Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking Game

[Reltzik]

* I do not gain Cold Resistance just because I'm a Thawmaturge.
** -100 XP for intentionally misspelling that on my character sheet.

[Rockphed]

* I do not gain Cold Resistance just because I'm a Thawmaturge.
** -100 XP for intentionally misspelling that on my character sheet.

*** I am not allowed to take a level in Thaumaturge using an elementalist class specializing in fire and a cleric of the god of cold/winter.
**** Specializing in cold and worshiping fire is also forbidden.
***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.
****** "Summon Sea Level Rise" and "Punch hole in the ozone layer" just make me sound like a Captain Planet villain.

[danielxcutter]

*** I am not allowed to take a level in Thaumaturge using an elementalist class specializing in fire and a cleric of the god of cold/winter.
**** Specializing in cold and worshiping fire is also forbidden.
***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.
****** "Summon Sea Level Rise" and "Punch hole in the ozone layer" just make me sound like a Captain Planet villain.

So, Pentex employee.

[DCraw]

* No matter how cathartic it may be to run, "Red Shirts and Brown Pants: a day in the life of a town guard" is not an acceptable theme for a campaign.

[Bohandas]

***** If my peak powers are best described as "summon glacier" and "cause global warming", I will get a book to the face.

IIRC there's literally a cause global warming spell in D&D 3.5. It's from Sandstorm I think.

[dspeyer]

* No matter how cathartic it may be to run, "Red Shirts and Brown Pants: a day in the life of a town guard" is not an acceptable theme for a campaign.

** I should not select a system based on how quickly new characters can be rolled up even if "quickly" is how my players will go through them.
*** This is not how Kobolds Ate My Baby got written

[danielxcutter]

IIRC there's literally a cause global warming spell in D&D 3.5. It's from Sandstorm I think.

One of the Epic Spells, the direct opposite of the Ice Age spell IIRC.

It's not exactly practical.

[Bohandas]

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

[Spore]

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

There is some build idea brewing in my head surrounding the idea of "Control Winds", "Fog Cloud", "Obscuring Mist", "Cloudkill" and "Stinking Cloud tho.

*I may not class their class an olfactor.
** If I spam the last page of an old thread with a bad fart pun I am to summon the wise men to name the new thread.

[danielxcutter]

I suspect more than the last two together would be redundant though. Also we're on the last page so new thread needed Soon^TM.

[KorvinStarmast]

* May no longer break up a riot (dozens of angry townsfolk in the worst part of town wielding bricks, stones, pitch forks and torches) using the gust of wind spell as a fire hose.

Spoiler: Wait, what?

Show

(Yes, it worked)

[Bohandas]

*If I'm starting to see things Friend Computer's way in real life, I may need some rest

[Pauly]

*there's more to being a wind mage than just eating beans

* There’s more to being a Wind Bard than singing “beans, beans the magical fruit …”

[TeChameleon]

* Being able to defeat a Zone of Truth through sheer social awkwardness is not a positive thing when we're in a (relatively) friendly capital under suspicion of mass murder.
** Pointing out that I can kick an armoured man's lungs out through his back does not do anything to diffuse the tension, no.
*** Getting frustrated and even more awkward doesn't really help matters either.
**** Apparently pointing out that I (in character, obviously) neither know nor care what kingdom/duchy/whatever we're in, which makes plotting harm against it impractical at best, is also not the right answer.

[Telok]

* Not allowed to muderize, derail, torture, maim, terrify, and arson my way through a campaign to reinforce my "this character is not a bard, the class combo was chosen because it mechanically matches the character better than anything else" speech & 5 sentence backstory that I gave to the GM.

** Not allowed to shortcut major parts of the adventure by skinning "friendly" npcs alive for information.

*** Still not ok even if I didn't know they were a plot relevant npc.

**** I should tone down my reaction to GMs who are so overwhelmed by unintuitive mechanics & official adventure crap organization, that they keep defaulting to "class = personality" and can't remember basic character info like "not a bard" for ten minutes even after I've said it four times.

***** May not add another notch to my clipboard for accidentally crushing a new GM with logical ration merciless amoral efficent in-character actions backed up by the character's backstory, personality game mechanics, and alignment.

[Bohandas]

*May not point out that under the Dark Powers Check rules all of a villains' minions in the ravenloft setting should quickly become independent demilords and that for this reason every villain's plans and operations should quickly fall apart like a ponzi shene

*May not point out that the rules for roleplaying fear to avoid fear checks in Ravenloft creates an incentive for every character to be roleplayed as Courage The Cowardly Dog

EDIT:

*Fenphen is a recalled drug, not a pokemon

EDIT:

*Santa Claus was not on the HUAC

[Anonymouswizard]

* My superhero robot Autocop cannot be Three Laws Compliant.

Yes, that actually got banned. In practice I ended up First Law Compliant, but that was mostly due to one player insisting their concept* shouldn't be restricted by PL caps so I could barely damage anything. Autocop spent most of their time putting fences back together at super speed (I'd accidentally bought enough ranks to outrun a train, so I bought more).

Autocop was fun actually, I might bring them back in a future game. They made a habit of posting villains' secret identities to forums in order to gather information, had a retractable siren and helicopter blades, and could deactivate their arms for MOAR SPEED (GM-okayed alternate effect on my Strength's inbuilt Damage power).

* Which was basically Deku from MHA, who is totally PL10.

[danielxcutter]

While that sounds genuinely fun, how do you accidentally buy enough ranks to outrun a train?

[Anonymouswizard]

While that sounds genuinely fun, how do you accidentally buy enough ranks to outrun a train?

