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  1. - Top - End - #1
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    Geeksthenewsexy's Avatar

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    Default [IC] Ridin' Solo


    Deepwood is a small community consisting of hunters, loggers, artisans, and a few hardy families who just prefer to live far away from cities. There are a couple of farms in the surrounding area, but the people here subsist for the most part on fish, game, and naturally growing crops such as mushrooms, wild vegetables, and seasonal fruit. The people of Deepwood have always led quiet lives. Traders come through a few times a year to exchange goods and materials made in the cities for local furs, pelts, artwork, and lumber, but otherwise, there are few visitors. The nearest town of any significant size lies several days ride to the east. News from the outside world takes a long while to reach this isolated community, and word of events taking place in Deepwood can take days or even weeks to spread to the rest of the world. Until recently, however, very few people noticed or cared about such delays, since so little of interest ever happened here.

    In the past few days, however, word has begun to spread in the outlying areas that all is not well in Deepwood. The only point on which the rumors agree is that the local Heironean priestess has been slain savagely mauled by some sort of animal and that terrible creature now stalks the tiny village, seeking more prey. Beyond this information, the details are sketchy and sometimes conflicting. Some tales say that the beast has already been killed; others claim that the townsfolk have seen several half-man-half-beast creatures roaming the woods at night. A few say that the woods around the village echo with the howls of an unusual number of wolves and wild dogs.

    Sharing the same faith as the slain priestess, and your faith's tenets including protection of the weak, you've naturally set forth to investigate. The evening is close approaching, and you find yourself in the closest town to Deepwood, several days ride to the east. Hillsdale is a fairly modest town but straddles a crossroads that allows trade to flow to and from elsewhere. More of a waystation for travelers, caravans, and merchants, there are few private residences that are not attached to shops, service industry craftsmen, and inns. Malerone finds himself just now walking into just such an establishment, with the goal of resting the night before beginning the final leg of his trek to Deepwood come morning. Hopefully, the dreary weather will be more favorable in the morning as well, and you won't be quote so soggy as you find yourself now.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Default Re: [IC] Ridin' Solo

    Malerone walks into the Hearth and Hardy, trying to be pleasant. Viewing this as official church business, he is decked out in his full plate having ridden up on his celestial steed. He dismounts, pats his faithful companion on the neck, then dismisses her back to the celestial realm to rest. He is carrying his shield and several bags. His weapons are put away into the quiver slung over one shoulder, while his wilderness gear is stowed in the Haversack on the other. He carries his bag of holding in his hand. He makes an easy mark for anyone looking for a well-to-do traveler to take advantage of, but one look at his stern face, dissuades anyone of the notion that he would be an easy mark.

    Malerone wears a constant stern face, that clearly brokers no nonsense, but doesn't necessarily look unfriendly, just serious. He cast his gaze around the inn and spots the proprietor approaching at his ostentatious entrance. "Good day, fine sir! I am looking for a room for the night and a hardy meal. I am travel weary and fear I have hard times ahead as well." The innkeeper is slightly taken aback by his booming voice and gruff manners.

    Malerone doesn't mean to come off so harsh, but years in service to the church as an inquisitor has left him little patience and lacking in social niceties. Few have corrected him either, as his superiors like the results he has produced and everyone else has been too scared to say anything, but he does not mind honest feedback, given as earnest constructive critique. Malerone waits patiently for a reply from the innkeeper as to whether a room is available.

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    Inclining his head to Malerone at his greeting, the barkeep's serious visage lightens a bit after taking in the look of his new patron. "Well met, ser. Iffin' it be good food and a sohft bed, ya 'av come to the righ' place, ya can be sure." The red-haired man's accent was thick around the edges, obviously not from the region originally. Taking a well-polished oaken mug from under his counter, he fills it from one of the kegs lining the wall behind the bar. Raising a hand, he gets attention of one of the two maids working the common room before holding up a single finger and nodding towards you. The maid nods her acknowledgment and disappears through a swinging door near the end of the bar.

