Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[danielxcutter]

Counterpoint: there are probably at least half a dozen systems where that actually makes sense.

[Lord Raziere]

My origin story can't be "human injected with Godzilla DNA."

* Or "transgender girl intentionally activated a weapon to turn herself into a female mini-gamera person"
** she may not be called "Glamera"
*** Her turtle form may not as a consequence be a glamorous purple-pink-blue thing full of pretty crystals
**** nor may she be a Transformed in a Masks the Generation game who doesn't regret her transformation.

[danielxcutter]

Is this a specific reference, and if so context plz :p

[Lord Raziere]

Is this a specific reference, and if so context plz :p

Gamera is a japanese kaiju, of a similar popularity and status as godzilla at least in Japan, but is a turtle, good-hearted and friend to all children unlike godzilla who is more anti-heroic and fire plasma breath from his mouth.

[danielxcutter]

Gamera is a japanese kaiju, of a similar popularity and status as godzilla at least in Japan, but is a turtle, good-hearted and friend to all children unlike godzilla who is more anti-heroic and fire plasma breath from his mouth.

I meant the other stuff like the trans girl with crystals.

[Lord Raziere]

I meant the other stuff like the trans girl with crystals.

Oh that isn't a reference, thats just my character for a Masks game. at first I was aiming for a mothra-like form but a name generator gave me "Glamera" and just had to use it.

* May not make a Sidereal Chosen of Secrets who just goes around acting like a mysterious mentor to everybody with cryptic advice hinting at greater destinies for them without any intention of following through
** My Chosen of Journeys may not have a flaw that gives them a bad sense of direction on the level of Ryoga Hibiki or Zorro.
*** my Chosen of Battles may not insist on people solving things with duels
**** my Chosen of Serenity may not be romance fan fic writer that can be make her pairings true
***** My chosen of Secrets may not accidentally reveal secrets to people because she is a blabbermouth or reveal that the Exalted 3e Sidereals kickstarter comes out on the 22nd
****** There is always an ending sure, but my Chosen of Endings may not state it at the end of every meal or every step.

[Telok]

My origin story can't be "human injected with Godzilla DNA."

Seems fine to me... having a problem thinking of games (with the appropriate kaiju being potentially present) where it would be inappropriate... and I just though of one but it's a Pride & Prejudice knockoff so... nope, that one's good to go, you're just a delusional weirdo.

Game on!

Thread tax:
May not blackmail the DM into playing a legitimate decent caring hero in the next game I run by pumping all my magic-user character's gold into upgrades for the fighter, keeping my casting to the less powerful spells, and not over optimizing the common fighter skill checks on my spellcaster so they actually work more than half the time like they do for the fighter.

[Anonymouswizard]

Seems fine to me... having a problem thinking of games (with the appropriate kaiju being potentially present) where it would be inappropriate... and I just though of one but it's a Pride & Prejudice knockoff so... nope, that one's good to go, you're just a delusional weirdo.

Hunter: the Vigil springs to mind (even the Cheiron Group will just try grafting the bits on). Also probably some of the lower magic lower tech fantasy games, I'd need to double check their bestiaries and I left them at home.

But any game intended for superheroic or mythic power levels can probably handle it. Even some lower powered games wouldn't blink an eye at it, I can certainly imagine the less ethical portions of the Technocracy and SoE performing such experiments. It really depends on how much of the powers you want, and if you want an actual Kaiju form.

[danielxcutter]

Looks like I wasn't the only one thinking of the 'Crats, heh. Given that some examples I've seen of their combat constructs are stuff like clones of historical legends like the Paris one with Legendary Firearms, or the Achilles clone with Legendary for all his physical stats, a bunch of linear sorcerer rotes which jack up his combat capabilities even further, and enhancements that run the gamut from "I am the reincarnation of a demigod" to "I am a cutting-edge Technocratic WMD" to "I have werewolf or other supernatural grafts" to "Fite Gud" and an entire Construct dedicated to supporting him, or the clone of one of the Inner Circle members who uses her vampire-derived biology as enhancements, part of her paradigm, and Blatancy.

Actually I can see stuff like that be justification for a Deviant in the nWoD, both the Godzilla stuff and the TU-esque combat construct things. Heck, they even share the word Progenitor, and a lot of oWoD Progenitors probably act like nWoD Progenitors.

[Telok]

. Also probably some of the lower magic lower tech fantasy games, I'd need to double check their bestiaries and I left them at home.

