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Thread: Appeasing the Dice gods
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2021-05-12, 06:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Gender
Appeasing the Dice gods
This whole post probably should be in blue.
I've been playing online with digital dice for the last year and now thanks to the vaccine (yay medical science), I've finally been able to play D&D in person again using my real dice and being with friends again. However, during last nights session I barely rolled higher than a 10 on my d20 (including 8 natural 1s, one being on a death save). I used all my normal methods, switching dice, rolling out the bad luck, putting the bad d20s in dice jail, even playing the dice of shame, but none of them worked.
So, clearly I've angered the dice gods by playing with digital dice for so long. What can I do to appease them? Do I need to sacrifice one of my old character sheet to a fire? Offer them burnt offerings of pizza, beer, and Cheetos? What do I do?Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2021-05-12, 06:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Sweden
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Roll another thousand times and keep track of the average to make sure it's not a fluke. Make it ten thousand just to be on the safe side.
Black text is for sarcasm, also sincerity. You'll just have to read between the lines and infer from context like an animal
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2021-05-12, 06:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2021-05-12, 06:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
I have the exact opposite problem. My rolls online suck completely (like checking the stats I have 25% less hits than our party Paladin despite making more attacks), but as soon as I roll real dice I do just fine. So I clearly angered the digital dice gods at some point. Maybe we need to exchange dice or something to offset our luck?
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2021-05-12, 06:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Location
- Waterdeep
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Shred one to three character sheets (anything except blank will do), pile the shreddings into a mound and place the offending dice on top of the shredded character throne.
Leave to sit for 1-3 hours then remove dice and place in a clean, empty glass bowl.
Burn the shreddings where the dice can see from the bowl then sprinkle the ashes over the dice.
Remove dice from bowl and roll over a new character sheet at least a dozen times each. Whilst you do so you can choose to recite a prayer, sing a song or play an RPG youtube video.
Return dice to their bag and make sure to greet them when you get them out to use them next.
If this doesnt work, microwave them where their replacements can see.Roll for it 5e Houserules and Homebrew
Old Extended Signature
Awesome avatar by Ceika
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2021-05-12, 07:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Are you properly pre-rolling to get the kinks out?
Also, dice towers. Just... dice towers.
Finally, don't forget, according to all known laws of probability, whenever you get a bad roll, you've created a future good roll to offset it. Just wait. Your time is coming...
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2021-05-12, 07:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Set them out on a patch of pavement or driveway, set your other dice in a circle a safe distance away, then douse the offenders with fuel and set them alight pour encourager les autres.
~ Composer99
D&D 5e Campaign:
Adventures in Eaphandra
D&D 5e Homebrew:
This can be found in my extended homebrew signature!
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2021-05-12, 07:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Roll all the dice multiple times, and save only those that consistently roll low. This way, to balance out the Cosmos and appease the laws of Statistics and Probability, in game they will consistently roll high.
Of course, now that you know about this, you will be trumped by the only other law that actively reacts to human thoughts: Murphy's Law.
So you will play with those dice, they will consistently roll high, and on the following day you will be hit by a stray meteorite or squashed by a piano falling from the 43rd floor.
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2021-05-12, 07:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
RNGsus, as is well known, demands that he be sacrificed to you, not the other way around. You must eat of his flesh and drink of his blood.
You can drink his blood from any die-shaped cup; here's an example. https://www.spencersonline.com/produ...gn=freelisting I believe a Red Beer (a bloody mary made with beer) is traditional.
Here is an example tool for making your own body snacks: https://www.amazon.com/Arbi-Design-D.../dp/B07NKSXF75
Kneel before his altar (your gaming table), sacrifice him to yourself, and repent your sins - did you keep a cocked die instead of re-rolling it? Or perhaps you didn't clean your dice tray. Look, I don't judge - but he does.
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2021-05-12, 07:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2016
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Get your wife or girlfriend to roll each one until a high number comes up. Then they will roll higher going forward. Always works for me.
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2021-05-12, 08:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2018
- Location
- Space Australia
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Sounds like you need to craft some form of magical talisman specifically designed for curing bad rolls
Spoiler: The perfect solution
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2021-05-12, 10:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
I have no advice to contribute, but I want you to know you're not alone. I rolled 5d6 for my spell's damage last night and got a 9. Four 2s and a 1.
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2021-05-12, 11:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2018
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2021-05-12, 11:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2017
- Gender
Re: Appeasing the Dice gods
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer