Rater's Ridiculously Rambunctious Random Ranter #229

[Bartmanhomer]

And now I want a pineapple pizza.

Sweet. I don't understand why so many people hate pineapple pizza so much. I never tried it but it sounds very yummy.

[Rater202]

Sweet. I don't understand why so many people hate pineapple pizza so much. I never tried it but it sounds very yummy.

Becuase you do not put sweet and juicy fruit on a salty delicious pizza.

Hawaiian Pizza isn't even Hawaiian: A hack up in Canada just dumped a can of processed pineapple into a pizza he was cooking one day, tossed in some ham, and then decided "hey, ham and pineapple, I'll call it Hawaiian."

[Peelee]

Becuase you do not put sweet and juicy fruit on a salty delicious pizza.

Hawaiian Pizza isn't even Hawaiian: A hack up in Canada just dumped a can of processed pineapple into a pizza he was cooking one day, tossed in some ham, and then decided "hey, ham and pineapple, I'll call it Hawaiian."

You dare mock Canadian cuisine?!

[Fyraltari]

Becuase you do not put sweet and juicy fruit on a salty delicious pizza.

Oh no, it's the cuisine police, run for the hills everybody!

Hawaiian Pizza isn't even Hawaiian: A hack up in Canada just dumped a can of processed pineapple into a pizza he was cooking one day, tossed in some ham, and then decided "hey, ham and pineapple, I'll call it Hawaiian."

And this matters because?

[Peelee]

run for the hills everybody!

Up the irons!

[Bartmanhomer]

Becuase you do not put sweet and juicy fruit on a salty delicious pizza.

Hawaiian Pizza isn't even Hawaiian: A hack up in Canada just dumped a can of processed pineapple into a pizza he was cooking one day, tossed in some ham, and then decided "hey, ham and pineapple, I'll call it Hawaiian."

Why not? People put the different topping on pizza just about everything nowadays. I don't see the problem here.

[Rater202]

You dare mock Canadian cuisine?!

No, just this one guy who clearly had no idea what he was doing.

Good cooking is about mixing complementary flavors, textures, and aromas together and the sweet acidic, gritty chunkiness of pineapples doesn't mixe with the salty, savory, creaminess of melted mozzarella or the spiciness of a good pizza sauce. It clashes.

And this matters because?

False Advertising: Calling it Hawaiian Pizza makes people think of Lua's on White Sand Beaches and pretty exotic women in revealing outfits swaying their arms and hips... When they should be thinking of "like continental America, but colder and sometimes speaking french."

[DataNinja]

Good cooking is about mixing complementary flavors, textures, and aromas together and the sweet acidic, gritty chunkiness of pineapples doesn't mixe with the salty, savory, creaminess of melted mozzarella or the spiciness of a good pizza sauce. It clashes.

Well, clearly it's good enough that people enjoy it.

I know personally I like the sweet burst of the pineapple to counterbalance the rest of the pizza. Fresh pineapple is too strong for me, but on pizza? It's perfect. But, hey. More for me.

[Tvtyrant]

Well, clearly it's good enough that people enjoy it.

I know personally I like the sweet burst of the pineapple to counterbalance the rest of the pizza. Fresh pineapple is too strong for me, but on pizza? It's perfect. But, hey. More for me.

Oh man I absolutely will just eat a whole pineapple I love the bite as it tries to eat my mouth but I eat it first.

[Rater202]

Pineapple Pizza is like fruit cake.

Pineapple=good, Pizza=Great, Pineapple+Pizza nasty garbage.

Not everything is a peanut butter cup, people: Sometimes two great tastes taste terrible together.

[Bartmanhomer]

No, just this one guy who had no idea what he was doing.

Good cooking is about mixing complementary flavors, textures, and aromas and the sweet acidic, gritty chunkiness of pineapples doesn't mix with the salty, savory, creaminess of melted mozzarella or the spiciness of a good pizza sauce. It clashes.

False Advertising: Calling it Hawaiian Pizza makes people think of Lua's on White Sand Beaches and pretty exotic women in revealing outfits swaying their arms and hips... When they should be thinking of "like continental America, but colder and sometimes speaking french."

So what if the Hawaiian Pizza made in Canada. They making money off of it anyway. So I don't see your complaint about it.

[Peelee]

No, just this one guy who clearly had no idea what he was doing.

Good cooking is about mixing complementary flavors, textures, and aromas together and the sweet acidic, gritty chunkiness of pineapples doesn't mixe with the salty, savory, creaminess of melted mozzarella or the spiciness of a good pizza sauce. It clashes.

The sweetly acidic pineapple clashes with the sauce made from sweetly acidic tomatoes?

