D&D Subclass Contest Chat Thread 2: Joke Entries Win with Alarming Frequency

[Ilerien]

This is kind of my point. It's pretty similar to Spirit Guardians, a level 3 spell. So, a level 5 Bard gets to do Spirit Guardian damage, at a larger AoE and can do it 4 times per short rest. That's pretty scary in my mind.

True. Spirit guardians give the additional speed debuff, though, and wisdom saves aren't generally a forte of those who are likely to get into melee range, in contrast to constitution, but still. Hmm, probably getting rid of Charisma modifier to damage will help: it would lag behind 3rd-level spirit guardians in terms of damage for most of this bard's career, and by the time it becomes d12+7 to match the mean value of 3d8, spirit guardians should be cast from a higher level slot to stay relevant, I'd say.

I will agree with you, I would want to see it in practice at different levels to see how it actually will play and concentration does limit it significantly. However, a bard still gets shatter, Earth Tremor, Healing Word, Blindness/Deafness, Charms, Synaptic (and others) to choose from when they are playing a dirge. It could be player pretty darn well given the right player.

This I certainly can't argue with! :)

[Twelvetrees]

Fire Lash - Can you grapple from 15 feet away? Also, if you are grappling someone with the whip can you also attack with it? Or can you only attack the grappled person?

All good questions. Yes, grappling from 15 feet away was intended. The Fire Lash isn't that great of a weapon, and I wanted to give some sort of beneficial feature with it. Grappling seemed appropriate.

The intent was that you wouldn't be able to attack with the whip if you were grappling with it, but I realize now that a flaming whip doing nothing to the creature it is wrapped around doesn't make a lot of sense. Added a line to clarify how targeting works when a creature is grappled by the whip.

Fear No Fire - Dex being your caster modifier is a little bit odd here. Any particular reason why you didn't use Wisdom as per the standard 5e monk ability?

I was comparing it to the Radiant Sun Bolt of the Way of the Sun Soul, which uses Dexterity. Changed to Wisdom for the sake of simplicity.

Firewalks - You are flying, but you leave footprints? This seems a little bit odd to me. I understand the intent here, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in my mind.

Would it work better if I reworded it to be something like "When you move on your turn, you can spend 2 ki points. If you do so, you can move vertically as well as horizontally. If you end your movement in midair, you fall as normal. During this movement, you leave footprints of flame..."

Spontaneous Combustion - Is the save vs Wisdom per standard Monks or Dex per everything else in this subclass? Also, I would make it so that you have to see the creature as well as being within 30 feet.

Added a save calculation. Added a sight clause as well.

I wouldn't mind seeing the Fire Lash Whip ignore fire resistance somewhere around level 6. It's a class defining feature and I would hate to not be able to use it if someone resists fire damage.

That's a good call. Added.



More reviews.

Spoiler: Totemic Demonslayer

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Could you paste the subclass into your post? Chunks of it were cut off when I tried viewing it in homebrewery.


Fiend Hunter
I would have expected Intelligence (Investigation) in there somewhere.

Lesser Totem Tattoo
Gaining a further tattoo at 5th doesn't sit well with me. It's off schedule for when rangers get subclass features, which makes this harder to keep track of and remember. It feels inelegant.

Summon Spell Dampening
While I recognize that this is a good homage to the prestige class ability, I can't imagine ever using it if I were to play a Totemic Demonslayer. The activation taking an action is a steep cost and the effects are extremely specific and unlikely to occur in the average adventure. There aren't a lot of conjuration spells that foes are likely to cast and fiends summoning other fiends will only happen if you're playing an extremely specific type of game.

I think this needs to be easier to use and to have broader effects when it is. Another option would be to move it up to be the 15th level feature and have it produce an antimagic field instead.

Greater Totem Tattoo
Like I mentioned with the lesser, gaining subclass features on non-subclass feature levels feels inelegant.

Tattoos
Not allowing these to ever be changed reads as combative. I'm aware that was the wording of the original prestige class, but it feels out of line with the current design philosophy for 5e.

