Questionable Content XVII: "My Brain Is Trash And I Live On The Internet"

[Kish]

I mean whatever you consider the comic to have established that May tried to steal.

I'd put that far enough back that "the development of sapient AIs with any legal rights at all," which is also unestablished but presented as recent, would be the barrier, not the jet itself, but that's me.

[BRC]

So, what SHOULD be done with somebody like May?

She's gone through the Justice system, and has been released. She, as far as we know, has no intentions of committing a crime again (She seems terrified by the concept), but seems to be of the opinion that what she regrets about her original crime is getting caught, rather than trying to do it.

Unlike a lot of criminals, she doesn't really have a sob story about herself? She wasn't forced into it by desperation or anything.

On the other hand, her desires seemed pretty specific. It's not clear that she presents much of a risk when it comes to being a repeat offender, especially if she's kept out of positions where she could steal enough money to buy a fighter jet chassis for herself.

So, we have a question of "What is the Goal", if the goal is to prevent May from committing another crime, well done.
If the Goal is to make sure May suffers in proportion to the severity of her crime, well, you have to start questioning "How much should somebody Suffer for attempted theft of over a million dollars so they could joyride in a fighter jet body".

Like, is the objection here that May shouldn't be trusted with such a role (I'd argue she could. Besides being terrified of Robot Jail, and a bit of a jerk, she does seem to take it to heart when people do right by her. I don't see her betraying Marigold's trust anytime soon), or that she doesn't deserve the quality-of-life improvement that would come with such a job.

[Rodin]

So, what SHOULD be done with somebody like May?

She's gone through the Justice system, and has been released. She, as far as we know, has no intentions of committing a crime again (She seems terrified by the concept), but seems to be of the opinion that what she regrets about her original crime is getting caught, rather than trying to do it.

Unlike a lot of criminals, she doesn't really have a sob story about herself? She wasn't forced into it by desperation or anything.

On the other hand, her desires seemed pretty specific. It's not clear that she presents much of a risk when it comes to being a repeat offender, especially if she's kept out of positions where she could steal enough money to buy a fighter jet chassis for herself.

So, we have a question of "What is the Goal", if the goal is to prevent May from committing another crime, well done.
If the Goal is to make sure May suffers in proportion to the severity of her crime, well, you have to start questioning "How much should somebody Suffer for attempted theft of over a million dollars so they could joyride in a fighter jet body".

Like, is the objection here that May shouldn't be trusted with such a role (I'd argue she could. Besides being terrified of Robot Jail, and a bit of a jerk, she does seem to take it to heart when people do right by her. I don't see her betraying Marigold's trust anytime soon), or that she doesn't deserve the quality-of-life improvement that would come with such a job.

It depends on if we're talking in the general or the specific.

In general May should not be trusted with such a role. We know how she acts around people she likes. This is a very small number of people. What she would do when faced with a client she doesn't like and a large sum of their money is a very different question than what she would do with Marigold's money.

May's situation is unfair in some ways and quite sensible in others. She got given a body that lasted...weeks? Months? Nowhere near long enough for someone to become financially stable. That's unfair. She works crap jobs because she isn't allowed to sell processor time and businesses aren't willing to risk hiring a recently released felon for financial crimes far worse than what your average non-violent offender is trying to overcome. That's perfectly fair, and May should expect to work crap jobs for a few years until she's built up enough of a reputation to put her past behind her. Let me also stress again that a large portion of my position hinges on her having stolen 750 million dollars.. It's not like she got arrested for having a dime bag or breaking into the change machine at the laundromat. So yes, I disagree strongly with Jeph's "excons are pure as the driven snow and society is wrong to distrust them" narrative here. It may not be the most moral thing in the world but I refuse to blame people for not trusting someone who has proven they are willing to steal money on that scale. Without having seen her inner self through the webcomic, would you hire someone with May's history?

In the specific, I don't believe she'd steal Marigold's money. As you said, she is honorable in her own way and wouldn't betray Marigold's trust like that. However, I still wouldn't hire her to be Marigold's business manager. She has poor impulse control, terrible people skills, and we haven't seen anything indicating she's particularly organized. Outside of her banking AI gig (or renting processer time) she has not been shown to have any practical skills and would likely be working at a convenience store even without the felony conviction. She doesn't have to steal Marigold's money in order to lose it all - she would just as easily lose it by making bad decisions. Momo's justification is that May worked for a bank and knew enough to fiddle the numbers, ergo she'd be good with money. I'd argue that her crime makes that statement demonstrably untrue.

The best advice for Marigold is to hire a trained professional to be her business manager. Someone with a degree who does it for a living. Not Momo, despite her obvious capability in the field. Not May, because of her obvious lack of capability.

[BRC]

It depends on if we're talking in the general or the specific.

