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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Aug 2020

    Default Let's improve a backstory!

    Hi guys! I'm back again with another backstory.
    Again for context, the point of this thread is to improve my DMing. I love unexpected twists, turns, and things coming back to haunt my players, and I'm here to pick the forum's collective brains as to the best way to do this for my players.
    This is for a Pirate themed campaign set in a region called the Shackles (it's a modified version of the one from Pathfinder that I've dropped into my homebrew setting).

    So here's the next backstory for a "human" barbarian named Brudas:

    "I [Brudas] was a balor, and a general of the Demon army. Once I was 50 years of age, I was wreaking havoc in the name of battle glory, and that went on for a few hundred years. Terighera was some of my finest work, I remember. Near the end, I remember facing a small battalion and being overtaken. I then woke up on some shore, nude, with a pair of snapped horns and my loincloth, as well as my old boots which no longer fit me. I wandered and beat some people senseless before raiding a shop and weaponsmith's place for the gear I have now."

    Other Info:
    Brudas' full title is "Brudas the Unrepentant, Warmonger of Terighera"

    "I had a rivalry with another balor by the name of Neriga the Savage, who was also at Terighera. He... or she? I never asked. They never liked being civil around me or my army and constantly challenged me to battle. Though powerful, and a worthy adversary, they were a pain in my ass."

    "Balors don't particularly have families, only people whom we tolerate. I didn't have many before, except Daliandris, a lesser demon than I who was a squire of sorts. She was a serviceable scout and rogue, and a diplomat when that was necessary."

    As you can understand, this is a very interesting backstory. Brudas isn't that bright, but he is very strong.
    One avenue I had considered is that recently many clerics of Mars (in this setting a neutral deity of strength and war, kind of like Kord) have been unable to contact him directly in the manner they are used to with spells such as commune. I hadn't pieced everything together yet, but I know that at one point he was a mortal who was able to ascend to godhood.

    Anyway, I'd love to hear your ideas on this!

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Composer99's Avatar

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    Sep 2013

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    All right, so up front I don't think there's much need to improve the backstory, in and of itself. It's an interesting and compelling backstory, and Brudas being a military leader and puissant fighter might give him all the motivation he needs to take an interest in affairs in the Shackles and not just ignore the plot in search of a way to return to his balor form.

    Instead, I think we're probably looking at the "backstory behind the backstory", fleshing out the motives of the actors involved in whatever has caused Brudas to become a mortal. Based on your past threads, we're also looking for a way to integrate the backstory into the primary campaign arc. This also helps with motivating Brudas to get involved, since it may be that the easiest path back to balor-hood runs through the primary campaign.


    It seems to me as if Neriga might have done a deal with some other entity to work together to dispose of Brudas the balor, though it seems Neriga didn't want Brudas to be dead as such. Maybe Neriga acted alone, but I don't think balors normally have the ability to transform other balors into lesser demon or even mortal forms.

    Perhaps Brudas the balor was favoured by some Demon Prince or another, and while Brudas-as-failure-transformed-into-a-puny-mortal can lose credit with that patron, Brudas dead might well be a martyr or provoke the patron's wrath.

    We can go so far as to imagine Neriga conspiring with Brudas' enemies at Terighera as well as whatever force has the means of transforming a balor into a human, but that's not strictly necessary unless the company that overtook Brudas could not have been under the command of any other entity. Whatever the case there, the question that must be answered is, "how does each party to the plot benefit"? It's easy to see how Neriga benefits - a rival swept aside and possibly discredited, with more power and influence accruing to Neriga. What does anyone else get out of it? If Neriga was collaborating with Brudas' opposition at Terighera, that opposition benefits if it ultimately wins the battle. Perhaps if Brudas was the primary commander, defeat reflects very poorly on Brudas, and Neriga can weasel out of being held responsible for defeat.

    Is there a way to tie this to the main campaign arc? Hard to say - most material plane worlds are sufficiently insulated from the other planes of existence that fiendish politics and warfare aren't spilling into the world often enough to be a routine concern for mortals.

    But it occurs to me that this might be a way of explaining the motives of whatever entity was capable of transforming Brudas into a human. There are a couple of possibilities:
    - First, that entity just wanted to shake things up in the Shackles, and a balor, transformed into a human but being aware of his past, fits the bill perfectly.
    - Or perhaps that entity is opposed in some way to the primary campaign antagonist but is unwilling or unable to act directly, and has calculated that a creature with Brudas' history and personality would likely end up also in opposition to that antagonist. Brudas is selected because he has the best fit and because of the opportunity to work with Neriga and maybe also Brudas' opponents at Terighera, if tracks need to be covered.
    - Perhaps the entity benefits from the demons being weakened by a major balor commander being out of the picture, either instead of having stakes in what goes on in the Shackles or in addition to them.

