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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Mordar's Avatar

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    Default Army of the Dead

    Perhaps this is just confirmation bias...but Army of the Dead confirmed two things for me.

    Spoiler: Spoilers?
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    Thing 1: Batista couldn't carry a movie on his own unless he was running it back to Blockbuster. Some good sequences, and I think a decent ensemble/tertiary character guy...but putting him out front was the clearest possible explanation for "Why wasn't a Drax vehicle considered?"

    Thing 2: This was a bloated, unfun, messy mess. 90% of the movie is poorly acted stereotypes, 90% of the action is meh, and 90% of the decisions were foolish. The set-up could have been much better (make it something other than money), the inevitable "real mission" could have been handled 10 minutes into the heist (...so why make a cover mission?), the death traps/strange corpses/busted helicopter all beg explanation. Strange changes in competencies, instant travel when needed...all the usual lazy action tactics. Plumped to a useless nearly 2.5 hours.

    Things I liked: Interesting idea for where Zombies come from...soundtrack was fun...a couple of the archetypal characters were good.


    I give it a solid "can I have my 2 hours and 20 minutes back, please?" with a side of "at least it was effectively free of charge other than time."

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Talakeal's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

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    Nobody worked together. They all died. Everyone failed their individual objectives. If they had just talked and worked together, they could have all lived and all accomplished their objectives.


    Second dumbest zombie movie I have ever seen.
    Looking for feedback on Heart of Darkness, a character driven RPG of Gothic fantasy.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Mordar's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Quote Originally Posted by Talakeal View Post
    Second dumbest zombie movie I have ever seen.
    Okay, I'll bite...Pun for bonus effect!
    No matter where you go...there you are!

    Holhokki Tapio - GitP Blood Bowl New Era Season I Champion
    Togashi Ishi - Betrayal at the White Temple
    Da Monsters of Da Midden - GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Season V-VI-VII

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Have to mostly agree with Mordar.

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    Like the Snyder cut of JL, this is way too bloated. There's way too much slo-mo, and the usual unrealistic gratuitous mangling of bodies with bullet. Heck, Of the first 14 minutes of the movie 7 are in slo-mo.

    For me, Batista is fine for the role he has, because it doesn't require any real acting as written. It's a lot like the Schwarzenegger films of the 80s. Acting talent isn't really why they are hired.

    I will say the decoy mission is probably how he was gonna pay them if any of them made it out. But yeah, it was really unnecessary.
    "That's a horrible idea! What time?"

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  5. - Top - End - #5
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    Starbuck_II's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Quote Originally Posted by Talakeal View Post
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    Nobody worked together. They all died. Everyone failed their individual objectives. If they had just talked and worked together, they could have all lived and all accomplished their objectives.


    Second dumbest zombie movie I have ever seen.
    Totally.
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    Technically, dude that got on plane didn't die, he was bite and will turn, but he didn't die. Did none of the stewards notice he was covered in blood/wounds?

    Why didn't army dudes in beginning drive away...why walk/run from big bad zombie?

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    The Intro already was way too long. Should have stopped right there. But was watching with my sister so I had to go through the whole 2h.

    Can only agreed with everything already said here.

    Except that no one completed his personal task. The
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    safe guy
    did, it just didn't matter in the end

    And the daughter
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    should have died. Such stupidity does not deserve to survive

  7. - Top - End - #7
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    Dragonus45's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    It was ok, needed a second editing pass at the least.
    Thanks to Linklele for my new avatar!
    If i had superpowers. I would go to conventions dressed as myself, and see if i got complimented on my authenticity.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Talakeal's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Quote Originally Posted by Mordar View Post
    Okay, I'll bite...Pun for bonus effect!
    Contracted.

