Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Anonymouswizard]

* Vuvuzela proficiency DOES allow me to play the kazoo.
** If it ever becomes relevant I am to stop arguing against it.
*** I am to stop trying to find the most impractical combination of proficiencies possible.

[Lord Torath]

So, ok, in the mid 2010s the formula for a pigment called 'Vantablack' was found. You may have run into articles about it, probably with references to 'How much more black can it be?' in the title - it's so efficient at capturing light that objects painted with it look like holes in existence, like 3D silhouettes left behind where somebody deleted something from the universe's canvas. This is Really Cool, and a lot of artists want to play with it.

Enter Anish Kapoor. Anish Kapoor manages to get the inventor/patent holder of Vantablack to give him exclusive license to use the pigment. Which means nobody other than Anish Kapoor can, legally, experiment with it or make use of it in artworks. This is widely regarded as a **** Move.

Enter Stuart Semple (and friends and business associates, but Stuart is the name and face attached to the company.) He took that personally, and eventually found a formula for a very similar level of black that was distinct enough from Vantablack to not break its patent and licensing terms. This is marketed as 'Black 2.0' (and later refined further to Black 3.0.) Black 2.0 and 3.0 are available for general sale to everybody. Unless the everybody you are happens to be Anish Kapoor. The shop page for Black 2.0 and 3.0 specifically forbids Anish Kapoor from purchasing it or anybody else purchasing it on his behalf.

On the other hand, as I understand it, the formula for VantaBlack is fairly toxic, while Black 2.0 and 3.0 are much more environmentally friendly. So I'm pretty okay with VantaBlack being off limits. Kapoor's still a jerk, though.

[Rater202]

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

[Lord Raziere]

* My powers can't be "I'm a mirror demon that copies peoples everything then does being that person better than them".
** or "know all the things that never happened and pull things from possibilities that never were."
*** or "maw-demon that turns fists and body into all devouring mouths that devours anything both physical and abstract"
**** or "fall in love with people to teach or kill them better while turning into a crimson wind all so I can free people"
***** or "become radioactive demon of brass who commands everyone by shouting in rage"

* May not combine tyranids, xenomorphs and zerg and become the humanoid hive queen of the result
** May not add the Vord to this
*** or any other hive mind or swarm of alien locusts

[Metastachydium]

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?

[Lord Raziere]

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?

Y'know Deadpool and how he regenerates like Wolverine? Yeah, thats actually canonically supercancer made from regular cancer because superhero comics science loves making problems worse. Since Rater is a big Marvel fan, that is probably what he is thinking of.

* May not have the power of the Antimeme
** may not use it to erase reaction content, thus collapsing vast parts of the internet into shambles

[DCraw]

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?

Haven't you seen Akira? It may not be a particularly useful power, but blobbing out is definitely an incredibly destructive one.

* The Bard cannot make everyone immune to fear effects by playing Yakety Sax
** Where did they get that saxophone anyway?

*** A bad vocalisation cover of Yakety Sax is not the Verbal component of Expeditious Retreat.

[danielxcutter]

* The Unconquered Sun did not have twintails or was actually called the Unconquered Tsun

[Metastachydium]

Haven't you seen Akira? It may not be a particularly useful power, but blobbing out is definitely an incredibly destructive one.

I don't doubt that. It's just… The main feature of cancer is that it's not under control.

Y'know Deadpool and how he regenerates like Wolverine? Yeah, thats actually canonically supercancer made from regular cancer because superhero comics science loves making problems worse. Since Rater is a big Marvel fan, that is probably what he is thinking of.

Hrm. That is possible. Anyhow, if you'll need me in the next few hours, I'll be right there, murdering catgirls.

[danielxcutter]

Not making sense is half the fun, like full-body conversion cyborgs with psychic powers and mullets.

[D&D_Fan]

My powers can't be "basically, I'm cancer scaled up to human size."

Basically, just a mutant who's really good at getting food and reproducing then?

Cancer can be thought of as cells mutating in such a way that they get an advantage over other cells. And that normally represents an upset in any ecosystem, but it's when that ecosystem is a body, that that body gets pretty messed up.

[Rater202]

Huh? Cancer is ultimately a pathological condition where the cells of an organism (or, rather, various subsets of these cells) begin to proliferate in an uncontrolled and unchecked fashion. You want to be a human body that grows into an uncomely, misshapen ball of human bodies whether you want that or not? How's that a power?

Cancer cells are hard to kill, very good at getting resources, have no limits on how they grow, and are highly prone to mutations that, at the cellular level, are highly benificial to the cancer(but not anything else.)

It'd defintely be a lovecraftian super power, but it'd be useful.

Y'know Deadpool and how he regenerates like Wolverine? Yeah, thats actually canonically supercancer made from regular cancer because superhero comics science loves making problems worse. Since Rater is a big Marvel fan, that is probably what he is thinking of.

Not quite: What happened was they spliced him with a modified version of Wolverines X-Gene complex in the hopes that the healing factor would kill the cancer... Unfortunately, some of his cancer cells also got the mutant DNA.

