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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
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    frown I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    So... I'm a new player, been playing over voice chat for a year. It's a great group - we have a nice mix of RP and combat, the GM plays fair and tries to only mostly kill us, and everybody gets along. They've been very welcoming, and though I'm still not hugely confident I always look forward to our sessions.

    We're currently level 11. Last game we found out that my character's parents have been taken away by the guards and her grandfather was murdered. This was a nice bit of drama and not entirely unexpected. After a bit of investigating, we turned around and saw a dragon flap down onto the roof of their house and start burning it down, along with much of the neighbourhood. At this point, I couldn't think of any reason my character would have not to go into this.
    a) her grandfather's corpse was inside and she'd been hoping to resurrect him
    b) her home, her parents' livelihood and neighbourhood is being destroyed
    c) people are dying right now, people she grew up with

    Two players/PCs were against. One PCs backed me, in character, and started running for the dragon. Long story short, we ended up fighting, and the three who got close (the fourth started a bucket chain, the fifth missed the session so the DM played safe so as not to kill her) were killed.

    I can't argue ignorance: the other players talked a bit about what a bad idea it was to engage a dragon in the open air, and I knew everyone was a bit low on abilities (and also on much lower health than I thought). I was also counting on an ability and failed to realise that it couldn't possibly have worked against the dragon.

    The fight wasn't my decision alone... but at the same time, D&D is a group game, so if one person rushes in to die a pointless death then everybody else will do the same, out of solidarity. I feel like I should have been able to think of an in-character reason not to rush in, or at least swallow my pride and back out of a very bad situation, even if it would have made things a bit complicated RP-wise. "It's what my character would do" is usually quoted as something That Guy says, and I don't want to be That Guy.

    I don't think anybody's (very) bitter, and we talked a bit after the game, but still - I'm not happy with myself.

    tl;dr my character's decisions got three PCs killed, one of them my own, and I feel a bit ****. How can I do better?

    (and if you're reading this, guys... oops, I suppose)

    Edited reply because life got in the way and I don't want to necro:
    Thanks for all the comments, lot of food for thought in there, especially for a new player like myself. As for my DM - yes, I trust him and don't blame him (maybe a bit for the dead grandad). A lot of dominoes came together and fell on us, essentially: months ago (one week IG) we'd unknowingly stolen a very valuable magic item which belonged to the dragon, the BBEG's lieutenant who controls the dragon now has a personal grudge against us and recently learned where my character lived, and someone had been sent to watch her house (alerting the sub-BBEG, who alerted the dragon). Dead grandad was, I think, a spur-of-the-moment decision which made for good roleplay but came back to bite everyone in the bum; I think the DM expected us to flee and challenge the dragon when we were in a better position to do so, but grandad's resurrectable cadaver gave me Stakes.
    Anyway, tl;dr DM is friend-shaped, the dragon is dead now and my new temporary PC is going to hang the head above her shop door. .
    Last edited by EmeraldBoa; 2022-01-03 at 01:36 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    mucat's Avatar

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    You were not at all "That Guy" here. You can't even see That Guy's house from where you're standing. (And not only because the whole neighborhood is ashes.)

    It's one thing to behave like a complete jackass, in-world and out, and try to justify it as "what my character would do." It's another thing to rush in and try to rescue friends and loved ones. In this case, it really *is* what a decent and realistic character would do.

    D&D (at least as most of us play it) isn't only a tactical optimization exercise. It's a story of interesting people doing interesting things. Frankly, if a character in one of my groups didn't race to the rescue in a situation like you described -- not because they understandably lost their nerve in the face of a roaring dragon, but because their player didn't want to make a suboptimal move in a game -- then I would start to wonder, "Why do I care about this person's story again?"

    It does sound like your GM might have unfairly sprung a Kobiyashi Maru scenario on you, but I can't really make that call without more context.
    Last edited by mucat; 2021-11-20 at 07:46 PM.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    1) This is why PCs are only child orphans of only child orphaned parents. They don't want DMs to kill off family to create drama.

