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  1. - Top - End - #301
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    There was a ninja hiding in the box the entire time. He kills you while you’re trying to set it up.

    I roll to summon a bunch of pirates to fight off the ninjas.
    LGBTitp

  2. - Top - End - #302
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You summon a bunch of clowns to hit them with rubber chickens and throw cream pies at them.

    I roll to send the clowns back to the circus.

  3. - Top - End - #303
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by bug_sniper View Post
    You summon a bunch of clowns to hit them with rubber chickens and throw cream pies at them.

    I roll to send the clowns back to the circus.
    You get to the demon clown circus but the clowns are gone..

    I roll to set the thread on fire
    Last edited by totadileplayz; 2021-04-11 at 12:53 PM.

  4. - Top - End - #304
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You forgot that your dad invested in special non-flammable shaving cream.

    I roll to pass the demon clown college entrance exam.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  5. - Top - End - #305
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    You forgot that your dad invested in special non-flammable shaving cream.

    I roll to pass the demon clown college entrance exam.
    You do so poorly, you're arrested.

    I roll to go to a very fancy French restaurant, speak perfect French, and be the epitome of a classy, respectful restaurant-goer!

  6. - Top - End - #306
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Jan 2021
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    Post Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You say "Baguette." over and over again and get kicked out.

    I roll to dissipate the "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!1!1" meme once and for all.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele

    Currently DMing: Curse of (super sexy) Strahd


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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  7. - Top - End - #307
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Sounds kinda sus, not gonna lie.

    I roll to toss georger out the airlock.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

    [Nexus characters, grouped by setting:
    Ouroboros: here
    Maesda: here
    Others: here
    ]

  8. - Top - End - #308
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    "Why is my name red this time?"

    I roll to make some coffee.

  9. - Top - End - #309
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    georger0171's Avatar

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    Jan 2021
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    Post Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You accidentally put coffee beans in the teakettle, causing a nuclear explosion and a rip in reality.

    I roll to use epic-level Mystic Theurge skills to seal the rift.
    get dunked on lol

    Epic avatar by linkele

    Currently DMing: Curse of (super sexy) Strahd


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    If you are reading this, then you have some serious dedication.

  10. - Top - End - #310
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You release the Snarl.

    I roll to create a new universe.
    LGBTitp

  11. - Top - End - #311
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Sep 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    You release the Snarl.

    I roll to create a new universe.
    No New Universes may ever be created, all that remains is nothingness.

    I Roll to embrace the nothingness.

  12. - Top - End - #312
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You hug yourself. Not even the void will hug you.

    I roll to find a new reality.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

    [Nexus characters, grouped by setting:
    Ouroboros: here
    Maesda: here
    Others: here
    ]

  13. - Top - End - #313
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You discover the reality that you are anchored to this reality and cannot just find another reality.

    I roll to drop the anchor.

  14. - Top - End - #314
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You drop it on your foot.

    I roll to order a drink.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-04-23 at 09:45 AM.
    LGBTitp

  15. - Top - End - #315
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I roll to order a drink.
    You order a hungry bear. Hope you can run fast.

    I roll to save Dire Moose from any and all hungry bears.

  16. - Top - End - #316
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Sep 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    You order a hungry bear. Hope you can run fast.

    I roll to save Dire Moose from any and all hungry bears.
    Every and all hungry bears now eat exclusively dire moose. Apparently it's a great diet who knew?

    I roll to become an anime girl.

  17. - Top - End - #317
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by totadileplayz View Post
    I roll to become an anime girl.
    You become Homer Simpson, as I assume that is the polar opposite of anime girls.

    I roll to hit totadileplayz (who is now Homer Simpson) with a chair as they takes a bath.

  18. - Top - End - #318
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You slip on the wet, soapy floor, break your back, and drop the chair on your face.

    I roll to blow up the moon.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-04-26 at 10:23 PM.
    LGBTitp

  19. - Top - End - #319
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

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    Feb 2021

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Your tech ends up blasting you into orbit -making you an additional moon.

    I roll to make waffles.

  20. - Top - End - #320
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Hey doctor, I've got your next patient in the waiting room. Yeah, it's Mr. Wafflesforhands.

    I roll to bill the patient for the visit to Dr. Gunsforhands.

  21. - Top - End - #321
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You walk in too early, while the operation is still in progress. You take several bullets in the face.

    I roll to sue Dr. Gunsforhands for malpractice.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-05-06 at 10:59 PM.
    LGBTitp

  22. - Top - End - #322
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I roll to sue Dr. Gunsforhands for malpractice.
    You somehow sue yourself. You lose the case both as a defendant and the plaintiff (if that's even possible). You're sentenced to a million years in jail.

    I roll to break Dire Moose out of jail

  23. - Top - End - #323
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You manage to seal Dire Moose's room entirely in concrete... with yourself inside.

    I roll to tunnel in to rescue Dire Moose and Magic_Hat.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  24. - Top - End - #324
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You dig a tunnel straight to Hell instead. Asmodeus thinks your mistake is the funniest thing he’s ever seen.

    I roll to teleport myself out of this concreted cell.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-05-09 at 10:48 PM.
    LGBTitp

  25. - Top - End - #325
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Somehow you retroactively take conjuration as a prohibited school and lose the ability to teleport.

    I roll to call in an air strike.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  26. - Top - End - #326
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    The Air itself begins fighting you. You can not breathe, and your body is quickly cut to pieces, as the air becomes thirsty for the thirst of blood.

    I Roll to do a Doh! Moment.

  27. - Top - End - #327
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You forget about the spiked gauntlet you’re wearing when you smack yourself in the face.

    I roll to stop the bleeding.
    LGBTitp

  28. - Top - End - #328
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Bleeding increased to 150%

    I roll to understand this weird letter I got about somehow winning a lawsuit I don't remember being involved with?
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  29. - Top - End - #329
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Aug 2006
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    London, UK

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You recall a nightmare about losing a lawsuit which prohibited you from wearing any clothes. You somehow believe this to be true and then you go out in public.

    I roll to find him an emergency tailor.

  30. - Top - End - #330
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You find Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor, who decides the best way to help is with power tools. He manages to accidentally saw himself in half with a reciprocating saw while turning Dr. Gunsforhands's gun hands into nail guns.

    I roll to gather up all the stray nails so nobody steps on one.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

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