In general May should not be trusted with such a role. We know how she acts around people she likes. This is a very small number of people. What she would do when faced with a client she doesn't like and a large sum of their money is a very different question than what she would do with Marigold's money.

May's situation is unfair in some ways and quite sensible in others. She got given a body that lasted...weeks? Months? Nowhere near long enough for someone to become financially stable. That's unfair. She works crap jobs because she isn't allowed to sell processor time and businesses aren't willing to risk hiring a recently released felon for financial crimes far worse than what your average non-violent offender is trying to overcome. That's perfectly fair, and May should expect to work crap jobs for a few years until she's built up enough of a reputation to put her past behind her. Let me also stress again that a large portion of my position hinges on her having stolen 750 million dollars.. It's not like she got arrested for having a dime bag or breaking into the change machine at the laundromat. So yes, I disagree strongly with Jeph's "excons are pure as the driven snow and society is wrong to distrust them" narrative here. It may not be the most moral thing in the world but I refuse to blame people for not trusting someone who has proven they are willing to steal money on that scale. Without having seen her inner self through the webcomic, would you hire someone with May's history?

In the specific, I don't believe she'd steal Marigold's money. As you said, she is honorable in her own way and wouldn't betray Marigold's trust like that. However, I still wouldn't hire her to be Marigold's business manager. She has poor impulse control, terrible people skills, and we haven't seen anything indicating she's particularly organized. Outside of her banking AI gig (or renting processer time) she has not been shown to have any practical skills and would likely be working at a convenience store even without the felony conviction. She doesn't have to steal Marigold's money in order to lose it all - she would just as easily lose it by making bad decisions. Momo's justification is that May worked for a bank and knew enough to fiddle the numbers, ergo she'd be good with money. I'd argue that her crime makes that statement demonstrably untrue.

The best advice for Marigold is to hire a trained professional to be her business manager. Someone with a degree who does it for a living. Not Momo, despite her obvious capability in the field. Not May, because of her obvious lack of capability.

First of all, and this is one of the places where Comedy and Social Commentary clash, I feel like May's situation doesn't neatly map to any common real-world situation.

May tried to embezzle 750 million dollars. She emerges from prison broke and destitute with no established support network.

There are people who try to embezzle large amounts of money, and there are people who get out of prison without a penny to their name and nobody to turn to for help. But I'm (And my opinion is not especially well-informed here), not sure there is that much overlap between the two groups. Jeph is trying to have his cake and eat it too, May is somebody who stole a comically large amount of money for a dumb reason (Comedy), but the social-commentary angle of her story seems to map better onto real-world minor offenders.

Like, there's a story to be told about the difficulties facing an ex-con trying to put their life together, but it doesn't quite work if their crime was attempted theft of $750 million dollars so they could joyride in a fighter jet.


As for May's Skills

She was a Bank AI, presumably akin to some sort of accountant. It's not quite clear how an AI would get recruited to such a role. We know AIs are often purpose-built, and then later can choose what they want to be doing, so it's not clear if she was just spun up in a server farm and dumped into a position of considerable importance at the bank "From Birth" or if she was selected for that specific role later. Maybe she started out handling smaller accounts before she was entrusted with $750 million dollars.

We also don't know if she worked for the Bank for some time before trying to pull her scheme, or if they just turned her on, told her to "Keep track of all the money", and she decided to steal it a week later.

If we assume that she did her job properly for at least some time, she's presumably got the basic accounting skills needed for this role, which will probably mostly require tracking budget and such.

I don't know if she could just download and comprehend the relevant tax laws, but maybe?

I'm not entirely sure how complex the finances of being a successful streamer are, but it doesn't seem like that's the sort of thing that would require top-level accounting skills. Mostly just reasonable spreadsheeting, focus, and time to throw at the problem.

The rest of the Job as MoMo describes it seems more like being an Assistant than a Manager. She's not going to be making business decisions, just kind of taking care of things. May is pretty determined to not screw up whatever second chances she gets. She hates working at the Convenience Store, but we haven't seen much indication that she's been slacking off or anything.

Really, the job seems to mostly be somebody reasonably competent and trustworthy who can be full-time dedicated to taking care of things for Marigold, so Marigold (The Talent) Can focus on streaming/decisions without getting overwhelmed. Dale also seems to be pretty involved in this whole enterprise.

The biggest issue I'd see would be May's people skills, although the fact that she's been able to hold down a retail job for a while indicates that she's at least capable of basic conversation without insulting somebody. This is fine if she's just going to be picking up laundry and filtering through emails or whatever, but it could be an issue if she's supposed to represent Marigold in any sort of negotiation or other serious professional exchange without a set script.

