DataNinja's Scintillating Digital Random Banter #231

[LaZodiac]

Hey, you said you wanted to write from experience. Experience with a sword is putting in a lot of work just to master the basics.

True, but sadly the only martial art club up here is Wado Ryu karate and Shindo, which while close isn't what I'm looking for. Though "martial art where you use a short staff" is pretty cool too...

And that's just for flynning and fencing(or Kendo)

If you want to actually use a sword in a real fight(I'm not sure why in this day and age) that might as well be a completely different skillset. Flynning you're aiming for the other guy's sword, not his body, and fencing(and kendo) have dedicated rules of engagement—it's the difference between a boxing match and a bar brawl.

True, but it's not the actual fighting I'm looking to do. I want to feel the weight of swinging a sword in combat, the rush of it, so I can better deliver on that feeling.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'd love to learn actual quarterstaff fighting. Staffs are cool. But I'm going to get back into unarmed stuff first.

Still trying to work out what kind of magic I want in my book, I'm thinking I might go very heavy on the enhanting and potions instead of actual spellcasting.

[Rater202]

Though "martial art where you use a short staff" is pretty cool too...

This is what I'm talking about.

Staves, clubs, poles, and spears are much more... intuitive weapons. Simple to use, easier to master, than a sword.

The trade-off being, of course, that's it's harder to make a study long-lasting weapon out of wood than it is to do one out of metal. Gotta find the right kind of tree, gotta cure, lacquer, brine, seal, and/or polish the wood to prevent warping or moisture decay.

Honestly, if I were to study an armed martial art I'd be interested most in bataireacht. Literally "stick-fighting" it's... Irish Stick Fighting. Grab the stick by the third, the long half being used offensively while the shout art protects your arm, allows for equal focus on defense and offense.

Get me a proper shillelagh, three-to-five feet of cured and polished oak blackthorne, and go to town.

And the best part is that the shillelagh is as much a walking stick as a cudgel and most places don't bat an eye at someone with a cane or walking stick, so if you ever find yourself needing to defend yourself...

English Cane fighting would be a second choice... It's basically fencing or dueling, but with a cane instead of a foil, rapier, or court sword. Mostly for the same reasons as bataireacht.

...I like walking sticks and fancy canes. Walking sticks and fancy canes are cool. I'm probably gonna need one when I get older. The fact that they can be used for self defence is a bonus.

[Bartmanhomer]

The quarterstaff is one of the best weapons for wizards and monks in history.

[Anonymouswizard]

The quarterstaff is one of the best weapons for wizards and monks in history.

You mean something that never existed and people who tended to be pacifists? (yes, even Daoist and Buddhist monks.)

[Lord Raziere]

True, but it's not the actual fighting I'm looking to do. I want to feel the weight of swinging a sword in combat, the rush of it, so I can better deliver on that feeling.

I mean if you can't or don't achieve that I have a recommendation: try playing Dark Souls. it really emphasizes the characters realistically moving with its weaponry, as unlike most other action rpgs it depends on slowing down and using your movements wisely, as every strike must count. the reason why its so hard and why people look at it in such high regard is because its so insistent on showing why shields are useful, how easily you can die in just a couple of hits, the value of exploiting back attacks and parrying to make an opening to deal more damage to a foe, and unrepentant in expecting you to master it all yourself fight after fight after fight, death after death without any help or easier mode to fall back on. like its probably a better depiction of sword fighting actually is than most, even if its not perfect.

[Bartmanhomer]

You mean something that never existed and people who tended to be pacifists? (yes, even Daoist and Buddhist monks.)

I have seen so many martial arts movies that people used a quarterstaff for fighting.

[Fyraltari]

You mean something that never existed and people who tended to be pacifists? (yes, even Daoist and Buddhist monks.)

"The best weapon for a pacifist" can be intrepeted either as the most laughable or the most terrifying weapon and I love it.

[Rater202]

"The best weapon for a pacifist" can be intrepeted either as the most laughable or the most terrifying weapon and I love it.

I feel obligated to bring up Civilization's take on Gandhi.

Spoiler

Show

The original Civilization glitched-out to hell becuase Gandhi's aggression defaulted to as low as it went, so anything that lowered it would make it loop around and make him as aggressive as it was possible to be.

In later games, they gave Ghnadi a disproportionately high tendency to use nukes compared to his tendency to go to war because everyone thought that Gandhi being willing to fire nukes at the drop of a hat was funny.

[Rawhide]

I feel obligated to bring up Civilization's take on Gandhi.


The original Civilization glitched-out to hell becuase Gandhi's aggression defaulted to as low as it went, so anything that lowered it would make it loop around and make him as aggressive as it was possible to be.

In later games, they gave Ghnadi a disproportionately high tendency to use nukes compared to his tendency to go to war because everyone thought that Gandhi being willing to fire nukes at the drop of a hat was funny.

Actually, that's totally not true.

[Fyraltari]

Actually, that's totally not true.

Nuclear Gandhi lives on in our radiation-poisonned hearts.

[Rater202]

our radiation-poisonned hearts.

...So, are we Hulks or are we ghouls?

[Peelee]

...So, are we Hulks or are we ghouls?

We are people with sunburns.

[Anonymouswizard]

I have seen so many martial arts movies that people used a quarterstaff for fighting.

I believe it's generally by people who aren't monks.

"The best weapon for a pacifist" can be intrepeted either as the most laughable or the most terrifying weapon and I love it.

You're implying that the two aren't the same thing. I'm sure if I was in the aftermath of a nuclear strike I'd have cracked and started cackling.

[Rater202]

We are people with sunburns.

You're no fun.

[Peelee]

You're no fun.

Excuse me, I'm fantastic. I could have made us all Radium Girls.

[Rater202]

Excuse me, I'm fantastic. I could have made us all Radium Girls.

That would require us all to be girls.

Some of us are decidedly male, some of us are in between, and some of answer the question with a non-committal shrug.

[Peelee]

That would require us all to be girls.

Spoiler

Show

[Rater202]

Spoiler

Show

...so you'd try to do it, but end up missing all four of your limbs and on fire?

[Peelee]

...so you'd try to do it, but end up missing all four of your limbs and on fire?

Of course not. I'd simply be radiation poisoned.

[Anonymouswizard]

If radiation switched your sex I'd have given myself cancer.

[Peelee]

If radiation switched your sex I'd have given myself cancer.

Nonono, it's me. I do it all. It's Peelees all the way down.

This joke kind of got away from me there.

[Anonymouswizard]

Nonono, it's me. I do it all. It's Peelees all the way down.

You're a turtle?

[Rater202]

If radiation switched your sex I'd have given myself cancer.

You know, that's a thing I've been thinking about for years.

(Warning: Marvel Interrupt.)

Third-Form gamma radiation, the source of a Hulk's powers, unless tampered with, gives you powers based on:

1. Your psychological issues(Bruce's transformations being tied to specific Alters is the obvious one, but the Hulk can see and touch ghosts and smell when people are lying... Becuase Bruce is subconsciously terrified that his father's ghost will come back for revenge after Bruce killed Brian in self-defense. And considering that Brian has done it three times, that's not an unfounded fear.)
2. Your repressed emotions: She-Hulk is based in part on Jennifer Walters repressed sexuality
3. Your unfulfilled and unacknowledged desires: She-Hulk's other half is Jen's desire to be strong and confident, while Doc Samson wanted to be a Superhero and gained a Superhero bod with a generic strength and toughness package
4. Minor personality quirks: Going back to Samson, Leonard Samson takes a lot of pride in his long hair, so his strength and toughness are directly proportionate to said hair's length.
5. An obsession: The Red Hulk initially looked nearly identical to green Hulk because General Ross hated Bruce Banner while being jealous and covetous of the Hulk's powers.
6. An Ironic Twist on one of the above: Samuel Sterns was mentally handicapped, learning disabled, or both(it depends on the writer) and as a Hulk is imbued with superhuman intelligence, being able to give himself the equivalent of multiple PHDs in a variety of scientific fields from self-study, but his mighty brain is disgustingly large and swollen and is heavy enough that he needs a steel brace to keep it from breaking his neck

Notably, Elizabeth Ross has gone on record that her "Red Harpy" form(a combination of her Harpy and Red She-Hulk forms) is the "real" her

So for the last couple of years, I've been wondering what happens if a trans or fluid or non-binary or agender person gets hit with enough Third Form gamma rays to become a hulk?

I imagine that it would vary from individual to individual, but I have to wonder if, in-universe, there aren't trans people who wonder if getting zapped with the right kind of raitiobn can make their outsides match their insides.

[Lord Raziere]

I imagine that it would vary from individual to individual, but I have to wonder if, in-universe, there aren't trans people who wonder if getting zapped with the right kind of radiation can make their outsides match their insides.

