Tarmor's Terribly Tantalizing Tarasque Terrrifying Random Banter #234

[Mystic Muse]

if its on youtube, then scroll over the vertical three dot thing next to it, click on it and scroll down to "Not Interested" and click on that option. blocks the video instantly.

Oh I know. I usually just block the entire channel.

The more we talk the more awesome you get. It's remarkably consistent.

Pfffft. Thanks, that brightened my day a little.

[Rater202]

So... I'm just gonna flat out ask it.

If someone offered you Professor Erskine's perfected Super-Soldier Serum, no cost, no strings attached, would you take it?

Quoting from Steve Roger's 616 entry from the Marvel database, citations removed for the sake of formatting but if you want to double-check here's a link. I've also fixed some grammar errors and added context.

Spoiler

Show

The Super-Soldier Serum (SSS) metabolized and permanently enhanced all of Rogers' bodily functions to the peak of human efficiency, and is the most perfect human in existence. Dr. Abraham Erskine has stated Rogers' enhanced condition is "second to none," and described its potential as being "the next step in human evolution," while still remaining completely human, but often called the "perfect man." Nick Fury's intel classified him as Power Level 8.

Artificially Enhanced Physiology: Rogers' enhanced physiology has no superhuman powers, although as a result of the Super-Soldier Serum, he was transformed from a frail young man into a "perfect" specimen of human development and conditioning. He is classified as an enhanced human. He possesses powers superior to any Olympic-level athlete that has ever competed. Also, the Super-Soldier Serum physiology is definite, meaning that if Rogers choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle, none of his powers would weaken, and the Super-Soldier Serum in his bloodstream will keep him in top physical form. Dr. Keith Kincaid theorized that as long as some of the serum remains in Rogers' body, it would be able to reproduce itself and sustain Rogers' powers.

Peak Human Strength: Rogers' physical strength is enhanced to the very peak of human potential, making him consistently able to sustain lifts 800 lbs (363 kg), and bench pressing 1,100 pounds (500 kg) as a warm-up.

Peak Human Speed: Rogers can move at speeds equal to that of the absolute finest human athlete, being capable of running at a sustained 30 mph (48 kph); He was able to complete a 40-yard dash in 3.82 seconds, or a mile "in just over a minute."
Peak Human Durability:Rogers' durability is amplified to the highest human potential making him very durable. This has allowed him to survive many forms of extensive punishment throughout his career that would injure an ordinary human.

Peak Human Agility: Rogers' agility is amplified to the highest human potential.

Peak Human Reflexes: Rogers' reflexes are amplified to the highest human potential, and he is said to have a reaction time ten times faster than a normal person. He has been shown to dodge gunfire from multiple shooters simultaneously.

Peak Human Stamina: Rogers' body automatically eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing chemicals in his muscles; giving him exceptional endurance. He could also resist the freezing cold waters of the Arctic, as not only did he survive being frozen for decades, he also spent time searching for D-Man.(Rater's edit: D-Man was lost in the arctic, Cap spent an extended amount of time looking for him without issue.)

Peak Healing Recovery: Rogers' healing speed and efficiency are enhanced to peak ability, meaning he heals faster than the average person. The white blood cells and Super-Soldier Serum in his body are efficient enough to fight off most microbes, foreign bodies, and other pathogens from his body, giving him a high immunity to all infections and diseases. Rogers has stated his metabolism is too fast for alcohol. He is also more resistant to knockout and hypnotic suggestion(edit: Than the average person), though is not immune.

Peak Human Mental Processing: Rogers' mental performance is greatly enhanced allowing it to operate in the most advanced and rapid manner possible. His mind also processes information quickly, giving him an accelerated learning aptitude; for example, Beast once stated that Rogers can learn and master any weapon within seconds. He possesses an eidetic/photographic memory and perfect recall, meaning he never forgets what he sees and experiences, paired with the ability to speed read, and can thereby intuitively understand what's likely going to happen and how best to deal with it. This enables him to remember any military tactic and apply it to any situation.

Peak Human Senses: Rogers' senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are enhanced to the highest limits of human potential.

