D&D Subclass Contest Chat Thread 2: Joke Entries Win with Alarming Frequency

[nickl_2000]

So I discovered this for the first time yesterday and I made the Dragonstone Warrior: a fighter subclass based on Corrin from Fire Emblem Fates. It's... not good, to say the least. I made it in about an hour or so, and I'm pretty sure it's only my 2nd ever homebrew subclass. So critique is more than welcome.

New entry, new review :) And for an hours worth of work, I think it is actually pretty darn good.

Spoiler: Martial Archetype: Dragonstone Warrior

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Welcome to the party! Glad to see new names and fresh aviators!

Draconic Regality - Looks good, no complaints here

Dragonstone Transformation - Small typo that changes the intended meaning "If you loose this stone" I assume should be "if you lose this stone."

For the Arcane Blast on this feature, this actually seems a little underpowered in terms of damage. Once you use this, you loose your over abilities so it's effectively a finishing move in combat if you need it. A fighter at level 5 will be doing 2 attacks, each at around 1d8+4. So average damage on hit of 8.5 each to do 17 damage a round. This ability will do an average of 10.5 damage in a round, and making you lose your +1 AC bonus. Really, there are only rare situations where it would be worthwhile to use this ability as it is. I may look at either boosting the amount of damage done by 1d6 or making it a small AoE ability to make it more worthwhile to use.

On the other hand, the light, reach weapon that does 1d8 is a little to powerful. The only other martial weapon that is similar is the whip, which does 1d4 damage. Since it's part of an ability, doing 1d6 damage feels right to me. Or either remove the light or the reach property (probably the light because I'm assuming the reach is part of the theme).

Blood of the First Dragons - Seems fine to me as is.

Dragonfang - Despite this ability causing it to no longer end the transformation, I would still keep the damage higher. Otherwise this seems good, the ability to use it in place of the last attack is powerful, but is sensibly limited. This making it cool, effective, and well balanced.

Dragon's Soul - Makes sense. A lot is based on your dragon form up until now, so it's nice to be able to use it more often.

Dragon-kin - The last bullet on here seems a little much to me. Being able to make 2 to 3 attacks and then dropping 5d6 (or 6d6) damage on someone at will is really, really powerful. Everything else is good, even moving the damage to 1d10 on the force lance weapon. You have a capstone, it should be cool.

Ignore all of the above. As I read on further, I saw that you could only do this once per long rest. Given that's the case I retract everything and see this as perfectly fine the way it is. It's powerful, but it is limited enough to make it balanced.


Overall, this is a really good entry. It's got a lot of good flavour to it and feel to it. There is plenty to do while playing the class and seems great.

[Snowben Gaming]

New entry, new review :) And for an hours worth of work, I think it is actually pretty darn good.

Spoiler: Martial Archetype: Dragonstone Warrior

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Welcome to the party! Glad to see new names and fresh aviators!

Draconic Regality - Looks good, no complaints here

Dragonstone Transformation - Small typo that changes the intended meaning "If you loose this stone" I assume should be "if you lose this stone."

For the Arcane Blast on this feature, this actually seems a little underpowered in terms of damage. Once you use this, you loose your over abilities so it's effectively a finishing move in combat if you need it. A fighter at level 5 will be doing 2 attacks, each at around 1d8+4. So average damage on hit of 8.5 each to do 17 damage a round. This ability will do an average of 10.5 damage in a round, and making you lose your +1 AC bonus. Really, there are only rare situations where it would be worthwhile to use this ability as it is. I may look at either boosting the amount of damage done by 1d6 or making it a small AoE ability to make it more worthwhile to use.

On the other hand, the light, reach weapon that does 1d8 is a little to powerful. The only other martial weapon that is similar is the whip, which does 1d4 damage. Since it's part of an ability, doing 1d6 damage feels right to me. Or either remove the light or the reach property (probably the light because I'm assuming the reach is part of the theme).

Blood of the First Dragons - Seems fine to me as is.

Dragonfang - Despite this ability causing it to no longer end the transformation, I would still keep the damage higher. Otherwise this seems good, the ability to use it in place of the last attack is powerful, but is sensibly limited. This making it cool, effective, and well balanced.

Dragon's Soul - Makes sense. A lot is based on your dragon form up until now, so it's nice to be able to use it more often.

Dragon-kin - The last bullet on here seems a little much to me. Being able to make 2 to 3 attacks and then dropping 5d6 (or 6d6) damage on someone at will is really, really powerful. Everything else is good, even moving the damage to 1d10 on the force lance weapon. You have a capstone, it should be cool.

Ignore all of the above. As I read on further, I saw that you could only do this once per long rest. Given that's the case I retract everything and see this as perfectly fine the way it is. It's powerful, but it is limited enough to make it balanced.


Overall, this is a really good entry. It's got a lot of good flavour to it and feel to it. There is plenty to do while playing the class and seems great.

Thanks for the feedback!

The "loose" should be "lose", that was indeed a typo.

The Arcane Blast was the main thing I was worried about in this to be honest, my rationale for its current state was that it deals force damage, which isn't commonly resisted. I'll probably make it a small AoE (5ft radius sphere maybe?) as it is effectively the closest thing you get to a breath weapon, rather than increase the damage (although I might end up doing so anyways).

The natural weapon is a weird one, as Corrin (who this whole thing is based off) can attack with it after making a weapon attack with a 1 handed weapon, indicating that it has the light property (but then again, he usually makes it after an attack with his sword, which is best represented in 5e by a longsword, which doesn't have the light property, so I can only assume he just took the Dual-Wielder feat) and although it has way more reach than any melee weapon in FE: Fates, it doesn't actually increase his in-game reach (probably because he only uses it as part of a combo which has a % chance of being triggered by any attack he makes on his turn, so the attack uses the reach of the weapon he used. Not to mention all melee weapons in Fire Emblem have the same reach.), all of which means that, if I'm being faithful to the source, it shouldn't have either property. I'm definitely going to keep the reach though, so I'll probably drop the damage down to a d6 or remove the light property. I'm leaning towards damage, but that of course raises the point of if I need to lower the damage while in true dragon form. (Although I forgot to remove the ability to actually wield manufactured weapons (and other object interactions) while in true dragon form, as you're walking around on all fours, so that'll probably balance out... hopefully.) Never mind, Corrin still has hands in dragon form, but his equipment is absorbed into him (like how it is for a druid's Wildshape, so I'll add that as a clause instead.

