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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Balmas's Avatar

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    Default Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Wasteland 3 released just over a week ago and, if you're like me, the intervening week has had an embarrassingly large amount of that game. In a week, I've put the equivalent of a part-time job into Colorado, and I haven't even reached the first of the three main-quest objectives. Which is weird, when you consider that I have fewer than fifteen hours in Wasteland 2. Not for lack of trying--that's fifteen hours, spread over three playthroughs, none of which lasted longer than ten hours. But Wasteland 2's overly complex systems, punishing difficulty curve, and near requirement of prescience to avoid wasting skill points meant that I could never really sink my teeth into the story itself.

    I'm not going to get into those issues here, but trust me when I say that I have a multipage Word document on my desktop comparing the two games because I was that frustrated with Wasteland 2, and that overjoyed to see the issues ironed out for Wasteland 3.

    Seriously, if you played Wasteland 2 and were turned off by the archaic, labyrinthian systems of that game, know that nearly every system has been streamlined and simplified. And I'd argue that's a good thing. I'm able to enjoy the excellent world, the sharp humor, and sink into the choices I have to make.

    If anyone's interested, I've been keeping a small log and some screenshots. No guarantees that this will be a full Let's Write, as I'm quite busy nowadays.
    Spoiler: Chris and Kris: Day 1
    Show

    The first sign that our trip to Colorado wasn't going to be normal was the minefield of doll's heads.

    Now, on the list of "things that aren't okay," dolls with glowing red eyes are already pretty high up there. But turning them into explosives and blowing up our entire caravan? That's just wrong, man.

    One minute we're inching our way across a frozen lake. The next second, chaos. Our leader takes a rocket to the chest, our lieutenant catches a sniper round to the neck, trucks are blowing up left and right, and our radio chatter is full of some backwater hick crowing about the "day-looge of bluuuuud."

    We make our way through camp after camp of… Based on the hick on the radio's blabber, I think they call themselves Dorseys? I mean, does it really matter what they call themselves? They've got a string of corpses hanged off the edge of a dam, the leader keeps blabbing on the radio about how much fun he's having with his rocket launcher, one of them is pulling out entrails and singing nursery songs about it. They're not living through the day.

    By the end of the day, it's just me and my husband Kris left. There was a more experienced ranger who helped us take out the lead Dorsey, but she died of shock a few minutes later. Two men and the cat we recruited, out of a detachment of fifty. S'gonna make fulfilling our promise to the Patriarch kinda difficult. That's the whole reason we're here, after all. Arizona Rangers are all kinds of screwed after the battle with the Cochise AI, we need supplies, the Patriarch says he'll trade supplies for Ranger aid.

    Needless to say, the Patriarch isn't impressed. But he says he'll still honor the agreement, give us supplies and a base, and we'll go from there.

    It's gonna be a long mission.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-07 at 12:10 AM.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    I will say this for Wasteland 3. Having a questlog that's worth a damn makes Let's Writes so much easier. So does having worthwhile writing that lets me remember most of what happened, even twenty five hours later in the playthrough. I remember back when I made my first shot at a Let's Write for Fallout 3, part of the reason I quit was that it got hard to remember what happened when. Now, I've got a couple pages of just the bullet points on this game. It's a nice change.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #2: What Do You Mean, Doors Open?
    Show
    Now look, before you say anything, no, I'm not dumb. I understand exactly what the game is telling me to do. It's just that my understanding is wrong.

    And can you blame me? Our liaison with the Patriarch, Sergei Greatski, tells me that power is down, and I need to go find a way to get the door to the control room open. When I go to one of the other doors, the game pops up a tutorial window. Whoops! None of your characters have lockpicking! That's alright, any item in the world has a health bar, and you can punch doors down!

    So we spend the next half an hour or so, watching Kris punch down all the steel doors he can. Which is most of them, surprisingly. He may look scrawny, but my husband has it in him. The only ones that give him trouble are the steel roller doors that look just like the ones on the control room door.

    The brig, surprisingly, already has a prisoner in it. He's been in there long enough that he doesn't even remember his own name. That he's been surviving off wall condensation and turd-grown mushrooms also contributes to his memory issues, as he's not entirely sure which bits he sees are real and which are shroom hallucinations. We let him go because A) we're not sociopaths and B) that's it. I mean, who could look at this guy, high off his butt on turdshrooms and go "yeah, this guy is where he belongs?"

    Our barracks also come pre-staffed with refugees who accidentally got locked in when one of their number fried a computer. Obviously, they never thought to just punch the door. I let them know that, yeah, I found their friend, and he kinda ate a shock to the face when he messed with the wrong computer and isn't coming back. That's the bad news. Good news is, again, we're not sociopaths, and so we're not gonna toss them out into the cold. Who knows? Maybe they'll be helpful down the line, and it's not like we're pressed for space at the moment.

    Finally, defeated, we come back to the main atrium and reluctantly admit that we couldn't find a way to turn on the power to get the control room door open. Greatski looks at me funny, and tells me the door's unlocked.

    Well. That simplifies things, but you couldn't have said something when you saw Kris first start wailing on that door? I appreciate it's a good look, but we have places to be.

    From there, it's actually disgustingly simple to put the place in order. The robots running the place insist that this is an army base, and only army members are allowed to be in charge. Convenient, since the Rangers are originally descended from the army corps of engineers, so we're close enough for hand grenades.

    With the base up and running, the Patriarch, Saul Buchanan, is finally able to stroll in and tell us what he wants in exchange for sending aid to Arizona. He's aware that he's getting older, and rumors are starting to flow about what will happen when he dies. He wants us to gather his three errant children, Valor, Victory, and Liberty.
    • Valor's a soft tech nerd who fried one too many computers. In the hopes that he'd fry their systems instead of ours, the Patriarch sent him to an insane bunch of Reaganites as a diplomat. Unfortunately, the Gippers control the only source of oil in Colorado, and Valor convinced them to cut the Patriarch's supply of oil. If we don't get the oil back, everybody freezes to death. Now, as a proper American, I hate Reagan with a burning passion, and make a note that getting the oil back would preferably involve installing somebody else as our puppet.
    • Victory is much more warlike than his brother. He's an arsonist, sadist, rapist, lots of ists. It got to the point that the Patriarch had to exile him to keep the household in check. Now he's back, and he's taken over a town to the northwest. The Patriarch also dangles a thread of a couple rangers maybe being held hostage by him.
    • Liberty is arguably the most dangerous of the lot. She's got more vision than either of her brothers, and she's already made one attempt at ousting her father. Now, that seems like leadership, but Liberty would run Colorado as a slave state, with everybody under her boot. The Patriarch doesn't know exactly where she is, but knows that she's stirring up trouble with the eastern plain gangs.

    Naturally, he wants them back alive. Can't have heirs if the heirs are dead.

    Now all that's left is to gear up, man up, and head out. Marshall Kwon introduces himself and insists that he come along. He's an ex-member of the Patriarch's local police force, and tells us he's the Patriarch's "liaison" with us. He laughs when we call him out. Yes, yes, he's actually the spy on our little operation, keeping tabs on us. Can you blame him? Despite that, I find myself liking the man. He's easygoing, sarcastic, and it seems like he knows who's who. And, as a dab hand with an assault rifle, he's gonna be useful. We also pick up a new recruit, a redhead named Arrow with a gun bigger than he is. Not that this is hard, given he's about two feet tall. Still, if he can manage to tame his LMG, he's welcome to the crew.

    Now, to Colorado Springs!
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-10 at 02:40 PM.
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Have I mentioned that I love the skill changes Wasteland 3 made? I'm fairly sure I have, but the simple fact that you can pick up the first three levels of any given skill with one level-up means it's super easy to acquire base competency as needed.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #3: Wasteland Justice
    Show
    We enter Colorado Springs in the middle of an execution.

    The Patriarch explained to us that the entire reason we're getting a second chance at aid--and a fancy building, and recruiters, and a radio expert, and a 'liaison'--is because the entire ambush was his fault. The people who pulled it off are known as Dorseys, and they're supposed to be dead. People thought the Patriarch had wiped them all out years ago until they showed up a few days ago in a two-pronged attack. One gang took out our caravan, while the other drove a wedge through Colorado Springs.

    The Marshalls managed to drive them off, and now we get to see the aftermath. Dorseys sit in a courtyard, stripped to the bone and strapped to St. Andrew's crosses. As execution methods go, it's fairly ingenious--no muss, no fuss, very low cleanup, reusable, and the entire town gets to watch the spectacle as Colorado's nuclear winter does the hard work. The Dorseys are defiant right now, but I'm sure that will change as frostbite starts to claim extremities.

    Most of our attention, however, is taken up by the woman wailing at the foot of the execution dais. She flags us over and, between tears, explains that they're about to execute her son! He's not a Dorsey, he's a good lad, he's all that she has left of her father, and will we please save his life?

    See, when the Patriarch defeated the Eastern Plain gangs, he didn't actually finish them off. Instead, he just shunted them further out of his territory, made them somebody else's problem. Mrs. Pease here is one of those somebody elses, who, on finding a new gang on her doorstep and with a husband recently murdered by the same, decided to emigrate somewhere safer: Colorado Springs.

    However, Colorado Springs has been less than welcoming to these refugees. The Hundred Families--the descendants of the sixty-seven original families who survived the apocalypse in underground bunkers--view the refugees as a drain on Colorado Springs' resources. And since the Marshalls work for whoever's paying them the most, and since the Hundred Families have more resources than the bankrupt refugees, the Marshalls kick down at the refugees whenever they get the chance.

    Mrs. Pease's son, though, isn't being executed for being a refugee. At least, not directly. He's still waiting to be stripped and tied when we get to him, and explains that yeah, he did what the Dorseys asked of him. He didn't think what they wanted was that big of a deal--he didn't kill anyone, didn't open any doors, didn't help them try to take over the town. He and his mother were starving. They'd been starving for weeks. The Dorseys gave him food, and all they asked was to break a few windows across town.

    The judge overseeing the execution doesn't see it like that, though. Those broken windows drew much-needed Marshalls away from the defense of the town. Who knows how many lives those acts of petty vandalism cost?