    The decisions people make in that movie; its like if Dumb and Dumber were a horror film...
    Looking for feedback on Heart of Darkness, a character driven RPG of Gothic fantasy.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Hey, I just want to note that Train to Busan 2: Peninsula had a virtually identical premise to Army of the Dead (ie. survivors must return to the zombie-infested South Korean to recover $20 million in cash). It's not as good as the first Train to Busan and it does rely on a few contrivances to facilitate the plot, but it is still quite enjoyable.

    Having said that, here's the Pitch Meeting for Army of the Dead, which doesn't cover even half of the dumb crap from this movie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC1LiBBkDdo
    Last edited by Giggling Ghast; 2021-05-25 at 03:04 PM.
    A father taken by time, a brother dead by my own hand.
    With this work behold my grief, in Stone and shifting sand.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    All right.

    I'll have a go.

    Unspoiled review: one of the dumbest movie I've seen. It's dripping with Snyder's over inflated sense of symbolism and obsession with making everything a significant art moment without actually understanding why you spend 5 minutes on Important Scene X and why you let the secondary villain die a quick death scene.

    But, Snyder has got the skills for enjoyable stupid action beats. Snyder is one of the best in the business in giving your brain-dead psyche bacon to munch on, and this movie is nothing but bacon after bacon after bacon. Often it's overcooked and bloated, sometimes you just got enough of ****ing bacon, but about 70% of the time you tell yourself "hey, that bacon would be quite enjoyable on its own if the rest of the 12-course dish wasn't also bacon"

    So I had fun, and the fiancé and I had to forcefully stop ourselves from overthinking this movie, so we had the occasional good laugh.

    Spoiler
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    Batista was pretty good in his own right.

    The love interest had some chemistry with him, but their romantic plot tumor collapsed under its own flimsy weight.

    The Last Survivor and the German Vault breaker were the best part of the team, and their interaction actually carried my interest. Their character interaction was actually a nice plot arc that had a start, middle and end. But the dialogue was... Please stop writing dialogue Zack.

    The daughter's plot was disjointed and contrived.

    The pilot was cool, but only because I love Tig Notaro and her snark with all fiber of my being

    The Corporate Stooge was pointless. Curse your Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal. Seriously, you had the gall to call it out in-story and you still went with the straight betrayal?! There's a reason lampshade hanging does not a good trope make on its own.

    The guide woman was badly under developed. Shes a survivor, until she has a conscience. Yhea, it's fine, we can't have the cute white woman be an actual self interested mercenary.

    I am not even sure what was the point of the gangbuster guy.

    Also, what the hell was it with "these people are us from another timeline". Was this from a cut plot summary where the entire movie is revealed to be a video game challenge?!


  11. - Top - End - #11
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    I thought the movie was okay. Not great, but not terrible. I will say there is a caveat to that. I will watch just about any zombie movie I come across at least once. And there are a lot of trash zombie movies. So my bar for "acceptable" in a zombie movie (or horror in general) is fairly low. So having said that, this is definitely a movie where you shouldn't give it too much thought. My main thought through most of it was, "why isn't there more zombie action?". I will say my main issue was the same one I have with Resident Evil. Why does anyone want the ability to make a zombie army* aside from kickstarting the apocalypse? In their respective universes, they are clearly a potentially world ending event waiting to happen. I would somewhat understand if it left everything intact and just took out the people, but these things always end in tremendous destruction (sometimes total).

    I thought Batista did okay. He's likely never going to win best actor at the Academy, but he does okay as long as he stays in his range.

    *I know the zombies are actually a byproduct in RE and it's the other creatures that are meant to be the sellable bio weapons, but zombies seem to always occur.

  12. - Top - End - #12
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    Tyndmyr's Avatar

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    Default Re: Army of the Dead

    Looks like my original review got eaten by the forum, so here goes.

    This is peak Snyder. From all the micro-backstories at the start to the great cut scenes, to the plot that doesn't really make sense and gets absurdly serious at points for no reason whatsoever. It's not all bad. But it's a lot better to watch free streaming than in a theater. That way you can have a snack break when it's getting ridiculous.