I'm glad to hear everything else holds up, I was half expecting the capstone to be too weak, and half expecting it to be way too strong, so I'm real happy that it's actually ok.

Thanks again!

[Phhase]

Welcome to the clan, Snow! I'm the needlessly complex one.

As far as dragonstone warrior goes, honestly, not much to say. Looks pretty good! I really can't think of many changes to make, it's pretty well done. Seems faithful to the source, not the most flexible but certainly consistent, strength seems ok. Good entry!

Way of Mist isn't done, but what is there seems neat. I like the extra turn and the healing pool, though 5 points might be a bit much for just advantage.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Wait, quick question, is there a spell or other magical way to identify a person, like just point at them and say "what's their name?" basically?

[Snowben Gaming]

Welcome to the clan, Snow! I'm the needlessly complex one.

As far as dragonstone warrior goes, honestly, not much to say. Looks pretty good! I really can't think of many changes to make, it's pretty well done. Seems faithful to the source, not the most flexible but certainly consistent, strength seems ok. Good entry!

Thanks! I'm honestly kind of surprised as to how well it holds up, but I'm definitely glad to hear it does.

Wait, quick question, is there a spell or other magical way to identify a person, like just point at them and say "what's their name?" basically?

I... don't believe so, but if you need something that does so, you can always make it.

Well then, I guess I should do my part and give some feedback.

Spoiler: Way of the Mists

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First Metals: This (and the subclass as a whole) does depend on what the metals actually do, so I'll probably give an extra bit of feedback once you've had the time to do them.

Allomantic Reserves: Again, depends on the metals, but assuming that all of the metals require ki to activate, this will be a really good feature.

Augur: This is pretty cool. I do have a question though: when assigning bonus ki from Allomantic Reserves, do you gain 3 gold points per ki point, or just 3 no matter how many ki points you put in. I assume it's the former, but I just figured I'd ask, as the wording doesn't make it clear (at least for me).

Atium: Now this is good. No further comments here.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I... don't believe so, but if you need something that does so, you can always make it.

No, I need there to not be such a thing, or I need to put in a sentence that protects against it somewhere.



I let it get right down to the wire this month. I honestly wouldn't mind a week extension, which I would use to give feedback on all your great creations and maybe nerf some of these optional abilities I wrote into the Masked Menace. But I'm also good to go as is.

[Snowben Gaming]

No, I need there to not be such a thing, or I need to put in a sentence that protects against it somewhere.

Fair enough.

I let it get right down to the wire this month. I honestly wouldn't mind a week extension, which I would use to give feedback on all your great creations and maybe nerf some of these optional abilities I wrote into the Masked Menace. But I'm also good to go as is.

Well, even if you don't get time to do any revisions, have some feedback:

Spoiler: Masked Menace Rogue

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Alter Ego: Beyond a minor typo (acquire of scavenge should be acquire or scavenge) this is a pretty snazzy ribbon ability, as befitting a rogue subclass.

Quick Change: This feels more like an extension of Alter Ego to me. Additionally, 5e doesn't have full round actions, so the second sentence needs to be changed (at least the wording does, it could still take a full round, you'd just have to specify that if you take the action and no bonus actions or movement on your turn then you get the benefits). Also, Stealth checks should be written as "Dexterity (Stealth) checks", but that's just a writing thing rather than a balance thing, so it's easily changed.

Level 3 Overall: The features here are really good flavour wise, but they're both ribbons, whereas the official rogue subclasses get a ribbon and a combat-based feature. Since Alter Ego and Quick Change are so closely related, I'd say you'd be able to pass them off together as the ribbon and then add an extra combat-based feature.

Rumoured Reputation: All of these features are real good flavour wise, but they aren't balanced against each other. I am the Night is too powerful I think, as the Thief only gains advantage on stealth checks if they move less than half movement on their turn, whereas this gives advantage on all dex saves, which is just too powerful. Leading by Example and Fear Itself should be good, as they're about balanced with the thief's 9th level ability. Fear not my Friends is good, but I don't think it's too good. (It's also what I would take if I were playing this subclass.)

Skilled for Two: Extra skills never hurt anyone, especially a rogue.

Superb Reputation: Most of these are really cool! I am the Night definitely needs a nerf, I'd recommend giving what you gave it at 9th (advantage on dex saves) assuming you nerfed it at 9th. For Fear Itself you'd probably just be better off saying "all creatures of your choice" rather than making a distinction between allies, enemies and neutrals. Other than that, these are great!

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Thanks, good stuff! I can definitely sneak at least some of that in there later today.

(EDIT: made changes based on that feedback, added "No Surprises" to lvl 3, hoping it's not a smidgen too strong.)

[Snowben Gaming]

Thanks, good stuff! I can definitely sneak at least some of that in there later today.

You're welcome. Happy to be of help!

[Snowben Gaming]

(EDIT: made changes based on that feedback, added "No Surprises" to lvl 3, hoping it's not a smidgen too strong.)

Spoiler: Masked Menace Round 2

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No Surprises: Doesn't seem OP to me at least. War Wizards add int to initiative at level 2 which will probably be a higher number anyways (and will stay that way (assuming an increase to int mod at all ASI opportunities) until proficiency becomes +6) so that part of the feature seems fine to me. I'm kinda confused about the wording of the second part of the ability, I'm reading it as "you get a turn at the end of the surprise round and then your regular turn at the initiative you rolled on all consecutive turns" but I'm not sure if that's what it's actually supposed to do. If it is, it seems good to go.

I am the Night Revised: Yeah, this is a whole lot better now, non-magic dex saves at 9th and all dex saves at 17th is a whole lot better.

