Critters III! Now also in 5e!

[Bhu]

Dire Keet
Small Animal
Hit Dice: 1d8+1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
Armor Class: 14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-6
Attack: Peck +3 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack: 1 Peck +3 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -2 melee (1d2-2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Annoy
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any Warm except Aquatic
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-30)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement:
Level Adjustment: ---

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."

Dire Parakeets are even more annoyingly screechy than the regular kind. Even worse they're smart enough to know it. Many is the Keet who has perched next to a sleeping adventurer and screeched the night away.

Annoy (Ex): As a Swift Action the Keet may screech each round, delivering a nails on a chalkboard sensation to any poor bystanders. Any round in which it screeches within 30 ft. of another being, that being must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or any action requiring concentration becomes a Full Round Action, and he receives a -4 penalty on all Concentration checks for the round.

Combat: Keets aren't warriors. They screech a lot, but they rarely full out attack anyone.



Giant Parakeets
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be defining what it means to be patient and professional."

SKREEE!
"Sweet Jebus, that is some serious racket."

"They calm down once they get to know you. After you've had them a year, they can be quite affectionate."

"SKREEEE!"

"What do you do in the meantime?"

"I would invest in hearing protection."

The Grand High Poobahs of Bird Memes

"Do they ever stop?"

"SKREEE!!"

"Alas, no."

[Bhu]

Dire Squirrel
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Full Attack: 1 Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d4) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: SQEEE!
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +1
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Balance +12, Climb +12, Jump +12, Listen +3, Search +1, Spot +3
Feats: Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B) *
Environment: Cold or Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

* Brachiation is in Complete Adventurer

"Unca Bert? Unca Abner? Can Ah keep 'im? His name is Goober."

"Sally, honey, we're s'posed ta whup the critters not adopt them."

Dire Squirrels are cute fuzzy abominations of nature who like to pelt adventurers with nuts and rocks. Sometimes they play whats known as "Adventurer tag" by leaping on them from the trees, and then running away in some bizarre form of counting coup.

SQEEE! (Ex): As a Standard Action the Dire Squirrel can leap from the trees pouncing on an unsuspecting victim below. The attack does 2d6+2 damage, and the victim must make 2 separate DC 14 Fortitude Saves (Save DC is Strength Based with a +2 Circumstance Bonus). If the first is failed the victim is knocked prone. If the second is failed he is also Stunned for 1 round.

Skills: Dire Squirrels have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Balance, Climb, Jump, and Search checks. They may always take 10 on a Balance or Climb check, and may use their Dex or Str mod for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Squirrels usually launch themselves at opponents out of the trees before scampering away out of reach. Then they repeat. Sometimes they throw small rocks and nuts.



Giant Squirrels
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our annual segment on adorable wildlife."

Woodland Pranksters
"Giant Squirrels...as pets..."

"Squirrels are quite common as pets among rural folk."

"Those squirrels are quite a bit smaller."

"True, but they don't make for the defensive option that my squirrels provide."

If An Acorn Hits You, Does The Squirrel Make A Sound?

"And that option would be?"

"They really, really like messing with random, heavily armed drifters."

[Metastachydium]

BIRDIES!

Dire Swan

(…)

Dire Swans are raised as living ornaments, and sometimes as guard animals (…) as they're quite loud when surprised or angered.

Hm. I could see a SQ based around that.

Dire Parrot

(…)

Armor Class: 16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13

As Medium birdies, they are not eligible for the size bonus.

parrots who not only can repeat what they've heard, the can expand upon it, and almost seem to do so somewhat maliciously.

Okay, I think that would warrant a Mimicry (Ex). Maybe a boost to WIS as well.

Giant Parrots
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's potential undoing."

RAWK!
"You know Parrots repeat things, right?"

"True, but I've done nothing they can tell on."

"But what about your employees?"

"THE BODIES ARE UNDER PIER 12!! RAWK!!"

Never Trust A Parrot
"That doesn't bode well."

"Dammit...SECURITY!! I need a sweep of the docks."

I'm biased, of course, but I think animals beasts in 5e can have higher INT scores than 2 which wouldn't look half bad on a parrot (parrots are smart birdies; not corvid-level smart but close) that solves murder cases.

Dire Keet

(…)

Attack: Peck +2 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack: 1 Peck +2 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -3 melee (1d2-2)

Should have +3 to hit (+1 size, +2 DEX).

"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."

Abner is Evil.

[Bhu]

BIRDIES!

Hm. I could see a SQ based around that.

A bonus to wake sleeping people maybe?

As Medium birdies, they are not eligible for the size bonus.

Oops, forgot the size change. I have modified the Parrot/Parakeet.

I'm biased, of course, but I think animals beasts in 5e can have higher INT scores than 2 which wouldn't look half bad on a parrot (parrots are smart birdies; not corvid-level smart but close) that solves murder cases.

Everything is a 2-4 except the ape (6) or fantasy critters like the Giant Owl. An octopus was a 3 so thats what I went for with the parrot. I'll revise that if i can get the statblock edited.

Abner is Evil.

I haven't gotten around to revising some of the posts that mention it, but one of Abner's ex-wives cursed him so that all things avian hate him on site (and usually try to kill him). He has serious anger management issues regarding birds.

[Metastachydium]

A bonus to wake sleeping people maybe?

Yeah, like Rouse^PHB2 just Ex and maybe weaker. Something like "if the swan isn't surprised, no one within earshot is" would be cool too, but that's probably a bit above the pay grade of these birdies.

An octopus was a 3 so thats what I went for with the parrot. I'll revise that if i can get the statblock edited.

Sounds good!

[Bhu]

Dire Chameleon
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (38 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+11
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
Special Attacks: Tongue, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Camouflage, Hide in Plain Sight, Wide Angle Vision
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills: Climb +12, Hide +11, Search +2, Spot +7
Feats: Point Blank Shot, Weapon Focus (Tongue)
Environment: Warm Forest
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement:
Level Adjustment: ---


"Bawb...Bawb thet bush is lookin' at me...lookin' at me with big google eyes..."

Dire Chameleons are the size of small alligators. They are kept as pet guard animals, usually by those who are child free. There have been...incidents.

Tongue: The Dire Chameleon has a very sticky tongue, and if it successfully a ranged touch attack with it, the Chameleon can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If the Grapple Check is successful it may make a Grapple Check to "reel in" the opponent the next round, and it begins doing bite damage the next round after that (if the opponent is too big to swallow) or uses it's Swallow Whole ability.

Swallow Whole: The Chameleon may Swallow any creature up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check. The swallowed creature takes 1d8+4 in bludgeoning damage each round and 4 points of acid damage as well. A swallowed creature may attack the gizzard (AC 12), and doing 15 points of damage with a light slashing or piercing weapon. Muscular action immediately closes the hole, and other swallowed creatures must cut their own way out. The gizzard can hold 2 Small, 8 Tiny, 32 Diminutive, or 128 Fine Opponents.

Camouflage: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Hide in Plain Sight: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Wide Angle Vision: Dire Chameleons cannot be Flanked, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot checks.