    Placing the mug before you, he nods to you with a curious expression before asking, "Do you be 'avin a mount needs tendin' to? Rooms be two gold, an' comes wit t'ree meals. Meals be comin' wit a single ale, but more can be 'ad for two silver each. 'ny meals not claimed 'afore ya part ways be packed away to go wit ya when ya do. Stablin' be five silver, but comes wit feed and groomin' to boot." Before he's finished speaking the maid has returned with a generous helping of thick stew served in an oddly wide flat-bottomed oak bowl. One side of the bowl is much thicker, and you see immediately why - a wooden spoon rests in a small cubby carved into the wall of that side, and a small loaf of warm bread sits atop the cubby as it would on a small plate. The stew itself is thick with generous hunks of potatoes, carrots, shredded meat, and more herbs and spices than you've come to expect from inns as modest as this one seems to be. Seeing you eye the bowl, the man winks with a knowing smile. "Worth 'very cohpper, my wife's cookin' be."
    Last edited by Geeksthenewsexy; 2021-03-25 at 12:18 AM.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Malerone winces slightly when he hears the accent initially, as he remembers his own accent from his childhood that he has worked hard to smooth over. Luckily his years of travel and study of various cultures and languages has left him with a pretty neutral accent now.
    "No mount today, I have made alternative arrangements for her care. I'll take your room, but I'll be heading out after breakfast in the morning, so my third meal will have to be packed." He looks around quickly, taking stock of who all is in the inn. This is more a nervous habit than anything conscious for Malerone.
    As the barmaid comes back with the stew, Malerone inhales appreciatively and admires the fine craftsmanship of the bowl as he nods his head along to what the innkeeper is saying. Malerone practically inhales his food, not so much out of hunger, but more because he is used to eating quickly. After eating his fill, Malerone sips on the ale, moderating himself to ensure he has time to get a feeling for the patrons in the common room.
    Malerone is aware he must look out of place, in his full plate armor, carrying all his gear, though with it packed away, it looks less than it actually is; however, he uses the attention it draws to his advantage, eyeing those who eye him and seeing who all seems to know what it means. Letting the barkeep return to his regular duties, Malerone waits to be shown to his room, where he plans to stow his armor in his bag of holding and cast necessary wards to ensure no one disturbs his room in his absence. He is interested in gathering what information he can about Deepwood and the priestess of Heironeous

    Spoiler: OOC
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    I don't plan on roleplaying the details of that interaction, and I am happy to just make a roll and get the highlights, just letting you know of my intentions. Let me know which rolls you want. Diplomacy is my strong suite, though I know gather information will be needed too.

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    You finish your meal and nurse your drink as you take in the ambient conversations around you. Although you assumed you'd stand out, it isn't as sharp a difference as you first imagined it would be. There are several small groups of travelers. A table of what looks to be local merchantmen and craftsmen are celebrating some milestone in one of their number's businesses, though their speech is so slurred with drink at this point, you can't be sure which one is being celebrated or why. The majority of the patrons, however, have the obvious telltale signs of long travel - something you yourself are very familiar with. Caravan guards, adventurers, common travelers, and even some locals make up the majority, though you're pretty sure you spotted a very drunk wizard earlier trying to cool his beer with magic, but only managing to freeze his mug solid. After that, Jaimus was quick to drag the drunk mage outside, muttering something about smart people always being the biggest idiots.

    A group of wagoneers and caravan guards are off to one side, bemoaning their recent venture to the west having been a bust and are heatedly debating the best place to offload the goods they haven't managed to offload. Other groups of various sizes composed of various races talk freely of where they've been and where they're going - some are speaking of exploring ruins for treasure, some planning to redeem the bounty on brigands and frustrated that there are so many roads in and out of Hillsdale that it's very difficult to predict which one the bandits will target at any given time - and in one corner is a woman staring dejectedly into the middle distance, food and drink untouched and her face a mask of sadness. A small child, also solemn picks at his plate, eyes red from obviously recent sobs. The woman says nothing to anyone, and merely shakes her head at the maid when she stopped hesitantly at her table to see if she needed anything.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    I assumed you listen, and therefore catch bits of, information from the notable parties in the room as ambient conversation. If you want to focus a spot and/or listen check on any particular individual or group, never hesitate to do so - in 'safe areas', I'll endeavor to provide plenty of general information and the opportunities to learn more should you choose to focus on it. That way you have more control over the narrative, as you'll only get the information you specifically go out of your way to collect. If you want to go totally off-script... go for it. No matter what you choose to do, your success depends entirely on what you choose to do, and how well you manage to do it.