    2) Sometimes a DM will have a monster appear the party is not meant to fight. It's way above their league in power. It's obvious way above their league in power. Usually such a monster wants to talk to the party, but once in a while it's meant as a cinematic cut scene that doesn't and isn't supposed to directly interact with the party. If this is what the DM meant he did it poorly because given the set up there was no way for the players to pick up on this. It obviously wasn't going to talk, and it immediate started destroying something of value to a PC.

    3) If not 2, the DM, given what you say, should have known there was to be a fight. It's then a question of was it 1) bad luck dice rolling, shucks darn 2) poor player tactics of a suboptimal battle area the party could not recover from or 3) the DM on purpose or accident set up a fight the party could not win.
    Last edited by Pex; 2021-11-20 at 10:03 PM.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Do you trust your DM?
    “Rule is what lies between what is said and what is understood.”

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    As they say, it takes two to tangle.

    I've played games where my character (or another) did not support the party's course of action, so they held back and didn't help. It certainly didn't gain them any love, but they lived. D&D may be a group game, but there've been times where one fool would rush in and the party absolutely would not back them, and so that person died.

    Your party, against their perhaps better judgement, decided to aid you in this fight. You certainly don't appear to have forced them or otherwise coerced them into this action, so all in all I'd say, thems the breaks.
    Knowledge brings the sting of disillusionment, but the pain teaches perspective.
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  6. - Top - End - #6
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    In my opinion, each player makes the final call for their character. You didn't force them into their actions. So while they might have grounds to say to you "told you so" I would not expect them to hold you fully responsible as they did elect to join you in the attempt.

    I say feel a little sad it happened but do not try and take the whole thing onto your shoulders.

    Just my point of view.
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude... seeming to be true within the context of the game world.

    "D&D does not have SECRET rules that can only be revealed by meticulous deconstruction of words and grammar. There is only the unclear rules prose that makes people think there are secret rules to be revealed."

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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    NTA - this wasn't a random bad idea you latched onto, it was a situation which practically compelled your character into action. I probably would have done the same thing, for many characters I've played.

    And for that matter, while usually it's IC to make staying alive a high priority, it's not the only priority, and OOC you don't only live once, so you might as well go out on your own terms rather than lose the character's spirit.

    It sounds like a mistake was made on the GM's part though, although I can't say for sure. Maybe the rolls just blindsided everyone, or there were reasons why this dragon was essential to include, but it's not like the story was lacking conflict/pathos with the character's parents arrested and grandfather dead!
    Last edited by icefractal; 2021-11-21 at 05:24 AM.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Honestly I'd say the PC who decided not to aid in the fight is more at fault than you. Having the party go into a difficult fight at 60% power instead of 80% was their choice alone, and that extra 20% could have made a big difference.

    There's an old team building concept that probably has some specific adage I can't recall, but the basic concept is that no matter the idea, even if it sounds stupid, the whole team should work together to achieve the goal that's set.

    It's an important concept to learn in team sports and video games and whatnot. If 60% of your team is heading off to complete the objective in a specific way, even a bad way, it's almost ALWAYS better to go with them and try to help make it work.

    Because lone wolfing it is never going to have a better outcome anyway.

    Seriously, what did they expect to accomplish with a bucket brigade? While the dragon is STILL ACTIVELY BURNING THE TOWN?

    Was it worth letting their friends get killed without them when they could have possibly prevented it?

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Rynjin View Post
    Seriously, what did they expect to accomplish with a bucket brigade? While the dragon is STILL ACTIVELY BURNING THE TOWN?

    Was it worth letting their friends get killed without them when they could have possibly prevented it?
    Yeah, I have players in one of my regular groups that do random errant stuff like that all the time and it annoys me to no end. I mean, "carrying a random wounded NPC man-at-arms to the surgeons" surely is a noble thing to do. But if you are one of two battle-ready level 13+ wizards in our army and there is a horrible archdemon spawning on the battlefield that starts ripping off the heads of our army commanders, maybe order one of the 2,000 perfectly capable level 1 warriors to carry the injured soldier to safety and go help with the freaking boss fight yourself.
    Last edited by Berenger; 2021-11-21 at 07:36 AM.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Sounds good to me.
    Especially if the other players had the opportunity to grab hold of you, tell you you've got to go, there's nothing you can do here and drag you away from the dragon while you scream and rage in a suitably dramatic fashion.
    If one character said "hell yeah! Let's fight!" one wandered off to do damage limitation and one tried to have a sensible conversation with you then it sounds like you got exactly the perfect outcome (assuming the DM intended for the dragon to stand and fight rather than getting out of town the second a bunch of high level characters turned up).