    Who might that entity be? A god, working carefully and indirectly to avoid being caught interfering too brazenly in the world? Another fiend, whether a Demon Prince who wishes to gain power at the expense of Brudas' patron, or a fiend of another type whose interests in the material plane benefit from a transformed balor on the loose in the Shackles? Some other type of being?
    ~ Composer99

    D&D 5e Campaign:
    Adventures in Eaphandra

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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Tawmis's Avatar

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    Mar 2004

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    Quote Originally Posted by MorningStar View Post
    So here's the next backstory for a "human" barbarian named Brudas:
    "I [Brudas] was a balor, and a general of the Demon army. Once I was 50 years of age, I was wreaking havoc in the name of battle glory, and that went on for a few hundred years. Terighera was some of my finest work, I remember. Near the end, I remember facing a small battalion and being overtaken. I then woke up on some shore, nude, with a pair of snapped horns and my loincloth, as well as my old boots which no longer fit me. I wandered and beat some people senseless before raiding a shop and weaponsmith's place for the gear I have now."
    Other Info:
    Brudas' full title is "Brudas the Unrepentant, Warmonger of Terighera"
    "I had a rivalry with another balor by the name of Neriga the Savage, who was also at Terighera. He... or she? I never asked. They never liked being civil around me or my army and constantly challenged me to battle. Though powerful, and a worthy adversary, they were a pain in my ass."
    "Balors don't particularly have families, only people whom we tolerate. I didn't have many before, except Daliandris, a lesser demon than I who was a squire of sorts. She was a serviceable scout and rogue, and a diplomat when that was necessary."

    As you can understand, this is a very interesting backstory. Brudas isn't that bright, but he is very strong.
    One avenue I had considered is that recently many clerics of Mars (in this setting a neutral deity of strength and war, kind of like Kord) have been unable to contact him directly in the manner they are used to with spells such as commune. I hadn't pieced everything together yet, but I know that at one point he was a mortal who was able to ascend to godhood.
    Anyway, I'd love to hear your ideas on this!
    Heh - we have differing opinions on "a very interesting backstory."
    Not only did they pick a Balor (one of the upper end, tough demons), but they also picked that they were a General of an army.
    But - let's work with what we're given.
    First, there's the mystery - why is a former Balor now in the guise of a human (barbarian)?

    I think I have your answer. Looking at the Balor, when they die - they explode - causing a 30' explosion. And they have the ability to teleport.

    So what I imagine could have happened - that the Balor ("Brudas") saw his imminent death coming (a magical spear, perhaps hurled at him from Neriga the Savage) - and in an attempt to teleport away, ("Brudas") teleported - but the front of Neriga's spear still struck true - killing ("Brudas") in the middle of his teleport. This unusually odd occurrence caused his "spirit" to be lost - caught between the realms and dimensions of death and the "teleportation" - and as he wandered - countless years - time never mattered - he suddenly saw a light - and lunged for it. That light was the spirit of the actual Brudas (the human) leaving his body, caught between life and death himself. So the Balor jumped into Brudas' body. As a result however, now the Balor keeps getting flashbacks of the mortal's life. It's that fiery demonic rage in ("Brudas") that allows him to Rage uncontrollably. And the longer the Balor remains in ("Brudas") - the stronger the anchor is - and the more difficult it will be for the Balor to find a way to return to the Plane of Hell and extract his revenge against Neriga. So now, with his intelligence diminished by the barbarian's lack of knowledge - the Balor now needs comrades to help him either find a way to restore his body or banish Neriga forever.
    Last edited by Tawmis; 2020-10-13 at 04:19 AM.
    Need a character origin written? Enjoyed what I wrote? How can you help me? Not required, but appreciated! <3

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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Goblin

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    Mar 2019

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    Backstories vary depending on the style of game you are playing. As a DM I work very hard to wrap the backstories of the players into the game. This is not a style that all DMs embrace and it's not appropriate in some circumstances. But, for my purposes, this backstory fails to address the central question of: What is your character trying to do? OR Why is your character adventuring?

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2020

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tawmis View Post
    Heh - we have differing opinions on "a very interesting backstory."
    Not only did they pick a Balor (one of the upper end, tough demons), but they also picked that they were a General of an army.
    But - let's work with what we're given.
    Quote Originally Posted by jjordan View Post
    But, for my purposes, this backstory fails to address the central question of: What is your character trying to do? OR Why is your character adventuring?
    I'll admit, I haven't actually thought about the goal of a backstory. It's something I definitely need to consider. However, at least for the way I'm running this particular campaign, this works perfectly. I think right now the main "point" of these backstories is to A. aid the players in providing their characters with a bit of personality, and B. to give me plot points to play with in the campaign.

    I'm really enjoying the idea of a plot by Neriga to take Brudas out of the picture, and the concept of outside forces that have to be at play to cause this result. I also find Tawmis' idea of the mid-death teleport exceptionally intriguing, especially the way that causes the soul to be cast adrift.

    I believe the way that I am currently leaning is that Neriga manipulated events in such a way that Brudas was brought to a weak place, and just when Neriga should have helped him, she instead finished him off. I'm actually planning a one-shot/small campaign that will take place in the hells, and I've been toying with the idea of this being a scene/combat that occurs in that campaign, but we'll see.

