D&D Subclass Contest Chat Thread 2: Joke Entries Win with Alarming Frequency

[tzurk]

@Old Harry - cheers for the clarification! I'd love to see this expanded to work with archers; though I'm not sure how reducing spell ranges to touch will work out there. Spellcasting Focus working with a sword and shield in hand was exactly what I was trying to talk about haha. Eldritch Blast fits the name; I'm not sure if it combo-ing with Weapon Bond is a great idea - e.g. 2d10+2d8 damage - although writing this out just now makes me realise that without Invocation support it probably is fine? The real issue would come through a Warlock multi class to turn that into 2d10+2d8+2*Cha, and then 3d10+3d8+3*Cha at 11, and so on. Not sure if multi classing is on your radar as a homebrewer though.

@Twelvetrees re: assassin

Man - death strike & bonus profs - shows how much attention I paid to the OG assassin besides the surprise = autocrit feature. Infiltration & Exfiltration work together well in/out of combat I think to complement each other nicely, and really you've managed to fix the glaring problems of the original subclass in a) the hoops you had to jump through to trigger Assassinate and b) that being pretty much all you meaningfully get til your capstone. I'm still not sure if the capstone is still a touch too strong in that it's basically guaranteed 40d6 damage 1/combat, but I imagine most DMs will simply build around that for the boss fights that instantly murdering nearly any single dude actually matters in the long run.

Mantle of Majesty does come earlier than Exfiltration but also costs a resource - admittedly by level 5 you are throwing them around like candy. I'd honestly need to playlets it to say for sure or not whether it is too much, and I do think it would largely depend on party makeup. At worst its' a nice get of jail free card for someone who needs it, at best it's a bit of cheese the DM will need to plan around (but what isn't these days) and I am always a big fan of party coop/coordination which this feature encourages.

RE: Champion

Thanks for the feedback - appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

Signature weapon - I had thought about choosing a weapon type e.g. one-handed melee, two-handed melee, ranged; but that leaves thrown and lances (and to a lesser extent versatile) in a weird spot that I haven't figured out how to word properly, and also thought about making you choose one weapon type e.g. glaives, daggers, whips, etc, which would encourage thrown/dual wielding (yay for underused play styles!) but also limits the RP potential of playing rapier/dagger or hammer/axe or "guy who uses whatever's easiest" to using X amount of Y.

For Brutish Weapon, I'm not even sure how a "miss" with an arrow would still cause any damage, but I didn't want to limit it or any of the options to melee only. I figure in my head that it still "hits" but doesn't "pierce" and just bruises or something instead.

I'm aware Defensive Weapon drops off in usefulness, and while it's clearly the superior choice for a sword + board fighter at those levels it competes with BA attacks from GWM/PAM/dual wielding/XBE which would hopefully encourage a bit of variety. I think it would still see some play at 5+ for a frontliner but would be a tough sell at 11+ once you're trading 3 attacks for 1. Also not really sure what to do about it at that point.

Distracting - I've always thought the BM's BA + 1 attack + 1 reaction was a bad trade unless you had a rogue or a pally, and I designed this feature with the mindset that a) encouraging party cooperation feels good at the table and b) not every party will have a character in it who can justify an extensive resource trade. I do acknowledge its relative power level though and I do like the idea of it unlocking Help as a BA instead - will give that a think.

Sweeping was intended to be range agnostic, just couldn't think of a better name for it. You're right that one enemy is enough for the splash damage.

I have the same misgivings about True Weapon, but Forge Cleric gets it at 1. That does mean that a Forge Cleric 1/Champion Fighter 3 with archery FS can have a +2 weapon and a +2 attack bonus for an essential -1/+12... but I'm not sure that's the end of the world for this, given it can make life a lot easier for a lot of other builds too. Especially if I work out how to make it work for a dual wield build who can suddenly have 2 +1 weapons at 3 and a flurry attack at 10 to try and keep up with the GWM/SS builds.

For Remarkable Athlete, my thinking behind giving an additional d4 was to stop the feature from being useless for checks you were already proficient in - e.g. Athletics on a grappler.

Signature Fighting Styles -

Defense - I thought so too, but am struggling to come up with alternates. +2 AC might "feel" better than +1 to AC and saves, but in my experience the saves boost is probably more useful in the long run. Any DR would have to be aware of stacking with Heavy Armour Master. Just drawing blanks.

Blind Fighting does need a rework as BerzerkerUnit also pointed out.

GWF is intended to stack (as they all do - e.g. upgrading Defense gives +1 AC and +1 to saves, even though its entry only reads as +1 to saves), which ends up looking like 1) reroll 1s/2s, 2) any that reroll back into 1s/2s get treated as 3s. Maybe it is a few too many steps and I could swap it with the Archery max damage feature - less likelihood of crit fishing with improved range and Elven Accuracy then as well.

Interception - good point. Maybe it should read until the start of the victim's next turn rather than the fighter's.

Thrown does need some love. I'm finding it hard to give it a niche between ranged/dueling/TWF. I think I will try and find a way to get multiple thrown attacks covered by Signature Weapon, so will then work it out from there.

TWF - cheers! I do want to give this a stronger FS to compensate for its lack of support/an SS/GWM equivalent in 5e.

Unarmed - it was not my intention to open this up to giving your Str bonus to everybody who hits your grappled target with an unarmed strike - while that's a cool visual it feels weird mechanically & will have to fix the wording.

I know that "lots of options" can often read like "too much complexity" to a new player, but I think having default/easy options like True Weapon can help with that, and all the Fighting Styles are linked to a specific playstyle that the player should definitely have figured out by level 10. I really appreciate all the feedback & will take a second look at a lot of the options here. Cheers!

Changes made:

Signature Weapon changed to one named weapon type - e.g. short swords, darts, battle-axes. This benefits TWF and thrown weapon builds (intended), but has made the wording a bit trickier. If anyone can think of a better way to word it, please let me know!

Distracting Weapon changed to offering Help as a BA on a successful hit.

Sweeping Weapon changed to splash damage to a single target.

Archery Signature Fighting Style changed from maximised damage to maximising one die to prevent stacking with crits.

Blind Fighting SFS changed from advantage to +2 to attack rolls on targets you are relying on blindsight to see. Still up in the air about options for this one.

Interception SFS changed to resistance til the start of the target's turn rather than the fighter's turn to reduce reliance on a lucky initiative order.

Thrown Weapon SFS changed to +1 damage die on a crit as well as double the range - again not set in stone.

Unarmed Fighting SFS clarified to only be a damage boost for your own unarmed strikes.

[Old Harry MTX]

@Old Harry - cheers for the clarification! I'd love to see this expanded to work with archers; though I'm not sure how reducing spell ranges to touch will work out there.

That's why i added "original spell" to the wording (While wielding a bonded weapon, you can replace any spell attack roll with a weapon attack roll, if the target is within range of both the original spell and the weapon), meaning to use the range of the spell as it is BEFORE it is reduced to touch. It should work, maybe i have to polish the wording a bit.

Spellcasting Focus working with a sword and shield in hand was exactly what I was trying to talk about haha.

Hahaha, sorry, English is not my native language^^

Eldritch Blast fits the name; I'm not sure if it combo-ing with Weapon Bond is a great idea - e.g. 2d10+2d8 damage - although writing this out just now makes me realise that without Invocation support it probably is fine? The real issue would come through a Warlock multi class to turn that into 2d10+2d8+2*Cha, and then 3d10+3d8+3*Cha at 11, and so on. Not sure if multi classing is on your radar as a homebrewer though.

That's right, that's why I wasn't able to sleep well tonight thinking about this XD. I think I will temporarily fix it by writing a special cantrip (the most eligible name at the moment is Eldritch Shot), same as Eldritch Blast but with a d6 or a d8 instead of the d10. Anyway, I don't want to build the subclass around a single cantrip or spell, so I want to see if I can come up with an alternative.

[nickl_2000]

Sorry about the delay on my reviews of others. I got very busy this week prepping for an interview Friday. I promise that I will get to them though!

[Old Harry MTX]

Eldritch Blast fits the name; I'm not sure if it combo-ing with Weapon Bond is a great idea - e.g. 2d10+2d8 damage - although writing this out just now makes me realise that without Invocation support it probably is fine? The real issue would come through a Warlock multi class to turn that into 2d10+2d8+2*Cha, and then 3d10+3d8+3*Cha at 11, and so on. Not sure if multi classing is on your radar as a homebrewer though.

That's right, that's why I wasn't able to sleep well tonight thinking about this XD. I think I will temporarily fix it by writing a special cantrip (the most eligible name at the moment is Eldritch Shot), same as Eldritch Blast but with a d6 or a d8 instead of the d10. Anyway, I don't want to build the subclass around a single cantrip or spell, so I want to see if I can come up with an alternative.

UPDATE: so, instead of creating a brand new cantrip that looks like Eldritch Blast, I added a feature (Eldritch Flurry at 7th level) that turns any "cantrip with a single spell attack roll" in a sort of Eldritch Blast.
I put a restriction to avoid focusing all "beams" on one target to increase the chances of inflicting a malus, but now you can try to hit multiple creatures and inflict it on all of them (but nothing seems gamebreaking). It obviously makes a great combo with Weaponbond.

Sorry about the delay on my reviews of others. I got very busy this week prepping for an interview Friday. I promise that I will get to them though!

Good luck for your interview!

[Amechra]

I decided to throw my hat in the ring with a remake of the Way Of The Sun Soul.

[Twelvetrees]

Two more reviews.

Spoiler: Artificer - Alchemist

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Alchemist Spells
Comparing with the standard Alchemist, losing healing word, death ward, and raise dead hurts. Polymorph and enhance ability do some work to make up for their loss and Tasha's caustic brew fits an alchemist well thematically.

Tool Proficiency
Giving expertise a few levels before Tool Expertise comes online is a nice improvement.

Alchemical Mixes
Ooh, I like that you give proficiency with throwing acid and alchemist's fire. That fits.

I can't help but compare the rest of this feature with the Artillerist's Eldritch Cannon. The mixes that focus on damage, like Corrosive Acid, Thunderstone, and Pipe Bomb don't seem that good when you can only use them intelligence modifier times per long rest and an Eldritch Cannon can keep shooting for comparable damage for an hour.

The other mixes seem good, if a little repetitive. Frost Flask, Tanglefoot Bag, and Bottled Tar all inhibit movement, for example.

You also run into the Battle Master problem when picking mixes at higher levels - you're choosing from the same list and picking options that were your third, fourth, and fifth picks when you initially got the feature. I'd consider letting your picks at higher levels give you better options, in a similar fashion to some warlock invocations being level gated.

Create Potions
Can you call out what sort of action it takes to drink one of these potions? I can guess that it takes an action, but it would be good to explicitly say.

Tightening the wording around how many you can create and have existing at once would help, too. Creating potions right before taking a long rest is a viable strategy right now that allows an alchemist to get back their spell slots and have a full bag of potions ready to go. Maybe something like "You can use this feature until the combined spell levels of the spells imbued into potions equals your proficiency modifier. This resets after you take a long rest. Any potions you create with this feature last until they are drunk or until the end of your next long rest."

Given the requirements for spells that can be imbued into potions, this is the full list of spells that are eligible: Alter Self (C), Blink, Blur (C), Disguise Self, Expeditious Retreat (C), False Life, See Invisibility, Ashardalon's Stride (C), and Kinetic Jaunt (C).

Concentration-less blur is really good, but the rest seem situational at best. This feature also sees some overlap with Spell-Storing Item at 11th level and that feature isn't limited to self-targeting spells. I'd been hoping for an expansion of the Replicate Magic Item infusion to include potions when I read the title of the feature, so this ends up feeling like a little bit of a let-down.

Quick Alchemy
I love that you added the Alchemy Jug as an infusion. It's perfectly on-the-nose. Boosting how often you can use your Alchemical Mixes will change how an alchemist plays, so that adds an interesting dynamic.

Increasing the damage of the Mixes at this level would help the alchemist's damage output. Being able to use them more helps too, but it doesn't change how much damage you can deal in a single round.

Alchemy Mastery
I'm disappointed by this capstone. The official option's greatest strength comes from giving you two free spells, both of which are quite good. Switching that out for not having to prepare the spells you stuff into your potions and being able to make potions faster feels like a poor trade, especially because this comes after you've gained Spell-Storing Item. Even if you can create a potion faster, I'm hard pressed to think of a situation where you'd want to spend your action to create one and have a friend spend their action to drink it.

Edit: Wait, is this meant to allow you to ignore the eligibility requirements from Create Potion? How would that work with spells like arcane eye or wall of stone?

Overall Impression
You've done a much better job than the official version does of making sure every feature this subclass grants makes a character feel like an alchemist. The mechanics around Create Potion feel a little shaky, but I like where this is going.

Spoiler: Way of the Sun Soul

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Ring the Golden Bell
I'm reading this as a combination of some of the features granted by the Way of Mercy and the Way of the Astral Self. Increased reach works well with the predilection monks have for skirmishing tactics and the option to increase damage is quite potent on a monk.