Conclusion: Everything looks pretty cool to me!

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I'm kinda confused about the wording of the second part of the ability, I'm reading it as "you get a turn at the end of the surprise round and then your regular turn at the initiative you rolled on all consecutive turns" but I'm not sure if that's what it's actually supposed to do. If it is, it seems good to go.

Yes, that's what I meant. Both to make it not quite as strong as going in proper order during the surprise round, and to prevent that awkward situation where the DM goes "okay, so nothing has happened yet, you didn't see anything, it's your turn now."

I'll see what I can do about the wording.

[Snowben Gaming]

Yes, that's what I meant. Both to make it not quite as strong as going in proper order during the surprise round, and to prevent that awkward situation where the DM goes "okay, so nothing has happened yet, you didn't see anything, it's your turn now."

Yeah, that makes sense. It's a pretty cool ability, I just wanted to make sure I understood what it actually did.

[MoleMage]

Well then, I guess I should do my part and give some feedback.

Spoiler: Way of the Mists

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First Metals: This (and the subclass as a whole) does depend on what the metals actually do, so I'll probably give an extra bit of feedback once you've had the time to do them.

Allomantic Reserves: Again, depends on the metals, but assuming that all of the metals require ki to activate, this will be a really good feature.

Augur: This is pretty cool. I do have a question though: when assigning bonus ki from Allomantic Reserves, do you gain 3 gold points per ki point, or just 3 no matter how many ki points you put in. I assume it's the former, but I just figured I'd ask, as the wording doesn't make it clear (at least for me).

Atium: Now this is good. No further comments here.

Thanks for the feedback! I changed Augur's ongoing effect to be "automatically succeed" against ongoing effects instead (they're common but not usually game breaking to escape easily, and it only works if a save is allowed in the first place). Fixed the wording (you do indeed get 3 gold points per bonus ki) also. I wrote the metals; they aren't equal right now but I don't have time to work through them, tried to eyeball it early on. All metals give an active effect costing Ki points, generally fitting a category: Iron/Steel is about offense, Tin/Pewter are saves and abilities, Zinc/Brass are more defensive, and Copper/Bronze are about dealing with magical effects.

[Twelvetrees]

Spoiler: Cannibal Witch Review

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Okay, so both the level 2 features feel like fluff features to me. They are neat and they are thematic, but they won't make a huge difference in the game. There is nothing in there that yells to me, this is what I will be doing all that time that fits the theme and makes me more powerful.

Maybe your house can have a charm affect where while it is standing all creatures within a certain distance must make a save or be charmed and forced to move towards the cottage and spend their action eating it? Or maybe if they do eat it they must make a con save or have their speed slowed for 1 minute (because they are so full of sweet). Something that has either direct or indirect combat implications.

Fatten Them Up - That is a lot of temp hp. When you are level 10 you are giving 50 hp, considering a fighter at that level would have 86 you are adding over 50% more hp to them. This gets to be even more when it's factored into a barbarian who gets damage resistances. Personally, I would look to make this a smaller about and allow you to do it once per person per short rest. That way is has an impact on the game, but it is spread more evenly around. Another possible issue here is the feeding of it to enemies or people that aren't enemies. You can force feed them food and give them disadvantage from your suggestion and charm spells forever basically. The concept is a cool one, but how does the NPC avoid that?

Into the Oven - How many people can be in the oven at once?

Cook and Eat Them - Do my a favor and say that your regain hit points equal to their hit dice (rounded down). That way it's extremely clear that you can't just start throwing CR 1/8 creature in there until you are at full hit points.


So, I don't see an issue with the level 6 and 10 features not working together. Both of the are related to your theme and it makes it so you get a feature when your house has been destroyed.

Thanks for the feedback!

My intention with the House was for it to be more of a way to bar the way for foes than anything else. Charm effects were considered, but I felt that they were likely to be too similar to the School of Enchantment's level two ability. Frankly, I've had difficulty figuring out how effective the ability to create a wall at low levels is.

I changed it to be easier to create and removed the limitation on how often it could be created. Hopefully that makes it more useful.

The other changes I made follow your advice pretty closely.

Spoiler: Gingerbread House Resident

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Just summon a wholeass gingerbread house. I love it, that's hilarious.

Oooh, I like the idea of trading off making enemies tougher to make them softer for your spells, interesting.

How many creatures can fit in the oven at once? Does it affect allies too? And what's the max creature size? That could be pretty OP in the right scenario. Especially since you effectively have to make 2 saving throws in a row to successfully escape the oven, because you make the first save at the end of your turn, then start your turn next to it again forcing another save.

Cook and eat is a bit meh though, although the fact that it fails bag of rats makes it obtusely useful.

Overall a pretty sweet meme subclass lol.

And there's the second comment on the how many creatures can fit in the oven at once...
Added information on that.

The bag of rats issue has been fixed. Thanks for catching that!

[MoleMage]

I was just getting ready to put the voting thread up when I noticed that I accidentally posted this contest for 3 weeks instead of the customary 4. Extending it an extra week for free, so if you had any edits in the work go ahead and put them up now!

[LumenPlacidum]

Oh, I just posted a subclass for Barbarian that was based on a prestige class from a previous edition of D&D, so I guess it qualifies here? Can I still enter, or has a window closed?

[MoleMage]

Oh, I just posted a subclass for Barbarian that was based on a prestige class from a previous edition of D&D, so I guess it qualifies here? Can I still enter, or has a window closed?

It would qualify, but one of the rules prohibits sharing the subclass outside the contest during the duration. In the past, we've allowed it if the original thread is taken down until the contest concludes, though.

[LumenPlacidum]

No problem! I'll join the next one

[Twelvetrees]

I was just getting ready to put the voting thread up when I noticed that I accidentally posted this contest for 3 weeks instead of the customary 4. Extending it an extra week for free, so if you had any edits in the work go ahead and put them up now!

Woo! I've got time for reviews!

Getting this going with a review of Magitech Mercenary.

