MTG - You Make The Card VIII: Escape - Exile 7 MTG topics to create this thread

[ben-zayb]

Infected Lotus 0
Artifact M
T, Sacrifice ~: Add three mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell with mana value less than the amount of poison counters you have.
The sudden reappearance of lotuses was thought of by sages to be good omen.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Thallium Fang Chimera - 4
Artifact Creature - Chimera Equipment C
Deathtouch
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch.
Reconfigure 2B
Reconfigure onto Chimera 0
2/2

[Personification]

Spoiler: mystic1110

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The Table of the Compass Rose 3
Legendary Artifact R
At the beginning of your upkeep you may pay 2 and tap a knight you control. If that tapped knight was white you may destroy target red or black creature. If that tapped knight was black you may destroy target white or green creature.

I like the throwback to the old Paladin Mega-Mega-Cycle, and I like the direction you are going, but I think the card is just too swingy. on its own it does nothing, but if you have a black and white knight on the battlefield, you can kill up to two creatures every turn for two generic mana. Part of the design, and I would argue flavor, of the original cycle was a very heavy mana investment. They all cost 2MM and the abilities all cost MM, which helped balance them and discouraged you from playing both sets at the same time.

Spoiler: Quiddle

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Infested Adept 1GG
Creature - Elf Druid Mutant U
When Infested Adept enters the battlefield create a 1/1 green insect token.
Whenever an insect you control dies put a +1/+1 counter on an elf you control.
2/3
The Wirewood provides a home for those in need, who are we to not follow suit.

As far as I can tell, this is a reference to the general relationship between elves and insects in the Wirewood, and possible Magic's tendency to use insects along +1/+1 counters and the word "infest", and not a specific card. Because Wirewood Symbiote is a pretty common include in elves decks, I don't think this is the deepest of cuts, but it isn't super common knowledge either. As for the mechanic of the card, I like it, though it does sort of imply two opposing directions of deckbuilding.

Spoiler: Misothene

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Cannelbrae Bog
Legendary Land- Swamp R
(T: Add B)
Cannelbrae Bog enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Target land becomes a Swamp until end of turn.
4BB, T, Sacrifice Cannelbrae Bog: Exile target creature. Create a 3/3 black Wraith creature token with swampwalk.
Sometimes dead is better, they say,
About those gone lost in Cannelbrae.

I've got to admit, this probably is the deepest cut here. I had to look this one up, and now I want to know why you, apparently, have the flavor text of Bog Wraith memorized. As for the mechanics, I really like how they match the flavor of the reference, and I like how the second ability makes the wraith better. The third ability might be a bit too strong at instant speed, though. Many modern lands that sac to make creatures are sorcery speed, and basically all land-based creature removal is, so having both at the same time at instant is probably too much, even with the downsides of it being legendary and high cost.

Spoiler: ben-zayb

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Infected Lotus 0
Artifact M
T, Sacrifice ~: Add three mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell with mana value less than the amount of poison counters you have.
The sudden reappearance of lotuses was thought of by sages to be good omen.

Neither Black Lotus nor Phyrexia are particularly deep cuts, but both are references that everybody loves. As for the mechanics, I feel like the card falls into the eternal problem with lotus rewrites: as it is, I'm pretty sure it does nothing, and if it doesn't do nothing, I'm pretty sure that it will be broken in half and overpowered. That said, I like the concept.

Spoiler: Dr.Gunsforhands

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Thallium Fang Chimera - 4
Artifact Creature - Chimera Equipment C
Deathtouch
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch.
Reconfigure 2B
Reconfigure onto Chimera 0
2/2

This is another one I had to luck up and is probably a deeper cut than the Bog Wraith, which has been reprinted several times. I like that you sort of finished the cycle, adding one that has a black ability to the four with abilities in the other colors. I also really like how you reinterpreted the cycle through a modern lens. Honestly, my only real thought is that maybe it should be uncommon, because I am picturing a set where this cycle is printed at common and everyone can easily assemble 10/10 vigilant flampling first strikers that can be rebuilt if killed and have no color requirement. On the other hand, each costs four mana and is a 2/2 on its own, so maybe it's fine.

