Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[TeChameleon]

* No, I may not have a ninja turtle named 'Salvador Dali' that's "Like Michelangelo, but on LSD instead of Weed"

* If a trap whose sole purpose was to allow some location flavour without needing to make up an extra map nearly claims half the party (as in, down to zero HP), it's hard to tell whether something has gone right or wrong.

[Bohandas]

*There is not a Ninja Turtle named Bob Ross

* No, I may not have a ninja turtle named 'Salvador Dali' that's "Like Michelangelo, but on LSD instead of Weed"

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

[Anonymouswizard]

* My Strategist's method of destruction cannot be 'disintegrating pants'.

[Eldan]

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****May not have a Ninja Turtle called Jackson Pollock who uses an Uzi.

[TeChameleon]

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

* There's already a robot Ninja Turtle named Metalhead, creating one called Dall-E is redundant.
** Creating two fan characters called Anish Kapoor and Stuart Semple who have their own vicious rivalry and don't care about what the rest of the Turtles are doing is mildly amusing, but not terribly useful.

[noob]

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****His only weakness might not be messed up hands.

[Spore]

* There's already a robot Ninja Turtle named Metalhead, creating one called Dall-E is redundant.
** Creating two fan characters called Anish Kapoor and Stuart Semple who have their own vicious rivalry and don't care about what the rest of the Turtles are doing is mildly amusing, but not terribly useful.

*** May not introduce an episode where Anish Kapoor is allied with the shredder to line New York city's pools with Vantablack so they heat up enough the chlorine will seep into the sewers to kill the TMNTs in some cruel WW 1 warfare style.
**** Even if the episode twist would be Semple tricking humans to use his version of black that is far less dangerous but still heats up like crazy creating the turtle death trap.
***** The morale may not be: "don't be prideful, or else your friends will die a cruel death." even if appropriate.

[Personification]

***May not create a mary sue Ninja Turtles fan character named Stable Diffusion who can do everything the others can but faster and better

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo/Taskmaster/Learnerer powerset
*****I may not use this thread to shoehorn in references to WordGirl

[Anonymouswizard]

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo/Taskmaster/Learnerer powerset

***** Taskmaster powers are not the ability to force five comedians to perform strange tasks under an arbitrary time limit.

[Rater202]

****They also can't be a villain with the Amazo/Taskmaster/Learnerer powerset
*****I may not use this thread to shoehorn in references to WordGirl

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

[Anonymouswizard]

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

I'm not sure becoming Greg Davies is necessarily a downside...

[TeChameleon]

The Taskmaster powerset is kind of a trap. It sounds cool on paper but the side effects are guaranteed death of personality.

Not to mention that you don't even need to think as hard about them as most superpowers for them to make no sense- he's claimed he learned to fight 'like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan' from their movies... so, he knows how to carefully swing near a stuntman so that it looks like he decked them from the right angle?

And perfectly mimicking the moves of somebody who's not the same height or build as him... I mean, I'm no expert on anatomy and physiology, but wouldn't that turn him into a whimpering heap of torn ligaments and pulled muscles in fairly short order..?

EDIT- I'm weirdly amused that my dumb joke about art-world drama landed...

[Mandark]

*Am not allowed to create a Lich named Anish Kapoor just so the party can destroy him multiple times in ever more creative and petty ways with the Bean.
**Without letting them know where his phylactery is.
***Because we don't need more than one undead Jerkwad artist creator of the Bean in the multiverse. EVER.
****Obligatory fork Anish Kapoor

[danielxcutter]

Do I want to know the context for this?

[D&D_Fan]

* It is an AWFUL idea to give an atomic weapon to a random beggar outside of a tent on the side of the road.
**Seriously, why did you do this. You could have sold it for money if you don't want it. He just wanted food.
***If that nuke goes off, it's taking an entire village with it + the entire surrounding region.

[Telok]

* While my PC is spending time dead for tax reasons, I may no longer so successfully play the characer's imp familiar as to get multiple party members to make infernal pacts with it and deck it out in PC levels of magical equipment.

** I may not tempt the DM with turning in my PC's sorcerer levels and nominally good alignment in exchange for the imp getting upgraded to a more powerful devil.

*** I may not ask to just play the imp instead and leave the PC dead.

[KorvinStarmast]

* I may no longer try to dispel the simulacrum of the King with his son, and his minister of defense, looking on during the King's (well, the simulacrum's) long, boring, and rambling speech¹
** I may no longer tell the minister of defense that he's a freaking moron to his face in front of a room full of others, even though I am right.
*** I may no longer kill the sleeper agent with whom the minister of defense was sleeping²
**** I may not, and did not, shoot the deputy.

¹

Spoiler: how did it go?

Show

(I failed the roll)

²

Spoiler: why?

Show

... because she's dead already, by my hand, and I called him out for a fool.

[tyckspoon]

Do I want to know the context for this?

So, ok, in the mid 2010s the formula for a pigment called 'Vantablack' was found. You may have run into articles about it, probably with references to 'How much more black can it be?' in the title - it's so efficient at capturing light that objects painted with it look like holes in existence, like 3D silhouettes left behind where somebody deleted something from the universe's canvas. This is Really Cool, and a lot of artists want to play with it.