Skills: The Dire Chameleon has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and a +12 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks. They may always Take 10

Combat: Dire Chameleons generally Hide, and use their Tongue once a small prey creature gets close, or bites if something larger gets nearby. If ambush tactics fail, it will try to remain hidden until the opponent leaves.



Giant Chameleon
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll continue to be shocked and appalled.."

When Did You Get A Lizard Sta-AAAIGH!
"Who wants a giant ambush predator as a pet?"

"Hey, don't knock it till you have a giant bug infestation."

"Fair enough. How are they with children?"

"Children?"

I've Often Thought Children Look Like Bugs

"You know. Persons who aren't yet adults."

"Dammit Jim, I know what children are. Whose gonna want kids around these things anyway?"

"Kind of the point we're trying to make."

[Bhu]

Dire Hare
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 8d8+36 (72 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+15
Attack: Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Rake (1d8+5)
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Scent, Scamper
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 16, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Jump +13, Listen +14, Spot +9
Feats: Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
Environment: Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization: Solitary, or Pair
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---


"PAW! PAW! Them hares is in the crops agin! Can we have Jugged Hare for dinner tonight if'n we get one?"

"They don't make jugs that big junior."


Dire Hares were an experiment in making crop animals, and an attempt to improve on the failed Dire Rabbit scheme. They never do learn lessons well them wizards... The Hares are faster, more aggressive, and reproduce quicker.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Dire Hare hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may Rake.

Rakes (Ex): In a Grapple the Dire Hare has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

Immune to Nausea (Ex): Due to their odd digestive system, Hares cannot vomit, and so are immune to Nausea.

Scamper (Ex): If it wishes to flee a Dire Hare can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 90 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds. Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

Skills: Dire Hares have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

Combat: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.




Giant Hares
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder the unique Hell that is magic rabbits."

Wizards Never Learn
"Are these pets or farm livestock?"

"Why not both?"

"Did you learn nothing from the bunnies?"

"We did indeed. These don't have unchecked growth issues."

Run Rabbit, Run

"So whats the issue with them?"

"Nervousness. They run like hell if you so much as break wind. So you constantly have to round them up."

[Bhu]

Dire Lemur
Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 1/2d8 (2 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 15 ft. (15 squares), Climb 15 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Size, +3 Dex), touch 15, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-12
Attack: Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack: Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
Skills: Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +11, Jump +4, Listen +4, Spot +8
Feats: Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
Environment: Warm Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert...Bert wake up!"

"Zzzznerk..whut? Whut's happenin'?"

"Lil' critters Bert. They're everywhere..."

"Is that one holding your bag of smoke powder and matches?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

BOOM!

Dire Lemurs are larger versions of smaller Lemur species such as the Pygmy Mouse Lemur. They aren't supposed to be kept as pets, but that's never stopped anyone from doing it. Be warned, their curiosity gets them into everything.

Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex): Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

Skills: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks. They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run. If cornered they will bite.



Epic Lemur
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
Full Attack: Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills: Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +6, Jump +9, Listen +4, Spot +6
Feats: Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
Environment: Warm Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Ah can't believe that happened."

"Damn jungle critters. Break out that bag of fruit Ah'm hungry."

"Uh Bert...they got relatives...big relatives. And I think they want the fruit."

Epic Lemurs are merely Dire versions of the larger Lemur species such as the Ring Tailed Lemur. They can be...interesting. And not in a good way. Most definitely not pets.

Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex): Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

Skills: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks. They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Epic Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run. If cornered they will bite.



Giant Lemurs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will put our faith in the Gawds, and hope to not be arrested"

The Illegal Pet Trade
"You know these things can't be kept as pets right? Especially if you've enlarged them?"

"Relax, we bought em all back when we figured it out."

"You had to be told they were illegal?"

"I'm a farming wizard by trade. I just got into the pet industry, I'm not up on all the laws yet."

Who Biggified The Ringtails?

"So whose idea was it to enlarge the bigger ones?"

"No idea, but since they've beaten me down and ran off with my lunch twice I'll be firing them when I find out."

[Bhu]

Dire Pigeon
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 70 ft. (average)
Armor Class: 14 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+10
Attack: Beak +6 melee (1d8+3)
Full Attack: 1 Beak +6 melee (1d8+3) and 2 Claws +1 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Wing Slap, Pigeon Bomb
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +2
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills: Balance +10, Listen +4, Spot +5
Feats: Flyby Attack, Wingover
Environment: Any Warm or Temperate except Aquatic
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Flock (11-30)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 5-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Okay Sally. This here bein' you first run with Uncle Abner n' me we need to make sure you know whats going on. You know what we need to do right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Now when Uncle Abner and Ah chase the birdies off the roof, what do you do?"

"Ah whack em wif mah sling."

"Good."

"Then Ah takes 'em home ta snuggle, cuz theys mah pets now."

"Ah told you she wasn't ready for this yet."

Dire Pigeons are loud, obnoxious, incredibly stupid birds who crap everywhere. They also bring down property values by nesting on the roofs of houses (usually caving them in at times under their weight). Few Dire Species have achieved such nuisance levels as the Pigeon. Adventurers willing to face them are scarce. Not because they're powerful, but because no sane adventurer wants to be thrown off roofs and pooped on to earn a living.

Wing Slap (Ex): As a Standard Action the Dire Pigeon may do a quick and unexpected wing slap against an opponent, usually when they are somewhere high. This does 1d6+1 damage, and the Pigeon gets an Immediate Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If it successfully trips it's opponent the opponent may risk falling from the roof or tower the pigeon is on. It's surprising how otherwise incredibly stupid animals know this.

Pigeon Bomb (Ex): While in Flight the Pigeon may as a Standard Action poop on gawkers below. Treat this as a ranged grenade like weapon, and if it hits it covers a 5' area in foul smelling poo. Opponents who have the Scent ability lose it until they wash, and must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Nauseated for 1d3 rounds. Should the Pigeon critically hit with the poop attack it gets in it's victims eyes blinding it for 1d3 rounds. Basically pigeons are evil bastards.

Skills: Dire Pigeons gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance Checks.

Combat: If a Dire Pigeons foes do not have ranged weapons, they will patiently wait for them to climb the house to reach them before using a quick Wing Slap to Knock them off the roof. They will repeat until the PC's get tired of this. Should they change tactics or have range, they will Bomb the PC's or their mounts.



Giant Pigeons
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing feathered rats."

Apparently Pigeons Are Not Well Liked
"So. Pigeons. Can't imagine as they're popular other than nobles who want trained messengers."

"Exactly why we made them!"

"So how has it worked out?"

"It hasn't. Pigeons are bast--."

And For Good Reason

"Hey now. This is a family show."

"Which doesn't make it any less true."

[Bhu]

Dire Dog (Toy Breed)
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+1
Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d6)
Full Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Trip
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent, Random Health problem
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +1
Abilities: Str 11, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Hide +4, Listen +2, Move Silently +4, Spot +2, Survival +2
Feats: Track, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Domesticated
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"It's got me by a sensitive place Abner. Do not bash it in the head when making your sneak attack. Just give him the sausages"

Toy breeds are innumerable small size Dire Dog mutants with varying degrees of health problems and insanities. Kept as pets, they often are more of a detriment to their master than his opponents due to their random unpredictable nature.

