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  1. - Top - End - #211
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    KorvinStarmast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixPhyre View Post
    * May no longer suggest that the party's resident inter-racial (halfling and half-elf) gay couple assassinate the local duke by being flamboyantly, over-the-top gay in her presence and driving her into a rage-induced stroke.
    ** Even if she is an elderly, racist, xenophobic male-hating jerk with a weak heart. She's not a homophobe, just hates men as anything other than mobile baby-making devices, believing that's the will of the gods. Oh, and hates outsiders, magic users, and adventurers.
    ** Doing this may cause political consequences that undermine the whole point of trying to talk to her in the first place.
    In truth, those two needed adult supervision from ... uh, my bard. Hmm, on second thought, maybe that would just have been more fuel to the fire ...
    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    The point is more than using a weapon of mass destruction as a wedding ring is a no-no.
    You've given me an idea that runs into another no no

    * I may no longer make artifacts that are a variation on the Rod of Seven Parts. (Seven rings with seven gems of these colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, indigo - that when worn on the same finger (slip one on after the other as they are found) ultimately allow any PC to cast Prismatic Spray seven times a day when going to Saint Ives as long as they have both a cat and a kitten ... well, you can see why I am not allowed to make artifacts anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * May not smelt down six rings to make a rainbow ring.
    You were way ahead of me, but I went with all seven colors due to my the whole rod of seven parts thing ...

    ** Also, not allowed to change the game world by using True Polymorph to permanently transform an object into a CR 9 Young Silver Dragon (concentrate long enough for it to be permanent) and introduce them to "a nice young silver dragon I just met last week" (yeah, I did the same thing to the week before) so that the breeding pairs of Silver Dragons increases substantially all over the game world. DM has reviewed my plan and advised me that "well, for each dragon so created, where are you going to find a dragon's soul to inhabit that mortal coil?"

    *** And it was such a great idea, right?

    **** No longer allowed to create a simulacrum of a unicorn and then hire the simulacrum out to various horse breeders for (exorbitant) stud fees.

    ***** And it was such a great idea, right?
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  2. - Top - End - #212
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    In truth, those two needed adult supervision from ... uh, my bard. Hmm, on second thought, maybe that would just have been more fuel to the fire ...
    You've given me an idea that runs into another no no

    * I may no longer make artifacts that are a variation on the Rod of Seven Parts. (Seven rings with seven gems of these colors - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, indigo - that when worn on the same finger (slip one on after the other as they are found) ultimately allow any PC to cast Prismatic Spray seven times a day when going to Saint Ives as long as they have both a cat and a kitten ... well, you can see why I am not allowed to make artifacts anymore.
    You were way ahead of me, but I went with all seven colors due to my the whole rod of seven parts thing ...

    ** Also, not allowed to change the game world by using True Polymorph to permanently transform an object into a CR 9 Young Silver Dragon (concentrate long enough for it to be permanent) and introduce them to "a nice young silver dragon I just met last week" (yeah, I did the same thing to the week before) so that the breeding pairs of Silver Dragons increases substantially all over the game world. DM has reviewed my plan and advised me that "well, for each dragon so created, where are you going to find a dragon's soul to inhabit that mortal coil?"

    *** And it was such a great idea, right?

    **** No longer allowed to create a simulacrum of a unicorn and then hire the simulacrum out to various horse breeders for (exorbitant) stud fees.

    ***** And it was such a great idea, right?
    *** may not suggest: "I will polymorph a rock in a dragon soul too" nor may I ask "are the children of polymorphed rocks polymorphed rocks too?"
    Last edited by noob; 2021-06-15 at 11:28 AM.