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    You did nothing wrong and this will be a memorable battle two years from now.

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Things happen, move on, next character please.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Altheus View Post
    Things happen, move on, next character please.
    I agree. With a single exception, this is how I have felt when any of my characters die. As a character I elected to do a very dangerous activity so I expect the risk. Heck the risk is part of the fun in my opinion.
    *It isn't realism, it's verisimilitude... seeming to be true within the context of the game world.

    "D&D does not have SECRET rules that can only be revealed by meticulous deconstruction of words and grammar. There is only the unclear rules prose that makes people think there are secret rules to be revealed."

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    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by J-H View Post
    You did nothing wrong and this will be a memorable battle two years from now.
    And the tale may well grow in telling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Altheus View Post
    Things happen, move on, next character please.
    Yeah, grab them dice and roll up a new one. (Or whatever method you all use).
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    Agency means that they {players} control their character's actions; you control the world's reactions to the character's actions.
    Gosh, 2D8HP, you are so very correct!

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    I'm with everyone else - You did right (unless you've established your character is always coldly rational before - no self respecting Vulcan would rush in like that)
    Maybe the GM misjudged your reaction - miner GM bad. You responded to an in character crisis in an entirely reasonably irrational way. Normal people do that all the time
    Maybe the GM misjudged the character who didn't pitch in to the fight - miner bad for GM, that player or both
    Maybe the dice didn't go your way enough to get through the fight - it happens and that's no-ones fault
    Or maybe the GM thought this was a fight you could win. That's a slightly bigger GM bad.
    I love playing in a party with a couple of power-gamers, it frees me up to be Elan!


  16. - Top - End - #16
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Pex View Post
    1) This is why PCs are only child orphans of only child orphaned parents. They don't want DMs to kill off family to create drama.
    .
    DM: "Okay, as you guys are preparing to set off for the dungeon of Blex, PC receives an emergency message. The orphanage you grew up in was attacked and Mrs Gubersmith, the kindly old cook of the orphanage, and the only person who ever showed you any love when you were growing up has been kidnapped by evil wizards."

    PC: "God dammit!"
    Last edited by Wintermoot; 2021-11-22 at 07:02 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Orc in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Wintermoot View Post
    DM: "Okay, as you guys are preparing to set off for the dungeon of Blex, PC receives an emergency message. The orphanage you grew up in was attacked and Mrs Gubersmith, the kindly old cook of the orphanage, and the only person who ever showed you any love when you were growing up has been kidnapped by evil wizards."

    PC: "God dammit!"
    I've gone the other way and made my character's family powerful paladins in their own right, so "your family is in danger!" plots don't work on them. DM will at least have to get creative.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Wintermoot View Post
    DM: "Okay, as you guys are preparing to set off for the dungeon of Blex, PC receives an emergency message. The orphanage you grew up in was attacked and Mrs Gubersmith, the kindly old cook of the orphanage, and the only person who ever showed you any love when you were growing up has been kidnapped by evil wizards."

    PC: "God dammit!"
    Hey, I had one character whose entire family was backstory killed off by house cats during a bungled robbery and immedately became a tween arson-wizard adventurer because it was socially acceptable murderizing that paid well... I'm not allowed to do that any more for some reason...
    "And this, too, shall pass away."

    DtD40k7e rewrite complete.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Berenger View Post
    Yeah, I have players in one of my regular groups that do random errant stuff like that all the time and it annoys me to no end. I mean, "carrying a random wounded NPC man-at-arms to the surgeons" surely is a noble thing to do. But if you are one of two battle-ready level 13+ wizards in our army and there is a horrible archdemon spawning on the battlefield that starts ripping off the heads of our army commanders, maybe order one of the 2,000 perfectly capable level 1 warriors to carry the injured soldier to safety and go help with the freaking boss fight yourself.
    And yet, the GM almost never has one of the 2k other npcs ever have common sense. They will almost never jump to render any sort of aid, setup a fire bucket chain, or carry wounded to the medic. PC's being the big action hero are the spark that sets the common rabble into action and 1/2 the time the common rabble will fail in this simple task leaving the hero to swoop in anyway and now save both of them.