    Yeah. I'm sure the fact that it's one less refugee has nothing to do with it either, especially since he hints that if we were to slip him, say, two hundred dollars--purely for damages, of course--and took responsibility for his actions in the future, he wouldn't have too many issues with letting him off the hook. Two hundred dollars isn't a lot when compared to the value of, say, a gun, even if our current state means it's basically all of our cash. But it's pretty cheap for a human life,.

    Again. Not sociopaths.

    And, realistically speaking, it gets us both an extra hand back at base and some good words going around the refugee community, both valuable commodities for people new in town.

    We can but hope that our next stop, the Sheriff, is less corrupt.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-10 at 12:27 AM.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Spoiler: Prisoner in the brig
    Show
    My squad came to a different conclusion.

    See, my squad includes a doctor and computer whiz. Sort of an all around smartypants. Just don't stand between him and any badguys...or even off to one side. He uses a shotgun to make up for his lack of skill, and he's still likely to hit you with it.

    My point is that he has the big brain. He looked at the guy fried by the computer in the brig, and immediately determined he wasn't electrocuted. He was poisoned, and the half-eaten mushroom in his pocket gives a pretty good clue on how.

    That could still be an accident...unless you look at the computer logs. The computer logs show someone logging into it AFTER the guy died. His fellow refugees didn't do it - they were locked in the other room. They didn't even know he was dead.

    So now we have a situation. A seemingly harmless mushroom hippy locked in a cell...and who lied about how the other person in the room with him died. He knows what mushrooms are safe to eat, but either gave a poisonous mushroom to someone or remained silent while they ate it. He then went and doctored the body by electrocuting it to hide the cause of death.

    What's worse is that we don't know how he got out of the cell. I'm holding what is apparently the only key, and it was outside the cell. So the cells are not enough to contain this guy. I have nowhere else to keep him. Heck, I don't even have a guard to put on the door!

    Only one answer - immediate firing squad. Kinder than freezing to death in Colorado Springs, and a lot kinder than the refugees would be if they got their hands on him.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodin View Post
    Spoiler: Prisoner in the brig
    Show
    My point is that he has the big brain. He looked at the guy fried by the computer in the brig, and immediately determined he wasn't electrocuted. He was poisoned, and the half-eaten mushroom in his pocket gives a pretty good clue on how.
    Huh. I guess that explains why when we picked some of the turdshrooms--because hey, it's not like we have a weight limit keeping me from my klepto-hoarder RPG habits--one of them was poisonous while the other two would cure things. One more reason to love this game!

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #4: Law and Headgear
    Show
    When we enter the Marshall's office, the first thing we see is Hat.

    It definitely deserves the capital letter. General Vargas had one like that, a nice wide-brimmed number that kept the Arizona sun out of his eyes, and which I kind of regret not stealing when he died. This one puts that hat to shame, with a brim wide enough to block out the sun to seven districts and a host of bullets strung 'round the band. The Hat bobs back and forth as the blond woman underneath it shouts at the poor secretary manning the desk, who looks like she'd prefer to be literally anywhere other than here at this very moment in time.

    "I told you, the Sheriff is busy dealing with the rest of those Dorseys," the secretary sighs with the manner of somebody who has said this at least five times, and knows that they'll probably say it at least five more.

    "And I told you, the Dorseys have my family, and I'm not stopping until I talk to Sheriff Daisy!"

    Miss Lucia Wesson, as I'll learn she's called, stares daggers at our backs as the secretary realizes there's a chance that she might spend a few minutes not being yelled at and drags us to see the Sheriff. Sheriff Daisy's an impressive figure of a woman, made all the more impressive for the rifle on her back--it's painted an almost garish stars-n-stripes pattern, and I'm pretty sure the barrel's on fire.

    Don't ask me how. It just is.

    Anyway. Sheriff Daisy looks like she's been through the wringer, and says as much. She's been run ragged trying to keep things together. The town just got attacked, people are dead, and there are still a few Dorseys to take care of. This is the Patriarch's initiation, she says. Wants to make sure we know what we're doing and won't just get shot by the first rando in the wasteland. The Dorseys're holed up in the Canyon of the Gods, just outside the city. If we go in there and take out the holdouts, we'll get a few new bits of kit, but the bigger reward is a warden for ranger HQ.

    We hear Miss Wesson before we see her. Seems she got tired of waiting, and caught the tail end of that conversation, and lets the sheriff have it. If we're going after the Dorseys, we're taking her with us. She's a crack shot with pistols, even if she's never actually fought before, she says. And she says it with such conviction, I kinda have to like her a little bit. She may be inexperienced but, well, so are we.

    And an extra gun's an extra gun, which we'll need if we're going after a gang of Dorseys.
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  6. - Top - End - #6
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    I'll admit, saying "Stop, we can't kill this one, we need to go through the proper channels" falls kinda flat after killing a couple dozen people before it. Granted, that's probably because the game doesn't really model people surrendering, and I fall on the "we probably shouldn't have killed those other ones either" side of the argument, but still.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #5: Ranger Justice
    Show
    In the Arizona desert, water is the key to life. In the mountains of Colorado, it's heat.

    The Garden of the Gods is perhaps a bit ostentatiously named, but it's accurate. Colorado Springs has turned this rocky series of canyons and mesas into what looks like their primary farm. Solar collectors mounted high on the mesas funnel enough heat below to keep the plantbeds from freezing

    Not that any of that matters to us right now. We're here for Dorseys, not plants.

    And already on stepping in, we're able to hear hick noises from somewhere up ahead. Normally, we'd prefer to take our time setting things up--assault rifles towards the back, handguns and shotguns up close, and then everyone shoots at once--but the hick voices are arguing with somebody who's warning them to stay back, or he'll blow the explosives he's hidden and kill everyone!

    Luckily, Dorseys like to stand next to explosive barrels. Maybe someday I'll learn something that'll recontextualize all of this and make me feel bad about blowing them the hell up, but somehow I doubt it. Then again, it's been all of two days since they killed everybody in our company but my husband and I, so I suspect I'm more than slightly biased.

    Bellamy Ward, the owner of the voice threatening to blow everybody up, thanks us for the rescue and confesses that it was basically nothing but a bluff. He might have been able to whip something up with more notice, since he's one of the Hundred Families scientists in charge of maintaining the solar panels here, but with such short notice a bluff was the best he had.

    Kris perks up, and with that, the two are off to the races discussing thingamajiggers, whatsamahoozits, and so on. Kris has always been the smart man to my pretty face--I manage to understand something about exponentially increased power output from solar panels, but most of the rest is lost on me.

    I'm on edge most of the way through the canyon. Even petting the cat in the little science area while Kris played with a terminal wasn't enough to keep me from looking out for Dorseys.

    I get my wish in the next canyon down. Almost a dozen Dorseys gather around a rank-smelling firepit, but Kwon signals that if we could get to the ridge above the camp we'd probably have a nice tactical advantage. I'm midway through directing the troops when the solar panel above us turns and lets out a death beam that fries half the Dorseys outright. I turn, and Kris unbends from a terminal and holds up a bit of circuitry he pulled out of that science camp. Exponentially increased power output, indeed.

    The firepit the Dorseys were gathered around? It's a mass grave. Lucia's close to losing her lunch, and insists she can't identify anybody here. Not that I blame her; most of the bodies are so charred you'd need a forensic dentist to get any headway. Men, woman, children, all Hundred Families and all burnt. I can only hope that burning happened after death--not that it matters much, they're still dead--but I can hope their deaths were quick.

    We find somebody unexpected on our way out. Lucia stops us because she recognizes the little turd in the campground ahead as her boyfriend, the one who managed to get her out of Colorado Springs just ahead of the Dorseys. Not a coincidence, it turns out--the reason he knew to get her out was because he was working with the Dorseys. Spewed some horsecrap line about how the Patriarch was corrupt, and the Hundred Families needed to rebel and put him down and reclaim their control of the area, and all those Hundred Families bodies back there--which, he says, include Lucia's entire family--are just worthwhile sacrifices towards that end.

    I'll tell you, Lucia sees red. Wants to execute him right then and there, has her gun out and pointed at him and everything. Can't rightly blame her neither. Still, we manage to convince her it's better that justice be seen to be done the right way, in front of the crowd, legal and everything. Things're gonna go down a dark path if the Rangers just decide we're allowed to play judge, jury, and executioner for every two-bit we snaffle up. End result's gonna be the same, if Mrs. Pease's son is any example, but it'll be done right and not by Lucia's hands.

    Besides, we've killed every Dorsey we've come across. This little skidmark on humanity's underwear is our only lead to how the Dorseys got in. Luckily, Lucia's gun in his face has loosened his tongue along with his bowels, and he's only too glad to spill the beans. According to him, he didn't let the Dorseys into the city; that was done by somebody involved in the Little Vegas, the premiere casino of Colorado Springs and owned by one Faran Brygo.

    Well. That complicates things, doesn't it?
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-13 at 01:05 PM.
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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Out of curiosity, readers, do you prefer shorter and more frequent updates, or massive updates that come less frequently? I've been leaning towards the former, as it's easier for me to sit down and bang something out if it's gonna take less than half an hour, but I'm starting to reach a point in the writeup where it's more and more difficult to fit all the stuff that happens into a concise format.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #6: When in Vegas...
    Show
    Faran Brygo. That's a name I haven't heard since we got Vargas drunk enough to spill some stories about his past. Apparently, they first met Brygo back before Vargas got promoted out of field work. Back then, Brygo was one of two crimelords feuding over Vegas when Cochise rose up. Vargas and co kicked the synths out of Vegas and helped solidify Brygo's rule.

    Sheriff Daisy doesn't seem too surprised to hear that Brygo--or somebody in his organization, at the very least--was involved in the attack. Apparently, when Cochise rose up, more synths came and shoved Brygo out of Vegas. Since then, he came north, set up a new casino, and he's been a thorn in her side ever since.

    In fact, she sent an investigator to his casino a few days ago, hoping he'd turn up some dirt that would let the Marshalls move in. But Delgado hasn't come back, and she suspects foul play. She's already sent a brig warden to help us get HQ up and running--how about she throws in a quartermaster if we get this issue resolved?