I'd suggest taking a page out of the Way of Mercy's book and limiting the additional damage to once per turn. I'd also lean towards not making the extra damage contingent on having increased your reach. As it is, this feature encourages blowing through as much of your ki at once as possible: You have to spend ki to increase your reach if you want additional damage and the most cost-efficient way to spend it is all at the same time.

Writing out how much light you shed instead of making people look up how much light a torch provides would be a minor, but helpful, change.

Brushing Aside Sunbeams
I wouldn't expect this to come up much, given the limited number of spells that rely on attacks, but it'll be cool when it does. What happens if you reduce the damage to 0? What kind of missile do you catch?

Searing Arc Sweep
I don't know how to evaluate this feature. Giving additional attacks is powerful, but forcing you to multi-target is a good limiter. I think I'd have to see this in play to get a feel for it, but more attacks are always fun.

Step of the Sun
I love this. Flight, plus turning light levels into terrain emphasizes the themes of this subclass and gets them to stand out for other players as well.

Crackling Solar Aura
The first line would be more clear if worded "You shed bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light for an additional 20 feet."

What part of Ring the Golden Bell does the first bullet point allow you to activate without spending a ki point?

Not requiring you to use your reaction to deal radiant damage when you get hit is a better version of the official feature, but it's difficult to quantify how much better it is. More creatures have multiattack at high levels, which probably makes this stronger than it first appears. That's not necessarily bad, but it does incentivize a different style of play than the previous 16 levels. You now want to get hit by weak attacks because you'll deal more damage that way.

Shedding light that is treated as sunlight is a nice little ribbon feature that can occasionally come in handy. It also makes a ton of sense for a class with "sun" in the name.

Overall Impression
Other than some details with the wording of some of the features, Way of the Sun Soul works as a good alternative to the official version. I'm a little sad to see the ability to throw lasers go, but shining like a sun makes up for it.

[ShiningStarling]

Refine Mayhem, huh? Well, I know a subclass with a lot of mayhem...

Just submitted an alteration of Wild Sorcerer, a class that I have used my legendarily poor luck to leverage as a threat against DMs and Players alike.

First time entering a 5e competition, would love any feedback! I'm more of a 3.5/PF kinda gal, but I saw the theme and had an idea I just couldn't resist. Hope you all enjoy :3 <3

[nickl_2000]

Time for reviews

Spoiler: Beastmaster Ranger

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Magic Fang - The higher levels feels a little bit odd on this one, mostly because Ranger's don't get higher than level 6 spells without multiclassing. I know you can multiclass and you can get it through magic secrets, still feels odd.

Alternative Animal Companions - This looks good to me, you are getting better companions as you level and better beasts. I wouldn't mind seeing the ability to get a new companion as something gained during a long rest instead of 24 hours. The only reason I say this is that you effectively lose your subclass if you are dungeon crawling and your beast dies.

Natural Weaponry - I see absolutely no reason why this shouldn't be dex or str for unarmed strikes. Martial weapons deal more damage than all the natural weapons listed here already, so they are generally a superior choice (outside of the magic fang spell) and most Rangers are dex based.

Shared Life - This is abusable as it's written right now. All I need to do is to put my animal companion somewhere safe where it won't ever be attacks and I'm immortal! Probably should add something where you need to be within X feet of each other.

Overall I like this subclass. It's a good middle ground between the old beastmaster that wasn't all that effective and the Tasha's one that is incredibly generic. I like most of the abilities and think it's a really good take on it.

Spoiler: Way of the Elements

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The elemental cantrips are great here. They are so useful and so effective, those alone give the 4e monk more of a magical feel and more effective in general.

For the spells that have costly component, do you still need to spend them? Are you casting as normal or can you bypass it since you are casting with Ki?

For all of the attunement attacks, the damage is slightly confusing. When I'm 9th level can I apply the 2d10 from 9th level without applying the 1d10 from 5th level? Or is it building and you have to spend the lower levels.

Fangs of the Fire Snake - This is a heck of a lot of damage compared to the others. Every time you hit with a unarmed strike

Elemental Strike - Can you choose any of these damage types, or only the ones that you can attune to?

By far a better take on the 4e monk than the official 4e monk. You get to feel the magic all the time instead of it being bursty, you always have the cantrips available and have lots of choices. I like it!

Spoiler: Barbarian Path of the Berserker Revised

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Being done to death just means that it really needs a re-write

Wakened Fury - This is really core, I don't see why this isn't a core feature on all barbarians. So many abilities trigger off of rage, when they run out of them they are just boring.

Frenzy - My first thought on this is what it was to powerful when seeing the damage, but after looking more carefully, I wonder if it's a little weak. You get a decent amount of extra damage, but the resource cost is really, really in using up a Rage. I wouldn't mind seeing something here were you get a certain amount of uses (maybe your Con Mod) then once you have used those it you can use a rage to do it additional times.

Mindless Rage - For many classes I would say meh to this, but on a barbarian it's really powerful and useful. I like it a lot.

Indomitable - I wouldn't mind this having a different name than the fighter ability. A 10/10 Barb/fighter is possible, but since it has the same name you only get whichever one you see first.

Intimidation Stance - At will seems a little much for this. I wouldn't mind some limiter, even it's a high one (prof mod times per short rest even).

Retaliation - If using intimidation stance, does it still have a max of 21? Also, how does it work with reduced damage?

Spoiler: Champion Fighter, Revised

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Signature Weapon = By weapon type you mean a specific weapon, correct? As in, I can choose a Longsword or a Greatsword, but not a sword? If that is the case, I would use one type of sword in your examples.

Signature Weapon - Do these need to be defined by damage type of the weapon? It seems odd doing slashing damage with a maul.
True Weapon - This is the only one I worry about and mostly because of archery weapons. +2 for archery fighting style, +1 for true weapon that makes a gigantic difference in your hit percentage.

Fighting Style Expert
Blind Fighting - So this gives a +2 to hit someone within 10 feet because you can just close your eyes and use the blindsight.

Overall you have a lot of good things going on here. I like the fact that you kept it relatively simple, but still made it so there was a lot going on. My only worry is the stacking of the +'s to hit.

Spoiler: SOULKNIFE

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Mind Blade - The critical aspect of this feels like a problem, especially on a rogue. You can manifest 2 blades round one, then auto-crit in rounds 2 and 3. Sure you don't get to disengage, but being able to roll twice the dice will do some serious damage in those rounds. I wouldn't mind seeing a cap in how often you can auto-crit, maybe proficiency mod times?

Way of the Soulknife - Does this mean the bonus action attack from the monk can be with the soulknife?

Psychic Pin - How long does this last?

I'm really interested in the way you did this so it was available to three different classes. I actually think you did a better job than WotC did in their UA where they attempted the same thing.

More will come later, but here is a start

[nickl_2000]

Reviews Take 2 (sorry about the double posting, but I didn't want someone to miss a review on accident because they read my first post)

Spoiler: Eldritch Knight

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There should be no shame in recycling things that work. Why re-invent the wheel when something was done perfectly before!

Martial Magic - Ouch, this is a pretty rough de-buff. So, I will be watching to see if you make up for it. Losing the ability to throw out a firebolt is painful on a strength based fighter.

Spells Known of 1st Level and Higher - I really, really like the addition of attack spells. I always found the 2 schools to be overly restrictive and this fits into the idea of a martial based attack very well.

Spellcasting Focus - I like this as well, you are a martial and you should be able to handle magic with martial items.

Weapon Bond - "if the target is within either the original spell's range and the range of the weapon." since above you removed the distance ability on spells you really don't need this. All spells are touch spells, so you can remove it. I do se an issue with the attacks when you cast a spell. At level 5, you could cast BB/GFB for 1 attack and rider damage, then you can make 2 more weapon attacks. That is a lot of damage. This ability needs to be limited somehow, either by making it levelled spells or only X amount of times per day.

Eldritch Flurry - "If the cantrip has effects other than just dealing damage and you target the same creature more than once, only the first can inflict those effects" it doesn't hurt to spell this out, but that is standard rules.

I think like the idea behind this. You are a martial character and you are using magic to aid in your ability to do damage to others. There are some interesting combination that I am not completely sure about though. I would love to see the weapon bond and Eldritch Strike a little more clear in your intent for them.

Spoiler: Assassin, Revised

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Assassinate - Really powerful, but better than the original. Question, is a surprise round considered the first round of combat or can you crit in the surprise round and the next round automatically?

Exfiltration Expertise - In the right team this would be incredible. Nice to see more team abilities on a rogue.

Death Strike - Good, strong capstone.

This is a killer, killer class for multiclassing. A Half-Orc assassin 3/Gloomstalker 3/Fighter 11 would get 4 attacks. Each attack doing 6d8 + dex (27x4 + 5x4 + 14 = 108 + 20 + 14 + 8 = 152). Then for good measure we action surge to do an additional 152 damage. Since you are attacking at advantage, there is a good chance you will hit everything and mess the world up on that first round. However, that requires you to be level 17 to make it work, so you should have godlike powers at that point.

The numbers are
1d8 weapon
1d8 Gloomstalker damage
1d8 Half-Orc Savage Critical
+5 Dex
+2 for dueling fighting style
2d6 Sneak attack
3 attacks from fighter, 1 bonus from gloomstalker
(there may be a mistake here, but it's interesting running the numbers).

Spoiler: The Way Of The Sun Soul

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I guess I never considered Sun Soul needing a re-write, but I love Monks so I look forward to seeing what you've got!

Ring the Golden Bell - This is actually a downgrade from the official. Not sure if it needs to be downgraded, but it is probably fine.

Brushing Aside Sunbeams - I love this! The imagery is downright amazing and it makes the Monk even more of a mage slayer.

Searing Arc Sweep - So you can make 6 attacks with this ability. Do I need 3 targets or 6 when I do? As in I've changed my 2 attacks to 3 attacks and target 3 different targets. Then I do flurry for 3 more attacks, can I target the same 3 or does it need to be different?

Crackling Solar Aura - "You may extinguish or reignite your brilliant aura as a bonus action." what is the brilliant aura? Is that the solar aura from this ability?

I like it, you are more sun focused and you can sling around light to do damage. Just a few questions as mentioned above.

Spoiler: Wild Sorcerer

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Welcome to the contest, always happy to see more people joining int
Wild Magic Surge - I like the fact that you can trigger it, and that by upcasting you get at least a little bit more control. Can this be twinned? I would guess not since it isn't a single target spell.

Roll with the Tides - I like the risk here. You could potentially do some serious damage or spend a lot of time as a plant :)

Overall I like it. One of the main complaints I've heard from Wild Magic Sorcerer is that it doesn't trigger often enough. You have done a great job of taking care of that. I really like it!

[Snowben Gaming]

The elemental cantrips are great here. They are so useful and so effective, those alone give the 4e monk more of a magical feel and more effective in general.

For the spells that have costly component, do you still need to spend them? Are you casting as normal or can you bypass it since you are casting with Ki?

I believe I said that all material components are ignored, regardless of if they have a cost. Unless you mean Royalty components from Aquisitons Incorporated? None of the Attunement spells have royalty components so I didn't mention it.

For all of the attunement attacks, the damage is slightly confusing. When I'm 9th level can I apply the 2d10 from 9th level without applying the 1d10 from 5th level? Or is it building and you have to spend the lower levels.

It's supposed to be 5th level - 1 extra ki, 1 extra damage die; 9th level - 2 extra ki, 2 extra damage die; ect. But that's... not exactly what I've written I'll fix that real quick

Fangs of the Fire Snake - This is a heck of a lot of damage compared to the others. Every time you hit with a unarmed strike

I ported fangs over from the original elements monk, but as I changed it to be part of the attack action, I opened it up to procing with flurry. If I limit it to unarmed strikes made with that attack action only would that be better, as then its basically just the original.

Elemental Strike - Can you choose any of these damage types, or only the ones that you can attune to?

Its any of the damage types, I'll add a clause to specify.

By far a better take on the 4e monk than the official 4e monk. You get to feel the magic all the time instead of it being bursty, you always have the cantrips available and have lots of choices. I like it!

Thanks! Glad to hear you like it, I was worried that it was a bit all over the place lol.

[Snowben Gaming]

Alright, I'm stuck with my entry now.
I still need to do:

• Attunement of Metal (there are barely any metal based spells )
• Ability for Attunement of Wood
• The rider effect for Metal for Elemental Strikes
• Investiture of Steel

If anyone has any ideas for these things, it'd be greatly appreciated.

In the mean time, I'll get on reviews.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Aloha all!

I'm about to post a Sun Soul redesign.

Pls note, I haven't looked at the submissions thread since I think the Champion and Assassin were first posted so any similarities between mine and the other I see referenced above are pure synchronicity.

Thanks and looking forward to any feedback!

Edit: And now having posted mine I looked at the earlier submission and wow was there some parallel thinking.

Note to that other offer. That 1st level feature just EATS Ki for just not a lot of return.

