Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Eldan]

Yeah, I'd be heading to the Deep Shadow, or somewhere like that. I hear there's some pretty nice alternate cosmologies this time of the aeon.

[Lord Torath]

The Eye of Vecna gives the bearer access to a certain amount of Vecna's power, but, in return, opens up the wielder to Vecna's will (potentially). Having Orcus with access to Vecna's power, and Vecna with access to Orcus' head... well, the results would likely be amusing, at least from outside the blast radius.

* I may not seek refuge on Athas because The Black will keep out VecnOrcus.
** Athas should not be better than the rest of the multiverse.

[danielxcutter]

What's Athas again?

[Lord Torath]

What's Athas again?

The planet where the Dark Sun setting is located.

[noob]

* I may not seek refuge on Athas because The Black will keep out VecnOrcus.
** Athas should not be better than the rest of the multiverse.

Athas is a safer place than the forgotten realms because there is not 99999 tons of inconsistent content made by dozens of writers.
Now is it safer than ebherron? No clue.

[danielxcutter]

The planet where the Dark Sun setting is located.

...Okay, what's the Black?

[Lord Raziere]

...Okay, what's the Black?

It is one of the two planes that touch Athas, it is a world of shadow similar to the Shadowfell except populated by halflings trapped there and separates everything that exists from everything that doesn't, underneath this realm lies Rajaat, the sorcerer responsible for a lot of genocide and turning Athas into a desert planet by inventing Defiling magic, imprisoned in absolute nothingness. This fate is completely deserved and no one misses him.

* May not create 13 Orichalcum blades just to have something to use with Ophiochios, the art to wield a bunch of swords with my mind like its unlimited blade works
** May not combine Anima Beyond Fantasy martial arts with Exalted martial arts
*** Godhand is....maybe an excuse to do one punch man stuff but might not be
**** may not try to figure out way for my character to learn more Sidereal Martial Arts without a Sidereal master, while in another universe with no martial artists
***** the Eldar do not know any "Immaterial Martial Arts" nor are they sufficient replacements for Sidereals to learn Sidereal Martial Arts
****** Not even if they are just as manipulative, future-seeing, secretive and ninja-like as Sidereals.

* may not make a sword to cut love, make cuts empowered by love, or manipulate love in any way.
** Especially when I have charms inspired by Adorjan

[Lord Torath]

Athas is a safer place than the forgotten realms because there is not 99999 tons of inconsistent content made by dozens of writers.
Now is it safer than ebherron? No clue.

* May not point out that Dark Sun has had contradictory information since the publication of the third module, Arcane Shadows, and it only got worse with the release of the "Expanded and Revised Dark Sun Setting", let alone the publication of the "Tribe of One" and "Prism Pentad" series of novels. And that was just during 2E AD&D.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not point out that Dark Sun has had contradictory information since the publication of the third module, Arcane Shadows, and it only got worse with the release of the "Expanded and Revised Dark Sun Setting", let alone the publication of the "Tribe of One" and "Prism Pentad" series of novels. And that was just during 2E AD&D.

** May not point out that whatever inconsistencies Dark Sun has, FR being the main world probably has worse ones because of sheer amount of more things published for it.
*** Or point out that Forgotten Realms IS technically more dangerous as a world that constantly experiences new cataclysms and changes the magic system all over again is in some ways less stable than Athas, which while a very bleak post-apocalyptic world, knows what dangers it has and how to deal with them
**** or that none of the sorcerer kings are as dangerous as an FR god, as they are statted at lower levels and are much more killable than some reality-warping deity that you can't realistically do anything about.

[danielxcutter]

It is one of the two planes that touch Athas, it is a world of shadow similar to the Shadowfell except populated by halflings trapped there and separates everything that exists from everything that doesn't, underneath this realm lies Rajaat, the sorcerer responsible for a lot of genocide and turning Athas into a desert planet by inventing Defiling magic, imprisoned in absolute nothingness. This fate is completely deserved and no one misses him.

* May not create 13 Orichalcum blades just to have something to use with Ophiochios, the art to wield a bunch of swords with my mind like its unlimited blade works
** May not combine Anima Beyond Fantasy martial arts with Exalted martial arts
*** Godhand is....maybe an excuse to do one punch man stuff but might not be
**** may not try to figure out way for my character to learn more Sidereal Martial Arts without a Sidereal master, while in another universe with no martial artists
***** the Eldar do not know any "Immaterial Martial Arts" nor are they sufficient replacements for Sidereals to learn Sidereal Martial Arts
****** Not even if they are just as manipulative, future-seeing, secretive and ninja-like as Sidereals.

* may not make a sword to cut love, make cuts empowered by love, or manipulate love in any way.
** Especially when I have charms inspired by Adorjan

Oh huh. Where’s that Dark Sun lore from?

[Lord Torath]

Spoiler: Off Topic Dark Sun discussion

Show

Oh huh. Where’s that Dark Sun lore from?

The lore about the Black and Rajaat and Co?

Rajaat was introduced in the [urlk=https://www.goodreads.com/series/41960-dark-sun-prism-pentad]Prism Pentad[/url], five novels by Troy Denning in which the mostly-unlikeable protagonists kill a fair number of the major threats of the region.

I think the Black was introduced in the Expanded and Revised Dark Sun Setting as a way of limiting travel to/from Athas via plane shifting (Planescape had recently been introduced), but I really don't know for certain. It might have been in the Black Spine adventure. They introduced The Gray at the same time, which, I think is where souls go, since the regular outer planes are more-or-less off limits.

My preference is to ignore the Expanded and Revised setting and everything that was published after that. Let a PC Avangion be the first one. Let the PCs take down the Big Bads of the setting, and keep the NPCs where they belong - in the pack ground or as antagonists, not protagonists.

[Lord Raziere]

Oh huh. Where’s that Dark Sun lore from?

Defilers and Preservers: The Wizards of Athas. 1996. according to the wiki I got this from. so, pretty early fluff.

* My character's goal may not be go around collecting cool WH40k weapons in the absence of anything better to do.
** Nor they may their goal may be expanded to go around finding ridiculous old 40k tech
*** mostly because they are invariably some variation of old superweapon that causes a lot of destruction or suffering
**** May not dual-wield Eldar pistols that fire black holes at people like I'm a wild west gunslinger.

[Lord Raziere]

* my next superhero character may not be a literal fashion police
** My supervillain may not a grey spreading drab suit-wearer
*** May not tie up criminals with a gun that shoots sewing needles and string
**** or sticky paint that acts like glue to restrain them.
***** or a gun to make them "too fashionable to do crime anymore"

[danielxcutter]

* my next superhero character may not be a literal fashion police
** My supervillain may not a grey spreading drab suit-wearer
*** May not tie up criminals with a gun that shoots sewing needles and string
**** or sticky paint that acts like glue to restrain them.
***** or a gun to make them "too fashionable to do crime anymore"

I think there's a literal fashion police FPS video game that's being made, dunno if it's out yet or what. It's called Fashion Police Squad, your targets are fashion criminals that you attack with various weapons like a gun that can shoot or absorb color, and yes, there's a tailor weapon for fixing oversized suits that shoots needles.

[thorr-kan]

I think there's a literal fashion police FPS video game that's being made, dunno if it's out yet or what. It's called Fashion Police Squad, your targets are fashion criminals that you attack with various weapons like a gun that can shoot or absorb color, and yes, there's a tailor weapon for fixing oversized suits that shoots needles.

You know what? If there's not a level where you're going up against Weird Al & Company in his Tacky video, I may lose all faith in humanity.

[danielxcutter]

You know what? If there's not a level where you're going up against Weird Al & Company in his Tacky video, I may lose all faith in humanity.

Eeeehhh, I dunno, it is a fictional setting. Might have a reference in the finished game though.

[Lord Raziere]

I think there's a literal fashion police FPS video game that's being made, dunno if it's out yet or what. It's called Fashion Police Squad, your targets are fashion criminals that you attack with various weapons like a gun that can shoot or absorb color, and yes, there's a tailor weapon for fixing oversized suits that shoots needles.

I know, that was inspired by it. world needs more fun ridiculousness like that. now that I can make that sort of thing myself, too much into edgy things.

* May not attempt to solve things through zombies
** or draining life force from people
*** or summoning demons
**** Look if you didn't want me to be an anti-hero trying to solve things with dark powers why did you give me the option?
***** may not summon an undead or demon army to defend a city from invaders if the city cannot muster enough forces to defend it.

[danielxcutter]

I know, that was inspired by it. world needs more fun ridiculousness like that. now that I can make that sort of thing myself, too much into edgy things.

* May not attempt to solve things through zombies
** or draining life force from people
*** or summoning demons
**** Look if you didn't want me to be an anti-hero trying to solve things with dark powers why did you give me the option?
***** may not summon an undead or demon army to defend a city from invaders if the city cannot muster enough forces to defend it.