    For example, in this instance, you could choose to roll a spot and/or listen check for the table with the wagoneers, the explorers, the bandit-hunters, or the woman & child. Alternatively, you could choose to go and speak with them, and roll a social check (Diplomacy, Bluff, Intimidate, Gather Information, Slight of Hand, Sense Motive, etc) depending on what you want to accomplish and how you want to do so. You could Bluff the bandit-hunters and 'sell' them a prediction of the bandit hideout. You could Sense Motive on the woman & child to try to discern why they both seem so upset. You could use Diplomacy to befriend the wagoneers and ask for details on the local roads and trade routes or the local economy. You could Intimidate the excited explorers to get the location of the ruins in order to explore them yourself. Whatever you want to do - Don't hesitate to make any appropriate rolls for the action(s) you want to attempt along with what you hope to accomplish with the action in the OOC spoiler. Just make sure to mention the 'in character' action associated with it in the main post. I.E. walk over to the table of <person(s)> and say 'blah blah', etc.

    Or you could choose to sleep, and immediately head out on the morning towards your destination, leaving Hillsdale behind without a care. All areas and opportunities are optional. :)
    Last edited by Geeksthenewsexy; 2021-03-29 at 11:03 PM.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Default Re: [IC] Ridin' Solo

    Malerone, takes in some of everything around him at the bar, but keys in on the woman and little boy in the corner by themselves. He takes a moment to assess what seems to have grieved the mother so and decides to walk over and offer what support and comfort he can from Heironeous.
    "You seem upset. I am a high priest of Heironeous, he offers Justice and Comfort to those in need. May I hear your tale?" It is a simple, but effective greeting, with all of Malerone's guile and charisma behind it.

    Spoiler: rolls
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    "Sense Motive" - (1d20+10)[30]"Diplomacy" - (1d20+23)[35]

    Spoiler: OOC
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    With his killer diplomacy, I doubt he really even needs to roll it, but it is fun to roll, so the number is above. He will sense what he can and try to use that in his opening (though I didn't want to drag out a sense motive check to find out info and then add that into the diplomacy check to actually talk to her, so am trying to combine it somewhat). He is most interested in anything related to his reason for being here, and the others don't have any connection what-so-ever, but this lady's tale might.

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    You quickly realze the mother and child are grief-stricken over something that had to have been recent. Quickly scrubbing her face and smoothing her dress, the woman instinctively reaches out to lay a hand on her son, who continues to stare dejectedly at the table with his puffy red eyes. "I...I'm sorry, sir, if I bothered you. We... we lost my husband this morning, ya see. Died in 'is sleep in the night of a fever. To put salt in the wound, this meal might very well be our last, seeing as we spent our savings on a potion a few months ago after we were told would cure my husband in the night. He never got better, he just kept wasting away of the last few months. Lyin' bastard of a merchant that sold it to me was nowhere to be found the next morning, and my husband was no better. Rot take that thieving bastard's lying tongue. I hope the gods strike him down, wherever he is!"

    Choking back a sob, the woman takes a few moments to calm and compose herself again before continuing. "The last anyone saw of that blighted swindler, he left Hillsdale and headed out on the western road. Nothing out that way except the road around the Great Forest, and weeks of traveling, so I'm sure he's spending his blood money in some far-away fancy city more to his tastes by now. Well, nothing out that way except for Deepwood, I suppose, but nobody goes there except the occasional caravan, since they keep to themselves for the most part." Gesturing at the group of wagoneers, she continues, [B]"And that caravan stopped there and couldn't sell a thing, as they were saying they struck out and might stop going there altogether since it isn't exactly on the main road, ya know. A cagey lot, those Deepwood folks. No idea how they can live so deep in the forest and not care a lick about trade or travel." [/B]Shrugging, she stops rambling, finally taking in your full armor and weaponry. Wincing slightly, she murmurs softly, shoulders slumping in the realization obviously dawning on her that she'd just vented her troubles to a very well-armed stranger, "Erm...Mi'lord."
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    "No worries, madam, I am glad you have spoken your mind and heart. I wish there was more I could do for your husband, but I lack the resources to help him directly. However, I would be pleased to look into this 'merchant' for you and see if I can bring him to justice. I will try to locate him first, do you still have the flask for the potion he sold you? Did you buy anything else from him that you still have? If not, I can still investigate and look into it, but there will be much less chance of me finding him. I need to leave tomorrow morning, heading on the western road as well, so there is good chance I will be able to pick up his trail."