Trip (Ex): If the Toy Breed successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If the attempt fails the opponent doesn't get a Trip attempt in return.

Random Health Problem (Ex): Choose from among one of the following health problems (this can't be switched later). Toy breeds are infamous for them:

Spontaneous Combustion: Anytime the dog takes damage it must make a Fortitude Save (DC is equal to 10 plus damage) or explode doing 5d6 fire damage in a 10 ft. area.

Spontaneous Zombification: Anytime your dog goes to sleep roll 1d100. On a 1 it gains the Zombie template. If brought to less than 0 hit points it automatically gains the Zombie template 1 round later.

Possible Madness: The dog is permanently Confused, as per the spell. CR 1/2

Fury: Anytime the dog is attacked, takes damage, or is upset it immediately goes into Frenzy (see Complete Warrior page 34).

Fears: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes either Paralyzed in fear for 2d6 hours, or Panicked for a similar period of time. Interestingly if Panicked it doesn't need to move in a straight line away from the source of fear, but sometimes runs in circles around it. CR 1/2

Projectile Vomiting/Other: Anytime the dog takes damage, makes a Saving Throw, or is in some way upset it sprays vomit in a 10 ft. Line. Anything in that Area must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated 1d3 rounds. Save DC is Constitution based.

Flatulence Flight: Exactly one hour after the dog eats there is a small chance of explosive flatulence, temporarily giving it a Flight move of 40 ft. for 1d6 rounds as long as it moves forwards in a straight line (or straight up). CR 1/2

Crippling Obesity: The dog is 5 times it's normal body weight. It becomes Fatigued by performing any Standard or Full Round Action, and Exhausted if it performs one 3 or more rounds in a row. On the other hand it's odd dimensions and mass give it a +8 Racial Bonus on Checks made to resist Bull Rush or Grapple Checks. It also gains DR 2/- from it's rippling yards of backfat.

Random Psychic Stare: At any given time the DM may roll 1d20. On a 20 result, the dog spontaneously develops an Int Score of 20 for 1d6 minutes along with the ability to cast Dominate at will (caster Level is equal to HD) as a Supernatural Ability. "Move along citizen, this perfectly ordinary but staring Chihuahua has no unusual powers and its not a threat."

OMG this shrubbery is alive: Due to some hideous malformation of it's normal hairiness, your dog looks like a hideously diseased bush when remaining still. It gains the Camouflage Ability listed on page 50 of the PHB).

Jowly: Your dog has a huge head, increasing it's Bite damage to 1d8, but giving it a -8 Racial Penalty to Balance Checks.

Diseased: This dog carries any disease listed in the DMG, and merely touching it can transmit the infection regardless of how you can normally catch it. The dog is immune, the rest of you wish you were that lucky.

Spontaneous Fainting: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes Unconscious for 1 minute. CR 1/2

Nervous: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it does 2d6+6 damage to everything within 10 ft. and then dies as it's nervous system implodes upon itself.

Combat: Toy Dogs vary. Some immediately flee combat, some are quick to charge and bite, and some are actual decent at it. Much of it varies with how sane hte dog is.

Variants:

Annoying (Affenpinscher, Bichon Frise, Chihuahua, Pekingese, Pomeranian, Shih Tzu): Your dog barks non stop granting it the following ability:

Yap (Ex): Your dogs non stop yapping gives everything within 60 ft. a -4 to Concentration and Listen Checks.



Energetic (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Italian Greyhound, Lowchen, Miniature Pinscher, Silky Terrier, Toy Fox Terrier, Yorkshire Terrier): You dog runs about getting into things non-stop granting it the following ability:

Distracting (Ex): Your dog gets a +2 Racial Bonus on Listen, Search, and Spot Checks, but everything within 10 ft. of him gets a -4 Penalty to Concentration Checks.



Stout (Boston Terrier, French Bulldog, Pug): You dog is more squat than normal giving him -10 land speed, increasing bite to 1d8, and giving him the following ability:

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Dog successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it deals it's bite damage each round it maintains the Grapple. It may Grapple a creature of any Size. +1 CR



Giant Dogs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing mans best...friend?"

The Yappening
"Of all the possible dog breeds you could have chose why these?"

"Nobles are infatuated with them. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."

"So how has it worked out?"

"They tend to explode randomly."

Spontaneous Canine Combustion

"I beg your pardon?"

"Questionable breeding practices has led to a decline in health. The magical processes meant to enlarge them also enlarged their problems."

"So has this led to a decline in sales?"

"Nope. They've sped up."

[Bhu]

Dire Cuttlefish
Small Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
Full Attack: Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Snatch, Poison
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Chameleon, Ink, Jet
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Escape Artist +13, Hide +15, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Spot +5, Swim +9
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization: Solitary or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Of all the things to go fishin' for Bert. Ah cain't believe that lady wants these things as pets."

Dire Cuttlefish are pretty large for their species, but usually don't attack humans or similar sized critters unless it's mating season, or they're ill or scared. They normally hunt small prey with their two extending feeding tentacles, but larger prey will be grappled if necessary. Oddly enough they make decent pets as long as they're well cared for. They look menacing enough most people won't jump into a moat filled with them.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Cuttlefish hits with it's Tentacles Attack it automatically gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. It may Grapple opponents up to 1 Size Class larger than itself and does not take Size Penalties to Grapple Checks. The Cuttlefish bites it's opponent for 1d3+1 damage plus poison with a successful Grapple Check.

Snatch (Ex): The Cuttlefish has two feeding tentacles that have a reach of 10 ft. If an opponent 2 Size Classes smaller than itself is within that range it can use them to make it's Tentacle Attack/Grapple Check. If it's opponent is unaware of it or Denied it's Dexterity Bonus to AC, the Dire Cuttlefish gets a +4 Racial Bonus on the Attack roll, and subsequent Grapple Checks.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 12 Fort Save (Save DC is Con based), Initial and Secondary damage 1d4 Dex.

Chameleon (Ex): The Dire Cuttlefish gets a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks, and also has the Camouflage and Hide in Plan Sight abilities listed on page 46 of the PHB.

Ink (Ex): A Cuttlefish can emit a 10'x10'x10' cloud of black ink once per minute as a Free Action. The cloud provides total concealment, and obscures all vision inside it. They usually use this opportunity to flee.

Jet (Ex): Once per round as a Full Action the Cuttlefish can jet backward 200 ft. in a straight line. This movement does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity.

Skills: Dire Cuttlefish get a +10 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks. They may always Take 10 on a Swim check even if distracted or endangered, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Cuttlefish like to hide or silently swim up behind their prey. Smaller prey gets snatched by their feeding tentacles. Larger prey is grappled in the more normal manner.



Giant Cutttlefish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be confronting the decay of modern society."

Smarter Than They Appear
"These are pets?"

"No so loud, we think they understand language. They may even have one of their own based off color patterns."