Only being able to use each tattoo once per long rest is incredibly restrictive, too. For comparison, a Horizon Walker of 3rd level can do 1d8 extra force damage at the cost of their bonus action, each and every turn. A 3rd level Totemic Demonslayer with a snake tattoo can deal an extra 1d8 + double Strength modifier damage for three rounds per day. Unless there's only a handful of round of combat in a single adventuring day, the Horizon Walker comes out well ahead.

Lesser

Allosaurus
Taking a bonus action to activate a tattoo conflicts with this tattoo taking a bonus action to use its secondary attack.

Do you need both hands free to make use of the secondary attack? Or can you use the hand you're grappling with to make that attack?

Ape
Taking a bonus action to activate a tattoo conflicts with this tattoo taking a bonus action to rend.

Baboon
This is a utility feature. It's a really cool utility feature. I'd want to take it, too, but I don't think I would. Please don't make players choose between cool utility abilities or combat capabilities.

Badger
What.

It's been a while since I've seen a feature that is explicitly better than another one, but Badger is literally a better option than Sea Turtle, making Sea Turtle a trap option. Badger is also far and away the best option here, because it takes the primary schtick of the barbarian and adds it to the ranger. I suspect that Badger is the only option players would choose, were they to play a Totemic Demonslayer.

Either bring everything else up to this power level or get rid of this entirely. I'd suggest the latter.

Boar
This is awkward to activate. The player has to know they're likely going to drop to 0 hit points.

If they do, this makes them nearly unkillable. Like Badger, this is giving me a sour taste in my mouth of encroaching too much on the barbarian's territory.

Crocodile
This is cool as well! But it's also a feature that would be considered fluff in 5e, which ultimately means it's not worth taking when compared to any other option.

Deinonychus
Taking a bonus action to activate a tattoo conflicts with this tattoo taking a bonus action to use.

It also is the third tattoo I've read that seems to be a variation on the theme of "use a bonus action to make an unarmed strike that does more damage." Could those tattoos all be consolidated into one? They feel duplicative.

Dimetrodon
This is mostly utility as well. There's not much point in taking it when compared with the other options.

Sea Turtle
As explored above, a trap option when compared with Badger.

Snake
Here's the fourth "make an unarmed strike" tattoo. Oddly, this one doesn't mention a bonus action. Which means we finally see one of these that doesn't conflict with the activation cost for tattoos. And probably means this is the best option of the four.

Greater

Ankylosaurus
This is still worse than a Badger tattoo.

Giant Wasp
This requires you to be fighting fiends to ever be used. For that alone, it's unlikely to be picked. It's got one rare and slightly cheesy use case: A Totemic Demonslayer who uses a bow could use this to coat all of their arrows. If they were fighting fiends, this would suddenly become really useful.

Phanaton
Again, it feels bad as a player to have to choose between utility and combat features. This is a utility feature and has quite specific use cases for when it comes in handy, which make it unlikely to be picked.

Tabaxi
This is nigh useless. Any creature whose resistances can be beaten by silvered weapons can also be beaten by magic weapons. In addition, natural attacks aren't a thing in 5e. Assuming you mean unarmed strikes, a ranger has very little ability to make good unarmed attacks, even with the lesser tattoos this subclass adds.

Triceratops
This is a small damage spike. It's decent, but nothing spectacular.

Tyrannosaurus
Also a small damage spike, but lasts longer. Probably more useful.


Whirlwind
This outclasses Phanaton in every way except for duration. But it's a utility ability that emulates fly for a tenth of the duration and you only get it at 15th level at the earliest. This feels bad.

I think breaking away from copying the prestige class exactly into 5e would help this a lot. There are a lot of aspects of 3.5 design philosophy in this that don't fit in well in 5e. I'm left with the sense that if I choose this as my ranger subclass I wouldn't be getting much out of it other than a couple new ways to make unarmed strikes and a couple options for miniature damage spikes if I made it to really high levels.