    Spoiler: ooc
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    I do realize that Deepwood is where I am heading, and that this will likely be a side quest there, but Malerone wouldn't know that and has no IC reason to think that this merchant would be there. Discern Location is a big spell to spend, but he would have it and it'll refresh in the morning, so not a problem. I need to go through and stat out my standard array of spells to have prepared.

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    Hanging her head, the woman shakes it sorrowfully. "Nay, mi'lord. Threw the wreched worthless bottle into the fire in frustration, when my husband didn't get better as the liar promised. We appreciate the concern, truly. Thank you for listening to a widow's nattering - you be a kind sort." The woman's tear-streaked face lifts long enough to give you a ghost of a smile before bowing under the weight of her grief once more. Her hand slips into the hand of her son and you see her squeeze it gently with a strength she can only pretend to have for a moment. As you stand and prepare to bid the broken family goodbye, the woman speaks softly once again. "Gaudy." Nodding gently in thought. "His air and his clothes seemed made to look expensive, though they were obviously not. Thought himself fancy, I think. I'd tell you more, if I could remember. But all I can picture now is my poor Lim's face. My sweet Lim." Shoulders quivering in silent sobs, she turns away, unable to speak further.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    Not so much a side quest as a tie-in to the main quest. I peppered Hillsdale with several tie-ins, depending on what you do. None of them are necessary, but some have the potential to cut a more direct path to the end goal, so to speak. "All roads lead to Rome," as they say. Later on, there will be threads left here and there for you to pull at to help you decide what your next adventure will be once you've finished your current 'main quest', one way or another - This will be the only 'main quest' I dictate, and future ones will be for you to decide based on the information you'll pick up here and there that you deem worth further exploring later.
    Last edited by Geeksthenewsexy; 2021-04-14 at 02:58 PM.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Malerone shakes his head at the sad tale and offers a few comforting words: "I'm sorry for you loss, and I know this won't bring your husband back, but it should help keep you going for a time." He pulls out a small cloth sack which clearly holds several coins. He drops it into her hands as he pats her consolingly, making sure no one else in the tavern notices the widow's new-found wealth. The sack contains 10 gold pieces, enough to feed them for almost a month if they use it right, and at least a chance at surviving until he gets back to see justice mete out. He quiets any thanks she tries to give with a warning glance around the common room to be sure no one else hears, or if they do, that they know she is under his protection. Then sure that he has much work ahead of him, he stands to leave, taking one last glance around the common room.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    With a +23 to diplomacy, I don't think you need a roll to see if he comforts her successfully. (Also I don't know if you follow the whole take-10 thing?) I just looked up a good meal at 5 sp/day so that means 10 gp should last ~20 days. If food is more expensive here, feel free to adjust how much he gives her to last about a month. Malerone has about 500 gp on his person, though doesn't walk around with that all the time, most of it being stored with his gear. I am not sure if he has time to look into 1 more of the other 'leads' or not? If so he will walk over to the wagoneers and see if they have heard of a man matching the woman's description. If not he will head up to bed.

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    Too moved for words, the woman simply clings to Malerone's hand briefly and nods vigorously before clutching her son for comfort as she is overwhelmed with emotions. Shaken from his numb dejection, her son looks up at you for the first time. After a brief glance at his emotional mother and the pouch she now clutched, he meets your eyes and you realize it isn't a boy at all - not anymore. This is a young man, mature well before what is right and fair. You also see gratitude in them before they turn and he begins to awkwardly comfort his mother, once again looking for all the world like a boy still, on the outside at least.

