A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    The rules of this game are thus, continued from before (https://forums.giantitp.com/showthre...rupt-a-Wish-II): the person above you will wish for something. You must grant that wish, in a fashion similar to the "Be Careful What You Wish For" trope. And then make a wish of your own.

    Carried over from the last thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    I wish for a new corrupt a wish thread because we've reached fifty pages.
    Quote Originally Posted by bug_sniper View Post
    Ok, but it will be on fire, just like the "Rolled a one" thread.

    I wish for a fire extinguisher.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    London, UK

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    > "I wish for a fire extinguisher"

    Granted, but it's empty and has a broken dial that reports that it's full.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Male

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    > "I wish for a fire extinguisher"

    Granted, but it's empty and has a broken dial that reports that it's full.
    I wish paddyfool had made a wish in this post.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    He made a wish, but it obviously burned up in the fire.

    Since we already have the fire, I wish for a fire roasted ox.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted but it tastes of burning thread.

    I wish my wish could rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Your wish goes up, and up, and up until it vanishes into the clouds. You never see it again.

    I wish life were a cakewalk.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. There is now cake in your shoes.

    I wish for some cake that has not come in contact with any feet.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, given that said cake is inside a cage of razor wire and inside a ring of fire. In other words, your life is painful and torturous with the promise of something sweet at the end.

    I wish for a firehose and some bolt cutters.

    Edit: The first sentence works nicely for Gravitron5000 too.
    Last edited by bug_sniper; 2021-05-13 at 08:12 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted however they somehow merged together. With a firehose end and the grip of bolt cutters it is officially useless for any firehose, or bolt cutting needs.

    I wish I had a teleporter.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Male

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but its coordinates are fixed and it only teleports you to Pluto, one way.

    I wish Pluto could clear its orbit like a planet.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted! But it absorbs Neptune in the process, leaving a planet that's far more Neptune than Pluto.

    I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

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    Sep 2013
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    Slovakia
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    You don't have to! Welcome to Shawshank prison! The warden wants to have a word with you.

    I wish for a skilled accountant to help me with my taxes for free every year.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

    Quote Originally Posted by Kol Korran View Post
    Instead of having an adventure, from which a cool unexpected story may rise, you had a story, with an adventure built and designed to enable the story, but also ensure (or close to ensure) it happens.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. He uses your ignorance of the process to scam you out of your money.

    I wish Covid-19 would instantly cease to exist so that we can have our lives back.
    LGBTitp

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I wish Covid-19 would instantly cease to exist so that we can have our lives back.
    Granted. All Covid virus cells are killed with an even more contagious and deadly virus strain.

    I wish for a vaccine for this new virus strain.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kerching's Avatar

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    Nov 2020
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    (Location Services Off)

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. Unfortunately, nobody trusts vaccines anymore after the last one failed, and Karens were elected to all positions of power. Everyone dies to misinformation.

    I wish to speak to their manager.
    Blue is for sarcasm or irony.

    This is the internet; everything is public. So yes, you can sig any of my posts.

    Avengers Adventure -- An RPG screencap comic for the MCU. Currently on Iron Man 2, completed Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk. Like Avengers, Roll Initiative, except its updating (and regularly, too)

    I don't own it, but you should definitely check it out

    Incredible avatar by smutmulch

    Spoiler: Past Avatars
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  16. - Top - End - #16
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    You speak to the manager. The manager is a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Nom nom nom.

    I wish my cat would behave herself.
    LGBTitp

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Aug 2018
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    Tomorrow or Yesterday
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    Intersex

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Taxidermist cats are very well behaved.

    I wish college cost less than 160k.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meum est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.
    Answer trivial questions in the OOTS trivia thread!

    You may use whatever pronouns you like when referring to me.

    Avatar is me, as depicted by a friend.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Caerulea View Post
    I wish college cost less than 160k.
    Okay. College now literally costs an arm and a leg...for the first two years then another arm and a leg for the final two years.

    I wish I had four arms and four legs to help me get through college.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but you'll take eight years to graduate.

    I wish I owned a hundred-foot yacht.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    You get a repulsively pungent sculpture of a yacht made up of 100 human feet stitched together. The police have a few questions about 50 missing people.

    I wish that Bucky's horrific bit of footboat artwork would spontaneously combust.
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2021-05-16 at 10:23 AM.

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    I wish that Bucky's horrific bit of footboat artwork would spontaneously combust.
    Okay, but since it's spontaneous, you don't know when it'll happen and are standing right next to it when it finally does burst meaning you are consumed in the flames.

    I wish to heal paddyfool's very bad burn wounds.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    lacco36's Avatar

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    Sep 2013
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    Slovakia
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    Male

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Yeah, the medication worked and the burn wounds are not even visible! ... unfortunately there are some side-effects. Terrible hiccups. Explosive diarrhea. Spontaneous mummification of internal organs. Googly eyes. Plastic ones. All over the body. At random times. Paranoia. Hairy toes.

    I wish for a googly-eyes remedy for the poor guy.
    Call me Laco or Ladislav (if you need to be formal). Avatar comes from the talented linklele.
    Formerly GMing: Riddle of Steel: Soldiers of Fortune

    Quote Originally Posted by Kol Korran View Post
    Instead of having an adventure, from which a cool unexpected story may rise, you had a story, with an adventure built and designed to enable the story, but also ensure (or close to ensure) it happens.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but the treatment causes incurable cancer in literally every part of his body.

    I wish for eternal life.
    LGBTitp

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I wish for eternal life.
    Okay, but life doesn't equal conscious organism so you spend eternity as an indestructible vegetable.

    I wish to extract DNA from the Dire Moose immortal vegetable to create more of them and start a very profitable business selling them.
    Last edited by Magic_Hat; 2021-05-16 at 08:08 PM.

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    While you did succeed in gaining some DNA their indestructible, and immortality are not based on their genes, but mystic powers, and as such do not pertain to the DNa sample, and can not be extracted.

    I wish there was only nothing.

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted! Your wish does nothing.

    I wish I had due process and a competent lawyer.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Female

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. However, you had already shared the video of you microwaving a baby all over the internet and on national TV, your lawyer canít really do much. You go to prison for life.

    I wish I could teleport anywhere I wanted to, at will.
    LGBTitp

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Will doesn't really appreciate you teleporting yourself at him and files for a restraining order.

    I wish to know why Will would want a wandering wand of wonders.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    London, UK

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    You instead gain graphic knowledge of where Will's "wand of wonders" has wandered in the past. You'd really rather not have known, especially as you now face the question of whether to tell Will's wife, in which case, well, Will may need to make a will.

    I wish to be better at innuendo.

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, you are now so good at innuendo that you canít help hiding double meanings in your statements all over the place. You develop so much of a reputation that everyone is always reading way too much into what you say and driving you nuts.

    I wish this job would pay me more money.
    LGBTitp

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