"So you think they're intelligent?"

"Ssshh, they might be listening."

Oddly Cute

"So...about my question..."

"Old women seem to think of them as alternative cats. I've seen customers sing to them, or reach into the tank to pet them while making soft cooing noises."

"Are these noble women?"

"Peasants can't afford aquariums."

[Bhu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBkWhkAZ9ds

Dire Namaquan Rain Frog
Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class: 12 (+2 Size), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-12
Attack: Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
Full Attack: Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Hysterically Un-Intimidating War Cry
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +1
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills: Hide +8 (+16 in native terrain), Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Temperate Deserts (found near shorelines close to water)
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 1/8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"SQUEEEEEE!"

"Aaaaw it's so cute."

"I think we'd better hurry. Somethings headed this way, I can hear it in the forest."

The Dire Namaquan Desert Rain Frog is a cute, portly little frog that squeaks when upset. Widely prized as pets, their popularity is the reason for their survival.

Hysterically Un-Intimidating War Cry (Ex): When in danger, stressed, or it simply wishes to intimidate a predator the Desert Rain Frog unleashes it's mighty war cry. Which unfortunately sounds like a rubber squeaky toy. A squeaky toy whose sound echoes up to a mile away alerting any large predators in the region who often dine on either the frogs or small predators that also dine on the frogs. In short the minute the frog squeaks, the PC's have 1d6 rounds before local predators of some sort arrive as they have adapted to listening for the little critters and can pinpoint their location with accuracy. Basically it's a non-magical summons of a monster appropriate for the area and a moderately challenging CR to the party.

Skills: Rain Frog coloration closely resembles that of their native habitat, and gives them a +8 to Hide Checks while in that habitat.

Combat: Rain Frogs squeak. If that doesn't intimidate their foe they try to run away and hide. Unfortunately they aren't very fast, so they're basically quite defenseless apart from their ability to hide.



Giant Rain Frogs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be showing you the most adorable thing we've ever seen."

Difficult To Keep Alive
"These are pets too?"

"Yup, people think they're just the cutest thing ever. Never mind the fact that keeping them alive is a monstrous effort."

"But...they're frogs. That live in the desert. They should be hardy..."


The All Frog Buffet

"As long as you keep them moist all should be well.."

"Sure, as long as they don't speak."

"They can talk?"

"No, but they have a war cry they try to use to intimidate you. Predators recognize the sound and come running, because the frogs have no real defense other than camouflage."

[Bhu]

Dire Whitetail Deer
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 6d8+18 (45 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+12
Attack: Hoof +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
Full Attack: 2 Hooves +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Overrun
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats: Endurance, Run, Improved Bull Rush (B)
Environment: Warm or Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization: Solitary or Herd (10-30)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: --

*Gore can only be performed by males who have antlers.

"Hot Damn!! We git to go deer huntin'!"

"And we're even gettin' paid for it!"

10 minutes later

"Abner...somethin' seem...odd 'bout these deer to you?"

Dire Whitetail deer are a scourge well known for devouring grass that farmers need for their herds (and sometimes their crops as well depending on what they're growing). Many an adventurer has earned money (and a nice relaxing vacation) hunting deer. Many of these adventurers are also coincidentally rural Barbarians and Rangers, but still...

Overrun (Ex): If the Dire Whitetail Deer performs an Overrun as part of a charge, it does not provoke an attack of opportunity, and also does 1d8+6 damage to it's opponent if successful.

Multiple Stomachs (Ex) Dire Whitetail Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

Combat: Deer will only fight if necessary or spooked. Usually they run over their opponent while fleeing.



Giant Whitetail Deer
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at yet another side business of Farmer John."

A Hunter's Dream
"Let me guess. You're appealing to big game hunters?"

"Yes sir. And there's nothing hunters like more than deer."

"Do they have any effects on the local ecosystem?"


Crop Munchers

"Not so long as you put deer repellent around your crops, and keep their numbers under control."

"So you introduced a danger to the environment that needs to be culled regularly?"

"Isn't it genius?"

[Bhu]

Dire Muntjac Deer
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+12
Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats: Run, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm Forests or Plains
Organization: Solitary or Group (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: --

"This guy says his deer are more normal size like."

"I dunno Abner. I kinda liked the biggie sized ones.

"Uh...Bert...these deer have teeth."

"All deer have teeth Abner."

"Yeah but these got fangs! OMG they're like cute lil sharks of the forest!"

Muntjac are normally small asian deer with downward pointing fangs. Dire Muntjac are a little bigger, and a little more eager to nibble on strangers if ya know what I mean...

Multiple Stomachs (Ex): Dire Muntjac Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

Combat: Muntjac deer tend to nibble experimentally and run away. Then come back when you're sleeping and nibble harder. And run away. Again. We should probably stop before we're tempted to use profanity...



Giant Muntjac Deer
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be inexplicably becoming a hunting program."

Fnags? On My Deer?
"So this would be some exotic deer species?"

"Yes sir, they use the tusks to fight for mates."

"How are you convincing people to hunt them, as opposed to traditional deer?"

"We tell ''em they're vampires."

Voracious Eaters of Undergrowth
"Is it safe to allow them to roam free?"

"In the short term. In the long term they eat too much undergrowth to not be checked."

"So once again you've monetized a problem you created?"

"I don't care for your tone sir..."

[Bhu]

Dire Moose
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 18d8+90 (171 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +13/+30
Attack: Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
Full Attack: Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Dancing (4d8+16), Powerful Charge
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
Abilities: Str 32, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +12, Spot +11
Feats: Cold Endurance, Endurance, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge
Environment: Cold or Temperate Forest
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 19-24 HD (Huge), 25-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Ah don't think that huntin' bows gonna do us a lotta good Bert..."

Dire Moose are easily spooked despite their size, and will often be seen raining death down on some poor soul who happened to simply stand next to them without being noticed for a few moments.

Dancing (Ex): Dire Moose like to stand over foes and do what looks like a little dance on them. In reality they are slowly trampling them to death. This works like Trample except the Moose can end movement in it's opponents square, and the opponent gets no save for half damage if it does.

Powerful Charge (Ex): When performing a Powerful Charge attack, opponents struck by it must also make an opposed Strength Check or be knocked Prone.

Combat: Dire Moose usually charge, and then dance. They don't much need tactical genius.



Giant Moose
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be standing behind a forcewall, probably for the duration of our stay at this farm."

Did You Know Moose Get Drunk on Crab Apples?
"You have to be kidding me."

"Aren't they magnificent!"

"They're the size of elephants..."

"And much more ill-tempered!"

Spawn of the Devils

"These things are too dangerous for hunting."

"Ah, but you could also say they're too dangerous not to hunt!"

[Bhu]

Dire Elephant
Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice: 24d8+192 (300 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 25 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 25
Base Attack/Grapple: +18/+45
Attack: Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Full Attack: 1 Slam +29 melee (3d6+15) and 2 Stamps +24 melee (3d6+7) or Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Trample (4d6+22), Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +22, Ref +13, Will +9
Abilities: Str 40, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 12
Skills: Listen +18, Spot +15
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Snatch, Iron Will, Multisnatch, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Listen), Snatch, Awesome Blow (B)
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, or Herd (3-15)
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 25-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37-48 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...Ah don't wanna here any more complaints bought chasin' birds."