Ah. Did think it was too close to be coincidence.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* Not allowed to make veiled tech puns (cats sending messages via the Feline Talking Protocol, aka eeek-mail[1]).
** Because my players don't get them.

[1] because that's what people say when they find dead rat corpses around. Cats send long-distance messages by killing small animals and embedding the message into the soul of the animal before sending it onward to appear in the person's dream to deliver the message. Sort of a macabre combination of animal messenger and dream, but fatal for the messenger. The corpse shows up in front of the receiver after the dream. So when your cat delivers you a dead animal corpse, it means he got a message from another cat and now has to go take care of some business. Which mostly looks like him sleeping, but that's because he's actually prowling the Between for stray souls.

[Bohandas]

*May not cut spice melange with Tang to increase my profits

[Ortho]

*May not send the two barbarians alone on a mission to subtly steal property deeds.
**May not make their secondary objective intelligence gathering.
***May not make the rendezvous point a tavern or other location with easy access to alcohol.
****May not allow the barbarians to be arrested for killing dozens in an alcohol-induced rage.
*****May not forge the death warrants of said two barbarians once they're subdued and jailed.
******May not subject them to execution by mad scientist experimentation.
*******May not turn one of their heads into your homunculus.

[KorvinStarmast]

*May not cut spice melange with Tang to increase my profits

Best post I have read all morning.

* Not allowed to make veiled tech puns (cats sending messages via the Feline Talking Protocol, aka eeek-mail[1]).
** Because my players don't get them.

Or they just sat there, shaking their head, and said nothing because it was such a groaner.

Spoiler: And not the groaning pain is inflicted upon a wider audience

Show

[1] because that's what people say when they find dead rat corpses around. Cats send long-distance messages by killing small animals and embedding the message into the soul of the animal before sending it onward to appear in the person's dream to deliver the message. Sort of a macabre combination of animal messenger and dream, but fatal for the messenger. The corpse shows up in front of the receiver after the dream. So when your cat delivers you a dead animal corpse, it means he got a message from another cat and now has to go take care of some business. Which mostly looks like him sleeping, but that's because he's actually prowling the Between for stray souls.

prowling the Between for stray souls
* I may not type out all of the double entendres that I can make out of that.

[danielxcutter]

*May not cut spice melange with Tang to increase my profits

Do I want to know what either of these are?

[PhoenixPhyre]

Do I want to know what either of these are?

Spice Melange is from Dune--a byproduct of the sandworm metabolism that produces prescient (aka seeing the future/past) visions in some people and is essential for that universe's space travel. It's also hideously expensive and restricted.

Tang is, well, a quasi-orange powdered drink product notable for being almost, but not really, like orange juice when reconstituted. From our reality.

[danielxcutter]

Does Spice actually taste like spice?

[KorvinStarmast]

Tang is, well, a quasi-orange powdered drink product notable for being almost, but not really, like orange juice when reconstituted. From our reality.

The space travel tie in is that it was used by astronauts.

Spoiler: Tang + space travel + melange spice references

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Tang is an American drink mix brand that was formulated by General Foods Corporation food scientist William A. Mitchell[1] and General Foods Corporation chemist William Bruce James[2] in 1957, and first marketed in powdered form in 1959.[3][4] The Tang brand is currently owned in most countries by Mondelēz International, a 2012 North American company spun off from Kraft Foods. Kraft Heinz owns the Tang brand in North America.

Sales of Tang were poor until NASA used it on John Glenn's Mercury flight in February 1962,[5] and on subsequent Gemini missions.[6] Since then it has been closely associated with the U.S. human spaceflight program, which created the misconception that Tang was invented for the space program.[7][8]

[Bohandas]

Spice Melange is from Dune--a byproduct of the sandworm metabolism that produces prescient (aka seeing the future/past) visions in some people and is essential for that universe's space travel. It's also hideously expensive and restricted.

Tang is, well, a quasi-orange powdered drink product notable for being almost, but not really, like orange juice when reconstituted. From our reality.

And they're both orange colored powders

[Rockphed]

Spice Melange is from Dune--a byproduct of the sandworm metabolism that produces prescient (aka seeing the future/past) visions in some people and is essential for that universe's space travel. It's also hideously expensive and restricted.

Also highly addictive. Also also, it renders its users immune to most poisons. Also also also, it turns users eyes blue.

* Trying to get the PCs to retreat and regroup to move my grand vision of a story along will not work.

[Bohandas]

Does Spice actually taste like spice?

I think the book described it as vaguely similar to cinnamon.

[Rater202]

I cannot use a solution of spice melange in Urkel's transformation chamber to permenantly unlock my prescience at full power.