So Wade's healing factor is constantly suppressing a cancer that keeps spreading too rapidly to be destroyed and is contantly mutating to resist the effects of the healing factor, which in urn keeps adapting o combat the cancer.

At this point, his system is so adapted to fighting cancer that he needs cancer to live. Cure his cancer and his healing factor doesn't know how to tunr off anymore so he'd just start growing misshapen lumps of tissue that isn't technically cancer but would kill him just the same.

And for the record, I was thinking of the Cancer Cell in Cells at Work.

...Which is a weird show. Like, mother**** I don't want to feel bad for cancer. That son of a bitch killed my dad.

[Metastachydium]

Cancer cells are hard to kill, very good at getting resources, have no limits on how they grow, and are highly prone to mutations that, at the cellular level, are highly benificial to the cancer(but not anything else.)

It'd defintely be a lovecraftian super power, but it'd be useful.

I remain skeptical. For starters, being unchecked is pretty much the thing of cancer. And if you do it at "human" rather than cellular scale, that's a recipe for body horror. Further, cancer is self-defeating. It sabotages and ultimately destroys the organism it requires to exist and prosper. It's good at diverting resources to fuel its spread, but those resources have to come from somewhere and the tumor tissue is unable to produce them.

At this point, his system is so adapted to fighting cancer that he needs cancer to live. Cure his cancer and his healing factor doesn't know how to tunr off anymore so he'd just start growing misshapen lumps of tissue that isn't technically cancer but would kill him just the same.

It is technically cancer. Cancer's not a specific disease. If, for whatever reason, malignant tumors begin to develop in a body, that's cancer, irrespective of what kicked in the carcinogenesis.

[Rater202]

It is technically cancer. Cancer's not a specific disease. If, for whatever reason, malignant tumors begin to develop in a body, that's cancer, irrespective of what kicked in the carcinogenesis.

It's not "technically" cancer because a cure for cancer wouldn't fix it.

Like, explicitly: There are several universal cures for cancer, that is to say, they cure all cancers not just one specific kind, in the Marvel Universe and giving one to Wade wouldn't fix the problem with his healing factor.

Norman Osborn once created a cancer curring weapon specifically to use against Deadpool.

[Metastachydium]

It's not "technically" cancer because a cure for cancer wouldn't fix it.

Like, explicitly: There are several universal cures for cancer, that is to say, they cure all cancers not just one specific kind, in the Marvel Universe and giving one to Wade wouldn't fix the problem with his healing factor.

Norman Osborn once created a cancer curring weapon specifically to use against Deadpool.

Hrm. This is gonna be a long day. That, and a hard day to be a catgirl. More pertinently, if it's unchecked abnormal proliferation producing malignant tumors, then yes, it is pretty much per definitionem cancer. That the multiple "universal cures" don't work merely means that those cures are not universal after all. I mean, that's like arguing "no aircraft can fly faster than Mach 1; the Lockheed Blackbird can, and therefore it's not an aircraft".

[D&D_Fan]

* Sickle cell, haemophilia, Alzheimer's, and color blindness, though they can result from genetic deviation and mutation, are not considered mutations for the purpose of attending the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters.

[Rater202]

Hrm. This is gonna be a long day. That, and a hard day to be a catgirl. More pertinently, if it's unchecked abnormal proliferation producing malignant tumors, then yes, it is pretty much per definitionem cancer. That the multiple "universal cures" don't work merely means that those cures are not universal after all. I mean, that's like arguing "no aircraft can fly faster than Mach 1; the Lockheed Blackbird can, and therefore it's not an aircraft".

...

Does cancer make you explode like someone stuffed a firecracker in balloon full of assorted meats?

Because that's the key difference.

[Anonymouswizard]

...

Does cancer make you explode like someone stuffed a firecracker in balloon full of assorted meats?

Because that's the key difference.

I'm sure it would if you got enough of it fast enough. I'm sure white blood cells would do the same if you got enough of them fast enough. I'd also really like to know where Deadpool is getting the energy for this cansplision from, besides 'comic book physics'.

The way people think of cancer, including writers, isn't really entirely consistent with what cancer is. We have cures for cancer in the real world right now, what we don't have is perfectly safe and reliable cures for cancer.

Plus the Marvel Universe only has 100% reliable cures for cancer when a major hero doesn't have to die from it.

[Rater202]

I'd also really like to know where Deadpool is getting the energy for this cansplision from, besides 'comic book physics'.

An extradimensional connection siphoning the cosmic energy of the celestials and processing it to warp reality in a way that manifests through his biology.

Plus the Marvel Universe only has 100% reliable cures for cancer when a major hero doesn't have to die from it.

It's more that they're costly and not available to the public, or they're being hoarded for some reason.

Or someone's just being an *******: Doctor Strange once managed to get his hands on an elixir that cures all diseases and it got stolen from him and destroyed by a drug company that felt that their bottom line was more important than countless people's lives.

[Anonymouswizard]

An extradimensional connection siphoning the cosmic energy of the celestials and processing it to warp reality in a way that manifests through his biology.

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

It's more that they're costly and not available to the public, or they're being hoarded for some reason.