  3. - Top - End - #213
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    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by KorvinStarmast View Post
    ** Also, not allowed to change the game world by using True Polymorph to permanently transform an object into a CR 9 Young Silver Dragon (concentrate long enough for it to be permanent) and introduce them to "a nice young silver dragon I just met last week" (yeah, I did the same thing to the week before) so that the breeding pairs of Silver Dragons increases substantially all over the game world. DM has reviewed my plan and advised me that "well, for each dragon so created, where are you going to find a dragon's soul to inhabit that mortal coil?"
    *** I may not True Polymorph a dead rat into a dead Great Wyrm Red Dragon permanently, and then butcher it for meat, dragonsscale armor, teeth, and alchemical components.
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  4. - Top - End - #214
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by noob View Post
    *** may not suggest: "I will polymorph a rock in a dragon soul too" nor may I ask "are the children of polymorphed rocks polymorphed rocks too?"
    I like your sideways thinking there.
    Spoiler: more failure in the offing
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    But I am pretty sure that I can't sell the dragon soul creation since nowhere can I find the CR of a dragon soul to support my (vain) plea with.

    * I am no longer allowed to create a simulacrum of a Deva (originally summoned via a cleric spell). The simulacrum then plays a song by the band Angel (Don't Leave Me Lonely) over and over again, as though it were on an 8 track tape.
    Spoiler: True Confessions
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    I once owned that album, but it was on vinyl, not 8 track tape. I also once saw that band live; they opened for Styx. And as a DM, I had that song playing in the background when an angel appeared as part of a quest ... please don't hate me ...


    @LordTorath: I feel your pain.
    Last edited by KorvinStarmast; 2021-06-15 at 01:03 PM.
    Avatar by linklele. How Teleport Works
    a. Malifice (paraphrased):
    Rulings are not 'House Rules.' Rulings are a DM doing what DMs are supposed to do.
    b. greenstone (paraphrased):
    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!
    Second known member of the Greyview Appreciation Society

  5. - Top - End - #215
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Torath View Post
    *** I may not True Polymorph a dead rat into a dead Great Wyrm Red Dragon permanently, and then butcher it for meat, dragonsscale armor, teeth, and alchemical components.
    * The value of mermaid bones will be nerfed if I start farming mermaids for crafting.
    ** The only reason I can get away with using unicorns is because they breed slower than the average duration of the game.
    *** Yup, still not allowed to put DwarfFortress references in D&D games.

  6. - Top - End - #216
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    …Are mermaid bones worth anything? I mean, I guess human bones wouldn’t be totally worthless if you know the right people to sell to so…
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  7. - Top - End - #217
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    …Are mermaid bones worth anything? I mean, I guess human bones wouldn’t be totally worthless if you know the right people to sell to so…
    In Dwarf Fortress, mermaid bones were worth a fair bit when mermaids were first introduced. Once the creator found out about people setting up seaside mermaid farms to raise and murder mermaids just for their bones, he massively dropped their value out of horror.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

  8. - Top - End - #218
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    In Dwarf Fortress, mermaid bones were worth a fair bit when mermaids were first introduced. Once the creator found out about people setting up seaside mermaid farms to raise and murder mermaids just for their bones, he massively dropped their value out of horror.
    {Scrubbed} that’s horrifying.

    Also I do remember that there was something like that in The Lives of Christopher Chant. The main character becomes aversive to salmon because of it. I do recommend the series in general, really.
    Last edited by truemane; 2021-06-17 at 07:00 AM.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  9. - Top - End - #219
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    I mean, half the game is about dismemberment and insanity anyway
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  10. - Top - End - #220
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    To be fair to the stone-dragon polymorph plan, dragons are the bards of the monster world. So what your GM is saying is that the rock is less likely to produce offspring while polymorphed.


    * I cannot put all my relationship points into having earned the Great Gold Wyrm's wrath.
    ** I cannot justify it with having stolen his backstratcher and sold it to the first criminal I met.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  11. - Top - End - #221
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    * Naming my Aarakocra Monk "Paulie", while allowed, is not encouraged.
    ** Naming him "Karl Douglas" will get things thrown at me.

    * There is no such thing as a Brown Lantern.
    ** I am not allowed to try and create one, and nobody wants to hear what emotion they would be.
    *** 'Flatulence' is not an emotion. Also, refer to the previous rule.

