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2021-05-23, 04:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game
(Had to tweak the title so it'd fit)
This is the (unlucky) thirteenth incarnation of this thread of insanity and mutual frustration, both real rules and jokes are welcome in this thread.
For Newcomers, we've more or less abandoned numbers in favor of individual sets of asterixes for the sake of rules and subrules because numbers inevitably get confused and mismatched and this helps keep things straight.
Previous Threads:
1: [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
2: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
3: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
4: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
5: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law
6: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist We Swear!
7: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
8: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?
9: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!
10: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice
11: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
12: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not PermissionI also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2021-05-23, 04:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* If it weighs more than my carrying capacity I may not loot it.
** No matter how many pulleys I have.
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2021-05-23, 05:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* If we came here to rescue Pokémon, using those same Pokémon as suicidal cannon fodder is frowned upon.
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2021-05-23, 02:18 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2017
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*Asking how much one of the airships cannon's weighs is a reasonable question.
**Trying to then figure out a way to boost your characters carrying capacity enough so you can easily lug it around isn't.Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays
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2021-05-23, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- 61.2° N, 149.9° W
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* Not allowed to abuse massive wealth, vehicle building rules, the "living vehicle" option, and necromancy, to have a squad of zombie 50mm autocannons firing APDS disguised as a rock & roll band.
** No eyeball sucking demon hamburgers.
*** My PC may not have a villian lair like in Big Trouble in Little China.
**** Not allwed a PC so mindlessly and over the top stupid-heroic-good that they're more dangerous and destructive than the villan.
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2021-05-23, 04:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*I cannot have a self-portable lair that's bigger on the inside than it is on the outsider and small enough to navigate most buildings, equip it with external weapons that I can control from the inside and an intercom, and then just never leave it
**Relatedly, I can't be a superhero whose gimick is that he has what is essentially a tank that he just lives in.
***My Timelord can't be their own TARDIS
****I can't have a TARDISI also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2021-05-23, 04:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* Cannot run a Whoniverse game based on the classic series.
** Especially if I base it on the first six seasons.
*** I am to explain how regeneration works if this is the lore I'm using.
Okay, I've not had the chance to run it, but I do have campaign notes for a Doctor Who campaign based on the First and Second Doctor eras. Extrapolating from the episodes the Time Lords become an advanced human* civilisation, 'Renewal' doesn't have a limit but requires technology (included in your standard TARDIS}, and time travel is very, very rare (done only by the Time Lords and Daleks). Sadly I don't know anybody who'd be interested, even Classic Who could be a bit of a stretch.
* Based on the Doctor having no noticeable second heart and referring to himself as human.
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2021-05-23, 05:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
- Location
- Location, Location
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
dozen: I am not allowed to put ranks in Craft: (Baking)
dozen: I'm not allowed to put ranks in Profession: (Baker) either.
*I am not allowed to bring the Borg into the Mass Effect universe.
**Even if it would be neat to see them steamroll the Reapers.
***Bringing Species 8472 into the Mass Effect universe is right out.
****I mean, Species 8472 can steamroll the Borg and aren't exactly the friendly sort either.
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2021-05-23, 07:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* My Khornate Berserker can't be someone who can only say "Blood for the Blood God" as if they are a 40k version of Groot
* not allowed to bring The Doctor into the Mass Effect universe, even if it would be funny to watch him steamroll the Reapers
** and fix the genophage.
*** and quip at everyone for using guns
**** and treat the Asari as a young inexperienced race.
***** it would be worth it if the Reapers say "you cannot stop us Shephard and Shepard says "Yes, but he can" and points to the Doctor
****** and if Shepard somehow gets a win over The Doctor in return in some way to tweak his nose.
* Jojo's Bizarre Fallout is a campaign idea that will never happen.
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2021-05-23, 08:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2016
- Location
- Corvallis, OR
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* May no longer suggest that the party's resident inter-racial (halfling and half-elf) gay couple assassinate the local duke by being flamboyantly, over-the-top gay in her presence and driving her into a rage-induced stroke.
** Even if she is an elderly, racist, xenophobic male-hating jerk with a weak heart. She's not a homophobe, just hates men as anything other than mobile baby-making devices, believing that's the will of the gods. Oh, and hates outsiders, magic users, and adventurers.
** Doing this may cause political consequences that undermine the whole point of trying to talk to her in the first place.Dawn of Hope: a 5e setting. http://wiki.admiralbenbo.org
Rogue Equivalent Damage calculator, now prettier and more configurable!
5e Monster Data Sheet--vital statistics for all 693 MM, Volo's, and now MToF monsters: Updated!
NIH system 5e fork, very much WIP. Base github repo.
NIH System PDF Up to date main-branch build version.