Spoiler: Magitech Mercenary

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I'm not familiar with the Borderlands character, but I think I got a pretty good idea from the features you laid out. This feels like a high-tech soldier who isn't afraid to get their hands dirty.

Mechanics Comments

SNTNL -
Force Slug isn't quite a straightforward as it appears. You're using "weapon attack modifier" to determine its bonus to hit, but which weapon attack modifier does this refer to? You probably want to specify an ability modifier + proficiency bonus. You could do something like 2x PB instead if you wanted to keep it simple to read.

Barrier -

The barrier is translucent, glowing with magic, and can be passed through by creatures. Any creature that is on the same side of the barrier that you are and is within 15 feet of the barrier, receives half-cover and can attack or cast spells through the barrier.

This piece is confusing. I don't think I understand why your position in relation to the barrier matters. It seems like it would be easier to say "The barrier provides half cover to creatures behind it." In addition, the wording you've got also implies that creatures can't normally attack or cast spells thorugh the barrier.

As something else to consider, what happens when you are directly to the side of the barrier?

SNTNL/Barrier/Kill Skill -
Every creature has at least one hit die, so the bit in parenthesis doesn't have any functional impact.

Another!

Spoiler: Battling Bowman

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I gotta admit, Artificer feels like an odd choice of chassis for this. I would have expected ranger, rogue, or fighter. Maybe even monk.

Heh, those are some fun references.


Mechanics

Spells -
Seems fine, but I didn't delve into the details.

Quick Quiver -
Is there a limit to how many items can fit in the quiver?

Trick Shots -

You may make your proficiency mod number of trick shots per long or short rest.

I'm going to be picky. Can you clean up this wording to make it clear how many of these trick shots you get? It's ambiguous right now.

Legolas' Double Shot -
Is the "spell attack" language here intentional? And how exactly does this work with Trick Shots? My reading is that you'd choose a Trick Shot projectile and then if you decided to make a Double Shot with that projectile, the Trick Shot would vanish into the ether.

Trick Shots -
Boomerang: Does this require another attack roll or does the second attack automatically hit?

Glue: How long does the reduction to movement speed last? What can be done to remove that penalty?

Multishot: This option outclasses every other option that adds damage, especially because you can aim all of the projectiles at a single creature. Hold on, this outclasses Action Surge when it improves. I think this needs something of a nerf. Suggestions: Force them to target multiple creatures or reduce the damage of each projectile.


Overall:
I'm still questioning the choice of Artificer, but the subclass imitaties its source material well. My bar for using homebrew is high, but I'd have no issue with a player who wanted to use this. It seems like it'd be fun.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

It would qualify, but one of the rules prohibits sharing the subclass outside the contest during the duration. In the past, we've allowed it if the original thread is taken down until the contest concludes, though.

Speaking as probably the most recent person who has been allowed to do this: everyone here was very chill about it. I didn't even have the old thread deleted, I just made it a referal to the contest instead. And I can still move the subclass back in there now for purposes of being found if I want to. I got plenty of good feedback here too, which is the real draw.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Okay, so me giving my two cents time. I'm not sure how far I'll get, so I'm starting on the recent end, assuming the first classes posted already got the most feedback.

I'll be saying "I'm not familiar with the source material" a lot in these reviews, which means I have very little idea of how well it connects to the inspiration.

Spoiler: Way of the Mists Monk

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I'm not familiar with the source material.

There's a lot of content here, through the four metal pairings and the two relatively complex powers each pairing grants. Eventually getting 3 out of the 4 pairings strikes a good balance between customization and not missing out on important features, although I feel like the class certainly wouldn't suffer from the addition of a fifth and even sixth pair as options.

I feel like the choice to make every one of these powers cost ki points does a good job of reigning in their power, even with the small amount of extra ki points.

In fact, I feel like the 17th level feature in particular could even use a little more oomph. And extra turn is very nice, but using this power is also a significant investment of resources. I would almost be tempted to make this either cost 6 ki points or be usable only one per day rather than both.

Spoiler: Dragonstone Warrior Fighter

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I'm not familiar with the source material. This becomes relevant immediately because at the Dragonstone Transformation section I go "huh, why would dragon powers give you spears and blasts of arcane energy? Why not claws or wings of breath weapons or something connected to dragons? But I'm sure that there is a good connection to the actual inspirational lore here.

An extra skill is nice. Intimidation or persuasions seems like a good thematic choice of two.

Resistance to force damage is exceptional, and on a monster this would make it a strong feature, as force is the damage type you use to hit highly resistant things. But on a PC I think it's quite a fair passive ability, not that many enemies that do force damage. Again, doesn't sound as dragony to me as resistance to fire or lightning or acid or... but enough about my lack of literacy.

The natural weapon counting as magical is fine or even overdue by 10th level, a fighter should do magic weapon damage by then. Especially since the damage is only 1d6, this weapon can certainly use any advantage you can give it.

I think there is a good case to be made for making the arcane blast a bit less strong but removing the restrictions on when you can use it as well (ends your transformation, later on can be used without doing this ones per day). That may provide some flexibility that players may really enjoy. Balance wise I think the current version is good though.

The amount of transformations per day is maybe a little wonky. It starts at three and becomes "unlimited, but no spamming arcane blast" at level 15. I think there is something to be said for a more gradual scale. Maybe start at two per long rest, than one more per short rest at level 7 and than the level 15 power at level 15.

Level 18 seems like a good martial capstone. Your equipment merging with you is even a bit of a penalty sometimes. Given that this is at level 18 I probably wouldn't mind if they could just have this as their every transformation instead of once per day, with maybe only the complete immunity to force damage reduced. But even that's pretty okay in the grand scheme of things. Size large is a little underwhelming for a d&d dragon, but on the other hand I get that from a player perspective it's not great to grow to huge or larger inside a dungeon or such. Maybe an alternative could be giving people a choice at character creation to make the dragon form two size categories larger than their regular size, but then again that delegitimizes the concept that this is a full transformation, a fully transformed dragon shape shouldn't depend on your own size.