A mixture of forgetting standard train speeds and adding a step or two when converting from metres/second to metres/round. When you literally don't deal with vehicles beyond being a passenger speeds of this level feel a tad abstract.

[Rockphed]

A mixture of forgetting standard train speeds and adding a step or two when converting from metres/second to metres/round. When you literally don't deal with vehicles beyond being a passenger speeds of this level feel a tad abstract.

There is a high speed train that goes 3 miles per hour. Okay, so it is carting 200 ton radio dishes around a dried up lake bed and it might count as as axillary vehicle more than a train, but it does run on high speed track.

[Anonymouswizard]

There is a high speed train that goes 3 miles per hour.

I'm not talking about American trains

But yeah, I was looking to outrun a speeding car, and bought a rank higher than needed. Which let me outrun the Eurostar, so I just bought more and became the team speedster.

[Rater202]

I cannot play as a character who accidentally becomes a god.

[danielxcutter]

Okay but in Pathfinder there's literally precedent.

[Anonymouswizard]

I cannot play as a character who accidentally becomes a god.

I mean, in most games I own where you become a god you tend not to do it on purpose

Although admittedly it's because those games are Nobilis and Scion, where divinity requires you to either be born into it, have a sponsor, or both. I actually really like that in Scion 2e normal people can start on the road to godhood, but it's a kind of ****ty deal until you begin internalising power as the person providing the divinity can just decide to take it all back if you don't play along.

Then you've got games where the definition of 'godhood' is murky. Supers systems are great for this, as getting powers by accident is a standard trope and every setting has a different definition of godhood. Aberrant springs to mind, as at least one NPC is pretty much officially confirmed to eventually make their own universe and there's no indication that you get a choice as to what powers you develop. It's possible, but unlikely, to be a Dark Star Nova until you suddenly develop Universe Creation.

[Rater202]

I mean, in most games I own where you become a god you tend not to do it on purpose

An actual character I'm playing as is pursuing a path to power that will culminate in apotheosis by the standards of the setting.

She does not know this, actively denies the existence of some of the abilities she's set to develop and is in fact an atheist.

I find the irony to be amusing.

[Anonymouswizard]

An actual character I'm playing as is pursuing a path to power that will culminate in apotheosis by the standards of the setting.

She does not know this, actively denies the existence of some of the abilities she's set to develop and is in fact an atheist.

I find the irony to be amusing.

Eh, it's maybe a tad unusual, but 'ascend by accident' really isn't that uncommon (it's probably the most common way Archetypes are created in UA, for example). Doing so while being an atheist or misotheist is rarer, but give me a day and Google and I could probably pull out multiple examples.

Like settings where you can't unintentionally hit godhood are pretty rare, Mage the Awakening springs to mind but you can argue over where godhood begins in that game (practically everybody hits their first Awakening by accident, but achieving a second one has to be intentional). It's best to sit back, magic up a top hat, and enjoy your apotheosis in style.


* My Deviant's backstory cannot be 'spent six years as the research material for Thaumatechnology'.
** Even if it's probably how The Cheiron Group makes most of theirs.

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah, its the people who intentionally seek godhood that are the ones that tend to fail. Or at least, achieve for about a minute before they somehow get defeated by some determined heroes who don't have divine power anyways. Accidental godhoods on the other hand are a surprise and thus generally go to people who work on the "I never desired power thus I end up getting the most" twist ending form of irony and thus tend to stick.

* May not be a determined hero who says "well clearly I defeated god with just my determination and skill, so clearly I'm more powerful than god and thus omnipotence already"
** May not then do stuff like forcefully make my love interest come back to life with pure determination thus breaking all aesops about death and moving on since I'm more powerful than omnipotence
*** May not respond to protests about how this makes no sense with "I killed god, which is powerful than sense, therefore I'm more powerful than things making sense, therefore I don't need to make any"
**** May not make all the megalomaniacal villains seeking godhood cry by pointing out all their convoluted efforts were pointless and useless compared to me just leveling up a lot and that they could've gotten my power just by grinding some monsters over and over again.

[Rater202]

In a dragon ball themed game, I can't introduce a family of Majins named Yoomoh, Goowayguy, Fighdy, and Zhouw.

[Lord Raziere]

In a dragon ball themed game, I can't introduce a family of Majins named Yoomoh, Goowayguy, Fighdy, and Zhouw.

** Or Azeriath, Metrione and Zinthos.
*** or Please, Thank and Yu
**** or Fuego, Forzare, Fliccum and Biccus
***** or Expelliarmus, Cruciatus, Avada, Wingardium, Sectum, Kedavra, Patronus, Leviosa and Sempra, etc
****** or Kagebunshinnojutsu, Rasengan and Chidori
******* or Flare, Ultima, Photon, and Curaga

[Bohandas]

* May not be a determined hero who says "well clearly I defeated god with just my determination and skill, so clearly I'm more powerful than god and thus omnipotence already"
** May not then do stuff like forcefully make my love interest come back to life with pure determination thus breaking all aesops about death and moving on since I'm more powerful than omnipotence
*** May not respond to protests about how this makes no sense with "I killed god, which is powerful than sense, therefore I'm more powerful than things making sense, therefore I don't need to make any"
**** May not make all the megalomaniacal villains seeking godhood cry by pointing out all their convoluted efforts were pointless and useless compared to me just leveling up a lot and that they could've gotten my power just by grinding some monsters over and over again.

Isn't that basically Journey to the West?

edit:
Except the second one, that's the end of the Hellboy movie