[Twelvetrees]

Spoiler: Assassin, Revised

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Assassinate - Really powerful, but better than the original. Question, is a surprise round considered the first round of combat or can you crit in the surprise round and the next round automatically?

Exfiltration Expertise - In the right team this would be incredible. Nice to see more team abilities on a rogue.

Death Strike - Good, strong capstone.

This is a killer, killer class for multiclassing. A Half-Orc assassin 3/Gloomstalker 3/Fighter 11 would get 4 attacks. Each attack doing 6d8 + dex (27x4 + 5x4 + 14 = 108 + 20 + 14 + 8 = 152). Then for good measure we action surge to do an additional 152 damage. Since you are attacking at advantage, there is a good chance you will hit everything and mess the world up on that first round. However, that requires you to be level 17 to make it work, so you should have godlike powers at that point.

The numbers are
1d8 weapon
1d8 Gloomstalker damage
1d8 Half-Orc Savage Critical
+5 Dex
+2 for dueling fighting style
2d6 Sneak attack
3 attacks from fighter, 1 bonus from gloomstalker
(there may be a mistake here, but it's interesting running the numbers).

Thanks for the review! There really isn't a surprise round in 5e, so you only auto-crit on the first round of a fight, regardless of whether creatures are surprised. Surprise is weird.

I changed the wording around on Assassinate a little to cut down on the multiclassing shenanigans. It now only applies to the first attack that hits.

RE: Champion

*Snip*

Blind Fighting SFS changed from advantage to +2 to attack rolls on targets you are relying on blindsight to see. Still up in the air about options for this one.

Interception SFS changed to resistance til the start of the target's turn rather than the fighter's turn to reduce reliance on a lucky initiative order.

Thrown Weapon SFS changed to +1 damage die on a crit as well as double the range - again not set in stone.

Blind Fighting still has the same problem - it still incentivizes you to voluntarily blind yourself. I'd suggest considering something like expanding the range of your blindsight or giving you a limited capability to use truesight.

Interception doesn't quite work yet either. Ideally, the resistance would last until the same turn on the next round. The wording needs some work, but "the creature you reduce damage to gains resistance to all damage until the same point in the initiative in the following round," would grant resistance for a full round instead of a partial round.

Thrown Weapon Fighting now closely resembles the barbarian's Brutal Critical feature, which has perhaps rightfully been pointed out to be rather weak. I think you'd have room for another minor benefit in here. My tongue-in-cheek suggestions would be a boomerang effect or a hammerspace effect so you never run out of thrown weapons.






Edit: Another review!

Spoiler: Beastmaster

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Beastmaster Spells
The only one of these that seems out of place to me is scrying - how did you envision this fitting the theme of a master of animals? I would have expected something like awaken or maybe insect plague.

I realize that magic fang is a version of magic weapon for a beast's attacks instead and that is why the At Higher Levels section references casting it using a spell slot of 6th level or higher. It still feels odd for a ranger-specific spell because a pure ranger could never cast it at that level.

Animal Companion
Why the specific list?

Their hit points need to increase faster if they're supposed to survive at higher levels. A pony or wolf with six additional hit dice will only have 33 hit points. A raven will have 10. The official Beast Master would at least give them 68 for a 17th level ranger.

Alternative Animal Companions
Why aren't these options all at the same CR for the same level? There are a few clear options that are better than all the rest at each level and it corresponds with CR.

Feral Spirit
This favors beasts with Multiattack options. Would you be willing to consider a damage bump to a single attack of the beast's that hits? It would still favor beasts with more than one attack, but it wouldn't make them the go-to option at this level.

Shared Life
Way cool! Did this take inspiration from 4e's Beastlord epic destiny feature of the same name?

[Old Harry MTX]

Thankyou for your feedbacks!

Martial Magic - Ouch, this is a pretty rough de-buff. So, I will be watching to see if you make up for it. Losing the ability to throw out a firebolt is painful on a strength based fighter.

Yes, but consider that you only reduce the range of spells, not their area of effect. That's why I added Battle Surge at 7th level, allowing you to use aoe spells protecting yourself and your allies from the effects.

Spells Known of 1st Level and Higher - I really, really like the addition of attack spells. I always found the 2 schools to be overly restrictive and this fits into the idea of a martial based attack very well.

Spellcasting Focus - I like this as well, you are a martial and you should be able to handle magic with martial items.

Thanks!

Weapon Bond - "if the target is within either the original spell's range and the range of the weapon." since above you removed the distance ability on spells you really don't need this. All spells are touch spells, so you can remove it.

Originally it simply said "if the target is in range", allowing the use of weapons with the reach property. Then tzurk make me notice that this subclass could be a nice alternative to the Arcane Archer too, so I changed this in "if the target is withing either the ORIGINAL spell's range (so, before it's reduced to touch) and the range of the weapon (that could also be a ranged one)". This way you can apply this feature with ranged weapons too, even if the class isn't originally meant to do that.

I do se an issue with the attacks when you cast a spell. At level 5, you could cast BB/GFB for 1 attack and rider damage, then you can make 2 more weapon attacks. That is a lot of damage. This ability needs to be limited somehow, either by making it levelled spells or only X amount of times per day.

Mmm, i don't get your point here. Actually, you can't use BB/GFB with Weapon Bond, since they have a weapon attack, not a SPELL attack ROLL. Also, Weapon Bond doesn't add more attacks to a spell, simply lets you convert spell attack rolls in a certain number of weapon attacks. If the spell have only one spell attack roll, you can make only one weapon attack, even if you can make more of them in a normal attack action! ^^

Eldritch Flurry - "If the cantrip has effects other than just dealing damage and you target the same creature more than once, only the first can inflict those effects" it doesn't hurt to spell this out, but that is standard rules.

Mmm, I'm not completely sure about that. Even if the feature says to consider the cast of these cantrips as a single spell, it still says that you cast the cantrip two times (and then three and four), so I prefer to avoid any doubts ^^

I think like the idea behind this. You are a martial character and you are using magic to aid in your ability to do damage to others. There are some interesting combination that I am not completely sure about though. I would love to see the weapon bond and Eldritch Strike a little more clear in your intent for them.

I'm testing these features since about two years now, in the original class, and I have to admit that they work very well! ^^

The wording actually should cover all the exceptions, maybe I have to add some example?

Anyway, thanks again for your precious feedbacks!

[nickl_2000]

Thanks for the review!

Comparing with the standard Alchemist, losing healing word, death ward, and raise dead hurts. Polymorph and enhance ability do some work to make up for their loss and Tasha's caustic brew fits an alchemist well thematically.

I tried to balance the good and the bad here, but in general focus more on modification of people and elemental effects verses healing.

You also run into the Battle Master problem when picking mixes at higher levels - you're choosing from the same list and picking options that were your third, fourth, and fifth picks when you initially got the feature. I'd consider letting your picks at higher levels give you better options, in a similar fashion to some warlock invocations being level gated.

An interesting idea, I will consider it. Level gating would make some mixes clearly superior than others, but it does open it up for more power and more difference between this and the battlemaster. I will consider re-jiggering it.

Given the requirements for spells that can be imbued into potions, this is the full list of spells that are eligible: Alter Self (C), Blink, Blur (C), Disguise Self, Expeditious Retreat (C), False Life, See Invisibility, Ashardalon's Stride (C), and Kinetic Jaunt (C).

According to my own research you get:
Alter Self, Ashardalon's Stride, Blink, Blur, Cure Wounds, Darkvision, Detect Magic, Disguise Else, Enhance Ability, Expeditious Retreat, False Life, Fly, Freedom of Movement, Greater Restoration, Invisibility, Jump, Lesser Restoration, Longstrider, Protection from Energy, Protection from Poison, Revivify, See Invisibility, Skill Empowerment, Spider Climb, and Stone skin.

The goal of this is to give buffs out to allies that don't require concentration. Something like Stone Skin is very powerful, but its still costly. A potion of Darkvision is great to have sitting around after you made it during downtime, to help out allies who can't see well. Seeing this list, does it make a difference? It also gives you more flexibility since you can make a potion of lesser/greater restoration and then you don't need to have it prepared.

I actually want the artificer to be creating these potions at the end of the night and during off time. The goal here is that you are preparing beforehand to have potions available, but you are limited on spells by your proficiency modifier. Give that this is the case, do you think I could increase this?

I'd been hoping for an expansion of the Replicate Magic Item infusion to include potions when I read the title of the feature, so this ends up feeling like a little bit of a let-down.

That's an interesting option. I will look at the potions again and see if it would be incredibly broken to be able to replicate them (some of those are really, really powerful)

Alchemy Mastery
I'm disappointed by this capstone. The official option's greatest strength comes from giving you two free spells, both of which are quite good. Switching that out for not having to prepare the spells you stuff into your potions and being able to make potions faster feels like a poor trade, especially because this comes after you've gained Spell-Storing Item. Even if you can create a potion faster, I'm hard pressed to think of a situation where you'd want to spend your action to create one and have a friend spend their action to drink it.

That's legit. What if I got rid of the ability to make them quicker and instead gave the ability to infusion potions and another free infusion known and made? You are at level 15 at this point, so there is less of a concern of the overall power of potions.

[Twelvetrees]

An interesting idea, I will consider it. Level gating would make some mixes clearly superior than others, but it does open it up for more power and more difference between this and the battlemaster. I will consider re-jiggering it.

You don't necessarily have to make them more powerful, either, as long as the higher level options are different. Being able to throw a mix to create an area-of-effect of damage, to create a piece of solid terrain (like a wall or tree), or to heal an ally would all be different enough to be intriguing.

According to my own research you get:
Alter Self, Ashardalon's Stride, Blink, Blur, Cure Wounds, Darkvision, Detect Magic, Disguise Else, Enhance Ability, Expeditious Retreat, False Life, Fly, Freedom of Movement, Greater Restoration, Invisibility, Jump, Lesser Restoration, Longstrider, Protection from Energy, Protection from Poison, Revivify, See Invisibility, Skill Empowerment, Spider Climb, and Stone skin.

I don't think I understand how you got your list. Your third bullet point for eligible spells says this:

• The target is Self without a range or touch on a creature

Detect Magic has a target of Self, but I interpreted being able to sense magic within 30 feet as giving it a range. The other spells my list was missing all have a range of Touch instead of Self. Can you reword the third bullet point to make it more clear what spells are supposed to be eligible?

The goal of this is to give buffs out to allies that don't require concentration.

I actually want the artificer to be creating these potions at the end of the night and during off time.

Ah, here we go. This is what I was missing.

Given this design intent, my advice would be to reword this feature to make it so you prepare these potions as part of a long rest. I'd also suggest removing the requirement to spend a spell slot and limit it completely through proficiency bonus. If you want to make it really, explicitly clear that this should be used on concentration spells, you could consider adding a bullet point to the eligibility requirements to make this feature only work for concentration spells.

That's legit. What if I got rid of the ability to make them quicker and instead gave the ability to infusion potions and another free infusion known and made? You are at level 15 at this point, so there is less of a concern of the overall power of potions.

That sounds like an awesome idea to me!

[nickl_2000]

You don't necessarily have to make them more powerful, either, as long as the higher level options are different. Being able to throw a mix to create an area-of-effect of damage, to create a piece of solid terrain (like a wall or tree), or to heal an ally would all be different enough to be intriguing.

I don't think I understand how you got your list. Your third bullet point for eligible spells says this:



Detect Magic has a target of Self, but I interpreted being able to sense magic within 30 feet as giving it a range. The other spells my list was missing all have a range of Touch instead of Self. Can you reword the third bullet point to make it more clear what spells are supposed to be eligible?

Ah, here we go. This is what I was missing.

Given this design intent, my advice would be to reword this feature to make it so you prepare these potions as part of a long rest. I'd also suggest removing the requirement to spend a spell slot and limit it completely through proficiency bonus. If you want to make it really, explicitly clear that this should be used on concentration spells, you could consider adding a bullet point to the eligibility requirements to make this feature only work for concentration spells.

That sounds like an awesome idea to me!

Thanks again!

Hopefully I've got it this time :)

At level 5, you can use your alchemist's tools to brew magical potions during a long rest. If there is a costly component consumed to cast the spell it is consumed during the creation of the potion, and if there is a costly component to cast the spell, but is not consumed, you must have the component available when making the potion.

You may only have alchemical potions created where the combined spell levels of the spells equals your proficiency modifier (for a +3 mod, you may have 3 level 1 spells, 1 level 1 and 1 level 2, or 1 level 3 spell).

Eligible spells that can be imbued into potions have the following characteristics
Alchemist spells you know
Spells that require an action or a bonus action to cast (i.e. not reaction or casting time of over 1 round).
Spells where the target is Self (without range) or Spells where the target is touch on a single creature.

The duration of the effect of the potion is the same as the spell, but it doesn’t require concentration to keep the effect active. The creature that drinks the potion is the target of the effect of the spell. If there is a save DC from the spell imbued into the potion, it uses your Artificer DC.