The other impression I got was a sense of "I'm a ranger who actually wanted to play a barbarian" and that comes entirely from the Badger tattoo.

Spoiler: White Necromancy

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White Necromancy
Uh. I'm coming back to this.

Rebuke Death
This is a perfectly fine feature. It seems a little odd for a wizard, who probably doesn't have a ton of health, but it gives them a little bit of healing ability, which is cool. I like this. It's got fun potential.

Life Bond
Pedantry note: Free actions aren't a thing in 5e.

This feels really similar to Rebuke Death. I would have expected something thematically different from "sacrifice health to heal allies." I'll reiterate my earlier point: This doesn't work well with one of the lowest health classes in the game. Getting a second ability that emphasizes spending your own health to heal exacerbates that problem.

Necromancer's Sacrifice
I really want to see a feature that does something different than the ones we've already seen. This is the third variation of this sort of ability we've seen and the problems stated above are not improved by more of the same.

Enduring Sacrifice
This comes in much, much later than I would have expected and seems fairly humdrum in comparison with the sorts of features other wizard subclasses get at this level.

White Necromancy
Coming back to this. I'm not a fan of this feature. It allows a wizard to steal the spells that clerics are best known for. Stealing one or two of these spells might be okay, but this feels like way too much.

Edit: @Dualswinger, did you intend to post in the Base Class Contest thread?

[Snowben Gaming]

Welp, its been over a week since I last updated my entry and I've come to realise that I'm kinda just lacking the motivation for this one. I just don't really feel the theme I guess, so I've just completely stalled. So rather than throwing my head against a brick wall made of writer's (homebrewer's?) block, I'm just gonna skip this one. I'm sticking around though, so I'll be entering the next one. In the meantime, I'll get started on reviews.

[BerzerkerUnit]

I thought I was going to take a pass on this contest, then I started tinkering with a set of Vestige binder rules I'd written for something else and thought it could work as a Barbarian subclass. Then I started writing it up as its own thread before remembering it fit the rules for this contest. While the start times indicate it was up for 2 hours, it was actually only up for about 10 minutes in any useable fashion.

If that's a dealbreaker pls ignore the Spiritwalker Barbarian. Otherwise, please provide any feedback you so desire. I will say I'm strongly considering replacing the unique Taboo curses with one generic one like "gain a level of exhaustion" or an aspect of Bestow Curse, but I think the unique curses enhance the flavor of the character.

My intent is that you start with 2 Vestiges known and have to roll randomly to learn of the others, but after you've bound one it becomes known to you. I expect you could learn of others from a mentor, a foe, or a record of some sort.

Note: Barbarians get a fighting style at 1st in my home games (Unarmed, Dueling, Great Weapon, Thrown, or Archery).

[Nuptup]

Note: Barbarians get a fighting style at 1st in my home games (Unarmed, Dueling, Great Weapon, Thrown, or Archery).

I've always kind of wondered why they didn't by default, but never acted on it. Has this had any large impact on balance, or has it mostly just been nice to add and no real issues arise? Would doing the same for rogues be an issue?

[BerzerkerUnit]

It’s a notable bump when the Barbarian isn’t raging or if they use a great axe.

The oversight of granting them one kind of comes down to old timey racism, but that’s a discussion for another thread.

[sengmeng]

I was going to give last minute feedback but honestly I liked everything and have no real suggestions. These entries are superb and captured the feel of their inspirations quite well (of the ones I recognized).

[MoleMage]

Got caught up today, vote thread will land tomorrow instead.

[Amechra]

I've always kind of wondered why they didn't by default, but never acted on it. Has this had any large impact on balance, or has it mostly just been nice to add and no real issues arise? Would doing the same for rogues be an issue?

I think that, theoretically, Rage is supposed to be their "Fighting Style" — same with the Monk and Martial Arts. I feel like Rogues are less "interested" in Fighting Styles (other than Archery, but that's just because Archery is legitimately overpowered), thanks to their combat style being so idiosyncratic.