Spoiler: Winner

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Dr.Gunsforhands with Thallium Fang Chimera

[Quiddle]

Dang, I knew I should have made a card for the weird faceless onslaught clerics!

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I'm hungry. Make an artifact card with the Food subtype!

[ben-zayb]

Secret Ingredient 3X
Artifact - Food R
When ~ enters the battlefield, sacrifice it and any number of Food tokens. You gain X life for each Food sacrificed this way. Exile ~.
"Today's secret ingredient is... BALOTH FLANK!"

[Misothene]

Humongous Ham Hock 1G
Artifact- Equipment Food C
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Equip 2
2, T, Sacrifice Humongous Ham Hock: You gain 3 life. Create an Equipment token named Hambone with "Equipped creature gets +1/+0" and "Equip 1."

[Quiddle]

Pharaoh Rocher 3
Artifact Creature - Food Zombie U
Embalm 2WB
2, Sacrifice Pharaoh Rocher: You gain 3 life.
3/1

[mystic1110]

Wheel of Cheese 4
Artifact - Vehicle Food R
When wheel of cheese deal damage to an opponent and you control no non-land permanents other than Wheel of Cheese and the creatures crewing it, as long as those creatures have a total power of 4 or less, and have no cards in hand, you win the game.
Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
1/1

[Misothene]

Wheel of Cheese 4
Artifact - Vehicle Food R
When wheel of cheese deal damage to an opponent and you control no non-land permanents other than Wheel of Cheese and the creatures crewing it and have no cards in hand, you win the game.
Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
1/1

Do with this information what you will, but since you can crew a vehicle multiple times and "overcrew" with every activation, it would be pretty easy to skirt the requirement that you have "nothing else" by just re-crewing with all your other creatures when it's about to get through, at least by my understanding.

[Bucky]

Greenhouse
Artifact Land - Food Forest Plains U
Greenhouse enters the battlefield tapped.
(T: Add G or W)
2, T, Sacrifice Greenhouse: You gain 3 life.

[Personification]

Edible Evidence 1WU
[A partially eaten cookie, with a blue, translucent illusion of the original uneaten cookie superimposed on top.]
Artifact - Clue Food U
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card and gain 3 life.
2, Sacrifice ~: Draw a card.
2, T, Sacrifice ~: Gain 3 life.

"Wait, did the detective say he had a hunch or a lunch?"

[mystic1110]

Do with this information what you will, but since you can crew a vehicle multiple times and "overcrew" with every activation, it would be pretty easy to skirt the requirement that you have "nothing else" by just re-crewing with all your other creatures when it's about to get through, at least by my understanding.

Thanks - tried to fix it in the combat trigger by having it check that the creature's crewing it have a power 4 or less. Not sure that works either . . .

[Tom the Mime]

Artifact Land

Has flashbacks

Cherry Bomb R
Artifact - Food U
2, Sacrifice ~: Deal 3 damage to target creature
2, T, Sacrifice ~: Gain 3 life.

[Laughing Dog]

Heroes' Feast G(G/W)W
Enchantment Artifact- Food Aura R
Enchant Creature
Whenever another food is sacrificed, enchanted creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
When ~ leaves the battlefield, creatures and plaveswalkers you control get hexproof and indestructible until the end of your next turn.
2, T, Sacrifice ~: You gain 3 life.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Spoiler: JUDGEMENT

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Secret Ingredient 3X
Artifact - Food R
When ~ enters the battlefield, sacrifice it and any number of Food tokens. You gain X life for each Food sacrificed this way. Exile ~.
"Today's secret ingredient is... BALOTH FLANK!"

Oh no. Math.

You'll need to pay six mana and sacrifice two other foods for this to match the efficiency of just sacrificing stuff normally. If you have more than that, then you're probably better off finding something like Affinity that cares about how many artifacts you're gathering on the battlefield, or like Vampire Scrivener that triggers each time one of them is used individually.

Humongous Ham Hock 1G
Artifact- Equipment Food C
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Equip 2
2, T, Sacrifice Humongous Ham Hock: You gain 3 life. Create an Equipment token named Hambone with "Equipped creature gets +1/+0" and "Equip 1."

