MERC XIX: Toss a Coin to your Goblin

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Just Outside)]

There's a muffled exchange behind the door, before it slides open.

"Come on in!" someone calls out from the inside.

Behind the door he'll find what looks like a lobby. It's filled with what looks like mercenaries and adventurers of various stripes. The person who greeted him appears to be a large goblin woman (...relatively speaking) with dark grey skin, yellow cat-like eyes and, it seems, cybernetic metal arms.

"Welcome to MERC, how may we help you?" she asks, in an automatic tone of someone who was told to greet people with this line.

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Solenoid enters through the open doors into the lobby, looking around and taking notice of the diversity of mercenaries inhabiting this room, as well as the goblin lady greeting her.
"Hi there! Name's Solenoid. I'm a contractor, But of course, you could tell that from my rifles, my charm, and the fact that I'm in a place named MERC."

Solenoid, smiling a charismatic smile, extends her arm for a firm handshake. If this is reciprocated (or even if she is left hanging), she will continue:
"I've been told you have job opportunities here? Sounds right up my alley."

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

The goblin shakes Solenoid's hand, more firmly than one would expect from her small size. Must be the cybernetics.

"Name's Olvisin. On greeter duty today, for my sins." It's hard tell how serious she's being. "If you're after jobs, you're at the right place. We offer licenses or a full membership. Depending on how closely you want to be involved with us."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Sins? What, you got caught buying games on a company card or something? Happens to the best of us."

Solenoid chuckles a little.

"A full membership? That's essentially just like the long-term contracts I had before, right? In which case, sounds perfect. Where do I sign up?"

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Long story. There was no permanent damage to the lab space, but... yeah." Olvisin shrugs. "Anyway, if you come with me to the desk I can explain how licenses and membership differ and how you can get them."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Oh, a lab? So, you're some kind of scientist or doctor, then? Good for you! The more medics there are in the world, the better."

When Solenoid says 'doctor', what she really means is 'mechanic'. Because, of course, what a mechanic does for a robot is very similar to what a medic does for an organic.

"Well then, let's go!"

Solenoid follows Olvisin.

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"I'm a medic and a mechanic. I was taking apart an inert vehicle for spare parts and... well, some parts of it weren't as inactive as I thought." Olvisin sits down at what looks like a reception desk. "Right, so here's how this works. We can issue you a MERC license, which will give you access to our contracts and a variety of benefits, but you'll pay us a percentage of your earnings. If you become a member, you get the same benefits, plus some exclusive jobs and access to our resources. But you'll answer to our leaders. And one of them would need to admit you in first. This usually requires proof of your credentials."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Exclusive jobs? Also known as, the best jobs. Yeah, that membership sounds just right for me. As for credentials..."

Solenoid reaches into the front of her sweater and pulls out a business card. The front of the business card has an image of Solenoid holding up a V for victory, and text that reads:

SOLENOID
Professional? Certainly.
Charismatic? You bet!
Killing machine? Affirmative.

The back appears to be a statistics screen, but some contact details are also displayed too. Information displayed includes:

Lifetime Kills: 2954
K/DR: 1477
Headshot Kills: 2579
Missions Failed: 0

Phone: 555-SLND
Email: [email protected]
Radio frequency: 88.4
PictoChat channel: A

"...this look like it'd work?"

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Olvisin examines the business card closely. Her ears twitch up and down as she does so. It seems goblins like her have expressive ears. Solenoid will notice quite a few other goblins staying or passing through the lobby.

"We'd need some way to verify this information, I think. Do you have some references or proof of some of these jobs? Also, what does K/DR mean?"

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Proof? Yeah, sure! Let me show you."

Solenoid takes out her Nintendo DSi XL from her bag.

"Ever seen one of these before?"

She turns it on and opens the photo album, showing various contracts she's taken over the years. They all have [COMPLETED] stamped across them.

"I take photos of most of my big contracts. For bragging rights."
Olvisin might notice that a good chunk of the pictured contracts list a demon as the target.

"K/DR stands for kill/death ratio. It's the number of kills you've gotten divided by the number of times you've died. They add one to the death count in the calculation, though, so that you won't be dividing by zero if you've never died.

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Olvisin blinks. It's an oddly cat-like, long blink. Then she grins, clearly excited.

"Oh. So you've died before. But you were rebuilt, weren't you?" And came back. She pauses. "Sorry, got side-tracked. I'll have to ask one of the bosses if those are enough."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"It's... a long story. And it's complicated. And-"

The previously-silent speck of light in Solenoid's back begins to speak, cutting her off.

