The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire

[ProgressPaladin]

You jump into a portal… one on the ground. With a connecting portal above it. Have fun!

I roll to set the thread on fire.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You jump into a portal… one on the ground. With a connecting portal above it. Have fun!

I roll to set the thread on fire.

You instead set everything except the thread on fire.

I roll to eat a tuna sandwich.

[ProgressPaladin]

In Soviet Russia, the sandwich eats you!

I roll to extinguish the fires.

[TheHalfAasimar]

In Soviet Russia, the sandwich eats you!

I roll to extinguish the fires.

The fire just becomes hotter.

I roll to not get eaten by the sandwich.

[ProgressPaladin]

The fire just becomes hotter.

I roll to not get eaten by the sandwich.

Two sandwiches eat you.

I roll to find the Kokiri Emerald

[TheHalfAasimar]

Two sandwiches eat you.

I roll to find the Kokiri Emerald

You find the Chaos Emeralds, a copy of Pokemon Emerald, and a normal emerald, but never the Kokiri Emerald.

I roll to find a way out of the sandwiches.

[ProgressPaladin]

You find the Chaos Emeralds, a copy of Pokemon Emerald, and a normal emerald, but never the Kokiri Emerald.

I roll to find a way out of the sandwiches.

In trying to find this so called “Way out” you wind up making more sandwiches. And then more sandwiches. And more. And more. You are surrounded by sandwiches.

I roll to burn the sandwiches.

[Dire Moose]

You light yourself on fire instead.

I roll to put the fire out.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You light yourself on fire instead.

I roll to put the fire out.

The fire becomes part of the 'in club' so while you successfully put it out of the 'out club,' it's now super annoying and stuck-up about how cool it is.

I roll to make the fire shut up.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

"No! You rolled a natural 1 and you still remembered my name? How could I be so easily defeated?!"

I roll to decide what to name this talking fire character.

[ProgressPaladin]

"No! You rolled a natural 1 and you still remembered my name? How could I be so easily defeated?!"

I roll to decide what to name this talking fire character.

You decide to leave it unnamed for now, as you have… writers block!

I roll to douse the talking fire.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You decide to leave it unnamed for now, as you have… writers block!

I roll to douse the talking fire.

With the last ounce of strength, ProgressPaladin threw the water balloon with all his might, throwing it all the way around the universe and hitting him in the back of the head, sending him toppling and falling into the fire, dousing it, but at what cost?

I roll to put you out.

[Dire Moose]

You try to put him out by pouring gasoline on him. Kaboom.

I roll to do a cover version of “We Didn’t Start The Fire.”

[ProgressPaladin]

You try to put him out by pouring gasoline on him. Kaboom.

I roll to do a cover version of “We Didn’t Start The Fire.”

You get sued for plagiarism.

I roll to stop the world from turnin’.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You get sued for plagiarism.

I roll to stop the world from turnin’.

This happens.

I roll to start it rolling again.

[Dire Moose]

You launch it into the sun by mistake.

I roll to escape the planet before it crashes into the sun.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You launch it into the sun by mistake.

I roll to escape the planet before it crashes into the sun.

You don't manage to escape the planet, but rather, the planet escapes you. You are sent flying into the sun while the Earth regains it's normal orbit.

I roll to save you.

[bug_sniper]

You save her a slice a pizza.

I roll to bake another pizza.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You save her a slice a pizza.

I roll to bake another pizza.

You attempt to bake a pizza, but it becomes a cream puff instead.

I roll to eat the cream puff.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

I roll to wash the cream out of TheHalfAasimar's Eye.

[TheHalfAasimar]

I roll to wash the cream out of TheHalfAasimar's Eye.

You wash out the entire eye, and none of the cream.

I roll to find it again.

[Dire Moose]

You find a nest of flesh-eating army ants. With your face.

I roll to save TheHalfAasimar by throwing Alchemist’s Fire on the ants.

[Smoutwortel]

You find a nest of flesh-eating army ants. With your face.

I roll to save TheHalfAasimar by throwing Alchemist’s Fire on the ants.

You hit TheHalfAasimar and yourself.

I roll to wash off the Alchemist fire.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You hit TheHalfAasimar and yourself.

I roll to wash off the Alchemist fire.

You wash it off. With gasoline.

I roll to get rid of the ants on my face.