Tarmor's Terribly Tantalizing Tarasque Terrrifying Random Banter #234

[Jasdoif]

The lack of crab DNA in the mix would present a problem with that possibility.

Hm....Which entities "in the mix" aren't subject to carcinization? Focusing on creatures that won't become crabs might be less crabby risky than becoming a creature that's partially crab....

[Peelee]

I considered crabdragons, but looking at them all known varieties of crabdragon tend to sacrifice aspects of being a dragon in favor of crab aspects.

They range from giant monstrous crabs with dragonlike traits to dragons with crab-limbs replacing two or more of the dragon's limbs.

there's one that looked like a proper mix of crab and dragon, but it also looked kind of... Funky.

Separate crab and dragon forms would be preferable, I think.

The clear solution is to be a heretofore unknown variety of crabdragon.

[Fyraltari]

Keep in mind that my current plan for becoming a dragon involves tearing a hole in the fabric of reality, traveling to a fictional universe, injecting myself with the stolen blood of two supervillains, two people who are generally thought of as villains but are kind of all over the place, and one anti-hero, a process that could do anything from turn me into a dragon outright to turn me into a Shoggoth to turn me into a minor deity depending on how the different bloods interact to each other and my own biology.

Then, if the results are favorable and don't turn me into a dragon outright, committing a hell of a lot of alien-cannibalism.

I see no flaw in this plan.

[DavidSh]

Hm....Which entities "in the mix" aren't subject to carcinization? Focusing on creatures that won't become crabs might be less crabby risky than becoming a creature that's partially crab....

There's no reason to believe that anything other than an arthropod is subject to carcinization. In fact, all examples I have seen described are crustaceans.

[Rater202]

Hm....Which entities "in the mix" aren't subject to carcinization? Focusing on creatures that won't become crabs might be less crabby risky than becoming a creature that's partially crab....

Im not saying that the entities in the mix aren't subject to carcinization, I am saying that using the bio-logical material of entities that are not at this time crablike is unlikely to make me crablike in and of itself.

Though, for the sake of completness

Spoiler: The entities in question

Show

, The most important is Unsterblich: A Oneshot villain from Captain America: Hail Hydra, a miniseries showing several encounters with HYDRA's "Infinitas agenda," an attempt by HYDRa, and before them several other organizations, to achieve immortality, find a means of raising the dead, and developing a means of manufacturing Gods.

Unsterblich was a HYDRA loyalist who was injected with the blood of Captain America, Thor, samples of preserved blood belonging to Achilles and Hector that was crabbed from Achille's spear(Hector, in the Marvel universe, is implied to be some kind of superhuman, though his origin and the nature of his powers is unspecified) and several unnamed others.

The scientists who enhanced him called him a God, but the full extent of biology, powers, and metaphysical nature isn't clarified. What's known is that 1: His own physical abilities are superior to those of Captain America but inferior to those of Thor and 2: By being injected with Captain America's blood, his own blood contains Dr. Erksine's perfect Super Soldier Serum.

And Super Soldier Serum can and will incorporate foreign genetic material, biochemistry, and so on into a subject if it makes the subject more "perfect" than what the serum by itself is capable of. It's kind of how this villain gained his powers in the first place, after all—the mixture of the serum and God Blood giving him literally godlike phyisology—though based on a few AU stories it should do a more complete job with alien or superhuman biology than it did with God Biology

This serves two purposes: It would fix everything wrong with my body—my myopia and astigmatism, my arthritis, my weight problem, if there's a chemical reason why I have trouble regarding my appetite and feeling full from meals, it'll fix that. My allergies and chronic sinusitis, my chronic headaches, my light sensitivity... Sometimes I think my hearing in one ear is wors than the other, it'd fix that. Blemishes? Probably fix that, too.

And it would allow me to incorporate the biological traits of any of the blood I'm injecting myself with.

The peak human conditioning and possibiity of gaining some or all of he godlike traits that Unsterblich himself gained are both bonuses in this scenario.

The seocnd blood sample would be a sample of he Blood of Acpolcpypse... The Literal Blood of en Sabah Nur, which he's extracte an stashed away in vat all of the world after discovering that his blood had healing powers durng an enconter with Dracula. He's use it in a couple of schemes, but most of his bases are abodnned when he's not suing them, shold be easy to just steal it.