[nickl_2000]

I think that, theoretically, Rage is supposed to be their "Fighting Style" — same with the Monk and Martial Arts. I feel like Rogues are less "interested" in Fighting Styles (other than Archery, but that's just because Archery is legitimately overpowered), thanks to their combat style being so idiosyncratic.

I would personally call rogue's sneak attack their fighting style.

[BerzerkerUnit]

I would personally call rogue's sneak attack their fighting style.

I would agree.

But if Rage is supposed to be a style, why make it such a mercilessly limited resource?

[Amechra]

But if Rage is supposed to be a style, why make it such a mercilessly limited resource?

Maybe it's actually supposed to be Reckless Attacks? I dunno.

In general, I think that anyone who gets Extra Attack as part of their actual class chassis should also get Fighting Styles, if only because that's what helps distinguish a martial character from a non-martial character at really low levels.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Maybe it's actually supposed to be Reckless Attacks? I dunno.

In general, I think that anyone who gets Extra Attack as part of their actual class chassis should also get Fighting Styles, if only because that's what helps distinguish a martial character from a non-martial character at really low levels.

Hard agree.

[MoleMage]

Voting time is here, so go cast your ballots!

https://forums.giantitp.com/showthre...8#post25263658

[nickl_2000]

So, probably not the right place for this, but I figured that there are some really good homebrewers that enter this content so I'll give it a shot.

Does anyone here us DMs Guild for listing/selling homebrew? I'd be looking at Pay What You Want model, but I don't know if people actually ever pay for anything to make it worthwhile to format it perfectly and get it listed.

[MoleMage]

So, probably not the right place for this, but I figured that there are some really good homebrewers that enter this content so I'll give it a shot.

Does anyone here us DMs Guild for listing/selling homebrew? I'd be looking at Pay What You Want model, but I don't know if people actually ever pay for anything to make it worthwhile to format it perfectly and get it listed.

I always write in gmbinder first and reformat from there, so it's not a lot of work for me to get a class up (I just hand it to a friend to proofread and it's usually good to go after I fix the spelling and punctuation). 10 minutes on GIMP making a cover and 10 minutes on DMsGuild filling out the metadata.

All told: it isn't a lot of money. I've had stuff up since March of last year and my best sellers have made me around 20 dollars. But with each new thing you post, your old stuff gets more traffic, so the value grows over time with number of things posted.

[nickl_2000]

I always write in gmbinder first and reformat from there, so it's not a lot of work for me to get a class up (I just hand it to a friend to proofread and it's usually good to go after I fix the spelling and punctuation). 10 minutes on GIMP making a cover and 10 minutes on DMsGuild filling out the metadata.

All told: it isn't a lot of money. I've had stuff up since March of last year and my best sellers have made me around 20 dollars. But with each new thing you post, your old stuff gets more traffic, so the value grows over time with number of things posted.

I've always used https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/ myself, which I can combine different subclasses together into a few sets and give it a shot. Thanks.

[BerzerkerUnit]

I've always used https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/ myself, which I can combine different subclasses together into a few sets and give it a shot. Thanks.

Same here. I clear probably ~50 USD a year.
Adventures sell way better than player options.

[nickl_2000]

Same here. I clear probably ~50 USD a year.
Adventures sell way better than player options.

Nothing wrong with that, that gets me a free book and set of dice a year. Got to have something to support the habit.

[MoleMage]

Alrighty, our winners are:

In 3rd place, with seven points, we have Twelvetrees with the Way of the Firestarter! Even the wisest of monks love burning stuff.

In 2nd place, also with seven points but winning via the second tiebreaker, we have nickl_2000's Elf! Hie ye back to thee good olde days.

And in 1st place, earning twelve points, we have Ilerien's College of Laments! Sing a dirge. Play an elegy. Raise a zombie (wait what?).

Our next theme is resoundingly So You Don't Have To II, with Hold My Ale coming in as the runner up. I need a few minutes to get it formatted and then we can start on our posts!

