[Acid Class]Rethgif (RED HOT CHILI PEPPER)

[DracoDei]

Friends! Enemies! Road-kill in various degrees of flatness! I must call your attention to a dire problem which could cause these forums to fall apart into uselessness... the administrators, are, of course, partially to blame, and after we have concluded our business here we shall form a lynch mob to deal with them, however since they probably only failed to notice this insidious problem because they were too concerned with such short term goals as keeping flamers out and looking after Tears of Blood and such, I firmly believe we should make their deaths RELATIVELY quick and painless... but the core problem needs dealing with first, and it really would be in our hands to do so even if the administrators had noticed the problem... because it was ultimately US who caused it. More specifically the Homebrewers! The occasional posting of Base Classes may have seemed harmless enough... and indeed it was to begin with... but now things have gone TOO FAR... we are approaching a danger zone of high pH! the caustic nature of the forums could eat away at its very structure if something is not done! We need some Acid Classes, some classes on serious Acid, to counteract this effect before it is too late! I have made a start, but this work is still incomplete. Only will the help of the other forum members can this task be completed and the forums saved! (And then we can go lynch people in celebration...)
Rethgif
{table=head]Level| Acid Attack Bonus | Fort Save | Ref Save | Will Save* |Special
1st|

+1

|

+12

|

+1d20

|

+7

|Acid Damage
2nd|

+2.1

|

+11

|

+1d20

|

+8

|
3rd|

+3.14159...

|

+11

|

+1d20

|

+8

|Acid Flashback
4th|

+4+6i

|

+10

|

+1d20

|

+9

|Turn to Undead
5th|

+(x^2)+2x+1

|

+10

|

+1d20

|

+9

|Acid Tongue
6th|

+(some number)

|

+9

|

+1d20

|

+10

|Remove Ease 1/week
7th|

+154 hours

|

+9

|

+1d20

|

+10

|Class Ability I
8th|

+x

|

+8

|

+1d20

|

+11

|Eyebrows of the Sun and the Moon
9th|

+(How should I know?!?)

|

+8

|

+1d20

|

+11

|Remove Ease 2/week
10th|

+(Count your toes...)

|

+7

|

+1d20

|

+12

|Acid Rock
11th|

+(You aren't cleared for that information)

|

+7

|

+1d20

|

+7

|
12th|

+squirrel

|

+6

|

+1d20

|

+6

|Remove Ease 3/week
13th|

=23

|

+6

|

+1d20

|

+6

|Timeless Body
14th|

+badger/+badger/+badger

|

+5

|

+1d20

|

+5

|Damage Reduction 42/Others and Intentionally
15th|

+badger/ +badger/ +badger/ +mushroom

|

+5

|

+1d20

|

+5

|Class Ability II, Remove Ease 4/week
16th|

+badger/ +badger/+badger/+mushroom/ +mushroom

|

+4

|

+1d20

|

+4

|Absolute invulnerabilty (1/3)
17th|

+badger/ +badger/ +badger/ +mushroom/ +mushroom/+snake

|

+4

|

+1d20

|

+4

|
18th|

+fungal serpentine half-elemental tauric badger-Trevor (magical)

|

+3

|

+1d20

|

+3

|Remove Ease 5/week
19th|

-5

|

+3

|

+1d20

|

+3

|Class Ability III (THE REVENGE!)
20th|

+a suffusion of yellow

|

+2

|

+1d20

|

+2

|Decapitation[/table]
*This represents foolish optimism, and growing determination to overcome obstacles that only increases as it becomes harder... until 11th level when a mental break occurs, and the character realizes the awful truth of the inescapable nature of danger and conflict in the world, the impossibility of ever really being safe, and the futile nature of accomplishment. They try to fight it, but it just slowly gets worse and worse, a downward spiral of depression and apathy.
Hit Dice: d13 (Rethgif's have very bad luck...)
Skill-points: First level (5-Int. Mod**)x0.5 (too busy learning other things to study skill much at first level)
Additional levels: 5-Int. Mod**
**Brains only get in the way...
Class skills: Balance, Knowledge(Terrible ways to die), Knowledge(Totally baseless legends), Knowledge(Guinea Pigs), Search, Swim (In pudding),
Preform (Suicide), Preform (Open-heart surgery), Profession (Basketweaver), and Profession (Village Idiot) <Thanks to The Logman>
Weapons and Armor: Rethgif's are proficient with Heavy Armor and Tower Shields, but NOT with lesser shields, medium armor, or light armor (these things don't provide enough protection so they skipped over training with them and went right for the good stuff). Likewise they are proficient with all Martial Weapons but not with Simple Weapons. They are also proficient with Whips... because whips are just COOL!!1!1
Acid Damage (Sn): Vitrol simmers in the soul of every Rethgif. Any damage they inflict by any means is augmented by acid damage equal to 1/4 their class level (round up).