I love it. I might argue that the bone should be a more dangerous weapon without the meat around it, but that's probably because I just saw a mystery show with an artificial bone that had a little sword inside of it.

Pharaoh Rocher 3
Artifact Creature - Food Zombie U
Embalm 2WB
2, Sacrifice Pharaoh Rocher: You gain 3 life.
3/1

One assumes that Bolas himself is eating these. He is still a big slavering lizard at the end of the day. This feels like it should have been a common - nothing to write home about even in limited, but handily assists with the food and Embalm mechanics in a theoretical universe where both exist at once.

Wheel of Cheese 4
Artifact - Vehicle Food R
When wheel of cheese deal damage to an opponent and you control no non-land permanents other than Wheel of Cheese and the creatures crewing it, as long as those creatures have a total power of 4 or less, and have no cards in hand, you win the game.
Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
1/1

There's a nonzero chance that this card will be printed verbatim in the next Un set and I'm not sure how I feel about that. The only thing that seems to be missing is the traditional sacrifice ability, which in this case would work as consolation if your combo doesn't quite come together in time.

Greenhouse
Artifact Land - Food Forest Plains U
Greenhouse enters the battlefield tapped.
(T: Add G or W)
2, T, Sacrifice Greenhouse: You gain 3 life.

On this plane, we eat the entire greenhouse. It's hard to imagine a whole cycle of these, and if it's not a cycle it should probably stick to mono-green.

Edible Evidence 1WU
[A partially eaten cookie, with a blue, translucent illusion of the original uneaten cookie superimposed on top.]
Artifact - Clue Food U
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card and gain 3 life.
2, Sacrifice ~: Draw a card.
2, T, Sacrifice ~: Gain 3 life.

"Wait, did the detective say he had a hunch or a lunch?"

I was going to say it's too expensive, but this is probably what Uro would be if physical cards could be nerfed.

Cherry Bomb R
Artifact - Food U
2, Sacrifice ~: Deal 3 damage to target creature
2, T, Sacrifice ~: Gain 3 life.

Simple, effective, and funny. The only thing preventing it from being printed is the life gain in red; shift the color pip to the damage ability's activation cost and you'd be golden.

Heroes' Feast G(G/W)W
Enchantment Artifact- Food Aura R
Enchant Creature
Whenever another food is sacrificed, enchanted creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
When ~ leaves the battlefield, creatures and plaveswalkers you control get hexproof and indestructible until the end of your next turn.
2, T, Sacrifice ~: You gain 3 life.

Did this need to be an aura? The whole effect comes together well but that part keeps bothering me for some reason.

TL;DR every single entry this week had very strong flavor, which I probably should have expected! Looking back, though, I do think I have a personal flavorite I mean favorite:

Spoiler: It's this one!

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Misothene's Humongous Ham Hock!

[Misothene]

Thanks, doc! I guess a ham hock a day keeps the doctor... happy?

Alright, this week it's time to go fast! Make a card that has or references Dash and/or Blitz!

By "reference," I mean it should have rules text that involves the game terms "Dash" or "Blitz," for example "whenever you pay a Dash cost" or "creatures with Blitz get..."

[Personification]

Aliqa, Who Brings the Crave 2B
[Kolaghan Watermark]
Legendary Creature - Human Coward M
Defender, haste
Each creature card in your hand with Dash has Blitz and loses Dash. The Blitz cost is equal to its Dash cost.
T: The next creature you cast this turn with Blitz has a Blitz cost of RR.
3/2
Under Kolaghan, Alesha's people would eventually come to forsake the honor she cultivated, forswear the title she held, and forfeit their lives at the urgings of one upon whom the Dragonlord deigned to bestow a mockery of a name once chosen.