  12. - Top - End - #222
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Paul View Post
    ** Also, he did not invent the electric guitar.
    *** Not even if the druid can Call Lightning to power the amp.
    **** Cannot use magic lightning to power a convey of electric jeeps
    ***** Especially not if the magic drawback is "you have to talk to a devil who can try to tempt you" and he no longer wants to talk to us
    ******* Especially especially if we're looking for opportunities to taunt him

  13. - Top - End - #223
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    * My Arbitrator may realize that the Imperium has made so many laws that practically everything is illegal or outlawed on some level and thus it doesn't matter what they enforce
    ** My Arbitrator may not confiscate anything they want just so they can get food and new weapons
    *** My Arbitrator may not enforce law in a hive my just pointing their gun in random directions and firing, reasoning that the las bolts will in all likelihood hit someone who did something worthy of execution.
    **** My Arbitrator's reasoning for why my party can do illegal things while others can't may not be "they're Inquisitors, they have clearance."
    ***** May not attempt to be a "loose cannon Arbitrator who doesn't play by the rules."
    ****** How did you go through the Schola Progenium while being this corrupt!?
    ******* "Ciaphas Cain went through the same and he wasn't stock zealot Commissar either" is not an answer
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


  14. - Top - End - #224
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    * My Arbitrator may realize that the Imperium has made so many laws that practically everything is illegal or outlawed on some level and thus it doesn't matter what they enforce
    ** My Arbitrator may not confiscate anything they want just so they can get food and new weapons
    *** My Arbitrator may not enforce law in a hive my just pointing their gun in random directions and firing, reasoning that the las bolts will in all likelihood hit someone who did something worthy of execution.
    **** My Arbitrator's reasoning for why my party can do illegal things while others can't may not be "they're Inquisitors, they have clearance."
    ***** May not attempt to be a "loose cannon Arbitrator who doesn't play by the rules."
    ****** How did you go through the Schola Progenium while being this corrupt!?
    ******* "Ciaphas Cain went through the same and he wasn't stock zealot Commissar either" is not an answer
    I think someone did that once, if not in this thread. Maybe the one before? It’s not the first time I saw this one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  15. - Top - End - #225
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    Jesus Christ on a frankfurter, that’s horrifying.

    Also I do remember that there was something like that in The Lives of Christopher Chant. The main character becomes aversive to salmon because of it. I do recommend the series in general, really.
    Well then, don't look up the dwarven daycare system either.

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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Telok View Post
    Well then, don't look up the dwarven daycare system either.
    Or really anything else about Dwarf Fortress, for that matter.
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    It's the only game I know of where the stench of rotting corpses is a major game mechanic
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Telok View Post
    * The value of mermaid bones will be nerfed if I start farming mermaids for crafting.
    ** The only reason I can get away with using unicorns is because they breed slower than the average duration of the game.
    *** Yup, still not allowed to put DwarfFortress references in D&D games.
    Tangent again, but we did once have a Duergar character (he had to be from an evil civilization for the backstory to work) who had spent his entire childhood naked in a pit with various animals, beating them to death with his bare hands to become the greatest wrestler of all time.

    It was actually a fun character concept.
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    It's the only game I know of where the stench of rotting corpses is a major game mechanic
    Space Station 13. It's the only game I know where throwing rotting corpses at an enemy so they fall over vomiting and can't defend themselves is a viable tactic.
    Resident Vancian Apologist

  20. - Top - End - #230
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    * My Arbitrator may realize that the Imperium has made so many laws that practically everything is illegal or outlawed on some level and thus it doesn't matter what they enforce
    ** My Arbitrator may not confiscate anything they want just so they can get food and new weapons
    *** My Arbitrator may not enforce law in a hive my just pointing their gun in random directions and firing, reasoning that the las bolts will in all likelihood hit someone who did something worthy of execution.
    **** May not insist that what matters is for Arbitrators to shoot at people then justify which law justifying death penalty applied to the situation.
    ***** May not argue you should shoot at half of the people in the town because they "looked sightly heretical from far" even if you would rarely ever shoot non heretics that way.
    ****** Being dirty, unclean or using equipment in a state of neglect is not a 100% guaranteed proof of being heretical even if that rule works surprisingly reliably.
    Last edited by noob; 2021-06-16 at 03:16 AM.