[nickl_2000]

I gotta admit, Artificer feels like an odd choice of chassis for this. I would have expected ranger, rogue, or fighter. Maybe even monk.

Heh, those are some fun references.

Overall:
I'm still questioning the choice of Artificer, but the subclass imitaties its source material well. My bar for using homebrew is high, but I'd have no issue with a player who wanted to use this. It seems like it'd be fun.

Thanks for the overall comments. My idea on Artificer is that you are depending on technology to design and create these arrows, whereas the ranger has more of a mystical connection to it (in my mind). That being said, this could very easily be ported into a ranger subclass were someone to want to do it. As for allowing it at your table, I see that as the highest praise one can give a homebrew class or subclass, so thank you!

Quick Quiver -
Is there a limit to how many items can fit in the quiver?

Nope, this was purposely left empty. Since you can only put projectiles in there, it shouldn't get out of hand. Outside of the hijinks of tavern brawler, it's not that abusable and I feel a DM can curtail the tavern brawler hijinks easily enough.

Trick Shots -

I'm going to be picky. Can you clean up this wording to make it clear how many of these trick shots you get? It's ambiguous right now.

Please be picky, I would rather someone be picky and therefore make it cleaner overall. I changed to wording to match the battlemaster's maneuvers more closely.

"You get proficiency mod trick shots. You regain all of your expended trick shots when you finish a short or long rest."

Legolas' Double Shot -
Is the "spell attack" language here intentional? And how exactly does this work with Trick Shots? My reading is that you'd choose a Trick Shot projectile and then if you decided to make a Double Shot with that projectile, the Trick Shot would vanish into the ether.

It was actually, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I removed the language to make it a normal ranged attack. The intent of this is that you can't use either of these shots as a trick shot. So, I made that much more clear.

Trick Shots -
Boomerang: Does this require another attack roll or does the second attack automatically hit?

Glue: How long does the reduction to movement speed last? What can be done to remove that penalty?

Multishot: This option outclasses every other option that adds damage, especially because you can aim all of the projectiles at a single creature. Hold on, this outclasses Action Surge when it improves. I think this needs something of a nerf. Suggestions: Force them to target multiple creatures or reduce the damage of each projectile.

Added in a 2nd attack roll in boomerang. An auto-hit is not a good thing :)

My intent on glue is that people who failed the save would have their movement reduced by half for one turn. I added a few words in to clarify that more.

Good call on multi-shot, that is totally broken (especially at high level). The concept I was trying to get at with that trick shot is covered by Legolas's Double shot. So, I removed it entirely.






Also a few more entries, so a few more reviews :)

Spoiler: Way of the Mists

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Lurcher - Do you mean if they are "carrying significant amounts of metal"? Or is it wearing only? I was initially worried about the Wisdom check vs other check, but then I saw that you were considered proficient in it. So, it seems perfectly fine to me.

Coinshot - This one confuses me. If you spend a bonus action are you attacking 1 person or 3 people? A bonus action to make a ranged attack for 1 ki makes sense (even 2 since then it will equal flurry of blows). As for the ranged attack, that one confuses me. Does that have a ki cost, or are you just able to do it without a ki cost?

Pewterarm - How long do the temp hp last for? Normal duration (until the next rest)?

Rioter - If there are 5 creatures within 60 feet of you and you spend 3 ki, how do you determine who must make the save? Do you choose?

Allomantic Reserves - Thanks for adding in the line at the end where they are lost. That's an important distinction

Atium - Even better than an action surge. I like this a lot.


This is a really, really good subclass. You get the flavour of the series and abilities down incredibly well, while keeping it both fun and balanced. There are a few minor touch ups needed, but not much at all.

Spoiler: Masked Menace Rogue

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Alter Ego - Is there any mechanical gains you get from this? Does it give people disadvantage on an insight check to figure out who you are? Does it protect you from "Locate" spells or divination spells? It probably doesn't need it anything as this feels mostly flavourful, but I had to ask.

It is unusual that you don't get a bonus action usage for the rogue at level 3. I feel like Alter Ego and Quick Change are more fluff abilities than impactful combat abilities. I wouldn't mind seeing quick change and alter ego combined and a smaller thing be added for a bonus action. Maybe some sort of insult, quip, or other witty dialogue that does something to an opponent?

Rumored Reputation - Fear not my Friends seems pretty weak. You can replicate this ability with a healing kit that costs 2gp for 10 uses. When I saw the name of this, I really expected that it would provide a bonus against fear and charm for your allies.

There is a lot of good fluff and flavour in this subclass. I can feel the Zorro vibes to it. However, it feels a little bit combat light and weak to me. You aren't really giving the rogue much more to do during combat than they get from the base class Rogue. Other ideas that might fit into this theme if you wanted to add more.

Some sort of charm ability - Zorro is a charmer
Vicious Mockery as a bonus action - Insult sword fighting is a thing
Weakened deflect missiles as a reaction - doing amazing things with a sword
Dodge as a bonus action - How do they keep missing with ranged attacks?
Fancy jumps to get through enemy spaces safely

There is nothing bad about this subclass at all. It fits the theme really well and would make a very fun character to roleplay, I just don't feel it would keep up with other pre-existing options.

[RickAsWritten]

Woo! I've got time for reviews!

Getting this going with a review of Magitech Mercenary.

Spoiler: Magitech Mercenary

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I'm not familiar with the Borderlands character, but I think I got a pretty good idea from the features you laid out. This feels like a high-tech soldier who isn't afraid to get their hands dirty.

Mechanics Comments

SNTNL -
Force Slug isn't quite a straightforward as it appears. You're using "weapon attack modifier" to determine its bonus to hit, but which weapon attack modifier does this refer to? You probably want to specify an ability modifier + proficiency bonus. You could do something like 2x PB instead if you wanted to keep it simple to read.

Good point. I ripped most of the stat block from Tasha's and boogered the revision when porting it to Fighter. Will change.

Barrier -

This piece is confusing. I don't think I understand why your position in relation to the barrier matters. It seems like it would be easier to say "The barrier provides half cover to creatures behind it." In addition, the wording you've got also implies that creatures can't normally attack or cast spells thorugh the barrier.

