bangs his shin on what feels like some kind of weird coffee table. "You should just fly around it works better."

Clearly!

If Sandy were normal sized instead of a giant clumsy oaf then navigating this dark room would be WAY easier.

He'll be able to feel the lizard crawl out of his shirt and scamper up onto the top of his head to perch.

"Haha wow I can't see anything."

Since there is literally no light in the room at all. Too bad Drake isn't part fire fly.

Should Sandy feel along the walls he'll eventually find a flight of stairs headed upward. Maybe he's in some kind of basement? At the top of the stairs will be a light switch.

And if he turns it on?

Nothing.

Jokes on you this moldy smelling dump hasn't got any power.

[Deathkeeper]

Dark Basement

Sandy has to remember that pixies just insult people and Drake doesn’t know anything he doesn’t.
Because for a millisecond he was almost thinking getting out of the Forest changed his looks because that would not be the weirdest thing he’s heard a faerie Queen do to someone.
Anyway since the light switch is out all he can do is try to open the door at the top of the stairs and keep going until he gets outside.

[Rebonack]

[Dark Basement]

Sandy fumbles around for a moment until he finds the doorknob and!

It's locked.

Ugh.

Of course it is.

However, the door is pretty rotten. With a reasonable feat of strength Sandy could probably just shove the thing right off its hinges.

"Sandy Sandy Sandy. Hehe! That's a girl's name, isn't it? That isn't really who you are," comes the voice of Sandy's head-lizard. "If you give me the real name I can help you loose weight! And make you prettier! It's a good thing it's so dark in here so I don't have to look at you. Humans are soooo fat and soooo ugly."

Probably best not to tell him, Sandy.

It's pretty clear that Drake isn't normally like this. He's only got one head nearby so he's got space for pixie thoughts and not much else.

[Deathkeeper]

Dark Basement

Sandy sets down the bucket where he can find it again and starts the process of repeatedly kicking the door.
”Drake.” (slam) “You're really cute.” (slam) ”But I’m not interesting in being a pixie.” (slam slam slam)
”And also it’s ‘lose.’”
Besides there are lots of guys whose real name is Sandy.

[Rebonack]

[Dark Basement]

"LoOOooooOOOOOoooose~" Drake sing-songs while chewing on Sandy's hair. "Sandy Sandy Sandy Claws is breakin' down some doors. You don't think I'm weird for not having flowers, do you? Flowers or mushroom caps or stringy pond scum hair. Something! But I'm just a pile of animals! Does that make me weird and ugly?"

Sounds like Drake is more self-conscious about his appearance than he let on earlier.

With one more slam the door gives way and Sandy will tumble into a-

[Decrepit House]

The scent of mildew is nearly overwhelming, but at least Sandy can see again.

Feeble amounts of light are filtering in through boarded up windows, illuminating rotten furniture with a distinctive 50s feel to it. Sandy appears to be in the kitchen at the moment. An old rusting atomic era style refrigerator sits in one corner. An ancient oven is over there with a rotten smell coming from it. A table with a tacky cloth looks like it's getting ready to rot into the ground. Sandy will be able to see a back door leading out to somewhere? Another doorway likely leads to the rest of the home.

[Deathkeeper]

Decrepit House

Sandy takes the bucket again and tries the door. If it's open he's just going to take a quick tour of the house, mostly to find the front door. He isn't going to stop unless he finds something alarming or obviously useful like a shovel. By the looks of it there's nothing left here worth taking. If the door is locked he'll just go out the back door and walk around.
"You're adorable, Drake. Don't let those pixies get you down." he says sincerely. Though he's still a little annoyed. He just wants to get out of this house, find a nice spot to plant that peach seed and go home.

[Rebonack]

[Decrepit House]

The back door doesn't seem to be locked since the doorknob turns easily.

However...

The door doesn't open.

It feels like there might be boards nailed over the door outside that are preventing it from being opened. Judging from the boards over the windows this probably isn't terribly surprising. Sandy might have an easier time knocking the boards out of one of the broken windows and climbing out.

Drake hugs the top of Sandy's head.

"Aaww... I guess you're not that ugly for a human," the pixie says.

That's probably about the closest to a compliment he's going to get.