    The Little Vegas is everything it claims to be--all the sin and vice of the big city, crammed into one tiny neon-bedecked building. It takes us all of ten seconds to be approached by some rando wanting us to get his drugs back, and another fifteen to find the brothel.

    You can't really fault me for going straight there, okay? I've met plenty of people who "investigate" their way straight into a bed and lose track of time. I'd much rather eliminate that possibility before we go causing a fuss anywhere else. Delgado's not in the brothel, but one of the patrons does gives us a lead in exchange for some viagra--he saw Delgado head into the back room behind the bar, and he hasn't seen him since.

    When we make our way behind the bar, one of the bouncer shakes his head. He's Charley Knowes, he says, hero of countless wars and battles, like the Battle of Two Buttes, where his crew was squeezed between two massive hills. How he remembers the smell of the fallen!

    Lucia scoffs--yeah, sure. Sounds like it took place in an outhouse.

    Knowes sobers up quickly, though, when we tell him we know that Delgado's in the back room. He can't confirm or deny anything, of course. But, perhaps, in the interests of not having this fine establishment or these fine Rangers get shot up, he could give us a tip? Of course, we did't hear it from him, no sir, but there's a machine shop to the south of town. Ask for MacTavish, and we'll find the guy we're looking for.

    Well, call me a sap, but I don't want to go shooting up a casino, especially one owned by somebody with such a long history with the Rangers. Seven years bad luck or something. But if we can find somebody with answers, even if they're not the ones Daisy wants? Seems worthwhile.
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  8. - Top - End - #8
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    This would be an example of a longer one, as I seriously considered splitting it up.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #7: The House Always Wins
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    Let's just say that the folks at the machine shop are not inclined to come quietly.

    Oh, sure, they give us one warning to leave. But the second we open our mouths to say that we don't want to fight and just want to talk to MacTavish, out come the robot dogs and the machine guns. They won't be shaken down by the Marshalls or their substitutes!

    Once the situation is, er, resolved, we pound on MacTavish's door and are greeted by the the moost oootrageous Scaw'ish akcint. MacTavish's ruuuuled Scaw'land way back, sooo he figured that he ought to learn the language. (Thank goodness for the durability of that old Braveheart VHS he found.) He doesn't care aboot his bawbag mooks--they're a dime a dozen, apparently--but a door is harder to come by, and so he lets us in.

    He tries to weasel and hardball his way out, claiming he'll talk if we give him five hundred dollars with which to skip town, and we have nothing on him, but a bit of hardnosing and some threats to get the Marshalls get him to spill the beans.

    Yeah, it was him that let the Dorseys in, he says, but you can't really blame him, alright? Look at the state of him--no nose, no ears, and all because the Marshalls said that giving away free drugs with every oil change was possession with the intent to sell! And for that, they put him in the pillory till his face half-froze off! S'not selling drugs, it's customer service!

    And the Marshalls probably just took the drugs and sold them off for their own, he grumbles. Marshalls are corrupt, sure as bears do their business in the woods. Patriarch takes care only of his own, and his own are only the people as take care of him. All the rest are just to keep things going.

    It was revenge, pure and simple. Brygo had nothing to do with it. He didn't think it would get this bad, though! He just thought they were going to kill Buchanan, and that would be it!

    That's information enough. After some talking amongst ourselves, we decide that we can't hand him over to the Marshalls. If they're as bad as he says, it'd be a death sentence for sure, and I kinda feel sorry for the guy. But we're also not gonna let him go free. We're taking him into custody, both for his benefit and for our own.

    If that were where it ended, our lives would be much simpler. But one of the lockers we rustle through--because screw it, we're poor and he's not using them--has a note in it in which Brygo urges MacTavish not to follow through with his plan. Which means that Brygo knew about it and said nothing.

    Brygo didn't help the Dorseys, but Daisy sure as hell won't see it that way. So before we go to the Marshall's office, we make our way back to the Little Vegas to make sure we have everything correct.

    Brygo is understanding and admits that, yeah, he knew about MacTavish's idiotic revenge scheme, although he was really hoping that the scottish idjit would come to his sense. And yes, he's been holding Delgado in the back room, though that was less intentional. Somebody in his organization decided Delgado had to be held prisoner, and once you lock somebody into your brig it's really hard to let them out. I mean, what's he gonna say? "Whoops, sorry about that, no hard feelings, not my intention?" Yeah, that'll sell the Marshalls in a heartbeat.

    So, here's the way we resolve this lose-lose into a win-win, he says. Daisy promised us a quartermaster if we found Delgado, but what she really wants is an excuse to take down his casino. If we come back and don't turn him in, she might be pissed enough to welch on her end of the deal. Buuut, if we were to go back to Daisy and explain the situation and make that note disappear, make it plain that he really didn't know anything, honest, weeelll… then maybe Brygo could provide us a quartermaster of his own.

    Maybe I shouldn't take the deal. I mean, anybody coming to Ranger HQ and seeing a patsy of Brygo running the armory is gonna connect some dots. But I just saw a man whose face froze off for something as petty as drug dealing, and Brygo is an old friend of the Rangers, so I'm willing to cut him some slack. We shake hands on it, and I walk down the stairs…

    And find a squad of Marshalls waiting at the bottom. No matter what I say to them, they make it clear that they're not buying. If we don't go straight up those stairs again and come back down with Brygo in handcuffs, they're gonna consider us straight up enemies of the state and open fire.

    I might be willing to lie to Daisy to protect Brygo. But I'm a lot less willing to kill Marshalls for him, even if they're drunk and giving credence to MacTavish's tales of corrupt cops. So back up the stairs we go for a very unpleasant fight. Brygo's the biggest threat, with dual-wielded tommyguns and a health pool appropriate for a man of his girth, but the six-ish people around us are more than a match. It's only once we whittle Brygo down enough for him to surrender that he, well, surrenders. All in all, an unpleasant encounter and not one I'd do again.

    Daisy is, predictably, ecstatic to have Brygo in custody. And yet, even when I take MacTavish's note and burn it behind HQ, I feel dirty.
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  9. - Top - End - #9
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    And now we get to side quests!

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #8: Begun, the Clone Wars Have
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    For the first time, we step out into Colorado Springs without direction from the Patriarch or the Marshalls.

    Naturally, that's when the radio crackles to life. I don't know the name of the lady who's harassing our radio operator, but based on how she keeps interrupting him and demanding attention, somehow I get the feeling this won't be the last time we hear from her. Apparently, her neighbor, Irv, in the Sans Luxe--Kris giggles at the name--apartments is making too much noise and keeping her awake. It's a never-ending party, always hubbub and voices and arguments! And since the Marshalls have heard her out and told her to get lost, she's coming to us instead.

    Maybe it's a bad idea to give her what she wants, but I feel for the poor guy manning the radio back at HQ. Besides, she's willing to pay $150 for an afternoon, which is approximately half the money in the world right now. So off we go to the Sans Luxe, a squat, damp building tucked behind the museum to the Patriarch.

    Now, I'm no stranger to roughing it. And there are obviously tons of refugees in Colorado Springs who'd like nothing better than four walls and a roof right now. But still, the sheer reek of rot that assaults us on entering makes me gag and Lucia turn green. Are we quite sure this is actually a surviving building and not, as the evidence suggests, simply held together by the mold?

    Still, we have a job to do. So, we gag down our objections and knock at the door at the end of the hall. As promised, it's noisy at that end of the hallway, but not in the way I expect. There are voices, yes, but they're all the same. And most of the noise isn't music or dancing or the heavy thump of footsteps, but the more electronic buzz of heavy wiring and chirping of computers.

    We knock, and Irv comes to the door. Then Irv comes to the door again, and Irv comes to the door again, and the three Irvs whip out plasma pistols and open fire.

    It's not a fun fight, but by the end of it we have multiple dead Irvs, a few deconstructed turrets, and a room full of computer junk. Kris pokes around, and declares it a cloning setup, which explains the multiple Irvs, and why they didn't say much but Irv, but doesn't explain where the original Irv was.

    Wait, on the way here, we passed a guy in a labcoat trying to buy books about cloning from the market. You don't think…

    Yeah. Irv's still in the market and still has no luck on finding the self-help book he wants. With a bit of bullying, he spills the beans. Apparently, he himself is a clone of Irwin Finster. Yeah, that Irwin Finster, the guy behind the Cochise AI that nearly wiped out the Rangers twice. But Irv doesn't have nearly the intelligence of his source material--he's a bundle of nerves, has social anxiety, and was in fact in the market because when he tried to "make friends" in the family tradition, he wound up with homicidal psychopaths.

    Well, he can't stay in Colorado Springs. He's incompetent, miserable, and liable to make a bigger mess if left to his own devices. But we're also not going to turn him out into the wastelands because, again, incompetent. Kris and I share a look, sigh at each other, nod, and invite him to Ranger HQ. Yes, bring the cloning tube, I'm sure that won't be a nightmare down the line.
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  10. - Top - End - #10
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    My word, over 10K views on this thread. That's encouraging and kind of scary.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #9: The Hunt For October 11
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    I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just Irv and his clones, but I've got Cochise on the brain.

    So when the radio crackles again and dispatch tells me there's synth hunters in front of the base, I'm not sure what to think. I mean, this is incredibly handy! Almost suspiciously so.

    This guy gives himself a long badass name, but apparently his nickname is NaCl? Sorry, Wolfe, your name is now Salt. Anyway, Salt tells me that he and his crew used to run with the Rangers, but quit because the Rangers apparently had these pesky things like morals.

    He doesn't say it that way, but that's what he means. The Rangers weren't "pragmatic" enough for him, so he went his way.

    Anyway, he tells us that he's been racking up quite a bodycount when it comes to Synths. He's killed eleven of the artificial humans in Arizona, and followed a rumor of more in Colorado. And was even right! There were two in the market, and his team managed to get one, but the other got away!

    So why is he asking us for help, I wonder? Synth is there. He hunts synths, did a good job of it, why should the Rangers get involved?

    Well, y'see, he kiiiiinda shot up downtown. You know, the place with the people and the market and the museum and the Marshalls? So Daisy is pretty pissed and won't let him back in town.

