Tarmor's Terribly Tantalizing Tarasque Terrrifying Random Banter #234

[Peelee]

Somebody's never been to Wales.

I think I have a pretty good idea of what Wales is like.

My hometown has almost three times as much average annual rainfall as London does, and it's only a little bit less rainy in the city where Peelee lives. Britain has nothing on the American Southeast in terms of airborne water.

Airborne water in terms of humidity, but I'm like 90% sure the English water reserves are based on the idea that it will rain on average every three days, and if it doesn't rain for two weeks it's declared a drought.

I just checked and London gets on average 5 times as much annual rainfall as my hometown.

[Fyraltari]

Somebody's never been to Wales.

Good for them.

[Anonymouswizard]

Good for them.

I mean the only reason I have for visiting is that family has to move there.

But yeah, I think Peelee is about right. The British Isles don't actually have continual rain, but train is pretty regular. Although I think in London itself it's more common during the night, and it does very much vary depending on what part of the Isles you are in (some areas do get pretty constant rain).

I'm used to cloud cover, and depending on the exact period in my life I've always had a raincoat or umbrella handy. It might not be overly humid, but we're fairly wet.

[DavidSh]

I think I have a pretty good idea of what Wales is like.
I just checked and London gets on average 5 times as much annual rainfall as my hometown.

I take it your hometown isn't actually in Alabama. My hometown in the northeast US gets nearly 2 times as much annual rainfall as London.

[Peelee]

I take it your hometown isn't actually in Alabama. My hometown in the northeast US gets nearly 2 times as much annual rainfall as London.

Birmingham. The one pronounced as "ham" rather than "um".

[halfeye]

I take it your hometown isn't actually in Alabama. My hometown in the northeast US gets nearly 2 times as much annual rainfall as London.

London is not the wettest part of Britain.

[Fyraltari]

London is not the wettest part of Britain.

The Doctor: *Studying a corpse* He died from... extreme lack of sunlight?

Nardole: Look at that, death by Scotland.

[Peelee]

Google tells me Birmingham averages 56 inches of rain per year compared with 27 inches in London or 67 inches where I live. While looking it up I found out that even the legendarily wet Seattle only gets 37 inches of rain per year, so now I don't know what to believe...

Huh. Google was yanking my chain earlier. Interesting, I'm now getting that same result.

[DavidSh]

While looking it up I found out that even the legendarily wet Seattle only gets 37 inches of rain per year, so now I don't know what to believe...

I believe Seattle has its reputation because:

1. It has a lot of days with some rain, even if the total amount in mm isn't large,
2. It's people from the semi-desert parts of California who talk about Seattle weather.

[Bartmanhomer]

I never understood why people get so upset about putting pineapples over pizza. To be honest, I never eat it but I want to try it someday.

[Caerulea]

I never understood why people get so upset about putting pineapples over pizza. To be honest, I never eat it but I want to try it someday.

It's alright. While it probably depends on the quality of pineapple, when I've eaten it it was a little sour but still fairly good pizza. People getting 'upset' is mostly a very widespread joke about something that's relatively uncommon.

[Bartmanhomer]

It's alright. While it probably depends on the quality of pineapple, when I've eaten it it was a little sour but still fairly good pizza. People getting 'upset' is mostly a very widespread joke about something that's relatively uncommon.

Yes, I get that but I find it a bit ridiculous that people will get upset over food.

[Rater202]

We've spoken about this before.

In short: You're asking the wrong question.

You should be asking why so many people like pineapple on pizza.

Conventional culinary wisdom is that it shouldn't go together.

Pineapple has a chunky, stringy texture, it's a very juicy fruit. This goes against the expected mouthfeel of a traditional pizza.

Its flavor is very sweet, a little sour, and a bit tangy, and that flavor profile clashes with the flavor profile of a traditional pizza sauce, which is mostly savory and spiced(or even spicy) with only a hint of sweetness. At best they're canceling out and at worst the clash renders it unpalatable.

Furthermore, pineapple juice has a lot of enzymes in it that break down protiens. This means that pineapple goes really well with meats, but with a mild, stringy cheese like what you'd put on a pizza...

Now, conventional wisdom isn't always correct... Except there are a number of people on record who are legitimately sickened by a pineapple pizza. If you search on youtube, Gordon Ramsey once ate a Hawaiian pizza to raise money for... Something, after expressing disdain for pineapple on pizza, and either he spat it out or threw it up.

At the same time, there are enough people who do enjoy pineapple on pizza that it can't just be a fluke.

[Peelee]

Yes, I get that but I find it a bit ridiculous that people will get upset over food.

Other people have different tastes than you. Some are very vocal about it. Thats all.

Conventional culinary wisdom is that it shouldn't go together.

"Conventional culinary wisdom is bunk" - Henry Ford, probably.

[Rater202]

Granted: Most people who talk about Pineapple Pizza are talking about the so-called Hawaiian pizza, pineapple chunks and ham.

I've heard some people make a convincing argument for adding a small amount of both crushed pineapple and habanero to meat-lovers which... could work?

If the pizza is fully loaded than a little bit of pineapple on top of the meat layer should complement the meat without denaturing the cheese and a very light amount of habanero added to the sauce should counterbalance the potential effects that the pineapple would have on the sauce. Crushed pineapple also doesn't necessarily have the same texture issues as chunks of pineapple.

[Anonymouswizard]

I think pineapple on pizza works, but it can't be amazing pineapple. It's not the best thing to have on a pizza, but I'll occasionally get a craving for ham & pineapple.