Enter Anish Kapoor. Anish Kapoor manages to get the inventor/patent holder of Vantablack to give him exclusive license to use the pigment. Which means nobody other than Anish Kapoor can, legally, experiment with it or make use of it in artworks. This is widely regarded as a **** Move.

Enter Stuart Semple (and friends and business associates, but Stuart is the name and face attached to the company.) He took that personally, and eventually found a formula for a very similar level of black that was distinct enough from Vantablack to not break its patent and licensing terms. This is marketed as 'Black 2.0' (and later refined further to Black 3.0.) Black 2.0 and 3.0 are available for general sale to everybody. Unless the everybody you are happens to be Anish Kapoor. The shop page for Black 2.0 and 3.0 specifically forbids Anish Kapoor from purchasing it or anybody else purchasing it on his behalf.

[Bohandas]

What's the "bean" thing about though?

[Rockphed]

What's the "bean" thing about though?

I think that is about the mirrored sculpture in Chicago. It looks like a chrome bean. I think Anish Kapoor made it. It isn't actually named "The Bean", but everyone calls it that. He supposedly hates it. He just sounds like a lovely person, no?

* Toddlers do not have super powers. They cannot move especially fast, are not particularly stealthy, and are not strong even for their body weight. Toddlerman is a bad idea for a superhero.

[TeChameleon]

Do I want to know the context for this?

Tyckspoon has the right of it- here (apologies for the cheezburger link, it was the most convenient one I could find) covers things in a little more detail; Anish Kapoor is a fantastically wealthy elitist douche, and Stuart Semple seems to have made it his life's goal to a) make awesome art supplies and b) piss Anish Kapoor off in amazingly petty ways while doing so.

In short, nobody does drama like artists.

[Pauly]

* Toddlers do not have super powers. They cannot move especially fast, are not particularly stealthy, and are not strong even for their body weight. Toddlerman is a bad idea for a superhero.

** If the DM is a parent they will recognize these powers as legitimate superpowers and suggest additional powers such as deception by laughing and acting cute, ear drum shattering screams and power vomiting at will.

[Pauly]

***** Taskmaster powers are not the ability to force five comedians to perform strange tasks under an arbitrary time limit.

***** Nor is it the ability to write tasks in such a way that only the cleverest comedians can find a loophole to exploit.

[Wookieetank]

** If the DM is a parent they will recognize these powers as legitimate superpowers and suggest additional powers such as deception by laughing and acting cute, ear drum shattering screams and power vomiting at will.

***Not to mention: oblivious to danger, extraordinary (if selective) hearing, ridiculous amounts of endurance for physical activities, and fantastic memory pertaining to things they've been told will happen.
****May not speculate on who would win in a Toddlerman vs Floridaman matchup.

[TeChameleon]

* If, courtesy of what was essentially a timestop in grenade form, a roomful of enemies is about to be hit by an insane simultaneous barrage of fireballs, eldritch blasts, javelins, crossbow bolts, thrown knives, and an angry parrot to the face, the angry parrot should not be the most dangerous of the batch.

** When the large, complicated boss encounter is erased in two rounds (one of them being a surprise round), jokes about a sudden influx of confused people into the Nine Hells are in slightly poor taste. Still funny, though.

[D&D_Fan]

* While it sounds like a good idea, actually giving players a fight against enemies that are actually smart will end in a TPK. It's not your fault your players aren't very clever, you just need to accommodate that.

** To be fair, the enemies used were imperial Jedi hunters and they knew how to combat most of what the party Jedi could throw at them.

*** But even the non-Jedi party members weren't helpful. One of them literally electrocuted himself, and another was fell to her death a la Darth Sidious in Episode 6

**** The Jedi party member was the opposite of helpful because he destroyed the floor which resulted in the afformentioned falling death.

***** Last time I run a starwars game. Next time magic space wizards are banned.

[Personification]

* While it sounds like a good idea, actually giving players a fight against enemies that are actually smart will end in a TPK. It's not your fault your players aren't very clever, you just need to accommodate that.

** To be fair, the enemies used were imperial Jedi hunters and they knew how to combat most of what the party Jedi could throw at them.

*** But even the non-Jedi party members weren't helpful. One of them literally electrocuted himself, and another was fell to her death a la Darth Sidious in Episode 6

**** The Jedi party member was the opposite of helpful because he destroyed the floor which resulted in the afformentioned falling death.

***** Last time I run a starwars game. Next time magic space wizards are banned.

Well, if it was Star Wars, that's basically enforced. Star Wars villains are always dumb (except Thrawn, who could probably create many a TPK, which only supports the point).

[Bohandas]

*The Deep Ones may not attempt to entice the investigators to join their side with a rousing rendition of "Under The Sea"

[Telwar]

*The Deep Ones may not attempt to entice the investigators to join their side with a rousing rendition of "Under The Sea"

And the Shoggoth is certainly not allowed to sing harmony with itself.

[Tohron]

* The Bard cannot make everyone immune to fear effects by playing Yakety Sax
** Where did they get that saxophone anyway?