Apcoalypse is an enhanced Human Mutant high-level non-terrestrial shapeshifter who can control his phyisology at a molecular level and both consciously and instinctively regulate his normally involntary bodily functions, similar to what happens to people who undergo biofeedback training but to extremes. He aslo posesses genetic adaption, which allows him to develop new powers in response to stimuli and absorb foreing genetic material into hmimself—this happen acrpsimately 100 years ago when he was infected with the Techno-Organic Virus and every time he takes over someone els's body adn converts it into himself.

His blood specifically adapts itself to match the body of anyone it's transfused into.

These properites would mean that if the Serum incorperates His DNA into myself, it would make the other blood smamples incoperate much more easily. Nur's other powers are either bonuses, or complimentary to the powers of later samples in this list.

The third can be one of two people: Either Mystique, or her son from the future Raze. The truth is, Mystique's eternal youth, shapeshifting, and adaption powers are almost completley redundant with Apcaolupse's similar powers. Her absility to instantly copy and permenantly memorize othe rpeople's apeparnaces down to imperceptible details like finger prints and retnial shapes and copy voices after five words of natural dialog are useful, but...

Mostly, she's here becuase unlike Apocalypse, she's explicitly incapable of experiance dysphoria or dysmorphia of any kind. No matter what form she's in, it feels perfectly natural and she adjusts to it seeminlessly. No sensation that it's wrong, no irrational obsession with perceived flaws. Apocalyppse is probably the same, but it's not stated.

Since this involves many drastic and subtle changes to my physiology, I feel like the insurance is nessesary.

(Raze poeesess the same powers as his mother, but stronger, as well as Wolverine's healing factor and claws. Note: This makes Raze the only one of Mystique's children to have inherited her powers: Graydon Creed was inexplicably born an ordinary human despite having two mutant parents while Charles Xavier jr. and Nightcrawler have their fathers' respective powers but not their mother's)

Next is Doctor Karlin Malus. A man obsessed with giving himself super powers, he's most famous for being the "science guy" behind the various Power Brokers. Eventually, after being eaten alive by Carnage, he was able to study Klyntar biology from the inside, "gestate" within Carnage, and eventually escape having turned himsef into a Human-Klyntar hybrid.

He posesses all of the traits of a Symbiote bonded to a human host, except that obviously the symbiote paert can't be seperated from the human part. Presumably he also hass Spider-Powers, since his symbiote half is derived from Carnage, but this is not specified.

This should logically include the ability to absorb other symbiotes, or parts of them, to grow stronger or gain new abilities.

Finally, we come to Eddie Brock: While biologically an ordianry human, his blood contains the gneetic material of at least nine symbiotes: Venom, Mania, Anti-Venom, Toxin, Sleeper, Tyranosaurus, Legion, The Extrembiote, and Dark Carnage. His blood may also contain traces of the orignal Carnage, which was once absorbed and killed by Venom only to regenrate from Cletus's blood and merge with the second Carnage later, and the Dream Stone symbiote which started out as Dark Elf magic doing it's best to imitate the Venom Symbiote before tunring into a Venom-themed Thor knock-off.

In adidtion, Legion is composed of Codices of Venom, Carnage, Sleeper, Riot, Lasher, Agony, Phage, Dreadface, an unnamed Agent of the Cosmos, and Goblin Childe extacted from several people and explicitly has the combined powers of ti's compoent symbiotes and the people it's compoents were extracted from, while Dark Carnage is a composite of peices of The Grendel combined Caranges I, II, and III which then went on to abosrb Scorn, Mania, a dozen Weapon V Symbiotes, and at least one Codex from every sybiote that's ever been on Earth.

The specific combination of Unsterblich's blood, Apocalypse's Blood, and Malus' blood should mean that I am a ridciulously adaptable human-symbiote Hybrid(Well, Mutant-Symbiote Hybrid) and absorb the traces of symbiote in Eddie's blood, which would normally result in temporarily absorbing the powers of the Symbiotes in question, but between the serum and Apocalypse's own ability to absorb and adapt to DNA... Not to mention that one of Legion's components was modified with Haze Mancer's tech, which accelerae'sa symbiote's ability to evolve and adapt, I should begin to rapidly recreate all of the powers of those symbiotes.