Acid Flashback (Sn): A 3rd level rethgif gets a +20 bonus on Knowledge checks to identify the features of creatures, and can even make such checks untrained. Such identification is generally incorrect, however; the rethgif believes every effect is related to acid. For example, when "identifying" a Erinyes:{table=head]Actual|Recalled
DR 5/good|DR 5/acid
Immunity to fire and poison|Immunity to acid
Resistance to acid and cold 10|Resistance to acid 10
Spell resistance 20|Acid resistance 20[/table]
A rethgif will not doubt his own recollection of these features, even if they are nonsensical (DR 5/acid) or contradictory (Resistance to acid 10 and acid resistance 20). <Thanks to Jasdoif>

Turn to Undead (Sn): ((Turn into an undead... feel free to supply details)

Acid Tongue (Ex): At 5th level Rethgifs learn to harness their dis-satisfaction with the adventuring lifestyle into a lack of social graces that can make Orcs cringe. They add half their class levels to any diplomacy, intimidate, and perform checks made to worsen the attitude of others towards them.

Remove Ease (Sp): With a touch you can imbue the true, terrifying nature of the world they live in to those who are shrouded in ignorance and denial. The target may attempt a Will Save with a DC of 10+1/2 Rethgif Level+Charisma Modifier to negate this. When outside of a battle the target always counts as shaken. When ever they actually enter combat they must make a Will save with DC equal to the original save or flee. They take -4 against all other fear effects. On the plus side their constant paranoia grants them one of the following feats they qualify for as long as the effect lasts: Dodge, Lightning Reflexes, Negotiator, or Iron Will.

Eyebrows of the Sun and the Moon (Ex): Your facial expressions become extremely clear, allowing you to communicate anything you could reasonably express with a facial expression to any other creature that possesses a language regardless of that creature's type or means of communication. This is especially effective for communicating abject terror, allowing you to offer surrender with no chance of being mis-misinterpreted (provided the intent is sincere and without trickery or guile). Opponents are generally neither more nor less likely to accept a surrender offered in this form than in any other.

Acid Rock (Sn): You may use the spell Magic Stone at will, but the stone turns into a glob of acid in mid-air. This has no effect on the AMOUNT of damage delivered, but it changes the type from Bludgeoning to Acid.

Timeless Body(Su): At 13th level the gods themselves decide to torment the Rethgif by granting him/her perpetual youth, making it much harder to beg off of doing heroic things on account of failing health. They prevent the degradation of your mind and in fact as the years pass sadistically inflict you with more mental faculties so you will be all the more aware of your terrible situation.

Decapitation(Ex): At 20th level you gain the ability to rip your own head off with your bare hands and stomp on it without pause of any kind until you die... you must utilize this ability immediately and do so with great joy!

[Baron Corm]

LOL... I don't know what you're talking about but I definitely approve.

[TheLogman]

Funny to some extent, but I really don't get it. Are you trying to create Anti-base classes? Have you gone insane Draco?

[DracoDei]

Funny to some extent, but I really don't get it. Are you trying to create Anti-base classes? Have you gone insane Draco?

Yes, the joke is I am trying to create anti-base classes. In Chemistry the opposite of a base is an acid. Acids shift the balance of ions in a water based liquid in favor of Positively charged Hydrogen ions, where-as bases shift the balance in favor of negatively charged OH ions. They cancel eachother out. This balance is measured by pH, with pure water being at pH 7. Acids have a pH below 7, bases have a pH above 7.

No, I haven't lost my mind. Just decided to post something utterly surreal and unplayable. Note that since Fighter is considered by many to be the most simplest class then this is the "simplest" anti-base class. Thus the name is "fighter" spelled backwards.

[Alex12]

Draziw
HD:d%
at level 1, gains the ability to, instead of rolling for HP, simply take the maximum possible.
No other level-related changes.

[elliott20]

Red Hot Chili Pepppers? Are you going to start incessantly sing about your obsession with California now?

[Alex12]

Red Hot Chili Pepppers? Are you going to start incessantly sing about your obsession with California now?

No, I think it's mocking PEACH.

[DracoDei]

Alex12 is correct, but I am not sure that Elliot20 meant it literally or if he was just playing along with one of the jokes.

[DracoDei]

Hit Dice and some parts of the skills added

[TheLogman]

Skill list should include:

Swim (In pudding),
Preform (Suicide),
Preform (Open-heart surgery),
Profession (Basketweaver),
and
Profession (Village Idiot)

[Luean]

I actually got the "Base-Acid" joke, figured out that the class name is fighter backwards and I even got the "RED HOT CHILI PEPPER - PEACH" thing.

I don't know what the stranger thing is. This class or the fact that i understood the jokes...

Anyway, nice class. I will definitly play...no, wait a moment...i won't...

But great idea

[elliott20]

well, I saw Red Hot Chili Pepper and the only that came to mind was the band... dammit, swing and a miss.

[Jasdoif]

I'm bored

Acid Flashback (Sn): ((Help???))

Acid Flashback: A 3rd level rethgif gets a +20 bonus on Knowledge checks to identify the features of creatures, and can even make such checks untrained. Such identification is generally incorrect, however; the rethgif believes every effect is related to acid. For example, when "identifying" a Erinyes:{table=head]Actual|Recalled
DR 5/good|DR 5/acid
Immunity to fire and acid|Immunity to acid
Resistance to acid and cold 10|Resistance to acid 10
Spell resistance 20|Acid resistance 20[/table]
A rethgif will not doubt his own recollection of these features, even if they are nonsensical (DR 5/acid) or contradictory (Resistance to acid 10 and acid resistance 20).

[Skelengar]

This is hilarious. I think the 2 Hitchhikers' references were great.

[AjaxTorbin]

Yes, the joke is I am trying to create anti-base classes. In Chemistry the opposite of a base is an acid. Acids shift the balance of ions in a water based liquid in favor of Positively charged Hydrogen ions, where-as bases shift the balance in favor of negatively charged OH ions. They cancel eachother out. This balance is measured by pH, with pure water being at pH 7. Acids have a pH below 7, bases have a pH above 7.

No, I haven't lost my mind. Just decided to post something utterly surreal and unplayable. Note that since Fighter is considered by many to be the most simplest class then this is the "simplest" anti-base class. Thus the name is "fighter" spelled backwards.

AAAAAHHHHHH !!!! I dont wana go to chem 101!!!
[takes puff]
~dude, pass the doritos~

[Xuincherguixe]

This class has shown be the truth and I am blinded by it.

[jindra34]

At level 17 does this class actually grant 6 base attacks?

[TheLogman]

Ya, but remember, 2 of them are mushrooms. Also, it kinda balances out, considering that 17th level is the only level with no class ability.

[DracoDei]

I'm bored Acid Flashback: A 3rd level rethgif gets a +20 bonus on Knowledge checks to identify the features of creatures, and can even make such checks untrained. Such identification is generally incorrect, however; the rethgif believes every effect is related to acid. For example, when "identifying" a Erinyes:{table=head]Actual|Recalled
DR 5/good|DR 5/acid
Immunity to fire and acid|Immunity to acid
Resistance to acid and cold 10|Resistance to acid 10
Spell resistance 20|Acid resistance 20[/table]
A rethgif will not doubt his own recollection of these features, even if they are nonsensical (DR 5/acid) or contradictory (Resistance to acid 10 and acid resistance 20).

Thank you. I shall now insert your offering.

At level 17 does this class actually grant 6 base attacks?

Yes, yes it does.

[Jasdoif]

Thank you. I shall now insert your offering.

Yay inclusion!

But now I have a quandary...do I say the "real" side of the table was supposed to say "immune to fire and poison" and not "immune to fire and acid", or do I leave it alone and proclaim (if cornered) it's a mind game with the reader? Accuracy or serendipity...?

[Morrsleib]

I feel like taking lvl 1 in this class, from this point and forever. It's just damn owerpowered. :P but beside the grossly owerpowered lvl 1 it's awesome (and me to i got nearly all of the jokes :P)

[Rizban]

I actually got the jokes too. The problem is that I don't see how this is unplayable at all. Incomplete, maybe, but it's not unplayable.

[Bhu]

OMG you guys on this forum are the funniest. They never make the funny PrC's on some of the other boards I'm on.

[DracoDei]

Thank you for the compliment. Although I can't quite restrain myself from noting that it isn't a PrC. It is the mirror image of a Base Class and one of the similarities is that it doesn't have an entry requirements.