Snooping around, Sandy will notice several flashlights sitting on the kitchen counter. That'll actually help quite a bit should Sandy decide to explore. They're pretty big, heavy duty metal flashlights, too. The kind full of the BIGGEST batteries that you can clobber someone with if you need to. The batteries appear to be good since they turn on just fine.

Will Sandy explore the basement now that he has a light?

Or begin snooping through the rest of the dark house?

Or he could just use the light to bash the boards out of a window.

[Deathkeeper]

Decrepit House

Okay. New plan.
Sandy takes the flashlight and does a quick spin around the basement. Once again, he's really only looking for tools that look to still be in working order.
If he doesn't find any though he's just going to start using the bulky lights to smash open a window, though. He would rather not use his foot since he doesn't have fully covering shoes and broken glass is awfully sharp...

[Rebonack]

[Decrepit House]

Flashlight acquired!

The windows are already broken, as it happens. It would be easy to clear out the rest of the remaining glass with the flashlight.

Regardless!

Back down into the basement.

Now that he can see everything down there, Sandy will discover that he had climbed out of a rather dingy door on the south wall of the basement. There isn't much down there really. Mostly just a water heater, a work table, and a collection of rusty looking wood-working tools. Seems like it was someone's shop? There are other odds and ends, old games, toys gardening equipment, that sort of thing. Nothing too terribly exciting. There IS a shovel, though. Should Sandy decide to poke at it he'll find that the wooden handle is pretty rotten. If he tries to use it for leverage there's a pretty good chance that it will break.

Hmm...

Given how rotten and rusted everything is here...

Isn't it kind of weird that there were several fresh, clean, heavy duty flashlights on the kitchen counter?

[Deathkeeper]

Decrepit House

Sandy is a Nexus native. He doesn't really question it when convenient things just happen to occur or be where he needs them. Maybe House Hunters were planning a raid?
He takes the shovel despite its fragility. Taking his three tools he attempts to pry a board off the window and exit the premises.
Maybe the backyard will have a nice sunny spot he can plant the pit? He just wants to get this over with...

[Rebonack]

[Decrepit House]

If House Hunters were planning on coming here there would probably be more monsters.

Sandy pries off one of the boards to look out into the yard and immediately finds more monsters.

In this particular case a bunch of misshapen, lumpy, grotesque things that are all identifiable human. Just... monstrously deformed. Monsters in the traditional sense. Limbs that are too long or too short or too big. Comically large or tiny noses. Mouths and teeth woefully mismatched. Each one uniquely hideous. Three of them are naked little impish things, though one has a long filthy beard so who knows how old they are. The fourth is wearing a patched together outfit of fabric, hide, and bits of rusty iron. He's much larger than the others, though not much taller. Not fat, no. Short and stocky. Like an angry, crass square here to ruin everyone's day. The largest of the monsters is also wearing a red cap on his neckless head, red and slick. Resting on his shoulder is a length of iron pipe with a bunch of nails welded to it.

Judging from the stains the creature has used the pipe before.

"Goblins!" Drake quietly hisses upon sight of them.

It doesn't sound like Drake is happy to see them.

[Deathkeeper]

Decrepit House

Sandy ducks down immediately. He isn’t equipped to fight goblins. Even if he does have a pair of iron implements to smack them with.
He tries the other door. Maybe if he can go out the front he will be able to evade them?

[Rebonack]

[Decrepit House]

Would Sandy be shocked to discover that there are more boards on the front door?

These ones are at least nailed across the inside rather than the outside.

What kind of doof sets up an outward facing outside door?

That's just a terrible idea.

Regardless, Sandy can pull these boards off pretty easily since like most of the wood in this house it is pretty punky.

However...

Given that there are several goblins loafing around in the back yard it might be a good idea to peek out through the boarded up windows to see if he can't see any other potential dangers outside.

What if the goblins heard him pulling boards free?

That would probably result in bad things.

[Deathkeeper]

Decrepit House

Sandy peels aside a board just enough to get a good look outside.
He doesn’t really have many options here. He could send Drake out as a distraction. He’s a pixie so it doesn’t seem like losing one will damage his little hive-mind. He could also maybe use the Boon if necessary but the other goblins probably don’t honor deals with someone else and he probably can’t just use it to ask the Queen to help. He’ll try to just evade them for now.