Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may never quote Gilbert & Sullivan jokes.
** What, never?
*** No, never!
**** What, never?
***** Hardly ever.

Love levels all ranks.
(brilliant post)
* I may no longer role play a bard (female, human) enduring that difficult time of the month by

Spoiler: Joke in horribly bad taste - you have been warned

Show

having her sing "A Wand'ring Menstruel, I" (song parody from Mkiado, and no, I will not post the lyrics - this was back in AD&D days)

[Laughing Dog]

*I may not name my character Genocide.
**That character should not live up to said name.
***... Especially not repeatedly.
****If said character encounters (what is effectively) an opposite alignment clone, said character probably shouldn't be the better person.

[danielxcutter]

*I may not name my character Genocide.
**That character should not live up to said name.
***... Especially not repeatedly.
****If said character encounters (what is effectively) an opposite alignment clone, said character probably shouldn't be the better person.

*Familicide is also out.

[Wookieetank]

*Familicide is also out.

**Deicide, while admirably ambitious, is also not recommended.

[TeChameleon]

**Deicide, while admirably ambitious, is also not recommended.

* If my character has reached power levels where accidental deicide is on the table, it is time to retire that character.
** godslaying with Magic Missile is just showing off.

Reread John Ford's _How Much For Just The Planet?_ and reconsider certain poor life choices.

(Star Trek Gilbert & Sullivan. IN SPACE!)

Great book, one of all-time favourite Trek books. "Plan C" indeed

[danielxcutter]

* If my character has reached power levels where accidental deicide is on the table, it is time to retire that character.
** godslaying with Magic Missile is just showing off.

I know this is a joke, but isn't Magic Missile one of the better options for that anyways? There's approximately one god who's immune to force damage and I'm sure there are ways to get around the other defenses.

[noob]

I know this is a joke, but isn't Magic Missile one of the better options for that anyways? There's approximately one god who's immune to force damage and I'm sure there are ways to get around the other defenses.

Shield automatically stops magic missile and a god can probably get it as an instantaneous effect with alter reality or some other silly broken shenanigans(then you stop their shenanigans with your even more broken shenanigans).

[Wookieetank]

Shield automatically stops magic missile and a god can probably get it as an instantaneous effect with alter reality or some other silly broken shenanigans(then you stop their shenanigans with your even more broken shenanigans).

*May not use a god's own powerset to take them out
**Using this as an argument that I'm better suited as said god is allowed, grudgingly

[thorr-kan]

Great book, one of all-time favourite Trek books. "Plan C" indeed

Only Star Trek book I was ever able to do a school book report on.

If I'd been aware of Gilbert & Sullivan, and if I'd been aware of the connection, that book report would probably have passed me for English class for all of high school. As is, I'll settle for the grade, and the teacher's admission that some properties can sometimes transition successfully to some other media.

[Rater202]

*I cannot market an experimental super-soldier serum as a cure for acne.
**Even if it does, in fact, cure acne as a side effect.
***I cannot list every other effect of the serum on the packaging as a potential side-effect.
****Even if I include the other potential side effects.
*****Stating that anyone who uses the product agrees to be monitored, kidnapped, and subjected to a host of extremely invasive tests up to and including vivisection on the package is not a legally binding contract.
****** "It wasn't even fine print" is not a defense that will hold up in court.
*******I need to actually hire test subjects with informed consent, reasonable tests, and adequate monetary compensation.

[danielxcutter]

*I cannot market an experimental super-soldier serum as a cure for acne.
**Even if it does, in fact, cure acne as a side effect.
***I cannot list every other effect of the serum on the packaging as a potential side-effect.
****Even if I include the other potential side effects.
*****Stating that anyone who uses the product agrees to be monitored, kidnapped, and subjected to a host of extremely invasive tests up to and including vivisection on the package is not a legally binding contract.
****** "It wasn't even fine print" is not a defense that will hold up in court.
*******I need to actually hire test subjects with informed consent, reasonable tests, and adequate monetary compensation.