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2021-05-24, 12:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* My Superman Expy can't be a stereotypical little green man alien who is just using advanced tech to emulate the powers
** Or a xenomorph like alien that has wings, doesn't look human at all but still acts like Superman.
*** or point out that some vampires technically have most of Superman's powers (Super-Strength, Invulnerability, Flight, Super Speed) and that if you count Dio, then a vampire could have laser eye beams as well
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2021-05-24, 12:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2020
- Location
- rural Iowa
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* I am not allowed to add HP to all the monsters and dramatically increase the number and deadliness of traps in The Tomb of Horrors.
** I am not allowed to devise additional trap and monster laden levels for The Tomb of Horrors.
***Giving the demi-lich a demi-lich consort is unfair and also not allowed.
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2021-05-24, 12:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 02:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
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2021-05-24, 02:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
*May not do a game that's just a bunch of high-level Star Wars characters transplanted into the events of the Mass Effect trilogy.
**May not baffle at things like AI being illegal when sapient droids are commonplace back home.
***May not draw attention to how peculiar it is that humans seemed to have evolved independently in two separate galaxies with the same ethnic categorization and environmental markers to the point of being completely identical except for the fact that the ones in the Milky Way way don't have Midichlorians.
****May not comment on the convenient coincidence that Basic and English are virtually identical languages and that all of the aliens in the Milky Way speak English and refer to things in Earth Time, which is identical to Coruscant Time.
*****May not play Darth Imperious.
******Cannot say "a Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into X" in a joking manner literally every time we go anywhere.
*******Three people can't roll over the entire Mass Effect Milky Way stomping the Reapers, the Batarians, Cereberus, and the Citadel Council all at once, even if the Force is on their side and nobody has any idea how to deal with their powers and weapons.I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2021-05-24, 02:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Oh. I suppose the "use cannon fodder to set traps off" strategy would make it easier.
How's the... what's the term, power balance? How's Mass Effect compared to Star Wars? I don't know much but I was of the impression Reapers were pretty damn strong and there are a lot of them.Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 02:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Maybe lasers shot at them and non instantaneous projectiles suddenly follow star wars rules and can be automatically blocked by lightsabers invalidating all their ranged weapons basically forcing them to use melee weapons and explosives which are both considerably less practical against individual people when you do not want to bring down the buildings on yourselves
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2021-05-24, 02:42 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 03:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
In EU materials, it's shown that a sufficiently powerful or skilled Force user can use The Force the throw around ships about the size of The Reapers. And that's basically what the Reapers are, giant starships. Sapient Star Ships with Techno-Organic and Biomechanical parts, but Star Ships none the less.
And you'll note that Darth Imperious is banned by name.
Darth Imperious is a Legends canon character from the Old Republic, being the "default" Sith Inquisitor PC if you skip straight to the DLC instead of playing through the inquisitor's storyline manually. Notably, the name Imperious is the name you get if you're considered a Lightsider when you complete the Inquisitor's class storyline.
The Inquisitor is a Force Prodigy like Yoda, the Skywalkers, Palpatine, or Rey. Just, inherently very powerful with the Force and naturally talented at using it. The same seems to be true of all Force Sensitive PCs in The Old Republic, but it's explicitly commented on in the case of the Inquisitor.
The Inquisitor is something called a Force Walker, a living nexus point where different aspects of the Force comingle. What exactly this entails is unknown, but it is known that it gives them power over the dead. Allowing them to do things like Bind the Ghosts of five powerful ancient Lords of the Sith to themselves in order to access those spirits knowledge and power and slowly take it for themself. The Inquisitor is also immortal for as long as they have a least one ghost bound to them, being physically unable to die.
The Inquisitor also undergoes special training with a group of Grey Jedi on Voss that allows them to perform a ritual that lets them deal with all of their mental issues and drastically, drastically strengthen their mind by literally killing their mental problems, and underwent extensive bio-augmentation via a piece of ancient technology with the biology of every Force Sensitive humanoid species in the galaxy encoded into it which made their body physically superhuman to an unknown degree.
Now, since the Inquisitor is canonically a Lightsider it's highly likely that they released those Ghosts prior to absorbing all of their power(Or put them to rest, in which case it's unknown what happens to the power of the Ghosts) but they'd still have access to vast reserves of natural power, the knowledge of five Lords of the Sith, and a portion of each Lord's power so tossing Star Ships around isn't beyond the pale of what they should be able to do.
If it is assumed that the Jedi and the Mandolorian are similarly powerful/skilled/equipped then that's... Basically, as long as multiple Reapers don't gang up on them.I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2021-05-24, 03:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 08:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2020
- Location
- rural Iowa
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Yes, yes it is the one. I may have gotten a little carried away there. Or, as my players pointed out, a whole lot carried away.
