Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[TeChameleon]

Grinding up and snorting the Infinity Stones will kill me, not make me all-powerful.

... wait, what were you using to grind up the Infinity Gems?

[noob]

... wait, what were you using to grind up the Infinity Gems?

Probably an infinity millstone?

[Anonymouswizard]

... wait, what were you using to grind up the Infinity Gems?

Rater likes immortality, he'll likely just wait for them to erode while collecting the dust.


* Being able to create a nuclear missile from a car engine, a length of plastic tubing, and a dead computer is not a valid reason to do so.

[thorr-kan]

... wait, what were you using to grind up the Infinity Gems?

Spoiler: Spoilers for What If?!

Show

Why, the Infinity Grinder, of course!

"The Infinity Crusher, designed to disintegrate each stone into nothing."
―Gamora to the Guardians of the Multiverse[src]

"What If... The Watcher Broke His Oath?", Season 1, Episode 9.

https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fand...finity_Crusher

[Bohandas]

*Turning water into urine is not a miracle

*Alderi Harlequins are not Juggalos
**whoop whoop

[Lord Raziere]

WH40k:
* My Rogue Trader's goal may not be to search for "El Dorantlis: the lost planet of gold"
** she may not be made a rogue trader because she was too successful of a crusader commander
*** when she fails to find El Dorantlis, may not resort to piracy. repeatedly.
**** May not try to sell tech priests on digital currency
***** NFTs and digital currency are not the work of Tzeentch.

[KorvinStarmast]

* When the party returns a long lost egg to a copper dragon, I may no longer suggest that we remember to offer up some bacon and toast as well if we do a similar favor/quest in the future.
(She didn't even say thank you, just grabbed the egg and left the room. And we were the one's who had fought fiends, aberrations and undead to recover the darned thing).

** May no longer point out to the minions that because that egg had been in the possession of fiends, it was now a deviled egg.

[dspeyer]

* May not use the tarrasque as a ranged weapon
** Nor the sun
*** Chaining the tarrasque to the sun and dropping it from the sky onto our enemies is right out

[Telok]

* May not use the tarrasque as a ranged weapon
** Nor the sun
*** Chaining the tarrasque to the sun and dropping it from the sky onto our enemies is right out

Pfft. Get a bigger game. I've statted up space combat torpedos that use tarrasques as warheads. Fully intend to shoot two or three into the PC's ship at some point and watch the hilarity.

However,

* Not allowed to import TES soulgems into a D&D game to recharge magic items in order to make the magic items actually useful instead of stupid noble bribes.

** Absolutely not allowed the Morrowind magic system in any TTRPG that I'm not running.

[dspeyer]

Pfft. Get a bigger game. I've statted up space combat torpedos that use tarrasques as warheads. Fully intend to shoot two or three into the PC's ship at some point and watch the hilarity.

* The tarrasque is a unique monster: it has no reproductive capability
** No matter how neatly I slice it in half, only one half grows back
*** I may not clone the tarrasque
**** I may not travel across planes *collecting* tarrasques

(Being serious for a moment, I realize different settings are different. I'm just used to speaking of "the" tarrasque, whose release ends the world.)

[Eldan]

* The tarrasque is a unique monster: it has no reproductive capability
** No matter how neatly I slice it in half, only one half grows back
*** I may not clone the tarrasque
**** I may not travel across planes *collecting* tarrasques

(Being serious for a moment, I realize different settings are different. I'm just used to speaking of "the" tarrasque, whose release ends the world.)

There is a canonical Planet of the Tarrasques, which is full of them.

[Anonymouswizard]

There is a canonical Planet of the Tarrasques, which is full of them.

I thought those were peaceful herbivores. Clearly different to the Tarrasque, despite appearances.

[Telok]

I thought those were peaceful herbivores. Clearly different to the Tarrasque, despite appearances.

https://spelljammer.fandom.com/wiki/Falx

Several hundred of them, omnivores, have the carapace & regeneration & stuff in order to withstand the wind. Apparently its like living at the business end of a sandblaster most of the time.

