Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Lord Raziere]

If the ancient "kill all life" evil reawakened, a massive interstellar genocidal war, a nanotech hive mind grey goo scenario, and a demon lord ascending to god-hood by eating 30 star systems billions of inhabitants, are the least dangerous doom clocks going in the campaign...

* My reaction to this may not be a blase "huh, a high level Wh40k game, never thought that was possible without just destroying everything"
** my not suggest that these doom clocks fight each other to try and weaken them to make my job easier
*** May not bring in my godlike Jumper character with old planeswalker powers to fight these things
**** Or my ten thousand year old dragon artificer character
***** my dragonball z cyborg girl character who is completely pragmatic and will take whatever measures to destroy these threats to all life she can
****** May not suggest that the next PCs you recruit are in the superhero to godlike range of power.
******* May not suggest a hyper-hacker to take control of the nanotech hive mind and angel to redeem the evil and demon lord with compassion to team up against the real threats.

[TeChameleon]

* If the party becoming... essentially nomadic Time Lords who can spank gods like naughty puppies, but who can't interact with the Prime Material too much without risking time itself dissolving like cotton candy under Niagara Falls and/or a mystic amnesia plague destroying all civilization is the logical outcome, it's hard to tell whether something has gone wrong or gone right.

* If the party keep causing calamities then running away, having one already happening when they arrive, but that's still their fault because they broke causality, is logical, but maybe a bit mean.

[Telok]

* My reaction to this may not be a blase "huh, a high level Wh40k game, never thought that was possible without just destroying everything"
** my not suggest that these doom clocks fight each other to try and weaken them to make my job easier
*** May not bring in my godlike Jumper character with old planeswalker powers to fight these things
**** Or my ten thousand year old dragon artificer character.

Well its Dungeons th Dragoning 40k 7e sillyness, so not far off. Getting some of the doom clocks to interfere with each other is possible, but they're in different quadrants of the universe and once they're big enough to encounter one another they may be too much for anyone. Yeah, there's 25k year old dragon demi-gods around, one of the lesser dooms is scheduled to eat one of them and the space fleet provided by the others. They'll spend most of the campaign in regrouping & damage control.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not steal an electric guitar weapon from an Ork
** May not learn musical martial arts from it

I mean, stealing a trog rocker's guitar will get you a front row view of some martial arts, musical or otherwise. But you'll probably have better success if you just ask them to teach you..

Of course trog rock is like MESSERKAMPF! on steroids.

* My Shadowrun character concept cannot be 'trog rocker who mistook Mr Johnson for their manager'.
** Modern trog rock does not feature trombones as vital instruments.
*** I'm not allowed to stick a shotgun in any other instrument, and I'm to stop trying.

...actually I can imagine an all-ork brass band. It would be completely amazing, by which I mean 'guaranteed tinnitus'.

[Rockphed]

I mean, stealing a trog rocker's guitar will get you a front row view of some martial arts, musical or otherwise. But you'll probably have better success if you just ask them to teach you..

Of course trog rock is like MESSERKAMPF! on steroids.

* My Shadowrun character concept cannot be 'trog rocker who mistook Mr Johnson for their manager'.
** Modern trog rock does not feature trombones as vital instruments.
*** I'm not allowed to stick a shotgun in any other instrument, and I'm to stop trying.

...actually I can imagine an all-ork brass band. It would be completely amazing, by which I mean 'guaranteed tinnitus'.

Seventy-six trombones led the recent waaahg, with one-hundred-and-twelve coronets right behind...

[Anonymouswizard]

Seventy-six trombones led the recent waaahg, with one-hundred-and-twelve coronets right behind...

I was thinking more 'distract the security guards while you swipe the prototype', but yeah.

* There is no excuse for running a Scion/Shadowrun crossover.

[Spore]

*There is no excuse for running a Scion/Shadowrun crossover.

** A Doctor Who/WH 40k crossover is RIGHT OUT.
*** Even if the Master would make an excellent leader for the Traitor Legions and demons from the Warp.
**** Maybe especially because the Master would ruin the stalemate between Chaos and Order.
***** No, BAD WOLF cannot be the the codename for a chapter of powerful Space Wolf psykers.

[Anonymouswizard]

** A Doctor Who/WH 40k crossover is RIGHT OUT.
*** Even if the Master would make an excellent leader for the Traitor Legions and demons from the Warp.
**** Maybe especially because the Master would ruin the stalemate between Chaos and Order.
***** No, BAD WOLF cannot be the the codename for a chapter of powerful Space Wolf psykers.