Several of those symbiotes are derived from Syymbiote dragons, while the Extrembiote is a symbiote dragon, so this shouldmake me into a human-symbiote dragon hybrid. Between Dark Carnage, Anti-Venom, and the portions of Goblin Childe in Legion I should be able both breath and manipulte fire while being impervious, r at least, not specifically weak, to all known symbiote weaknesses.

In the event that this combination of powers does not allow me to assume full dragon form, The Extrembiote posessed the ability to manipulate symbiote biomass due to combining symbiote's natural psyhcic and empathetic abilities with the technopathy nand cyberpathy of the Extremis Virus and the computational power of an Iron Man suit. This should combine with the technopathic abilities of Scorn(who is part of Dark Carnage) and the Telepathy, Technopathy, Cyberpathy, and Telekinetic abilities of Apocalypse to drastiically magnify those functions.

I should be able to just pluck codices out of people withut harming them and then abordb them as needed.

First tarets: Devil Dinosaur, Fin-Fang Foom, and Todd Ziller

Respectively, a mutant Tyranosaurus-like therpod with enhanced intelligence, super strength, and sometimes the ability to breathe fire, dependng on the writer. Posessed by a Haze Mancer modifed agent of the cosmos during Venoized.

Fin-Fang Foom, massive shapeshifting aline whose true form is a combination of Western and Easter dragon traits, his people are considered "dragons" in metaphysical terms, who was "Knullified" and sent to attack Asgard during King in Black(as depicted in Beta-Ray Bill #1)

Todd Ziller is a soldier who volntered to be the next Captain America. As the Governmen was unable to perfectly recreate the Super Soldier Serum, Todd was adminstered an Incomplete Serum combined with Pym Particles, Mutant Growth hormone, The Connor's formula, and Gamma Ray treatments.

This as anyone with a brain could have predicted predictably, turned him into a giant radiactive mutant lizard with absolutly reidiculous physical aributes..
He was depowered after his first mission, but went AWOL and had his powers restored with an injection of "Monster Formula" that seems to have given him the abilty to transfomr at will

Apparently he was rienstated at some point, becuase During King in Black that had him change into his Kaiju Form and eat a couple of symbiote dragons... At bare minimum he's got some codices, though the symbiotes might actually still be alive in his system biding their time.

If that doens't work... I could just sit and weight becuase there's well ovr a thousand indivudlas I'd have the DNA of(Symbiotes have infinite capacity to store biological iformation) and advanced levels of adaption and personal evolution, so presumably ventually... Or I could just seek out other codices to get stronger..

Or I could just be content with being a very powerful shapshifting eldritch half-dragon.

@DavdSh: We're mostly joking arond.

Though, amdittedly an amphibous alt-form would be useful to have just in case, and the crab body type is very efficient and evolutionarily successful.

[Peelee]

Im not saying that the entities in the mix aren't subject to carcinization, I am saying that using the bio-logical material of entities that are not at this time crablike is unlikely to make me crablike in and of itself.

I dunno, depending on how it affects your mood you could be pretty crabby afterwards.

[Rater202]

I dunno, depending on how it affects your mood you could be pretty crabby afterwards.

Well, the process involves the Super Soldier Serum.

And while the movie depicted it as painful, in the comics the process of being broken down and rebuilt by the serum apparently feels good.

As does being bonded to a symbiote, being infused with Cosmic power, and mutant powers activating for the first time(though the fact that it takes a second or two to resign in mutant powers means this might be a mixed bag.)

And just having powers that give you enhanced condition--strength, stamina, toughness, heath.

A recurring theme in Spider-Island was people talking about how great it felt to have Spider-Man's powers. Just having them feels good. Hercules, who was rendered effectively a mortal human at the time, said that having Spider-Powers made him feel like a God again. He considered using them to return to Olympus ad retake his place as God of Strength and Athleticism, but the thought of abandoning Manhattan, where he'd been living for months, during a crisis was not something he could stomach.

Spider-Island kind of explores the "with great power" motif. Everyone in Manhattan gets the power...But who accepts the responsibility?

In general, unless your powers have harmful side effects, having and using powers seems to feel good.

[enderlord99]

Based on your brief description of Doctor Karlin Malus, you probably wouldn't need any of his blood because you'd already be basically him anyway.