    But that's alright! Because she's not pissed at us yet!

    Yeah, and I'd like to keep it that way, thanks. I've worked very hard to get Daisy on side and would very much like not to throw that away over some rogue robot.

    Still, as I wander downtown, I can't help but think about what he said. About how we'll know we're nearby when we hear static, because synths radio science science. And dammit, now I'm hearing static on the radio and it's driving me nuts.

    Look, I'm not one of those rabid synth haters, okay? If they want to live with us, fine. Kinda creepy to have a bit of Cochise so close to home, but live and let unlive, right?

    But leaving a synth around town without finding out their intentions? Not happening. So we wander around, listening for static. Salt said something about it being near the museum, so that seems a good place to start. Three main suspects arise--one of the refugees, a scientist on the wall, and one of the bums near the museum. But before I can get further into any interrogations, Kris taps me on the elbow and shakes his head. None of these are, you know, robotic. Sure, I suppose they could be disguised, but have I considered the museum over there? You know, the one that's full of animatronics?

    The Patriarch's museum is less history and… what's the right word? Religion? Mythmaking? Every display talks about how great Saul Buchanan is and how he fixed things and things are great, and look at this replica of Sheriff Daisy's gun, and this diorama represents the Plains gangs that are Gone Now, and these are the clothes he ripped off those Dorseys before he destroyed them entirely and forever. Maybe I'm just a cynic but I'd bet you money that half of these are outright lies and the rest are stretched truths.

    The biggest thing though, is that one of the displays is mismatched. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the Patriarch fighting the Monster Army, but one of the Monster Army animatronics is wearing a Marshall's outfit. And although it's initially unresponsive, a gun shoved in its face quickly convinces the synth that talking is the smart choice.

    And when it does, I kinda wish it hadn't. See, it's fully an adult frame, but the voice is that of a small girl, which is exactly as disconcerting as you'd think. Anyway, the synth says that it was just traveling with a guardian, 2TC when Salt found them. And yes, 2TC has killed before, but only in self defense! There's no room for synths in Colorado Springs, everybody hates them, and if they want to survive they need to kill people who're willing to kill them!

    Will she kill again if we let her go?

    In a heartbeat, she responds. She's not willing to live in secret or let herself be killed. So if it comes down to us or her, she's picking her.

    Unfortunate. Honestly, I'd like to let her go. Her position isn't that different than, say, basically anybody in town. "You try to kill me, I'll defend myself." But I still don’t want a confessed killer running loose and try to arrest her.

    Wish I'd known that shooting her would mean shooting up the animatronics as well. But eh, we can pin it on Salt. And it's not like the museum's open anyway, so if we're lucky nobody will notice… all the. Gunshots.

    Erm. Crap.


    So, here's a fun fact. I've never actually played Wasteland 1 or got further than Highpool/Ag Center in Wasteland 2. So I have basically no knowledge of synths beyond "androids linked up to Cochise AI." Anybody got a better source of lore for them?
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  11. - Top - End - #11
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Speaking of Ag Center vs. Highpool, in this episode: a time-limited binary choice where we can only save one group of people! Hopefully it has fewer repercussions than in Wasteland 2.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #10: Hit the Road, Kodiak
    Show
    We're saved from awkward questions by the crackle of the radio.

    Up to this point, we've been forbidden to enter Broadmoor Heights, the section of Colorado Springs where the Patriarch and the rest of the Hundred Families live. The gate guards turned us away with a note that we can enter if we're given sponsorship by somebody who lives there.

    Well, wouldn’t you know it, the person on the radio is willing to let us in.

    You'd think that Lucia would have been enough to get us in, but I guess not. Either way, we make a stop by at her house, let her pay her respects. The house is a mess--it reeks of wood smoke and fully half of it is blocked off by upturned furniture, with only a locked safe and a mine-trapped room untouched. She's kind enough to let us rifle through what remains, but has to take a bit of fresh air while we do so.

    The voice on the radio, when we arrive at the Hundred Families chapel, introduces himself as Gideon Reyes. He's dismayed at the number of refugees that have swarmed his town, and wants our help in cutting off the source. It's not that he's biased against refugees--yeah, buddy, sure--it's that Colorado Springs simply doesn't have the resources to feed every person in the Eastern Plains who makes their way here. And somehow, more keep coming despite the Marshall's every effort to cut them off. Gideon hears rumors about some smugglers in the Bizarre, far to the south, and could we please investigate?

    Well, I'm not too happy about going against refugees, but political expedience demands we suck up to the most powerful until we're able to stand on our own, not least because half of us are either ex-Marshall or current Hundred Families.

    The Bizarre is new ground for Kris and I. Kwon seems to be confident he can navigate us there, though, so into the Kodiak we climb and we hit the road.

    Or at least, we plan to hit the road because the second the Kodiak noses out of Ranger HQ, we get a distress call from an Arapaho caravan. The Arapaho are basically road nomads who handle nearly every caravan and garage from here to Arizona--good guys to have on side, in short, especially as they say they're carrying goods destined for the Marshalls. We confer, and decide that this is worth detouring for.

    Or at least, try to detour. Because we get about fifty feet before the radio crackles again, this time with hick noises. It's the brother of that Dorsey we blew away back at the dam, and he says if we don't come and face him, the family he's holding hostage is gonna get it.

    The conference is a bit more difficult this time. On the one hand, the Arapahos are still more important to the Marshalls than one family. On the other, if we don't rescue the Hoons, can we really claim to be living up to Ranger ideals of helping the poor and helpless?

    Those Arapaho better be friggin' grateful, is what I'm saying.

    When we get there, the Arapaho are mostly dead, with only a few stragglers hanging on. They're surrounded by--I think they call themselves Scar Collectors? Seems like a weird name, honestly. "Hi, we're bad at combat, look at how bad we are, look at our scars."

    Not that tough a fight, all things considered. We're outnumbered, yes, but the Kodiak is backing us up. That thing's minigun shreds through all resistance, and what it can't shoot, it can bulldoze. (Granted, I had to reload the save several times until I figured out that we were failing the mission because I kept roadkilling the person I was trying to save. Whoops.)

    I wish we could have saved more. One of the Arapaho bled out while we watched because none of our team are particularly good at first aid. Still, we saved who we could.

    Which doesn't include the Hoon family. By the time we get there, the house is barely more than a smoking crater.

    We bury their bodies. It seems like the least we can do before we move on to the Bizarre.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-22 at 09:58 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #12
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    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #11: The True Evil Is Clowns
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    We hear the Bizarre long before we see it.

    Rather, we hear the voice on the radio--a thick, Transylvanian accent straight out of a monster movie. But not one of the good monster movies? One of those really old cheesy monster flicks, vere ze monster talks like he's got a mousful of marbles and ze actors haven't figured out zey're not on a stage. Anyway, Lugosi on the radio velcomes us to the Bizarre, home of commerce, Flab ze Inhaler, und ze Monster army!

    Okay. You ready? I'm gonna stop the accents now. You can sigh in relief, I won't mind. But they're still there. Radio's still in Transylfauxnian. I'm just saving all of our sanity by not typing them out.

    Anyway. I read a bit about the Monster Army when I was in the Patriarch's museum. Granted, most of it was rabid patriotic mythology about how the Patriarch defeated the Monster Army and made them swear fealty and now everything is perfect in Colorado Springs, but there's gotta be a kernal of truth under all those creative exaggerations. They used to be some kind of gang, I think, and yeah, the Patriarch beat them in a fight. Probably. Now they basically just run the Bizarre, Colorado's premiere hub of commerce.

    As we approach it, though, it looks like nothing so much as a mound of snow looming in the distance. We park, but before we can approach the firelight, we hear someone hailing us. The sharply dressed man--how is he not freezing right now? Must have very solid long-johns under that suit--introduces us as Anandras, a Mannerite come from afar to spread the glorious teachings of proper etiquette. Fortunately, Kwon is plenty smooth, and gets on the guy's good side, which means he opens up to us.

    From what he says, the Bizarre is jealously guarded by the Monster Army. No pass, no entry. That's why there's this little bunker full of wretches who haven't mustered the cash for the new pass. Sure, we could probably just go up to the freaks in the letterman jackets and monster masks and buy an entry pass. We could also try to find somebody willing to sell theirs to us. They are transferrable but, he scoffs, good luck with finding someone willing to part with theirs. Then again, the ruins around the Bizarre are perilous, full of monsters. Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and find somebody in the ruins who, erm, doesn't need their pass anymore.

    Wandering the ruins is not the smart choice. The smart choice is to just march up and try to either shmooze or buy our way into the Bizarre. We're not exactly flush for cash, but we're also no longer penniless after all the jobs we did in Colorado Springs. Still, Kris and I share a look, and decide the ruins need to be explored, if for no other reason but to make sure we don’t miss that refugee smuggling operation.

    And find it we do. That is to say, we cross a bridge and find ourselves staring down the barrel of several turrets and just as many rocket launchers.

    Which is to say, we don't find it. Nope, no smuggling operation here. At least, not until we have better guns and preferably more people backing us up.

    What we do find, though, is clowns.

    Weird, right? Just. Clowns. Full-on facepaint, red noses, flamethrowers, big shoes…

    Wait.

    Yeah, the Payaso's aren't friendly. The second we show our faces, they shout something about the ultimate joke, throw some smoke grenades, and open up with the big guns.

    Arrow is not amused. Flamethrowers and LMGs are his schtick, thanks much. What's worse, all the smoke makes it almost impossible to actually shoot them. Eventually, we just resort to tossing grenades and self-assembling turrets, as those let us cower where they can't get to us.

    The worst is definitely some kinda sick parody of a dentist who's got a scalpel the size of a sword. He won't buy that we need to reschedule our appointment, so once more we rely on grenades and turrets. So many turrets--we have six at the beginning of this fight and only one by the end.

    But! In addition to that one turret, we have a pass to the Bizarre!

    Ignore the blood on it. It's not relevant.
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  13. - Top - End - #13
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    This one isn't really up to my normal standards, but there's a lot of stuff to get through, so buckle up.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #12: The Killing Joke
    Show
    We should really ignore the hatch.