I also re-wrote the alchemical mixes to be effects rather than most damage and have it get better at level 15. If you don't mind taking a look I would love your opinion.

[ShiningStarling]

Welcome to the contest, always happy to see more people joining int
Wild Magic Surge - I like the fact that you can trigger it, and that by upcasting you get at least a little bit more control. Can this be twinned? I would guess not since it isn't a single target spell.

Roll with the Tides - I like the risk here. You could potentially do some serious damage or spend a lot of time as a plant :)

Overall I like it. One of the main complaints I've heard from Wild Magic Sorcerer is that it doesn't trigger often enough. You have done a great job of taking care of that. I really like it!

Thanks! Didn't consider twinning, but text says that to twin a spell the spell must be incapable of targeting more than one creature, and it definitely has that capability, so that would be a no.

Glad you liked it! I'm happy with it as well. I'll give some of the other entries a read in a few days maybe, see if I gots any feedback for anybody.

[nickl_2000]

One more review

Spoiler: Way of the Sun Soul - BerzerkerUnit

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Illuminating Wisdom - Fitting, useful, but overall not changing the PCs power. A good addition.

Sky-Crossing Step - This feels a little early for flight abilities to me. Most subclasses push this until a little later if I recall correctly (although my pre-coffee brain may be making a mistake here). I do realize that the fly spell is available to multiple classes at this point, but at the cost of one of their few level 3 spells and concentration. Whereas this is non-concentration and doesn't use other resources.

Sunset Soul Explosion - I can't decide if this is fine the way it is or if it needs a ki cost. I'm going back and forth on it. The damage is low for 11th level (2d8 without spending more ki), but the area of effect is quite large without there being an additional cost. It's probably fine the way it is now that I think about it more, but it would be worth watching in a game to see how it plays out.

Glorious Heliocentric Countenance - How long does this last?
"Creatures within 10 feet of you that hit" that you hit with what? A radiant bolt, the explosion, melee? Or is the intent that it's anything you do damage to?
The blinded status on this for anyone you do damage to feels to powerful, even with the short period and the save. Considering how many people you can hit with the Soul Explosion you can blind half and army each turn.

Overall I like it, there is are a lot of really good things going on here

[BerzerkerUnit]

One more review

Spoiler: Way of the Sun Soul - BerzerkerUnit

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Illuminating Wisdom - Fitting, useful, but overall not changing the PCs power. A good addition.

Sky-Crossing Step - This feels a little early for flight abilities to me. Most subclasses push this until a little later if I recall correctly (although my pre-coffee brain may be making a mistake here). I do realize that the fly spell is available to multiple classes at this point, but at the cost of one of their few level 3 spells and concentration. Whereas this is non-concentration and doesn't use other resources.

Sunset Soul Explosion - I can't decide if this is fine the way it is or if it needs a ki cost. I'm going back and forth on it. The damage is low for 11th level (2d8 without spending more ki), but the area of effect is quite large without there being an additional cost. It's probably fine the way it is now that I think about it more, but it would be worth watching in a game to see how it plays out.

Glorious Heliocentric Countenance - How long does this last?
"Creatures within 10 feet of you that hit" that you hit with what? A radiant bolt, the explosion, melee? Or is the intent that it's anything you do damage to?
The blinded status on this for anyone you do damage to feels to powerful, even with the short period and the save. Considering how many people you can hit with the Soul Explosion you can blind half and army each turn.

Overall I like it, there is are a lot of really good things going on here

Thanks so much for feedback!

Sky-Crossing Step is an explicitly worse version of the Genie Warlock feature at the same level.

Sunset Soul mirrors the extant 2d6 version but grants better scaling.

Heliocentric Countenance triggers when you are hit by a creature w/in 10 feet and lasts 1 minute. (Modified text for duration).

Hope that helps you evaluate.

Thanks again!

[Twelvetrees]

If you don't mind taking a look I would love your opinion.

Taking another pass.

Spoiler: Alchemist

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Alchemical mixes

Adding proficiency with throwing holy water was a nice touch.

Alchemical Mixes
You also gain a special alchemical bag that you can use to mix reagents on the fly and create deadly concoctions. As a bonus action on your turn, you may reach into your alchemical bag, pull out a vial, and throw it. You can throw these potions at any space you can see within 60 feet. You are also proficient with throwing acid, holy water, and alchemist's fire. You learn additional mixes at levels 5, 9, and 15.

It would be good to have "mix" or "mixes" in the bold and italicized spots instead so that it is clear you are talking about the same mechanic.

Where did the information on how many mixes you know go?

Mix Options
Healing Balm should probably say "regains" instead of "gains"

Weakening Draft can lead to some nonsensical outcomes, like suddenly allowing you to grapple a ghost or petrify a stone golem. I'd swap this out for something else.

I'd also give this section another editing pass. You've got some grammar/spelling issues sprinkled here and there amongst the options.


Create Potions
This is much more clear now and hews close to your design intent!


Alchemy Mastery
Oh yes, this is good.

Can you explain the lack of climbing, diminution, invisibility, resistance, and any of the healing options from the list of potions? I would have expected to see them included.

[MoleMage]

Before I get into individual responses, I did a little bit of rough math on Frenzy, using a greataxe and assuming point buy (Str 17 at level 1 w/racial bonus) with Strength boosted at levels 8, 12, and 16 (4 is to get GWM).

• Level 3: 1d12 (axe) + 2d12 (Frenzy) + 3 (Str) + 2 (Rage): 25.5 damage average. This is roughly equal to the damage accrued over 13 rage attacks (no extra attack). Frenzy's damage output is higher than the Rage that it consumes (but you lose the other benefits of the rage).
• Level 5: 1d12 (axe) + 2d12 (Frenzy) + 3 (Str) + 2 (Rage) + 10 (GWM): 35.5 damage average. It now takes 18 rage attacks to accrue a similar amount of damage. With Extra Attack, that's 9 rounds worth of rage. The Rage could perform higher if it lasts to the full ten rounds, but most combats don't last that long.
• Level 9: 1d12 (axe) + 3d12 (Frenzy) + 4 (Str) + 3 (Rage) + 10 (GWM): 42 damage average. Equal to 14 rage attacks, or 7 rounds of rage. The situations where Rage outstrips Frenzy are rare but feasible. On the other hand, those situations tend to be exactly when you want to nova (big enemies, long fights).
• Level 15: 1d12 (axe) + 4d12 (Frenzy) + 5 (Str) + 4 (Rage) + 10 (GWM): 48.5 damage average. Roughly matches to 12 rage attacks, or 6 rounds of rage. Fights are longer at higher levels, so saving your Rages for the resistance is probably worth it considering your damage throughout the day will be similar.

So it looks like my version of Frenzy is most potent at lower levels, especially before extra attack, eventually becoming roughly equal for damage only. I have a few ideas how to improve this and will update accordingly.

Have a quick review:

Spoiler: Path of the Berserker Revised

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Overall, I think this is very well made and that it achieves your aims excellently. I might actually offer this to my players instead of original berserker tbh.

Wakened Fury
A rage equivalent of Arcane/Natural Recovery is pretty sweet, especially useful as rage is also a nova resources thanks to frenzy

Frenzy
I'd do some maths for this, but it'd be completely arbitrary and with no real baseline, so I'm just gonna judge this without and leave the maths to someone more experienced.
I like this, its a lot of damage but its not like you can just do this every turn. I really like having to expend uses of rage to do it as it provides an alternative sacrifice to gaining exhaustion, as per your intentions.

Mindless Rage
Not much to say here really, it was a decent feature in the original berserker, its a decent feature here.

Indomitable
A useful addition as I always thought that level 10 for the original berserker was really bad, so even if you have fixed Intimidating Presence with Intimidation Stance, this is still a welcome addition. I'm a bit curious as to why you can have your speed reduced by an amount but not to an amount. May I ask why? Having just read the examples for the ways your speed can be reduced, I think I get it, but I'd still like to hear the thought process behind it anyways.

Intimidation Stance
The original berserker's Intimidating Presence but as a bonus action and with different DC. The bonus action makes sense as you're gonna be attacking with your actions as a barbarian. The DC calculation is cool, but raises the question: can you use this on a creature you haven't hit yet?

Retaliation
I approve of adding the option to Intimidation Stance (and love the flavour for it), but I'm not sure about replacing the basic attack with Frenzy as you could've run out of uses. What about offering a basic attack as an alternative option to Frenzy or Intimidation Stance?

Spoiler

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See Frenzy maths at the top of the sheet. I'll make an edit here in the next week or so with my final decision.

As for Indomitable (Soon to be renamed to Juggernaut), I mostly had to word it that way because I didn't want to make the barbarian effectively immune to Restrain and Grapple. The second clause as far as I could tell was specifically only Slow, and I may just remove that and leave the first clause.

Implicitly, the DC for the Intimidation is 8 unless you have damaged them with an attack. Most things you'll encounter at level 10 will shrug off a DC 8 Wis save like water off a duck. I'll reword this to make this explicit.

I'll do something with Retaliation, but it will depend on how I decide to fix Frenzy. Possibly it will just be an ordinary attack again (or maybe an attack without ability bonuses like non-fighting style dual wield).

1st round of feedback, starting from the bottom up -

MoleMage's Berserker

Wakened Fury - good looking mechanic, for ease of reading should it come below Frenzy?

Frenzy - a fun way to reimagine the original feature - BIG damage barb, woo! Do I just lose my spent rage if I miss? That sucks. Could you instead only lose it if you make the hit? (is 2d12 enough damage to spend a whole rage on?)

Mindless Rage - all goods

Indomitable - just for defense against being grappled by medium/small creatures, not for offense in grappling dragons? If you end your turn and you are stunned - does this still consume a use of rage (precious resource for this barb)? Tricky wording for the second paragraph but it's all clear.

Intimidation Stance - another option to weaponise BA for when you dont want to frenzy. What's the DC if you have never hit them? How do I remember the damage if I hit them three rounds ago and then got pushed into another baddie?

Retaliation - this is an interesting way to eke some extra use out of your subclass features, but I think I prefer the original version of just giving a "free" reaction attack for being hit just for its consistency - doubling up on Frenzy could potentially make for some fun nova turns at the cost of an expensive resource (7 rages per day at this point including the 2 you get back from Wakened Fury), and frightened is a super powerful condition if you've got casters or a BM or something in your party to force some saving throws at disadv. Having said that I don't necessarily think it's OP, just different.

Spoiler

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See the math at the top of this post for the value of the Frenzy relative to using the Rage by itself. Short version, I'm buffing Frenzy in some way to make it more usable without being too much nova.

Indomitable: The grapple effect is just for defense, yes. I intended this at the time but no longer remember why (possibly because I didn't want to give this subclass more offensive options alongside Intimidation Stance.)

The DC is 8 until you deal damage to a given target. As for remembering the damage, that's up to each player. I may rewrite this to be the damage of the last attack on anything instead of the last attack on the target, but I think I could probably keep track on scrap paper or the margins of my sheet unless combats got really big.

Retaliation may be getting the ordinary attack back. I'm gonna give it another read.

A couple reviews!

Spoiler: Path of the Berserker Revised

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Goals
I appreciate this section. It makes it really easy to see what you’re trying to do here.

Wakened Fury
More rages/frenzies. Okay, I can get behind that. Definitely starts to have an impact on longer adventuring days, but doesn’t do much until then.

Frenzy
Ohhhh, this is why Wakened Fury matters. This seems underpowered, especially when comparing with a Zealot’s Divine Fury or a Paladin’s Divine Smite. Its damage has a bigger spike, but its resource pool is much more limited.
Being able to use more rages is an intriguing mechanic, but I fear it’ll end up hurting a barbarian player more if they blow through all their rages in a single fight than a paladin doing the same thing with smites. So many of a barbarian’s features are based around being in a rage that they’re really quite lackluster if they’re tapped.
Is there another resource pool this ability could be tied to? Hit Dice or something? This feature fits really well with your stated design goals, but spending rages to power it feels like too high a cost.

Mindless Rage
No changes I can see here.

Indomitable
Yes. Yes, please, this is cool. My only complaint is that this uses the exact same name as the fighter feature.

Intimidation Stance
Interesting method of generating the save DC. I actually prefer Intimidating Presence to this, if only because it isn’t tied to rage and allows players to embody the stereotypical scary barbarian in situations outside of fights.

Retaliation
Being able to use Intimidation Stance with this absolutely rocks. Having to use Frenzy instead of being able to make a normal attack doesn’t – in fact, it exacerbates the problem of how quickly you can burn through rages. Once you’re out, this feature does nothing, which feels bad.


Overall Impression
I really wish I was more enthusiastic about this, but consuming rages to power your primary feature hurts, especially since having no rages left turns off every other feature from this subclass. I’d struggle to decide between playing this version of the Berserker and the standard version, given the choice.

Spoiler

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I'm looking at alternate ways to fuel Frenzy, because the damage math comes out pretty good (see top of post) but not so much as to be worth the loss of the other perks of rage.