I assume that would be illegal anyways IRL? Also, if you advertise it as super soldier serum you'd probably have loads of volunteers.

[JAL_1138]

*May not give a housecat a fitted bulletproof vest with pouches to carry my spare mags and a first aid kit.
**Even if the GM’s response is the “I’ll allow it” gif.
***It’s still a housecat; it’s going to bolt as soon as anybody starts shooting, and then I won’t have my spare ammo or first-aid kit.
****I can’t afford the point cost to make it trained, obedient, and brave enough to stay nearby in combat.

[Rater202]

I can't play as a house cat and be another PCs familiar or animal companion.

[Wookieetank]

*May not give a housecat a fitted bulletproof vest with pouches to carry my spare mags and a first aid kit.
**Even if the GM’s response is the “I’ll allow it” gif.
***It’s still a housecat; it’s going to bolt as soon as anybody starts shooting, and then I won’t have my spare ammo or first-aid kit.
****I can’t afford the point cost to make it trained, obedient, and brave enough to stay nearby in combat.

*****May not use Tiger King as justification for any of the Big Cats to be a housecat.

[Anonymouswizard]

I can't play as a house cat and be another PCs familiar or animal companion.

** I can't play a housecat without being another PC's familiar or animal companion.
*** I can't suggest that the entire party plays housecats.
**** Even if I can provide a game for just that.

[noob]

** I can't play a housecat without being another PC's familiar or animal companion.
*** I can't suggest that the entire party plays housecats.
**** Even if I can provide a game for just that.

**** May not say "It is stronger than an all guardsmen party"
***** I may not have an housecat bbeg.
****** Especially if most of the players could not even see the housecat.

[JAL_1138]

*A fifteen-pound orange tabby is not a Miniature Giant Space Tiger.
**Step away from the tinker gnomes.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer summon a Saber Toothed tiger (to try and emulate this Christina Wayborn poster from the 1970's) as a part of my bard's on stage act.
** Even if it went over very well at the time
*** and got me three "contacts" for successful "carousing" with drunk, jaded, and horny nobles.

[thorr-kan]

I assume that would be illegal anyways IRL? Also, if you advertise it as super soldier serum you'd probably have loads of volunteers.

*May not introduce a super-soldier serum to the Marvel Universe that is both safe and effective, as long as certain physiological and psychological requirements are met.

[Lord Raziere]

*May not introduce a super-soldier serum to the Marvel Universe that is both safe and effective, as long as certain physiological and psychological requirements are met.

** May not respond to this with "So Captain America's serum? Its just that all the other serums are trying to replicate that one and they all fail for some reason."
*** May not theorize that the serums are just gateways for spirits to enter into peoples body and Steve got lucky that the Spirit of America itself managed to get into him in time, and that all the other serums work, they just keep letting in bad spirits.

[Lord Torath]

** I can't play a housecat without being another PC's familiar or animal companion.
*** I can't suggest that the entire party plays housecats.
**** Even if I can provide a game for just that.

***** Advanced Dungeons and Kittens is right out!

[vasilidor]

Erksine kept the secret of his success until he died.
*may not time travel in order to steal Erskine's knowledge using telepathy in a Marvel game.

[Anonymouswizard]

***** Advanced Dungeons and Kittens is right out!

I was thinking a bit more The Secrets of Cats museums.

[thorr-kan]

** May not respond to this with "So Captain America's serum? Its just that all the other serums are trying to replicate that one and they all fail for some reason."

Isn't that the standard Marvel canon?

My guy isn't trying to recreate Project Rebirth; he's trying to stay out of jail, get rich, and help people, in that order. An ethical robber-baron, if you will.

Spoiler: Security transcript of a conversation between Sean Ross Fairchild, CEO, Fairchild Munitions, and Col. Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD.