[Bucky]

Lightning Armorer 2R
Creature - Viashino Soldier U
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, if you cast it for its Blitz cost, you may have it deal 2 damage to another target creature.
Blitz 2RR (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)
2/2

[ben-zayb]

Prismtail Constrictor 1GG
Creature - Snake Shaman U
Flash, Blitz G
T: Add one mana of any color.
1/4

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Lukka, Devil Tamer - 2RR
Legendary Planeswalker - Lukka MR
Whenever a creature you control leaves the battlefield, put a loyalty counter on Lukka, Devil Tamer.
+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. If it's a creature card, it gains Dash R until end of turn.
-XXX: Untap X target creatures and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste and myriad until end of turn.
Loyalty: 3

[mystic1110]

Arm of the Law 2W
Enchantment R
Dash 3R - (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it’s returned from the battlefield to its owner’s hand at the beginning of the next end step.)
When Arm of the Law enters the battlefield, name a card.
Creatures with the chosen name can’t attack or block.
If Arm of the Law has haste it is a creature in addition to its other types and has base power and base toughness of 3/3.
"Sometimes the Law needs to take the law into its own hands."

[Quiddle]

Salt Elemental 2RR
Creature - Elemental R
Trample
Whenever a land enters the battlefield put a +1/+1 counter on Salt Elemental.
When Salt Elemental deals combat damage to a player you may sacrifice it, if you do destroy target land an opponent controls.
Dash 1RR
3/3

[Tom the Mime]

Dashing Rogue 2UR
Creature - Human R
Dash 2RR
When ~ enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature as long as ~ remains on the battlefield. It gains haste until end of turn.
2/2

Deliberately removed the untap part off the act of treason effect if the dash cost is paid to make more counterplay possible so the cost doesn't need to go up due to repeatability.

[Laughing Dog]

Ballroom General RB
Creature- Vampire Noble- R
Menace
Blitz XRBB
When ~ enters the battlefield, if the blitz cost was paid you may return up to X number of creatures from your graveyard to the battlefield. They gain haste until end of turn. Sacrifice them at the begining of the next end step.
From the back, he yelled "Everyone attack!"
2/2

[Necroticplague]

Hit the Ground Running R1
Enchantment C
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if it was cast for its dash cost, that creature deals damage equal to its power to any target.

[Misothene]

Spoiler: Personification- Aliqa, Who Brings the Crave

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Aliqa, Who Brings the Crave 2B
[Kolaghan Watermark]
Legendary Creature - Human Coward M
Defender, haste
Each creature card in your hand with Dash has Blitz and loses Dash. The Blitz cost is equal to its Dash cost.
T: The next creature you cast this turn with Blitz has a Blitz cost of RR.
3/2
Under Kolaghan, Alesha's people would eventually come to forsake the honor she cultivated, forswear the title she held, and forfeit their lives at the urgings of one upon whom the Dragonlord deigned to bestow a mockery of a name once chosen.

You took up the challenge of referring to both, and the package is quite interesting. Replacing Dash with Blitz is cool, if quite narrow- this could only really be printed in something like a Masters or Modern Horizons set, so it would have to come with a lot of new Dash cards to make the effect feel like it does much.

Spoiler: Bucky- Lightning Armorer

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Lightning Armorer 2R
Creature - Viashino Soldier U
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, if you cast it for its Blitz cost, you may have it deal 2 damage to another target creature.
Blitz 2RR (If you cast this spell for its blitz cost, it gains haste and "When this creature dies, draw a card." Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.)
2/2

I like this a lot. It offers the one-time shock with its own Blitz cost, or can come down on turn 3 to be an enchantment-like effect for future Blitzes. The fact that Blitzers aren't repeatable keeps this from being oppressive while still being a powerful enabler (in a limited archetype, at least).

Spoiler: ben-zayb- Prismtail Constrictor

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Prismtail Constrictor 1GG
Creature - Snake Shaman U
Flash, Blitz G
T: Add one mana of any color.
1/4

I feel like this might have benefited from having 0 power, as the use case of killing one-toughness attackers and drawing a card for G (or less, effectively) is probably more efficient than necessary.

Spoiler: Dr.Gunsforhands- Lukka, Devil Tamer

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Lukka, Devil Tamer - 2RR
Legendary Planeswalker - Lukka MR
Whenever a creature you control leaves the battlefield, put a loyalty counter on Lukka, Devil Tamer.
+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn. If it's a creature card, it gains Dash R until end of turn.
-XXX: Untap X target creatures and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste and myriad until end of turn.
Loyalty: 3

The + ability is really cool, and the synergy of Dashing with the loyalty-gaining ability is a nice touch. I do feel like, though, it might be too easy to just sacrifice a bunch of tokens and Myriad-Insurrection everyone with everything which would make that the primary use-case of the card.