  21. - Top - End - #231
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by noob View Post
    **** May not insist that what matters is for Arbitrators to shoot at people then justify which law justifying death penalty applied to the situation.
    ***** May not argue you should shoot at half of the people in the town because they "looked sightly heretical from far" even if you would rarely ever shoot non heretics that way.
    ****** Being dirty, unclean or using equipment in a state of neglect is not a 100% guaranteed proof of being heretical even if that rule works surprisingly reliably.
    I suspect that this is unironically and depressingly common in the canon Imperium anyways.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

  22. - Top - End - #232
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Tangent again, but we did once have a Duergar character (he had to be from an evil civilization for the backstory to work) who had spent his entire childhood naked in a pit with various animals, beating them to death with his bare hands to become the greatest wrestler of all time.

    It was actually a fun character concept.
    Did they have a direcat companion?
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    Did they have a direcat companion?
    No, but he had an irrational phobia of elves because his parents told them they were cannibals.
    Resident Vancian Apologist

  24. - Top - End - #234
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    No, but he had an irrational phobia of elves because his parents told them they were cannibals.
    Bwahahaha, serves those shifty eyed tree hugging hippies right.

    *When playing dwarven characters, may not blame elves for the worlds woe's
    **Even if I'm right
    ***May not convince the non-elven nations to declare war on the elves pre-emptively based on nothing more than my say so that they're untrustworthy, and up to no good.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

  25. - Top - End - #235
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    I'm guessing the direcat thing is a reference.
    Cool elan Illithid Slayer by linkele.

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    We also have a TvTropes page!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    I could write a lengthy explanation, but honestly just what danielxcutter said.
    Extended sig here.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    I'm guessing the direcat thing is a reference.
    The entire conversation is a reference to Dwarf Fortress. It's a very... memetic game. Because it goes deep on the simulation in ways that allows many weird interactions.
    Resident Vancian Apologist

  27. - Top - End - #237
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Mar 2010
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    Gridania, Eorzea
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    The entire conversation is a reference to Dwarf Fortress. It's a very... memetic game. Because it goes deep on the simulation in ways that allows many weird interactions.
    Dwarfs also tend to adopt cats as pets, and whole games can be lost due to cat population explosions which will crash your fps into single digits making it unplayable. Losing is Fun!
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

  28. - Top - End - #238
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    Dwarfs also tend to adopt cats as pets, and whole games can be lost due to cat population explosions which will crash your fps into single digits making it unplayable. Losing is Fun!
    No no no, the cats adopt the Dorfs. This is in fact a specific feature, as most other pets are indeed adopted by the decision of the dorf in question. It's just the cats.

  29. - Top - End - #239
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    Quote Originally Posted by Morphic tide View Post
    No no no, the cats adopt the Dorfs. This is in fact a specific feature, as most other pets are indeed adopted by the decision of the dorf in question. It's just the cats.
    Heh, didn't know about that, but then I avoided cats as much as I could for the longest time d/t playing on older computers and knowing their inherent threat to game stability.

    *May not derail yet another thread with conversation about Dwarf Fortress
    **Urist McFistbeard, does not have a prehensile beard that can make a fist shape
    ***Nor does he have an extra fist attached to his chin hidden behind his beard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
    Quote Originally Posted by kpenguin View Post
    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

  30. - Top - End - #240
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    In my library

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing 13: This Is A Banned List Not A Drinking

    To be fair, while it's been a while since I've not had a PC freeze while generating history, I remember it being pretty hard to avoid war with elves. I see no issue to getting a headstart on the inevitable.

    * There are dwarf names other then Urist.
    * My dwarf ranger must wear more than socks and cloaks.
    * The first anvil was not gifted to mortal races by Urist Uristdotter, high God of the dwarves.
    * I cannot take Phobia; Carp.


    My PC suites successfully run Gnomoria for some reason, maybe I should play the inferior version.
    Last edited by Anonymouswizard; 2021-06-16 at 02:40 PM.

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