[Rater202]

The sweetly acidic pineapple clashes with the sauce made from sweetly acidic tomatoes?

If your pizza sauce is noticeably sweet, you've made a mistake long before you put the pineapple on top.

Pizza sauce is supposed to be spicy. (Not "Hot." Lots of people don't know the difference between Spicy and Hot)

[Tvtyrant]

Pineapple Pizza is like fruit cake.

Pineapple=good, Pizza=Great, Pineapple+Pizza nasty garbage.

Not everything is a peanut butter cup, people: Sometimes two great tastes taste terrible together.

I like fruit cake too! This entire conversation is a well established trope lol

[DataNinja]

Pineapple Pizza is like fruit cake.

Pineapple=good, Pizza=Great, Pineapple+Pizza nasty garbage.

Not everything is a peanut butter cup, people: Sometimes two great tastes taste terrible together.

If your pizza sauce is noticeably sweet, you've made a mistake long before you put the pineapple on top.

Pizza sauce is supposed to be spicy. (Not "Hot." Lots of people don't know the difference between Spicy and Hot)

Look, I have no problem with people having food opinions. I have a problem with people having those opinions and presenting them as objective fact. People can have different tastes, Rater. Just because you don't like it, that's fine. But your opinions are not the end-all of food critique.

It's entirely subjective, and, frankly... just let people eat what they enjoy. As long as they aren't making you eat it, it should all be good.

[Bartmanhomer]

Look, I have no problem with people having food opinions. I have a problem with people having those opinions and presenting them as objective fact. People can have different tastes, Rater. Just because you don't like it, that's fine. But your opinions are not the end-all of food critique.

It's entirely subjective, and, frankly... just let people eat what they enjoy. As long as they aren't making you eat it, it should all be good.

Very well said.

[Peelee]

If your pizza sauce is noticeably sweet, you've made a mistake long before you put the pineapple on top.

Pizza sauce is supposed to be spicy. (Not "Hot." Lots of people don't know the difference between Spicy and Hot)

I think you are not making a fundamental distinction between "what a pizza is supposed to be" and "the very specific and narrow set of pizza that Rater enjoys".

ETA: If lots of people don't understand the difference between two words and use one word to mean another word, then the first word probably does mean the other word. That's the natural evolution of language. Word use isn't as important as being clearly understood.

[Rater202]

Look, I have no problem with people having food opinions. I have a problem with people having those opinions and presenting them as objective fact. People can have different tastes, Rater. Just because you don't like it, that's fine. But your opinions are not the end-all of food critique.

It's entirely subjective, and, frankly... just let people eat what they enjoy. As long as they aren't making you eat it, it should all be good.

It's different when roughly half the population agrees with you and the thing you're saying is bad actually makes you nauseous to think about.

This is like the crab and lobster thing: Lots of people think it's good even though they're literally eating giant bugs.

[Bartmanhomer]

I think you are not making a fundamental distinction between "what a pizza is supposed to be" and "the very specific and narrow set of pizza that Rater enjoys".

That's exactly what he doing. I don't have any problems with the kinds of foods that I like and dislike because that's just me.

[Peelee]

It's different when roughly half the population agrees with you and the thing you're saying is bad actually makes you nauseous to think about.

This is like the crab and lobster thing: Lots of people think it's good even though they're literally eating giant bugs.

Crustaceans aren't bugs. Unless, of course, by "literally" you mean "figuratively", in which case do you want to revisit that "hot/spicy" thing?

ETA: Oh, also,

It's different when

No it's not.

[LaZodiac]

I'm probably going to regret asking this, but is a Hawaiian cheeseburger a cheeseburger with pineapple, à la Hawaiian pizza? Because that sounds ... I think "interesting" is the appropriate euphemism.

Hamburger (angus beef specifically) with swiss cheese, three pineapple rings, teriyaki sauce, and three strips of maple bacon. That is the Hawaiian Burger.

Becuase you do not put sweet and juicy fruit on a salty delicious pizza.

Hawaiian Pizza isn't even Hawaiian: A hack up in Canada just dumped a can of processed pineapple into a pizza he was cooking one day, tossed in some ham, and then decided "hey, ham and pineapple, I'll call it Hawaiian."

The acidic nature of the pineapple counteracts the base nature of the tomato sauce and meat on pizza, allowing for a better dining experience in my opinion.

You are correct on this point and it is actually very important to recognize that Hawaiian pizza has nothing to do with Hawaii (and pineapple has nothing to do with Hawaii either!)

Oh no, it's the cuisine police, run for the hills everybody!


And this matters because?

It matters because Hawaiian pizza and pineapple associations with Hawaii in general related to topics that are not board safe, but are vitally important in the real world. That's as far as I can say though.