Oh, wait, you don't want his original blood. You want his blood after successfully getting powers (when Carnage vored him). Never mind.

[Jasdoif]

Im not saying that the entities in the mix aren't subject to carcinization, I am saying that using the bio-logical material of entities that are not at this time crablike is unlikely to make me crablike in and of itself.

But what exactly is it that you're worried about making you crablike, to the extent that you feel the need to make a note to have some temporary crabification in an attempt to avert it?

I seriously doubt it'd be something deliberate on your part, like going through the TigerSharks' Fish Tank; so I'm imagining the scenario is that all life has some sort of latent crab-ousity that will manifest itself over time until actual crab-ness results.

In which case...Mixing several varieties of specially reactive substances from living creatures, each of which will themselves have a latent crab factor, seems likely to drastically increase crab-ability; each substance will of course have achieved equilibrium with its corresponding entity's own specific case of idle crabbity, but every other substance (and the base body) will be a foreign source of crabiddity that the hypermimetic powers that are the entire purpose of this exercise would react to. And like you said, there's no crab DNA involved so whatever crabdigenous cap you're aiming to outsmart hasn't occurred yet to prevent this from occurring; even in the looks-supremely-unlikely-to-me case that does work that way.

You may well become the crabbiest crab to ever crab, the crab of crabkind.

[Rater202]

Based on your brief description of Doctor Karlin Malus, you probably wouldn't need any of his blood because you'd already be basically him anyway.

Oh, wait, you don't want his original blood. You want his blood after successfully getting powers (when Carnage vored him). Never mind.

Yes.

I would specifically need the blood, or other bio-material, of a successful human-Symbiote Hybrid.

Otherwise... I mean, Captain America has been possessed by Symbiotes more than once and the Serum didn't combine the traces they left behind with his body at any point despite the Serum periodically reapplying itself. I need an example of a proper combination to use as a template.

Without Malus, this procedure would just turn me into a Slightly Stronger Apocalypse...

Which would be a good second option, but still.

[halfeye]

Roaches are weird.

As far as I can tell, they can only spread human-infectious diseases if they were just recently on top of something carrying it, and they evolved to eat waste products and garbage.

It is pretty much impossible for humans to kill them by accident.

In other words, they evolved to perfectly coexist with humans...

But they look icky and are inconvenient in modern homes, especially in large numbers, so our instinct is to try and destroy them.

Cockroaches don't just look icky, they also add a flavour that people don't like to foods that the roaches want to eat, it's like the "this is mine, I spat on it" food property defence sometimes seen in schools and other institutions, without the legal ownership, and weaponised.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm going to The Proms on Monday!

Yes, actual culture. I'll make sure to grab a beer in the interval so I don't come out too highbrow.

[Peelee]

I'm going to The Proms on Monday!

Yes, actual culture. I'll make sure to grab a beer in the interval so I don't come out too highbrow.

I'm going to guess there is something lost in translation between our Englishes here. What is The Proms over there?

[Rater202]

I'm going to guess there is something lost in translation between our Englishes here. What is The Proms over there?

So I literally just googled it: The Proms is a relatively inexpensive classical music concert.

[Peelee]

So I literally just googled it: The Proms is a relatively inexpensive classical music concert.

I am aware that google exists, but I usually prefer to not use it if I'm trying to engage in conversation, since that works at cross-purposes.

[enderlord99]

I am aware that google exists, but I usually prefer to not use it if I'm trying to engage in conversation, since that works at cross-purposes.

I was previously told, in an older version of this thread, to "use Google, rather than asking annoying questions" alongside some insults, when my question wasn't easily Google-able in the first place (because it was "what style of art is your avatar drawn in" or something like that) but now an actual, active mod is telling me they prefer not to use Google when conversing. Why am I disallowed from asking questions without Googling first whereas everyone else is allowed?

To be absolutely clear: I searched Google for both "why am I worthless" and "how can I tell if a question is annoying" and neither one gave usable answers; the former did provide links to a hotline of some sort, but I'm not going to call it because I'm not currently depressed.

[Peelee]

I was previously told, in an older version of this thread, to "use Google, rather than asking annoying questions" alongside some insults, when my question wasn't easily Google-able in the first place (because it was "what style of art is your avatar drawn in" or something like that) but now an actual, active mod is telling me they prefer not to use Google when conversing. Why am I disallowed from asking questions without Googling first whereas everyone else is allowed?