    I also have the plot thread of the god Mars to deal with, and I think I know how to weave the two together. I believe that, as punishment for one bit of insolence or another, Pelor has sent Mars' spirit back to Ord (aka the Prime Material Plane). Essentially, Mars ascended to godhood the last time in a Hercules-esque manner, performing various acts of goodness and bravery until the gods (unbeknownst to him) gave him godhood to defeat an evil deity.

    His plan is to attempt to either repeat that previous experience, or else find another way to win back Pelor's favor. In order to do this however, he needs a body, which Pelor was not kind enough to grant him with upon stripping him of his divinity. Thankfully, he now has a quite devoted church following, so getting some clerics together to attempt a ritual to put him in a body would be fairly easy. The clerics either create or obtain (still fuzzy on that) a body that is strong enough for Mars' purposes, and then begin the ritual. The ritual reaches out for the strongest nearby soul to place into the body, which would obviously be that of the former god of strength... right?

    I should here note that I have rewritten the cosmological structure of the planes for this universe, stating that each plane exists in the same location, but on different... "frequencies". I'm aware that doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but screw it, high fantasy. It's basically an excuse to have the planes be different flavors of the Upside Down from Stranger Things.

    So anyway, Brudas soul gets hurled screaming from his Balor form right about the time this ritual starts, and I bet you can tell where this is going. He gets shoved into this human body, which while still quite strong is not nearly as powerful as his older balor form.

    This now leaves a very miffed god of war, as well as his own cult following trying to avoid his divine wrath by making up for their mistake.

    Personally, I like this backstory and these events because... well honestly because now I have an angry church of war that wants to get their hands on Brudas, a demon lord (which in my setting is basically on the level of an evil deity) that wants to make use of him in the Blood War, and a Balor who would be quite unhappy to learn he's still alive.





    With all of that said, what are your thoughts on this? I'm aware there a couple shaky bits (Brudas' soul being stronger than the literal god of war is a little unbelievable), but I at least think it could make for some fun sessions.



    If we get this cleared up soon, I'll post the next one, which is a half-elf warlock of the deep sea, and probably the one I have the most ideas for already.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Titan in the Playground
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    Oct 2010
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    Dallas, TX
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    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    First of all, you put his backstory in quotes. This is what he claims his backstory is. So the obvious question is this:

    Was he really a Balor, or is he a deluded human, or is that not determined as yet?

    Secondly, you deliberately left the crucial parts of the backstory out. The worthwhile parts of a backstory are the parts that affect further NPC actions for or against him by others, or that affect what he will choose to do.
    1. How did he come to be a human on that shore?
    2. Who did this to him? Do they know he survived as a human? Are they monitoring him? Are they planning to do more to him?
      Does he know how it happened -- or even just who did it? How does he feel about it? What will he try to do about it?
    3. What exactly happened to him -- polymorph, reincarnation, something else? And is it possible for him to undo it? Will he try to?
    4. Is there somebody else searching for him, either for revenge, or because they need him to become a Balor again?

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    What if the truth is a little of both?
    A new recruit seeking the path of a warlock was stuck in a desperate situation and during a moment of shared peril the balor found itself bound to an ancient artefact an otherwise ordinary iron ring with crude carvings actually poorly written abyssal that was incomplete.
    Incomplete until the would be warlock found the ring and using it as part of their pact resulted in them suffering amnesia for the Balor seeking freedom from its prison granted the warlock his pact but warped as it was by the incomplete artefact, leaving the warlock with the memories of his master who still longs for freedom and his only ally an amnesiac whose memories have been overwritten by his master and equally as confused at the situation.

    Would that help?
    Last edited by Hopeless; 2020-10-16 at 02:36 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2020

    Default Re: Let's improve a backstory!

    OK everybody, so reading through your replies has helped me construct (what I think anyway) is a compelling set of events that will provide me with lots of fun parts to work with in this campaign.

    I have a whole conspiracy-board style setup with a story that manages to connect the stories of at least three of the party members. I can expound more if you're interested.



    Anyway, a lot of your replies have had me really thinking about what the goal is of these backstories and these posts in general, and so I want to try something a little different.



    One of my players is a Half-Elven Lurker in the Deep Warlock. Now he's given me several interesting things to work with, but I have a lot of what I want to do with most of what he gave me already worked out. Instead, I'd like to get your help with something specific.

    There are two specific things he gave me that I'm curious to hear your ideas for. First is his mother, who he never knew, although he assumes she was an elf or half-elf based off his ancestry. I currently have no idea who she would be or how she might figure into the campaign, or ever whether she should. Not everything should have to be a mystery just waiting to be solved, right? Although, that's a very easy way to make a compelling plot point, so I'm still curious as to what you have.

    On a more... shall we say fun note, he decided to give me info on 3 ex-girlfriends. There's Jay Colby a tomboyish pirate, Celeste Ray the daughter of a noble and Lizzie Cartman a coast side farm worker.

    While I doubt they would have any serious role to play in the campaign, I feel like having at least one of them pop up in the course of events would make the world feel more alive, as well as, you know, it could be really funny.

    Anyway, these are both less serious, but I'm curious to see what you can think of. Feel free to spitball at me!

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