LGBTAIitp Part 60: Still Going Strong

[gomipile]

My internal homophobia is very bad right now. And I really hate myself atm. It's worse for me because it's Pride Month and I feel like a total loser.

Definitely don't feel like it's your fault. We live in homophobic societies, so it's difficult not to internalize it. It's definitely hard work to change it and keep it changed.

Yes. This is a difficult thing, and it's not our fault for feeling internalized shameful feelings.

The fact that you're(ArlEammon) recognizing them for what they are is really good. For me, it was so much worse when I just took those shameful feelings for granted as "normal."

[Lissou]

Just wanted to say that it helps having people to talk to even though this is all frustrating for me, so thank you everyone who's answered, and people who've been reading and not answering, too :)

My diabetes itself is going well and I'm hopeful the next results will be good. The test is done every three months because that's how long red blood cells live, and that gives a snapshot of the level of blood sugar over that period. So taking a blood test too soon could give poor results just because it would include all the time I didn't know I had diabetes and my blood sugar was super high. My next test should be in August, but it's possible I would be able to call for appointments until September as some places don't schedule during summer (except for life-threatening emergencies). I'll be sure to let you know.

Happy Pride Month to everyone and hugs to those who want them!

[TaiLiu]

Just wanted to say that it helps having people to talk to even though this is all frustrating for me, so thank you everyone who's answered, and people who've been reading and not answering, too :)

My diabetes itself is going well and I'm hopeful the next results will be good. The test is done every three months because that's how long red blood cells live, and that gives a snapshot of the level of blood sugar over that period. So taking a blood test too soon could give poor results just because it would include all the time I didn't know I had diabetes and my blood sugar was super high. My next test should be in August, but it's possible I would be able to call for appointments until September as some places don't schedule during summer (except for life-threatening emergencies). I'll be sure to let you know.

Happy Pride Month to everyone and hugs to those who want them!

Can you schedule your surgery anyway, and cancel if it turns out your blood sugar levels aren't right? Or do you need to be cleared by a doctor before you can even make an appointment?

[Dire Moose]

Comic con was pretty fun. Got to attend a couple of celebrity guest panels (William Shatner and the actors who played the Weasley twins) and met a lot of awesome people. I think my Pokémon trainer cosplay was probably the better of the two though.

[Lissou]

Can you schedule your surgery anyway, and cancel if it turns out your blood sugar levels aren't right? Or do you need to be cleared by a doctor before you can even make an appointment?

They're requiring the results before they schedule the appointment, unfortunately, otherwise I would definitely have done it that way!

[gomipile]

I'm feeling the effects of losing passively supportive Reddit communities. Since I don't want to even browse Reddit until and unless they make some more major and positive concessions...

Does anyone have recommendations for good alternatives to Reddit for support communities that don't have anything like giantitp's no politics rule? Lots of the stuff I've been anxious about lately has been very political.

[Rynjin]

I think the blackout is only two days, so you should be able to go back to all the subs you frequent on Wednesday.

[gomipile]

I think the blackout is only two days, so you should be able to go back to all the subs you frequent on Wednesday.

Okay. But I said that I won't be going back to Reddit unless and until significant progress is made. It's not just about the blackout actions taken by moderators of subreddits.

[TaiLiu]

Comic con was pretty fun. Got to attend a couple of celebrity guest panels (William Shatner and the actors who played the Weasley twins) and met a lot of awesome people. I think my Pokémon trainer cosplay was probably the better of the two though.

Glad to hear.

They're requiring the results before they schedule the appointment, unfortunately, otherwise I would definitely have done it that way!

Dang, that sucks. It'd save everyone so much time if you could queue up in advance.

I'm feeling the effects of losing passively supportive Reddit communities. Since I don't want to even browse Reddit until and unless they make some more major and positive concessions...

Does anyone have recommendations for good alternatives to Reddit for support communities that don't have anything like giantitp's no politics rule? Lots of the stuff I've been anxious about lately has been very political.

Maybe see if your local LGBTQ organization runs support groups.

[gomipile]

Let's talk about a retail worker who is the only person working in the store for their shift. What would you consider to be appropriate responses for that worker to make when customers make the worker angry by using slurs in conversation?

[BisectedBrioche]

As someone who's been in that situation; refuse to serve the customers unless they apologise.

Although that would depend on a bunch of factors like seniority and job security.

[TaiLiu]

Let's talk about a retail worker who is the only person working in the store for their shift. What would you consider to be appropriate responses for that worker to make when customers make the worker angry by using slurs in conversation?

Wow. No advice, since I'm terrible with this kinda stuff. But if that's happening to you or someone you know, I'm very sorry. That's an awful thing to deal with.

