Reverse Wish Corruption

[The Outsider]

I wish I had a kitten.

Granted, but the smell that comes with it is vomit-inducing.

[Magic_Hat]

Granted, but the smell that comes with it is vomit-inducing.

I wish I had a one of a kind cologne.

Granted, but it's impossible to properly aim.

[Korith]

I wish I could shoot the Death Star Superlaser from my fingertips.

Granted, but every time you use it a swarm of fire ants crawls out of your faceholes.

[Armonia13]

I wish I had a hat that gave me super intelligence!

Granted! But it only works in front of your crush.

[The Outsider]

I wish I knew how to make the creepiest evil laugh possible.

Granted, but it instantly leaves.

[Velaryon]

I wish I met a friendly extraterrestrial.

Granted, but you're unable to use it yourself.

[Magic_Hat]

Granted, but you're unable to use it yourself.

I wish for the greatest game console of all time and enough amazing video games to last me a lifetime!

Granted, but it'll go bad after a day.

[+5 Vorpal Bunny]

I wish for delicious chocolate cake that actually causes me to lose weight.

Granted, but you are stalked by clowns.

[Korith]

I wish my car was bigger on the inside.

Granted, but every hundred years a family curse will manifest and one of your line will have to face an ever worsening series of foes that threaten your bloodline and the entire world.

[Magic_Hat]

Granted, but every hundred years a family curse will manifest and one of your line will have to face an ever worsening series of foes that threaten your bloodline and the entire world.

I wish for the ability to manifest Simpsons memes in real life, and I don't care about any negative consequence that might arise far into the future.

Okay but they're just gonna end up hitting you with a chair while you're in the bathtub.

[Velaryon]

I wish to be roomies with The Rock and Mick Foley.

Granted, but everything tastes like Necco Wafers to you.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for a lifelong supply of Nabisco Nilla Wafers.

Granted, but now you can sense taste through your fingertips.

[+5 Vorpal Bunny]

I wish I could swim through sewage safely and without smelling it!

Granted, but talk like Yoda now, you must!

[Armonia13]

I wish I was an expert on everything Star Wars.

Granted, but every time you use it, someone important to you or your future mysteriously dies under strange circumstances.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for the power to resurrect those I love.

Granted, but now suddenly your eyes can see in the ultraviolet section of the light spectrum.

[paddyfool]

Let's do away with skin cancer and sunburn: I wish UV rays didn't exist.

Granted, but you fall in.

[+5 Vorpal Bunny]

I wish to see what's past the event horizon of a black hole.

Granted, but now you can only speak in interpretative dance.

[The Outsider]

I wish I could understand any language I hear.

Granted, but now you're wanted for several war crimes.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for perpetual world peace.

Granted, but now you constantly have a clowder of cats following you.

[Korith]

I wish for the tuna sandwich of immortality!

Granted, but you grow a 6 meter long beard that is impervious to any shaving tool ever made.

[+5 Vorpal Bunny]

I wish to be a Viking Barbarian-Wizard.

Granted, but your beard has a mind of its own.

[Cicciograna]

I wish I was the ghost pirate LeChuck.

Granted, but now you have a vulnerability to squid.

[Velaryon]

I wish I was immune to shark attacks.

Granted, but you will never get the stain out.

[paddyfool]

Blood for the blood god!

Granted, but a knornate demon eats your soul.

[Korith]

I wish my soul reeked of garlic to keep the vampires away.

Granted, but at midnight they all turn into bunnies.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I wish my friends could all go to a dance party and not spread disease.

Granted, but your nemesis also gets one.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for a sincere opportunity to make peace with my nemesis.

Granted, but now you have a secret nemesis.

[+5 Vorpal Bunny]

I wish I could make copies of myself.

Granted, but you are compelled to talk like a pirate whenever anyone says "R".

[georger0171]

I wish for the ability to shoot bullets from my fingertips!

Granted but the bullets are made of dandelion fluff.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for numbers in numbered lists to be made of avocado.

Granted, but from now on Europe will use the Imperial System, and the US will use the Metric System.