I'm changing Indomitable to Juggernaut, and I'm removing the "percent slow" clause (the rest is staying the same).

I'm not a fan of having to burn the action to maybe scare one guy, especially on the supposed "hitting things" barbarian. I'm gonna take another look at this feature to try and make it fit both the "not using a whole turn" (new) and "being useful at more than fighting" (old) pros.

Retaliation is getting another look to fix the problem with limited Frenzy/Rages. I don't want to just make it attacks all the time but I'll give it something.

Time for reviews

Spoiler: Barbarian Path of the Berserker Revised

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Being done to death just means that it really needs a re-write

Wakened Fury - This is really core, I don't see why this isn't a core feature on all barbarians. So many abilities trigger off of rage, when they run out of them they are just boring.

Frenzy - My first thought on this is what it was to powerful when seeing the damage, but after looking more carefully, I wonder if it's a little weak. You get a decent amount of extra damage, but the resource cost is really, really in using up a Rage. I wouldn't mind seeing something here were you get a certain amount of uses (maybe your Con Mod) then once you have used those it you can use a rage to do it additional times.

Mindless Rage - For many classes I would say meh to this, but on a barbarian it's really powerful and useful. I like it a lot.

Indomitable - I wouldn't mind this having a different name than the fighter ability. A 10/10 Barb/fighter is possible, but since it has the same name you only get whichever one you see first.

Intimidation Stance - At will seems a little much for this. I wouldn't mind some limiter, even it's a high one (prof mod times per short rest even).

Retaliation - If using intimidation stance, does it still have a max of 21? Also, how does it work with reduced damage?

Spoiler

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Yeah the first four classes here were the poster children for "how did this make the PHB", so I guess I can't feel too bad that I am one of those four.

I'm looking at alternate Frenzy resource options. Haven't settled on one yet. You can see the math at the top of the page but mostly it comes out to "equal, if you only think of rage as a damage feature" (which is the opposite of true). Definitely needs a buff.

Mindless Rage was unaltered from the original. It seemed about right.

I'm going to rename Indomitable to Juggernaut, so you will be able to get both features.

The current version of Intimidation Stance is going to change in some way, but I don't know that it will become use-limited. The baseline Berserker gets a ranged version of this as an action and with no rage requirement. That said, the whole reason I'm here is that the baseline Berserker is bad, so maybe I shouldn't use that as a justification for including this feature.

The restrictions on Retaliation's Intimidation Stance would be the same as those on the base feature. As for reduced damage, it's so rare in core that I forgot about it. I'll fix the wording. Retaliation needs an overall rewrite anyway.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I'm gonna post my response feedback on everyone else all at once after I spend the next couple days reading the entries and editing the Berserker.

[tzurk]

Thanks Twelvetrees for pointing out the non-fix status of my temporary fixes!

I've had another pass at some problem areas:

- Interception SFS now grants resistance to just the triggering damage, and then grants the fighter advantage on the next attack they make against the attacking creature. Found it too finicky to word otherwise.

- Blind Fighting SFS increases radius to 20 feet and grants 5 feet (should it be 10?) of truesight for a turn after hitting a creature with a weapon attack. Should truesight be centred on the target of the attack for archers? The whole fighting style really lends itself more to melee though... not sure.

- Thrown Weapon SFS gives a 1/turn additional die rather than waiting around for crits.

Thanks also nickl_2000 for taking a look!

- edited the examples of signature weapon to include both longsword and greatsword to stop a player thinking "I choose swords" to be an acceptable choice

- Brutish and Sweeping weapon have damage types tied to the weapon now instead of being bludgeoning/slashing

- I agree Archery FS + True Weapon is a tempting combo for a min maxer, but I'm honestly not too worried about it being over the top. Maybe I should be, but I think that Archery + SS/XBE is tried and true at this point and there's a lot of different ways to grab boosts for it if players want to - Forge Cleric/Artificer dips or party members, Bless, etc. Maybe I could limit it by saying it only applies to non-magical weapons, so no turning a +1 weapon into a +2 weapon, but I also like that it's an option there for a total beginner who thinks "I'm not too sure how these other things work, so I'll just grab that one" - and that it can then grow with them as they get their hands on cool magical weapons.

Cheers again for the feedback. I will try and take a look at the classes I haven't yet and any revisions over the next few days. Happy Easter my dudes!

oops, almost forgot - @MoleMage - it was interesting to see the math for your version of Frenzy and how it stacks up vs rage - thanks for putting that out there! My main worry is that your Frenzy attack has the opportunity to miss and do 0 damage and you've already spent the rage to get the BA attack. Tying it to a successful hit rather than an attack roll eases that issue, even if it's a bit boring - but a spitball idea for solutions if you're looking.

Or - another thought - could you remove the hit roll entirely and use a BA to expend a rage automatically do X damage to a target you've just hit with a weapon attack? Keep the dice, or make it static like 3 or 4 x barb level? mmmmaaayybeeee.

One more time - maybe save for half instead of auto damage? Maybe that's all the original feature needs - a bit of a safety net. "if you miss with this attack, the target takes half the damage it would have from a successful hit."

Anyway - excited to see what you do with it!

[MoleMage]

Feedback for everyone! It only took me a week to get to it!

Spoiler: Beastmaster Ranger

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One of the most iconic D&D features is the animal companion and the fact that it was relegated to one unloved subclass...you're doing good works here.

• Reintroducing Magic Fang goes miles towards making this class better; even if you lose the level seven default magic on Animal Companion.
• The Animal Companion options are wildly different in power level from one another. Even with the new vipers; the Medium one is better across the board than the small one (Same stats, same AC, same speed, but the Medium's HP are three times the Small and its attack does an extra 1.5 damage on average.) Badgers are pretty weak, only having a +2 melee for 1 piercing, while a wolf gets 2d4 + 2 piercing on a +4 attack and also has Keen Hearing and Smell plus Pact Tactics. This is not really an innate problem of your class but giving the animal companion adjustments something to compensate for weaker animals might be good.
• Animal Companion Adjustments:
  
  
  
  

  • Does the animal companion get any proficiency bonus effects? For example, if you have an eagle, does its perception improve with level even though it doesn't get increases to wisdom from Ability Score Increase? This matters for some Orders (especially Seek for Perception and Work, which will possibly involve Athletics).
  • Link has ambiguous wording. Does the animal obey a command until another command is given? Does the animal companion roll its own initiative, and what does the ranger do if their companion acts before them in combat?

  
  

  
  

  • Down should probably indicate that the animal will use the Disengage action if appropriate.
  • Defend and Guard should specify what an animal's typical actions would be in those circumstances (when Defending do they try to get in the way, attack the defended target's attackers, use the Protection fighting style? With Guard do they attack first and growl later or will they try to guard an area with threat displays first? Or does the Ranger train them as they prefer?
  • Seek should probably specify whether and how the animal reports its results. Can you order it to return to you after seeking or does it just act as a pointer?
• Natural Weaponry is not the direction I expected this to go, but I think as a feature it's fine. Might want to give it special interactions with the fighting styles Rangers get (Two-Weapon especially). I'd estimate that an increase in each die's size would be fine too; rangers already get better options for weapons.
• Feral Spirit is pretty polarized towards animals with deep multiattacks. When it's first gained there isn't really an option to get that, but at level 15 a ranger could have either a level 3 companion (Wolf, say) with two attacks or pick up a Leopard and have up to four attacks in a round. A once per round bonus with a higher value could compensate (like sneak attack but probably not that intense).
• Shared life is a pretty cool. What happens if you get healing while you've already failed three death saving throws? I would also suggest that damage dealt to one of them while at 3 failed death saves is instead dealt to the other one. If someone is trying to coup-de-grace a ranger on the ground and his animal companion is just chilling in the sky it's gonna be a little weird for the DM to be like "well this isn't working, now he draws his bow and fires on your hawk instead".

I think it's got the right outline, overall (though I don't know about Natural Weaponry at 7th level). But I think on the whole it comes out a little bit weak, possibly even a little bit weaker than the baseline Beast Master.

Spoiler: Four (Actually 6) Elements

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• Elemental Initiate should have been baseline in OG monk; making it cost one of your limited slots was crazy.
• The ki->spell conversion here is much more reasonable than the original one. Easier to remember too. I believe you mentioned in a previous comment that none of the spells listed have expensive components so I'll skip past the ignoring material components step.
• I like the inclusion of non-western elements here. I could see myself filling in other slots depending on my setting.
• Elemental Strike: I feel like Force is an odd pick for Metal; but I can't think of something better for Earth to make it make sense (can't just do Earth: Bludgeoning because that's already what unarmed attacks deal).
• Elemental Flurry is a great feature but I agree with moving it to this late in the class.
• Does casting Elemental Avatar consume ki points like normal attunement spellcasting?

I think it's a solid improvement without adding complexity (in fact it removes quite a bit of it). Interested to see the final versions of Metal and Wood.

Spoiler: Berserker

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Wait this is me.

Spoiler: Champion

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Focusing on weapon fighting styles as a Fighter subclass is a great idea. The Champion was pretty bland; this will let you increase their interest without losing their "a whole bunch of passive increases" status.

• I can definitely see myself picking different Signature Weapons at different times, but I feel like I'm usually going to be camping on GWF/Reliable or Archery/True depending on my first fighting style I chose.
• Letting Remarkable Athlete improve trained skills too makes good sense. The climbing and swimming speed are pretty solid but not game breaking. An alternative would be to say "The distance you climb or swim when you make an ability check is doubled, up to a maximum of your walking speed.", letting the player use their Remarkable Athlete active feature more often. Might be too narrow though.

• Archery Expert definitely makes me want to use a bow all the time. Crossbow Expert, Heavy Crossbow: True Weapon, and Archery Expert gives me a +3 to attack rolls and a +1 to damage that I get to maximize for free once per turn on a 1d10. On top of which, I have the best range a weapon can have while simultaneously suffering no penalties for attacking adjacent foes.
• Why does Dueling make the requirements more restrictive than baseline dueling? I guess -1 AC for 10 foot move speed is a pretty fair tradeoff but most of the other styles give straight benefits.
• Two Weapon Fighting Expert is pretty nice. Goes a lot of the way toward making Dual Wielding viable. I would maybe add a function to it that lets you swap in off-hand attacks during your Extra Attack so it's a little bit easier to trigger (right now it's basically conditional on your single bonus action attack).

• Force of Will and Survivor are pretty cool, no complaints.

I think this subclass could do with some number crunching, but overall it seems good. Seems fun, even the options that I know aren't as mathematically good I would want to experiment with. It would be cool if eventually they got a second Signature Weapon with the caveat that both the type of weapon and the ability chosen must be different from the first weapon. Right now I'm inclined to pick "safe" options because I don't know what kind of fight I'm up against. Defensive, Distracting, and Sweeping are best suited to certain situations (Defensive maybe less so) so I'm not likely to pick them unless I already know what the day holds when I finish my long rest. But if I got a backup Signature Weapon I could pick one of the "all-around" options (like Glaive: Sweeping as my backup to Maul:Reliable).

Spoiler: Soulknife

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Been a while since we had a variant subclass that fit under multiple classes. It's a design space that I'm surprised official content hasn't experimented with more (I know we had one UA that used it for Arcane Magic but they abandoned it pretty fast).

• Mind Blade: I like the writing here. One quibble is that no existing Light weapon deals more than 1d6 damage. It mostly matters for the rogue and two-weapon fighter, since the monk doesn't really like to dual wield anyway (though until they hit Martial Arts 1d8 it's marginally better than making an unarmed attack). But the rogue suddenly can get the benefits of both a rapiier (damage) and a shortsword (extra attempts to sneak attack) at the same time. Probably balanced by the set-up time required for it.
• Archetypal features: All ways to mesh the Mind Blade with existing class features. Seems fine.
• With Annihilating Blade, do you get both Wis and Str/Dex to damage or does the Wis replace the Str/Dex?
• Psychic Fighting Style: Rogues are reaching the point of drooling; they can dual wield d8 weapons, have 2-weapon fighting, and not sacrifice sneak attack OR an ability score increase for dual wielder? Other than that seems reasonable, even monks have a couple options in there they can grab without feeling wasted.
• Psychic Parry looks fun, but completely negating an attack against you once per round is pretty crazy.
• Improved Mind Blade: 1d10/2d6 for a Light Weapon is too much (especially since to get this they pretty much have to go through fighter and can pick up TWF. I would say dropping Light but keeping Finesse would be reasonable.
• Psychic Bladestorm: I think in one of your edits you lost the part that specifies when you get this feature. Is it 6th subclass feature? Whenever you happen to have Soulknife from all three classes? I think it should cost Action Surge to activate also to tie it into the Fighter; it costs a Monk Resource and scales with a Rogue Feature, but Fighter is just there to provide...Extra Attack 3 if you are really high level? I guess Action Surge is a pretty attractive choice with this feature already, though, so making it cost your surge to go off is not ideal either.

