The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

[BaconTomato]

You get flogged by a mysteriously-tolerated whip-wielding lawyer.

I roll to roll a die.

[Ironsmith]

You do a perfect flip. Right off the roof.

I roll to find a pot of gold.

[georger0171]

You are mauled viciously by a pack of wild leprechauns.

I roll to recurse.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You are re-cursed!

I roll to change a tire.

[Dire Moose]

You fail to set the car jack properly. The car falls on you and crushes you.

I roll to craft a magic sword.

[georger0171]

You craft a cursed butter knife.

I roll to do something completely safe.

[Ironsmith]

You lock yourself inside a safe. An airtight, nigh-impregnable, otherwise empty safe.

I roll to barrel.

[Book Wombat]

You end up hanging by a fraying rope over a forest fire from a broken helicopter piloted by a blind person inside a hailstorm.

I roll to save George.

Well damn it.

You bowl instead.

I roll to sleep.

[georger0171]

You OD on sleeping pills.

I roll to compose some music!