    Shaking their hardship from your mind, you refocus and approach the wagoneers. After introducing yourself and inquiring about a man fitting the description the woman gave you, they shake their heads. The head wagoneer shrugs. "Not a lot of fancy folks, or even folks that fancy themselves such to be had on the road. Deepwood is about a week by wagon, and after that, the nearest town is just more 'en two weeks past that. Didn't stop in Deepwood this trip though, seeing as they were in the middle of stringing a man up as we were coming in. Locals were in no mood for strangers, and we took the hint. The lack of furs and pelts we normally trade basics essentials for there has made this trip a lot less profitable than usual. Weren't about to try to haggle with a mob, though." Grimacing at the thought, the wagoneer waves a hand as if to put aside the very thought, and his fellow teamsters go back to complaining about the poor caravan run this time around.

    Soon enough, you feel as if you've learned all you'll learn from the common room for the evening and head upstairs to get some rest. The morning will come soon, and you've things to consider, and decisions to make. Your room has a crossbar on the door for keeping out riffraff while you're sleeping, and you feel adequately rested in the morning. After returning the key to the innkeeper, he provides you a packed lunch of dried and smoked meat, a fresh loaf of bread that smells strongly of rosemary and thyme, and a wedge of a hard cheese that smells sharply of garlic all wrapped in a small cheesecloth bundle and tied with a bit of twine. He insists you drink some hot tea as it won't keep for travel, you find it surprisingly pleasant, having a citrus and currant flavor, and having been sweetened with honey. Having gotten that pleasant chore out of the way, you find yourself outside the inn as the sun peeks over the horizon, pondering your plans for the day.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    You're free to explore Hillsdale, begin traveling, or doing whatever else you'd like. For reference, Deepwood is about five or six days to the west on horseback or seven to eight by wagon.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Malerone is disappointed with the lack of helpful news, but knows he needs to continue on his way. He wakes up in the morning, communes with Heironeous, and casts his daily buffs. Malerone thanks the innkeeper for the packed lunch and sets out toward Darkwood, summoning his mount as he makes his way out of the city. While letting his mount lead the way, he is pondering how he should continue. Heironeous enlightens Malerone and reminds him he could use a Scry spell to find more about this devious merchant. Malerone reaches into his bag of holding and pulls out a small font and a bottle of holy water as a focus, then casts his spell, concentrating on the merchant that the woman described.
    Spoiler: statblock
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    Malerone Hickay
    Male NG Human ClCl/HuPa/ChInq/PresPal/DivDis//HuPa/PresPal/Cru/Warb, Level 15, Init 4, HP 227/227, DR 10/magic, Speed 20
    AC 42, Touch 22, Flat-footed 40, Fort 22, Ref 14, Will 24, Base Attack Bonus 15/10/5
    +1 Keen Scimitar (NA) +22/+17/+12 (1d6+7, 15-20/x2)
    Two-handed, +1 Keen Halberd (+3 from GMW) (NA) +25/+20/+15 (1d10+10, 19-20/x3)
    One-handed, can hit incorporeal +1 Ghost Touch Morningstar (+3 from GMW) (NA) +25/+20/+15 (1d8+7, 20/x2)
    +1 Mithril Full Plate of Speed(+3 from Magic Vestment, haste spell 10 rounds/day nonconsecutive), Lion's Shield (+3 from Magic Vestment, 3/day full attack at wielders BAB from lion's face for 2d6 as its own action) (+12 Armor, +5 Shield, +2 Dex, +4 Deflect, +3 Natural, +6 circumstance)
    Abilities Str 24, Dex 14, Con 22, Int 14, Wis 20, Cha 19
    Spoiler: daily spell buffs
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    Condition DMM(Extend): Magic Vestment: +3 Enhancement to Full Plate
    DMM(Extend): Magic Vestment: +3 Enhancement to Shield
    DMM(Extend): Greater Magic Weapon: +3 Enhancement to Halberd
    DMM(Extend): Greater Magic Weapon: +3 Enhancement to Morningstar
    DMM(Persist & Extend): Holy Star: +6 circumstance bonus to AC, 1d4+3 spell turning, 1/rnd 90' ranged touch attack for 7d6 fire damage
    DMM(Persist & Extend): Divine Power: +6 Enhancement to Str, 15 temp HP, BAB 15/10/5
    DMM(Persist & Extend): Visage of the Deity: Smite Evil 1/day, darkvision 60 ft, acid, cold, and electricity resistance 20, DR 10/magic, SR 20
    DMM(Persist & Extend): Holy Aura: +4 Deflection to AC, +4 Resistance to Saving Throws, SR25 vs Evil spells and spells cast by evil creatures, Blocks any mind control, Successful hit from Evil creature causes permanent blindness (Fort Negates).