* I am not allowed to increase the size of the Ravager by a factor of 100 just because I found it inconceivable that a puny little beholder "only" a mile across could destroy one whole world, let alone hundreds of worlds across multiple spheres.Last edited by Ides Usher; 2021-05-24 at 09:09 AM.
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2021-05-24, 08:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 09:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2020
- Location
- rural Iowa
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
The Ravager is a mechamagical beholder from the Spelljammer module Wildspace that when assembled is about a mile across. The asteroid which contains its unassembled parts and transports it from sphere to sphere is much larger, actually a small planet. My version required an asteroid that was about 1000 miles across, not big planet size, but larger than any mere asteroid.
My earlier post may have been a little misleading. When I said size, I didn't mean volume, I meant diameter.Last edited by Ides Usher; 2021-05-24 at 10:04 AM.
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2021-05-24, 09:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
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2021-05-24, 10:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- 61.2° N, 149.9° W
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
* Not allowed to spring Spelljammer monsters on unsuspecting players who have never fought anything "larger" than 20x20, capable organizing a real naval action, and with ranged attacks based on thousands of feet of range.
** Dropping a dwarven citadel on their city from orbit and following up with a 20 cannon broadside on the wizard from outside fireball range is just rude.
*** Not allowed to giggle about "canonical cannons" in D&D while orcs engage in massed cannon fire at PCs.
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2021-05-24, 11:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Seoul
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.
Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Ao3 FanFiction.net DeviantArt
We also have a TvTropes page!
Currently playing: Red Hand of Doom(campaign journal)Campaign still going on, but journal discontinued until further notice.
Extended sig here.
-
2021-05-24, 02:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
With ballistas, catapults, bombards (black powder cannons), jettisons, and gnomish sweepers. To be fair, Telok is running a Warhammer 40k/Spelljammer mashup called Dungeons the Dragoning, which takes Spelljammer (already dialed up to 11) and dials it up to 12.
Depends on how much of a debutante your spellcaster is and how rare your DM decides to make smoke power.Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2021-05-24, 03:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- 61.2° N, 149.9° W
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
Canonically (stop giggling, stop giggling) spelljammers take 1 hull damage per 10 regular damage, cannon did... 2d6 hull? (I'd have to check the books at home) out to something like 8 or 10 hexes, and ship combat was on... thousand yard? across hexes. Since it was AD&D a 20th fighter with 18 Con had around 130 hp, but the radiant dragons had a wing buffet attack that did 2d10 hit points + auto "ship shaken" critical as a 200' area/range. And the wing buffets are never the "strong" attacks. On the other hand smoke powder was 50 gp a charge and a cannon used 10 charges a shot. Wizards had damage, but outside of stuff like Teleport their spells only worked at ramming range.
DtD is an attempt at wh40k + exalted + d&d + "what other awesone can we cram in here?". I did run a game, shut down by the plague and not restarted yet. So I'm rewriting chunks of the books to be better. Finished book 1 & currently working on book 2. Still undecided as to including stats for tarrasques as torpedo ammo.
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2021-05-24, 04:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking
I've played one and am playing another game of it as a tiefling vampire, first was an attempt at a gish but I learned my lesson from that and now play pure assassin, because at least with Rogue Trader psyker powers, I know how to optimize a character to safely cast spells.
* any concept like "demon vampire assassin" is too edgy
** can't go the other direction and become an "angel dryad knight" to champion both moral and environmental causes at the same time
*** figuring out ways to both be angel and demon are not allowed
**** My next DnD character cannot be a combination of angel, demon, slaad and modron
* My Fallout roleplay character may not be "Nuka-Cola Crafter"
** may not invent "Nuka Turbo" to speed up myself
*** May not have a perk to prevent tooth decay that doubles as being able to use my teeth as a lethal weapon in combat
**** May not have somehow acquired rad resistance from constantly drinking nuka cola.
***** May not somehow get rich from being somehow able to make new bottlecaps, thus contributing to the wasteland economy
****** chem perks are meant for things like psycho and buffout, not drinking soda.
* Luck 10 is not an excuse to make bullets ricochet until they hit the target anyway
** cannot say random things and roll to see if those were luckily the right thing to say or not
*** may not roll to randomly find a plot important item in the first thing I look in
**** may not have a perk to make deus ex machinas save me from things.
***** or become Mr. Magoo or other person who causes chains of reactions while unaware of doing so
****** may not just randomly find riches and power armor I can use out of nowhere
* May not question why things like Fallout, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure or Borderlands have not been at least homebrewed for DtD yet, they're strange and funny enough to be included.
* May not question why Fallout doesn't have playable psychic powers yet through mutation, its seems like the exact nonsense that would go for a mix of pulp cheeriness and modern downsides to them existing.
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2021-05-24, 07:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game
Last edited by Lord Torath; 2021-05-24 at 08:07 PM.
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season