Dire Elephants are like regular elephants, except maybe if they were armored and twitchy from a steady diet of black coffee and spoiled bananas. In other words you reeeeally don't wanna make em angry.

Trample (Ex): DC 37 Reflex Save for half Damage. Save DC is Str Based.

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor (Ex): If the Dire Elephant has successfully grabbed an opponent with it's Snatch Feat (A Dire Elephant threatens a Snatch Attack after using it's Slam Attack instead of a claw or bite), it may squeeze them doing 2d6+15 damage per round the Grapple is maintained, or throw them away. You can pick up an opponent at least two size categories smaller than you and throw them toward a specific square up to five range increments away (range increment is 15 feet). You make a ranged touch attack (against AC 5) to throw the opponent to the chosen square. If the touch attack hits, the opponent lands in the square you designate. If the touch attack is a miss, randomly determine in which square the opponent lands, using the Missing with a Thrown Weapon diagram on page 158 of the Player's Handbook. If the opponent lands in a square that is occupied, they land prone in that square. In any case, the opponent doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity for this movement. The flung opponent (and target they hit) take 1d6 damage per 10 feet thrown, +1d6 per size category over Small.

Combat: Dire Elephants fight in much the same way as regular elephants do, they just tend to be meaner and put in the extra shot to make sure you're dead. Plus they love to grab people with their trunks and throw them around.



Giant Elephants
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching one mans clear descent into madness."

Walking Fortresses
"Oh come on. No one hunts these."

"You'd be surprised. A lot of high level Barbarians like the challenge."

"The good people at Mutual of Gnomeahaw do not support, or tolerate, fourth wall breaking."

"Well, excuse me."

Surprisingly Versatile Killers

"Really, who are these for?"

"The local Goblins love 'em. They're perfect for troop transport."

[Bhu]

Catfish God
Large Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+14
Attack: Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack: Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Spine Lash
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills: Listen +4, Search +3, Spot +4, Swim +12
Feats: Ability Focus (Poison), Endurance, Swim-By Attack
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"YOU WILL BOW!! YOU WILL BOW TO THE GREAT CATFISH GAWD!!"

"Abner the locals appear to be a might odd."

"YOU WILL BOW NOW!"

"Bert, if'n he doesn't stop a'spittin' on me when he screams ah want you to hit him in his 'quiet area' with thet axe of yours..."

Catfish Gods are enormous river catfish that grow larger and larger with time, and are worshiped by some primitives as gods. Many feed them sacrifices after they grow too big to move anymore (though that can take generations). They are, in fact, Dire Catfish.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Catfish Gawd successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may then Swallow it's victim or deal it's bite damage.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Catfish Gawd can Swallow an opponent up to 3 Size Classes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check. The swallowed opponent takes 1d8+4 bludgeoning damage and 1d8 acid damage per round inside the stomach. It may escape by doing 15 points of damage to the stomach (AC 13) with a light slashing or piercing weapon. Once it exits, muscular action closes the hole and other swallowed creatures must find their own way out.

Poison Lash (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Catfish can lash it's head back and forth while twisting it's powerful body, possibly hitting everyone in the squares in front of it and to either side. Every creature in that area must make a DC 18 Reflex Save (Save DC is Strength Based) or take 2d6+4 piercing damage from the Catfish Gawds barbels. If it is successfully damaged it must also make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be poisoned (Initial and Secondary damage is 2d4 Strength).

Blindsense (Ex): While underwater the Catfish God can sense any creature within 30 ft.

Skills: Catfish Gods have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check. They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line. They also get a +4 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

Combat: Catfish Gawds use their Poison Lash on bigger creatures, or on threats they can't simply swallow.



Giant Catfish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be meeting a local landmark, courtesy of Farmer John."

River Monsters
"That's not a landmark, that's a catfish."

"Yes, but the locals think it's a Gawd.

"And you haven't corrected them?"

"Oh, hell no. They bring in too much money. Plus it may be a Gawd."

In It's Unblinking Eyes Lie The Keys To The Universe

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you ever met a Gawd, or someone possessed by them? They're sneaky, and mean, and often like to hide inside people or critters to avoid notice."

[Bhu]

Dire Arapaima
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 12d8+36 (90 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+27
Attack: Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack: Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense, Hold Breath
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +6
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +10, Spot +9, Swim +15
Feats: Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Improved Snatch, Snatch, Snatch and Swallow (B, see Draconomicon, energy damage is acid)
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Aaahh...nuthin' like realxin' on the river trout fishin'..."

"..."

"..."

*coughs*

"We're not trout fishin' are we Bert..."

"(Sighs) No."

"Dammit Bert! You said we was supposed to be on vacation!"


The Dire Arapaima (also known as the Pirarucu) is a huge predator fish found in large rivers. It is also one of the few fish required to surface every so often for air.

Blindsense: The Dire Arapaima can sense all creatures within 60 ft.' while underwater.

Hold Breath: The Dire Arapaima can Hold it's breath out of water for (8 times it's Constitution modifier) rounds before it risks suffocating.

Skills: Dire Arapima have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check. They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: The Dire Arapaima tends to snatch and swallow against creatures small enough, Otherwise it simply snatches one, and swims away while chewing on it. It will return for another when the first is dead.




Giant Arapaima
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be seguing into fishing. "

River Monsters Part Deux
"Let me guess. Sport fishing?"

"Yes sir. They're too voracious to live!"

"But these will eat all the other river fish. What will the villagers eat?."

"These don't eat fish sir, they eat villagers."

They Can Breath Out Of Water

"Have you warned the villagers?."

"Didn't have to, the first fish loosed were...precocious.""

[Bhu]

Dire Cachalot Whale
Gargantuan Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 18d10+144 (243 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 23 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +16 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/Grapple: +18/+44
Attack: Bite +28 melee (4d6+14)
Full Attack: Bite +28 melee (4d6+14) and Tail Slap +28 melee (1d8+7)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Capsize Ship, Ram, Sonar Stun
Special Qualities: Blindsight 130 ft., Darkvision 60 ft., Hold Breath
Saves: Fort +19, Ref +12, Will +8
Abilities: Str 39, Dex 13, Con 26, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Intimidate +11, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +2, Listen +13, Spot +5, Survival +6, Swim +22
Feats: Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Frightful Presence, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Powerful Charge
Environment: Temperate Aquatic
Organization: Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating: 11
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually Neutral
Advancement: 19-27 HD (Gargantuan), 28-54 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: ---

This is an absolutely enormous Cachalot Whale. All of the nasty stories you hear about whales? His. This guy is responsible for all of them.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a Dire Whale must hit with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe in the following round.

Swallow Whole (Ex): A Dire Whale can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of up to one size smaller by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+7 points of bludgeoning damage plus 2d8+7 points of acid damage per round from the whale’s digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out using a light slashing or piercing weapon by dealing 35 points of damage to the whale’s digestive tract (AC 18). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A Gargantuan Dire Whale's gullet can hold 2 Huge, 8 Large or Medium, 32 Small, 128 Tiny, or 512 Diminutive or smaller opponents.

