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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    As before, from the original thread:

    “There will be a posted skill check for a specific action each player will be taking, and the poster below you has to post a result from rolling a 1, or crit-failing, that took effect from their skill check. After that, the poster then posts a new skill check scenario.

    For example, lets say the poster above you said that there is a skill check they are making to push an orc off a bridge. The poster below them would say that they rolled a 1, and instead they lightly caressed his back.”

    ---------------------------------------------

    +5 Vorpal Bunny successfully creates a new thread. However, he accidentally sets it on fire.

    I roll to put out the fire!

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Quote Originally Posted by bug_sniper
    Fire is technically an oxidation reaction and so you basically need electronegative molecules. So with hot chlorine, you can make fires that are really nasty to put out because they produce hydrochloric acid vapors that burn through the insulated suits.

    Anyways, as for your roll, you devise an icepack that doesn't need any water. It's basically a frozen pillow.

    I roll a spot check to find an icepack in the freezer.
    You aren’t even looking in your freezer, so you actually pull a live badger out of its burrow and put it right up to your face. It starts clawing and biting you.

    I roll to remove the badger.
    LGBTitp

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    I remove the badger... who is also on fire!

    I roll to cook the badger for dinner.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You start by marinating yourself in gasoli- waaaaaaait a minute.

    I roll to tackle this guy before he immolates himself.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Your impact ignites me and we both go up in flames! Yuuum, cannibal's barbeque!

    I roll in the snow to put us both out!

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You wake up the Abominable Snowman and he eats you.

    I roll to slay the Abominable Snowman with my +1 Sword of Stabbing.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-01-03 at 10:14 PM.
    LGBTitp

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You mix up your +1 Sword of Stabbing with your +1 Quill of Witty Insults. You end up hurting the Abominable Snowman's feelings instead of his vitals, and he retaliates by eating you as well.

    I roll to cut the Snowman open with my trusty dagger and save these two.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  8. - Top - End - #8
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    In your pocket, you had a candy cane instead of a dagger. It's not very effective in melee, even if you sharpen it with your tongue.

    I roll to build a candy factory.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Book Wombat's Avatar

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    Jan 2017
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    Germany

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You somehow create an anti-candy army which seeks out all confectionary creations and destroys them in a volcano.

    I roll to save as many sweets as possible.
    . .-. .-. --- .-. / ....- ----- ....- ---... / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / -. --- - / ..-. .. -. -.. / --.- ..- . ... - .. --- -. / ---... -.--.-

    Discord: Bookwhyrm#4020, feel free to DM.
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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    They should be nice and safe in this volcano.

    I roll to make more sweets.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You end up with a prosperous vegetable garden instead.

    I roll to grow a spaghetti tree.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  12. - Top - End - #12
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You attract a cult dedicated to the Flying Spaghetti Monster who wants to use your spaghetti tree to awaken the Old Ones.

    I roll to stop their eldritch ritual.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You somehow end up as the cult's high priest, and the ensuing ritual awakens a Great Old One with you as the host body.

    I roll to escape the cosmic horror that has possessed +5 Vorpal Bunny.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    *chomp*

    I roll ro avoid being similarly eaten.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.


    *gushes unintelligibly over our cat, Sunshine*

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Technically, you succeed- you run into a completely different mouth, thus getting eaten in a different way. Still devoured, though.

    I roll to join the previous two in getting eaten by the eldritch horror.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  16. - Top - End - #16
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Jan 2016

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    The eldritch horror tosses you out of the pit of live animal offerings and eats the other animals whole. It won't oblige your suicidal desires.

    I roll a will save to keep my sanity intact through this Lovecraftian episode.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    All of your perceived reality collapses into a single point, an immutable, undeniable truth that you can't help but live out for the rest of your crazed days - the inescapable axiom that there's nothing yummier than a peanut butter and toenail sandwich.

    I roll Astrogation to chart a hyperspace course for my X-Wing that takes us away from this madness
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You navigate us right into Abeloth's maw instead! Yeah, out of the frying pan and into the fire...

    I roll to activate the Gellar Field before jumping into the Warp.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    Due to a sudden tachyon surge in the warp nacelles, the phase inducers completely depolarize and cause a subspace inversion within the warp field, which collapses and causes a chain reaction in the plasma conduits leading to a warp core breach.

    I roll to beam the crew off the starship before it explodes.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-01-05 at 01:09 PM.
    LGBTitp

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You beam the entire crew directly into the center of a large asteroid hurtling through deep space. I'm not sure if they freeze, suffocate, or get shredded at a molecular level, but I do know it isn't pretty.

    I roll to go back in time and use my sonic screwdriver to lower the ambient tachyon levels of the warp nacelles, reversing the polarity and fixing this whole mess before it could even happen.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  21. - Top - End - #21
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Book Wombat's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You fail at the first step and time travel to the future instead, during that time your space coordinates got mixed up and you appear in deep space.

    I roll to rescue The Outsider from this predicament.
    . .-. .-. --- .-. / ....- ----- ....- ---... / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / -. --- - / ..-. .. -. -.. / --.- ..- . ... - .. --- -. / ---... -.--.-

    Discord: Bookwhyrm#4020, feel free to DM.
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  22. - Top - End - #22
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    I appear in a DeLorean and bring us back to the past. Judging by those giant feathered reptiles though, I may have sent us a bit far back...
    And what is that meteor doing over there?

    I roll to adjust the time travel coordinates to just before this whole Lovecraftian craziness went down.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You travel to the beginning of time itself and are immediately vaporized by the shockwave of the Big Bang.

    I roll to put the shattered pieces of the time-space continuum back together.
    LGBTitp

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    It's totally patchwork with tons of wormholes and different points in time and space overlapping each other and just in general wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.

    I roll to regenerate into a ginger.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You instead regenerate into a mass of ginger root. Tasty!

    I roll to start a flame in someone's heart.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


  26. - Top - End - #26
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2020

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    They get a really, really bad case of heartburn.

    I roll to build a phaser-blaster-bolter-sonic screwdriver supergun!

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    It explodes while you're taking your lunch break. It's not even a spectacular explosion...just more of a piff. But it leaves you with a metal pipe you can bang things with.

    I roll to tell the funniest joke ever heard.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    HERE LIES COMEDY
    DIED 2021
    THANKS A LOT, KORITH


    I roll to rebuild comedy.
    Last edited by Ironsmith; 2021-01-06 at 03:37 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    I don't get it.

    I roll to haggle over the price of a bauble.
    Nexusites, Dorothy, Yondalla.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Aug 2019

    Default Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

    You scream incoherently at the bauble vendor for a while, before throwing all your money at them and running away. Without the bauble.

    I roll to console the confused and traumatized bauble vendor.
    I can see it from the outside.
    And I know you're on the inside... lookin' out.


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