    We're in the middle of a mess of our own making, surrounded by charred clowns and one badly-shot-up dentist. But the hatch has a space that's just the right size to accept the Bizarre key pass. I mean, we fought our way here because we were curious. Do you really expect us to do that and not jump down a strange hole in the ground?

    And I wish I could say that when we see even more Payasos, we nope the hell out of there. But I figure, so long as we don't catch their attention and are quick about it, we can sneak by them because curiosity is killing me.

    Curiosity doesn't pay off, really. Besides tons of pigs--strapped with explosives, curiously--we find a man locked behind a door who immediately quotes some jibber jabber at us and starts to follow us. I mean, the Payasos don't seem to notice him, so it doesn't matter to me, but I decide that we've pushed our luck enough. There are enough Payasos in the basement that, based on the fight upstairs, we don't want to pick a fight. Even if they're split into four major groups, they still outnumber us five to one.

    That means that it's time to head back to the frigid outside of the mall, where the Monster Army have parked a camper van over the hatch to the Bizarre. Kris holds his breath as they eye the pass suspiciously, but the gate guard decides it passes muster and waves the man operating the machinery to pull the van back and let us in.

    The door greeter--who's wearing what looks like a poorly patched werewolf mask--unslouches from a handy pillar and prepares to launch into an obviously well-prepared shpiel. He doesn't get more than a few words before he's stopped by a door banging open. Then five hundred pounds of bacon strapped with dynamite squeals past, runs in a circle, and detonates all over the noodle stand.

    Needless to say, Simon the Squatch is more than a little thrown in his intro. (And yes, that's his actual name, holy crap.) But he rallies magnificently and tells us all about how the Bizarre has all the amenities of the Old World, available for anybody with enough money!

    "Movies?"

    "Um, no. Projector broke down years ago."

    "Hotel?"

    "Full up."

    "Gladiatorial deathsports?"

    "Maybe back in the old days before the Patriarch, but unfortunately no."

    "…What do you have?"

    "Look. We got food, armor, and a brothel. Be happy, okay?"

    This is especially true, he adds, as apparently there's monsters in the basement.

    "Is it clowns?"

    "Why would--"

    "Because it's clowns. You have clowns in the basement. With explosive pigs. We met."

    "Oh. Talk to Flab, I guess."

    Flab the Inhaler is everything I expected from the name--short, wider than he is tall, wearing a tuxedo that creaks at the seams, and gargling his syllables around a set of plastic vampire fangs. I'm a bit thrown by the wall-to-wall flooring of foam puzzle pieces, though. Just saying, it's a curious decision to make an office out of the playspace. And the slow-mo distorted version of the Monster Mash blaring from the speakers just adds the cherry on the top of this sundae of weirdness.

    Thankfully, after two sentences of gargling his phonemes, Flab spits out the plastic teeth. He respects us enough to cut the charade, so let's straight to business, shall we? There's something in the basement.

    "Yeah, we know. Payasos. They're in the outskirts, they're in the basement, they've got explosive pigs. And flamethrowers. Did we mention the flamethrowers?"

    Flab isn't too pleased, but knows a bit about the Payasos. Vicious gang of thugs, he says, like them in the old days. Except the Monster Army grew out of it when the Patriarch conquered them, killed anybody who resisted, and give Flab the options of ruling in his stead or death. The Payasos just rob, and kill, citing some "ultimate joke" that people haven't gotten yet.

    But, Flab's willing to shell out somewhere close to a thousand bucks, and is even willing to give an advance with some of Kwon's sweet talking. That's good money, and it's enough for us to head down to the market, talk to the weird monk running the guns shop, and get ourselves outfitted for some clown killing.

    Honestly, it isn't as bad as I expected based on the dentist upstairs. The Payasos are mean, sure, and the guys with the flamethrowers put down team members more than once. But they're not as tough as the group out in the ruins.

    Finally, after putting down the three groups in the basement, we've put together enough of the code pieces to answer a limerick codephrease to face the final group. And, writing it back down now, good heavens my life got weird fast.

    It gets weirder. The final group is a preacher putting the final touches of facepaint on a statue. It's the Payaso Rojo, he claims, the original member of the group and the first teller of the Joke. The Joke, in essence, amounts to "life sucks and none of us are getting out alive, so go ahead and make life miserable for everyone in the meantime."

    I'm probably not getting all the subtlety in that joke. Buncha nihilistic pricks. Yeah, we murder them but good. Little chapel makes for a good battleground, with lots of easy cover. I kinda anticipated the fight, so we snuck most of the group up on top of the choir stand before we actually engaged, which made the fight much simpler.

    Honestly, there are worse ways to spend a day. Flab thanks us for our effort and declares us friends of the Bizarre, which earns us a discount at all the shops.

    Wish he'd let us know he was going to do that before we spent all our money on new gear.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-09-28 at 05:19 PM.
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  14. - Top - End - #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Balmas View Post
    Spoiler
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    Wish he'd let us know he was going to do that before we spent all our money on new gear.
    But that would have been a bad business decision.


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  15. - Top - End - #15
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    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #13: In Search Of Nissin
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    Eventually I tell Lucia to either put away her new gun or shoot me with it.

    Look, I understand, right? It's a new toy, it's fancy and shiny, and the mods she's attached to it mean that in a pinch the new Mateba can function as--and resembles--a sniper rifle. But the constant spiiiiin-click of her playing with the cylinder is getting on my nerves. Lucia's looking to play with her new toy.

    Fortunately, the folks of the Bizarre are only too glad to take advantage of our help.

    The noodle vendor is easiest to please--he's here because he heard rumors that once upon a time, the Bizarre had that holiest of treasures: a packet of instant ramen noodles, which are infinitely better than the homemade kind he makes. But we actually already have it, since we bullied a vending machine into giving up its loot when we were clearing out the clowns. He goggles at it, and, his pilgrimage complete, announces that he'll cook at Ranger HQ in eternal gratitude.

    Eidolon is a bit trickier to please. See, she runs Chick Flix, the finest den of sin this side of the Rockies--strippers, negotiable affection, erotic video, you name it. But that third one is the issue. She's a wiz with video editing, but there's only so much you can do with a limited supply of, ahem, material. It grows stale, people have seen it all, and she needs us to head to the Monster Army's old bunker to filch some fresh fetish film fuel from the movie theater there.

    Trouble is, the Bunker's surrounded by radiation. We try a number of different routes in the Kodiak, but no dice. The only way to get into that bunker is to upgrade the Kodiak with a better, rad-resistant chassis. And the only way to do that is to please our Broadmoor Heights, refugee-hating patron. Which means facing down the turrets and rocket launchers we didn't find earlier.

    Honestly, it's not so bad as I thought it would be. Kris hacking one of the turrets and Arrow blowing the other one up means that it's just down to like six people against us. And yeah, that's more than we have, but we're actually better armed than they are now that we've saved the Bizarre. That Mateba punches through armor like it's nothing, and Arrow's new Incinerator just tears them apart.

    When the dust settles, we hear a pounding coming from a steel shutter nearby. Kris unlocks it, and a woman in tattered clothing practically falls out of it. They're some of the plains refugees destined for Colorado Springs, but when they got here, the mercs who were supposed to bring them the rest of the way just shoved them into this bunker, stole their things, and left them to rot.

    That, of course, puts us in a difficult situation. See, they have basically no hope on their own. They have no money, no Bizarre pass, and now that we've killed them, no transport. They're too many to fit into the Kodiak, and frankly even if we could fit them, I think that pulling into Colorado Springs and dropping a shipment of refugees might cause some raised eyebrows in our patron's circles. So, we need to find another way for them. Fortunately, Lucia remembers talking to somebody who runs a caravan in the Bizarre's noodle stand. Initially, he wants something like five hundred dollars for the job, but Kwon talks him into seeing it as good PR to do the job for free.

    That just means that, having eliminated the smugglers, we need to make sure that the person funding them also gets put away. The grateful refugees point us towards Mama Cotter, matriarch of the Cotter clan in Colorado Springs. Her sons are all up in arm when we ask her to stop, but she tells them to stand down--she recognizes that we put down the Dorseys in the Garden of the Gods, and news of the Payasos in the Bizarre has started to filter in. She'll come quietly.

    I'm not happy with the decision, especially since two minutes later one of the Marshalls pulls us over and thanks us for the shipment of power armor we saved from the Scar collectors. He can't wait to put some refugees in their place!

    Gabriel Reyes is overjoyed to hear the news, and tells us he's pulled some strings with the Arapahos. They'll man our garage back at HQ, which means we can finally upgrade the Kodiak.

    But before we can get back to HQ, our radio crackles again. And boy howdy, is the message a doozy.


    And yes, that's a cliff for all y'all to hang onto.
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  16. - Top - End - #16
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    I mean, it's only been a week or so of dangling you off that cliff, right?

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris: Betrayal
    Show
    As far as call signs go, "Dead Red" is a touch on the dramatic side. And their first request, to swap to a different frequency, matches perfectly.

    I mean, I kind of understand? They're worried that somebody's listening in on our communications. So, if we swap to a different channel that's not being listened to, then whatever's said won't be overheard.

    But. Um. What's preventing somebody listening in on our channel from, you know, also swapping to that new frequency?

    You know what, nevermind, because the next few words blow us out of the water. Dead Red is Angela Deth!

    ….

    Okay, so I guess that for people who aren't born in the Rangers, that might not be the bombshell it feels like. Look, imagine if one day your phone rang and they said it was God on the line. Angela Deth is a legend. She was at Base Cochise when it went nuclear! She was part of Team Echo when Cochise tried to rise from its grave! She's been taking names and kicking ass for twenty years now. If you grew up with the Rangers, it's even odds whether you crushed on Deth or Snake Vargas. (And Kris and I, lucky us, got to commiserate about how it's not fair to make us choose, they're both hot, holy crap.)

    And she's also supposed to be dead.

    Remember way back on the dam? The ranger who bit it there told us that before this whole "we give you troops, Patriarch gives us aid" mission got started, they sent an advance team to survey the land and decide whether the mission was viable. Angela Deth and a handful of rangers went in alone and never came back. Missing in action, presumed dead.