But then again my favourite kinds of (American) pizza are seafood and goats cheese with red onion. While they're not exactly unpopular they're also not what people tend to think of.

But we're missing the real problem, the tendency for walnuts to ruin perfectly good dishes with their texture. It's almost as bad as those flavourless beansprouts that find their way into Chinese food.

Yeah, those are the two individual ingredients I dislike. Walnuts belong in coffee and walnut cake where their texture doesn't get in the way, while beansprouts being nowhere near my plate.

[Mystic Muse]

Walnuts, or any kind of nut in brownies ruins perfectly good brownies, in my humble opinion.

[enderlord99]

I like the flavor (including both taste and smell) of pineapple in pizza, when I'm in the right mood, but I only like the texture of pineapple on pizza if it's done properly which very few pizza-makers do and the pineapple itself has the right properties before application, which is unreliable due to factors in the growing and canning processes.

Most of the time, either it's too woody and/or too fibrous, or it isn't drained properly and makes the other components soggy and/or mushy. When it's done right, it's great, but it's rarely done right.

Rater, your idea of using crushed instead of chunk (and adding a bit more heat to balance it) is brilliant, but if I were to try that I'd put it inside the dough, rather than making it a layer in its own right.

[Keltest]

Walnuts, or any kind of nut in brownies ruins perfectly good brownies, in my humble opinion.

Agreed, in my less humble opinion. Brownies are supposed to be chewy. Why would you put nuts in them? What sort of mad realm do you have to come from where chewy foods go crunch?

[Anonymouswizard]

Walnuts, or any kind of nut in brownies ruins perfectly good brownies, in my humble opinion.

Also ruins the flavour of the coffee or chilli you've added.

But I'm not the biggest fan of nuts in general. I can handle non walnuts, but they're get from my favourite kinds of food.

On the other hand the cube is why I'm still awake at half two.

[Rater202]

Rater, your idea of using crushed instead of chunk (and adding a bit more heat to balance it) is brilliant, but if I were to try that I'd put it inside the dough, rather than making it a layer in its own right.

I can't take full credit for that, I'm mostly connecting and regurgitating ideas I've heard from other people.

The reason you put it as a layer ontop of a full layer of meat is becuase of those enzymes. You ever had a steak that's been perforated and had some crushed pineapple packed onto it before being cooked well done in the oven?

the meat gets so tender and the broken down proteins are more easily recognized by the tongue, the meat tastes meatier. Same thing that happens when yo put basil on eggs or put salt in most things.

So if we're talking a fully loaded meat-lovers pizza—ham, bacon, sausage, pepperoni, ground beef to start and some places just get absolutely crazy with their meat-lovers—then a little bit of crushed pineapple on top of the meat would give a similar effect while the layer of meat would prevent it from doing too much damage to the cheese underneath.

[DataNinja]

I like pineapple on pizza because A) it mellows the pineapple flavour, which I find way too strong otherwise (I want to eat my food, I don't want it eating me!), and B) the sweetness and the liquid counterbalances well with the fats and starches of the rest of the pizza. Just adds that little bit of freshness to a bite, to try and describe it.

[enderlord99]

I can't take full credit for that, I'm mostly connecting and regurgitating ideas I've heard from other people.

The reason you put it as a layer ontop of a full layer of meat is becuase of those enzymes. You ever had a steak that's been perforated and had some crushed pineapple packed onto it before being cooked well done in the oven?

the meat gets so tender and the broken down proteins are more easily recognized by the tongue, the meat tastes meatier. Same thing that happens when yo put basil on eggs or put salt in most things.

So if we're talking a fully loaded meat-lovers pizza—ham, bacon, sausage, pepperoni, ground beef to start and some places just get absolutely crazy with their meat-lovers—then a little bit of crushed pineapple on top of the meat would give a similar effect while the layer of meat would prevent it from doing too much damage to the cheese underneath.

Wait, are you suggesting they crush the pineapple in-house? I was assuming canned crushed pineapple, which doesn't have bromelain.

[halfeye]

I like the flavor (including both taste and smell) of pineapple in pizza, when I'm in the right mood, but I only like the texture of pineapple on pizza if it's done properly which very few pizza-makers do and the pineapple itself has the right properties before application, which is unreliable due to factors in the growing and canning processes.

Most of the time, either it's too woody and/or too fibrous, or it isn't drained properly and makes the other components soggy and/or mushy. When it's done right, it's great, but it's rarely done right.

Rater, your idea of using crushed instead of chunk (and adding a bit more heat to balance it) is brilliant, but if I were to try that I'd put it inside the dough, rather than making it a layer in its own right.

Canned pineapple is trash. I thought as a kid I hated pineapple, but then someone convinced me to try a bit of a fresh one, and it was delicious. It turns out that canned pineapple loses 80% of its flavour, and all its vitamins.

[Rater202]

Wait, are you suggesting they crush the pineapple in-house? I was assuming canned crushed pineapple, which doesn't have bromelain.

Then what the hell's the point?

[enderlord99]

Then what the hell's the point?

I... have no idea, actually.

[Peelee]

Then what the hell's the point?

Taste, I would imagine.

[Metastachydium]

Not everyone's into enzymes you know. While undoubtedly useful, they are creepy compounds that break stuff up. I wouldn't like to have one as a neighbour.

[HalfTangible]

I don't know if pineapple is any good at pizza.

But the meme that it's the most atrocious of sins is fun.

[Peelee]

I don't know if pineapple is any good at pizza.

But the meme that it's the most atrocious of sins is fun.

It's pretty good if youre in the mood for it. Hawaiian pizza (pineapple, ham, and bacon) is tasty.

Meme is still fun.