Eh, I think The Master is more likely to worm his way into the Administratum or the like, using his Time Lord knowledge to create false STCs and manipulate the Tech Priests. He's really good at abusing order (especially if you assume that The War Chief is an earlier regeneration, which isn't canon but just works).

And don't be silly, Space Wolves don't have psykers. They have Rune Priests

[KorvinStarmast]

* If the party becoming... essentially nomadic Time Lords who can spank gods like naughty puppies, but who can't interact with the Prime Material too much without risking time itself dissolving like cotton candy under Niagara Falls and/or a mystic amnesia plague destroying all civilization is the logical outcome, it's hard to tell whether something has gone wrong or gone right.

* If the party keep causing calamities then running away, having one already happening when they arrive, but that's still their fault because they broke causality, is logical, but maybe a bit mean.

Wait, have you been watching our game that PhoenixPhyre DM's?

[PhoenixPhyre]

Wait, have you been watching our game that PhoenixPhyre DM's?

: Popcorn:

[TeChameleon]

Wait, have you been watching our game that PhoenixPhyre DM's?

I was going to ask 'who's PhoenixPhyre', but they are apparently here with popcorn, so...

The first was something that actually happened in the campaign world that I have been playing in for nearly 20 years, the second was just my weird brain doing its thing.

[Rater202]

If I introduce a demonic catgirl by having her say "Pwease awow me to introwoduce myself..." I will be shot.

[dspeyer]

If I introduce a demonic catgirl by having her say "Pwease awow me to introwoduce myself..." I will be shot.

Rate Two oh Two's a demon cat
He'll introduce himself
He's been around a long, long year
A cat of taste and wealth

[Rater202]

Rate Two oh Two's a demon cat
She'll introduce herself

"Rate Two oh Two" prefers He/Him pronouns.

Singular they is also acceptable.

[dspeyer]

Editted.

I was going off the description of the character as a "catgirl", but lacking the character's name...

[Anonymouswizard]

Editted.

I was going off the description of the character as a "catgirl", but lacking the character's name...

How dare you assume all catgirls fall within your gender binary!

* There should be at least one party member without a crippling drug addiction.

[TeChameleon]

How dare you assume all catgirls fall within your gender binary!

* There should be at least one party member without a crippling drug addiction.

* No, one character being catatonic from withdrawal instead doesn't help.

* 'Mysterious Character dropping from the sky who's actually a past character' becoming a cliche probably means we need to stop finishing one-shots by dropping random PCs out of airships.

[Anonymouswizard]

* No, one character being catatonic from withdrawal instead doesn't help.

Withdrawal? I've seen a Shadowrun character begin with thousands of doses of Novacoke, and take it every ten minutes. Sadly that player left before they suffered the consequences.

When I'm making characters I tend to default to taking one, but that's because it justifies having a supply of a legitimately useful item. A hermetic mage can really benefit from having Psyche on hand.

* 'Mysterious Character dropping from the sky who's actually a past character' becoming a cliche probably means we need to stop finishing one-shots by dropping random PCs out of airships.

** The solution is not to throw the entire party out of the airship.

[KorvinStarmast]

I was going to ask 'who's PhoenixPhyre', but they are apparently here with popcorn, so...

The first was something that actually happened in the campaign world that I have been playing in for nearly 20 years, the second was just my weird brain doing its thing.

The reason I ask is that our party (now level 12) has been going through these weird time bubbles for a lot of the campaign; we end up moving back decades or centuries, and dealing with strange stuff, and it does weird stuff to causality. At one point, I had to ask the DM to sketch out a set of time lines because the bouncing from one to the other time frame was getting very confusing. And if we mess up, we get to sing that song by REM.

* 'Mysterious Character dropping from the sky who's actually a past character' becoming a cliche probably means we need to stop finishing one-shots by dropping random PCs out of airships.

We had a cameo appearance by a lvl 20 PC from our first campaign drop in, accompanied by a cat, two sessions ago. We only knew who he was OOC, but he did what I expected him to do: wield the blade. And then he left, with that cat.

[Spore]

Eh, I think The Master is more likely to worm his way into the Administratum or the like, using his Time Lord knowledge to create false STCs and manipulate the Tech Priests. He's really good at abusing order (especially if you assume that The War Chief is an earlier regeneration, which isn't canon but just works).

With what kind of bull**** torture engines the Imperium pushes out on the regular, I wouldn't put it past them to be manipulated. After all if the the Cybermen I mean Men of Iron were the reason for Mars for one transfiguring all their technological knowledge into religion and thus opening themselves to open manipulation by a technologically superior mind, which in turn feeds the Time Vortex I mean Eye of Terror to open into the Cicatrix Maledictum, that is exactly the kind of Chaos the Master would sow.