    I am slightly bitter as I have been hit with this by multiple GMs and printed scenarios before. It is a common trope in almost all table top games. Even in villain games. "Why am I surrounded by IMBICILES?!" "If you want something done right, do it yourself", and "Why must I do everything?"

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Drogorn View Post
    I've gone the other way and made my character's family powerful paladins in their own right, so "your family is in danger!" plots don't work on them. DM will at least have to get creative.
    Now daddy wants you to join the Secret Order of your Paladin family. The Sacred order of Illumination was established to protect people from themselves.....if you don't...well Fnord! Now you know too much!


    Mommy is not happy that you took Warlock/Sorcerer levels....this is not how you do things in this family.


    Relations be it family or others can be used to make drama. Remember that book/comic/tvshow/movie about that orphan that knew nobody and just went about killing stuff? I don't.

    Given that many GM's use it very badly to force a plot by killing or kidnapping. And even when Players show up with orphan PC then creative GM's just tell them their father is Darth Vader.....instant drama. How is the PC going to tackle that?
    Last edited by RazorChain; 2021-11-24 at 08:39 AM.
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  21. - Top - End - #21
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorChain View Post
    Given that many GM's use it very badly to force a plot by killing or kidnapping. And even when Players show up with orphan PC then creative GM's just tell them their father is Darth Vader.....instant drama. How is the PC going to tackle that?
    By being undead before the game starts and simply having outlived all their relatives, who all died peacefully of old age.

    Serious answer - by telling the GM OOC they don't want family drama, and leaving the game if the GM decides to insert some anyway. It's not a big ask, and if the GM's unwilling to give on that one point, that's a huge red flag of being a control freak. But conversely you do need to say it OOC, because a number of players would enjoy that kind of drama OOC even if their character would hate it IC.
    Last edited by icefractal; 2021-11-24 at 02:44 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #22
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by EmeraldBoa View Post
    So... I'm a new player, been playing over voice chat for a year. It's a great group - we have a nice mix of RP and combat, the GM plays fair and tries to only mostly kill us, and everybody gets along. They've been very welcoming, and though I'm still not hugely confident I always look forward to our sessions.

    We're currently level 11. Last game we found out that my character's parents have been taken away by the guards and her grandfather was murdered. This was a nice bit of drama and not entirely unexpected. After a bit of investigating, we turned around and saw a dragon flap down onto the roof of their house and start burning it down, along with much of the neighbourhood. At this point, I couldn't think of any reason my character would have not to go into this.
    a) her grandfather's corpse was inside and she'd been hoping to resurrect him
    b) her home, her parents' livelihood and neighbourhood is being destroyed
    c) people are dying right now, people she grew up with

    Two players/PCs were against. One PCs backed me, in character, and started running for the dragon. Long story short, we ended up fighting, and the three who got close (the fourth started a bucket chain, the fifth missed the session so the DM played safe so as not to kill her) were killed.

    I can't argue ignorance: the other players talked a bit about what a bad idea it was to engage a dragon in the open air, and I knew everyone was a bit low on abilities (and also on much lower health than I thought). I was also counting on an ability and failed to realise that it couldn't possibly have worked against the dragon.

    The fight wasn't my decision alone... but at the same time, D&D is a group game, so if one person rushes in to die a pointless death then everybody else will do the same, out of solidarity. I feel like I should have been able to think of an in-character reason not to rush in, or at least swallow my pride and back out of a very bad situation, even if it would have made things a bit complicated RP-wise. "It's what my character would do" is usually quoted as something That Guy says, and I don't want to be That Guy.

    I don't think anybody's (very) bitter, and we talked a bit after the game, but still - I'm not happy with myself.

    tl;dr my character's decisions got three PCs killed, one of them my own, and I feel a bit ****. How can I do better?

    (and if you're reading this, guys... oops, I suppose)
    you were not wrong to engage there. any roleplayer would have done it. your dm may be in the wrong; threatening one's family as a plot hook is legitimate, but exterminating one's family while rubbing it in his face to set up a long term villain is dickish, adversarial, and, most important, counterproductive. if a player is considerate enough to form connections and become emotionally involved in the campaign world instead of being a murderhobo, you want to reward that and use it to tell a more rich story; you don't want to squander it all just to provide a thin-veiled excuse for the character to engage in more murderhoboing. else you'll be left wondering why all your players are murderhobos.
    now, i don't know your exact table situation, and cannot judge if the dm did one on you; but from the setup, if someone is to blame, it's him. Also, the other players not cooperating.

    that said, i wonder why you all died engaging the dragon. unless you were all killed in one round, you should have enough sense to leave when you realize the fight is going poorly. and at level 11, you should have a dimension door for it. so, you are not guilty of "trying to save your family", but you may be guilty of "being too stubborn to back down in front of certain doom".
    Quote Originally Posted by gijoemike View Post
    And yet, the GM almost never has one of the 2k other npcs ever have common sense. They will almost never jump to render any sort of aid, setup a fire bucket chain, or carry wounded to the medic. PC's being the big action hero are the spark that sets the common rabble into action and 1/2 the time the common rabble will fail in this simple task leaving the hero to swoop in anyway and now save both of them.


    I am slightly bitter as I have been hit with this by multiple GMs and printed scenarios before. It is a common trope in almost all table top games. Even in villain games. "Why am I surrounded by IMBICILES?!" "If you want something done right, do it yourself", and "Why must I do everything?"
    omg that's such a cheap trope, no self respecting dm should do that ok, guilty as charged, i've done that a lot of times .
    but in my defence, my npcs don't act like idiots, unless they are supposed to be idiots. and yes, having your npcs take the idiot ball too much is bad dming, it ruins immersion. it's hard to care for the campaign world when it's populated by dumbasses.
    so, when i do set up npcs to fail so that pcs can shine, i try to make them fail in realistic ways. in the given example, npcs would carry a wounded to safety and set up a bucket chain, leaving the pcs to do the high level action stuff. last time i had a whole 20th level npc party being wiped out by the villain to show how powerful the villain is, but they acted reasonably and did nothing wrong; it's just that the villain really is that powerful. and i got to show the party the villain's main strenghts, so that they can try and plan around them.
    In memory of Evisceratus: he dreamed of a better world, but he lacked the class levels to make the dream come true.

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  23. - Top - End - #23
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorChain View Post
    Relations be it family or others can be used to make drama. Remember that book/comic/tvshow/movie about that orphan that knew nobody and just went about killing stuff? I don't.
    It's called "A Practical Guide to Evil" and it's a webserial, also Batman, Superman.
    Last edited by halfeye; 2021-11-24 at 02:51 PM.
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    Mordar's Avatar

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by EmeraldBoa View Post
    So... I'm a new player, been playing over voice chat for a year. It's a great group - we have a nice mix of RP and combat, the GM plays fair and tries to only mostly kill us, and everybody gets along. They've been very welcoming, and though I'm still not hugely confident I always look forward to our sessions.

    We're currently level 11. Last game we found out that my character's parents have been taken away by the guards and her grandfather was murdered. This was a nice bit of drama and not entirely unexpected. After a bit of investigating, we turned around and saw a dragon flap down onto the roof of their house and start burning it down, along with much of the neighbourhood. At this point, I couldn't think of any reason my character would have not to go into this.
    a) her grandfather's corpse was inside and she'd been hoping to resurrect him
    b) her home, her parents' livelihood and neighbourhood is being destroyed
    c) people are dying right now, people she grew up with


    ..."It's what my character would do" is usually quoted as something That Guy says, and I don't want to be That Guy.

    I don't think anybody's (very) bitter, and we talked a bit after the game, but still - I'm not happy with myself.

    tl;dr my character's decisions got three PCs killed, one of them my own, and I feel a bit ****. How can I do better?
    Anything less than your response and I'd be compelled to ask why you didn't do better. That assumes you were playing a heroic game, not some sort of villains game or something like that. It appears to me that the DM is the point of failure here. If it was as simple as setting the dragon up as the BBEG, the dragon could have done all of that arson while the PCs were too far away to do anything other than come upon the still-burning timbers/corpses and watch it fly away.

    Every part of this feels like a trap as first glance. One that you had to walk into face first.

    Quote Originally Posted by halfeye View Post
    It's called "A Practical Guide to Evil" and it's a webserial, also Batman, Superman.
    [derail]Bats and Superman have all kind of relationship levers to pull. There is a radical difference between "orphan so I can be completely immune to interpersonal levers" and "orphaned to establish story parameters"...especially when both of the tights-wearing characters had excruciatingly strong/moral/valuable surrogate parents.[/derail]

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  25. - Top - End - #25
    Titan in the Playground
     
    WindStruck's Avatar

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    It really sounds like this is all on the GM, actually.

    What reason does some dragon have flapping down out of the blue and torching some random peasants' houses? But it just so happens, the house where your grandfather's corpse rests?

    I think it's a blatant case of excessive GM fiat. You're being forced into a situation where something your character holds dear is being threatened. You chose to do what made sense for your character, and party members died. But if you didn't do that, you could be called out for being a munchkin, a meta gamer, or a poor role player.

    Seriously, it's the GM. If there was supposed to be some shadowy conspiracy where people wanted to destroy evidence and get rid of some bodies, it could have just been some more mundane people committing arson. The situation did not call for a dragon at all.
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  26. - Top - End - #26
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    I see a lot of people trying to blame the DM. Please stop! Being a DM is already thankless and difficult enough!

    Everything that happened here was tragic and a bummer, but also mundane and ordinary. It sucks, but it happens.
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  27. - Top - End - #27
    Orc in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorChain View Post
    Now daddy wants you to join the Secret Order of your Paladin family. The Sacred order of Illumination was established to protect people from themselves.....if you don't...well Fnord! Now you know too much!


    Mommy is not happy that you took Warlock/Sorcerer levels....this is not how you do things in this family.


    Relations be it family or others can be used to make drama. Remember that book/comic/tvshow/movie about that orphan that knew nobody and just went about killing stuff? I don't.

    Given that many GM's use it very badly to force a plot by killing or kidnapping. And even when Players show up with orphan PC then creative GM's just tell them their father is Darth Vader.....instant drama. How is the PC going to tackle that?
    Yes, but you see, now you had to get creative since the family isn't a bunch of helpless commoners. Mission accomplished!

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by icefractal View Post
    By being undead before the game starts and simply having outlived all their relatives, who all died peacefully of old age.

    Serious answer - by telling the GM OOC they don't want family drama, and leaving the game if the GM decides to insert some anyway. It's not a big ask, and if the GM's unwilling to give on that one point, that's a huge red flag of being a control freak. But conversely you do need to say it OOC, because a number of players would enjoy that kind of drama OOC even if their character would hate it IC.
    "My druid was raised by weasels, their average lifespan is like 10 years you're 4 generations too late to threaten my parents"

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Pex's Avatar

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Easy e View Post
    I see a lot of people trying to blame the DM. Please stop! Being a DM is already thankless and difficult enough!

    Everything that happened here was tragic and a bummer, but also mundane and ordinary. It sucks, but it happens.
    The DM is not always right. You can disagree this DM in particular did anything wrong, but being the DM is not all by itself proof of innocence.
    Quote Originally Posted by OgresAreCute View Post
    "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition, where the DCs are made up and the rules don't matter."

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Troll in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: I got most of the party killed and feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Easy e View Post
    I see a lot of people trying to blame the DM. Please stop! Being a DM is already thankless and difficult enough!

    Everything that happened here was tragic and a bummer, but also mundane and ordinary. It sucks, but it happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pex View Post
    The DM is not always right. You can disagree this DM in particular did anything wrong, but being the DM is not all by itself proof of innocence.
    more to the point, being "wrong" does not imply fault or, even less, maliciousness. people are wrong all the time. especially in games.

    Being wrong should be treated as a learning experience more often. whenever my players do something stupid and get killed, or do something that derails the campaign too badly, i ask myself if i could have done something better to avoid it.
    Same if i die as a player.
    In memory of Evisceratus: he dreamed of a better world, but he lacked the class levels to make the dream come true.

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