[Bohandas]

*The song "Hammer Smashed Face" by Cannibal Corpse is not a hymn to Thor
**It has a cartain thematic appropriateness, but no

[Rater202]

*I do not have the power to have random tech priests banished to Robot Hell.

[Bohandas]

*Cubone is not "The Norman Bates Pokémon"

*Tom Bombadil is not the spirit of Peppridge Farms
**Do you remember the first raindrop and the first acorn, and a time when quality and care went into baking cookies? Tom Bombadil remembers.

[Notafish]

*I may not build Warhammer Fantasy lore into my D&D character's racial background.
**especially not if it's so that I can add unbalanced encounters and sketchy DM rulings to my character's personal Book of Grudges.
***especially not if I'm playing an elf.

[Anonymouswizard]

* It's Ulthuan, not Elflantis.

[Telok]

* May not dis the tarasque by comparing it to Godzilla without first producing two versions of each from different game systems.

** May not, upon digging up additional game system versions, further double dis the D&D tarasque by noting the other games have rules letting it throw trucks 90 meters or javelin large trees & i-beams a couple hundred.

*** May not triple dis the D&D tarasque by remembering past edition's Ts without looking up the current stats and finding it got downgraded again.

**** May not insult D&D iconic monsters to the point the DM feels the need to homebrew ones that are more than just sacks of hp with damage abilities.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* I'm not allowed to use any more tree monsters.
** Especially if they have the ability to, as a reaction, mimic any spell of 5th level or lower they see cast, but can choose new targets.
*** especially if the wizard opens with his shiny new spell Steel Wind Strike and there are multiple of those trees.

Ok, really, the party found it frightening but fun. Despite that one ability doing more damage to the party than had been done in the previous few fights combined. 2 attacks against each character dealing 6d10 force damage if they hit, using the wizard's high attack bonus.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I am no longer allowed to try and trick a sentient tree into healing a fellow party member.

[danielxcutter]

Implying that said tree wouldn't have done so if you asked nicely?

[PhoenixPhyre]

Implying that said tree wouldn't have done so if you asked nicely?

Same "replicate the spells" trees as I mentioned. He figured (with some reason) that if he cast cure wounds on a downed ally, the tree would mirror it blindly onto that same person. It didn't. It healed itself. Because I'm evil.

[danielxcutter]

Oh now that's just sadistic. :v

[KorvinStarmast]

Oh now that's just sadistic. :v

The tree also had large pointy teeth and bit for substantial damage. It was glorious.

Implying that said tree wouldn't have done so if you asked nicely?

Given that it had already taken a bit of damage from the party, if I had asked it nicely it would probably have just bitten me since I don't recall learning any tree language, and I had a sharp pointy object (dragon shard sword) that I had stuck into it once or twice or and divine-smote at least once.

[Metastachydium]

The tree also had large pointy teeth and bit for substantial damage. It was glorious.

Given that it had already taken a bit of damage from the party, if I had asked it nicely it would probably have just bitten me since I don't recall learning any tree language, and I had a sharp pointy object (dragon shard sword) that I had stuck into it once or twice or and divine-smote at least once.

So, ultimately the morale should be this: be nice to planties, kids, and they probably won't bite your head off only to heal themselves afterwards!

[KorvinStarmast]

So, ultimately the morale should be this: be nice to planties, kids, and they probably won't bite your head off only to heal themselves afterwards!

I thought that planties were underwear for entwives. Did I miss a memo?

[Bohandas]

**** If the GM has to hypothetically contrive it that I'm actually royalty of a completely different plane of existence if they were ever to try it at all, I might be overdoing it a little.

Wasn;t that the premise of the old Super Mario Bros. movie from the 1990's?

[Anonymouswizard]

Wasn;t that the premise of the old Super Mario Bros. movie from the 1990's?

And a decent number of fantasy novels for both kids and adults. Not as common as being royalty of the same plane of existence, but it does happen.

I remember one book where the villain kidnapped the prince of another world and then abandoned him when she discovered she was pregnant.

[Metastachydium]

I thought that planties were underwear for entwives. Did I miss a memo?

[Glares.] Yes you did. It said I HATE YOU!