    Well, that's not the whole truth, she says. Yeah, she was sent in to survey the area. But Ranger command knows exactly why they didn't come back. They're not MIA, they're AWOL. They found out things about the Patriarch that convinced them that helping him is the last thing the Rangers oughtta do. Ranger HQ disagreed, went forward with the deal, and Angela's been working in the shadows to try to stop it ever since.

    At this point, I can feel Kwon's pleasant half-lidded gaze drilling holes in the back of my head. I've grown accustomed to having the Patriarch's little spy in our group, but right now I'm nervous he's gonna make a break to cross the hundred feet to the Marshall's office.

    Surely she has, erm, proof, right? Because if it were just you and me, ma'am, I'd be with you in a shot, but there are people relying on us. Can't just go off-base on your say so, much as I'd be one hundred percent willing. I mean, I've gotten the feelings that the propaganda in that museum ain't exactly the truth, but we can't risk everybody in Arizona on feelings.

    It's a reasonable ask, she says. And yeah, she thinks she has just the thing to convince us. There's a statue in Broadmoor Heights. Shows Saul Buchanan receiving the right to rule from his father, right? Well, if you take a look at the plaque describing it, you'll find a secret keyhole that opens a door to a secret bunker. Go on in. We'll get what she means pretty quickly.

    ***

    The door's right where Deth said it would be, which I suppose is already a point in her favor.

    I… I don't know how to feel about what we find. It's a bunker, yeah. Of course it is. After all, the Hundred Families are all descendants of people who survived the bombs in bunkers. Buchanan is Hundred Families, ergo, he has a bunker.

    But Kwon says that most of the Hundred Families bunkers weren't much more than cellars. Holes deep enough in the ground that the fallout didn't penetrate, with maybe some canned goods and a bucket slowly filling with crap.

    This is more than that. For instance, let's take the hydroponics lab large enough to feed a city. Or the power generator the size of a barn. Or the library. A library! Any one of those things is precious beyond words!

    My gut churns.

    And what does Saul Buchanan, legendary father to his men, tamer of the Eastern Plains Gangs, destroyer of Dorseys, do with all these resources?

    He squats on them. No, squatting's not a strong enough word. He ruins them, lets them run fallow. The plants in the hydroponics lab are dry and crackly from years of not being watered. The generator swims in knee-deep water and is infested with mutated frogs. The library reeks of rot and mildew.

    It's rage. That's the feeling coalescing in me, burning like an ember in my stomach. The Patriarch could share any and all of this. There are refugees starving in Colorado Springs right now.. He could feed them, right now, if he'd just cared enough to send down a few mechanics now and again.

    And suddenly my mind is full of all those complaints. From Charley Knowes. From Faran Brygo. From Mama Cotter. From Flab. All of these people saying that the Patriarch doesn't care about anybody but the people keeping him in charge. And they're right.

    Even Kwon and Lucia are looking a little sick to the stomach. This is news for them, just as much as it is for us.

    But no, the Patriarch doesn't have enough resources to take care of things, he says. No, he needs our help, he says. But of course, all his men are committed to taking care of issues. You know, except for the thirty man security detail that he has, making sure that nobody fixes up his bunker.

    Once the dust settles, our radio crackles. Deth again. It gets worse, apparently. There's somebody we need to meet, by the name of Ironclad Cordite.

    Now, Cordite is kept under lock and key. Fortunately, we've already cleared out the generator room of its frogs, which means we have access to the ventilation ducts. And wouldn'cha know it, they lead right to his cell. Cordite is thick and tall, ripped with muscles. But what really stands out is that his entire left arm has been ripped off. Instead, he bears a cyborg arm, complete with built-in shotgun. Disturbing, but useful--it means that when we come around the corner to fight the wardens on his cell, the shells we slipped him lets him blast the door open and join the melee.

    Why is Cordite important? Well, remember that Arapaho caravan we rescued a week ago? Remember how I made fun of the Scar Collectors?

    Yeah, he's their boss.

    Or rather, he was. The story the Patriarch tells is that he whupped the Eastern Plains gangs and forced them out of Colorado. Cordite's version is very different--the Patriarch bribed them to leave. It wasn't so much conquest as it was tribute--stay out of his hair, and they get a cushy setup.

    And that cushy setup made him soft. He relaxed, let the tribute flow, and didn't pay attention until somebody in his gang rose up and kicked him out. And when Cordite ran to the Patriarch for help getting his gang under control, Buchanan locked him up. He'd gone from a useful pawn to a liability, and therefore was no longer needed.

    I'm hesitant at first, but Cordite says there's somebody else who can back him up on this story--another former plains gang leader who, like him, got ousted, ran to the Patriarch, and got imprisoned. And sure enough, that's the story that Walks-on-Clouds tells, almost verbatim. Patriarch paid off the Godfishers, gang rose up, Patriarch imprisoned him when he became a liability.

    Realistically speaking, this isn't our fight. Our job is to get Buchanan's useless children back in line so that when he kicks the bucket he can pass the torch to the new generation. We do that, Arizona gets the aid it needs. We don't do that, Arizona dies. We should not, cannot accord to get involved in this.

    But I'm here about two hours after giving a stirring speech to the recruits at HQ, angry that the refugees are taking up space in the Barracks. I just spent ten minutes talking about the virtues of caring for others, of the importance of the oath the Rangers take to help, of how shameful their selfish behavior is.

    So I guess we're overthrowing the Patriarch.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-10-08 at 10:19 AM.
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  17. - Top - End - #17
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    This time, with pictures!

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #15: The North Pole
    Show
    Angela Deth assures us that the Patriarch can't publicly act against us for kidnapping Cordite. Publicly, he doesn't have a bunker full of supplies guarded by a mercenary army, so publicly he can't punish us for breaking somebody out of it.

    I'm still too nervous to hang around Colorado Springs, though. Best not to take chances, right?

    And I figure, hey. We just got our mechanics to upgrade the Kodiak. It should be able to withstand all but the heaviest rad storms, which means that a whole lot of the map just opened up to us. We could head to Denver now, make a show of how good we are at getting the Patriarch's children, see, totally not planning your demise at all and totally not planning on stabbing all of your children in the back.

    But I'm more interested in picking a direction and going 'til we can't no more.

    A few hours later, in the mountains north of Colorado Springs, our radio crackles.



    In the Kodiak, it's dead silent for a long few seconds. Then, with exaggerated care, Kris reaches forward and thumbs the call button on the radio.

    "Headquarters, please confirm that copy?"



    Well, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that this isn't how I predicted today would play out.

    Santa's workshop, it turns out, is an old abandoned bowling alley with some plastic reindeers scattered on the front lawn. Inside, though, some major work has been done to retrofit the building with all the homey comforts of the North Pole. A raging fire burns in the hearth, several people hunch over wooden benches assembling toys, and there by the door is the fat man himself.

    I'll admit, the traditional image of the North Pole usually doesn't include death robots, but there they are, energy weapons crackling.

    And holy crap, Santa's ripped. I mean, yes, he's got the fat and the jiggle and the beard and a red-dyed fur longcoat and everything. But the way he's hefting the LMG on his back means that there's solid muscle under that blubber.

    That's hot. I wonder whether Santa'd be up for--no, no, mind on why we're here.

    Speaking of, one of the elves is staring at us and making furtive "c'mere" motions.

    Santa scowls. "What's that? Is one of my elves complaining? Mary, am I going to have to give you your daily candy caning?"

    [I am not making this up. That is a verbatim quote from the game.]

    When Santa gets distracted by a robot, we sidle over to Mary. She can't say much, not with Santa watching, but if we make our way to the back room, things will become clear.

    And boy howdy, do they ever. The front room is full of happy elves making toys. The back room, once Kris picks the lock, is full of the same elves wearing bomb collars, huddled over chemistry benches, filling pipette and syringes. Santa's running a drug operation in his back room.

    Now, I don't have a problem with drugs. But using some kinda radio mind control and enslaving dozens of people to make it happen? Not on my watch.

    I didn't anticipate killing Santa today, but I guess that's a thing now.



    Did I mention Santa's a tough SOB surrounded by Death robots? Yeah, his gun does as much damage as a revolver, and he fires five times per burst. Lucia, our main damage dealer, goes down basically every round. And then, just when Arrow's lining up the shot with his flamethrower to nail Santa for the final kill, she has the nerve to get snippy about "collateral damage" and "innocent lives."

    Spoiler: And I guess I see her point. Flamethrowers are perhaps not the best weapon for use in crowded interiors.
    Show


    (Which doesn't stop me from putting Arrow into ambush mode so when Santa moves, Arrow wipes out the entire room. It's okay. Lucia was unconscious at the time, so she can't prove that the charred bodies are my doing.)

    And the worst bit? Once Santa's quietly steaming in the corner, we don't even get to loot his sweet LMG. I was looking forward to seeing Arrow with a new bit of kit, but I guess we can't have that. I mean, yes, we've essentially canceled Christmas for everyone, but I'm the one not getting loot.

    Mary looks nervous to see our return, like she's worried we're just gonna keep them enslaved. But Kris has already hacked the computer to turn off the bomb collars, so that's not an issue. The elves all run out--you know, except for the fifteen or so that Arrow "accidentally" toasted, oops--and we're left with a drug recipe and an empty warehouse.

    You know what, I'm gonna go back to getting film for the porn studio. It'll probably make more sense than all of this.


    Spoiler: Further quest spoilers:
    Show
    I looked it up later on. It turns out that in addition to the solution I used--be good enough at lockpicking and hacking to unlock the back door and hack through the collars' lock and killing Santa--there are apparently also outcomes that include working with Santa, killing Santa and then enslaving the elves yourselves, and the ability to bring the elves back to HQ to mass produce drugs for the Rangers. Love this game.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-10-19 at 12:33 AM.
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  18. - Top - End - #18
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    A much shorter one for y'all, and one which I hesitate to post as it edges towards board rule territory.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris: Goat Thrusters
    Show
    Now that the Kodiak's upgraded, getting to the Monster Army bunker is a piece of cake. It's further into the radiation cloud than we've ever been, but not a peep comes out of the geiger counter in the entire trip.