[Wookieetank]

** The solution is not to throw the entire party out of the airship.

***Jumping out paratrooper style, is also frowned upon
****Doesn't matter what national anthem you're singing while doing it.

[danielxcutter]

With what kind of bull**** torture engines the Imperium pushes out on the regular, I wouldn't put it past them to be manipulated. After all if the the Cybermen I mean Men of Iron were the reason for Mars for one transfiguring all their technological knowledge into religion and thus opening themselves to open manipulation by a technologically superior mind, which in turn feeds the Time Vortex I mean Eye of Terror to open into the Cicatrix Maledictum, that is exactly the kind of Chaos the Master would sow.

From what I know about the setting, I wouldn't be surprised if the only issue would be his pawns getting executed for actually unrelated reasons.

[Spore]

From what I know about the setting, I wouldn't be surprised if the only issue would be his pawns getting executed for actually unrelated reasons.

A plan going up in smokes because some of your cultists were executed for heresy?

*Exterminatus of Mars is not an option, not even for an Inquisitor.
** Doubly so if they claim to be influenced by some shady humanoid from beyond time and space.
*** The Master cannot be the 5th Chaos God Malice.

[Anonymouswizard]

From what I know about the setting, I wouldn't be surprised if the only issue would be his pawns getting executed for actually unrelated reasons.

Probably for nothing more than a misspelt name.

A plan going up in smokes because some of your cultists were executed for heresy?

*Exterminatus of Mars is not an option, not even for an Inquisitor.
** Doubly so if they claim to be influenced by some shady humanoid from beyond time and space.
*** The Master cannot be the 5th Chaos God Malice.

The amount of malice the Master has varies from incarnation to incarnation, so it doesn't quite fit. Honestly they doesn't really work that well as Chaos-aligned, the chaos they creates is in service of establishing a new Order with themself.

Weirdly, considering Chibnall bastardised the lore, it's technically possible the Doctor is one (they'd represent the ideas of curiosity and restlessness, they're not trying to take over the galaxy because they got bored, wandered off into a new universe, and accidentally trapped themselves in the form of a child). If you're going with this and the Chibnall retcons I'd argue that the Doctor and TARDIS are two parts of the same entity, which is the reason they always end up running off together.

[danielxcutter]

A plan going up in smokes because some of your cultists were executed for heresy?

*Exterminatus of Mars is not an option, not even for an Inquisitor.
** Doubly so if they claim to be influenced by some shady humanoid from beyond time and space.
*** The Master cannot be the 5th Chaos God Malice.

I mean a completely irrelevant case of heresy. Or something else even dumber.

I mean, this is the setting where the Mechanicus executes xenos via slow conveyor belt into lava just because they can. Not even because it's efficient or whatever.

[Spore]

I mean, this is the setting where the Mechanicus executes xenos via slow conveyor belt into lava just because they can. Not even because it's efficient or whatever.

It's almost like there are some powers behind the scenes who actively benefit from grimdark emotional states.

*I shall not try to make sense of any gaming universes beyond their chosen tone because that would land me in an insane asylum pretty quickly.

But just this once...THE IMPERIUM IS STRAPPED FOR RESSOURCES ON ALL SIDES! They let entire planets and sectors fall to overwhelming Tyranid forces, yet the Mechanicum can do **** all they want? There's people dying on all worlds to grease the war machine of the Imperium but hey, the chief engineers have time to Rube-Goldberg aliens to death? WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THIS MAAAA...


The mind of this mortal has been taken over by Tzeentch. Please run along.

[danielxcutter]

It's almost like there are some powers behind the scenes who actively benefit from grimdark emotional states.

Yeah, they're called Games Workshop.

[Rater202]

*I cannot genetically engineer fast-growing trees with a wolverine-style healing factor and absurdly sturdy roots and then plant them on the properties of people who support deforestation efforts.

[Anonymouswizard]

*I cannot genetically engineer fast-growing trees with a wolverine-style healing factor and absurdly sturdy roots and then plant them on the properties of people who support deforestation efforts.

** Mainly because the Megas have already developed sufficiently powerful acid to melt them.

[Personification]

Unacceptable in-universe euphemisms for necromancer include (but are not limited to):
*Fan of the Cranberries
**Late riser
***Sponsor of infinite jest
****Wannabe Lara Croft
*****AMC executive
******Liliana cosplayer
*******Friend of Bernie
********Rude forumite
*********Edgar's tailor
**********Edgar Allen's tailor
***********Disco pioneer
************Philosophical raiser
*************Phenomenologist
**************Comeback kid
***************Calcium miner