I don't know what makes the person above think pizza's have to be spicy, and um... crustaceans are DEFINITELY insects. A lobster is just a very large bug.

[Peelee]

crustaceans are DEFINITELY insects. A lobster is just a very large bug.

Crustaceans are arthropods. Insects are arthropods. Crustaceans are not insects.

[enderlord99]

Crustaceans have ten legs, whereas insects only have six (and arachnids eight)

[LaZodiac]

Crustaceans are arthropods. Insects are arthropods. Crustaceans are not insects.

Would you say a woodlice is an insect?

[Bartmanhomer]

It's different when roughly half the population agrees with you and the thing you're saying is bad makes you nauseous to think about.

This is like the crab and lobster thing: Lots of people think it's good even though they're eating giant bugs.

What's wrong with eating bugs and insects?

[Peelee]

Would you say a woodlice is an insect?

Academically or colloquially?

Academically, I would google "Woodlice", look at the description which classifies them as a crustacean, which I know to be a different classification than an insect, and say no.

Colloquially, I would look at a picture of one, say "probably," then look at a picture of a lobster or crab and say "but those ain't."

Take whichever answer you prefer, really.

What's wrong with eating bugs and insects?

Great question! Absolutely nothing. And if they had more meat on them, it would probably be more common.

[LaZodiac]

Academically or colloquially?

Academically, I would google "Woodlice", look at the description which classifies them as a crustacean, which I know to be a different classification than an insect, and say no.

Colloquially, I would look at a picture of one, say "probably," then look at a picture of a lobster or crab and say "but those ain't."

Take whichever answer you prefer, really.

Great question! Absolutely nothing. And if they had more meat on them, it would probably be more common.

Right sometimes I forget that when I'm talking to you I'm talking with someone actually intelligent.

Taxonomy is a huge crapshoot a lot of the time, and from talking with people who do this sort of stuff, there really is no significant difference between insects and crustaceans. A lobster and a shrimp are just as buggy and weird as a mosquito or a cockroach, but since the big wet bugs have lots of meat on them they are considered okay to eat and the small dry bugs are gross.

I actually have to drop this conversation now because writing out that sentence almost made me throw up.

[Peelee]

Right sometimes I forget that when I'm talking to you I'm talking with someone actually intelligent.

Then the illusion is complete!

[enderlord99]

Would you say a woodlice is an insect?

No. No I would not.

[Rater202]

I think you are not making a fundamental distinction between "what a pizza is supposed to be" and "the very specific and narrow set of pizza that Rater enjoys".

Would you eat peanut butter and clam pizza? No tomato sauce, no cheese. Just peanut butter and clams. Becuase that exists, but I don't think most people would eat it or even consider it pizza in the first place.

What most people think of as pizza is, essentially, a variation of pizza marrianara which started life as a savory sauced made from crushed tomatoes covered with mozzarella cheese and parsley. This is also from where "marinara sauce" comes from, as it's a refinement of the original pizza sauce. Tomatoes parsley, garlic, onion, sometimes peppers.

The product is, by default, savory and spicy. Not sweet, the way a raw tomato would be. This isn't my opinion, if your marinara sauce is sweet, you have made a mistake in making it. If you are using something other than marinara sauce or similar, you are not making what most people think of when they think of pizza.

Marinara, and thus, pizza, is not something like say, Barbecue sauce which comes in a dozen different varieties and can taste like anything. There's a general consensus on what a red sauce, and thus marinara, and thus what pizza, is supposed to be like.

Pineapple runs counter to that... If you like it, fine... But I can't understand why, becuase in terms of culinary science the pineapple clashes with both the sauce and the cheese. You expect certain things when you eat a Pizza and Pineapple runs counter to those things.

And, again, the thought of mixing those flavors makes me nauseous. I am not allergic to any of the ingredients, there is nothing about the individual ingredients tha makes me sick, but the mixing of those flavors causes a physical reaction if sickness. I can only conclude that there's something wrong about it that either the people who like it ignore or have trained themselves to like.

Re: Bugs.

"Bug" is a category that covers most arthropods as well as several other varieties of invertebrates: A lobster is, in terms of genetics, evolutionary history, and cladistics closer to a spider or roach than it is to anything that most human beings would willingly eat. It has a hard shell, it looks like an alien, and is has the wrong number of legs. Ergo, it's a bug.

The only reason Lobster has considered a delicacy is becuase once we had trains able to haul lobster to the midwest before they died, fishermen in the coast would sell it to rubes in the mid west by saying it was a delicacy. People only like it becuase it's expensive. Before that, a net full of lobster was considered a day of fishing wasted and it was legally considered cruel and unusual punishment to make prisoners eat lobster more than three times a week.