Voting is called (two days late, sorry; NaNoWriMo trounced me this year) and new thread is formatted and up! https://forums.giantitp.com/showthre...n-t-Have-To-II

[Nuptup]

Kind of sucks that my previous subclass submission would have been completely perfect for this contest lol. Darn.

[Ilerien]

Apparently, I missed the deadline for voting. It was a long week. :(
To compensate for this, let me squeeze a quick review into my schedule.

Spoiler: Monastic Tradition: Zerth'Arai

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I certainly like the flavor! The githzerai need more love.
Judging by the description, I expect this monk to mess with action economy a lot.

Spoiler: Borrow Potential

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Beginning at 3rd level after choosing this tradition you learn to borrow the force of potential blows from the near future. Used judiciously, the loss of power in the future isn't noticeable, but an initiate can siphon great power from those future moments for explosive power that may eliminate the need to even strike a blow in the future.
Once per turn when you hit with an unarmed attack you can deal additional damage equal to your proficiency bonus. Alternatively, when you take the attack action on your turn you can choose to apply this extra damage to every attack you make until the beginning of your next turn. When you use the feature in this way you can only take one action or bonus action on your following turn.

Any monk could use a source of reliable bonus damage without having to expend ki. Good.
Do you have to activate the second clause before resolving your first attack?

Spoiler: Continuum Transference

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Also at 3rd level you learn to share moments of your personal time line with nearby allies. When you use your Step of the Wind or Patient Defense features you can allow a creature you can see within 30 feet to use their reaction and gain their benefit instead. A creature that Dashes can move up to your speed as part of the reaction. A creature that Disengages or Dodges retains that benefit until the beginning of your next turn, regardless of what they do with their action on their own turn.

I see nothing wrong with it. Thematic and useful.

Spoiler: Temporal Scythe

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At 6th level your mastery of the ebb and flow of time allows you to steal time from foes. When you hit a creature with an unarmed attack you can force it to make a Wisdom saving throw against your Ki DC. On a failure the creature becomes Slowed until the end of your next turn and you can apply the benefits of Haste to a creature you can see within 30 feet. A creature affected by Haste in this way does not lose the ability to take actions when the effect ends. No matter how many creatures are slowed in this way, only one creature can gain the Hasted benefit.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Proficiency bonus and recover all uses after a long rest. If you have no uses left you can continue to use this feature by spending a Ki point for each additional use.

Generally, 5e avoids cross references to spells like "this effect is just like the spell X, but does Y instead of Z". It's likely to cause confusion when some finer things are brought into question, like, do you have to concentrate on the effect?.. I suppose the answer is "no", but this is speculation.
I'd actually duplicate the relevant parts of haste and slow descriptions (with an additional note that this effect doesn't allow a creature that can already take 2 actions per turn - for example, using ordinary haste or action surge - take the third one). Otherwise, it seems like go-to tactic if your party is fighting a creature that's going to stay on the battlefield for more than a couple of rounds. Maybe nerf it down slightly by cutting down effect durations? Or introducing ki cost right off the bat? I'm not really sure.

Spoiler: Well of Udyr

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At 11th level your art allows you to shred causality forcing fate to reconfigure itself. When a creature you can see within 30 feet is hit by an attack or fails a saving throw you can use your reaction to force the attack or save to target another creature within 30 feet. If the affected spell has a concentration duration, you must concentrate on the spell. This effect creates a visible distortion in reality that originates from you but allows melee attacks to strike creatures beyound their reach and spells intended for one's self to fall on another.
You can use this feature once and regain its use after a short or long rest.

You want to word it more strictly. For example, can you steal concentration on an instance of hypnotic pattern that your entire party failed their saves against, thereby effectively dispelling it? Can you provide another "concentration slot" for your party if your wizard banishes a random rat, and then you redirect the effect to an actual monster you're fighting?
1 per rest is fine, maybe allow to spend ki on further uses?