As something else to consider, what happens when you are directly to the side of the barrier?

Yeah, I really struggled with transitioning this to 5e game terms. I was concerned that simply stating "creatures behind it" would be too simple, but I will edit it. Probably add something about "you choose a front and back of the Barrier and all creatures behind it gain the bonuses."

SNTNL/Barrier/Kill Skill -
Every creature has at least one hit die, so the bit in parenthesis doesn't have any functional impact.

This is my defense-against-the-bag-of-rats-trick clause. All creatures have at least 1 hit die, but a creature that has more than one is going to be more difficult to kill and would require time and resources to "bag of rats."

Thanks for the feedback, lotsa good points. I made notes in italics in the spoiler.

[Snowben Gaming]

I was just getting ready to put the voting thread up when I noticed that I accidentally posted this contest for 3 weeks instead of the customary 4. Extending it an extra week for free, so if you had any edits in the work go ahead and put them up now!

Huh. Cool. I guess I've got time have a proper look at all of the earlier entries (although I'm not sure there's much left to be said.), but first: I have some feedback to respond to.

I'm not familiar with the source material. This becomes relevant immediately because at the Dragonstone Transformation section I go "huh, why would dragon powers give you spears and blasts of arcane energy? Why not claws or wings of breath weapons or something connected to dragons? But I'm sure that there is a good connection to the actual inspirational lore here.

Yeah, Corrin (the inspiration) is... weird, all of their dragon powers are water based (but it's specifically magical because it scales with their magic stat, hence force damage, as it has no other defining characteristics that would suggest another damage type. If anyone has a better idea for a damage type, then I'm all ears though) and their arm literally becomes a weird magical energy-based spear-looking thing with stands of... dragon flesh(?) (something physical growing out of them at any rate) wrapped around it.

Resistance to force damage is exceptional, and on a monster this would make it a strong feature, as force is the damage type you use to hit highly resistant things. But on a PC I think it's quite a fair passive ability, not that many enemies that do force damage. Again, doesn't sound as dragony to me as resistance to fire or lightning or acid or... but enough about my lack of literacy.

Yeah, I'm glad it's not too OP to just give force resistance flat out, I figured it wouldn't be due to force's rarity, but I just though I'd check.

The natural weapon counting as magical is fine or even overdue by 10th level, a fighter should do magic weapon damage by then. Especially since the damage is only 1d6, this weapon can certainly use any advantage you can give it.

I think there is a good case to be made for making the arcane blast a bit less strong but removing the restrictions on when you can use it as well (ends your transformation, later on can be used without doing this ones per day). That may provide some flexibility that players may really enjoy. Balance wise I think the current version is good though.

Hmm... good points. I guess I could probably swap the 7th and 10th level abilities around? But I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the other part of dragonfang (arcane blast not ending the transformation and especially being able to substitute it for the last attack from your extra attack) at 7th level.

Arcane Blast's limitations are because Corrin uses the attack it's based on exclusively as a finisher move in a combo they can do (which is why it's the last attack) and they always ends his transformation after the attack (although they do revert back after his normal attacks as well, so I could remove the bit about it ending your transformation as long as I decrease the damage a bit, as enabling it to be used as part of extra attack is still a good feature in its own right.) But I think I'm gonna leave it alone. For now, at least.

The natural weapon was originally 1d8, but I changed it because it's a light weapon, so you can dual wield (the highest damage a light weapon does is 1d6 iirc). I could always increase its damage back up to 1d8 at 7th or 10th level. Probably 7th and leave the features where they are.

The amount of transformations per day is maybe a little wonky. It starts at three and becomes "unlimited, but no spamming arcane blast" at level 15. I think there is something to be said for a more gradual scale. Maybe start at two per long rest, than one more per short rest at level 7 and than the level 15 power at level 15.

Fair enough, I modelled the uses off the samurai's fighting spirit, although that's probably a terrible idea based on the power difference between the two. I'm not sure how I feel about the certain amounts of uses being regained on different rests though, as that just seems wrong to me, unless you mean something like the wizard's arcane recovery (you still have the same amount of uses but you can regain one on a short rest, but you can only do so once per long rest), in which case, that seems ok. I'll definitely do something about the number of uses though. Proficiency mod uses perhaps? And I've just realised that the transformation is much more in line with the barbarian's rage than it is with anything a fighter subclass gets (albeit with drastically different abilities than rage), and that barbarians don't get unlimited rages until level 20. So now I'm wondering if giving effectively unlimited uses (technically not unlimited as you only get an extra one back when you roll initiative, so if you're in a combat that lasts more than 1 min, you could run out) is way too powerful, so I might limit the initiative recovery to once or twice per long rest and increase the uses of the transformation gradually.

Level 18 seems like a good martial capstone. Your equipment merging with you is even a bit of a penalty sometimes. Given that this is at level 18 I probably wouldn't mind if they could just have this as their every transformation instead of once per day, with maybe only the complete immunity to force damage reduced. But even that's pretty okay in the grand scheme of things. Size large is a little underwhelming for a d&d dragon, but on the other hand I get that from a player perspective it's not great to grow to huge or larger inside a dungeon or such. Maybe an alternative could be giving people a choice at character creation to make the dragon form two size categories larger than their regular size, but then again that delegitimizes the concept that this is a full transformation, a fully transformed dragon shape shouldn't depend on your own size.

As for the equipment, I'm gonna change it to what druids get for wild shape (merge, wear or drop). As for uses of full transformation... I could make it all transformations, but I think I'd rather leave it as only a limited amount of transformations (although I could increase it). The size is based on Corrin as he becomes what I can only assume to be large.

Conclusion:I'm probably going to hold off from making any changes just yet, as I want to make sure any change I do make is better than just leaving it.

