Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

[animorte]

I wish I could just magically make everything ready for Christmas and do all the daily cleaning without having to put in so much time and effort.

Granted! Santa takes over all the gifting and meal arrangements, but the Grinch swoops in and cleans everything up, literally takes everything.

I wish I could adjust the temperature to whatever I desire everywhere I go.

[Hof]

Granted, but anytime you do so every father in a 10 mile radius knows you dared adjust the temperature - and also your exact location.

I wish whatever position I assume when I go to sleep is 100% comfortable

[Bucky]

Granted! You eventually die in a perfectly comfortable house fire.

I wish for a quartet of robotic servants.

[Rogan]

I wish for a quartet of robotic servants.

Granted. I hope you don't mind needing to service them each day, changing oil, charging batteries and so on.

I wish for unlimited energy.

[Dire Moose]

You get it. Right in the face.

I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

[Rogan]

You get it. Right in the face.


I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

[Velaryon]

You get it. Right in the face.

I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

Granted! You have 40 acres of land and a mule... on the moon.

I wish Dire Moose's mule could survive being on the moon.

[Gravitron5000]

Dire Moose has no way to get to the moon, and the mule is ever so lonely :'(

I wish for the moon to come to Dire Moose. How could this possibly go wrong?

[Caedorus]

Dire Moose has no way to get to the moon, and the mule is ever so lonely :'(

I wish for the moon to come to Dire Moose. How could this possibly go wrong?

Clearly, you wish to destroy Dire Moose. However, they manage to gain the moon - meaning that all the resources there are theirs to sell. They are now stupidly rich.
I wish to rob them successfully.

[Dire Moose]

You successfully rob an actual dire moose. You gain one dire moose antler and one enraged dire moose.

I wish to build my 40 acres of moon land into a proper supervillain lair.

[Bucky]

"This is a nice lair we're taking over!" "Yes, it certainly is!"

Oh my, it looks like the lair is now occupied by actual villains.


I wish for a space station.

[Gravitron5000]

Hello, you're listening to Clack FM 93.2, smooth sounds of the space bar.

I wish to be chillin' with those moon villains.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Hello, you're listening to Clack FM 93.2, smooth sounds of the space bar.

I wish to be chillin' with those moon villains.

You are indeed chilling. Mainly because your moon base is located on the dark side of the moon, and currently lacks any form of heating. Perhaps you should consider a better pay for your engineering crew.

I wish to escape this potentially doomed moon base before the inevitable betrayals and struggles over dwindling resources.

[Smoutwortel]

You are indeed chilling. Mainly because your moon base is located on the dark side of the moon, and currently lacks any form of heating. Perhaps you should consider a better pay for your engineering crew.

I wish to escape this potentially doomed moon base before the inevitable betrayals and struggles over dwindling resources.

You're now outside of the base, no you are not in a place with an atmosphere, no you don't have space suit.
you now have 15seconds of decompression before you die.

I wish to be in a situation with condition that can be survived for at least a month.

[Bucky]

Granted, the hospital doing its best to keep you alive, and there's a slim but very real chance that the next round of chemotherapy will lead to a full recovery. Minus the amputated leg, of course.

I wish for a fine painting to hang on my bedroom wall.

[Oerkali]

Granted, the hospital doing its best to keep you alive, and there's a slim but very real chance that the next round of chemotherapy will lead to a full recovery. Minus the amputated leg, of course.

I wish for a fine painting to hang on my bedroom wall.

Granted. And as an added bonus, you now get to enjoy being Dorian Gray.

I wish for the ability to always know what cards are in a pack before I buy and open it.

[wrathcough]

Granted. And as an added bonus, you now get to enjoy being Dorian Gray.

I wish for the ability to always know what cards are in a pack before I buy and open it.

Granted -- every single card pack you ever buy consists solely of the 1991 Marc Jackson basketball card with the Menendez brothers in the background. Not a lot of variety anymore, but you'll always know.

I wish to eat as much pizza as I want without gaining weight.

[Gravitron5000]

Granted. You no longer want to eat pizza.