Spoiler: Zerth's Warudo

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At 17th level your attunement to the march of time attains perfection. You can cast Time Stop as an action. When you cast Time Stop in this way you can attack other creatures with unarmed strikes without prematurely ending the effect. These attacks have advantage and are automatically critical hits as if the targets were paralyzed. Alternatively, you can cast this spell as a reaction when Time Stop or similar magic is used within 1000 feet of you in which case you and the triggering creature resolve your turns normally.

Did you forget to impose a per rest limit or assign a ki cost?
Even if it's severely limited, it might be better than Quivering Palm which is generally viewed as the best monk subclass capstone. I mean, that's 4 or 5 (if you manage to squeeze in haste with your 6th level feature) guaranteed crits per round for 1d4+1 rounds. Let's say 4 attacks, 3.5 rounds on average, 14 attacks. Base damage would be d10x2 + 5 which is 224 damage + 6 additional damage per round from the 3rd level feature (total of 245), assuming all attacks hit. Also, performing that much attack and damage rolls in a row is kinda tedious.
I'd suggest sticking to the original time stop, but if it end as a result of your unarmed attack or an attack with your monk weapon, the target suffers a lot of force damage due to the temporal knot shattering.
Regarding the reaction, I'd say it would be more elegant to give this monk immunity to effects messing with the flow of time. If anyone tries to stop time for you (with time stop or similar effect), you act and take your turns as normal (while all others don't). Won't change much, it's still a very niche benefit.

Overall, I like it. The theme is here, I really like the concept of pulling some oomph from your own future. And the implementation delivers on expectations, though some features could really benefit from clearer wording and taking some edge cases into account.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Apparently, I missed the deadline for voting. It was a long week. :(
To compensate for this, let me squeeze a quick review into my schedule.

Spoiler: Monastic Tradition: Zerth'Arai

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I certainly like the flavor! The githzerai need more love.
Judging by the description, I expect this monk to mess with action economy a lot.

Spoiler: Borrow Potential

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Any monk could use a source of reliable bonus damage without having to expend ki. Good.
Do you have to activate the second clause before resolving your first attack?

Spoiler: Continuum Transference

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I see nothing wrong with it. Thematic and useful.

Spoiler: Temporal Scythe

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Generally, 5e avoids cross references to spells like "this effect is just like the spell X, but does Y instead of Z". It's likely to cause confusion when some finer things are brought into question, like, do you have to concentrate on the effect?.. I suppose the answer is "no", but this is speculation.
I'd actually duplicate the relevant parts of haste and slow descriptions (with an additional note that this effect doesn't allow a creature that can already take 2 actions per turn - for example, using ordinary haste or action surge - take the third one). Otherwise, it seems like go-to tactic if your party is fighting a creature that's going to stay on the battlefield for more than a couple of rounds. Maybe nerf it down slightly by cutting down effect durations? Or introducing ki cost right off the bat? I'm not really sure.

Spoiler: Well of Udyr

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You want to word it more strictly. For example, can you steal concentration on an instance of hypnotic pattern that your entire party failed their saves against, thereby effectively dispelling it? Can you provide another "concentration slot" for your party if your wizard banishes a random rat, and then you redirect the effect to an actual monster you're fighting?
1 per rest is fine, maybe allow to spend ki on further uses?

Spoiler: Zerth's Warudo

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Did you forget to impose a per rest limit or assign a ki cost?
Even if it's severely limited, it might be better than Quivering Palm which is generally viewed as the best monk subclass capstone. I mean, that's 4 or 5 (if you manage to squeeze in haste with your 6th level feature) guaranteed crits per round for 1d4+1 rounds. Let's say 4 attacks, 3.5 rounds on average, 14 attacks. Base damage would be d10x2 + 5 which is 224 damage + 6 additional damage per round from the 3rd level feature (total of 245), assuming all attacks hit. Also, performing that much attack and damage rolls in a row is kinda tedious.
I'd suggest sticking to the original time stop, but if it end as a result of your unarmed attack or an attack with your monk weapon, the target suffers a lot of force damage due to the temporal knot shattering.
Regarding the reaction, I'd say it would be more elegant to give this monk immunity to effects messing with the flow of time. If anyone tries to stop time for you (with time stop or similar effect), you act and take your turns as normal (while all others don't). Won't change much, it's still a very niche benefit.

Overall, I like it. The theme is here, I really like the concept of pulling some oomph from your own future. And the implementation delivers on expectations, though some features could really benefit from clearer wording and taking some edge cases into account.

Thank you for your feedback!

The slow and haste from L6 are both “until the end of your next turn” I’ll tighten up the language.

The L11 will get touched up as well but I’m not worried about edge cases in general. I know some think it’s unfair to leave balancing specific combos to DMs but I’ve never had a problem with doing it because it means classes and subclasses can work on their own merits and be balanced against each other, without the Spectre of a broken combo preventing something cool from being implemented.

The level 17 is a 1/day, looks like the last line did not get copy pasted from my gdoc though I am considering making it 15 Ki, ie exactly enough for maximum ORA ORA.

[Ilerien]

The slow and haste from L6 are both “until the end of your next turn” I’ll tighten up the language.

Oh! I'm sorry, missed it completely in my hurry to finish the review. :D But indeed should make it more clear the duration applies to both slow and haste effects.
Also, does it mean you can take 2 additional actions in total if you haste yourself this way?

[BerzerkerUnit]

Oh! I'm sorry, missed it completely in my hurry to finish the review. :D But indeed should make it more clear the duration applies to both slow and haste effects.
Also, does it mean you can take 2 additional actions in total if you haste yourself this way?

As a general rule, spell effects don't stack, only the highest level (or the one the player chooses in beneficial cases) retains its effects. So this Haste wouldn't give you multiple extra actions, it's still the effect of haste so won't stack with itself or the spell. However, it might be the player's choice to let this effect overwrite a spell version in the event the caster is at risk of losing concentration, since this one doesn't kill your following turn.

[sengmeng]

Idk if it fits the theme but I had fun. The Magnificent Bastard is up and ready for PEACHes.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Idk if it fits the theme but I had fun. The Magnificent Bastard is up and ready for PEACHes.

In my experience we are very loose with theme, but I'm struggling with this one. As is, if we were to vote on it right now, I'd say it doesn't fit. But if you provided your rationale or inspirations, I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Spoiler: My reasoning

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My understanding of the purpose of the theme is that they function as both writing prompt and very rough yardstick. It's hard enough asking someone to evaluate say martials vs casters (a common division within a theme), but to evaluate two things with very different design goals against each other is that much harder. So just throwing anything you think is a good idea into the contest isn't exactly fair.

It might be a great idea, but Protagonist the subclass vs "options intended to facilitate group/other's actions" is going to be a rough comparison.

On to critique-

Level 3- MADness is always a tough sell, I'd give them a proficiency option for Persuasion/Intimidation and let them add proficiency bonus instead. Weaker at the outset, likely stronger come level 5, overtaking the Shield spell at level 17.

"Asspull"- conceptually a solid ability. I've used similar mechanics myself for a hoard feature from a dragon patron and a "batman" subclass for a hero class. The aesthetic of literally placing things up one's gluteal division isn't doing it any favors though, no matter how cheeky you think it is, no one wants to climb a rope it looks like your PC pulled from their playdough not-so-fun-unless-you're-into-that factory.

Backstory reveal- fine

Perfect Defense- "the normal damage of the attack or effect is reduced to one d4. This only applies to the triggering attack." might work better than weapon dice. I'm not sure what weapon dice means with this feature when it's a crit and no clue what it means for something like scorching ray. I'd also cap this ability at Proficiency bonus/day.