[Snowben Gaming]

Well, since I said I'd review them when they happened:

Spoiler: Metals of the Way of the Mists

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For the most part, all of these seem really cool to me, so I don't really have much to say about most of them, so I'll just comment on the ones that I do have actual feedback for.
Pewterarm: Pretty sure someone already mentioned this, but does the temp HP have a time limit or is it just until the next long rest?

Rioter: This counting as the attack action for flurry of blows seems a tad strong (but that may just be me), otherwise, this is fine.

Yeah... that's it from me. I thought I'd have more to say, but then I actually read the metals, and I didn't really have anything much to say.

[Twelvetrees]

Battling Bowman looks good, nickl_2000. I've been turning Emerald Archer over in my mind trying to find anything cheesy but haven't run across anything yet. One more small note: Is the Rocket Trick Shot supposed to increase to 2d8 and 3d8 at higher levels or was the switch from 1d8 to 2d6 and 3d6 intentional?

Magitech Mercenary makes more sense to me now, RickAsWritten. I think I may have misread the pieces about hit dice on my first read because I'm not seeing anything wrong with them when I took another look.


More reviews!

Spoiler: Library Sciences

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This has a fun flavor, but anything that summons a plethora of creatures makes me nervous. Action economy is king and tilting it in your favor can cause some wild swings in how difficult a fight is.

I'm interested to see the noncombat aspects of this one as well.


Mechanics

Collection of Tomes -
No. This blows the College of Lore's Bonus Proficiencies out of the water in comparison. This is equivalent to proficiency in every skill except Acrobatics, Athletics, Stealth, and Sleight of Hand. But better because it also gives expertise to anything you were already proficient in.

My advice would be to give this a certain number of uses or to copy the Lore Bard feature instead.

Loose Characters -
This is roughly equivalent to using Animate Dead to create skeletons, except at level 3 instead of level 5. It's ridiculously good when first acquired but becomes less and less useful as you continue to gain levels. I don't have good ideas on how to balance this because it has all the usual issues with summoning and trying to pare that back runs directly counter to the aim of this subclass.

Heroism and Villainy -
This preserves the usefulness of Loose Characters for a little longer. Like that feature, it starts out strong then gets less useful. I think I get what you were going for, but I think the Protagonist/Antagonist would need to continue to grow more powerful to really capture the feeling that you've made someone real.

This feature also opens up the option to Bless your party without needing to concentrate. You can create an Acolyte, have them Bless the party and then they can run away from combat. It's low on the cheese scale, but it definitely feels like cheese.

Worlds Collide -
This is cool, but confusing. A couple of comments:

When used in a void, thin air, or on the Astral Plane this feature creates a 40 ft radius sphere of terrain appropriate terrain including a breathable atmosphere and functional versions of structures or vehicles that would have been found there. You can use this feature once and regain its use when you complete a long rest or expend a spell slot of 7th level or above to use it again.

Emphasis mine. What does this mean? Can you create anything you like? If you create terrain in midair, does it fall?

If this effect doesn't target thin air/void/Astral Plane can it go through solid objects? Do you get to choose the terrain for the sections that don't mesh with objects? Can this pass through something like a wall of force?

Spoiler: Path of the Titan

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This is amazing and fits with barbarian really well. I knew I was predisposed to like this subclass when I started coming up with character ideas before I even finished reading it.

I love that it feels like a quintessential barbarian and does so in a way that is distinct from the Berserker.


Mechanics

Titan's Grip -
Gigantic weapons! This works well, especially because it acts like a miniature version of GWM, but I think your calculations from the Q&A section are missing one crucial point: This ability actively encourages using ASIs to bump Constitution instead of Strength. Barbarians already get more out of higher Constitution than any other class. If it increases their accuracy as well, that will probably tip the scale enough for people to make that choice.

Destroyer -
I'm not going to lie, I'm a sucker for terrain destruction. This ability hits the exploration pillar of the game in a way that few other abilities in the game do and makes my imagination churn with the possibilities.

Clash -
This feels really similar to the Berserker's Retaliation, except four levels earlier and better. Even with resistance from rage factoring in after you've already reduced the damage, you've still got a good chance to reduce the damage to zero.

Personally, I think a feature that allowed you to knock foes backwards would serve better at this level.

Titanic Mastery -
Titan's Reach is the only one of these that sticks out to me as unlikely to be chosen. I'm not seeing anything in particular with the rest. Titan's Reach conflicts with Clash and would work better with Sentinel and PM, but taking feats keeps your accuracy low. It's in an awkward spot right now in comparison to the rest and I think an attack ability like the other options would make it a more attractive choice.

Maybe something like adding a rider to knock creatures prone when you make a melee attack? You could limit it to once per turn if it feels too strong to get on every attack.

[nickl_2000]

Battling Bowman looks good, nickl_2000. I've been turning Emerald Archer over in my mind trying to find anything cheesy but haven't run across anything yet. One more small note: Is the Rocket Trick Shot supposed to increase to 2d8 and 3d8 at higher levels or was the switch from 1d8 to 2d6 and 3d6 intentional?

I spent a fair amount of time reading through spells on DNDBeyond to see what wouldn't make sense or would be broken. The most broken things I could think of either required costly components (Find Familiar, Revivify) or concentration (hex, hunter's mark, spirit guardians), or have a longer casting time (Find Steed), this the restrictions. Yet it still leaves lots of options open (suggestion, water breathing, cure wounds, catnap, darkvision, dispel magic, fireball, speak with dead). I think in a game the DM could open a few more options in a spell by spell basis, but how I limited it makes it more viable for general use. I actually see this as more of a utility ability than one that has direct combat implications, which is why I also give the 1 free trick shot and the ranged increments being doubled.

Thanks for noticing the Rocket Trick Shot, that is absolutely a copy/paste typo and wasn't intended.

[BerzerkerUnit]

[B]
More reviews!

Spoiler: Library Sciences

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This has a fun flavor, but anything that summons a plethora of creatures makes me nervous. Action economy is king and tilting it in your favor can cause some wild swings in how difficult a fight is.

I'm interested to see the noncombat aspects of this one as well.