But any game intended for superheroic or mythic power levels can probably handle it. Even some lower powered games wouldn't blink an eye at it,

Honestly, once you're at "delusional weirdo thinks he's a Frankenstein's monster knockoff created with the vital essence of a giant fire breathing lizard" you can do it in basically any decently half functional rpg. The game managing to fit big G style kaiju in is just bonus points after that.

[Bohandas]

*The setting of Exalted is not to be described as "Weeaboo Rome"

[Lord Raziere]

Exalted:
* May not refer to Yu-shan as "Los Angeles"
** the Division of Endings while having a bunch of weird nerdy obsessions do not play Warhammer 40,000 with jade miniatures
*** while they do play cards, they do not play magic the gathering, yu-gi-oh or pokemon tcg
**** despite appearances across three editions, ambrosia are not chocolate coins
***** Yu-shan work culture may not be described as "a bunch of gods and sidereals with bloodshot eyes holding a gun to the concept of work and threatening to shoot it any time while they party, do drugs, debate and do whatever they can to relax"
****** Abyssals, Getimians, Infernals, all enemies of the Sidereals are some of the few people who can remember them but this does not automatically make them romance material
******* yes Yu-shan has a train to transport people now. yes there are robberies on that train. still may not make a Sidereal cowgirl with flame pieces who rides it hoping they get to fight them, or a Getimian cowgirl who intends to pull off a great ambrosia robbery from it.
******** May not make a mortal who lives in Heaven whose entire thing is to realize there are 100 Exalted humans who get to live wealthy lives while all the others humans in Yu-shan have to eke out a living wherever they can....repeatedly, every time they remember Sidereals exist filling them with the same rage all over again before they inevitably forget.

[Anonymouswizard]

* The Games of Divinity do not feature loot boxes.

[Bohandas]

*Deep Thought from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy did not simply leave off a zero

[danielxcutter]

* The Games of Divinity do not feature loot boxes.

Well that might explain why the Unconquered Tsun Sun is so addicted to it... it's literally divine gacha.

[Bohandas]

*The sonic screwdriver is not to be referred to as a "sufficiently-advanced wand"

[Spore]

*The setting of Exalted is not to be described as "Weeaboo Rome"

Why would you say something so controversial, yet so true?

* D&D despite often played on top of a table does NOT carry the spirit of tabletop wargames.
** I am not to plan to ambush my future party with 80% lethal battle plans and saying "this is what duergar would do."
*** Their racial spells are invisibility and enlarge person, but having them clobber the party with 6 foot long "shortswords" for sneak attacks is more akin to a bloody massacre than a subtle ambush.
**** If they SOMEHOW survive, I am NOT having a draconic sorcerer casting Fireball and several salamander attack them directly after that to "teach them about elemental resistances".
***** This is a roleplaying game, not a roguelike. Even if you thought "roguelike" stems from the inherent property of rogues dying very quickly from stupid actions.

[danielxcutter]

*While memes about Hollow Ones being edgy goths are funny, this is only the case the first hundred times.
**No, I am not allowed to actually play an edgy goth Hollow One.

[Lord Raziere]

* Emphatic Denial: Alchemical Exalted speaking like HK-47 is not a sign that they've succumbed to Gremlin Syndrome
** Reasonable Admission: Alchemicals referring to mortals as "meatbag" however may be.
*** Extrapolation: One can even make the argument that an Alchemical speaking like this is a sign of heightening Clarity due to human warmth being replaced with efficient labels for emotional states instead of expressing them

* The Games of Divinity's gacha is not a bunch of Exalts
** Dragon-Blooded are not the common gacha
*** Exigents are not the uncommons
**** Lunars aren't the rares
***** Solars aren't the super rares
****** Sidereals are not the Ultra Rares
******* Lytek is not the person who makes these Exalted gacha and he is not busy making Liminal, Getimian, Abyssal and Infernal ones

* Getimians are not the only ones who can see or know the Dream-Souled, Hearteaters or Umbrals
** Just because they're Apocryphal doesn't mean the Getimians know what they are
*** Or that Getimians come from people who would otherwise Exalt as those Exalted types
**** Apocryphal Exalts do not have something similar to arcane fate upon them like Sidereals making sure they don't have an impact on the setting because everyone forgets them

* Chosen of Journeys are not banana flavored
** Serenities are not blueberry flavored
*** Battles are not strawberry flavored
**** Secrets are not green apple flavored
***** Endings are not grape flavored
****** There is no such thing as Sidereal Soda in Yu-shan.