Show

Sean Ross Fairchild (SRF): "Look, Director Fury, you're asking the impossible. Project Rebirth created the super-soldier serum. It makes the recipient an Olympic-level athlete, significantly retards the aging process, bolsters sanity, and was the creation of a wartime operation whose budget rivaled the Manhattan Project. When the government is willing to throw freighters' worth of money and manpower at a problem, you get miracles.

"Me, I have a company to run and keep profitable. I can't deliver the impossible."

Col. Fury (CF): "Then we're done here."

SRF: "I didn't say that. I said can't deliver the impossible; I can't deliver Captain America in a vial."

<REDACTED>

CF: "So how did you develop this little cocktail? I've seen your file, Fairchild. Your a technician, a hardware specialist. In short, a tinkerer.

"You have no history of biological or chemical developement, nor does your company. Frankly, sudden breadth of knowledge in unrelated fields make SHIELD very, very nervous. You wouldn't like us when we're nervous."

SRF: "I'm not, but my roomate from college *is* a biochemical genius."

CF: "Mario Perez. Empire State Univesitry honors graduate. Masters' Degrees in biochemisty and psychology. Doctorate in Medicine. No New York State medical license."

SRF: "And no head for business. Though to his credit, he *knows* he doesn't, and I do. His consulting business was failing, the sharks were circling, and he'd finally made his breakthrough. But he didn't want the sharks to have his life's work."

CF: "So you helped him of the goodness of your heart?"

SRF: "Of course! He's an old friend. And I smelled an opportunity."

<REDACTED>

CF: "You seem awful sure of yourself, Fairchild."

SRF: "I warn you, Director, Project Uplift is *mine.* We own the patents; we own the trademarks. I start seeing knock-off super-soldiers running around, and I'll have you before a grand jury so fast, your head will spin. And we'll sue so hard for breach of contract, it will beggar God himself.

"But I'd be happy to license the process to SHIELD! It's fiendishly expensive; no one is going to be mass-producing Captain Americas. Except for nation-states or similar entities, you'd go bankrupt trying. But some of the spin-off technologies have huge commercial potential..."

CF: <yelling> "YOU'VE GONE TO HUMAN TRIALS?!"

SRF: "We have the best computer modeling on the planet, barring alien technologies. We ran simulations until they were perfect, then broke everything we could think of and ran simulations again until they were perfect. Then we ran through animal testing until refinement was complete. Only then did we go to human trials.

"Our test subjects were all volunteers, fully informed consent. Our NDAs are ironclad, but we briefed them completely. Every one passed a rigorous psychological and physiological testing regimen to ensure they met Project criteria and were baseline humans. My company doesn't need to press of experimenting on a discriminated minority like mutants, nor are we interested in starting a war with one of the other, sovereign offshoots of humanity.

<laughter> "I'm a modern-day robber-baron, Fury. But I'm not the Red Skull. That's why Stark, Worthington, and Cosmos Securities do business with me and the Hellfire Club set hates my guts."

CF: "I'll need to consider this offer, Chairman."

SRF: "Director, it will be a pleasure doing business with you. The science is solid, the paperwork is in order, and the effects are well documented. Let me walk you out."

CF: "I can find my own way out."

SRF: <more laughter> "I can introduce you to my security team, who've been subjects of Project Uplift for a year now. They're right here where we can help if there's a problem, and if they decide to retire or resign, we'll work them through the detox process. It's admittedly painful, but does no long term harm and leaves you right where you were before taking part in Project Uplift."

*** May not theorize that the serums are just gateways for spirits to enter into peoples body and Steve got lucky that the Spirit of America itself managed to get into him in time, and that all the other serums work, they just keep letting in bad spirits.

Oh, that's a brilliant campaign twist. I'd totally play there.

[Rater202]

*I cannot give Commander Shepard a transfusion of Captain America's blood just to see what the Super Soldier Serum does to their heavily modded physicology.