    The premise is really cool, honestly....buuut.
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    A lot of actions and motivations don't make any kind of sense. I get that it's a zombie movie, and as such, tropes allow a certain amount of stupid characters.

    But the thing about that is, if you do that, you *have* to kill the stupid characters. The audience wants to see them die, and if stupid characters get to just keep being stupid, and suffer no consequences, your world starts seeming less dangerous. The tropes demand that in zombie movies the traitor, the idiot, and the guy who hide a bite all die. They get to cause complications first, but they absolutely do not live.

    Character failure #1: The daughter. She insists on coming because of random woman we barely see, and as an audience, don't really care about. She insists that if not allowed to come, she'll go on her own and surely die. The logical solution here is to stuff her on a bus or have someone guard her outside the wall, because there is absolutely no way that she won't bork the mission up if allowed to come. They get her to promise to not, but uh, she's already shown she'll do anything to get her way, so that seems pointless. Obviously, she is useless the entire mission, actively detracts at several points, and then with about five minutes left, strikes out on a side solo quest that gets everyone killed, including the person she apparently desperately wants to save, but whom she stops caring about instantly after seeing her again. Her character is awful, and she doesn't fit the movie, and there's not really much reason anyone else would go along with her on anything.

    Also, having repeated "touching moments" so the big bad guy can catch up with them is annoying. Have that father/daughter talk in the chopper on the way out. Or in a slow moment that doesn't scream stupidity AND break up the flow of the action.

    Character failure #2: The traitor. So, his goal is to just get the zombie woman's head, right? He could have done that in the first five minutes with zero risk, and without betraying a single character. The shady secret plan, previous missions is cool, and could have worked into something awesome, but his actions really don't fit his goal. Hell, his actions don't fit the world, even. We see him lock everyone in the casino a few floors up, tell them he's going to the roof to get to the chopper, climb up several flights of stairs and ladders and then...wander outside on the ground level to die. What? He has literally no reason to be there, and there's no reasonable way he could take that path to get to his goal.

    Side Note: The pilot is awesome. Every step of the way. It's a shame she doesn't get a better fate.

    Random Nitpickery:
    Time it takes to turn varies immensely. Sometimes it's five seconds. In one notable, plot relevant case, it's an entire day.

    If you are in a helicopter, and the blast wave of a nuclear bomb hits you, you die. Sorry, you don't just tank the nuclear blast.

    That beeping sound is generally a stall indicator. If you stall a helicopter while travelling maximum speed thirty feet off the ground, you also die, because you pretty rapidly slam into the ground. I'm going to write this up to general aircraft idiocy, like having the dials spin all the way around randomly, which also isn't a thing that happens, because that's not how dials work.

    It is very apparent in many shots that all of the packs/gas tanks are empty. Not only are they bouncing lightly as characters walk over things, you can actually see through the gas tanks. There's no liquid inside. Once you see this, it's really hard to unsee.

    They probably don't actually need Lily on the team, because the youtuber guy has been here killing zombies frequently, that's his shtick. I don't know why his minions have never actually seen zombies before and are shocked, it seems obvious what's gonna go down. Character is fun otherwise, but that bit doesn't fit.

    They also didn't actually pack that much gas. We will generously call them five gallon cans, and assume that all of them made it to the heli save for the two shown fueling the entire casino's power for hours, and the one they use as a bomb. The Casino power thing is probably dodgy as hell, but yknow, I'll skip it for now. That leaves what, five cans? Maaaaybe? That's around 10% of a Huey's 220 gallon tank. A Huey gets slightly over 1 mile per gallon. This *might* be enough to barely clear the wall and gtfo, or at least be close enough to be excusable for getting out of nuke range, but flying around the city, loitering in the air, all the trouble starting it repeatedly, the heli fire....Naw. Ya'll ran out of gas LONG before then.

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