I have a couple struck out bullets in here; I forgot to account for collapsing the mind blade being a bonus action when I was considering the implications of Light on the mind blade. I'm still a little skeptical but significantly less so now.

I think it covers all the important bits of the 3rd edition Soulknife while embracing the identities of all three classes it's attached to and 5e's general structure. This is pretty good, other than possibly being really min-maxable (but even then only at high levels where min-maxing usually consists of "get the Wish spell, twice if able").

Spoiler: Alchemist Artificer

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Noooo. I saw the original Artificer Alchemist and briefly worried that all of my alchemy subsystem work would be wasted until it turned out to be really...sad. Now you're going to come in here and make it good and my work will actually be wasted. (I kid, obviously).

• Alchemical Mixes should probably specify that it has a minimum number of uses (obviously anyone who manages to get zero or negative has gone horribly wrong, but it's traditional).
• Healing Balm seems to be the only Level 3 Mix that doesn't improve at level 9, is that intentional? It gets a pretty big jump at 15 in its current form.
• Quick Alchemy: Getting to use your iconic feature more often is good. I think it comes late enough that it isn't going to break anything in twain.
• Alchemy Mastery: A solid feature, but maybe not a true capstone (even if some of those potions are really good). Still, the Artificer doesn't really get subclass capstones so maybe it's in order that way.

Overall, I think this does what the alchemist needed most, which was give it more control over its main feature. It also added variety and leaned into the potion side of things, which works well in my book.

Spoiler: Eldritch Knight

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From your introduction, I think we might have different ideas about the play fantasy of the Eldritch Knight. To me, it's a mage-battler with a sword in one hand and arcane fire leaking from the other, who swings at close up foes and launches spells from their off-hand. Yours seems to be a warrior who infuses their equipment with spells. I've tried to write my feedback according to your intent, not my vision.

• Martial Magic is fine, but I'm unclear on how it affects area spells (specifically ones like Fireball where changing the range to Self means you are included in the area of effect).
  
• Spellcasting Focus works for the goal, but keep in mind that this duplicates part of War Caster. The other two bullet points of War Caster are almost certainly still worth it for this archetype though so it's not going to make the feat worthless.
  
• Sidebar: I think this is a little bit clumsy. You could probably change the wording on Martial Magic to make it a little simpler. An attempt by me that probably needs to be adjusted: "When you cast an Eldritch Knight spell that targets one or more creatures other than yourself, the range at which you can target that creature is reduced to 5 feet. When you cast an Eldritch Knight spell that affects an area, that area must be centered on you, regardless of the spell's normal range. All spell attack rolls with Eldritch Knight spells are treated as melee spell attack rolls with a reach of 5 feet. If a spell would affect sequential targets, such as Green Flame Blade, only the initial target must be within 5 feet of you. Spells that affect multiple targets simultaneously or independently, such as Searing Ray or Magic Missile, must have all targets within 5 feet of you at the time of casting."
  
• Weapon Bond: Limiting this to a melee weapon kinda makes sense, but it does lock this fighter into being only one type of fighter. The ability to cast spells while attacking is very nice, definitely something that meshes well with your design space, but letting you get your whole attack routine every time you have enough spell attacks is a little too strong (see my notes on Eldritch Flurry). Limiting this to dealing weapon damage 1/turn but allowing you to increase the weapon's damage by the level of the spell slot used to cast the spell might let you balance the two (Scorching Ray is 1 weapon attack at +2 normal damage plus the fire damage, then 2 "spell attacks" using your Strength/Dex that only deal the fire damage, instead of 2 (eventually three) full weapon attacks plus the full damage of Scorching Ray.) It also harshly limits the attractiveness of big chunk spells compared to beam spam spells.
  
• Battle Surge: The feature's name and the feature's effect don't really mesh. By the wording, you can't choose yourself for this feature, which means that area spells centered on you still harm you normally unless you are excluded in the spell description.
  
• Eldritch Flurry: Seems fine. Lets you really use Battle Surge and Weapon Bond effectively with cantrips. Might be a bit much though; using Shocking Grasp you've got the same attack routine as any other fighter subclass but with +1d8 lightning damage on every hit, and the ability to remove reactions from every target you hit. That's huge, fighters are already powerhouses for sustained damage, and since you treat those attacks as normal weapon attacks, GWF/GWM can still apply to them.
  
• Eldritch Strike: A nice way to boost saving throw spells, but it comes 7 levels after a much more potent boost to attack roll spells. That said, Saving Throw spells tend to be much more powerful on their own, which might cover some of the distance. Disadvantaging Hold Person/Monster, Blindness/Deafness, or even Slow can drastically change the course of a fight.
  
• Arcane Riposte: Other than Counterspell and Shield, what spells can trigger this? It seems pretty narrow, which is fine for an Optional feature.
  
• Improved Eldritch Strike: This is a pretty nice boost to Eldritch Strike. Getting one weapon attack in isn't going to outpace Flurry, but it lets you keep up a little better when you have 3-4 attacks per round but still want to drop a Save or Disable on an enemy.

Sorry if my feedback is a little wordy. There's a lot to cover here. All in all, I think you've well represented your "spells as psuedo-maneuvers" ideal here, but the class is simply too powerful across the board.

Spoiler: Assassin

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The old Assassin was clunky but functional. Hopefully you trimmed some of the clunk and kept some of the murder.

• Assassinate: This is a good example of trimming clunk. The old one was highly unreliable and surprised is a tricky condition that a lot of tables misuse in my experience. This one is clean and always helpful.
• I can't believe you've created an explicit "two gnomes in a trenchcoat" mechanic for this subclass. I can believe how delighted that makes me. Mechanically, I think this is fine. It's nicer than the "week to establish a false identity" option which felt more like an espionage thing than an assassination thing (not that there isn't significant overlap in the two trope-o-spheres).
• Exfiltration Expertise: The only weird thing here is that it happens passively without your input. I suggest tying this to Cunning Action or granting the rogue a reaction they can use when an ally would provoke an opportunity attack to make it feel more like the Rogue is directing their allies in how to get away. At the very least this should be limited to allies the Rogue can perceive and/or require the Rogue to be conscious (like a paladin aura). Nitpicking aside, this is a really fun feature (and the old Impostor feature once again felt very espionage and not very assassin).
• Death Strike: The new wording is identical to Assassinate's new wording, but that's still fine. Once per combat is not going to break the world in half.

Overall, this class stayed closer to its base identity and mechanics than most, which was better because you applied the grease to the squeaky wheels while leaving the good stuff intact. I feel like you stayed closer to the identity of the assassin while you were at it as well.

Spoiler: Sun Soul (Amechra)

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You took a slightly different tack with this one than the source material. I think it's internally consistent and fits well within the base class though.

• Ring the Golden Bell: I think this is a bit expensive. You might consider making the initial cost your Bonus Action or buffing the baseline effects. When I get this feature, I could easily burn all three of my ki in one round just trying to do an ordinary routine (1: Golden Bell, 2: Flurry, 3: Pick one of those attacks to deal a little extra radiant damage).
• Brushing Aside Sunbeams: A nice feature. I'd like to see a similar feature on other monk subclasses (Shadows Monk and Four Elements for example thematically fit). I'd give an alternative benefit for if you reduce the damage to zero (this could be another way to make Ring the Golden Bell more usable; "Instead of throwing the spell back when you reduce the damage to zero, you may gain the benefits of Ring the Golden Bell until the end of your next turn. You do not need to spend ki points to gain this benefit.")
• Searing Arc Sweep: An interesting variation, but I think it's worth it. I could do 3/1/1 attacks to three different creatures this way, or attack 6 different creatures in a single round, if I understand it right? Even at its best, it's not much better (nor worse) than Burning Hands, but it's more...monk.
• Step of the Sun: Interesting use of light levels for inhibiting your movement. I guess if you have Golden Bell active you pretty much can go anywhere that isn't magically dark, but hey you can do that with an actual torch too.
• Crackling Solar Aura: At this point I'd rather see a way for the monk to dump more of their now-abundant ki points than a way to conserve them. I think the reactive damage should probably require a Reaction if it's going to be always-up (or make this feature have a limited duration). Natural Sunlight is a pretty niche benefit, and it's not like monk is your only option for that at this point so I'm okay with that staying where it is.

Overall: Definitely a fun tradition. I could just as easily see this as an entirely distinct tradition from the existing Sun Soul, mechanically (as in I wouldn't be bothered if two players in the same game wanted to use the two different variations because in essence they don't fill the same role), but it still sits within the theme. My only concern is that at low levels it's hard to use the features (locking you out of basic monk features like Flurry and Stunning Strike), and at high levels (especially after Crackling Solar Aura it's almost too easy.

Spoiler: Wild Magic

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The perennial favorite of the insane and the zany. If Bugs Bunny were a subclass, it would look a lot like Wild Magic Sorcerer.

• Wild Magic Surge: The table's effects are pretty chaotic, but keeping this limited to a bonus action means that (unless you do something dumb like turn yourself into a plant) you can still at least use a cantrip if you don't get a desired result. Tides of Chaos is a big loss for low level Wild Sorcerers, as well. It also doesn't address what I consider one of the Wild Magic Sorcerer's biggest problems, which is that the DM gets to decide when your features happen.
• Roll with the Tides: Both effects of this are excellent fun. When you willingly accept the surge does that mean you roll on the table or that you choose to roll the d20? Other than that, I think the second effect should maybe be limited to 1/short rest.
• Controlled Mayhem: A slightly better variant of Controlled Chaos but with a cost. Combined with the Wild Surge spell it opens up a lot of options for a sorcerer to fish for the beneficial parts of the table.
• Unleashed: Hmm. That's a lot of resources to control your wild surges. I could now dump up to 36 points into my Wild Surge throughout a day. Especially combined with the free metamagic effect of Roll with the Tides this could get out of hand.

I don't really have an overall that isn't going to just be a repeat of what I said in the individual feature notes. I think it embraces the Wild Magic Sorcerer as it is while recreating it so it can feel more inside the player's choice.

Spoiler: Sun Soul (BerzerkerUnit)

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Seems like it's an attempt to fit the Sun Soul more cleanly into the tempo of monastic traditions that followed it? I can get behind that.

• Illuminating Wisdom: Yeah this makes sense. Neither cantrip is going to be out of hand but it seems like monks who manipulate sun energy should be able to make lights for themselves.
• Radiant Bolts: Hmm. It sure looks an awful lot like Smite (nothing wrong with it, ki points are a very different resource.) It's a little odd to see a spell attack with a close/long range but AFAIK it's not disallowed by the rules (might be a couple spells I'm forgetting the details on that actually have it already) and it's perfectly understandable.
• Sky-Crossing Step: 10 minutes is a pretty long time, but the restrictions do hold it back somewhat. Hmm. I think maybe a shorter duration or fewer uses is still necessary though.
• Sunset Soul Explosion: Why not limit this to proficiency bonus ki spent like Radiant Bolts? I'm curious why you chose to limit this to +3 instead of giving it a scaling limit like Radiant Bolts (+Proficiency). As it stands, it's slightly better baseline than the original version, but the original can scale up to 8d6 (avg 28) for 3 ki, this one is limited to 5d8 (avg 22.5) for the same cost. Later on it almost catches up when it goes to 5d10 (avg 27.5), but at that point you have the next feature in the list.
• Glorious Heliocentric Countenance: Wow. This is like a paladin-capstone level transformation. Fortunately it has enough of a cost behind it that I think it's okay to leave as-is. Only thing I would add is that you shed light. It's weird to think you go all glowy with power but don't mechanically produce any light.

Overall, I think this fits pretty well into the fantasy laid down by the original Sun Soul, and it makes a lot of the sloppier mechanics scale better to your level instead of having a sort of static cost and only scaling based on how many ki points you can afford to dump into them. The loss of Searing Arc Strike is a little sad but Sky-Crossing Step is awesome enough that I don't mind waiting to get my monk AoE a few extra levels.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Feedback for everyone! It only took me a week to get to it!

Spoiler: Sun Soul (BerzerkerUnit)

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Seems like it's an attempt to fit the Sun Soul more cleanly into the tempo of monastic traditions that followed it? I can get behind that.

• Illuminating Wisdom: Yeah this makes sense. Neither cantrip is going to be out of hand but it seems like monks who manipulate sun energy should be able to make lights for themselves.
• Radiant Bolts: Hmm. It sure looks an awful lot like Smite (nothing wrong with it, ki points are a very different resource.) It's a little odd to see a spell attack with a close/long range but AFAIK it's not disallowed by the rules (might be a couple spells I'm forgetting the details on that actually have it already) and it's perfectly understandable.
• Sky-Crossing Step: 10 minutes is a pretty long time, but the restrictions do hold it back somewhat. Hmm. I think maybe a shorter duration or fewer uses is still necessary though.
• Sunset Soul Explosion: Why not limit this to proficiency bonus ki spent like Radiant Bolts? I'm curious why you chose to limit this to +3 instead of giving it a scaling limit like Radiant Bolts (+Proficiency). As it stands, it's slightly better baseline than the original version, but the original can scale up to 8d6 (avg 28) for 3 ki, this one is limited to 5d8 (avg 22.5) for the same cost. Later on it almost catches up when it goes to 5d10 (avg 27.5), but at that point you have the next feature in the list.
• Glorious Heliocentric Countenance: Wow. This is like a paladin-capstone level transformation. Fortunately it has enough of a cost behind it that I think it's okay to leave as-is. Only thing I would add is that you shed light. It's weird to think you go all glowy with power but don't mechanically produce any light.