"But Soley, if you don't tell her, how am I going to get my introduction?"

"Introduce yourself!"

"If you say so. I'm Cookiebite. Solenoid's guardian angel, her employer, and ever since her old energy core was torn out and she was murdered by an angry omnipresent demon and I revived her, the source of all her power."

"In my defense, we did come back and totally bust his head after that. Anyways, we can discuss the lowest point of my career in more detail later."

"Back to business, then. So, who are these bosses you mention?"

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Olvisin blinks again, her ears dipping. Okayyy... she clearly has many questions about this but she respects Solenoid's wish to put it off until later.

"That's Dipsnig Razortooth, the CEO. And his two senior officers, Dena Xifhara and Kirk Locke. The big boss is a goblin like me and the others are... I think they're called drow? But Dena Xifhara has snakes for hair too. I'll see which one is available."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Goblin and some drow, hm? That's reassuring. I had a few good connections back on my world who were those types. They shared my views on just how far being polite and efficient can get you on a planet like ours."

"Did she say, snakes for hair? What next, gonna tell me she's Greek?"

At this, Solenoid turns her head as if to look over her shoulder.

"Don't be rude! Didn't I tell you the first law of robotics?"

"Yeah, yeah, always make a good first impression..."

"Right. So keep quiet, because I don't think you're making any good impressions today."

Solenoid then turns back to Olvisin.

Sorry about that. They're not always this way. Just... most of the time. Having a guardian angel is actually very helpful in a pinch, though.

[Gullara]

[Dena's Office]

"I can handle it. I think. Though, uh, to be honest, I could really use some danger tips," Fettina says. She considers things seriously for once, leaning on Kirk with her hand on his shoulder. She looks between the two of them. "I'm tough now, and strong, and I can do some neat tricks. But I don't actually know anything about fighting. I'm sort of worried that I won't be able to rely on being really hard to hurt forever. Like I could use some actual training, you know?" She wags her eyebrows at them. "Hint, hint?" I don't think that's how hinting is supposed to work, Tina...

[Dena's Office]

"To be honest, I know more about avoiding fights than being in them as they're usually not healthy for anyone involved. But since you're a member now you could theoretically ask anyone around here if they could help training you. Someone less preoccupied with, y'know-" Dena gestures at her paperwork. "-all this." Not to mention the pregnancy, the occasional dungeon crawling and her weekly dancing lessons with Laela.

"But if you really want to... I could try to schedule something in. Though I honestly recommend taking lessons at VIGIL instead as they got more of those martial types. It really depends on what training you're looking for though, Tina."

[Dena's Office]

"That raises questions." Kirk replies, still quite seriously. "First and foremost is the tools you'd use. There's general purpose exercise and fitness to keep in mind, but specific skills with a weapon are necessary."

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"I don't know what 'Greek' means, but probably not." Despite Solenoid hushing Cookiebite up, she does answer the question. She taps something on a nearby computer. "At any rate, looks like Mr. Razortooth is available and will be here shortly."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Mr. Razortooth. I'd ask you to describe him to me, but at this point it'd probably be more efficient to wait until I see him."

Solenoid seems quite excited at the prospect of meeting her new employer. There's just one thing, though...

"Just checking... He's not one of those humourless bosses, right?"

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Oh, I'm afraid he is. His expression could marinate mushrooms sometimes," Olvisin says with brutal honesty.

Speak of the devil, the boss comes into the lobby before long. He's a goblin as well, but with brown skin and red eyes. He's shorter than Olvisin and being followed by a very large wolf, whose fur has a silvery grey color.

"You would be the new prospective member, I presume," he says.

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Yeah, it's impression-making time.

"That would be me! Solenoid, skilled, dependable, and ready to carry out whatever task needs doing." Solenoid says, smiling brightly.

"An- ahem- and I'm Cookiebite, guardian angel of Solenoid and all-around great guy."

Solenoid extends her arm for another good handshake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Razortooth."

"And may I just say, your friend there looks stunning. The fur? Beautiful. You should be proud, sir."

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Dipsnig smiles pleasantly. He can tell when someone is buttering him up.

"Hear that, Teerka? He just said you're beautiful," he says, shaking Solenoid's hand. If the wolf has any understanding of the compliment, she doesn't show it, instead sitting down on the ground. Upon closer inspection, Dipsnig is in fact shorter than Olvisin.

