The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

[totadileplayz]

You Step on all of them, mission accomplished, however you lose your feet due to excessive injury.

I roll to replace Velaryon's feet with horse feet.

[paddyfool]

You try but the horse objects violently. You have to settle for putting horseshoes on Velaryon instead.

I roll to forge more horseshoes.

[Velaryon]

You create forged horseshoes. They look like real horseshoes but are made of aluminum and break easily.

I roll to take off the horseshoes and throw them away.

[Magic_Hat]

I roll to take off the horseshoes and throw them away.

You manage to not only make them more secure, but you get attached to them as well.

I roll to fake humans walking on Mars (because faking humans walking on the moon is already taken).

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Everyone recognizes the desert background from the original Star Trek series.

I roll to shoplift without getting caught on a security camera.

[bug_sniper]

Before you can even enter the shop, the shopkeeper blocks the doorway and tells you to go home because you look like a thief.

I roll to look presentable.

[paddyfool]

You wrap yourself in gift wrap, sellotape, bows and ribbons. The whole ensemble gets very messy and torn the moment you move, however, leading to a court case for indecent exposure.

I roll to dance the wild fandango.

[totadileplayz]

You Realize that you have no idea what that dance is and manage to put your home as a place for others to rent with all of the money going directly to Dictators. They Appreciate your anonymous support.

I roll to find a means to discover true faith.

[Dire Moose]

You try to plane shift to the heavens to see if the gods actually exist. You cast it wrong and end up in the Infinite Layers of the Abyss instead.

I roll to drive a train.

[Mariah]

You drive a train off a cliff into the molten core of the earth.

I roll to stop the train from going off the cliff.

[bug_sniper]

Most people aren't superman or superwoman or anywhere in between. But must be who you are since you intend to stop a train from flying off a cliff. Unfortunately, its cargo is full of kryptonite and so all that happens is that the cowcatcher tosses you aside.

I roll to walk across the floor from one side of the room to the other side.

[Dire Moose]

You somehow fail to notice the huge spinning saw blade in the middle of the room. You get chopped to bits.

I roll to keep myself from throwing up after seeing the resulting carnage.

[EmmyNecromancer]

You ended up getting chopped up by the spinning sawblades instead.

Roll to stop the sawblades from spinning.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

You tried to stop them with your bare hands. It didn't work. Now your hands are gone. It's possible that they're avoiding you out of embarrassment.

I roll to search for someone's missing hands.

[totadileplayz]

You tried to stop them with your bare hands. It didn't work. Now your hands are gone. It's possible that they're avoiding you out of embarrassment.

I roll to search for someone's missing hands.

You lose your hands.

I roll to cook the delicious hands i found in my cupboard.

[bug_sniper]

After you preheat the oven, you misplace your hands and can't find them. Also, while searching for them, you misplace your own hands on the oven racks forgetting to wear your mitts.

After putting myself back together somehow, I roll to jump out the window so that I don't have to walk across the floor that might have more deathtraps in it.

[paddyfool]

You step in a bear trap during your run up to the window and fall, smashing your face through the windowpane. The experience is unpleasant.

I roll to make a Swiss roll.

[Velaryon]

While trying to make one, you mistakenly bump into a Swiss man, who trips, falls, and rolls down a nearby hill.

I roll to clear up such misunderstandings so that they don't happen again.

[totadileplayz]

You have no made every sentence including this one possible to be perceived in 80 different ways and no one will agree to wish version it is.

I roll to see the light.

[Dire Moose]

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

I roll to use the Grue Repellent Bat-Spray.

[Velaryon]

You spray the entire bottle directly in a Grue's face. Every other Grue now avoids that one and comes after you instead.

I roll to lure the Grues into the sawblades.

[Rogan]

I roll to lure the Grues into the sawblades.

You run into the sawblades yourself.

I roll to hit the emergency stop to save Velaryon.

[Dire Moose]

You can’t see in the darkness, so you fumble around the control panel aimlessly. You crank the blades up to their maximum speed.

I roll to turn the lights back on.

[paddyfool]

In the darkness, you trip and fall and faceplant into a slice of Velaryon, getting a mouthful of intestines complete with predigested food.

I roll to use my phone as a flashlight.

[Velaryon]

You accidentally end up livestreaming the entire sequence of events involving the sawblades on social media, horrifying everyone you know and causing all your friends and family to think you're a demented sicko.

My disembodied spirit rolls to possess Dire Moose during the incident of accidental cannibalism.

[totadileplayz]

You accidentally end up livestreaming the entire sequence of events involving the sawblades on social media, horrifying everyone you know and causing all your friends and family to think you're a demented sicko.

My disembodied spirit rolls to possess Dire Moose during the incident of accidental cannibalism.

Your spirit further discorporates you are no longer anything.

I attempt to kick the grue's butt and save the day.

[georger0171]

You have been butt-kicked by a grue.

I roll to bring a more modern antagonist into this thread!

[Dire Moose]

You summon the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs.

I roll to stop the incoming meteor.

[paddyfool]

You are distracted by a highly evolved descendent of the no-longer-asteroided T Rex biting your head off.

I roll to send the asteroid back where it came from and restore the timeline.

[Velaryon]

You send the asteroid to the late 19th century, where it does basically the same thing it originally did 65.000,000 years ago, but in Victorian times instead of dinosaur times.

I roll to do nothing since I am nothing.