    Scry spell has a Will save of 20, but he gets a +5 because I only have secondhand knowledge of him.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    I realized that my Character Sheet hadn't gotten a final update after I figured out what buffs I was going to be keeping up. I am using Persist to make them 24 hrs and then Extend to make them 48 and casting them in rotation so that I cast 2 each day. I will cast Holy Aura and Divine Power on one day and Visage of the Deity and Holy Star the next, then alternate back and forth. Since these will pretty well be constant buffs, I went ahead and factored them into my character sheet. I also bought a NightStick from Libris Mortis to power the 2x Magic Vestments and 2x Greater Magic Weapon extended, those are each hr/lvl, so they will be 30 hrs each (daily buffs). I tend to rule that a cleric can only benefit from 1 nightstick per day, so no shenanigans with using it to get unlimited buffs or whatever. I am powering all my personal buffs with my own Turn Attempts and only the 4 listed above with the night stick, if you don't like the nightstick at all, I can refactor and figure out how to compensate. I know the focus for the Scry spell is a font, but there is no description on the size or anything, so he is using a portable font that is highly decorated (to cost 100 gp), but not too unwieldly for use while on horseback. Except when casting his spell and concentrating on that (which he'll be walking the horse gently), he will push his warhorse to a trot for most of the day (3x speed, or ~17 mph). I don't know if that is in your time calculation you mentioned for how long it will take to get there.
    Last edited by rogue_alchemist; 2021-05-04 at 03:27 PM.

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    Default Re: [IC] Ridin' Solo

    As you focus on your attempt to scry the unscrupulous merchant, an image begins to form, colors shifting and swirling. As the colors begin to slow and take shape, your ears are assaulted by the sound of a snarling canine. A large canine, by the depth and volume - of which slams into you as the scrying spell disperses instantly, the only indication that it happened at all, the echo, and the pain in your ears. This is very odd since you've done this before and always before either a picture began and finished to form, or nothing happened at all. Never before has something interrupted one of your scyings. Your mount, startled by the sound, rears up suddenly, head thrashing one way and the next as it frantically tries to spot the threat.

    Spoiler: OOC
    Show
    Please make a Ride check. :)

    And I have no problem with anything you spelled out. I do appreciate the one nightstick restraint. I'd forgotten to throw in a 'Nightsticks need to be attuned like Runestaffs, and therefore, one at a time' house-rule. Dififcult to remember all the tiny little things we all sometimes take for granted that make 3.5 reasonable. :-p
    Last edited by Geeksthenewsexy; 2021-05-06 at 10:49 PM.
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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    Default Re: [IC] Ridin' Solo

    Malerone shakes his head, clearing the sharp pain, before focusing on gaining control of his mount again.

    Spoiler: ride check
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    (1d20+6)[10] And don't forget we have an empathic link to share emotion, so I can try to calm her that way too, even if she throws me initially

    Spoiler: ooc
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    Yea, I don't blame you. I try to be reasonable and not too abusive, though utilizing what is there usually seems fair to me, just not "infinite" anything

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    Default Re: [IC] Ridin' Solo

    You manage to slide off the saddle and land on your feet at your steed's sudden rearing. Taking a step back to stay clear of his hooves, you immediately begin calming it. After a few long moments of looking in every direction and pawing at the dirt of the road, it settles, seemingly satisfied that whatever threat their might have been was gone. You know your steed, and it would never have spooked so easily, but you suspect the depth, sudden proximity, and sheer volume of the noise played major factors in this rare occurrence. Checking the saddle and making sure your scrying apparatus is undamaged, you mount up and continue on the road.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    You're free to roleplay a bit to set the mood, if you like. When you're ready to 'move on', let me know and we'll move forward until something exciting happens, or when you make camp - whatever comes first. ;)
    "He who makes a beast of himself, loses the pain of being a man." - Dr. Johnson

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