Capsize Ship (Ex): A submerged dragon turtle that surfaces under a boat or ship less than 30 feet long capsizes the vessel 95% of the time. It has a 50% chance to capsize a vessel from 30 to 80 feet long and a 20% chance to capsize one over 80 feet long.

Ram (Ex): The Dire Whale does 8d6+28 damage with a successful Charge atack (this does not include the excess damage from it's Feats).

Sonar Stun (Ex): Dire Whales can narrowly focus their sonar in an attempt to disorient prey. This is a Ranged attack with a range of 240 feet, and it loses it's Blindsight for the round it uses this ability. The target must make a DC 27 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based) or be Stunned 1d6 rounds.

Blindsight (Ex): Whales can "see" by emitting high-frequency sounds, inaudible to most other creatures, that allow them to locate objects and creatures within 120 feet. A silence spell negates this and forces the whale to rely on its vision, which is approximately as good as a human’s.

Hold Breath (Ex): A whale can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Skills: Dire Whales gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Listen and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

Combat: Pretty much the same as regular Cachalot Whales, with the addition of Sonar blasts.



Giant Cachalot Whale
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be looking into Farmer John's coastal defenses. Honestly, I'm quite shocked your lands extend to a port. "

The Black Whale
"Sweet Jebus..."

"My greatest creation, and our main defense against pirates."

"What do you have that needs defending?."

"We ship in a lot of grain."

Formidable Capsizer of Ships

"It would appear to be destroying on of your grain ships now. You have a farm, why import grain?"

"Why, to feed the sabotage division of course!"

[Bhu]

Dire Beaver
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Bite +5 melee (2d4+3/18-20)
Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (2d4+3/18-20)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Vicious Bite
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Hold Breath, Blindsense 30 ft.
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Craft (Dam-Building)+4, Listen +7, Spot +3, Swim +10, Survival +4
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Cold or Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary, Pair or Family (2 Adults plus 1-6 kits of x Hit Dice)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 5-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Whut we doin' t'day Abner."

"We're 'sposed ta evict a buncha Beavers. Been makin' dams, messin' up the place."

"We should pass. Ah hain't gettin' Beaver Fever."

"Relax, these here are Dire Beavers. They don't get sick."

"How is giant as opposed ta sick any better?"

Dire Beavers are the size of small Black Bears, and quite a bit more aggressive. The deforestation they sometimes cause in order to build their dams is often of concern, and Druids are often asked to "persuade" them to move on.

Vicious Bite (Ex): The Dire Beaver's bite threatens a Critical on a Natural 18-20. It ignores the Hardness of wooden items, and the DR/- of wooden beings.

Hold Breath (Ex): A Dire Beaver can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Blindsense (Ex): A Dire Beaver can locate creatures underwater within a 30-foot radius. This ability works only when the Dire Beaver is underwater.

Skills: Beavers gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Craft (Dam-Building) and Listen Checks. They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim Checks and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

Combat: Beavers are very territorial, and have a vicious bite when necessary. They are also frequent carriers of diseases, such as rabies, and should therefore be approached with caution.




Giant Beavers
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be learning more about Farmer Johns mysterious 'sabotage division'."

Very Aggressive For Being So Cute
"Who would you need to sabotage?"

"Other farming wizards. We're a very competitive lot."

"Won't giant sized Beavers be a threat to everyone though?"


Fever!

"Can you actually train these things?"

"No but you can bribe them."

"Bribe them with what?"

"Clerics. Much like their smaller cousins, giant Beavers are prone to disease."

[Bhu]

Dire Porcupine
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+17
Attack: Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Full Attack: Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Quill Slam
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Quill Defense
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 13, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills: Climb +16, Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment: Warm or Temperate Desert, Forest, Hills, and Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-16 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---


"Aw man...Burt I don't think we can save yer dawg now..."

"Hell we won't! This is whut we keep that Preacher on retainer for!"

Dire Porcupines are pests with an insatiable desire for munching salt. They'll even strip paint from buildings to get it. They shed their deadly quills every where, and some have wiped out herds as all the bulls charge them and die after getting stuck. Farmers and hunters hate them. But they're huge, good climbers, and about as powerful as a bear. A pointy bear. A pointy bear who likes to lick paint.

Quill Slam (Ex): Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage (see below).

Quill Defense (Ex): Anyone striking the Porcupine with an unarmed strike, a natural weapon, or (god forbid you're this stupid) grappling one becomes impaled on it's quills taking piercing damage equal to 1d6 plus the attackers Strength bonus. For each point of damage taken, 1 quill is embedded in the opponent. If the opponent is using melee weapons that don't have Reach he must make a DC 18 Reflex Save to avoid the quills (Save DC is Constitution based). Any round the character spends doing something strenuous (climbing, swimming, running, fighting, etc) they work their way in further causing the opponent to take a -2 penalty to all rolls until 1d6 rounds after he stops doing strenuous activity. If he spends more than 5 rounds performing strenuous activity he takes 1d6 damage. Quills can be removed several ways. They can be yanked out, doing 1 point of damage per quill. Or they can be removed by a DC 15 Healing check per quill to remove them without doing damage. If the quills aren't removed within a day, infection may set in and they must daily make Fortitude checks to avoid contacting the Red Ache (See DMG page 292). Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage.

Skills: Porcupines get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Porcupines usually just raise their quills and once an opponent has attacked them they usually decide not to do so again. If he is stupid enough to try it again the Dire Porcupine will grapple trying to lodge as many quills in the opponent as possible.



Giant Porcupine
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at he craziest idea we've seen yet."

This Is How Nature Says Do Not Touch
"What exactly are these for?"

"They're salt deficient, and will do anything for more. In the process they take out your targets defensive personnel as well."

"You realize how dangerous these things are right?"

"Pfft. Everyone knows what they're in for when they're part of a wizard farm."

Requires Extra Careful Hugs

"Well they certainly do now."

"Your viewers need to educate themselves more on the ways of the world."

"Oh, they're definitely getting one right now..."

[Bhu]

Dire Naked Mole Rat, Worker
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class: 14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+3
Attack: Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack: Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +3, Search +3
Feats: Endurance
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, Group (3-6), or Colony (25-50)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---



Dire Naked Mole Rat, Soldier
Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 3d8+12 (25 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+5
Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +4, Search +3
Feats: ENdurance, Improved Toughness
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, Group (3-6), or Guard (10-25)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-5 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---


Dire Naked Mole Rat, Queen
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 5d8+25 (47 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+12
Attack: Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
Full Attack: Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 90 ft., Blindsense 60 ft., Acid Resistance 5
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +6, Search +4
Feats: Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment: Underground
Organization: Solitary, plus 5 Soldiers and 10 Workers
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...Burt I think we got moles...big moles...maybe mutants..."

Dire Naked Mole Rats are similar to their smaller cousins, and just as disturbing. Read up on them online. It's nightmare fuel.