Unless her purpose in that scenario would mostly be to make sure nobody takes advantage of Marigold, in which case a suspicious misanthropic AI who understands accounting is a pretty good buffer against anybody trying to screw you over with a fine-print contract. However, her attitude is just as likely to torpedo any good-faith offers that come their way.

[Traab]

Mays biggest issues are impulse control. Thats what led her to steal all that money to buy a jet, thats what still gets her into trouble and causes incidents such as, oh I dunno, streaking down main street topless because she turbo quit her current job to be a manager for marigolds career. Her abrasive personality combined with her tendency to act on a whim would make me very unwilling to hire her for much of anything, her ex con status just serves as punctuation for the kind of trouble she could get into without thinking.

[Mechalich]

May's situation is unfair in some ways and quite sensible in others. She got given a body that lasted...weeks? Months?

At least months. May got out of robot jail prior to Faye getting fired (2710 v 2880. Her body was at least reasonably functional until she ripped her face and arm off around comic 3300, so almost six hundred strips, and it was still operating to some degree up until comic 4000 when she had something strongly resembling sex with Sven before her body entered its terminal failure spiral. The problem is that there are so few benchmarks for comic time we have no idea how long this is supposed to have been. In fact we can only note that May's body is substandard because Momo has had her body for longer since May's actually been around longer than almost all other embodied AI characters.

[eee]

Having worked an abacus, I can say that May's implied disdain is misplaced. She might be better served by one of those than a calculator. Although AI's may have calculator APPs as part of their chassis software.

[Wraith]

They keep calling May a manager, but I think it's pretty clear that she's more accurately a PA. It's not like she's going to be engaging in high-level financial transactions and arranging or signing contracts on Marigold's behalf or anything so complex, she's just a sentient calender who will also moderate Twitch chat. At most she might end up as a gofer between Marigold and the bank if she decides to purchase a house and needs keeping track of the paperwork, which ultimately Marigold will sign and be responsible for. It's barely a step up from working retail; some people use unpaid interns as PA's after all.

I'm on the side of those who say that May is horribly unsuited for this role for a large variety of reasons, but not because she's an ex-con. Least of all, because I firmly believe that working for your friends and family only ever ends in disaster; May is abrasive enough, and Marigold poorly socialised enough, that they're going to generate conflict and I predict that its going to be the sulky, passive-aggressive kind rather than the explosive, interesting kind.

Having worked an abacus, I can say that May's implied disdain is misplaced. She might be better served by one of those than a calculator. Although AI's may have calculator APPs as part of their chassis software.

First Jeph slanders .pdf's and then abaci - his so called hipster cred is shockingly ill-informed!

[Vinyadan]

Sounds like a job for Tilly/Taffy.

[Max_Killjoy]

Sounds like a job for Tilly/Taffy.

There's a long list of characters I'd rather have back before that one.

[Traab]

Yeah im pretty sure she needs less of a business manager and more of a schedule keeper who can get marigold moving. I think tilly would drive her nuts like happened with hannerlore with the drive to impress making her push things further and faster than marigold would be comfortable with. Maybe im wrong, maybe marigold would actually like to see how big she can grow this burger oni thing and try to become the next pewdipie (minus the scandals) as she rules youtube with her awesome vr anime curves and gaming skillz.

[Eldan]

I mean, if the job is to yell at Marigold to stop procrastinating and do her job, I'm sure May can do that. If there's any actual business involved, she should really reconsider that. Because I'm not sure if you gave May access to your bank account, she wouldn't spend it all on something stupid she thinks is awesome. With the best of intentions for you.

[The Glyphstone]

Maybe Jeph just got sick of drawing May behind the gas station counter.

[InvisibleBison]

Maybe Jeph just got sick of drawing May behind the gas station counter.

If so, this seems like a bit of an overreaction. It's not like the only time May showed up in the story was when someone went to that gas station; if Jeph didn't want to draw it any more, he could just not set scenes there.

[Willie the Duck]

Right, but if he's done with whatever plot arcs need her to be behind that counter, she's free to be used for other plots. He is effectively just not setting scenes there, with the side benefit of her being able to more readily participate in this new 'Marigold is a streaming star' arc.

[Max_Killjoy]

The looks on Hanner's face in the third and fourth panel are... my vibe, a lot of the time.

[georgie_leech]

The looks on Hanner's face in the third and fourth panel are... my vibe, a lot of the time.

Really captures that "I know this isn't going to help but I can't do otherwise" frustration.

[georgie_leech]

Dangit, we lost the last non-standard robot of the cast.

[VoxRationis]

I don't know who has apparently been asking for this.

[Mechalich]

This development raises a rather important immediate question: how in the **** did he afford that? This is not an idle question either, since unless it is handled with extreme delicacy it is likely to absolutely torpedo May's whole storyline about struggling to afford a new body (though the recent Marigold developments already did some of that).