Or someone's just being an *******: Doctor Strange once managed to get his hands on an elixir that cures all diseases and it got stolen from him and destroyed by a drug company that felt that their bottom line was more important than countless people's lives.

'Because the writers won't let the surface setting deviate too much from reality'. Got it.

Also if Captain Britain needs to die from cancer for a writer's storyline you can pmbet your socks that the cures suddenly aren't 100% reliable.

[tyckspoon]

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

.. you have to already know that 'justify mutants to me, but stay within the realm of actual real things' is a fool's errand. It's not going to happen - the actual in world explanation for how 'mutants' work is 'they were genetically modified to give them access to a supernatural power source.' It's turtles all the way down from there.

[Lord Raziere]

Besides 'comic book physics'. Like, an explanation that makes something vaguely resembling sense.

he's draining magic energy from star gods made of hyper-technology to heal magically. this is kind of explanation you get when too many nerds over decades point out all the other explanations don't scientific sense and the writers just want them to shut up already and enjoy the comic.

* My superhero may not be powered by soda
** Their powers may not depend on which soda they consume
*** Their story may not be about how they to deal with an addiction to soda as a result of their powers
**** Or deal with having to hide their need for soda so that corporations don't find out and try to make deals with the hero, not wanting to sell out to them.

[Anonymouswizard]

.. you have to already know that 'justify mutants to me, but stay within the realm of actual real things' is a fool's errand. It's not going to happen - the actual in world explanation for how 'mutants' work is 'they were genetically modified to give them access to a supernatural power source.' It's turtles all the way down from there.

Ah, you see, that explanation makes a lot more sense. Also Rated has a tendency to jump to explanations involving a lot of in-world terminology, when I'm still not 100% certain on mutants vs mutates.

I'm not looking for hard science, I'm looking for something I can follow, like 'werewolves change mass when shifting because they swap shapes with ones stored in their aura. If you can see auras you'll notice theirs waxes and wanes in intensity inversely to their current mass. Also they're really bright, shifter auras are easy to spot'.

he's draining magic energy from star gods made of hyper-technology to heal magically.

Now that makes perfect sense!

[Rater202]

Ah, you see, that explanation makes a lot more sense. Also Rated has a tendency to jump to explanations involving a lot of in-world terminology, when I'm still not 100% certain on mutants vs mutates.

Originally it was "naturally has power" versus "gained powers from accident or experimentation."

Charles Xavier was born telepathic, Spider-Man only has powers because of the radioactive spider bite.

Once superhuman biology became better understood, the definitions were revised so that mutants were people who manifested powers or physical changes as a result of the expression of the X-Gene complex while mutates were people who manifested powers as a result of other genetic or biological factors, which could be inborn(the Gamma Gene) or artificially induced(the mutations caused by the Goblin Formula.)

There are a whole bunch of other small details that add up to "you know, mutants being their own species makes whole lot more sense now than it did int he sixties" but if I listed them all we've be here all day.

[Spore]

* Sickle cell, haemophilia, Alzheimer's, and color blindness, though they can result from genetic deviation and mutation, are not considered mutations for the purpose of attending the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters.

This comes to mind.

Spoiler

Show

"Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!" decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.
"Shut up, we're perf." says girl who makes clouds.

[Rater202]

This comes to mind.

Spoiler

Show

"Finally, a cure for my chainsaw hands!" decreed Chainsaw-Hands Joe.
"Shut up, we're perf." says girl who makes clouds.

I always hate that response to the idea of mutant cures.

Even ignoring how that movie more or less butchered Rogue's character, it's abundantly clear that the cure isn't a choice, people are getting it whether they want it or not.

So Rogue is happy about something that is bad news for literally every other mutant.

Seriously, Storm is showing a great deal of restraint in not smacking some perspective into Rogue right now.

[danielxcutter]

I mean, I can live with the "cure" existing, it's mostly the forcing factor that's the issue for me.

Also didn't Rogue kill one of her boyfriends or something by accident with her powers?

[Lord Raziere]

Also, at the end of that movie, its revealed that the effects of that cure are temporary and also made from a child so the whole hullaballoo over it was for basically nothing while making a minor suffer. Not really an argument in favor of a cure.

[Rater202]

I mean, I can live with the "cure" existing, it's mostly the forcing factor that's the issue for me.

The very idea of calling it a cure is inherently offensive because it presumes that a large number of people are "sick" because they happened to be born differant.

It's very existence is a threat, because as long as it exists there is the possibility that someone will force it on mutants who don't want it.

...And Mutants like Cyclops and Rogue are a minority among mutants, to the point of being statistically insignificant. Even if you think that their condition is worth "curing..."

...Out of a population of millions, you'd be able to help... Maybe a dozen, extrapolating from numbers.

Mass producing such a drug, a single batch is going to have many times more what you need to actually help the people who might actually benefit from it, which shows you the actual priorities of the people making it.

[danielxcutter]

Oh, I don't disagree with all that. I just can't really blame people who get majorly screwed over by their powers for... not wanting them.

Of course, for like 99.999% of the mutant population they don't have it that bad, I get that much.