Let me put on my fancy mod hat for this one.

You are not disallowed from asking questions without Googling first. Others may inject their opinion on the value of Googling vs asking, but you are completely free to agree or disagree with their opinions. If anyone openly tells you to stop asking questions, please report the post for moderator review.

Now, all that being said, my own personal opinion was as previously stated. I absolutely do Google a lot of stuff I read on these forums, and relatively frequently will do a quick and dirty Google before I hit the submit button on a post where I'm making actual claims, but I do prefer to just ask even when a search would suffice when I think it makes for decent banter. Such as in this specific case, where I got to make a joke about a translation error between English and English.

[enderlord99]

Let me put on my fancy mod hat for this one.

You are absolutely not disallowed from asking questions without Googling first. Others may inject their opinion on the value of Googling vs asking, but you are completely free to agree or disagree with their opinions.

Oh, that's a relief. Thanks!

If anyone openly tells you to stop asking questions, please report the post for moderator review.

The post was over 8 years and 30 threads ago, but okay, I'll dig it up and report.

[Anonymouswizard]

So I literally just googled it: The Proms is a relatively inexpensive classical music concert.

Correction, it's six weeks of relatively inexpensive classical music concerts.

[Lacco]

Crabdragon sound like a Pokemon name.

Cragon?

Crabgon?

Drab?

Dragrab?

Possibillities are relatively endless...well, not really. Finite amount of combinations.

I see no flaw in this plan.

I do not see one flaw im the abovementioned plan.

I am aware that google exists, but I usually prefer to not use it if I'm trying to engage in conversation, since that works at cross-purposes.

Well, conversations is why some of us are here. And asking question usually helps.

Also, been told that people actually learn fastest when exchanging information and discussing topics. But can't remember by whom.

ION: The annual teamrafting of my team is next weekend. Excitement is rising, so far only one team member stated they will not be joining. Fun fun fuuuuun! Hope we survive, last one was rather difficult (water level: low, spirit level: high). Still, teamrafting!!!

[Rater202]

I am aware that google exists, but I usually prefer to not use it if I'm trying to engage in conversation, since that works at cross-purposes.

And I was participating in the conversation: I googled the term to find out what it was, then you asked about it, so I shared the results of my attempt at research.

[enderlord99]

And I was participating in the conversation: I googled the term to find out what it was, then you asked about it, so I shared the results of my attempt at research.

I am also participating in the conversation, by pointing out how meta-referential it is getting.

It also seems to be slightly condescending at this point, but I can't tell for sure.

[Rater202]

I am also participating in the conversation, by pointing out how meta-referential it is getting.

It also seems to be slightly condescending at this point, but I can't tell for sure.

That is not intentional on my part.

---

Changing topics: It makes me very happy that this is a thing that exists.

[enderlord99]

That is not intentional on my part.

What wasn't intentional: the self-reference or the possible mild condescension? Both?

[Rater202]

What wasn't intentional: the self-reference or the possible mild condescension? Both?

Can we not do this?

I'm going to say "the condescension" but there's really no way I can answer that without the text response, lacking verbal or body language-based markers, does not in and of itself seem condescending, and that's just gonna get us stuck in a feedback loop.

[enderlord99]

Can we not do this?

Not do what?

I'm going to say "the condescension" but there's really no way I can answer that without the text response, lacking verbal or body language-based markers, does not in and of itself seem condescending, and that's just gonna get us stuck in a feedback loop.

Oh, that. Okay.

[Bartmanhomer]

I'm so glad that I'm no longer free sad anymore and I'm happy that I don't cause any drama on Youtube anymore.

[Peelee]

I'm so glad that I'm no longer free sad anymore and I'm happy that I don't cause any drama on Youtube anymore.

Ya know, people who tend to not cause or enjoy drama tend to never really talk about drama. You talk about it a lot.

[Bartmanhomer]

Ya know, people who tend to not cause or enjoy drama tend to never really talk about drama. You talk about it a lot.

True but I try to avoid it as much as possible.

[Keltest]

True but I try to avoid it as much as possible.

Given how often you seem to find yourself at the heart of drama, i would suggest you might need to improve your technique.