Mechanics

Collection of Tomes -
No. This blows the College of Lore's Bonus Proficiencies out of the water in comparison. This is equivalent to proficiency in every skill except Acrobatics, Athletics, Stealth, and Sleight of Hand. But better because it also gives expertise to anything you were already proficient in.

My advice would be to give this a certain number of uses or to copy the Lore Bard feature instead.

Loose Characters -
This is roughly equivalent to using Animate Dead to create skeletons, except at level 3 instead of level 5. It's ridiculously good when first acquired but becomes less and less useful as you continue to gain levels. I don't have good ideas on how to balance this because it has all the usual issues with summoning and trying to pare that back runs directly counter to the aim of this subclass.

Heroism and Villainy -
This preserves the usefulness of Loose Characters for a little longer. Like that feature, it starts out strong then gets less useful. I think I get what you were going for, but I think the Protagonist/Antagonist would need to continue to grow more powerful to really capture the feeling that you've made someone real.

This feature also opens up the option to Bless your party without needing to concentrate. You can create an Acolyte, have them Bless the party and then they can run away from combat. It's low on the cheese scale, but it definitely feels like cheese.

Worlds Collide -
This is cool, but confusing. A couple of comments:

Emphasis mine. What does this mean? Can you create anything you like? If you create terrain in midair, does it fall?

If this effect doesn't target thin air/void/Astral Plane can it go through solid objects? Do you get to choose the terrain for the sections that don't mesh with objects? Can this pass through something like a wall of force?

Thank you for the feedback!
Collection
I think I will leave it, but require a minute for the benefit to kick in. Yes it’s still amazing, and yes those skills are usually only relevant when you’d have the extra minute, but it’s something a bad guy can take away.

Loose characters
It’s actually significantly worse than animate dead in most respects. Skeletons don’t need to eat or breathe, send them down a hallway to see if it’s trapped is fine, they can’t talk back. The group of helpers this summons can do a most things (certainly fewer problems in towns) but they’re still people. Admittedly when you get it they’ll be amazing till level 7 or so, but then they’re practically the Knight background feature.

Heroism and Villainy
As I recall this also turned your NPC into a turret for your spells? I think that and some of the other options (thug pack tactics) are good enough, especially since the Acolyte can throw some buffs and heals.

Worlds Collide
as written should probably be used as it states otherwise you’re asking the DM to make up rules for it.
so yes, you could summon a small island in the air and drop it. If I were the DM I’d just turn the 8d10 force into 8d10 bludgeoning and create rough terrain (a downgrade from the mandatory half move without acrobatics check and loss of cover).

No, you don’t get to choose what gets hit beyond “not these creatures.” So it’s pretty cool to go to a town besieged by undead and drop it stating “no living creatures” and nuke just the monsters, though the townies might not appreciate how a whole bunch of fantasy houses are sticking out of their houses at odd angles with corpses or undead fused into them afterward.

It’s utility really ends at “basic equipment, vehicles, and shelters in places where none exist” and in combat it creates a damage dealing restraining obstacle course.

I will try and tighten up the language though.

[Phhase]

Some minor Pyro tweaks:

Burn damage at the end of the turn rather than the beginning.
Stipulation for ignition is now "Once per spell, per creture, per turn", so that a creature hit by 5 Flaming Missiles is set on fire once, but hitting someone with a weapon set on fire by Arcane Weapon 2 turns in a row adds 2 burn.

Interesting note - if you're out of spell slots, you could use alchemist's fire to trigger Slice the Wick!

[Twelvetrees]

Speaking of the Pyro, I've got a review for it.

Spoiler: Pyromaniac

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This is going to be silly, isn't it? Oh, good.

I'm surprised at the choice of sorcerer for the chassis, given that spells will give the character many more options than burning everything to a crisp. I feel like it dilutes the strength of the concept, but it's time to find out.

Mechanics

Flame Magic -
This is useful for getting fire-themed spells but given the subclasses in Tasha's I'm surprised you're not giving these as bonus spells known.

When all you have is a match -
I'm not sure this is a benefit at all. It makes your magic really hot and burning, but devils and anything fire resistant or immune are going to give you nightmares.

Consuming Inferno -
The longer a fight goes, the better this is. Its baseline use is worse than the Draconic sorcerer's Elemental Affinity, but given enough time, it's better. I'm cautiously saying this is balanced, but this is an ability I'd be keeping a close eye on in an actual game.

Slice the Wick -
I'm confused by this feature. Can you explain it? Most sorcerers aren't going to be great with weapons and nothing else in this subclass makes you better with them. Everything else focuses on your spells. Could this be replaced by some sort of spell attack in melee?

Everything Burns -
Soulflame and Magnesius Rage are obviously the best choices among the bunch. Imposing conditions at will that can't be saved against and have to be removed with an action is extremely strong. At a minimum, if you don't change the effects in any other way, I think they need saving throws to remove the penalty at the end of their turn. Soulflame could likely be limited to one type of save instead.

Here's one for the Way of the Mists as well.

Spoiler: Way of the Mists

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It's always interesting to see allomancer homebrew because it's so difficult to do right. The sheer number of options are hard to fit into a subclass and they aren't really balanced against one another, so I'm looking forward to seeing what approach you took.

Mechanics

Allomantic Reserves and Augur -
No real comments here. More ki, some healing, and boosts to saves feels like typical monk features.

Atium -
Given that Thief rogues get a very similar ability at the same level and can use it every fight, I see no issue with making this recharge on short rests.

The Metals -
Pewterarm: That's a lot of temporary hit points you can give to yourself, especially if you have any ki points left over before you take a short rest. It almost doubles your effective hit points, which means it's probably too strong. I'd suggest limiting how many ki points you can spend on this or making the temporary hit points vanish after an hour to prevent spamming it before resting.

Smoker: How would a creature not be aware that their spell was foiled if they were using something like Detect Thoughts on a creature in the cloud?

Copper and Bronze: Unless you need to boost your party's Stealth, these don't appear to be that attractive of options in comparison to the other options. They give benefits in specific situations only, unlike many of the other metals and could use a boost.