Advanced Longevity: The Super-Soldier Serum halts Rogers' aging due to perfect cells. This was tested when he spent many decades in Earth-69901 and its numerous divergent realities while fighting against Korvac's galactic empire, repeatedly dying and having time rewound, before ultimately being returned to his own time, as well as spending twelve years in Dimension Z, before being returned to Earth the same day with no noticeable signs of aging.

This is what someone offers you. No cost, no drawbacks, no strings attached. Do you take it?

[Anonymouswizard]

First question: where's the catch?

Seriously, without a catch that just isn't an interesting question.

[Peelee]

So... I'm just gonna flat out ask it.

If someone offered you Professor Erskine's perfected Super-Soldier Serum, no cost, no strings attached, would you take it?

Quoting from Steve Roger's 616 entry from the Marvel database, citations removed for the sake of formatting but if you want to double-check here's a link. I've also fixed some grammar errors and added context.

This is what someone offers you. No cost, no drawbacks, no strings attached. Do you take it?

I'm at work and simply don't have the time to read through that spoiler, so I'm going to go by what I've seen in the movies (well, the ones I've seen and heard of). And I'm going to say yeah, I totally would. Great gains, no drawbacks, nothing I know of that I would be philosophically opposed to for myself.

Shoot me up, doc.

[Fyraltari]

Okay that quote, was low-key hilarious throughout, but I want to highlight this:

"Dr. Keith Kincaid theorized that as long as some of the serum remains in Rogers' body, it would be able to reproduce itself"

That's not a serum. That's a symbiote.

[tomandtish]

The more interesting thing would be determining how long a person in peak health all the time can actually live. 120? 150? Longer?

[Fyraltari]

The more interesting thing would be determining how long a person in peak health all the time can actually live. 120? 150? Longer?

I think we went over this a couple days ago: if you are in "perefect health" you can't die of old age since that wouldn't be healthy.

[Rater202]

First question: where's the catch?

Seriously, without a catch that just isn't an interesting question.

I don't know, some people are oposed to eternal youth or being objectively better than other people in some capacity without earning it.

I'm at work and simply don't have the time to read through that spoiler, so I'm going to go by what I've seen in the movies (well, the ones I've seen and heard of). And I'm going to say yeah, I totally would. Great gains, no drawbacks, nothing I know of that I would be philosophically opposed to for myself.

Shoot me up, doc.

The movies make it different. The movies make him actually superhuman, nix the eternal youth, and add a Drawback: It amplifies your personality traits to an absurd degree. Makes you "more yourself." If you've got mostly good traits, that's not a problem... But we see in Falcon and The Winter Soldier what happens when well-meaning but flawed "normal" people get the serum and it's not pretty.

We see in The Falcon and Winter Soldier what the serum and its derivatives do to a normal man, somebody with both good and bad personality traits: They become unstable and their moods start swinging all.

The comics don't have that. Unless the serum is defective, but we're assuming a perfect serum.

Okay that quote, was low-key hilarious throughout, but I want to highlight this:

"Dr. Keith Kincaid theorized that as long as some of the serum remains in Rogers' body, it would be able to reproduce itself"

That's not a serum. That's a symbiote.

To be fair: One of the few know ingredients of the serum is some kind of viral agent.

Also, I'm pretty sure that Erskine was secretly an alchemist becuase the way the Serum is described and the effects it has on the body legitimately sounds like alchemy. The Serum has effects identical to the Forever compound, the most potent known version of the Elixir of Life.

The more interesting thing would be determining how long a person in peak health all the time can actually live. 120? 150? Longer?

Until something kills you or fully purges the serum from your system. Theoretically forever.

The serum gives you eternal youth in addition to perfect health, perfect condition, and functioning as a panacea.

[Fyraltari]

First question: where's the catch?

Seriously, without a catch that just isn't an interesting question.

You are turned into a mascot for your local military-industrial complex for propaganda purposes.

And you have to wear a suit without your nation's flag incorpored into the design.

[Peelee]

The movies make it different.....

[snip]

Until something kills you or fully purges the serum from your system. Theoretically forever.

Ah. Then I'll change to "nope."