[Anonymouswizard]

*I cannot give Commander Shepard a transfusion of Captain America's blood just to see what the Super Soldier Serum does to their heavily modded physicology.

Heavily modified? Maybe moderately so.

* Cannotinsist that a character technologically brought back from the dead is 'still 98% humans'.

* I cannot give Krogan Conjoiner implants.

[Rater202]

Heavily modified? Maybe moderately so.

Okay, to start with, as a member of th eSystems Aliance Space MArines, Shepard is by default gene-modded to better able handle higher and lower gravity, which also makes them more fit.

They may to ay not be naturally biotic, inwhich case they have cybernetic implants to let them use their biotic abilities.

Then they died and were brought back to life a mixture of cybernetics, chemical treatments, and further gene mods. The procedure also presumably involved exposing and mutating Shepard's body with Ezo, because Shepard gains biotic powers if they did not have them and they become noticeably stranger if they did.

We can assume that there was some extensive work done to put them back together, because it is heavily implied that Shepard's head was not attached to their body when it was recovered, and also because Shepard was spaced, asphyxiated, and then underwent pantry reentry through an atmosphere that would be corrosive to human flesh. I would be genuinely surprised if less than 30% of their body had been replaced by either bionics or cloned tissues.

At the beginning of the game, Shepard's surgical scars freaking glow indicating extensive work under the surface.

considering that Shepard can headbutt a Krogan hard enough to knock them down and drink multiple glasses of something guaranteed to knock most humans off their ass and chance it with liquor made specifically for Krogan and something else even stronger than that and only blackout and wake up a few minutes later on the bathroom floor of the establishment... You know, instead of fricking dying, it can assume that bones and organs have been enhanced or reinforced.

All throughout Mass Effect 2 you can research various upgrades which include Upgrades to Shepard's body in the form of additional cybernetics which include a set of ultradurable fibers that double as medical channels enhancing the durability and regenerative functionality of Shepard's skin, muscles, and skeleton(reinforcing, not replacing, at least in the case of things that haven't already been replaced.) and three additional Bioampsthat each have specialized functions to support Shepard's primary bio amp, resulting in stronger Biotic abilities.

In addition, some of the stat boosts yo get from scanning things in various places are implied to be the result of data from the scan being used to make upgrades such as a biotic power upgrade gained from scanning a machine used by Cerberus when trying to train and enhance Jack.

In the Overlord DLC, even if you have no Cybernetic upgrades or bioamp implants, Shepard is technological enough that they can be affected by a thing designed to hack AIs and VIs.

In ME3, the Synthesis ending is possible because Shepard is considered a perfect mxiture of organic and sythnetic life and because their cybernetic mods are compatible with Reaper tech... And considering that it's know that multiple factns got their hands of chunks of Soverighn, it's entirely possible that the cybernetic components of the procedure to resurrect them is Reaper derived, indicating the possibility of nanomachines, biomechanical enhancements, and techno-organics.

I mean, we know that Cerberus has access to Reaper Tech, EDI is based in part on Sovereign.

Shepard is modded all to hell.

[Lord Raziere]

*I cannot give Commander Shepard a transfusion of Captain America's blood just to see what the Super Soldier Serum does to their heavily modded physicology.

** May not insist that all it will do is let in the Spirit of Paragon Spectres to empower Shepard to be the most moral and inspiring Spectre there ever was.

* May not mix Legendary Super Saiyan, The Incredible Hulk, Asura's Mantra Drive, a Khornate Berserker, Doomguy and a Red Lantern ring together to see what happens.

[Anonymouswizard]

* There is no justification for my blind elven Loremaster to have a hat more famous than she is.
** Not even if I can scrounge up the points for both Blind and Impressive Hat.

[Socksy]

* It is not a race to 0 Humanity.
** Should probably explain that Wassail isn't as fun as it sounds.