    Admittedly, having come from the Patriach's megaluxe vacation bunker, this bunker feels a bit underwhelming. It's a hole in the ground and it has power, but it looks like the Monster Army already stripped out most of the essentials when they made the move to the Bizarre.

    It seems a curious choice, then, to leave the small army of death robots behind. Thanks for the warning about that, Eidolon. Oh sure, it'll be a milk run to grab some film from the old movie theater, Rangers, don't worry Rangers, by the way the code to turn the killer robots off is…

    It's bullets. Bullets are the anti-robot code. Really, it's surprising how many things bullets are code for.

    Once we put down the robots, it's easy enough to grab the tapes and hightail it back to the Bizarre. Eidolon holds the reel up to the light and clicks her tongue disapprovingly. The reels have deteriorated, she says--there's not enough for a full show from any of them. But maybe, if we were to piece them together and leave the smut to the imagination…

    And here, I'll admit that Eidolon shows why she's a master of her craft. A man with a whip running from a rolling boulder is a setup for a scene between him and a priestess. A car struck by lightning and disappearing in a blaze of fire is the perfect place for some hot steamy car loving!

    We just need a title and a star. Of course, Goat Thrusters is the only possible choice, and Kwon--shifting eagerly behind us--is the perfect male lead. I'm sure that having one of the Patriarch's ex-marshalls starring in this kind of role can only be good publicity for us and have no negative repercussions ever!
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  19. - Top - End - #19
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    I'm not sure whether this or the one about the Patriarch's bunker is longer, but this one is a doozy.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #17: The Morning and Evening Star
    Show
    By now, we've done all we know how to do.

    That is to say, stepping out of character, we've run out of side quests at this point in the game. I'm sure there are more coming up, but we're already level 17 or so, and the game recommends we be at least level 9 to face the Gibbers. So we're just a little bit overleveled.

    And again, out of character but in as well, I despise Ronald Reagan. Between the union busting, the war on drugs, the arms dealing in the middle east, the plunder of social security for his own personal benefit, the demonization of communism, the redlining, the myth of the welfare queen, the rise of the evangelical right, the myth of trickle-down economics, and the nonexistent response to the AIDS crisis, the exacerbation or creation of many of America's current issues can be traced directly back to him. It's one of my private wishes that Reagan's name should forever be remembered in the company of other mass-murdering nitwits like Hitler, Pol Pot, and Stalin.

    So when I learned that one of the factions is a maniac cult who worship an AI version of Reagan as their god and Messiah, it is fair to say that I made Plans.

    Now, to recap:

    The Patriarch set a bargain with Arizona Ranger HQ. We help him round up his bastard children, and he sends supplies to Arizona. He wants them alive so that he can train them up to replace him when he dies.

    The reason we're going to Denver is because of Valor Buchanan. By all accounts, he's a bit of a softy when it comes to violence, but is a wiz with technology. Perhaps too much of one, honestly--Buchanan says that part of the reason that Liberty almost succeeded in her first coup attempt was because Valor had taken apart a crucial alarm system. Valor was appointed to the Gippers as an ambassador, but it's really more of a banishment to keep Valor out of Buchanan's hair and hopefully teach him some social skills.

    Unfortunately, it looks like Valor picked up too many of the social skills. In his role as ambassador, he turned around and persuaded the Gippers to cut Colorado Springs off from the only oil refinery around. This is a problem, as no fuel means no heat means everybody freezes to death when it gets too cold, which is every day in the mountains during a nuclear winter.

    Complicating this a little bit is what Angela Deth's asked of us. If we're going to overthrow the Patriarch and install ourselves as Colorado's new--and hopefully better--rulers, we need legitimacy. If any of the Patriarch's children are alive, they present a threat to our new regime, an alternative faction that could make a bid for power. Valor has to die.

    So we need to kill Valor, restore the flow of oil to Colorado Springs, all without raising the ire or eyebrows of the local lord. Piece of cake.

    Before we can get to Denver, though, we hear a voice crackling on the radio. Agent Morningstar tells us he used to be part of the Secret Service, but ever since the end of the world, he's been trapped underneath Union Station. He's requesting backup to help him.

    Well, we're not Secret Service. But anybody who's been in a bunker for this long has to be running out of supplies, so we agree to hightail it there.

    When we get there, it turns out a buncha lowlifes have set up camp over the main entrance. Their leader reminds me of nothing so much as a human shark--half his face is covered with swirling stylized flame tattoos, and the other half is covered in a network of scars that drags one side of his mouth into a permanent, snaggle-toothed sneer.

    His name is Fishlips. Spot on, I guess.

    Anyway, Fishlips and his crew have rolled up to loot Union Station, and we almost come to blows over us jumping their claim. But Kwon's smooth tongue convinces them that hey, we're about to go blow the hell out of the Gippers, right? Why should Fishlips care about Union Station when Denver's about to be up for grabs?

    Note to self. Kill the crap out of Fishlips after we rescue Agent Morningstar, because while I'm totally killing the Gippers, I'm not having this wasteland mongrel in their place either.

    Unfortunately, when we step into the station proper, we’re immediately attacked by his second in command. Either he didn't spread the news, or she was looking to make a play, because every other member of the gang inside the station does the same.

    We fight our way to the control terminal Morningstar points us towards. Like I said, we're slightly overleveled in that we're twice the recommended level for this area. That means that while we're still somewhat limited by the weapons available to us, we have the health to tank most of the damage they can put out. Benefits of playing on Normal instead of Supreme Jerk, I suppose. The only exception is right before the control terminal--due to the way the level is designed, Kwon gets pinned at the bottom of a ladder and is almost instantly surrounded by wolves. Kwon can't leave the space at the bottom of the ladder, and that in turn means that the rest of the party clusters around the top of the ladder and can neither get beads on the wolves nor climb down the ladder. Thank goodness for the way grenades arc and Normal mode's lack of friendly fire, is all I'm saying.

    Kwon has to clear some mines to get at the terminal and I feel really smart until I realize the bunker holding the terminal has a hole in the back wall. So why'd Morningstar insist we couldn't just pick the lock without clearing the mines?

    Things become a bit clearer when we read the terminal and Morningstar starts talking to us through it. Come on down to the basement, he says.

    And what an intriguing cask you must have down there, Montresor. Is it wrong for me to be immediately suspicious of that?

    If things were a bit clearer when the terminal started talking, they become positively crystal once we enter the basement. Morningstar isn't a secret service agent--or at least, not the traditional, flesh and blood kind. Instead, a sleek limo sits surrounded by supercomputers.

    Or maybe sleek isn't the word. It's squat, heavy, has a barrel big enough to put the fear of the Lord into the average battleship, and is armored like its limo mother had a night in Vegas with a tank. But every line screams speed. It shouts that yes, it will eat rockets without scratching the glossy black paint, but it'll also do it at a hundred miles an hour.

    Morningstar, it explains, is the most advanced combat AI ever constructed. It was purpose-built to be the personal combat transport of the Elder Statesman.

    …Elder Statesman? Who and when?

    President Reagan, it clarifies.

    I can feel Kris tense beside me, and I admit I clench a bit as well. No, no, that's not fair. Give the presidential limo a chance to explain itself.

    It's the most advanced limo ever created, it explains. But while the AI portion and energy cannon are functional, the scientists designing it never managed to succeed in creating the power supply that could propel the massive weight of its chassis. It's dead in the water, here in the basement under Union Station, with no hope of ever leaving. What's more, its sole purpose in living has been dead for decades. Morningstar is, in fact, suicidal.

    I sympathize with it, really. It's not its fault that its sole purpose in being was piloting around one of nature's perfect ***holes.

    But maybe instead, it could ferry us around? After all, Kris has, in my opinion, one of nature's perfect asses. Is that close enough?

    Hmm. Morningstar ponders it for a few seconds. It still doesn't have the power it needs to leave the basement. (And instantly, my five-minute-old dreams of blasting across the wasteland in a nuclear limousine are dashed against the rocks of reality.) But there's a way to remove the AI core from the limo, though it introduces its own complications. The scientists, in their zeal to ensure that no dirty commies like us could do exactly what we're thinking of doing, programmed in a failsafe. If the core is pulled out, the rest of the limo will go supernova. That means that A) we get blown to hell if we do this wrong and B) there won't be enough time to pull the core and get the unique one-of-a-kind energy cannon that it was going to give us for assisting in its demise.

    But have I told you my husband's a genius? Between his programming skills and Arrow's knack with mechanics, we're able to delay the self-destruct just long enough to get the core and get out to the Kodiak.

    Morningstar is… well, perhaps not put out with his new form. Disappointed slightly, maybe. I don't think it approves of the clown-head minigun or the goat mortar. But it is, at least, mobile. And it's helping to bring justice to the wasteland, and can finally see more than what little it could pick up on the radio, which is more than it could do in the basement. And hey, talking car which gets +2 AP and can be slotted with all those fancy upgrades we've found like afterburners or a perfect rad shield! Good to have you on the team, Morningstar.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-10-25 at 12:54 PM.
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  20. - Top - End - #20
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Sorry for the long delay between posts, folks. Work got busy now that the winter season is here, plus I sprained my ankle twice in two weeks. Not a fun month.

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #18: The Western West Wing
    Show
    My morning starts with watching a giant statue vaporize a robot, and gets worse from there.

    The first sign we're getting close to the Gippers' compound is the forest of undulating oil pumps. And there are plenty of those thumping monstrosities dragging oil from the earth. But as the Kodiak drives closer, it becomes plain that in the sea of grey, there are also statues, copper going green. And every single one is Reagan. Reagan kissing a baby. Reagan triumphant over what is presumably the corpse of a communist. Reagan receiving the divine right to rule from God on high. Reagan dual-wielding AK-47s while riding the back of a velociraptor.

    No, I'm not kidding.

    But the robot, you ask? Don't worry, I'm getting there.

    The biggest statue by far sits in the courtyard of the compound itself. And what a statue! Mecha is perhaps a better term, even if it's only the upper half of one. Still, a forty-foot-tall torso is fairly impressive! I can already see that Kris is starting to mutter figures on materials sciences and stresses and how the hell does that thing hold together?