[Form]

The movies make it different. The movies make him actually superhuman, nix the eternal youth, and add a Drawback: It amplifies your personality traits to an absurd degree. Makes you "more yourself." If you've got mostly good traits, that's not a problem... But we see in Falcon and The Winter Soldier what happens when well-meaning but flawed "normal" people get the serum and it's not pretty.

We see in The Falcon and Winter Soldier what the serum and its derivatives do to a normal man, somebody with both good and bad personality traits: They become unstable and their moods start swinging all.

Aw, crap. That means I probably shouldn't take it. I'd want to, but I'm not eager to see how my less than stellar personality traits get magnified.

And you have to wear a suit without your nation's flag incorpored into the design.

I'm assuming you mean with.

Ugh, gaudy. That does it. I'm out.

[Rater202]

Aw, crap. That means I probably shouldn't take it. I'd want to, but I'm not eager to see how my less than stellar personality traits get magnified.

The version we're talking about doesn't do that, only the MCU version.

[Form]

The version we're talking about doesn't do that, only the MCU version.

So, no downsides then? Sure, I'd take it. Assuming I also don't have to wear my nation's flag as a costume.

[Peelee]

So, no downsides then? Sure, I'd take it. Assuming I also don't have to wear my nation's flag as a costume.

No love for the Principality of Sealand?

[Anonymouswizard]

You are turned into a mascot for your local military-industrial complex for propaganda purposes.

And you have to wear a suit without your nation's flag incorpored into the design.

Now that's a question with answering?

Country of nationality, country of residence, or country of ancestry? Because the Union Flag will look better on me than anything involving green.

So, no downsides then? Sure, I'd take it. Assuming I also don't have to wear my nation's flag as a costume.

Yeah, this is why I said it's a boring question. Assuming you're okay with having a lifespan in the low hundreds before dying to an accident there's no reason not to.

I'll admit that some people don't want a life that long, but at this point it basically just becomes the immortality argument. If you're fine with the potentially eternal most likely not life part of the fall there's no reason to turn it down.


My brain is now stuck on the idea of an Exalted/WoD (either version)/Fate mashup. Seven mortals from the modern day manage to summon Exalted as Servants, probably mostly Solars and Abyssals, and fight for the Holy Grail. Which is of course really a means devised by the Ebon Dragon to re-enter reality.

Could probably do something with that idea if I had any real knowledge of Exalted. Maybe I should pick up the third edition.

[Mystic Muse]

Just got a text on my phone.

Your Card Charged $2865.68 for CIARRA Dishwasher order id BQ090821WV at AMZ on 09-08-2021. If You D0 N0T, Please Call Now [Redacted]

Dear scammer,

It's adorable you think I have that kind of credit limit.

[tomandtish]

Just got a text on my phone.







Dear scammer,

It's adorable you think I have that kind of credit limit.

Also adorable that they think 1) "Do not" is spelled "D0 N0T", and 2) That Ciarra makes dishwashers. (based on my memory and as far as I can tell checking they don't).

Got one a few days ago. My "NetFlicks" password may have been compromised. Now, I admit I can be overly skeptical, but I'm REASONABLY sure Netflix knows how to spell the name of their business.

[halfeye]

Just got a text on my phone.







Dear scammer,

It's adorable you think I have that kind of credit limit.

Also adorable that they think 1) "Do not" is spelled "D0 N0T", and 2) That Ciarra makes dishwashers. (based on my memory and as far as I can tell checking they don't).

Got one a few days ago. My "NetFlicks" password may have been compromised. Now, I admit I can be overly skeptical, but I'm REASONABLY sure Netflix knows how to spell the name of their business.

They are deliberately targetting the mentally deficient, they want you out of their nets, they want victims they can engage in a battle of wits on better than even terms.

[Peelee]

They are deliberately targetting the mentally deficient, they want you out of their nets, they want victims they can engage in a battle of wits on better than even terms.

Aye. Its a numbers game, they don't want to talk to the people who are smart enough to figure out their game. They don't even want to talk to the people who are dumb enough to maybe fall for it after enough convincing. They want to talk to the people who will immediately contact them and confirm their identity with full name, date of birth, social security number, and credit card number right off the bat. Talking to people who may or may not fall for it is a waste of time that they could be scamming four other people who will fall for it.

[tomandtish]

True. Even if you only get 1 out of a thousand that still sets up the potential for some huge numbers.

[HalfTangible]

Got no less than 5 spam calls today during work.

So annoying...

[Mystic Muse]

They are deliberately targetting the mentally deficient, they want you out of their nets, they want victims they can engage in a battle of wits on better than even terms.

Oh, I'm aware. It's just with this specific one, I had to laugh a little. I'm aware they're basically doing 'automatic shotgun' approach.

Aye. Its a numbers game, they don't want to talk to the people who are smart enough to figure out their game. They don't even want to talk to the people who are dumb enough to maybe fall for it after enough convincing. They want to talk to the people who will immediately contact them and confirm their identity with full name, date of birth, social security number, and credit card number right off the bat. Talking to people who may or may not fall for it is a waste of time that they could be scamming four other people who will fall for it.

Yeah, and one of the things we do at work for our clients is specifically bring up these scams every once in a while so that they don't fall for them.

True. Even if you only get 1 out of a thousand that still sets up the potential for some huge numbers.

Sadly, yes.

Got no less than 5 spam calls today during work.

So annoying...

Yeah, happens to me too, and it sucks.

Especially because if somebody is calling me at work, either something's broken and needs fixing, or I screwed up and someone is angry, so I'm automatically stressed as soon as my phone rings.

In brighter news, I watched all of Neon Genesis: Evangelion with LaZodiac. All of it. Just finished the last rebuild movie tonight. Honestly, with the Rebuilds factored in, I'm genuinely happy I watched all of it.

[Anonymouswizard]

I once got a scam message that actually looked legit. Thankfully instead of following the link they sent me to give them my card details I called and checked with my phone provider if I owed them money.

Also a lorry of calls from people claiming to be from the NCA in the early parts of this year. Those were annoying. I had enough that I developed a routine.

[Bartmanhomer]

I hate scam messages especially phone messages. There are ways to block scam messages is to sign up for the scam message registry but they're very unsuccessful, unfortunately.

[Rater202]

My favorites are the robocalls that go straight to voice mail, of a computer-generated voice(and not a good one by any means) threatening you and demanding that you forward a certain amount of money to a certain address to pay off your "debt" or else they'll contact the "local cops."

Just for how... There's wanting to focus on people who will fall for it, and there's being actively incompetent.

[Form]

*sigh* It's going to be one of those frustrating days. A certain co-worker is once again not listening, which has resulted in problems before. It's just... I can't constantly watch their work like a hawk to make sure they don't mess up and they're apparently unwilling to learn, so... I don't know! I should really learn to just step back, wash my hands of the matter and accept the inevitable issues and/or downright disasters it'll lead to somewhere down the line. It's still ^&$#%@#$! frustrating.

[Anonymouswizard]

My favorites are the robocalls that go straight to voice mail, of a computer-generated voice(and not a good one by any means) threatening you and demanding that you forward a certain amount of money to a certain address to pay off your "debt" or else they'll contact the "local cops."

Just for how... There's wanting to focus on people who will fall for it, and there's being actively incompetent.

Oh yeah, I got a lot of those ones claiming to be the NCA and that my national insurance number was connected to a lot of crimes. Or HMRC asking me to pay the tax I underpaid (which I had legitimately done, but they don't call asking for a lump sum, they just increase your tax for the next year,).

[Peelee]

My favorites are the robocalls that go straight to voice mail, of a computer-generated voice(and not a good one by any means) threatening you and demanding that you forward a certain amount of money to a certain address to pay off your "debt" or else they'll contact the "local cops."

Just for how... There's wanting to focus on people who will fall for it, and there's being actively incompetent.

If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.

[Anonymouswizard]

If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.

Nah, it's still stupid. But sometimes you don't need intelligence.

[Rater202]

If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.

Counterpoint: If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you got lucky.

This legitimately feels less like a "filter out anyone smart enough to avoid the scam" and actually feels like genuine short-sightedness on the part of the scammer.