I wish for a backyard pizza oven.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Granted. You no longer want to eat pizza.

I wish for a backyard pizza oven.

Granted. You mean a regular pizza oven deposited unceremoniously in your backyard right? I hope you have a forklift or something to move it inside. You’ll have to hook up a chimney and a gas line but I guess you are being reasonable by not having a wish granting entity mess with your house or your utilities directly. I gave you one of the big brick ones they use in restaurants which might be hard to move, but if you wanted a normal oven, I don’t think you’d have specified pizza.

I wish to have my armor back so I can board the supervillain inhabited space station I am now directly outside.

[Rogan]

I wish to have my armor back so I can board the supervillain inhabited space station I am now directly outside.

Granted. However, it's not in its best shape and repairs would cost a fortune and take at least 3 months. Good luck surviving this long!

I wish to travel back in time for 6 months, while keeping my memories and relative position to earth.

[MPHJack7]

I wish to travel back in time for 6 months, while keeping my memories and relative position to earth.

Granted! You've travelled six months back in time, to September 2022. You are in your current position relative to the earth; in fact, you're frozen there. You will have to stand there, utterly immobile, and fully aware of your surroundings. For sixth months time, till it's March 2023 again. You can't do anything. You just sit still, fully aware, for six whole months.

~

I wish I could consistently remain mentally focused on whatever it is I want to remain mentally focused on at the moment, for as much time as I need to be for that specific task and nothing more or less. It'll help with schoolwork.

[Oerkali]

Granted! You've travelled six months back in time, to September 2022. You are in your current position relative to the earth; in fact, you're frozen there. You will have to stand there, utterly immobile, and fully aware of your surroundings. For sixth months time, till it's March 2023 again. You can't do anything. You just sit still, fully aware, for six whole months.

~

I wish I could consistently remain mentally focused on whatever it is I want to remain mentally focused on at the moment, for as much time as I need to be for that specific task and nothing more or less. It'll help with schoolwork.

Granted. Your focus increases to the point where you ignore your own bodily needs and surroundings while you work on the task. Your stomach growls for food and your throat is parched, but your mind ignores them. All that remains, all that matters, is your schoolwork. But it's never finished - there's always something to double-check, something to edit, something to improve. The work never ends, and so your focus never ends.

Wow, that got dark.

I wish for a nice BLT sandwich, made with proper, fresh ingredients and with nothing unexpected or unwanted added to it.

[bug_sniper]

They are made with Bulgarians, Lebanese, and Turks. Specifically, you have a manwich with fresh, properly sliced meat coming from their wanted criminals. You get a sense of deja vu and feel as though this was to be expected as though you've wished for this several times already so when it falls onto your plate, it's not unexpected.

I wish for this town to be not deserted but desserted.

[Rogan]

I wish for this town to be not deserted but desserted.

Granted!

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[ziproot]

Granted!

EDIT: I was going to give you a txt file containing your wish, but I'm afraid it's corrupted.

I wish for you to say "granted."

[bug_sniper]

Ok, but I will only quote the word "granted" in your corruption, and I'm not starting it off with that word.

I wish for a licorice rope that is 1km long.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, but you have to poop it out.


I wish for a fully functional lightsaber.

[Starlit Dragon]

Granted, but you have to poop it out.


I wish for a fully functional lightsaber.

Granted! Here's a fully functional lightsaber, belonging to Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler. Her connection to the Dark Side is strong enough that she always knows where it is. Good luck!

I wish that MutantDragon would have a chance against Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler.

[World Illusion]

Granted! Here's a fully functional lightsaber, belonging to Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler. Her connection to the Dark Side is strong enough that she always knows where it is. Good luck!

I wish that MutantDragon would have a chance against Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler.

Granted! they now have a 50/50 shot at defeating Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler at hockey!

I wish i had a refreshing beverage.

[MutantDragon]

Granted! they now have a 50/50 shot at defeating Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler at hockey!

I wish i had a refreshing beverage.

Granted! You now have a beverage that refreshes everyone else's embarrassing memories of you!

I wish I had the powers of Spider-Man.