Perfect Offense- Trap option from my perspective and kind of undermines the theme of this subclass. "Trade your core feature for another subclass' core feature" doesn't feel good and some maneuvers are crap and you aren't rolling dice so they won't double on a crit... This is a level 15 fighter feature. "When you make an attack that would miss you can treat the d20 as if it had rolled the minimum number to hit instead." or "When you hit a creature with an attack you can declare it a perfect strike. The target has vulnerability to the damage of this attack." either would be fine.

Relentless- "whenever you roll initiative with fewer than your maximum uses of Plot Armor, you gain one use." is better. Plot armor on its own isn't so great a single use is make or break and all the other features like that are unequivocally bad as written.

[sengmeng]

Spoiler

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In my experience we are very loose with theme, but I'm struggling with this one. As is, if we were to vote on it right now, I'd say it doesn't fit. But if you provided your rationale or inspirations, I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Spoiler: My reasoning

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My understanding of the purpose of the theme is that they function as both writing prompt and very rough yardstick. It's hard enough asking someone to evaluate say martials vs casters (a common division within a theme), but to evaluate two things with very different design goals against each other is that much harder. So just throwing anything you think is a good idea into the contest isn't exactly fair.

It might be a great idea, but Protagonist the subclass vs "options intended to facilitate group/other's actions" is going to be a rough comparison.

On to critique-

Level 3- MADness is always a tough sell, I'd give them a proficiency option for Persuasion/Intimidation and let them add proficiency bonus instead. Weaker at the outset, likely stronger come level 5, overtaking the Shield spell at level 17.

"Asspull"- conceptually a solid ability. I've used similar mechanics myself for a hoard feature from a dragon patron and a "batman" subclass for a hero class. The aesthetic of literally placing things up one's gluteal division isn't doing it any favors though, no matter how cheeky you think it is, no one wants to climb a rope it looks like your PC pulled from their playdough not-so-fun-unless-you're-into-that factory.

Backstory reveal- fine

Perfect Defense- "the normal damage of the attack or effect is reduced to one d4. This only applies to the triggering attack." might work better than weapon dice. I'm not sure what weapon dice means with this feature when it's a crit and no clue what it means for something like scorching ray. I'd also cap this ability at Proficiency bonus/day.

Perfect Offense- Trap option from my perspective and kind of undermines the theme of this subclass. "Trade your core feature for another subclass' core feature" doesn't feel good and some maneuvers are crap and you aren't rolling dice so they won't double on a crit... This is a level 15 fighter feature. "When you make an attack that would miss you can treat the d20 as if it had rolled the minimum number to hit instead." or "When you hit a creature with an attack you can declare it a perfect strike. The target has vulnerability to the damage of this attack." either would be fine.

Relentless- "whenever you roll initiative with fewer than your maximum uses of Plot Armor, you gain one use." is better. Plot armor on its own isn't so great a single use is make or break and all the other features like that are unequivocally bad as written.

Hmm I think I'll take it almost all the way back to the drawing board.

[Ilerien]

As a general rule, spell effects don't stack, only the highest level (or the one the player chooses in beneficial cases) retains its effects. So this Haste wouldn't give you multiple extra actions, it's still the effect of haste so won't stack with itself or the spell. However, it might be the player's choice to let this effect overwrite a spell version in the event the caster is at risk of losing concentration, since this one doesn't kill your following turn.

Sorry, my question was unclear. :(
I mean, by the wording, you give a creature of your choice haste effect until the end of your next turn. Does applying it to yourself allow you to reap the benefit twice: right after you use the feature and during your next turn?

[BerzerkerUnit]

Sorry, my question was unclear. :(
I mean, by the wording, you give a creature of your choice haste effect until the end of your next turn. Does applying it to yourself allow you to reap the benefit twice: right after you use the feature and during your next turn?

Nice catch! RAW, yes, and while that's an unintended boost, I don't think it's so big it needs a nerf. I think you're getting ~15 damage out of it if you place it on yourself that way, but might get ~20 if you put it on a GWM wielder sharpshooter. The +2 AC is needed as a Monk and the extra movement is probably extraneous in most environments.