[Agi Hammerthief]

This development raises a rather important immediate question: how in the **** did he afford that? This is not an idle question either, since unless it is handled with extreme delicacy it is likely to absolutely torpedo May's whole storyline about struggling to afford a new body (though the recent Marigold developments already did some of that).

he sold CPU time?
his old body was pretty low maintenance, I guess.
and he spend most of his time hooked up surfing porn anyways.

[Agi Hammerthief]

I don't know who has apparently been asking for this.

that „you‘ve been asking for it“ refers to the t-shirt
it’s been up since strip 4521

[Wraith]

Remember that Pintsize's original chassis was some kind of experimental military prototype? It's been mentioned repeatedly that he could sell it to collectors for "thousands" of dollars if he felt like it, he's just never had the inclination... Until now, possibly. To say nothing of the money he's saved up by renting out his processors over the years; he had over $200 to hand in order to hire Faye to build him a giant metal dong, and who knows how much more he's saved up before and since then?

Yet another character apparently sitting on untold riches off-camera, cashing in "just because". Coming up next month: Marten wins the lottery, even though he doesn't remember ever buying a ticket.

[Morquard]

I hope this turns out to be a Nightmare and Claire wakes up to the real pintsize whispering subliminal messages into her ear. Everything else would be too horrifying to contemplate.

[Agi Hammerthief]

Coming up next month: Marten wins the lottery, even though he doesn't remember ever buying a ticket.

happes to plenty of people on the internet.

Spoiler: Mr. Thomas Baldassare

Show

as soon as we receive the activation fee of $50.00 USD we will make the delivery of your Winning fund valued sum of $8,500,000.00 USD to your address between 24 hours

[Traab]

Pintsize has always had money to spend on his random zany antics. For all we know, this is something he bugged bubbles to bring in so he could use it for a prank. A cheap shell to try and startle claire then back to normal. Or maybe he decided he was tired of being the only lap dog sized robot in the room and bought himself a new one. Im sure by friday we will have it settled.

[Willie the Duck]

This development raises a rather important immediate question: how in the **** did he afford that? This is not an idle question either, since unless it is handled with extreme delicacy it is likely to absolutely torpedo May's whole storyline about struggling to afford a new body (though the recent Marigold developments already did some of that).

Her being a felon who couldn't do work in virtual space or sell her processor cycles was an established piece of the struggling ex-con storyline. If even silly ol' never-seen-working Pintsize can scrape together enough money to buy a new body (even after all the sculpted metal dongs and other flights of fancy), in my mind that supports her storyline.

Anyways, ugh! This is ugly. I mean, maybe under the googly eyes there's something more appropriate, but nothing is going to make 'Pintsize, but in a body where Jeph feels the need to put him in shorts' seem good (I mean, maybe good for wacky hijinks, but not good as in actually pleasing).

[Wraith]

For all we know, this is something he bugged bubbles to bring in so he could use it for a prank. A cheap shell to try and startle claire then back to normal.

I'm kind-of expecting this to be the case mostly by the fact that if Pintsize were going to get a humanoid chassis permanently, there is no way I would believe that he would choose the same sort of milquetoast, non-threatening little dweeb-body that Winslow did.

Her being a felon who couldn't do work in virtual space or sell her processor cycles was an established piece of the struggling ex-con storyline. If even silly ol' never-seen-working Pintsize can scrape together enough money to buy a new body (even after all the sculpted metal dongs and other flights of fancy), in my mind that supports her storyline.

Good of Jeph to pre-empt that plot hole, I guess. Pintsize has gone out of his way to point out that for whatever mischief he has committed, he's never been arrested for it let alone convicted. Makes sense, within the context of the world.

This does however open up the new plot hole which asks, "If Pintsize can rent out his processors and single-handedly afford an $X,000 chassis even after wasting his money on metal dongs, why did Momo and Winslow have to borrow money instead of doing the same thing?" to which the answer I presume is "shut up and stop looking behind that curtain".

[Ornithologist]

Pintsize has always had access to questionably sourced money.

Also, with being the last old style Anthropc in the main cast, He has become so one note, that he basically doesn't appear anymore. This seems as good a place as any to change up the character.

It reminds me of Belkar, but if he woke up form his fever coma and just said "nah, I'll just go back to stabbin dudes"


on a sort of unrealted note, I'm sure Pintsize would have a much easier time securing a loan to upgrade than May. No formal felony record, plus colateral in the form of the collector's model of body. Also, He can be very convincing if he actually tries, and likely used some of Martens credit line too. Because he's awful.

[Manga Shoggoth]

Might it be the body Hannelore was given (that Winslow tried out for a while)? The hair is the wrong colour, but that's not necessarly an issue.

Although I thought Halfpint wanted to avoid the full body experiencw as the other body let him get away with stuff.

Hopefully not May's old body, even for a prank...