    Then the Reagan-Mecha speaks to, and I swear on my mother's grave I'm not making this up, a woman in full red robes. Like, full on Red Wizard, Technopriest, festooned-with-metal robes. Nancy, he calls her. Mother Nancy Reliance, which is a hell of a mouthful. Today's order of business? The sentencing of two enemies to Capitalism, God, and the American Way. You can hear the capital letters clanging around the words, the way they speak.

    The first victim? A member of a gang that's been harassing Denver. We actually met the former leader of the Godfishers back when we busted Cordite out of the Patriarch's bunker. Their entire deal, as far as I can figure, is that they take their victims, skin them alive, and use their bones to stretch the skin into a kind of flesh kite. The gods come down to bite at the offerings, and grant rain in return. Godfishers. Buncha cult weirdoes.

    Naturally, Reagan doesn't have an issue with her. She's just one of America's misguided youths, and it'd be a shame to cut a life like that short just because she murdered three people and sent one of them screaming into the sky on a raft of his own skin. Full pardon.

    But the robot standing next to her? Oh goodness, he doesn't have an issue with it either.

    But don't you remember, Nancy Reliance prompts, that's one of the members of the robot commune hunkered down in the Denver airport? It came to our community and tried to heal our community members, Ronnie, and you know what that means--it's a filthy, mother-loving, free-healthcare-distributing commie.

    And the Reagan-mecha blasts it into a pile of charred silica with its eye-lasers. I don't need to turn my head to know that Kris's eyes just lit up with Plans. Probably wants to mount it on Morningstar if he can.

    Speaking of Morningstar, guess who chooses to mouth off at that moment about how he's not impressed by this fake version of the Elder Statesman? And boy howdy, if you thought the Reagan-mecha's stare was lethal, wait until you get stared at by Nancy Reliance. Got a stare that could burn a hole in hardened steel, that lady.

    Luckily, Kwon is able to smooth things over. Don't worry, ma'am, he's a moron, he's not with us, he lives in our car, it's fine, don't worry about the talking car. And ignore the man claiming to be a commie, we're not commies, promise, would I please not antagonize the death robot.

    Everywhere I look, I find more things to despise about the Gippers. Should I talk about the cult of Nancies that surround him, treat him like god, act like they're all his wives of the God-President? Heck, should I talk about how they call him the god-president? Maybe I should be offended by the sermons from the Book of Bonzo?



    Or maybe the cherry on top of this crazy cake is that Reagan is broken? Yeah, apparently that statue outside is an extension of the supercomputer in the basement that is Reagan's brain. Don't ask me who programmed an AI to think it's Reagan, even if I think the much more pertinent question is why the hell they thought it was a good idea. When Nancy Reliance brings us downstairs, it's clear that the Reagan AI has seen better days--the display of Reagan's face swirls with psychedelic colors, his voice keeps stuttering like a record skipping over the same bit, and he acts like he doesn't know what's going on around him.

    Reagan, in short, has gone senile.

    It doesn't seem like Mother Nancy Reliance minds all that much, truth be told. Whenever Reagan stammers, or loses track of the conversation, the practiced way she slides in to continue his thought and explain what Reagan really means makes it clear who's actually running the Gippers.

    Oh, and Valor is there too, I guess. He's everything I expected from the description the patriarch gave--short, bespectacled, wearing a lab coat. What I didn't expect was the worshipful way he treats Mother Nancy Reliance. The Gippers believe in him! They trust him! They value his input, unlike his stupid Dad! They did what he said when he came up with the idea of cutting off the oil to Colorado Springs! And we can't force him to go back when he has friends here!

    Lovebombing. Classic cult tactic.

    He doesn't even seem to doubt Nancy Reliance when she explains that yes, they could be convinced to release Valor back into our custody, and even turn the oil back on for Colorado Springs. But there's something they want from us, because of course there is.

    See, they know that Reagan is… well, not dying, but losing his grip a bit. This AI wasn't designed to last this long. But they've designed a way to transfer Reagan to a new body. All they need is something being selfishly hoarded by those commie robots, right? Go there, get the intelligence transer tool, and not only do we get Valor and the oil, but they'll throw in a custom rocket launcher.

    Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, sure. Definitely gonna do that when we get to the commies. That's definitely our plan, and not to smash your little enclave to bits.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2020-11-19 at 04:36 PM.
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  21. - Top - End - #21
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Yes, that is the in-game name of this quest. Have I mentioned how much I love this game's sense of humor?

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #19: Let's Go Fry a Kite
    Show
    We're on the way back to the Kodiak when we're stopped by another woman in a red robe. Sister Nancy Glory says yes, of course, dear Ronnie's right that the dirty commie robots are the greatest threat to their American way of life. But if you recall, there was another person on trial when we arrived, and well, Mist-That-Burns wasn't the only Godfisher in the area. In fact, there's three other camps around, and Ronnie would take it as a personal favor if we did our duty to this country and wiped those heathens off the map.

    Not exactly thrilled to be helping them, but it can't really hurt our reputation with them either. Besides, we're not exactly friendly with the Godfishers either, and I can see a few fleshy kites dangling to the east. It seems like a reasonable enough request.

    What I don't expect, though, is for the Godfishers to counter with an offer of their own. If we sabotage the three control terminals linking ReaganAI to the mecha in the front courtyard, then they'll be able to walk into the compound virtually unopposed. They'll even kill Valor for us, and no, I don't know how they knew we wanted that.

    Naturally, we respond with various forms of fire. I may despise the Gippers, but at least they're not out here strapping ribcages to fleshkites. That is to say, they're an insane that can be bargained with.

    And while we're at it, we might as well go and see those terminals they're talking about, right? One's outside, frozen under a layer of ice. Luckily, we have a heavy weapons specialist, and Arrow manages to flamethrower the crap out of the ice without damaging the computer inside. Another's right under the watchful eye of a Gibber guard, but you wouldn't want Reagan to fail, right? That's right. We're supposed to be here. But then tragedy! Kris has the computer skills needed to overclock the third computer, but not enough to make sure the statue has enough power for the new clock speed! We're going to have to fight the statue when the day's done, but it still hurts to see my husband so despondent.

    Luckily, we get to see the fruits of our labors fairly soon--virtually as soon as we finish clearing out a third camp of godfishers, we get a call on the radio from Nancy Glory. The Godfishers are attacking!

    Needless to say, we wipe the floor with them. Between Morningstar running rampant over them and the newly upgraded statue, it's barely a contest. But it's a good chance to evaluate how the Gippers fight, and it makes Kris smile, so I'll count that as a win.

    Also, the game's cover of the Battle Hymn of the Republic that plays during the fight is incredible, so I'll just leave that here for y'all to enjoy.



    Now, if we could just find that airport…
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  22. - Top - End - #22
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Balmas Plays: Wasteland 3

    Sorry for the long delay. Christmas and the holidays, right?

    Spoiler: Chris and Kris #20
    Show
    Now, I'm gonna be honest with all y'all. The game said, "go to the Denver Airport and get the machine intelligence transfer whatsit from the Machine Commune." Plus, one of the Nancies--rather, one of Reagan's ex-wives, apparently, now known as The Wyman and shunned--asked us to figure out the secrets of the commune's doctor. So, that's two quests pointing us towards the Denver Airport. And I said to myself, "Hey, I remember driving past that on the way here!"

    Spoiler: Airport!
    Show


    Yeah, see? We have fighter jets, a terminal, and just offscreen we have a commercial airliner that got knocked out of the air by the electronic burst when the nukes hit! This is obviously the airport, well done me for remembering that! And well done game devs for having that little bit of foreshadowing on the way into Denver!

    So we all pile into the Kodiak and make tracks towards that area.

    Except… there's no point of interest there. No glowy star entrance. We drive up and down half a dozen times, confusion mounting with each pass. Maybe… it's not here? There's gotta be another point of interest somewhere further down, then, maybe up around the back of Denver?

    Nope, no airports here.

    But this makes no sense! We need to find that airport if we want to advance this quest, but it's nowhere to be found! The only thing for it is to canvas the area. Grid-search, fill the map, and we'll find it eventually.

    Unfortunately, between Union Station and Denver, there are only two more points of interest on the map in the local area.
    Spoiler: Map
    Show


    When we approach one, we get an SOS from somebody under attack from bandits. They're probably not a robot commune, but we're still rangers and they're still someone in need of help.

    I'll admit to feeling both understanding and annoyed after we blast away the bandits holding Kym Hie and her sister hostage. See, they're not bandits--they're mercenaries hired by one of the members of the Hundred Families, which puts us in a difficult spot. As plains refugees, the Hies were hoping to establish themselves with the ten grand they borrowed from Moss Cogan. Trouble is, reading between the lines, Yoon Hie has a bit of a gambling and drugs problem, and dropped the lot at the Little Vegas. Now Cogan intends to take them both as indentured slaves until they pay off their debt.

    And when Cogan radios us, I'm tempted to let him have them. Or at least, to hand over Yoon--it's her fault Kym's in this mess, it'd be fair to have her pay off the debt. But that'd take years, and I doubt that Kym would be too happy with us for "resolving" the situation in that fashion.

    Luckily, as we walk towards the meeting, Kwon talks me into something else. We have ten thousand dollars, barely. Yes, it's all the money we have in the world, but it's not the first time we've given that away to save someone's life. What's better, he's pretty sure that his silver tongue can save us some money.

    Cogan can see Kwon's logic--even if he were to take them as slaves, he'd still never get his money back. Yoon's hopeless, she's not gonna be an asset, now she's in your employ she's gonna be your problem, you'd be better off just taking half your money back and walking away now. Which is still five thousand dollars, holy crap! But the Hies promise to spread the word around about what we did, and more than that, they're gonna work at Ranger HQ for us.

    Which, having listened to Kwon go on about how they're not gonna be an asset, has me kind of worried, but that's neither here nor there.

    The other waypoint is further to the north, and as we approach, we get another radio message. The miner who lives in the north is having issues with… Martians? Really?

    Well, we've already fought and killed Santa Clause, so I guess I can't judge.
    Last edited by Balmas; 2021-01-13 at 11:49 PM.
    I run a Let's Play channel! Check it out!
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