I mean magic is often technically a radiation. since it produces light and therefore wave-particles and whatnot. and magic does exist in marvel, even if there is a good argument for learned marvel magic being worse than third form gamma rays.

but really its comic book superscience. anything can happen with that. if it can give you physics defying superpowers with no rhyme or reason why those results aren't consistent across multiple people, giving people different things, then changing your sex is relatively benign, because while a wave/particle hitting you and change your sex is implausible and would mean there is a probably a lot of things we don't know about reality as we thought we did....its still changing your state to something we know is possible. something like wielding fire with your mind or whatever? much more out there.

but given how comic book super-science seems to be frozen in radioactivity being positive, I wonder if a possible version of a superhero tech world would just have radioactivity therapy where people just discovered tons of weird radiations for various effects:
"don't want nanorobotics invading your cells? try Sigma Radiation to change your sex! Kappa Radiation to change your hair color! Tau Radiation can boost your talents to new heights! You can be a new you without invasive nanobots, fight back against corporations monitoring your mind! safe radioactivity therapy! Prices starting at (death to your wallet)"

[Rater202]

I mean magic is often technically a radiation. since it produces light and therefore wave-particles and whatnot. and magic does exist in marvel, even if there is a good argument for learned marvel magic being worse than third form gamma rays.

I mean, it isn't exactly common knowledge but, in-universe, it's the other way around.

The mystical third form of Gamma radiation originates from a malevolent deity called the One Below All, who is trapped in the Below-Place--a dimension situated in the lowest layer of reality, below the deepest layer of Hell. Whenever they die, a gamma mutate's soul will be plunged into the Below-Place until, eventually, a Green Door leading them back to the land of the living opens, and the return to life without memory of their stay in the Below-Place.

So I'm not exactly endorsing this as a solution for people who want to transition, what with it coming from Super Hell and all, but I am curious in a scientific sense as to what would happen.

[Lord Raziere]

So I'm not exactly endorsing this as a solution for people who want to transition, what with it coming from Super Hell and all, but I am curious in a scientific sense as to what would happen.

Well I'd imagine it'd be dependent on the individual but given the evidence, probably they'd transition, thing is thats not the only factor involved. its not the only issue in one's head so....one form might have different downsides and strengths from another, you can't standardize the results so while its probable they will do that, there might be things like "they get stronger the more feminine they act because they feel they have to be as feminine as possible" or "their body starts regressing back to their assigned at birth sex, depending on how much they fear people rejecting them versus how confident they are in it" or even just an unrelated trauma just screwing things up in general, psychology is complicated and their form would probably be affected things that have nothing to do with their gender, complicating it so that while a straight transition is possible, third form gamma radiation is something I'd see scientists and doctors wanting a good map of your psychological issues before using it as a method and trying to solve them as best they can to get a healthy as they can human being before exposed, because I doubt anyone wants their psychological issues being spilled out into physical form into the world and causing problems.

of course what a healthy hulked up human being even looks like is not very well known in my mind at least, but thats a separate issue.

[Rater202]

of course what a healthy hulked up human being even looks like is not very well known in my mind at least, but thats a separate issue.

The closest to that is Doc Samson

I'm assuming that's okay to post since I got it from the Wiki.

No alternate personality, no mental or emotional instability, no personality disorders, no repressed desires. His strength doesn't fluctuate, and he doesn't revert to a non-powered state under any circumstances.

[LaZodiac]

I mean if you can't or don't achieve that I have a recommendation: try playing Dark Souls. it really emphasizes the characters realistically moving with its weaponry, as unlike most other action rpgs it depends on slowing down and using your movements wisely, as every strike must count. the reason why its so hard and why people look at it in such high regard is because its so insistent on showing why shields are useful, how easily you can die in just a couple of hits, the value of exploiting back attacks and parrying to make an opening to deal more damage to a foe, and unrepentant in expecting you to master it all yourself fight after fight after fight, death after death without any help or easier mode to fall back on. like its probably a better depiction of sword fighting actually is than most, even if its not perfect.

I've definitely played Dark Souls don't worry. I've spent like one hundred hours in the past two weeks playing Nioh 2.

I like having a hands on touch with some things. I looked up people talking about punching people to write punches cause I don't want to actually **** up my hand, but I'll for sure learn how to sword to write swording good.

[Rater202]

Mother and stepfather are back from the thing.

My stepfather's grandfather's will included an explicit mention that there were no provisions giving anything to the toxic people.

My stepfather's uncle apparently laughed more in that moment than in every other time my mother has met him put together.

One of them kept saying that she didn't understand what that meant and according to my mother it was obvious that they had it in their head that they were getting money despite being told they weren't getting money.