Overall, I think this fits pretty well into the fantasy laid down by the original Sun Soul, and it makes a lot of the sloppier mechanics scale better to your level instead of having a sort of static cost and only scaling based on how many ki points you can afford to dump into them. The loss of Searing Arc Strike is a little sad but Sky-Crossing Step is awesome enough that I don't mind waiting to get my monk AoE a few extra levels.

Aloha,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response!

I reworded Radiant Bolts to make it flashier. Spend Ki to do extra damage to a target on a hit is subtly different from increasing the damage of an attack by spending a slot on a hit. The latter is affected by Crits. The new language makes it seem more like you fire a bolt and if you hit you can send out a hail of additional weak blasts. These additional blasts don't add your stat mod.

Sky-Crossing Step is a slightly worse version of the level 6 Genie warlock feature Elemental Gift. I made it worse because the Monk's speed bonus scales it as it goes. There seems to be an attitude that because the monk gets "run up walls" at 9 or 10, they shouldn't get flight until later and that flight has to be mercilessly short or expensive. I think that's nonsense. Run up walls is an always on free boost. It's still amazing, even if you can fly for an hour a day.

Sunset Soul Explosion: I left it more limited because the base die scales and it does damage on a successful save so I was okay lowering the top end. I also didn't want to make it too cheap at 1ki per 2 dice, but also didn't want another feature that just EATS your ki.

Added light shedding to GHC. It's SSJ1, we should all know its SSJ1. Radiant Bolts upcast is the "Vegeta accomplishes nothing but creating a smokescreen for the target" trope.

[Old Harry MTX]

Thankyou for toy feedbacks!!!

From your introduction, I think we might have different ideas about the play fantasy of the Eldritch Knight. To me, it's a mage-battler with a sword in one hand and arcane fire leaking from the other, who swings at close up foes and launches spells from their off-hand. Yours seems to be a warrior who infuses their equipment with spells. I've tried to write my feedback according to your intent, not my vision.

Yes, I'm a huge fan of the martial classes, and my goal was to create some sort of 3.5 Warblade, without having to write a whole set of new maneuvers from scratch. Plus, I'm also a huge fan of those general rules that change how an entire skill set works.

Martial Magic is fine, but I'm unclear on how it affects area spells (specifically ones like Fireball where changing the range to Self means you are included in the area of effect).

Why do you say it's unclear? Nowhere is it indicated that you are not affected, so yes, you are included in the area-of-effect. ^^
This is then resolved at 7th level when you learn Battle Surge. Since the EK has very slow progression of spell slots it should create very little trouble, consider that you don't learn 2nd-level spells up to 7th level of the class, and there are very few 1st level spells with area effects.

Spellcasting Focus works for the goal, but keep in mind that this duplicates part of War Caster. The other two bullet points of War Caster are almost certainly still worth it for this archetype though so it's not going to make the feat worthless.

You're right, but I always try not to forget that feats are in fact an optional rule.

Sidebar: I think this is a little bit clumsy. You could probably change the wording on Martial Magic to make it a little simpler. An attempt by me that probably needs to be adjusted: "When you cast an Eldritch Knight spell that targets one or more creatures other than yourself, the range at which you can target that creature is reduced to 5 feet. When you cast an Eldritch Knight spell that affects an area, that area must be centered on you, regardless of the spell's normal range. All spell attack rolls with Eldritch Knight spells are treated as melee spell attack rolls with a reach of 5 feet. If a spell would affect sequential targets, such as Green Flame Blade, only the initial target must be within 5 feet of you. Spells that affect multiple targets simultaneously or independently, such as Searing Ray or Magic Missile, must have all targets within 5 feet of you at the time of casting."

In my experience with the original class I got this mechanic from, there is absolutely no need to specify all of these exceptions, since each spell specifies well what its RANGE is and what its RADIUS is, and only its range is affected by Battle Magic, similar to what the Distant Spell metamagic option does. Green Flame Blade for example, has a range of Self, so it is not altered by Battle Magic in any way.

Weapon Bond: Limiting this to a melee weapon kinda makes sense, but it does lock this fighter into being only one type of fighter.

I tried to extend the mechanic to ranged attacks as well, but I didn't like the result (probably purely for personal taste), so in the end I opted for something similar to the Battlemaster maneuvers, which are almost all applicable to melee attacks only. After all, the EK can always use a longbow with a lot of attacks, without considering those spells with a large area-of-effect, such as Minute Meteors, Gust of Wind, Color Spray, Lightning Bolt, ...

The ability to cast spells while attacking is very nice, definitely something that meshes well with your design space, but letting you get your whole attack routine every time you have enough spell attacks is a little too strong (see my notes on Eldritch Flurry). Limiting this to dealing weapon damage 1/turn but allowing you to increase the weapon's damage by the level of the spell slot used to cast the spell might let you balance the two (Scorching Ray is 1 weapon attack at +2 normal damage plus the fire damage, then 2 "spell attacks" using your Strength/Dex that only deal the fire damage, instead of 2 (eventually three) full weapon attacks plus the full damage of Scorching Ray.)

Yes, it is undoubtedly strong, considering the large number of attacks a Fighter can make at high levels, but it is not as off the scale as you might think when you compare it to a Warlock's Eldritch Blast, for example. Sure, the damage output is certainly higher, but it's also limited to melee foes only.

Also, the EK has very few spell slots so, at least until you learn Eldritch Flurry, it shuldn't be very dissimilar to a Paladin's Smite.

It also harshly limits the attractiveness of big chunk spells compared to beam spam spells.

Yes! It intentional, this subclass want to force you to look at spells froma different point of view. Glad you notice that!

Battle Surge: The feature's name and the feature's effect don't really mesh.

HAHAHAHAHA. This is a problem due to the fact that English is not my mother tongue. I wanted to express the idea that spells were "released explosively" directly from the body of the EK. I may have misunderstood the meaning of Surge, which in my language can also be translated as "wave" or "impetus". I accept gladly advices for an alternative!!! ^^

By the wording, you can't choose yourself for this feature, which means that area spells centered on you still harm you normally unless you are excluded in the spell description.

Mmm, this is weird. The text of this feature is largely taken from Sculpt Spell of the Wizard's school of Evocation, and I'm pretty sure it's meant to include the Wizard himself if he chooses so, since he can see and therefore choose himself among the creatures to apply the effects.

Am I wrong? O_o

Eldritch Flurry: Seems fine. Lets you really use Battle Surge and Weapon Bond effectively with cantrips. Might be a bit much though; using Shocking Grasp you've got the same attack routine as any other fighter subclass but with +1d8 lightning damage on every hit, and the ability to remove reactions from every target you hit. That's huge, fighters are already powerhouses for sustained damage, and since you treat those attacks as normal weapon attacks, GWF/GWM can still apply to them.

Yes, this is the strongest feature in the class, since it makes Weapon Bond virtually cost-free. If I decide to tweak the class to reduce its damage output, this is definitely the feature I'll change first.

Eldritch Strike: A nice way to boost saving throw spells, but it comes 7 levels after a much more potent boost to attack roll spells. That said, Saving Throw spells tend to be much more powerful on their own, which might cover some of the distance. Disadvantaging Hold Person/Monster, Blindness/Deafness, or even Slow can drastically change the course of a fight.

Yes, That's nothing more, nothing less than a rewording of the original Eldritch Strike. I changed i t like that to give more the spell-like-maneuver feeling.

Arcane Riposte: Other than Counterspell and Shield, what spells can trigger this? It seems pretty narrow, which is fine for an Optional feature.

As intended, only these two spells. Absorb Elements, for example, does not activate this feature.

Improved Eldritch Strike: This is a pretty nice boost to Eldritch Strike. Getting one weapon attack in isn't going to outpace Flurry, but it lets you keep up a little better when you have 3-4 attacks per round but still want to drop a Save or Disable on an enemy.

Yes! Again, it wants to cover the same spot of the original Improved War Magic, and also tie Weapon Bond and Eldrithc Strike togheter.

Sorry if my feedback is a little wordy. There's a lot to cover here. All in all, I think you've well represented your "spells as psuedo-maneuvers" ideal here, but the class is simply too powerful across the board.

Thankyou again for your feedback! I must say that the class is that strong on purpose, I don't mind daring a little from time to time. At the moment I'm considering possible ways to nerf or replace Eldritch Flurry (maybe keeping it as an optional feature with a big disclaimer), but none of them satisfy me enough.

[ShiningStarling]

The perennial favorite of the insane and the zany. If Bugs Bunny were a subclass, it would look a lot like Wild Magic Sorcerer.

• Wild Magic Surge: The table's effects are pretty chaotic, but keeping this limited to a bonus action means that (unless you do something dumb like turn yourself into a plant) you can still at least use a cantrip if you don't get a desired result. Tides of Chaos is a big loss for low level Wild Sorcerers, as well. It also doesn't address what I consider one of the Wild Magic Sorcerer's biggest problems, which is that the DM gets to decide when your features happen.
• Roll with the Tides: Both effects of this are excellent fun. When you willingly accept the surge does that mean you roll on the table or that you choose to roll the d20? Other than that, I think the second effect should maybe be limited to 1/short rest.
• Controlled Mayhem: A slightly better variant of Controlled Chaos but with a cost. Combined with the Wild Surge spell it opens up a lot of options for a sorcerer to fish for the beneficial parts of the table.
• Unleashed: Hmm. That's a lot of resources to control your wild surges. I could now dump up to 36 points into my Wild Surge throughout a day. Especially combined with the free metamagic effect of Roll with the Tides this could get out of hand.

I don't really have an overall that isn't going to just be a repeat of what I said in the individual feature notes. I think it embraces the Wild Magic Sorcerer as it is while recreating it so it can feel more inside the player's choice.

Sounds like my goals came through. To answer your question, you roll on the table when you accept a surge, not the d20. Thanks for the feedback! (Side note, since I added so much control later, I wanted the lower level to feel a bit less advantageous.) Also, the DM decides? I was under the impression you rolled every time you cast a spell.

[Twelvetrees]

Feedback for the ones I hadn't gotten to before now.

Spoiler: Eldritch Knight

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Martial Magic
How does this work with spells that don't affect creatures, like dancing lights?

Spellcasting Focus
I hadn't realized this wasn't already a part of Eldritch Knight. Definitely a good addition.

Weapon Bond
I'm reminded of 3.5's Duskblade with the changes you've made. It's a different twist on the subclass and one that makes them more formidable in melee. I will admit that I'm having trouble seeing how this isn't the equivalent of moving the original Eldritch Knight's War Magic feature down to 3rd level. They both allow you to use both a cantrip and an attack in the same turn.

Battle Surge
This feels like a fix to a problem you created for yourself by making every spell have a range of touch. It's cool to be able to center area of effect spells on yourself and avoid being hit by them, but it's less cool that you must center them on yourself.

War Magic
Being limited to cantrips with spell attack rolls limits this much more than the original feature. Still fun, but less flexible.

Eldritch Flurry
That's a lot of extra damage. Combine this with something like fire bolt and you're suddenly doing equivalent damage to a Battle Master at will. I'm struggling to see what this adds to the subclass besides more power.

Eldritch Strike
This is a better version of the original feature. Can you elaborate on why this was necessary? I don't think I understand what was wrong with the standard feature that you felt it needed improving.

Arcane Riposte
What does "deflect an attack using a spell with a casting time of a reaction" mean? I feel like this is specifically meant to be used with shield and if that is the case, I think it would be simpler to say "if you use shield" instead.

I'll also note that in order to counterspell you now have to be in touch range of the person casting the spell, which makes it harder to cast.

Improved Eldritch Strike
What does this mean? Does this allow you to do something like cast fire bolt and burning hands as part of the same action?


Overall Impression
I can't help but feel like this is a more complicated version of the paladin. It's got the same basic structure of attacking and using a spell slot for more damage. There are certainly differences, but it treads similar ground.

Spoiler: Wild Sorcerer

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Wild Surge
Comparing this with Tides of Chaos, this has a much higher cost to use for what appears to be little benefit. You can't quicken a spell on the same turn or cast anything other than a cantrip. You're also using an extra spell slot for what could potentially be a negative effect.

What am I missing here that makes this preferable to Tides of Chaos?

Roll with the Tides
The first half of this feature appears to activity conflict with the point of playing a Wild Sorcerer. Why are you paying sorcery points to avoid using your class features?

The second half of this feature feels like a way to add Tides of Chaos back into the subclass, but with a different twist. I'd enjoy being able to use Wild Magic Surges in this way.

