A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    I wish for a magic feather.
    Granted. You grow exactly one magic feather on the tip of your nose. It is annoying, partly obscuring your vision and worst of all, the magic makes sure it can't be removed.

    I wish for magic scissors, capable of cutting magic feathers.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


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  2. - Top - End - #182
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Aug 2006
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    London, UK

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. They are animated and sentient, however, and given any opportunity they prefer to cut off fingers.

    I wish for tasty pasta (not containing fingers)

  3. - Top - End - #183
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. The pasta is delicious and contains no fingers. It does, however, contain plenty of arsenic.

    I wish my house would just clean itself.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2021-10-13 at 11:37 PM.
    LGBTitp

  4. - Top - End - #184
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted your house is now self cleaning of everything accept it now sees everything as germs or dirt that needs to be cleaned. Needless to say nothing is left in the house anymore.

    I wish for a world where everyone gets along

  5. - Top - End - #185
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    I wish for a world where everyone gets along
    Granted. Everybody who doesn't get along with anybody else immediately dies. On the bright side, this means nobody will blame you for this mess and survive.

    I wish for indestructible mobile phones.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


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  6. - Top - End - #186
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Multiple Nokia 3310s incoming at high velocity! Aimed at the groin!

    I wish for indestructible modern mobile phones.

  7. - Top - End - #187
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Indestructible giant iPhones. Whenever you buy an app, an ebook, or a movie, you have to pay Apple another 42.9% of the cost and can only use it on iPhones because there's no other app store. Also, the iPhones are too big to fit into your pocket. Also, you have to buy lightning cables, which get tangled in everything.

    I wish for better app and cable inter-compatability.

  8. - Top - End - #188
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. You have been assimilated and are now one with the Borg. All apps and cables can now be wired directly into your brain.

    I wish Star Trek (the Original Series) hadn’t been cancelled.
    LGBTitp

  9. - Top - End - #189
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I wish Star Trek (the Original Series) hadn’t been cancelled.
    Granted, but the quality drops so much, you wish it had ended instead.

    I wish I could read people's intentions.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


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  10. - Top - End - #190
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted but whenever you do it, you get a migraine.

    I wish for a cure to migraines.

  11. - Top - End - #191
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Mar 2020

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Ever heard of Exploding Head Syndrome?

    I wish for a dish with a fish that is delish.

  12. - Top - End - #192
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

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    Jun 2018
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    No problem, you get some fugu sushi from a chef who just started his training.

    I wish that my new house was already finished.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  13. - Top - End - #193
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by farothel View Post
    No problem, you get some fugu sushi from a chef who just started his training.

    I wish that my new house was already finished.
    Granted, unfortunately the cost increases by 500% for the faster building time and the bank threatens to take the house for itself.

    I wish I would own farothels bank.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


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  14. - Top - End - #194
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Nov 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted! An anonymous whistleblower discovered that they've been cooking the books for decades and are insolvent, and it's your job to oversee the ensuing collapse to refund as much of the bank's deposits as possible.

    I wish she could just understand my feelings for her.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  15. - Top - End - #195
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted but she doesn't understand how to work, cook, bathe, take care of kids, do laundry, or show affection in return.

    I wish I could lift and wield Thor's hammer.

  16. - Top - End - #196
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but he needs it back along with the rest of his tools that you borrowed last week. And it's not Mjolnir, just a regular hammer.

    I wish there was a shortcut that would shave about 2 hours off the drive from my place to my parents.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  17. - Top - End - #197
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Velaryon View Post
    I wish there was a shortcut that would shave about 2 hours off the drive from my place to my parents.
    Granted, but it's private property and the owner is very trigger happy.

    I wish I'd knew somebody who can cast resurrection.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


    More Mafia

  18. - Top - End - #198
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Sure, your arch enemy knows the spell. He doesn't really feel the need to cast it for you.

    I wish I never had any internet connection problems and could always connect with broadband speeds.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  19. - Top - End - #199
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but all that's left on the internet are TikTok videos of people dancing badly and videos of people whose politics are the opposite of yours ranting while driving their car.

    I wish junk food was healthy but still tasted good.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  20. - Top - End - #200
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Velaryon View Post
    I wish junk food was healthy but still tasted good.
    Granted, unfortunately the price increases tenfold.

    I wish you were here...
    Last edited by Rogan; 2021-12-28 at 05:58 PM.

  21. - Top - End - #201
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. And by “you,” you obviously meant Orcus. Hope you two have fun together!

    I wish I had my beautiful singing voice again (male puberty destroyed it).
    LGBTitp

  22. - Top - End - #202
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, you have the singing voice you had as a child... with bronchitis. And you can only sing, never speak.

    I wish I could afford the new, more expensive but healthier and still tasty junk food.
    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Work is the scourge of the gaming classes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kish View Post
    Neither Evershifting List of Perfectly Prepared Spells nor Grounds to Howl at the DM If I Ever Lose is actually a wizard class feature.

  23. - Top - End - #203
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted, but it's only available from a vending machine, somewhere in the middle of the Sahara.

    I wish for a vending machine dowsing rod.

  24. - Top - End - #204
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

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    Jun 2020
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Here's a dousing rod from a vending machine.


    I wish to be beautiful, in an inhuman way. I'm fine with having inhuman psychology with it.

  25. - Top - End - #205
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Granted. You are now the world’s most beautiful aardvark.

    I wish for a vacation.
    LGBTitp

  26. - Top - End - #206
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I wish for a vacation.
    Granted. As soon as you arrive at your destination, the corvid regulations get stricter and you have to stay quarantined the whole time. In a small hotel room without window or room service.

    I wish for an automatic fire extinguisher in the whole forum.
    Spoiler: I'm a seer
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Unavenger View Post
    All the discussion of how weird the half-hour start is seems weirdly prescient, in retrospect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogan View Post
    Can I use my prediction of the half an hour being used to set up Factional chats as proof I am the Seer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rogue_alchemist View Post
    only IRL, not as in game proof, as we all know that recruitment threads don't count for making IG decisions


    More Mafia

  27. - Top - End - #207
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jan 2016

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Ok. The entire Roman Forum is crushed under a giant fire extinguisher.

    I wish for a bag of holding.

  28. - Top - End - #208
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    I sewed some burlap arms on this potato sack for you. If you position the arms just right, they kind of feel like they are holding you.

    I wish for a good recipe for these potatoes that no longer have a sack to be stored in.

  29. - Top - End - #209
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    TwilightSandwic's Avatar

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    Jan 2022
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    The Planet Oasis
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Okay, you've got a great recipe worthy of a five-star resturant... but the extra ingredients are gonna cost you like a million dollars.

    I wish I could eat as much chocolate as I want without damaging my health.
    (Hey! Maybe check out my comic?)


    It's not my fault I was born straight into the future.

  30. - Top - End - #210
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    RedKnightGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

    Quote Originally Posted by TwilightSandwic View Post
    I wish I could eat as much chocolate as I want without damaging my health.
    Granted, but now you're allergic to everything else.


    I wish I owned a huge library that contained every book ever written.
    78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
    The cleric was walking through a forest when he heard a loud explosion. Upon investigation, he quickly uncovered the ruins of a large tower he couldn't remember seeing there before. He decided to search the rubble for anything worth looting. At that point, I told the wizard to start rolling to see if he would stabilise.
    Hi Gac! Sorry for lynching you :(

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