[gomipile]

I phrased it very generally, but yes, this is a situation I'm dealing with myself. I am a retail employee.

I've reacted angrily to some customers using transphobic slurs in a hateful manner. They've not been aiming the slurs at me, but they are saying them while talking to me.

Nearly everyone I meet assumes I'm a cishet male. The attitude of these customers is that they think I'm going to be amused by their transphobic "jokes."

[TaiLiu]

I phrased it very generally, but yes, this is a situation I'm dealing with myself. I am a retail employee.

I've reacted angrily to some customers using transphobic slurs in a hateful manner. They've not been aiming the slurs at me, but they are saying them while talking to me.

Nearly everyone I meet assumes I'm a cishet male. The attitude of these customers is that they think I'm going to be amused by their transphobic "jokes."

Wow. I'm sorry. That must be deeply unpleasant to deal with. I'd be upset, too.

[gomipile]

Wow. I'm sorry. That must be deeply unpleasant to deal with. I'd be upset, too.

It's... a whole thing.

It looks like I'm not going to lose my job over it, but it seems like that's mostly because I get paid less than they'd have to offer to replace me.

I'm stepping up my job search to get out of retail. I've been in it a few years now, and I think that's more than enough if I can help it.

[TaiLiu]

It's... a whole thing.

It looks like I'm not going to lose my job over it, but it seems like that's mostly because I get paid less than they'd have to offer to replace me.

I'm stepping up my job search to get out of retail. I've been in it a few years now, and I think that's more than enough if I can help it.

Good luck. I hope you get out soon.

[Lycunadari]

I have some happy news – I had top surgery last week! Everything went well and it's all healing nicely so far. I've waited so long for this (close to 10 years!), and now that it's done it still feels kind of unreal. Like it hasn't completely sunk in that it actually happened. And I still have to wear a compression vest for a few weeks, so it doesn't actually feel all that different to when I was binding before (though the post-surgery binder is more comfortable, which is good because I have to wear it all day long, including at night. I only get to take it off to shower and to change the wound dressings).
But it's strange, I expected to feel very happy, and/or relieved it's done, but instead I just feel... content? I'm definitely not unhappy and I don't regret it at all, I am very glad I had this surgery, but I don't feel any of the euphoria that a lot of other trans people describe after surgery. Maybe because it still feels kind of dreamy and to be fair, my chest doesn't look great yet (still some bruising and swelling, and not fully healed incisions, but nothing that looks concerning at this time), so it's probably normal to not be overjoyed. But I do feel content, and at ease. And I think that's good enough.

[Lissou]

Congratulations, I'm so happy for you :D

[TaiLiu]

I have some happy news – I had top surgery last week! Everything went well and it's all healing nicely so far. I've waited so long for this (close to 10 years!), and now that it's done it still feels kind of unreal. Like it hasn't completely sunk in that it actually happened. And I still have to wear a compression vest for a few weeks, so it doesn't actually feel all that different to when I was binding before (though the post-surgery binder is more comfortable, which is good because I have to wear it all day long, including at night. I only get to take it off to shower and to change the wound dressings).
But it's strange, I expected to feel very happy, and/or relieved it's done, but instead I just feel... content? I'm definitely not unhappy and I don't regret it at all, I am very glad I had this surgery, but I don't feel any of the euphoria that a lot of other trans people describe after surgery. Maybe because it still feels kind of dreamy and to be fair, my chest doesn't look great yet (still some bruising and swelling, and not fully healed incisions, but nothing that looks concerning at this time), so it's probably normal to not be overjoyed. But I do feel content, and at ease. And I think that's good enough.

Yay, congrats! That's amazing!

[TaiLiu]

Today I watched an thirty second anti-trans ad. Nothing unexpected: regretful detransitioners, parents worried about their kids, complaints about free speech.

I wonder how much influence this ad campaign will have on transphobia and trans people. It's a little concerning.

[DeTess]

Today I watched an thirty second anti-trans ad. Nothing unexpected: regretful detransitioners, parents worried about their kids, complaints about free speech.

I wonder how much influence this ad campaign will have on transphobia and trans people. It's a little concerning.

Probably quite a bit. People without any experience with trans people are probably likely to take such an ad at face value.

I'd call this more than a little concerning, especially in the light of the heaps of anti-trans legislation getting passed in the US.

At this point all I feel I can do is hope that this stuff doesn't catch on in Europe, but I'm seeing the first signs of similar extremists in our local politics. They don't seem to be getting as much traction at least.

[TaiLiu]

Probably quite a bit. People without any experience with trans people are probably likely to take such an ad at face value.