"Olvisin tells me you've got photographic proof of your past contracts. That's good, but I'll need to ask you some more questions about them. We need to be sure we let in only the best people into full MERC membership."

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Solenoid nods and turns the DSi so that Dipsnig can see the photos of the contracts.

"Of course, sir. I understand completely. What would you like to know?"

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Dipsnig takes a seat at a spare chair and his wolf lies down nearby.

"Let's get to it, then. Do you have any documentation of these contracts? Paperwork of equivalent thereof? Who did you perform them for?"

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Hmm, paperwork..."

Solenoid is checking in the front of her sweater.

"Oh, here we go!"

She pulls out a few very small documents and presents them for the goblins to see.

"Some pixies needed a 'giant' to take down a large bird that somehow had full magic resistance. They thought of me. Not the most impressive job, but the only one I can carry physical proof of on my person."

"If you want to see something really awesome, check the contracts with a demon listed as the target. I gave her those ones, so I can vouch that they were done quickly and efficiently."

"Other than that, I did hits for a lot of people back on Venusia. Gang leaders, retired adventurers with untiring enemies, an orcish Godfather expy, even a woman known only as The Administrator... …yeah, I had fun. "

[Murkus]

[Dena's Office]

"Oh! Oh, I've got that covered! You guys gotta watch this," Fettina exclaims. She steps back from Kirk, getting as much open space as possible. She spreads her wings and thrusts out her hands in front of herself, grasping something that isn't there. As if holding a staff or a barbell.

It's a little stuttery at first. Threads of light seem to sparkle like golden spiderwebs between Tina's hands. Then there is a burst of eldritch fire that erupts in a rolling wave, traveling along the invisible pole held before the angel. The flame takes on a solid shape, resolving itself into the haft of a weapon before finally blooming as the tip of a broad winged spear. Cold, shaped flame ripples along the blade in a steady undulating current.

Fettina sets this weapon down with an oddly solid clunk. "Look what I can do now!"

[Shadowcaller]

[Dena's Office]

Behind her sunglasses Dena blinks as Tina conjures a spear of light. How and when had she figured out to do that?
"...well, that's impressive. But how does it work exactly? Can you just conjure any weapon out of thin air or is it that specific spear?" She was pretty sure Tina couldn't just conjure anything out of thing air as in that case she would have done so plenty already.

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Hmm, paperwork..."

Solenoid is checking in the front of her sweater.

"Oh, here we go!"

She pulls out a few very small documents and presents them for the goblins to see.

"Some pixies needed a 'giant' to take down a large bird that somehow had full magic resistance. They thought of me. Not the most impressive job, but the only one I can carry physical proof of on my person."

"If you want to see something really awesome, check the contracts with a demon listed as the target. I gave her those ones, so I can vouch that they were done quickly and efficiently."

"Other than that, I did hits for a lot of people back on Venusia. Gang leaders, retired adventurers with untiring enemies, an orcish Godfather expy, even a woman known only as The Administrator... …yeah, I had fun. "

Dipsnig does examine the contracts with demons listed as targets.

"Did you work with any kind of organization back then? Or a team?"

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

Solenoid adjusts her hat slightly.

"No, back then it was usually just me, my guns, my connections, and my sunny disposition. After Venusia, though, I did form a team with three other guys... we called ourselves the Challenge Runners. We were fantastic together. Didn't get up to much, being stuck on N-9, but we did beat this angry red dude who wanted one of my friends dead, so there's something."

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Hmm." Dipsnig regards Solenoid above his steepled fingers. "Seems like your activities back then were busy and lucrative. How did you wind up here in the Nexus?"

[Gold Leaf]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Well... let's say I wished to find a close personal friend, and was sent here as a result."

"We were granted one miracle as a parting gift when her business in the Astral Plane - which happened after everything else - was finished. She asked to go to the world TASBot is on, which is here, and I suggested we be transported to this building so you could find new work and since he'll probably show up here sooner than later. Gosh, Soley, you don't have to be so vague all the time!"

Solenoid's smile briefly falters, but then it is back. Sometimes, you gotta roll with the punches.

"Well, that's how it happened. Not like robots need to take breaks anyways."

[Morty]

[MERC Base (Lobby)]

"Hmm." Dipsnig is pretty good at not showing an outward opinion about this. "Tell me more about your capabilities and preferred types of missions. You're obviously a combat specialist."