[Rockphed]

****** There is no such thing as Sidereal Soda in Yu-shan.

******* You cannot create it as an extra trap for young Sidereals to waste their salaries upon.

* While holidays should be fun, I should use someone other than my drunk uncle Phil as a basis for what to do on them.
** Yes, sometimes holidays involve bringing outside things inside, but I cannot have a Pelor-day compost pile in the kitchen.
*** Yes, sometimes holidays take inside things outside, but I cannot have Vecna-day involve stringing plates from the exterior of everyone's homes.
**** Thorsday Thursday does not involve giant bunnies eating trees.

[noob]

******* You cannot create it as an extra trap for young Sidereals to waste their salaries upon.

Is it a trap if the soda tastes good?

[Rater202]

*If I am not a Noise Marine, I am not allowed to have a Dubstep Gun.

[TeChameleon]

* If we treat an encounter as a minor nuisance and chat about our strategy for a while, the DM is fully within their rights to just have them shoot us.
** The fact that this accomplished nothing doesn't prove anything.

* The correct response to "Surrender and your life will be spared" is shooting them in the face, but gloating about it is considered poor form.

* Not allowed to speculate as to exactly what was going through the enemy mook's mind when my monk casually backhanded fully half the encounter out of existence, flew over to him, and whiffed so hard that my monk broke his own arm. And then kicked him so hard in the chest that the mook's lungs were ejected over the side of the airship. (critical fail and critical success on subsequent attacks)
** Not out loud, anyways.

* If our slightly sociopathic rogue comments that he feels sorry for the attacking pirates because they got my monk's attention, my monk may be a bit on the violent side.

* Not allowed to complain when my character requests maps as a quest reward (backstory reasons) and is given an overpowered magic item instead.

[Bohandas]

*The lyrics to the song Santa Claus Is Coming to Town do not contain the line "his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh"
**nor does it have any lyrics in common with the song Electric Eye by Judas Priest

*The Kingdom of Make-Believe from Mr.Rogers' Neighborhood was not destroyed by the band Imagine Dragons

[Spore]

*The lyrics to the song Santa Claus Is Coming to Town do not contain the line "his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh"
**nor does it have any lyrics in common with the song Electric Eye by Judas Priest

*The Kingdom of Make-Believe from Mr.Rogers' Neighborhood was not destroyed by the band Imagine Dragons

*Santa-struck is not sung by AC/DC.

[TeChameleon]

* The compliment "you have the soul of a poet" should not involve the spell Magic Jar

* Calling yourself a Warrior Poet is not an excuse to stab people who give your poems bad reviews
** If you insist on reciting awful poetry in-character as a bard, people stabbing you will be the bad reviews

* The Bard school equivalent to Hogwarts is not called Porksyphilis

And it's looking like it's coming up on time to name the next thread! Only suggestion I've got off the top of my head, though, is

"The DM is not your Therapist"

[dspeyer]

From today's session:

* When my DM says "If you drive me to drink before one die is rolled..." and trails off, my response should not be to rapidly open my dice-bag and roll the first one I grab.

Hmm... "I may not drive my DM to drink" is a possible thread title, but I think I like "The DM is not your Therapist" better

[Rockphed]

* The compliment "you have the soul of a poet" should not involve the spell Magic Jar

* Calling yourself a Warrior Poet is not an excuse to stab people who give your poems bad reviews
** If you insist on reciting awful poetry in-character as a bard, people stabbing you will be the bad reviews

* The Bard school equivalent to Hogwarts is not called Porksyphilis

And it's looking like it's coming up on time to name the next thread! Only suggestion I've got off the top of my head, though, is

"The DM is not your Therapist"

I have a friend from high school whose husband just got his degree in therapy. He uses D&D in his therapy sessions. I do not know details.

I think "Straitjacket Not Included" is a viable thread title.
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Tell Me More About Giant Bunnies"
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Invasion of Captain Literally"
"Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XIV: Quenching the Fire Eternal"

I think all of those will meet the board requirements for title length without issue. I know that the current thread's title is exactly the correct number of characters to fit (and 4 characters too long to show up properly in each reply). Looks like 81 characters is the max.

* Snails make poor mounts.
* Even if I hand-wave the metabolic and physical requirements for a 3-ton flying squirrel to work, they still make bad mounts.
** Making it half dragon does not make it better.

[Bohandas]

*May not suggest that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Ozwoukd be completely invincibke if he was stuffed with asbestos

[Telok]

*May not suggest that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Ozwoukd be completely invincibke if he was stuffed with asbestos

* No more "everyone else in the party save vs cancer" PCs was mentioned years ago.

** Still not allowed plutonium dragons in my world building.
*** The uranium dragon is just as bad.
**** Time elementals are right out because nobody likes "save vs turning into disassociated gametes" on every hit.