I'd call this more than a little concerning, especially in the light of the heaps of anti-trans legislation getting passed in the US.

At this point all I feel I can do is hope that this stuff doesn't catch on in Europe, but I'm seeing the first signs of similar extremists in our local politics. They don't seem to be getting as much traction at least.

You're probably right, though I hope you're not.

I feel like things are better for trans people than a decade ago. In the past, such an ad might not have been necessary cuz it's what the general public thought. Now maybe they need an ad campaign to keep up the bigotry.

[Lentrax]

You're probably right, though I hope you're not.

I feel like things are better for trans people than a decade ago. In the past, such an ad might not have been necessary cuz it's what the general public thought. Now maybe they need an ad campaign to keep up the bigotry.

We can only hope it doesn’t work. But they have a lot of power to broadcast to a lot of people who are becoming more polarized on other issues that they are making related to trans issues.

We can only hope it is a final fervor before the end of their hate and they move on to something else.

And all we can do is combat it by being ourselves.

[Rynjin]

Advertisements, especially on traditional media, don't really exist to convert new "conscripts" but to harden existing believers. I would expect the knock-on effect to an anti-trans ad would be that most people ignore it, some on the fence fall over one way or another, and those who already believe the rhetoric will have been armed with "facts" to throw out to people in order to justify their bigotry.

Given that I think "the fence" has largely disappeared over the last decade or so anyway, this reeks of a "last push". An anti-trans ad isn't HARMLESS by any means, but it's not something to get overly worried about.

[Rater202]

for what it's worth, a number of pro-trans or otherwise pro-LGBT youtubers have noted that a lot of Anti-Trans propaganda adds are being attached to their videos where it's highly unlikely that they'll find a target audience—the people paying for the ads are basically wasting their money.

I don't know the ratio of these adds missing their target like this to popping up in more harmful places, but...

[BisectedBrioche]

I wonder if they're aimed at people who're hate watching. Or maybe in the hope of swaying people who went to the videos looking for more info?

It's also possible that kind of nonsense isn't actually allowed by the platform holders (I'd certainly hope so), so it's not properly tagged because the way it's being smuggled in.

[TaiLiu]

We can only hope it doesn’t work. But they have a lot of power to broadcast to a lot of people who are becoming more polarized on other issues that they are making related to trans issues.

We can only hope it is a final fervor before the end of their hate and they move on to something else.

And all we can do is combat it by being ourselves.

For sure. Being openly trans may help people accept and understand us—or at least tolerate us as part of the world.

Advertisements, especially on traditional media, don't really exist to convert new "conscripts" but to harden existing believers. I would expect the knock-on effect to an anti-trans ad would be that most people ignore it, some on the fence fall over one way or another, and those who already believe the rhetoric will have been armed with "facts" to throw out to people in order to justify their bigotry.

Given that I think "the fence" has largely disappeared over the last decade or so anyway, this reeks of a "last push". An anti-trans ad isn't HARMLESS by any means, but it's not something to get overly worried about.

That might be right. The company that put it out has a lot of money and is otherwise occupied with other unpleasant activities. What I'm worried about is that this is not gonna be a metaphoric last push. It's just gonna be a continued part of their profile.

for what it's worth, a number of pro-trans or otherwise pro-LGBT youtubers have noted that a lot of Anti-Trans propaganda adds are being attached to their videos where it's highly unlikely that they'll find a target audience—the people paying for the ads are basically wasting their money.

I don't know the ratio of these adds missing their target like this to popping up in more harmful places, but...

I wonder if they're aimed at people who're hate watching. Or maybe in the hope of swaying people who went to the videos looking for more info?

It's also possible that kind of nonsense isn't actually allowed by the platform holders (I'd certainly hope so), so it's not properly tagged because the way it's being smuggled in.

It's also unpleasant to watch. You wanna see this video about elevators? First you gotta deal with thirty seconds of people telling you how awful you are. They're wasting their money, but it still kinda sucks for us.

[Rynjin]

Can I introduce you to Adblock Plus and Ublock Origin? You'll never need to see it again.

[TaiLiu]

Can I introduce you to Adblock Plus and Ublock Origin? You'll never need to see it again.

Thanks, I appreciate the recs. I use UBlock Origin on my computer, but I was watching YouTube on my phone. Unfortunately, there's no UO there.

[Rynjin]

Thanks, I appreciate the recs. I use UBlock Origin on my computer, but I was watching YouTube on my phone. Unfortunately, there's no UO there.

People keep saying this, but I'm not sure why they believe it. You can absolutely install both on your phone. It doesn't work for the garbage Youtube app but you can just access Youtube via your browser.