Spoiler: mystic1110- Arm of the Law

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Arm of the Law 2W
Enchantment R
Dash 3R - (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it’s returned from the battlefield to its owner’s hand at the beginning of the next end step.)
When Arm of the Law enters the battlefield, name a card.
Creatures with the chosen name can’t attack or block.
If Arm of the Law has haste it is a creature in addition to its other types and has base power and base toughness of 3/3.
"Sometimes the Law needs to take the law into its own hands."

Very interesting idea at the heart of this card, and the white and red parts obviously play quite differently. But, at the end of the day, it's usually Pacifism with slight upside or Goblin Heelcutter that you can only dash. Cool to combine them on one card, but neither is all that exciting on its own.

Spoiler: Quiddle- Salt Elemental

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Salt Elemental 2RR
Creature - Elemental R
Trample
Whenever a land enters the battlefield put a +1/+1 counter on Salt Elemental.
When Salt Elemental deals combat damage to a player you may sacrifice it, if you do destroy target land an opponent controls.
Dash 1RR
3/3

Ok, putting Dash on the salt thing was funny to me, kudos on the subtlety. I do think, though, making this usable on turn 3 would make opponents a little too salty, since it sets their mana back while still pushing damage through- I've played in ancient standard environments with 3-MV land destruction, and it's brutal.

Spoiler: Tom the Mime- Dashing Rogue

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Dashing Rogue 2UR
Creature - Human R
Dash 2RR
When ~ enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature as long as ~ remains on the battlefield. It gains haste until end of turn.
2/2

I like not-untapping, but given that you don't ever have to attack with this thing itself, the repeatability could still get pretty oppressive, forcing your opponent to try and win a rigged race and not being vulnerable to sorcery-speed removal. This design might have been better with Blitz to avoid the repetitive play pattern and just give the choice of perma-steal or threaten.

Spoiler: Laughing Dog- Ballroom General

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Ballroom General RB
Creature- Vampire Noble- R
Menace
Blitz XRBB
When ~ enters the battlefield, if the blitz cost was paid you may return up to X number of creatures from your graveyard to the battlefield. They gain haste until end of turn. Sacrifice them at the begining of the next end step.
From the back, he yelled "Everyone attack!"
2/2

Really strong effect on that Blitz cost, especially since it comes tacked-on to a menace bear, and Blitz guarantees you'll get a card back. You also, notably, don't exile the resurrected stuff, making this repeatable. I think the Blitz could stand to cost 1 or 2 more to avoid making reanimated ETB/death triggers too strong, or maybe include a mana-value restriction on the targets.

Spoiler: Necroticplague- Hit the Ground Running

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Hit the Ground Running R1
Enchantment C
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if it was cast for its dash cost, that creature deals damage equal to its power to any target.

I like that it's a powerful enabler for a dash-heavy strategy, but it might be too good, since you can choose not to attack with your dashers (or play them second main phase, if they have to attack) and thereby gain the ability to repeatedly kill anything your opponent plays (or, like, your opponent, unblockably). This one might have been better as a Blitz enabler rather than Dash, since you can't just keep those in your hand to replay every turn due to the self-sacrifice clause in Blitz.

Spoiler: Winner

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I'll go with Bucky's Lightning Armorer. Cool ideas all around, thanks to everyone for submitting!

[Bucky]

Pretending that the next revealed set takes place in a plane-spanning Great War patterned loosely after World War I (but more magical), design a card to be revealed in the first preview article.

[Quiddle]

Not Coming Home 1BB
Sorcery U
Destroy target creature, its controller mills 3.

[ben-zayb]

Klotilde of the Rainbow Skies 3W
Legendary Creature - Dwarf Pilot R
Whenever a Vehicle becomes crewed for the first time each turn, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each color among Vehicles you control.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 1. If you do, create a 1/1 Vehicle artifact token with flying and crew 1, and is the color of mana paid this way.
1/3