Reverse Wish Corruption

[Korith]

I wish Europeans and Americans would stop complaining about each others' units of measurement.

Granted, but it has a weakness. If a Rhesus Monkey with a Kazoo ever plays God Save The Queen within earshot, it will disintegrate into a vaporizing puddle of acid.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for Queen Elizabeth II to be immortal.

Granted, but now the United Kingdom is invaded by a horde of monkeys able to reproduce the song "God Save the Queen" on kazoos. The monkeys are observed to be Pan troglodytes.

[georger0171]

I wish for a bong.

Granted, but every time you use it, a cute animal dies somewhere in the world.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for some device capable of spawning ugly animals.

Granted, but now you have lost the sense of taste.

[Velaryon]

I wish hospital food tasted better.

Granted, but it leads to Tom Green making a Hollywood comeback.

[Gravitron5000]

I wish for my own movie production studio.

Granted, but the stench ... Oh my god, the stench!

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I wish for a lifetime supply of fine cheese.

Granted! I built it out of toothpicks and marshmallows.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for a space elevator connecting Earth to Moon.

Granted, but now there are chickens EVERYWHERE.

[totadileplayz]

I wish I lived in The Zelda-verse.

Granted But now a God of monster-girls will be hunting you.

[Cicciograna]

I wish cat girls were a thing.

Granted, but now there is an invasion of musk rats.

[Korith]

I wish this cattail overgrowth would just go away.

Granted, but a small (sometimes poisonous) creature will bite your shins whenever you use it.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I wish for snakeskin boots.

Granted! It never stops ringing!

[Korith]

I wish this thread were inserted into the vending machine.

Granted, but it takes you with it.

[paddyfool]

I wish that COVID could spontaneously be eradicated from the planet.

Granted - you go to prison for the rest of your life.

[Cicciograna]

I want to have the best game of Monopoly EVAAAAH!

Granted, but you won't be able to pet kittens and pups anymore.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I wish I had guns for- oh. Oh! Noooooooo

Granted, but it ceases to exist after about 15 seconds and leaves a huge crater behind.

[bug_sniper]

I wish for an indestructible 30 foot tall mecha with laser guns in its arms, x-ray vision videocameras on its head, ion thrusters in its boots that allow it to accelerate to relativistic speeds in 2 seconds, and a battery with infinite energy to power all this.

Granted but raccoons with pickaxes break in and steal it.

[Gravitron5000]

I wish for a vault full of Cheez-its.

Granted, but it only works on eels.

[paddyfool]

I wish I had Aquaman's ability to telepathically communicate with marine life.

Granted, but then a volcano erupts and you die in the pyroclastic flow.

[Korith]

I wish I was fireproof

Granted, but whenever you try to share that information, all you can do is sing Baby Shark

[Gravitron5000]

I wish that I would always be aware of any shark attacks that will occur within 1 hour that are within 100 km of me.

Granted, but it's calibrated in fortnights per furlong.

[Cicciograna]

I wish for a "reverse tachymeter" that gives a reading of the reciprocal of speed, but not in hours per mile. Also, the International System can't be used.

I wish for the FFF system to be the only accepted measurement system worldwide.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I wish for you to wish for the FFF system to be the only accepted measurement system worldwide.

Granted! It's really sticky and the bright colors stain your clothes.

[Gravitron5000]

I wish for a friendly and affectionate pet slime.

Granted but the incessant whirling is making your head spin.