Controlled Mayhem
This feels roughly equivalent to the original ability.

Unleashed
I envision most of these Wild sorcery points being used on Controlled Mayhem, which feels counter to the point of playing a Wild Sorcerer. The more control you have over Wild Magic Surge, the less wild it becomes.

I really like being able to trigger more than one surge at once - that's amazing!


Overall Impression
I don't understand some of the design decisions you made, especially the ones that run counter to using your class features or controlling them, so I think I missed something major with your design intent.

This feels like a less wild version of the Wild Magic sorcerer to me.

Spoiler: Way of the Sun Soul (BerzerkerUnit)

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Illuminating Wisdom
Mostly a fluff feature, but it's delightfully apt for this subclass.

Radiant Bolts
Oh, whoa, this encourages a monk with this subclass to make Wisdom their highest score. That's interesting.

Does the barrage of bolts have to target the same creature? I can't quite tell right now. I'd also suggest limiting this additional barrage of bolts to once per turn, otherwise this feature allows a monk to dump all of their ki points in one turn for a ton of extra damage. A fifth level monk, for example, could throw two radiant bolts, then two more with flurry of blows and then probably sink their remaining four ki points into barrages of bolts for the attacks that hit for a total of 8d6 + 4x Wisdom modifier damage to a single creature. They would then be completely out of ki points.

Sky-Crossing Step
I ought to point out that this is better than the same-level feature of the much-maligned Twilight Domain. A simple fix would be adding concentration to keep this flight active.

Treating different light levels as terrain is downright awesome.

Sunset Soul Explosion
This is a fairly straightforward fix to Searing Sunburst, so I'm a fan.

Glorious Heliocentric Countenance
Oh, this feels like a paladin capstone feature. Does the extra radiant damage on unarmed strikes apply to your Radiant Bolts?

There's a lot going on here, but it's mostly circumstantial. My guess is that it hits about the right balance for a 17th level monk feature.

Overall Impression
I like a lot of this. Radiant Bolts allows a little too much ki to be expended all at once, but other than that, this works well.

Spoiler: Soulknife

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I don't think I've ever seen a subclass that can be shared between classes before. I like that possibility, but it requires some careful thought to make it work well.

Mind Blade
How does concentration work with two mind blades? Do both disappear if concentration is lost?

Automatic critical hits every other turn with sneak attack eclipses the main draw of Assassin at the same level for a rogue. That's powerful.

Way of the Soulknife
This doesn't give a monk much more utility than they already had. Constantly having to resummon mind blades as a bonus action also conflicts with the many other options monks have for their bonus actions.

Soulknife Fighter
Summoning mind blades quicker allows for faster crits. I also suspect this subclass will get more crits than a Champion fighter, but that's not saying much.

Soulknife Rogue
Being able to summon a Mind Blade and use Cunning Action is really nice. This seems fine.

Meditations
None of these stand out to me as exciting and attention-grabbing. They're all useful, but in small, incremental ways.


Annihilating Blade
This works best for monks, but a high Wisdom fighter could do a decent amount of extra damage with this. Doesn't work so well for rogues. Not much to say here, it's a damage boost.

Arsenal of the Mind
Neither rogue nor monk want this. Fighters do, but 7th level is pretty late to switch to using a different style of weapon. I suspect this is meant to have synergy with specific feats, but that isn't going to be particularly clear to players unless they know the rules of the game quite well.

Concussive Collapse
I like shoving foes around, this seems like fun.

Energy Blade
Another damage boosting option. This seems really similar to Annihilating Blade.

Force Shield
Most of the time, using an actual shield is more useful. Monks and rogues don't have shield proficiency, so they might like it at the start of a fight, but the extra AC will disappear once they lose concentration and it takes too long to bring back up to really be useful to manifest in the middle of a fight.

Psionic Power
Magic Initiate as a class feature isn't bad, but not getting it until somewhere between 6th and 9th level is a little late.

Psychic Parry
More useful for fighters and monks than rogues, who have uncanny dodge. For a defensive-focused character, this is awesome.

Psychic Pin
Seems fine to me.

Soul Siphon
This doesn't seem like enough temporary hit points to be worth taking. Collapsing the mind blade for a few extra temporary hit points instead of getting an automatic critical feels like an poor tradeoff.

Speed of Thought
Useful for fighters and maybe rogues. Monks usually have speed to spare.

Improved Mind Blade
Okay, more crits, similar to a Champion fighter.

Psychic Bladestorm
My biases are showing here, but this reminds me too much of 3.5's multiclassing builds where you had to plan your character's entire 1-20 path to be effective. It also breaks my suspension of disbelief in the game world because it explicitly recognizes game features as being necessary to have this ability.

It does lots of damage, but that's about it.


Overall Impression
This pushes players hard in the direction of multiclassing "correctly" and has a lot of features that improve combat capabilities. This isn't my cup of tea, but I've no doubt that some players would love it.

Spoiler: Way of the Elements

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Elemental Initiate
That's a lot of cantrips that provide a lot of utility.

Elemental Attunements
This is a lot in addition to the cantrips. I'm worried that this subclass is frontloaded and ripe for multiclassing out of.

Attunement of Fire seems the most useful - it allows you to focus your damage on a single target and has access to area spells as well. I'm having trouble coming up with a situation where I wouldn't want to have it as one of my Elemental Attunements.

Elemental Strike
More damage on a monk is pretty good. Pairing Wood and Fire could result in a lot of temporary hit points. Fangs of the Fire Snake plus Wood Elemental strike would be 1d6 + 2d10 + 1d4 + Dex mod temporary hit points at 6th level, somewhere around 21 temporary hit points.

Elemental Flurry
Ooh. This is like an Eldritch Knight's Improved War Magic, but seven levels earlier and two attacks instead of one. This might be a little strong.

Elemental Avatar
Yeah, the investiture spells make sense here. Being able to cast any one of them is a nice bit of utility, too.


Overall Impression
This is a good improvement over the original but might be a little front-loaded. I really like the elemental attunements giving access to thematic lists.

Spoiler: Assassin

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The old Assassin was clunky but functional. Hopefully you trimmed some of the clunk and kept some of the murder.

• Assassinate: This is a good example of trimming clunk. The old one was highly unreliable and surprised is a tricky condition that a lot of tables misuse in my experience. This one is clean and always helpful.
• I can't believe you've created an explicit "two gnomes in a trenchcoat" mechanic for this subclass. I can believe how delighted that makes me. Mechanically, I think this is fine. It's nicer than the "week to establish a false identity" option which felt more like an espionage thing than an assassination thing (not that there isn't significant overlap in the two trope-o-spheres).
• Exfiltration Expertise: The only weird thing here is that it happens passively without your input. I suggest tying this to Cunning Action or granting the rogue a reaction they can use when an ally would provoke an opportunity attack to make it feel more like the Rogue is directing their allies in how to get away. At the very least this should be limited to allies the Rogue can perceive and/or require the Rogue to be conscious (like a paladin aura). Nitpicking aside, this is a really fun feature (and the old Impostor feature once again felt very espionage and not very assassin).
• Death Strike: The new wording is identical to Assassinate's new wording, but that's still fine. Once per combat is not going to break the world in half.

Overall, this class stayed closer to its base identity and mechanics than most, which was better because you applied the grease to the squeaky wheels while leaving the good stuff intact. I feel like you stayed closer to the identity of the assassin while you were at it as well.

Thanks for taking a look and glad you enjoyed the "two gnomes in a trenchcoat" feature!

Tying Exfiltration Expertise to Cunning Action could work. I'd rather not make it consume reactions because rogues tend to have really good uses for their reactions already. Paladin auras were definitely the inspiration for this, but I glanced at Oath of the Ancients for what sort of wording to use and it looks like that's the one paladin aura that doesn't require you to be conscious to function.

I'll fiddle around and see if I can come up with something better.

[MoleMage]

In my experience with the original class I got this mechanic from, there is absolutely no need to specify all of these exceptions, since each spell specifies well what its RANGE is and what its RADIUS is, and only its range is affected by Battle Magic, similar to what the Distant Spell metamagic option does. Green Flame Blade for example, has a range of Self, so it is not altered by Battle Magic in any way.

The more specific wording would account for cases like you had with Dimension Door (which doesn't target a creature). You don't have to provide examples, it's just something I do in my writing.

HAHAHAHAHA. This is a problem due to the fact that English is not my mother tongue. I wanted to express the idea that spells were "released explosively" directly from the body of the EK. I may have misunderstood the meaning of Surge, which in my language can also be translated as "wave" or "impetus". I accept gladly advices for an alternative!!! ^^

You aren't wrong for the translation. There's a sense in English of a surge being an upswell of energy but without the explosive release part. Or maybe it's just me. Language is funny that way sometimes.

Mmm, this is weird. The text of this feature is largely taken from Sculpt Spell of the Wizard's school of Evocation, and I'm pretty sure it's meant to include the Wizard himself if he chooses so, since he can see and therefore choose himself among the creatures to apply the effects.

Am I wrong? O_o

You say you can use the feature on "other creatures that you can see", which by a strict reading means "creatures other than yourself that you can see". If you drop the other it will be doing what you intended it to.

My responses in bold so I didn't have to break up the quote.

[Old Harry MTX]

My responses in bold so I didn't have to break up the quote.

Thankyou again for your answers! I'll fix Battle Surge, I assumed it could include the caster as well.

UPDATE: I have also replaced Eldritch Flurry with a feature more in line with the standard levels of power (but keeping it as an optional feature, with a big disclaimer). Take a look at it if you want!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Feedback for the ones I hadn't gotten to before now.

Thankyou for your feedbacks too!

Martial Magic
How does this work with spells that don't affect creatures, like dancing lights?

In the case of spells like dancing lights or wall of force, you cast them targeting one of the squares you can reach within Touch range, and then you can extend the spell's effects as you wish within the limits set by the spell's text. For example in the case of wall of force, the limit is only to create the panels contiguous to each other, while with dancing lights you can move the lights up to 60 feet with your bonus action. For further clarity, I could specify that Martial Magic only reduces range at cast time.

Spellcasting Focus
I hadn't realized this wasn't already a part of Eldritch Knight. Definitely a good addition.

Yes, I know. That's weird...

Battle Surge
This feels like a fix to a problem you created for yourself by making every spell have a range of touch. It's cool to be able to center area of effect spells on yourself and avoid being hit by them, but it's less cool that you must center them on yourself.

However, you couldn't cast them further than you can reach within Touch range, so it's more of a note of flavor that gives the feeling of the spell being "exploded" directly from your body, like a nova.

War Magic
Being limited to cantrips with spell attack rolls limits this much more than the original feature. Still fun, but less flexible.

Yes, nothing more, nothing less. All aimed at giving the spells the feeling of a maneuver.

Eldritch Flurry
That's a lot of extra damage. Combine this with something like fire bolt and you're suddenly doing equivalent damage to a Battle Master at will. I'm struggling to see what this adds to the subclass besides more power.

The idea was to find an alternative for the original War Magic, which would allow to overcome the slow spell slots progression of the EK, transforming all the cantrip with spell attack rolls into a sort of Eldritch Blast. The result is far too strong, but I liked the mechanics so much that I decided to leave it as an optional feature, adding a big disclaimer. I'm not ruling out that I could recycle it for a Warlock subclass! ^^

Eldritch Strike
This is a better version of the original feature. Can you elaborate on why this was necessary? I don't think I understand what was wrong with the standard feature that you felt it needed improving.

Again, it's all about giving even more of the feel of maneuver-like spells

Arcane Riposte
What does "deflect an attack using a spell with a casting time of a reaction" mean? I feel like this is specifically meant to be used with shield and if that is the case, I think it would be simpler to say "if you use shield" instead.

I'll also note that in order to counterspell you now have to be in touch range of the person casting the spell, which makes it harder to cast.

Yes, this feature is triggered with counterspell and shield (for example, absorb elements doesn't work with it). I have not explicitly specified these two spells because I want to leave room to possible new spells, official or homebrewed.

Improved Eldritch Strike
What does this mean? Does this allow you to do something like cast fire bolt and burning hands as part of the same action?

I don't understand where this misunderstanding comes from. O_o
This feature simply allows you to consider the Eldritch Strike's attack roll you make before casting a spell as if it were a spell attack roll, and therefore convertible into a melee attack via Weapon Bond. Basically, it allows you to make a melee attack even if the spell doesn't originally have a spell attack roll, or one more if the spell has fewer spell attack rolls than the number of attacks you can make during an Attack action, but you can't convert it to a cantrip using War Magic since you're not making an Attack action.

Overall Impression
I can't help but feel like this is a more complicated version of the paladin. It's got the same basic structure of attacking and using a spell slot for more damage. There are certainly differences, but it treads similar ground.

I tend to see it more as an alternative to the Battlemaster, with more versatility given by the Wizard's spells. Indeed it may seem complicated at first glance, but from what is my experience with the original class from which I took part of the features, I assure you that 5 minutes are enough to get used to the mechanics. ^^