Improved Grab (Ex): Naked Mole Rat Soldiers and Queens may make a Grapple Check against a creature their own Size Class or Smaller without provoking an attack of opportunity. They may use their Bite during a Grapple.

Blind (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Painless (Ex): Naked Mole Rats cannot feel pain as well as other creatures. They are immune to subdual damage or penalties based solely on pain (i.e. spells like Wrack, Symbol of Pain, etc).

Survival Adaptations (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves made against disease, starvation, dehydration, or suffocation.

Blindsense (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are extremely aware of changes in the air pressure in their confining burrows. As long as they are within their tunnel system they effectively have Blindsight.

Skills (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on Search checks.

Combat: Naked Mole Rats are extremely xenophobic, killing anything entering their burrows, even mole rats from other groups. They swarm en masse and bite away or try to block the tunnel by filling it with dirt.







Giant Naked Mole Rat
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be witnessing an abomination before man and Gawd."

Nightmare Fuel
"This is...a new level of disturbing."

"They're efficient, they don't tolerate intruders and they have no mercy. They're great minions."

"Are they loyal though?"

"Control the Queen, and you control the rest."

The More You Know The Worse It Gets

"Isn't that a bit of a design flaw?"

"...crap..."

[Bhu]

Dire Ceratogaulus
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+18
Attack: Bite +13 melee (3d6+8 point)
Full Attack: 1 Bite +13 melee (3d6+8 point) and 2 Claws +8 melee (2d6+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Death from Below, Frightful Presence
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft.
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities: Str 26, Dex 8, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Hide +3, Listen +8, Search +4, Spot +1
Feats: Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack
Environment: Warm or Temperate Plains, Underground
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPHEEEEERSS! RUN! RUN FER YER LIVES!"

The Dire Ceratogaulus is the bison sized version of the prehistoric horned gopher. Mostly known for devouring fields, extreme persnickityness, and occasionally boogieing down out on the plains.

Death from Below (Ex): If the Dire Ceratogaulus begins it's turn underground, and has enough Burrow speed to reach the surface, it can explode from below, doing 3d6+12 points of damage to every non-flying opponent in it's 10 foot area. Opponents can make a DC 22 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str based). Whether it makes the Save or not, anything in the gophers area is pushed into the nearest available unoccupied space. Any opponent who fails the Save is also knocked prone.

Frightful Presence (Ex): Whenever the Dire Ceratogaulus uses it's Death from Below attack, all living opponents within 40 feet must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based) or be Shaken for the rest of the encounter. Opponents who succeed in making their Save are immune to this gophers Frightful Presence for 24 hours.

Skills: Ceratogaulus have a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Search Checks.

Combat: Dire Ceratogaulus tend to track prey via their Tremorsense before exploding from below. Depending on how successful their surprise assault is they will either duck back into the earth and repeat, or stay and begin the mauling.



Giant Ceratogaulus
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be witnessing the inexplicable. "

Playing Gawd Leads To Trouble
"So let me get this straight...you had Necromancers resurrect an extinct species so you could clone it, and then make giant versions?"

"That's the gist of it, yes."

"Sir, there are horror stories that begin this way."

"I'm a Wizard, my life is a horror story."

You Can Hear It Coming

"So you decided to replace the Mole Rats with a less flawed model?"

"Well it has what I'd call an ill temper...and it's a bit territorial."

[Bhu]

Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm
Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 12d8 (54 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Swarm traits, Low Light Vision, Half damage from Slashing and Piercing weapons, Scent
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Hide +14, Listen +11, Move Silently +4, Spot +10
Feats: Ability Focus (Distraction), Alertness, Endurance, Stealthy
Environment: Warm or Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"These here is holes Bert."

"Yep."

"You know whut this means don't you?"

"Yep."

"It means GOPHERS!"

"Yep."

"Gawds I hate Gophers..."

Gophers are normally solitary animals, but Dire Gophers like to swarm for reasons unknown to Druid's and other fauna experts.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to a Swarm's damage that begins it's turn in the Swarm's area must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 turn. See page 316 of the MM.

Combat: Gopher swarms attack pretty much like any other swarm. They're just fuzzier.



Giant Pocket Gopher Swarm
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing a less diabolical gopher species."

Beneficial, At Times
"Aren't Gophers beneficial to the ecosystem?"

"In their natural habit yes. Farms are not that"

"Maybe I was wrong about it being less diabolical..."

"They are excellent at destroying crops."

Voracious

"Why are they swarming that field?"

"Despite not growing much bigger, we think we ramped up their metabolism. It's made them a wee aggressive."

[Bhu]

Dire Groundhog
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 20 ft., Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+17
Attack: Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills: Climb +15, Listen +9, Spot +10, Swim +15
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Multiattack
Environment: Underground or Temperate Plains or Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"

"Bob...bears don't burrow."

"IT SQUEAKED AT ME!!"

"Bob...bears don't squeak."

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"


Groundhogs are, oddly enough, related to ground squirrels, and accomplished climbers and swimmers. Which makes Dire Groundhogs an all terrain butt-kicking machine...

Skills: Dire Groundhogs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

Combat: Dire Groundhogs prefer not to fight, but lash out wildly with their teeth and claws if someone presses the issue.



Giant Groundhog
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder Farmer John's obsession with burrowing mammals."

A Gardeners BBEG
"It almost looks like it's daring us to stop it eating the vegetables."

"The Groundhogs are unusually spunky."

"Perhaps a little too brave for their own good?"

"Aren't we all?"

A Critter Of Many Names

"How do you market Groundhogs? People hate Groundhogs."

"Marketing calls them different names. We also call them chuck, wood-shock, groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thickwood badger, monax, moonack, weenusk, red monk, land beaver, and thickwood badger. Whatever works."

[Bhu]

Dire Vole
Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 1/2d8+1 (3 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 15 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-9
Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
Full Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Hide +14, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Search +4, Spot +3
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm or Temperate Plains, Marsh, Hills, Forest, or Mountains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (6-20)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 2 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert, whut the hell are you doin' up that tree?"

"Thars things in thet thar field Abner! Furry things! They kept lookin' at me and squeakin'!"

"They're rats you fool."

"NO! No thays too big!"

"Dire Rats then."

"They don't have huge nekkid tails! They're some weird mouse critter! Git in tha trees, they can't climb!"

"Bert...are you drunk?"

"..."

"Maybe..."

Voles (also known as Meadow Mice) are pests that inhabit fields. The Dire versions are somewhat worse being that they're cat sized and tend to be hungrier.

Skills: Dire Voles have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

Combat: Dire Voles tend to flee combat, unless cornered, or their pups are threatened. Then they swarm.



Giant Vole
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our obligatory cute episode."

Meow
"Giant field mice? These seem like they would be superfluous after the gophers and such."

"They were a failed experiment that came prior."

"How are they a failure?"

"They have levels of empathy I've never seen in other animals."

Loyal To A Fault
"Isn't empathy a good thing?"

"Not when they feel sympathy for the target."

[Bhu]

Dire Pika
Tiny Animal
Hit Dice: 1/2d8 (2 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), either Climb 15 ft. or Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-
Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Full Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Poison Tolerance
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills (burrowing): Climb +6, Hide +14, Jump +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Spot +3
Skills (climibing): Balance +6, Climb +10, Jump +6, Listen +7, Spot +3
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Cold or Temperate Plains or Mountains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"We really should'na brought Sally along fer this. Cold as a witches behind on this mountain."

"We'll think of something Abner. We always do."

"Unca Bert! Unca Abner! Ah found shelter!"

"Really? lead on Sally!"

moments later

"Whut the hell? This cave is full of lil furry critters."

"Uh huh, and they says we can spend tha night long as we cause no trouble or squish the lil baby ones."

"How does she do this?"


Dire Pikas are among the worlds cutest furry critters, and come in mountain climbing or plains burrowing varieties. Despite being huge for Pikas, they're still pretty darn small.

Poison Tolerance (Ex): Pikas eat many plants that are poisonous, and thus have a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves against ingested poisons.

Skills: Burrowing Pikas have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, Move Silently, and Jump checks.

Climbing Pikas have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance and Jump Checks.

Both types have a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks. Pikas use Dexterity instead of Strength for Climb and Jump Checks.

Combat: Pikas are aggressive for their size, but not stupid. They flee anything bigger than themselves. At least until the adventurers go to sleep.



Giant Pikas
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching a fascinating lagomorph species."

SQUEE!
"Okay, I can see these raiding fields, but how are they any different than the others?"

"They have a variety of calls. Once you understand what they mean, you surround a rival with them, and you have yourself an alarm system that announces his movements."

"You've raised exploitation to an art form."

"High praise from you Harlan."

Gotta Hug Em All

"Do you two know each other?"

"Most Wizards know of each other."

"Is that a Shrew?"

[Bhu]

Dire Shrew
Small Animal
Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-2
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Poison
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent, Hyper Metabolism, Ferocity, Fearless
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills: Climb +10, Hide +6, Listen +6, Move Silently +4, Search +2, Spot +3, Swim +10, Survival +2
Feats: Improved Initiative, Track (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic or Underground
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"RUN! It's a big squeaky thang!!"

Dire Shrews are ravenous pests that infest virtually every environment in the known world. Since they need to eat their own weight in food each day, they're are considered a prime target for farmers whose stock they tend to raid. Few critters are as damaging to the environment as the Dire Shrew.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 13 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 1d6 Constitution, Secondary damage is Paralysis.

Hyper Metabolism (Ex): Dire Shrews have a -2 Racial Penalty made on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation, and must begin making rolls after 12 hours if it has not eaten. But it has a Racial Bonus to attack, damage, and initiative rolls equal to it's Constitution Modifier (this is included in the statblock)..

Ferocity (Ex): The Dire Shrew may fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hit points.

Fearless (Ex): Dire Shrews are immune to Fear effects.

Skills: Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search Checks.

Combat: Shrews charge and begin biting furiously, trusting in their venom to bring down prey. They are almost fearless, and will attack even creatures bigger than themselves.



Giant Shrew
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, I welcome a horrifying distraction."

The Smallest Of Horrors
"Shrews? You really used shrews?"

"Attention all employees! Attention all employees! The Shrews are loose! I repeat, the Shrews are loose!"

"How could you do this? The number one rule of minion creation is Never Use Shrews!"

"Look mistakes were made. Can we discuss this elsewhere?"

Voracious Eating Machines

"Where would you suggest?"

"The aquarium. We can continue our tour of the sabotage division there."

[Bhu]

Dire Electric Eel
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Large, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+10
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Shock
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Blindsense
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +10, Swim +10
Feats: Ability Focus (Shock), Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner that is the biggest eel evah ah did see."

"Eel? What...OMG BERT DON"T TOUCH THAT.."

KAPOW

"Bert? Bert you okay? Man, explainin' ta yer wife how yer hair got like that is gonna be tuff..."

Dire Electric Eels are responsible for much more damage than their normal counterparts, especially to fisheries.

Shock (Ex): At will as a Standard Action the Electric Eel can unleash a powerful electrical pulse doing 6d6 electricity damage in a 30 ft. Radius with itself in the center. Opponents within this area must make a DC 17 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Stunned 1d4 rounds. It is immune to it's own electrical barrage, but not that of other eels, or electrical attacks.

Blindsense (Ex): At will as a Swift Action the Electric Eel can let out a weak pulse of electricity, giving it Blindsense 60 ft. for the round as long as it's underwater.

Hold Breath (Ex): The Dire Electric Eel can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Skills: Dire Electric Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks. Dire Electric Eels may always take 10 on Swim checks, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Dire Electric Eels use their Shock attack as often as possible. if opponents seem resistant it will try to flee.



Giant Electric Eel
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's latest risky venture."

Shocking Consequences
"An eel that can generate electricity without the need of magic?"

"It even leaps from the water to shock land or air based targets."

"Let me guess. It causes mass die offs in fisheries?"

"Giving me a target beyond other farming Wizards, yes."

Not Really An Eel
"There are Wizards running fisheries?"

"Sir, we run just about everything."

[Bhu]

http://www.seasky.org/deep-sea/gulper-eel.html

Dire Gulper Eel
Large Animal
Hit Dice: 6d8+6 (33 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+11
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 12, Con 13, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +6, Move Silently +6
Feats: Improved Initiative, Skill Focus: Hide, Stealthy
Environment: Any Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert...I don't like bein' on subs Bert. I can see things. Outside the window. Horrible things that stare at me."

"I think you've been reading too many of those horror novels again."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"WHAT! What's going on? What's happening?"

"A big fish just ate a bigger fish!

"Yer killin' me Abner..."

"Aw crap it's lookin' at us!"


Dire Gulper Eels are remarkably stealthy predators for their size. They are also fairly fragile for their size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Dire Gulper Eel may swallow opponents in one of two ways. First, if it succeeds in biting an opponent up to 1 Size Class larger than itself, it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful, it may Swallow it's opponent the next round.

It may also make a charge attack with it's mouth open, and attempt to swallow any opponent in the way so long as those opponents are at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself. A Dire Gulpers stomach can hold up to 1 Huge, 1 Large, 4 Medium, 16 Small, or 32 Tiny or Smaller opponents. While inside the stomach opponents take 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage, and 1d6 acid damage per round. A swallowed opponent can cut it's way out by doing 15 points of damage to the Eel's stomach (AC 12) with a light piercing or slashing weapon. Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

Skills: Dire Gulper Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on Swim Checks. They may also use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Dire Gulper Eels use a light in their tails to lure in unintelligent prey. For other, more problematic food they just swim at it with their mouths open and hope to swallow it.



Giant Gulper Eel
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at nature's cruel sense of humor."

Also Called The Pelican Eel
"It's a swimming mouth?"

"Yup. It was a little too tricky. So this was the next step."

"It looks...well it doesn't exactly seem incredibly resilient."

"They aren't, which is why there were more experiments."

Little Is Known
"I've never seen anything like this."

"The regular species lives very deep in the ocean. We had to work hard to modify them for life closer to civilization."